Peanuts Movie, The (2015)

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Beethoven.

Linus, time to get up.

You don't want to be late for school.

Get up!

My blanket!

Hello?

Snow day? Snow day!

No school today!

Dreams do come true.

No school!

Franklin and Peppermint Patty are on my team!

I got my hockey stick!

I got my skates! Who has the pucks?

Looking sharp today, Pigpen. Sorry I'm late.

What's taking him so long?

Come on, Charlie Brown!

No. Not quite. That's the one!

I've got my kite! Today's the day. I can feel it!

A kite? Today? In the middle of winter?

Come on, guys! Only Charlie Brown.

A new kite, a perfect breeze. It all feels just right.

Now that the Kite-Eating Tree is sleeping for the winter we have nothing to fear.

Lift off!

Wait a minute. It's in the air. It's flying!

Hey, guys! Look! Look, I did it!

Hey, Charlie Brown. Still no luck, huh?

Remember, it's the courage to continue that counts!

Runaway kite!

Sorry!

No brakes!

And now, for my famous triple Axel.

Prepare to be amazed.

A quadruple! Bravo!

Stupid Kite-Eating Tree.

Good grief.

You blockhead! I should have known.

What kind of a person tries to fly a kite in the middle of winter?

Don't you ever know when to give up? You will never get that kite to fly.

Why? Because you're Charlie Brown!

Thanks, Linus. Listen, Charlie Brown.

Ignoring what my sister Lucy says has enabled me to make it this far in life.

What would I do without a good friend like you?

My Sweet Babboo!

Isn't he the cutest thing?

Careful, sir!

Watch the curls!

I don't care what Lucy says. I may have had troubles in the past flying a kite, and I may have never won a baseball game but it's not for the lack of trying.

My pitching has to improve if I come out here to my trusty mound every day.

Charlie Brown is not a quitter.

Bottom of the 9th. Two outs.

A strike-out here would make the pitcher an instant hero.

It all comes down to this one pitch.

Let's see if you can handle my fastball.

Ol' Number One. The Heater.

The Brown b*llet.

It's going to be a long winter.

Someone's moving in across the street from me?

Hey, g*ng, look! There's a new kid moving in!

Big brother, pull yourself together!

Come on, Charlie Brown. Get out of the way.

Hey, guys. What do you see? Who is it?

I think I see a piano! I hope he loves Beethoven!

Beethoven, Schmeethoven. Maybe he will appreciate my natural beauty.

Who cares about that? As long as he's a better goalie than Marcie.

You're hurting me, sir. I'm sorry, but it's true.

No, you're pulling on my hair!

I just hope he'll have an open mind about the Great Pumpkin.

I think they have a toaster!

I just hope this new kid has never heard of me.

He would know nothing of my past imperfections.

It's not often you get the opportunity to start over with a clean slate.

This time, things will be different.

He did it!

Snoopy... why is it that everything I try turns out wrong?

Sometimes I wonder if the kids really like me.

Maybe that new kid will see me for who I really am, like you.

A dog doesn't try to give advice or judge you.

They just love you for who you are.

It's nice to have someone that will just sit and listen to you.

Man's best friend.

You can't come to school, Snoopy. Now be a good dog and go home.

No dogs allowed!

I think I saw the new kid. Did you see that moving truck arrive?

Who do you suppose it will be?

The new kid is coming!

That's not the new kid. Hey, Charlie Brown.

Good morning, Linus. What do you have there?

It's my turn for show and tell today.

This is the same plane flown by Manfred von Richthofen.

Who? The Red Baron.

The most famous aviator during The Great w*r.

It's not real, is it?

My naturally curly hair!

Duck, Linus!

Yes, Miss Othmar.

Sir?

Sir.

Sir!

Two! No, three! Was I close?

Class hasn't started yet, sir.

What? The new kid is joining our class.

She doesn't look like a goalie to me. Wow! She's pretty.

She's not that pretty.

Linus.

She looked at me!

Not the yearly standardized test again!

Ma'am, will this test accurately reflect the knowledge we have gained here?

Is it fair we, at this young age...

Yes, ma'am.

Thanks.

Question 1. "If you had 6 red tomatoes and..."

Red.

Come on, focus.

First impressions are everything.

No dogs!

Already done? She must be smart.

It's got teeth marks.

She nibbles on her pencil like I do.

We have something in common!

One minute left?

