02x15 - The Party

[bunniefuu]

[bells tolling]

Boy, am I going to be glad to leave this place.

Stinkin' hole. Even the villagers ain't too happy to get back.

You can't blame them

I mean, between us and the Krauts, we sure messed this joint up.

Hey!

Look at that, Kirby!

Wow!

Son of a g*n.

Ladies? Mademoiselles?

Caje, Caje. Talk to them.

You tell them that we're friendly and ask
them where they live and you ask them...

Oh, you old rascal! You know what to ask them, go ahead!

[questioning in French]

Yes, we live here in this village.

Hey! You speak English very good.

Very well, Private.

I teach English.

And now you must excuse us, we have an appointment.

But...

Kirby.

What?

All of a sudden, I've become very much attached to this village.

Well, you better become unattached.

Because we're leaving soon, remember?

Hey, are we, Kirb?

I mean, the Sarge left you as the acting corporal.

We got our orders.

Orders can be changed.

[women chattering in French]

Kirby?

Shut up. I'm thinking, I'm thinking.

You can think until your head aches. Sarge gave us orders to leave.

You're not going to foul up the first time
he gives you some responsibility, are you?

How much do you get for twelve hours of aid, Kirby?

You have an idea, Kirby?

Kirby?

It won't work.

Men all loaded up, Kirby?

Yes, sir. They're all ready to go.

Good. Tell them to stick close; we'll be leaving in half an hour.

Yes, sir. I'll try to keep them in line out there.

You're finding out that command isn't as easy as it looks?

Oh no, sir. They're shaped up fine.

It's just that I found out they'll do a little goldbricking on you, if you let them.

Kirby, we have to move headquarters forward again because we

pushed the Krauts back twelve miles in four days.

That's pretty good goldbricking.

Yes, sir. But don't you think it would do a little good if we

just got our feet back on the ground?

While you were chasing the Krauts, you boys walked through a lot of mud.

Just what do you have in mind?

Well, sir. I thought maybe we ought to stay around here.

The platoon, I mean.

Stay around here a few hours and help out with this move.

Kirby, what are you doing to yourself?

A headquarters move is the dirtiest detail in the Army.

But, Lieutenant, Command has responsibilities,

Now, I don't want to shirk mine in any way.

Well, maybe you're taking your first command a little too seriously.

I mean, Saunders is only going to be gone a couple of hours,

the enemy is twenty miles away, all you have to do is take a truck ride!

But, sir, you always do more than is expected of you,

Now how can I do less than that?

Well, that's very commendable, Kirby.

But you and the boys have been fighting like tigers for the last four days

and I, for one, am very proud of you.

Now you and the men have a nice ride to Rouan

and I'll buy you a drink when you get there.

But...

Nice try, buddy.

He said we fought like tigers.

Ah, get out of here.

Come on you guys, in the truck! Off your hands, in the truck!

Start her up!

[engine sputters]

[engine fails to start]

Hey.

Sounds like somethings wrong with the distributor.

Ah, the starter is jammed.

Happened to the other driver this morning.

I think it's the starter.

No, no. It's the distributor.

That's a distributor?

Not sure?

Look, I'm the driver. I'm not the mechanic.

So what do I know from trucks?

That's a distributor? It looks okay to me.

I think you better take it down to motor pool, get somebody to check it out.

Hey, maybe one of your guys could help me unhook it?

Detach it?

Unscrew it?

We'd like to help you, Mac, but

You know how it is with government property.

I mean, if I was you, I wouldn't let no unauthorized personnel touch that thing.

Well, you better tell everybody to get out of the truck

because we're going to be right here for quite awhile.

Whoo-hoo! Everybody out!

All right, everybody out!

Hey, Davis.You're elected.

- You stay in there and watch the weapons.
- Aw, Kirby!

Hey, Kirby. Let's announce patrol.

You better believe it! Come on, let's go.

Hey, fellas?

It won't work.

Hey, guys. Come here a minute.

Look! Yech.

We kind of look pretty sloppy if we're going to have dates, don't we?

Guess we are a little gamey.

There ain't nothing we can do. The Krauts knocked out the water system before they left town.

We can't take a bath or nothing.

Well, there's always the river.

The river?

Are you kidding? That river is ice cold.

So are the girls going to be if we don't get cleaned up!

Maybe they go for the brute type.

You never know.

What?

Look, you guys think you're getting me in that river, you're crazy!

[whooping and cheering]

Hey, what are you doing? Let go of me!

[whooping]

That's cold!

[overlapping chattering]

- Ouch! - Keep turning.

I think my long johns are shrinking.

Well, that's the idea, Kirby. It's form-fit.

But I can't breathe! I feel like a clam.

[Caje and Billy] Keep turning!

Ouch!

