Wilhelm: Previously on
Crystal Lake...
Dorf: Man-eating bears.
Exciting.
Keep this to yourself.
You know me.
Yeah, that's why I'm saying it.
Found some remains
in the woods yesterday.
- Human, looks like.
- Whose?
[Pam grunting]
Lee: That's what
we're trying to find out.
How are you, big bro?
Had to go down
to the lake today.
Not that Voorhees lady again?
Feels nice, right?
Getting out and about.
Thank you for
never giving up on me.
Never.
Jason made it for me
last summer.
Anyway,
I thought you should have it.
Pam: You keep it.
He made it for you.
Claudette: Oh, my God,
what are you doing here?
I heard there was a party.
Go home.
[thud]
[thunder booms]
- [glass shattering]
- [Claudette screams]
What the hell was that?
[panting]
[birds cawing]
[intense music]
[♪]
- [toy g*n whirring]
- Gotcha! Point blank!
You didn't hear me coming,
did you?
I completely outflanked you.
Nuh-uh, I just--
I just got turned around.
Hey, don't point it at my face.
Come on, it can't hurt you. See?
- [toy g*n whirring]
- Oh, jeez.
- What happened?
- Jason: I don't know.
Grace: Did you hit
a branch or something?
I guess so. Weird.
- Does it hurt?
- Mmm...
Not really. I'm pretty tough.
[chuckles]
Creepy, huh?
Let's check it out.
Are you crazy? We're not even
supposed to be out here.
Well, no one cares.
This whole property has been
abandoned for, like, eons.
Come on.
Come on!
[intriguing music]
[wings flapping]
[♪]
Jason: Corn!
Whoever owned this place,
they were probably moonshiners.
Corn and sugar are
the main ingredients in hooch.
So I bet this is
where they used to store it.
Mmm. Well, whatever it is,
it smells like butt.
Hey. We could use this place.
This could be our stronghold.
Like a fortress.
Oh, wow. Check it out!
We could have
a secret cache, too.
- Cache?
- For food and weapons.
In case there's a siege.
I read about it
in my survival guide.
Grace: Hmm.
These woods are ours.
We may have to defend them.
Right. From all the invaders.
Don't tell anyone, though.
About this place.
Okay? It's just for us.
Yeah, just for us.
[birds calling]
[rain pattering gently]
[groans]
[low, ragged breathing]
[twigs snapping]
[ominous music]
Hello?
[♪]
[low, ragged breathing]
[theme music]
[♪]
[♪]
[sizzling]
So, uh, how about a movie, then?
Fist of Fury is still
playing at the Rialto.
Didn't you see it already?
Three times. But, uh, you know,
it's not like we'd be
watching anyway, so. [snickers]
That'll be a pass.
Oh, come on.
Give me one good reason.
I'm a grown woman, for one.
It's gonna take more
than a box of Milk Duds
and you fumbling with my bra
in the back row to get me going.
Wanna give me a hint, at least?
Gus: What else could it be?
I'm-- I'm just saying,
it ain't typical behavior,
- scattering remains like that.
- There was no scattering.
There was one
partially masticated coccyx.
No,
I don't think that's accurate.
No-- Hey, Dorf! Hey, Dorf.
What was it you boys
found out there? A femur?
ME says it was a pelvis.
So, you know, what about
some pizza before then?
A little Asti Spumante?
Hold the phone. What pelvis?
Oh. Chief and I found
some human remains.
Up off Buttermilk Trail.
Nothing to worry about.
Well, who would it belong to?
Yeah, well, that's the $64,000
question right there.
No one local, that's for sure.
Looks like a bear attack.
You'd best be careful out there.
- Bear?
- Okay, hold up, Gus.
I said the bear had been at him.
I didn't say
the bear k*lled him.
Well, you said it was
a possibility.
Hmm. Might be smart to buy
some bear spray, just in case.
- Yeah, I think I'll do that.
- Yeah, and lock up your car.
They know how to use
the door handles.
- Bullcrap.
My cousin Jeremiah
found one in his Chrysler once.
Newsflash, they don't
just sh*t in the woods.
[Enos chuckles]
Hey, Rita, hold up.
[door closes]
What's the matter
with you two, huh?
I'm trying to get some nookie,
and you guys are sitting here
talking about pelvises
and k*ller bears.