Out of my way, Chuck!

Write our names? Yes, ma'am.

Chuck, are you trying to hold my hand?

You sly dog.

Hi, I'm Brown Charlie. I mean, "Barnie Clown." I mean...

What are you in for?

Have you ever had that feeling when you can't stop smiling?

Your heart pounds inside your chest?

You try to stand but your knees become weak?

And then that Little Red-Haired Girl glances at you.

And all of life's possibilities become so clear.

And then you realize... she has no idea you're alive.

Why am I here?

Because I just came down with a serious case of inadequacy.

Here she comes. This is my chance to make a good impression.

Maybe tomorrow.

It was a dark and stormy night.

High above the French countryside the World w*r I Flying Ace had never been so close... to his lifelong enemy... the infamous Red Baron.

The key is keeping a low profile.

For now, we just keep our distance.

Snoopy!

No!

That was a close one.

If I could only work up the nerve to go over there, I'd...

What are you looking at, big brother? Are you crazy?

You're in love!

Chapter 1. It was the greatest love story ever told.

Her name was Fifi.

She was the most beautiful thing he had ever seen.

I can't believe I'm about to talk to the Little Red-Haired Girl.

It's moments like this when you need your faithful friend.

Yep. If there's one person you want by your side at a moment like this... it's your loyal dog.

Hello? Hello?

She said, "Hello"!

Charlie Brown. What brings you out here so late in the day?

I need your advice on girls, Lucy.

You're a girl, right? Let's just say there's this girl I'd like to impress.

But she's something and I'm nothing.

If I were something and she was nothing, I could talk to her.

Or, if she was nothing and I was nothing, I could talk to her.

But she's something and I'm nothing, so I just can't talk to her.

You're being ridiculous, Charlie Brown. Why, you have much to offer.

She has a pretty face and pretty faces make me nervous.

Pretty face? Pretty face?

I have a pretty face! How come my face doesn't make you nervous?

How come you can talk to me, Charlie Brown?

I just need to know the secret to winning her heart.

Look into this mirror, Charlie Brown.

This is the face of failure. A classic failure face.

Do you think girls like failures, Charlie Brown?

Well, no. Girls want someone with proven success.

Have you won any awards? Like a Congressional Medal of Honor?

Or a Nobel Peace Prize?

What are your real estate holdings? Do you have a diversified portfolio?

Let me let you in on a little secret, Charlie Brown.

If you really want to impress girls, you need to show them you're a winner.

A winner? Me? Lucy, you may be on to something.

Of course, when I say "you," you know I don't mean you personally.

That will be five cents, please.

Nickels, nickels, nickels. What a beautiful sound.

"Congratulations. You're now on your way to becoming a winner."

"Step 1. Forget everything you ever knew about yourself."

Okay. "Step 2."

"Project confidence."

"Don't slouch."

"Maintain eye contact at all times."

Giddy-up, little pony!

What are you doing?

I'm going to be a rodeo star in the big talent show.

When I win that first-prize ribbon there will be no one who hasn't heard the name Sally Brown and her trusty horse, Broomstick!

Win the talent show. Now that's a great idea.

This is just what Lucy was talking about.

We're ready.

Look at that. Is that Charlie Brown?

She's here.

I have a really good feeling that tonight she will see the new Charlie Brown.

Charlie Brown? As your psychiatrist, I'm surprised to see you here.

A person with all your insecurities normally wouldn't enter a talent show.

I'm...

I ought to slug you!

I've been kissed by a dog! I have dog germs!

Get hot water! Get some disinfectant! Get some iodine!

Let's keep this thing moving. Time's a-wasting.

Thank you! Break a leg, Chuck!

Treat your assistant kindly, Charles.

Okay, Sally, we're running behind, so gallop, don't trot!

Save the applause for the end, everyone.

If you like this, wait for the encore!

Your sister is really dying out there.

Hey, that's not a real horse!

Sorry, Charlie Brown. This has gone on long enough.

Drop the curtain!

Don't do that. She said she has a big finish.

Well, it's either your act or hers. We can't hold forever.

Change of plans, Snoopy.

Big brother?

Rope me.

That's not a real cow.

I'm gonna get you!

Sorry, sir. Good one.

Oh, Schroeder...

You can run, little dogie, but you can't hide!

This is going great!

My name is Calamity Sally... the best bronc-busting, lasso-roping cowgirl in this here town!

