03x01 - Feminine Wiles and Some Tire Thing in Lubbock

[bunniefuu]

Previously on Georgie & Mandy's
First Marriage...

Well, I guess congratulations
are in order.

I'm gonna drive you clowns
out of business.

Maybe we'll drive you
out of business.

You're swimming
in the deep end now.

Here's the rest of the dishes.

Hi, Georgie.

What are you doing here?

Oh, your mom invited me
to Bible study.

You don't think your mom
would actually date him, do you?

Of course not.
She's too smart for that.

Then what are you worried about?

That she ain't that smart
and she's gonna date him.

If I'm being honest, yes,
I am interested in Mary.

-Told you.
-To heck with that.

Fred, would you like
to have dinner with me?

You two start dating, CeeCee's
never coming over here again.

Okay, Georgie, hang on.

What you practicing for?

A friend of mine hooked us up
with a few gigs.

You and a bunch of strangers
in a van

on the road away from home?

I'll be fine.

Hello?

It's me. Made it to Lubbock.

So how's it going?
Tell me everything.

Oh, where to begin?

AUDREY:
Are you eating enough?

Sleeping enough?

Do you have enough underwear?

If you need to buy more,
you are a Hanes size large.

CONNOR [over phone]:
Good to know.

Is Georgie there?

No.

Who is it?

Oh, it's Connor.

Does he need money?
Is he in trouble?

Of course not.
Want to talk to him?

No, that was all my questions.

Your father sends his love.

Georgie, you're overreacting.

GEORGIE:
My mom just chose

Fred Fagenbacher
over her own family!

-That is not what happened.
-What's going on?

-Is that Georgie?
-Hold on.

-She asked Fagenbacher on a date.
-Yeah, so he told her

she couldn't see
her granddaughter anymore.

Like, forever?

Till she comes to her senses.

Hello?

Hold on.

Does that mean I get to take
CeeCee to Gymboree on Thursday?

-Seriously?
-Well, CeeCee shouldn't suffer

just because Mary's
having a mental breakdown.

Damn straight.

Okay, she's on your side.
That should be a red flag.

Can I please talk to Georgie?

[sighs] Fine.

It's Connor,
he wants to talk to you.

Now is not a good time.

[sighs]

Be glad you're not here.
Lot of drama.

♪

[coos]

Hear me out,

Fagenbacher thinks he's using
your mom to get to you,

but what if we use your mom
to get to him?

What are you talking about?

She can use her feminine wiles
to get inside information.

-My mom don't have wiles.
-[chuckles]

Oh, you're so young.
All women have wiles.

Does your abuela have 'em?

She buried three husbands.
What do you think?

This Fagenbacher thing
ain't gonna last.

If it does and they get married,
will you call him Daddy?

[phone rings]

McAllister Auto.

Georgie, it's Connor...
McAllister.

Hey.

Sorry about last night.
Just a lot going on.

Yeah, me, too. I'm in jail.

You're in jail?

That Missy? Say hey.

It's Connor. What happened?

We were hanging out
after the show, smoking,

and I got arrested.

Smoking ain't ill*gal.

Depends on what you're smoking.

Connor don't smoke pot.

Well, actually...

Oh, Connor.

I need you to come to Lubbock
and bring bail money.

[sighs] Fine.

Please don't tell my parents.

-Okay.
-Or my sister.

You want me to leave town
with a bunch of cash

and not tell my wife?

I would do it for you if I had
any cash, car, or wife.

I'm on my way.

Cover for me.
I got to go to Lubbock.

What are you gonna tell Mandy?

-That some tire thing came up.
-She'll buy that?

Soon as I mention tires,
she stops listening.

Okay.

This is a secret,

which you should never
keep from Mommy,

but is sometimes okay
to keep from Daddy.

-Okay.
-Okay, great.

All right.

Oh. Hello.

Hello.

Look, I know things got
a little heated last night.

So you came to apologize?

For what? Getting knocked up
by your son?

Not ready to laugh, okay.

If you think that I'm gonna
apologize to Georgie,

do not hold your breath.

Forget him, I don't want to put
CeeCee in the middle.

[sighs] Agreed.

Even though Nana's making
some questionable life choices.

Which are hers to make
and nobody else's business.

We should always argue
like this, it's fun.

Georgie doesn't know
you're here, does he?

No, and I'm not gonna tell him.

Well, I don't want to make you
lie to your husband.

Oh, that's okay, I don't mind.

Come to Nana. Oh.

Hey.

Hey. Thank you, Officer.

You okay?