Okay, you're not even
supposed to know
what we found out there,
all right?
Well, I guess you shouldn't
have run your mouth then.
Arnie: It's what happens
when the government
thinks they know better
than the regular folks.
Those limp dicks in the Capitol
outlaw bear hunting.
Next thing you know,
man gets ate.
Damn, Arnie.
Okay, no one is saying that,
all right? We--
we're still gathering intel.
My ex's brother lost
his right arm to a bear
back in '57,
right up to the elbow.
It attacked him?
No, he was trying
to hand feed it.
Point is,
North American black bear ain't
a creature to be trifled with.
Especially once it's got
a taste for human flesh.
- Human flesh.
- [growling]
Stop.
- [Trudy chuckling]
- [Gus & Enos laughing]
Lee: That should do it.
Well, thank you for coming over
and helping me do this.
I don't think
I could do it alone.
Shouldn't have to.
You know, um...
I kept Alma's things
way too long.
Eventually they felt
less like her and...
more like anchors, you know?
Weighing me down.
Why do I feel like
I'm just throwing him away?
Lee:
'Cause he's still with you.
Inside.
And that's a good thing.
But this...
this is just a thing.
Well, I think that
is everything from there.
Let's see.
- Did I miss anything?
- Looks good. Looks good.
- Oops.
- Oh.
- Oh!
- [gasps]
Is that a skin mag?
- Oh, my God! Lee!
- [Lee chuckling]
He was just a boy!
Lee: Yeah,
on the verge of growing up.
No, he was still
playing with toys!
I would put him to bed
and, like, five minutes later,
- I would hear...
- [toy g*n whirring]
- [chuckles]
- I mean, I guess I didn't...
think about what else he could
have been doing in here.
He might have just been
reading it for the articles.
I mean, this one has
an interview with Elliott Gould.
[both laughing]
["Red Red Wine"
by Neil Diamond playing]
Lee: I told you
that girl was wild.
You're lucky
she ain't dragging you
to some kind of swinger shindig
with wife-swapping
or whipped cream wrestling.
- Wait, is that really a thing?
- [laughs]
These days,
everything's a thing.
Oh, God.
I don't even know what I would
do at something like that.
It's been so long since I've...
Oh, you and me both. [chuckles]
I'm pretty sure
it's like riding a bike.
[laughs] Yeah.
All that heavy breathing
and pumping
and holding on for dear life.
[laughing] You know what?
No more Lambrusco for you.
[Lee chuckling]
There must have been
something to that experience.
Because you're
definitely acting...
What? Crazy?
I was gonna say "different."
But I like it, though.
It fits.
Well, a lot of it was nonsense.
Punching pillows and
hugging your inner child and...
But I guess
I just needed something
to kind of shake me up
a bit, you know?
I've been...
so focused on Jason
for so many years.
Protecting him
and worrying about him.
Even before I...
lost him,
I think I lost
a piece of myself.
A piece that I really missed.
I don't know why
it took some fake guru
at a Sheraton and to make me
see that, but... [laughs]
I think I'm--
I'm finally ready.
Ready for what?
To let go.
Maybe.
You know, start a new life.
Even if I don't know
what that looks like.
How long did it take you
after Alma?
To get a life?
I think I'm still
working on that.
♪ My blue, blue heart ♪
Whew.
[Pam sighs]
[Lee chuckles]
Thanks for dinner.
Yeah, you are very welcome.
You have a--
a good evening, Chief Brooks.
Ah... [laughs]
- I'm sorry.
- No, it's okay. It's--
I-- You know, I felt like, uh,
we had a moment back there
and I just let it walk on by.
No, I'm--
I feel it too.
I just, uh...
- Oh, sh*t.
- No, I--
You're really the only person
I have to rely on
in this whole town, and if I did
anything
to screw that up for us,
I just--
I'd just never forgive myself.
I understand.
Yeah.
You have a good night,
Chief Brooks.
I'll try. [chuckles]
- Miss Voorhees.
- Yeah.
Yeah. Yeah.
Yeah.
[car door closes]
[car engine starts]
[insects buzzing]
Perimeter's clear.
There's no bed-check Charlies
in these woods.
Just keep your lid on tight.