Thanks, big brother.

"Moo"?

Well, nobody reads the school paper anyhow.

Look on the bright side, Charlie Brown.

They say there's no such thing as bad publicity.

You're right, Linus. She definitely knows who I am now.

You know, Charlie Brown, if you like her so much why not just walk up to her and introduce yourself?

After the complete fool I made out of myself last night?

Yeah, and why don't I just fly to the moon?

Oh, brother. She's talking to them?

So much for a fresh start.

Time is running out.

"Number 6." "Tell yourself, 'I am worthy. I can do this."

"'I have what it takes.'"

Hello?

Your girlfriend's on the phone.

Hello? Hey, Chuck. This is Peppermint Patty.

How have you been? Well, I...

Listen, I have some great news for you, Chuck.

The Winter Dance is in a few weeks and I'm saving a dance for you.

Anyway, Marcie put me in charge of the refreshment committee.

I took it upon myself and signed you up to make the cupcakes.

You did what? I can't cook cupcakes.

The only thing I do know how to make is toast.

Besides, why would I even want to go to the Winter Dance?

Toast and cupcakes! That sounds good, Chuck.

See you there. Hold on. I said...

Hello? Hello?

Rats.

Hey! What's going on?

Turn it down! Turn it down in there!

She likes to dance.

One, two, three, four.

One, two, three, four.

One, two, three, four.

One, two, three, four. One, two, three, four.

One, two, three, four.

I could really use a dance partner. Good luck with that.

One, two, three, four.

Okay, Snoopy, I got the basics down.

But if I'm going to win, I need to step it up.

I can see it now.

We have our winners!

Let us applaud them as they begin the traditional dance of the champions!

Snoopy!

Thanks for the help. I left some cookies in your dog dish.

One, two, three, four.

One, two...

You know, I've always wanted to dance with Pigpen.

Yuck!

Why isn't anyone dancing? It's called a dance.

Oh, Sweet Babboo! Oh, no, here she comes!

Someone needs to get this dance started.

No!

These cupcakes don't look half bad, if I do say so myself.

This time I've come totally prepared.

I couldn't have done it without you.

The old Charlie Brown would still be lying in bed with a stomachache.

Good grief.

Marcie, look! Everyone's here!

Let me help you with that, Marcie.

Such a gentleman, Charles.

She's here.

Okay, ladies. It's time for you to show off your best move.

Which one of you will win the first half of our dance competition and take home the trophy? Let them hear it!

Nice moves.

Listen to that noise! I think it's safe to say we know who our winner is! She won.

And now, it's the gentlemen's turn to see who will be joining our lovely winning lady for the final dance of the night.

I got to get out there. Are you guys ready?

Then here we go!

This is it.

It's now or never.

Check out the moves on that funny-looking kid with the big nose!

Yeah! All right!

Okay, just like you practiced. Remember the steps.

One, two, three, four.

One, two, three...

Charlie Brown? All right!

It looks like we may have a winner here!

It's going to happen. I'm about to dance with the Little Red-Haired Girl.

Let's get out of here!

Do I know you?

Wait! It's not over yet.

Thanks, buddy.

I hate to say it, Snoopy, it seems like the harder I try, the further away she gets.

The Flying Ace took to the skies.

He searched endlessly for the girl who had stolen his heart.

Daydreaming will not make her materialize, Charlie Brown. She's not here.

Daydreaming? Me? She'll be back on Monday.

I heard she went back east to take care of her grandmother, who isn't feeling well.

She seems like the kind of person who would do that sort of thing.

Not another book report!

Time to pick our partners.

No boys. No boys.

Please.

Patty! Yes! All right!

Nope.

Yes.

Schroeder!

There's no denying it. It was written in the cards.

The Little Red-Haired Girl. My lucky day!

This changes everything. She will see the new me.

And together we will win the gold star! After that, anything is possible!

We could be the first kids to land on the moon!

One small step for kids, one giant leap for Charlie Brown.

You've got to help me, Linus.

I'm not sure I can handle being partners with the Little Red-Haired Girl.

I need to slow things down. Maybe I'm not ready for a serious relationship.

How will I support her? I can't afford a mortgage.

What if I'm put into escrow? Charlie Brown, you're being ridiculous.

You're the only person I know who can turn a simple book report into a lifelong commitment.

I've never been responsible for anything before.

This could be the worst thing that's ever happened to her!