[humming]

[scraping]

Ahhh!

I'm sorry, Kirb.

I knew I shouldn't have been the last one shaved.

[Caje continues humming]

What's that?

This is France, Billy! This is France, boy. They'll love it.

No, no, no, no.

Come on, let's get out of here.

Hey, just a minute, Kirby.

Come on, we better find the girls. We've wasted enough time.

Hey, Caje. Ask him.

Three...femelle

Three!

[laughs] Yes, three, three!

Yeah!

Well, come on.

- Oh, no. Are you kidding!
- Forget it!

[girls chattering in French]

Hey, we're right on target.

Ah, we've been outflanked.

Well, where did they take a bath?

They're probably clerks. They don't get dirty.

- Well, we got to get them away somehow.
- sh**t them!

Oh, very clever, Kirby. Very clever.

Hey, we'll walk by the table and check them out very slow.

See if you recognize any of them.

- Afternoon, girls.
- Mademoiselles.

Sergeants.

Who's that one on the end?

I think he's a supply sergeant. I've seen him around here someplace.

What about the other two?

They're from demolition.

This whole town was heavily mined so they sent them down from Division.

They want them to clean the place out.

Well, what do we do now?

Don't know.

Demolition.

Hmmm.

Demolition.

All right, let's synchronize.

I forgot. I hocked my watch.

All right, here. Take mine.

But don't blow yourself up because this is a keepsake.

All right, 15:05.



Let's get out of here.

[laughing and chattering]

Merci, mademoiselle.

[expl*si*n]

What was that?

It sounded like an expl*si*n.

Don't worry girls, everything is going to be all right.

- Hey, Kirby!
- Kirby, what happened?

What's wrong, Kirb?

- God, what happened to you?
- It's terrible!

What's terrible?

I was walking down the street.

by a bombed out building, it's down the street over there.

All of a sudden, I tripped over this rock.

What happened? Did you hurt your foot?

You must have a broken ankle!

No, I got mad at the rock, you see, and I threw it.

- And it exploded, right?
- Yeah!

No, no. I don't mean that.

The rock didn't explode. It was a mine that exploded.

Mine?

You mean there was a mine in that hut?

Just a minute, they told us this village was clean, and I mean clean!

What happened?

Here, Kirby

Say, excuse me.

I'm Sgt. Londs, this is Sgt. Claybourne.

Well, we'd like to talk to you, Sarge

but as you can see here, our friend is pretty shaken up.

We can see that but we gotta talk to him.

Hey, soldier.

We're demolition men.

- Demolition?
- That's right.

We reported this village clean.

Something like this could make a whole lot of trouble.

So you better take us back to the spot where it happened.

Well, now wait a second, fellas. Can't you see he's upset?

We're pretty upset too, buddy.

No, no. Please, please.

Don't fight.

- I better go.
- We'll go with you, Kirb.

No, you stay here because you've got to keep your appointment with old Iron Pants.

Brigadier General Smith?

That old Iron Pants?

Well, he's my uncle, see.

He just happened to be in this sector and just came by to say hello.

Old Iron Pants...your uncle?

Well, I used to be his clerk.

but I got so sick and tired of putting through all those court martials

that I just had to get transferred back to the Infantry.

You sure you're gonna be okay, Kirb?

Yeah, yeah.

Don't you worry about him. He's going to be just fine.

I guarantee you that. I'll tell you what I'm going to do.

We're going to put through a thorough investigation.

Thorough investigation!

Let me help you up there, soldier.

- Son!
- Thank you, you're very kind

How do you feel, buddy?

All right.

- Take it easy. You'll be all right, kid.
- It's over here.

Right down here.

You'll be all right.You'll be fine, kid.

Hey, don't move.

There may be more of them.

Doesn't make sense. We checked this whole area yesterday.

No, no. It's right there, that big hole.

If I had been walking there,

I think I better go somewhere and lie down.

That's a good idea. Why don't you go someplace and get some rest.

- Let us handle this.
- That's right.

Otherwise, you'll just get upset all over again.

Oh, don't worry about me. It's all in the line of duty anyway.

I'll be all right. Good hunting!

Thanks, pal.

[chattering in French]

Now, just take it easy. Everything is going to be all right.

Two down, one to go.

We found out about that other guy. His name is Rafferty.

He's the head of supply.

I don't know where they've gone. They'll be back.

Bonjour, G.I!

[Caje speaking French]

Jeannine.

[exclaims]

Jeannine?

She wants to know if we're the brave soldiers who liberated the village.

Well, how about that.

Oh, my goodness!

What's going on here?

What is it, what is it?

Hey, how come the kid didn't kiss me?

My money! Hey, wait a minute!

Caje, how do you say 'thief' in French?

Voleurs

Val-oose!