[foreboding music]
[helicopter blades chopping]
[soldiers shouting indistinctly]
- [g*nf*re]
- [soldier screams]
[overlapping shouting]
[g*nf*re]
[indistinct radio chatter]
[soldiers screaming]
[screaming, g*nf*re fade]
[animal screeches]
[♪]
Forgive me, friend.
- [knife slashes]
- [animal yelps]
[♪]
[birds chirping]
Hello?
[bird cawing]
[♪]
[low, ragged breathing]
Who's out there?
[thudding]
[breathing heavily]
[♪]
[♪]
[birds chirping]
[distant phone ringing]
"Communist agitator." Hmm.
The f*ck?
Hey, Chief. Just got a hit
on another abandoned car.
What's the matter?
Gold Ford sedan
over in Middlesex County.
- Middlesex?
- Dorf: Yeah.
Tow company called it in
about an hour ago.
I told 'em not to haul it
out of there
'til you get a good look at it.
Could give us a lead
on Elvis, huh?
[knocks on desk]
Elvis?
Yeah, that's, uh, what
I've been calling our John Doe.
You know? Elvis the pelvis.
[grunts]
It's a wonder
you're still single.
[laughs]
What?
- I got it. Thank you.
- Copy.
Gustavo: It's a rental car.
Been missing for a week,
and someone
finally called it in.
And the renter company
sent you out here to pick it up?
Yeah.
Did they say who rented it?
Name, company, anything?
Hey, man, I just hook and haul.
This Colombo sh*t is your trip.
Do you remember who
you talked to, at least?
I don't know. Bazooka Joe.
You're not very good at
your job, are you, Gustavo?
Man, this just a paycheck
till I can get on Soul Train.
[sighs]
Oh, sh*t. Is that blood?
It ain't peanut butter.
I'ma need the number
for that rental car company.
Yeah. Yeah, sure thing, man.
sh*t.
[school bell ringing]
[door opens]
Claudette:
Sorry to break it to you,
but you don't have a good side.
I'm almost done.
Like you haven't been
avoiding me all day?
I don't know what
you're talking about.
Barry's car, you little faker.
You're gonna buy him
a new window
or I'm gonna
take it out on your a*s.
I don't know, Claudette.
Look at her clothes.
I don't even think
she has lunch money.
[Claudette snickers]
I didn't do anything.
You know what I think?
I think you're full of sh*t.
And I'm gonna give
that mouth of yours a bath.
- [Grace shouts]
- Eat it, you b*tch!
[Grace grunting]
Ow! Little freak bit me!
You're even crazier
than your lush mom!
[spits]
[both grunting]
[Claudette grunts, gasps]
[both grunting]
[Claudette yelping]
- Oh, my God, get off her!
- Grace: Take it back!
- You freak!
- You psycho!
- Grace: Take it back!
- Whoa, whoa, whoa!
What in God's name
are you girls doing?
No, no, no, no.
Get up. Get up. Get up.
She just jumped me!
She's insane!
- I saw her do it.
- Is that true, young lady?
I didn't! She-- she thinks
I broke her boyfriend's window
and she came in
yelling at me for money.
But why would she
be thinking that?
[tearful] 'Cause,
Miss Napolitano, she's upset
I made her leave a high school
party the other night,
which she was too young
to be at in the first place.
[sniffles]
So she threw a shoe
at Barry's window
and shattered it.
- I didn't!
- Claudette: It's sad, really.
She used to be such a sweet kid.
But I'm sorry,
have you seen her mom?
- Shut up!
- Whoa, whoa, whoa!
That's enough, young lady.
Principal's office. Let's go.
March!
Then he just ripped open
his raincoat, and there it was.
- Girl, shut your mouth.
- God as my witness.
Twig and berries
all flapping in the breeze,
smacking against his thighs.
It was cold as a mother, too.
- Well, what'd you do?
- Girl, what you think?
I threw my corn dog
at it and ran.
- [both laughing]
- Well, leave it to you.
'Cause I'm in the city
damn near every weekend,
- I ain't never seen no pervert.
- Oh, I swear,
between that
and the man-eating bears
running around these woods,
ain't nowhere safe.
Bears?
- What bears?
- You didn't hear?
Chief Brooks found
a dead man in the woods.
Part of a man.
They say the bear tore him
all to pieces.
That's awful.
Do they know who it was?
Probably some hiker out messing
where he shouldn't have been.