Linus, it just hit me. I think I know how to become her hero.

While she's away taking care of her grandmother, I could complete the book report for the two of us.

That's one way to go, but if you want my advice...

They're posting the test scores. Come on.

Look. Someone got a perfect score, sir.

You would have to be a genius to get a perfect score.

I didn't know that was even possible. Here he comes!

No one in the world has ever gotten 100 before.

A perfect score? Me?

This can't be right. No, Charlie Brown, look.

You really do have a perfect score.

I have heard peanut butter is brain food.

Nice job, Chuck, old boy. I always knew you had it in you, Charles.

This can't be right! Out of my way!

Mr. Perfect, Charlie Brown? It must be a typo!

I don't believe it. I won't believe it! I demand a recount!

Good afternoon, students and staff. We have a special announcement.

There will be an all-school assembly Monday morning to celebrate our illustrious classmate, Charlie Brown, who achieved a perfect score on the standardized test.

Make way. Genius coming through!

I have a science project due next week. Can you give me your thoughts?

Hey, I saw him first!

They say you're a genius. Can you read my mind?

Hey, leave him alone! Yeah, leave him alone!

Now, Charlie Brown, as far as the book report goes, what would you suggest?

Well, you can never go wrong if you stick with the classics.

A comic book? I thought classics had to have hard covers.

Boy, do we feel stupid now.

Will you look at this. What a contemporary piece.

Notice his use of space.

Have you all lost your minds?

You have what is referred to as an "irrational fear."

Hey, kid! What do you think you're doing?

Following in the footsteps of greatness.

Breakaway! sh**t it, Charlie Brown! sh**t it!

Nice use of angles there, Charles.

All right, Charlie Brown!

But how is Santa ever going to find our house without lights?

And this is where it all began.

As a youth, he passed many hours just sitting in that chair, keeping his deep thoughts to himself.

And here we have his early kites, used in many aerodynamic studies.

If we're lucky, we'll see him in his natural habitat.

And this is his actual bed where he lies and ponders life's greatest questions.

Hey! What are you doing? I'm cashing in on your celebrity.

Can I have your autograph?

And for show and tell today... my big brother!

I haven't seen you in a while. My whole life has changed, Linus.

All of a sudden, everyone wants to be my friend and yet, I haven't really changed.

Do they like me for who I am, or for who they think I am?

There he is! Charlie Brown, I need you on my chess team!

He's got no time for meaningless games. He's coming with me.

Roll sound!

Speed. And, action!

Do you have time to help me write my book report? It's due on Monday.

Monday? The report is due on Monday?

She's back on Monday! I haven't even started yet!

Does anyone know where Marcie is? She went skating with Peppermint Patty.

Mr. Brown. Mr. Brown! What about my exclusive?

Cut.

There's Huckleberry Finn...

Catcher in the Rye.

Sir, I've been sitting here for hours.

These are the greatest books of all time. Please just pick one!

Let me sleep on it, Marcie.

There's no time for sleeping, sir. It's due Monday.

Just my luck to get a partner that thinks Moby d*ck was a hockey player.

Marcie? Where are you going?

Hey, Chuck, old boy.

What brings you down here? I'm looking for Marcie.

I need some advice.

Curveball not working for you? Slap shot not strong enough?

No, I'm good with all that.

I need to talk to Marcie about finding the greatest book of all time.

I just might be able to help you there, Chuck.

Marcie just read up a long list of great novels.

Huckleberry-something, Catcher with a Pie.

But, she said the greatest book of all time is called Leo's Toy Store... by some old guy called Warren... Piece.

Leo's Toy Store. Yup. That's the one, Chuck.

Thanks for the tip. Love that hustle, Chuck!

Does anyone know where I can find Leo's Toy Store?

Leo's Toy Store.

Nope.

No. No. No.

Where is it?

He's going into the grown-up's section.

Is that legal?

Charles? I've never seen you in here before.

Marcie, thank goodness I found you.

Can you help me find a copy of Leo's Toy Store?

Did you say "Leo's Toy Store"?

Yeah. Peppermint Patty told me you said it was the greatest...

Stop right there, Charles. Come with me.

This is what you're looking for.

Leo Tolstoy's w*r and Peace.

Yikes. How long was this w*r?

Are you sure that is the book you want to read?

Might I remind you, Charles, you only have the weekend to complete your report.

I have to if I'm going to win that gold star.