Val-ouge!

That's what you are! You're a [stammers]

- Voluers!
- Val-oose!

All right. I'm a voleurs.

Hey! What is this? She speaks English?

This kid's got more tricks than a dog act.

Let's take her to the General.

Oh, please! Don't punish me.

I am a poor orphan.

I have eight brothers and sisters.

They're orphans too.

Sometimes we don't get enough to eat. We live in a convent.

Convent? What a con artist.

Wait a minute, Kirby.

Maybe she's telling the truth.

Have you seen any convents around here?

No but sometimes you gotta show some faith.

I bet this kid is head of the black market in town.

You should have faith like him!

[scoffs]

Hey, Jeannine.

Did you see three beautiful girls at the cafe with the Sergeant?

- Oui.
- You know them?

You are going to turn me over to them?

Look, we won't turn you over to anybody if you do us a little favor.

What kind of favor?

You know that Sergeant?

Could you persuade him to leave the girls alone for a minute?

Oh, I see.

I bet you do.

Leave it to me. I am very clever.

For a price.

You get your price after you deliver.

You don't trust me?

Remember, you're a val-eese.

Voleurs.

Oh, sorry. Val-loo.

Now, what's wrong?

Garcon, another bottle of red wine, si vous plait.

Are we going to get started or not, Sergeant?

You said you had everything arranged for the party.

I have, honey! I got a batch of goodies here to feed an army.

Then why are we waiting?

[chattering in French]

Hold it, hold it. Roxanne, hold it.
[whistles]

I'll tell you what I'm going to do.

We are going to get started.

Now, we'll pick up Londos and Claybourne later.

Claybourne? Londos? Claybourne?
We'll pick them up later.

Let's go.

Angelique!

Jeannine.

[exclaims]

Hey!

- Pay her, pay her.
- Why me?

[screams]

[laughing]

Well, well, well. Hello, there.

Pardon me, have you seen Sgt. Rafferty?

Rafferty?

- He just went down the street a few moments ago.
- Down the street?

Could that have been the guy we saw?

Yeah, it might have been him.

Which way did he go?

He looked as though he was running all the way back to Omaha beach.

Did you notice he kept running and running?

I noticed that.

Miss, if you were so inclined, you know.

We, perhaps, could get a jeep of our own and go after the Sergeant.

And Sgt. Londos and Sgt. Claybourne?

Could we find them too?

Well, if you really wanted to.

Well, you see it is necessary.

The Sergeant and I have been planning a party.

A party? What kind of party?

If you could plan a party, what kind would you have?

Well, that is the kind of party the Sergeant has planned.

But the Sergeant is not here.

I think we could very well dispense with him anyway.

But this is not possible.

The Sergeant has collected much food, many delicacies, for the party.

We haven't eaten such things in this village for years.

That definitely gives the Sergeant an advantage.

We definitely have need of the Sergeant.

Oh, no, no, no. Not necessarily so.

You see, what we really need is...

Where has the Sergeant stashed all this food?

- Stashed?
- Yes, stashed.

- Cached
- Oh!

Cached, yes.

[horn honking]

Londos!

I can't feel anything.

Must be real deep.

Could be an un-exploded b*mb.

Get the shovels.

We're getting closer.

Hey, why don't we get a detail to do this digging.

And get somebody k*lled? Can you imagine what Old Iron Pants would do?

You think it's still dangerous?

It can go off just like that.

Why take chances? Let's avoid trouble and do the digging ourselves.

All right.

Hey!

Oh, good girl.

Again?

It is a pleasure doing business with you.

There we are.

Give me that, give me that.

[laughing]

Here we go.

Okay, up!

[overlapping chattering]

Au revoir.

- Is this Sgt. Rafferty's quarters?
- Yeah.

- What's your name, Private?
- Reeves, Reeves.

He's the one.

Private, go get some dry clothes together, right away.

All right, sure.
I don't need any dry clothes.

Rafferty does. Don't you care about Rafferty?

Oh, no. I like Rafferty!

How come Rafferty needs dry clothes?

Well, I suppose if you fell in the river, you wouldn't need dry clothes?

No, no. Well, yeah!

Rafferty fell in the river?

Have you packed the boxes yet?

Boxes? What boxes?

The boxes for the party!
What's a matter with this guy?

Very slow.

I'll get the boxes!

Wait a minute, you gonna let Rafferty just sit in that river and freeze?

No, no. I like Rafferty.

- Yeah, you keep saying that.
- Very slow.

All right, you go get the clothes.

- We'll handle these boxes.
- Yes.

Hey, what kind of and how big a party are you planning anyway?

What is this, a whole case of soap?

Cleanliness is next to Godliness.

Is he up the river or down the river?

[in unison] Up the river!

Ow, she bit me!