Did you know there's no seat
on the toilet in jail?

My quads are burning.

So what happened?

Where's Chloe?
Where's the rest of your band?

When the police came,
everyone ran.

-Why didn't you?
-I did.

But then the officer said stop
and, you know me, rule follower.

I can't believe
you were smoking pot.

What were you thinking?

I was thinking I called
my brother-in-law,

not my mother.

And your brother-in-law
is very disappointed in you.

So what do I got to do
to get you out of here?

The lawyer said,
if I plead guilty,

I'll get off with a fine
and community service.

What kind of fine we talking?

Pretty reasonable, actually.

So what, a couple hundred?

More like 20 hundred.

Two grand?

How much does it cost
to plead not guilty?

If I lose? Jail time.

Well, let's think about this.

You're already
used to the toilet.

Hey, pretty lady.

Really? Now?

-We got the house to ourselves.
-Oh.

-We can either fool around or I can cook dinner.
-Oh.

What were you gonna make?

Hi.

You were gone a long time.

Yeah, well, she loves the park

and I'm a good mom,
so there you go.

Did you have fun at the park?

I went to see Nana.

No, I... I know you
want to see Nana,

but you can't,
so go play in the other room.

Sounds like she's missing Mary.

Well, that's between
Georgie and his mom.

Well, good for you
supporting your husband.

Of course.
I always support my husband.

Speaking of Georgie, uh,
he's gonna be late for dinner.

He had some tire thing
in Lubbock.

Oh, what kind of tire thing?

I don't know, he said "tire"
and I stopped listening.

Well, if it's just us,
maybe we should go out to eat.

Oh, that-that sounds nice, but,

you know, CeeCee's
had a long day, so...

Oh, that's all right.
I'll watch her.

Why don't y'all have
a girls' night? You deserve it.

Really? You want to babysit?

Can't a guy want to spend time
with his granddaughter?

Who's playing?

Rangers-Royals.
You two have fun.

All right, let's hear it.

This is Connor McAllister, Dad.

-Trevor.
-Your Honor.

Charged with possession
of an ill*gal substance.

How do you plead?

Your Honor, if I may speak
on behalf of the defendant?

You may not.

I just want you to know
Connor's a great guy.

I mean, he made a mistake, but

who among us
hasn't made a mistake?

You're making one right now.

One more time, how do you plead?

Guilty.

$2,000.60 hours
of community service.

Or...

$1,000 and 80 hours
of community service.

That's it,
I'm holding you in contempt.

Or you don't hold me in contempt
and you get a free set of tires.

You see, the red team
is the Rangers...

those are the good guys.

And the blue team
is Kansas City...

they're bad, bad people.

I want Nana.

Yeah. Well, I know
you miss your Nana,

but right now,
you got Grandpa time.

No Grandpa, Nana.

Yeah, well, there's, uh, there's
nothing I can do about it.

Nana.

-Oh.
-Don't tell anyone.

-Where you going?
-Gonna watch the game.

I'm a screwup.

I ruined the tour.

I ruin everything.

You don't ruin everything.

Some things, sure,
but not everything.

I just cost you $2,500.

-It's only money.
-That I can't pay back.

Not now, but at some point
you'll get a job.

[scoffs] With a criminal record?
Doesn't seem likely.

You'll get through this.

My mom said she was proud of me.

How can I tell her the truth?

Well, I ain't gonna tell her.

I'm supposed to be on tour.
As soon as I get home,

she's gonna know
something went wrong.

What if you didn't go home?

What if you stayed with a friend?

Now you're just being mean.

[knock on door]

Do you know what time it is?

Late. Can Connor stay with you
for a few days?

Is he on the lam?

From the cops, no.

From my mom, yes.

AUDREY:
After Gymboree,

I was thinking
of maybe taking her

to the library for story time,

or maybe the ice cream parlor.

Or maybe both.

Maybe try not
to enjoy this so much.

I don't remember you ever
taking me for ice cream.

Oh, sweetheart, you were already
such a chubby child.

You don't feel even
a little bad for Mary?

She brought this on herself.

Sure, but what if, one day,
Mandy cuts you off from CeeCee?

[chuckles]
That's never gonna happen.

It happens every month.

That's just your PMS, dear.

And there's this month's.

I'm just saying, if you were in
her shoes, how would you feel?

Morning.

Hey. I didn't hear you
come in last night.

Tried not to wake you.
It was late.

What was your tire thing?

Dad, I explained it to you.
He doesn't listen.

Store was going out of business,

was thinking of buying
their inventory,

but it didn't really work out.