I'm okay.

Big book. How are you gonna get it home, smarty-pants?

Pretty smart. What am I saying?

Good ol' Charlie Brown.

Now there's a guy who's going places.

Thanks.

Surprise!

Happy Birthday! Who invited him?

w*r and Peace. Page one.

"Eh bien, mon prince, so Genoa..."

Hey, Charlie Brown, come out and play!

Sorry, guys.

Who reads a book on the weekend? Okay. Where was I?

"Took a horse from a commander, and hungry and weary..."

"...and the musketry fire sounded far away..."

"Prince Andrei mused on the unimportance of greatness..."

"...unimportance of life, which no one could understand..."

"...there was yesterday, and there was the day before..."

Okay, show's over. Clear it out. Will there be a late show?

"And to recognize a dependence we do not feel."

"The end."

I did it.

It's all coming together now.

Okay. This is my book report about w*r and Peace.

1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9.

First there was w*r. Then there was peace.

10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17.

Only 983 words to go.

Rats!

This is no use. I'm just not as smart as they think I am.

I can't let her down.

There's still time. You can do this.

You can't give up on her now.

998, 999, 1000.

Finished.

Wake up, big brother!

Today's the big assembly to celebrate your perfect score. Come see!

What are you up to now?

Now that you're a big celebrity, we have to move fast.

I have shirts, hats, mugs, and more.

The fame that comes with intellectual superiority can be very fleeting.

You have to cash in while you can.

Today is going to be a big day for us, big brother.

Thank you. Come again soon.

This is all for you, Charlie Brown. You've really made it.

It's going to happen.

She's finally going to notice me for doing something great.

Charlie Brown.

I hate to admit it, you blockhead... but public opinion leads me to believe, that after all these years...

I may have been wrong about you.

This is not easy for me!

My whole world has turned upside-down!

Can I please have Charlie Brown come to the stage?

It is my pleasure to present to you today, this award for the highest achievement in this year's standardized testing.

But before I do, the school proclamation.

"On this day, whereas you have upheld the highest of academic standards.

"And whereas no one would have ever expected that of you."

"And whereas you are the first to ever receive a perfect score."

"Therefore, be it resolved that today is declared Charlie Brown Day."

"Signed, Miss Othmar."

That's my big brother!

How about that, Charlie Brown? You're the star of the school now!

Congratulations, Charles.

Let me present you with your perfect test.

Oh, no. I must have signed the wrong paper.

Before I begin, I'd like to thank all of you for your support.

You have all been so kind.

It's not often that I get this sort of recognition.

But... there's been a mistake.

This is not my test.

I knew it!

Therefore...

I cannot accept this honor.

Can a brother and sister get a divorce?

I think this belongs to Peppermint Patty. She's the real genius.

That was a very admirable thing you just did, Charlie Brown.

One moment I'm the hero, the next I'm the goat.

Maybe things will go your way again after you hand in your book report.

I'm not so sure.

I was up all night working on it and I can't remember a single word.

Surely it's not as bad as you think, Charlie Brown.

Let me see what you wrote.

Charlie Brown, the insight you bring to such a complex novel is beyond reproach.

You two are sure to win the gold star with a book report of this quality.

Book report? Were we supposed to do a book report?

Hi. In light of the fact that you were away, Charlie Brown took it upon himself to complete the report for the both of you.

And I must say, this is one of the finest bits of literary analysis I have ever read.

No, no, no!

Oh, good grief.

Maybe we can fix it?

Chapter 4. Curse you, Red Baron!

The Flying Ace set out across the hostile countryside undeterred.

Whenever I feel really alone, I just sit and stare into the night sky.

I've always thought that one of those stars was my star... and at moments like this, I know that my star will always be there for me.

Like a comforting voice saying, "Don't give up, kid."

The Flying Ace had to return to the aerodrome if he was ever to rescue Fifi.

Hey.

Christmas time is here Happiness and cheer

Yeah, Chuck, your crazy dog is over here again.

Excuse me, mister. Have you ever flown a kite?

Well, actually, let me just say that...

I have years of experience with kites, but I...

That's great!

Well, okay. The thing is, flying a kite isn't for everyone.

It takes a certain type of person. It can be frustrating at times.

They tend to have a mind of their own. But with determination and dedication, you can make it happen. Really?

Here. You hold the string. Plant your feet.