Oh, poor thing.

What do we need a goose for anyway?

I mean, why don't we just get a couple bottles of wine and forget it?

What kind of parties do you throw in this country anyway?

[speaking French]

What?

Oh.

Some love affair.

Hurry!

[ahem] Gee, I...

I bet you haven't had anything to eat for sometime.

When you have been without food for so long,

There is a special kind of hunger.

We are like little squirrels,

taking every acorn on a tree,

so we will not starve when the winter comes again.

Thanks a lot.

Claybourne!

Landos!

- Over here, Rafferty!
- Where?

Over here!

- Where?
- Over here!

Where? I don't see you! Where?

Hey, watch out.

You hurt yourself?

You hurt yourself?

What are you guys doing in this hole?

Looking for a b*mb.

Here.

Just listen.

Wait a minute.

[static]

Watch out, watch out.

You hear it?

That's the iron in the sewer that runs under this place!

You meatheads!

The iron? No bombs?

No bombs! We've been suckered.

At the cafe! They suckered us!

They just wanted us out of the way so they could get to our girls.

Oh, no! You gotta be kidding!

Kidding?

They conned Reeves out of the grub and they flew the coop!

Well, what are we standing here for? Let's go!

Let's go? Go where?

What goes with grub and girls?

Huh? Huh? Huh? Huh?

Let's get out of here.

Help me out!

All right.

[cheering]

[overlapping chatter]

Look, are you sure it's all right?

Monsiuers told me I was welcome to whatever was left after the bombing.

- It's all right.
- Well, okay.

Look, why don't you guys stay here and we'll see what we can salvage out of this place?

And if anything goes wrong, take off and we'll meet you in the square. All right?

Fair enough, buddy.

Come on.

There was a direct hit on the back of the building.

Oh, there it is.

This is a good one.

See, what I mean is we could have a real communication, you and me.

If you just give it a chance.

[questions in French]

Caje, tell her what I'm talking about. Make it sound better in French.

I think you lost something in the translation!

You better tell her again.

Hey!

[horn honking]

Hey!

Up there, quick! Hurry!

Wait.

[laughing and cheering]

Angelique, you look like a front porch kind of a girl?

You have a front porch back at your place?

I mean, with maybe a swing on it?

Oh. I'm sorry.

Oh, well. That's okay.

You got a front porch kind of a smile.

That'll do just fine.

Hey, Caje! What did she say?

That you're a gentleman, Billy!

This is the nicest thing a French girl can tell you!

Oh, yeah?

Hey, nice little place you got here!

Start bringing the boxes inside.

We'll go and get ready for the party.

- Let's get with it!
- Here we go!

Lady, ladies.

There we go.

And two.

There you go.

Give me another one.

Hey, this looks like it used to be some joint!

Aw, maybe they're rich.

The thing I can't figure is what this place looked like before it got hit.

Where's the girls?

- [distant singing]
- What is that?

Sounds like a phonograph.

Well, it doesn't sound like a phonograph to me.

Hey, they're married. We better get out of here!

Hey, just wait a minute.

I just figured out what this place is.

[singing in French]

Hey, it's that kid! That va-leese!

Welcome to our convent, G.I's!

These are my brothers and sisters.

Angelique tells us you brought much food!

I told you we should have listened to this kid.

We would have known there was a convent.

We would have known we were being taken.

And we would have known what these three were up to.

and we would have known that we were three big patsies!

But no, no. You guys got no faith!

This is Saint Mary's school.

This is the day we commemorate her.

Hungry little squirrels gathering acorns, huh?

You know what they're gathering?

Suckers!

Oh, Billy. Please listen to me.

This saint of yours, what was her specialty?

During another w*r,

Saint Mary gathered the children from all around,

and brought them to this place. Somehow, she kept them alive.

And when it was over,

This convent was built in her honor.

It's kind of torn up, isn't it?

Oh, but it will be rebuilt!

How about that.

Hey, guys.

Corps Engineers are coming through here next week.

I hate to think what these operators will promote out of them.

A brand new orphanage, that's all.

Perhaps.

After all, there are some advantages to not being a saint.

Hey!

Hey, I hate to break everything up, fellas. But the truck is repaired.

We're pulling out.

[in unison] But we just got here!

[laughing and cheering]

Hey, you got it fixed?

Yeah. It was the starter!

Oh, yeah? I thought it was the distributor.

Yeah, you said that already!

Anyway, let's get going!

I gotta wait for the NCO.

That's me! I'm in charge for the trip.

There's been a change in plans.

What do you mean?

Since we got delayed, there's some other guys coming along with us.

Others? Who?

- Sergeant...
- Never mind!

I think I know what you mean!

Look, you guys.

Fellas.

I told you.

It wouldn't work.