Chief Brooks will sort it out.
Mm, child.
That's a fine man right there.
Mm-hmm. Maybe I should
send my man out to them woods.
For the job, honey.
[Lois and Maureen laughing]
Child.
[tense music]
[Pam panting]
Just breathe. Okay.
It's fine.
Don't forget to breathe.
A bear,
they think it's a bear...
It's fine, it's fine.
[Pam panting]
Valerie:
Okay, thank you.
You're suspended? Really?
You think I have time for this?
You think I like working
six nights a week?
I don't, okay? I don't.
I do it for you
and this is how you repay me.
- I didn't do any--
- Hey!
Hey. Come on.
Grace!
Hi, honey. Are you okay?
Ow, you're hurting me.
Move. Move your a*s now.
Get in the car, damn it. Grace!
sh*t.
[engine thrumming]
[office din]
Briana:
What's this?
Bergamotto?
Only the best for my baby sis.
Damn, Lee.
You must really need a favor
to bring out
the big g*ns like this.
- You know I can take these back?
- No. Uh-huh.
You gonna tell me what you want
or you gonna watch me eat?
[Lee sighing]
"400-pound pumpkin
dazzles spectators
at a Trenton summer carnival."
[Lee laughing]
I was gonna ask you
for some help on the case,
but you look like
you got your a*s pulled.
You know what?
Keep running
your mouth like that,
I'm gonna have Nate
throw your a*s out.
I didn't hear that and
I'm not getting involved.
- p*ssy.
- [Lee chuckling]
[Lee sighing]
I thought nothing ever happened
in Crystal Lake
- and that's why you like it.
- Nothing does and I do.
But now I got some John Doe
pelvis in my woods.
A rental car
that's two counties over
that looks like it
might have been his
with a bunch of dry blood
in the trunk.
Sounds like foul play.
Lee:
I don't know just yet.
But it's weird.
Yeah. Pelvis was weird enough.
I called Hertz
and they told me that the car
was rented from the airport
by some cat named Carl Egan
using a company credit card
issued to a Subsun Solutions.
So, it's a business trip.
Yeah, except...
Subsun Solutions doesn't exist.
And the phone number
that Hertz took down
for it is disconnected
and none of the airlines
have any record of a Carl Egan
landing in Newark that day.
Hm. Yeah, that is weird.
Like I said,
I got an invisible man
working for a ghost company
that might have been k*lled
and dumped into my woods.
And you need my help.
You got access to tools I don't.
Database, personnel records.
Oh, yeah. I'll get it.
I just want to hear you ask.
Pretty please,
can you help little old Lee?
Okay!
- I'll look into it.
- Okay. All right. Well...
So get up.
- Love you.
- Love you too.
Yeah.
Lee, working a case,
it looks good on you.
[somber music]
[eerie sting]
[country music playing]
Hamish: Yeah, I'm off the case.
I just need one case.
Gus:
Well, there you go.
Hamish: You want to do me up?
Well, I definitely will.
Gus: All right, all right,
coming up, coming up.
Hey, Ralph.
Come grab a dog.
Didn't know you were joining us.
I'm not.
Enos:
What's the problem?
Figured you'd want to take
a crack at this thing.
Yeah, come on.
You can help us track it.
Bunch of fools.
You think a bear did this?
The only thing waiting for you
out there is death.
Enos: Ooh.
Says the town crazy!
[all laughing]
Ignore him, boys.
That fool wouldn't know a hawk
from a hand saw, huh?
[knocking on door]
Good afternoon, Grace.
Miss Voorhees.
My mom just left for work,
but I'll tell her you came by.
Oh, no, no, that's okay.
I just--
I came to drop something off.
Oh.
So, this was
Jason's favorite jacket
and I found it and I thought
that maybe you might like it.
Oh.
Would you like to try it on?
- Okay.
- I mean, only if you want to.
- No, that's fine.
- Pam: Okay.
Um, it's nice, Miss Voorhees.
Real nice.
Um, it's a little snug.
Well, you can call me Pam,
first of all.
And it is a little small, but...
I don't know,
it really suits you.
I-- I don't know.
My mom gets real uptight
about taking charity.
Oh, it's not charity.
It's a gift.
You know, you can't go around
school in a torn up jacket.
I know how kids are.
Believe me.