Weight forward. Knees bent. Back straight. Head up.

And remember, keep it simple.

Okay. When I say "go," run as fast as you can.

Which way, mister?

That way. Now, go!

I hope the little guy doesn't get discouraged, Snoopy.

He doesn't quite know how difficult this will be.

It may take him years to gain my level of experience.

It doesn't just happen over...

It's flying!

Thanks, mister. You sure know your kites.

Do you want to try?

You can do it! Don't give up!

Chapter 7. Never give up!

The Flying Ace knew this would be the last chance to save the love of his life.

The Flying Ace returned to the aerodrome with the love of his life.

He returned a hero.

"And so, as our hero observed,"

"he was destined to face the infamous Red Baron another day."

A dog that flies? This is the dumbest thing I have ever read!

I got dog germs!

Come on, Charlie Brown!

Today calls for something special. Here we go.

Hey, guys. It's the last day of school!

Well, big brother, can you believe it?

No more reading, writing, arithmetic. No more learning ever!

What are you talking about? This is just the start of summer vacation.

You have eight more years of grammar school.

Four more years of high school.

Eight... Plus four. Plus four more years of college.

Add the one to an extra four...

That's over 37 years of school!

I'll be bald and wrinkly by then.

Look at that!

Is that Snoopy?

Lucky.

Okay, everyone, listen up.

I know this is the last day of school...

But first, before we leave, we need to finish picking our partners for this year's summer pen-pal project.

When I draw a name, stand if you want to be their partner.

Here we go. The next name is... Pigpen!

I will. A little dirt never hurt anyone.

Schroeder. I do!

I mean, I will.

Charlie Brown.

I will.

She will?

Summer time!

Hi!

Charlie Brown, where have you been? It's the first day of summer.

You should be down there having fun with everyone else.

I can't stop thinking about it, Linus.

After all the humiliating disasters she witnessed this year, why would she choose me? Was she feeling sorry for me?

I don't want her to choose me just because she was feeling sorry for me.

I have slightly more dignity than that.

Charlie Brown, it might be time to consider the wild possibility... that you're a good person and that people like you.

But, you know, you'll never really know the answer, unless...

I just go up and talk to her! I should've listened to you all along!

Oh! "Charles." I mean, "Charlie Brown."

She's not here?

On her way to summer camp? So the bus hasn't left school yet?

But it's about to leave?

And, by the way, it was a pleasure to meet you, ma'am.

Charlie Brown!

You blockhead!

All right!

How do I get out of here?

The whole world seems to be conspiring against me.

I'm just asking for a little help for once in my life.

Get out of here! Not you, too!

Hey, look, it's Charlie Brown!

Charlie Brown is flying a kite?

Charlie Brown is flying a kite!

Chuck's got a kite in the air. Way to go, Charles!

Charlie Brown is really doing it! He's flying a kite!

Oh, hi, Charlie Brown.

You remembered my name? Of course I did.

Before you leave, there's something I really need to know.

Why, out of all the kids in our class... would you want to be partners with me?

That's easy.

Because I've seen the type of person you are.

An insecure, wishy-washy failure?

That's not who you are at all.

I like the compassion you showed for your sister at the talent show.

The honesty you had at the assembly.

And at the dance, you were brave, and funny.

And what you did for me... doing the book report while I was away, was so sweet of you.

So when I look at you, I don't see a failure at all.

You have all the qualities that I admire.

Sorry, I have to go now.

Wait.

I think this belongs to you.

Thank you. I've been looking everywhere for this!

I'll write to you, pen-pal.

Bye!

Is he okay?

It must feel pretty great being Charlie Brown right about now.

You did it.

Nice job, Chuck. Good job, Charles!

Hey, big brother!

I'm proud to be your little sister.

Out of my way!

I really need to tell you something, you blockhead.

You're still full of surprises.

Good ol' Charlie Brown!

Charlie Brown.

Oh, Charlie Brown. I'll hold the football and you kick it.

You say you'll hold it, but what you really mean is you'll pull it away, and I'll land on my back and I'll k*ll myself.

But I feel I have really come to know you.

I now understand that you are kind, compassionate, brave, and funny.

No one would pull a football away from a person with all those qualities.

She's right. I would never pull the ball away from someone with all those qualities.

I'm gonna kick this ball all the way to the moon.

And gullible. I forgot to mention "gullible."

A round of root beers for our hero, the Flying Ace!