Exactly.

So what'd you
and CeeCee get up to?

Oh, um,

we went to the park, and then

Dad watched her while
Mom and I went out to dinner.

We watched
the baseball game together.

She sat still for nine innings?

It was a really good game.

Connor was just in Lubbock.

If you'd gotten there
a day earlier,

you could've seen his band.

Aw, darn.
That-that would've been a hoot.

He should be in Austin by now.

I'm surprised
he hasn't checked in.

Well, you know what
them fellas from Kiss say,

"Rock and roll all night,
party every day."

Don't say nothing
about calling their moms.

It's okay. It's Georgie's
brother-in-law, Connor.

Question... does your toilet
have a seat?

Yeah.

You speak English?

I don't habla,
but I do understand-o.

Well, got to go.

Oh.

-Catholic, huh?
-Mm.

-Me, too.
-[phone ringing]

Hola.

Connor, you got to call your mom

and tell her
you made it to Austin.

Smart.

How you doing?

Pretty good.

I think me and Abuela
are bonding.

Oh. Hello.

Hope I'm not
interrupting anything.

Fred is not here,
if that's what you're implying.

You took a long time
to answer the door.

Is there something
that you wanted?

Look, I shouldn't be here,
and I don't want to be,

but I know, if anybody tried to
keep this little girl from me,

I would be devastated.

You're worried Mandy's
gonna cut you off someday?

You want to see the kid or not?

Come in.

There are your toys.

So...

How've you been?

We don't have to talk.
I brought a book.

Oh, thank the Lord.

Te amo, abuela.

They doing all right?

She's teaching him gin rummy.

Great.

He's down 50 bucks.
She said collect from you.

So if he wins, you have to pay?

Yeah, 'cause he's gonna win.

MANDY:
Hello?

-Hey.
-Hey.

Brought you some lunch.

Ooh, Whataburger.

You are a good wife.

I am. You know, I really am.

So, I'm, uh, sorry

you had to drive all that way
yesterday for nothing.

You know what they say.

Some days, you run over the tire.

Some days,
the tire runs over you.

No one says that.

I say it all the time.
You don't listen, do you?

Enjoy your lunch. I love you.

Love you, too.

Wait.

I got to get something
off my chest.

What? Is everything okay?

Not really.

I didn't go to Lubbock
for business.

Connor got arrested
for smoking pot,

and he made me promise
not to tell anyone.

Oh, my God. Is he okay?

He's pretty down on himself,
but he'll pull through.

[sighs] -I'm sorry I
didn't tell you sooner.

[scoffs] I understand.

You know, because you did

what you thought was best out of
love for a member of our family.

I mean, how could I
be mad at that?

Really?

Of course. And I know that
you would feel the same way

if I did something... similar.

I would.

Great. I took CeeCee to see your
mom while you were out of town.

What the hell, Mandy?

If she's gonna date Fagenbacher,
there's got to be consequences.

Our daughter
is not a bargaining chip.

Well, not when you go
giving her away.

I'm putting a stop
to this right now.

Okay, you need to calm down.

I can't believe you're trying
to turn my wife against me.

Hey, she came to me.

I hope you enjoyed your time
with your granddaughter

'cause it ain't happening again.

It is not my fault that
everybody thinks you're wrong.

What do you mean everybody?

Mandy isn't the only one
who brought CeeCee over.

So did Jim and Audrey.

What?

You are so wrong

that even Audrey
thinks I'm right!

Hello?

Did you know your parents
took CeeCee to see my mom?

-No.
-Tell me the truth.

Amazingly, this time I am.

-Hello?
-JIM: In here.

You two have some nerve keeping
secrets about my child from me.

Who do you think you...

Oh, damn.

Hi.

Chloe came to check on Connor

to see how he was doing
after he got arrested.

In Lubbock.
Ain't that where you just were?

I'm sorry. I thought they knew.

But we didn't because someone
kept a secret about our child.

Georgie, how could you?

Really?

No reason for all of us
to go down.

[phone rings]

Hello?

Hey, Mom, here in Austin.

Just wanted to check in.

Well, this is a surprise.

I decided that CeeCee
shouldn't suffer

just 'cause her nana's
gone boy crazy.

Georgie, I am so tired of you...

[sighs]

You know what? I am just happy
to see my granddaughter.

Thank you for bringing her.

Go ahead.

Hey. Aw.

Now, this don't mean
me and you are good.

As long as this
Fagenbacher thing is going on,

I ain't got nothing
to say to you.

I can live with that.

Showed her.