Thanks.
Oh, no.
- Thanks, um, sorry.
- Oh, sorry.
- It's not always this messy.
- No.
My mom's been working a lot.
Pam: You should see my house
when I get busy.
It's like a b*mb went off.
[mimicking expl*si*n]
Have you eaten?
I'll make you
a little something.
What the hell is this now?
Hey.
Oh, sh*t.
Enos:
Look at this.
Do I even want to know
what the hell is going on here?
Chief, Deputy Dorfman
told us about the bear.
The one mauled that hiker.
- Did he now?
- Harry: Terrible thing.
Real tragedy.
- But it got us to thinking--
- Let me stop you right there.
The last thing I need
is a bunch of drunk fools
making trouble for
the local bear population.
The last thing we need
is a rogue predator
preying on our children.
Is he eating children now?
You're not from these parts,
Chief.
So, forgive me for saying
you're out of your element here.
I suppose
that's possible, Hamish.
But I'm the one
that's wearing the badge.
The badge.
[laughing]
That belongs on my boy's chest.
I'm going to make this
real simple for you.
Nobody's hunting a bear
today or tomorrow
without a permit or permission
from yours truly.
The fact is,
there's not a shred of proof
that a bear has k*lled anyone.
No, that's not
what Dorf said, Chief.
Well, the gap between
what Officer Dorfman says
and what he knows is about
as wide as the Grand Canyon.
Takes after
his father in that way.
Now I'm going to
need y'all to get on
and let me do my job.
Y'all hard of hearing?
I said go to hell home.
Now!
[engine thrumming]
Well,
I suppose that's that then.
Yep.
Nothing we can do, I guess.
[laughing]
Gus: Let's go, boys!
We're going to get the bear!
[Grace clearing her throat]
I heard what happened at school
with Claudette.
Is everything okay?
Uh, yeah, yeah.
Yeah, no,
it's really no big deal.
Yeah, I was
just surprised is all.
I thought you guys were friends.
What happened?
Um...
everyone thinks she's this
perfect princess, you know,
but she's not.
She drinks and she cusses
and she could be a real b*tch.
Sorry.
But...
if people knew what
she was really like
and...
And the things she's done?
I-- I just think that
people like her,
they shouldn't always
get away with everything.
You're right.
I know kids can be cruel.
Especially to the kind-hearted.
I'm not kind-hearted.
You're the only person who
saw Jason for who he was inside.
Most of the adults around here
couldn't do that.
I liked who he was.
Me too.
Hello.
What's going on here?
Um.
Did she get in trouble again?
Jesus Christ, Gracie.
Oh, no, no, no. She, um...
I found some books
in the cafeteria
and I thought they were hers.
She might need them,
so I just dropped them by.
Yeah.
Uh-huh.
What did I tell you about
leaving your things around, huh?
This girl's
a g*dd*mn space cadet.
Oh, no, no,
I'm sure she didn't mean to.
Well, I have enough sh*t
to deal with as it is.
And if I don't go back
to work in 20 minutes,
my boss is going to can my a*s.
Have you seen that cash bag?
I swear to God, I left it
somewhere around this table.
Um...
- Get your a*s over here...
- Okay.
...and help me look for it.
This is
all your mess around here.
[Valerie groaning]
It's here.
This is what happens
when you leave your crap around,
all right?
- Clean it up.
- Is that really necessary?
Valerie: I'm sorry,
what are you still doing here?
Huh?
What, did I ask you to
make my daughter a sandwich
or for your advice
on how to raise my kid, huh?
No, I'll just be going.
Sorry for the intrusion.
Yeah, I bet.
When I get home,
this place better be spotless.
Okay.
[Valerie sighing]
Hey, if you need anything,
you just call me, okay?
- Okay.
- Okay.
Hey.
What is that?
Did your mother do that to you?
Don't say anything.
Please.
It'll just make it worse.
Valerie: Grace!
I gotta go.
- Whoo!
- Whoa, whoa, whoa.
Be careful with that thing.
I heard something.
In the bushes.
[bird cawing]
Oh, ain't that sweet.
Blow it out of the sky, Enos.
That's a prize mount
right there.
Up your a*s with a can of gas,
you old fart.
Arnie: Will you two stow it?
I got something.
Bear sh*t.
It's still fresh, too.
We got tracks over there
heading up to that ridge.
[tense music]
All right.
We'll follow the tracks.
You two, split up.
Flank to either side
of that ridge.
Yeah.
Let's box this sucker in.
Box him in.
All right.
I think I'm just gonna...
Yeah, I'll see you
on the other side, so let's...
[flies buzzing]
Sweet, bald baby Jesus,
that stinks.
[Enos panting]
- [leaves rustling]
- Huh?
- [footsteps]
- [twigs snapping]
Gus? Gus, that you?
[twigs snapping]
Oh, I see you, stupid beast.
[footsteps]
Oh! You think
you can outsmart me?
I'm the law out here,
you son of a...
[g*nsh*t]
[Enos groaning]
Gus:
Enos, where are you?
I think I hit it.
[tense music]
[Enos groaning]
[footsteps]
[Enos shuddering]
[♪]
[Enos groaning]
[muffled rock music playing]
♪ I am, I said ♪
♪ To no one else ♪
♪ And no one heard at all ♪
♪ Not even the chair ♪
♪ I have my pride ♪
[music stopping]
[Valerie sighing]
You're like a bad penny,
aren't you?
I just came to talk to you.
I don't
got nothing to say to you.
How the hell
did you get in here, anyway?
All the doors are locked.
Or is that your thing?
Barging into places
where you're not wanted?
Valerie, I'm not blind.
I see how hard you work
And what you're going through.
I-- I--
- Lady.
- Pam: I know how overwhelming
it can be at times.
Lady, I don't know what
you're jabbering on about,
but I don't need your pity.
I'm just saying
I know what it's like
to raise a child on your own.
My Jason was everything to me
and sometimes I...
I would lose my temper with him
and I'm not proud of it.
But the isolation
and-- and the frustration,
I know what that's like
But Grace is a good kid
and she's at a very delicate age
and you need
to be gentle with her.
Don't you dare
talk about my daughter
and don't act like you know me.
You and I got nothing in common.
You don't even know
how lucky you are, do you?
To have the privilege
of watching her grow up.
To see her make friends.
Fall in love.
I would give anything for that.
Anything.
Yeah, well, life sucks.
What are you gonna do?
Well...
to start,
you're gonna keep
your hands off of Grace.
What?
Who the hell
do you think you are?
My father used to hit me
and he thought that it
would make me obedient,
but it just pushed me away
and if you keep doing
what you're doing,
you're going to lose her.
- Get the f*ck out.
- She's a good and sweet kid.
- And she deserves--
- b*tch, I am not messing around.
She deserves better than you.
[tense music]
You listen to me.
My Gracie is tough as nails
thanks to me.
She can take on anything
this world throws her way
thanks to me.
Maybe if
you raised your kid right,
he'd still be alive.
Go back to your sad little
house, your sad little life
and stay the f*ck out of mine.
Or else I'll call the cops
and tell them that a crazy lady
broke into my restaurant
and started making threats
You're not gonna do that.
Valerie: Ooh.
What, you're gonna stop me?
- If I have to.
- If I have to.
[Valerie groaning]
I just wanted to talk!
And you had to be cruel!
All you people, you just push
and you push and you push
and you think nobody's
ever gonna push back!
But you're f*cking wrong!
I couldn't save my son,
but I can save her.
[Valerie groaning]
[oil sizzling]
[oil bubbling]
[fireworks crackling]
[♪]
["I Am... I said [Reprise]"
by Neil Diamond playing]
♪ Did you ever read
About a frog who dreamed ♪
♪ Of being a king ♪
♪ And then became one ♪
♪ Well except for the names
And a few other changes ♪
♪ If you talk about me ♪
♪ The story's the same one ♪
♪ But I got an emptiness
Deep inside ♪
♪ And I've tried
But it won't let me go ♪
♪ And I'm not a man
Who likes to swear ♪
♪ But I never cared
For the sound of being alone ♪
♪ I am, I said ♪
♪ To no one there ♪
[fire roaring]
♪ And no one heard at all ♪
♪ Not even the chair ♪
♪ I am, I cried ♪
♪ I am, said I ♪
[glass shattering]
♪ And I am lost
And I can't even say why ♪
♪ I am, I said ♪
♪ I am, I cried ♪
♪ I am ♪
[fire crackling]
[fire crackling continues]
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