[Jesse Frederick singing "Everywhere You Look"]
♪ Ah ah ah ♪
♪ Ahh ♪
♪ Whatever happened to predictability ♪
♪ The milkman the paper boy ♪
♪ Evenin' TV ♪
♪ Did I get to living here ♪
♪ Somebody tell me please ♪
♪ This whole world's confusing me ♪
♪ Clouds as mean as you've ever seen ♪
♪ Ain't a bird who knows your tune ♪
♪ Then a little voice inside you whispers ♪
♪ Kid don't sell your dreams so soon ♪
♪ Everywhere you look ♪ ♪ Everywhere you look ♪
♪ There's a heart ♪ ♪ There's a heart ♪
♪ A hand to hold on to ♪
♪ Everywhere you look ♪ ♪ Everywhere you look ♪
♪ There's a face ♪
♪ Of somebody who needs you ♪
♪ Everywhere you look ♪
♪ When you're lost out there ♪
♪ And you're all alone ♪
♪ A light is waitin' to carry you home ♪
♪ Everywhere you look ♪
♪ Everywhere you look ♪
♪ Doobie doo bah bah dah ♪
[instrumental music]
Samantha, I promise, this is gonna be the most romantic weekend of your life.
We'll have a little chateaubriand a little Dom Perignon.
Yes, and for dessert...an empty house.
You know the family's going away to Disneyland. Yeah.
Two points.
Well, they're leavin' in three minutes.
So, if you leave now, make all the lights you'll be here in four minutes and two minutes after that you and I'll be in each other's arms gazing into each other's eyes doing a little thing I like to call..
Uncle Jesse!
The hokey‐pokey.
Bye, Aunt Irene.
What is it, kid?
‐ I'm going to Disneyland! ‐ Alright!
Disneyland! Disneyland! Disneyland! Come on, everybody!
We're gonna be late for Disneyland!
Disneyland, Disneyland, Disneyland!
(Jesse) 'Stephanie! Hold it!'
‐ Yeah. ‐ Wait a minute.
Wait a minute. Wait a minute.
Alright, take a deep breath now, relax.
Inhale, exhale.
Very good. You okay?
‐ I'm fine. ‐ Good.
Disneyland, Disneyland, Disneyland!
Why aren't we at Disneyland?
Steph, Steph. Calm down.
Disneyland, Disneyland, Disneyland!
Let's go, let's go, let's go!
I think you need to switch the kid to decaf.
Steph, the plane won't leave any earlier just because we're the first ones on it.
If we're the first ones on, we'll be the first ones off and the first ones in line for the Matterhorn.
Matterhorn?
♪ Danny we gotta go hoohoo ♪
♪ Lelelele heehee ♪ D.J., tell me again how it's gonna be.
Well, Disneyland has the greatest rides.
While you're standing in line Mickey and Minnie Mouse come up and play with you.
No! Why are we yakking about?
We could be there! Come on, let's go.
Joey, open the door before she goes through it.
Yeah. Stephanie's right. Tinker Bell's awaiting.
Come on, everyone, skedaddle. Let's go.
Yeah. Let's skedaddle.
Right. Here we go. We're leaving. Everyone's‐‐ I'm going.
Jesse, you sure you don't wanna come along with us?
Are you kidding? No, no, no!
Who's gonna pick up the mail?
Who's gonna get the newspaper?
Who'll feed the dog?
Uh, Jess. We don't have a dog.
Well, just because it's not our dog doesn't mean we shouldn't feed him.
Uncle Jesse, I really wish you were coming along but if we don't leave soon, I'm gonna go bananas!
She's right. Any minute, bam. Bananas. Let's go. Everyone.
♪ Heigh‐ho heigh‐ho ♪
♪ La la la ♪
♪ La la la la ♪ They're going to Disneyland!
Yeah.
[instrumental music]
You know, it's amazing.
I mean, you've been playin' tennis all your life.
I just started today and I beat you three straight sets.
That's wild!
What are you smilin' about?
Nothing. I'm just smiling.
You're not just smiling.
That's a you let me win smile, isn't it?
Well..
Tell me you didn't let me win.
I didn't let you win.
Oh. She let me win.
Aww.
You tough guys are so cute.
[imitating Samantha] "You tough guys are so cute."
Oh, man, this is great. Listen, nothing.
Sam, did you realize that you and I've been going out a month and it's the first time we've been alone together.
I know. With me living at my folks' house.
Yeah, and me livin' at Pee‐Wee's Playhouse.
But tonight...you and I will play house.
Ah.
You know what? We're gonna celebrate.
We're gonna celebrate, I'm gonna make you the most romantic candlelight dinner you've ever had in your whole life.
Ooh. That sounds perfect.
So, what will it be?
Extra crispy or original recipe?
That's cute.
I'm gonna go take a shower and I'll be thinkin' about you.
Have mercy!
And if you hear me laughing it's 'cause I'm thinking of your backhand.
Look out!
♪ I'm just a loony love machine ♪
♪ And I won't work for no money but ♪
♪ Ooh babe ♪
♪ I'm a love machine ♪
♪ And I won't work for ♪
♪ I am just a love machine ♪
♪ I am just a love machine ♪ Too obvious.
♪ I am just that wacky crazy love machine ♪ Sammy, brought you some champagne.
'Jesse.'
Can't blame me for tryin'.
‐ 'Thank you.' ‐ Here you are.
If you excuse me, I'm going to slip into my evening attire now.
[laughing]
Okay, let's go.
Come on, Steph.
Missing Disneyland isn't the end of the world.
Hey, you know airplanes can't fly when it's foggy.
I hate fog.
Birds can fly in fog.
We should've taken a bird.
Steph, I promise, we'll go to Disneyland another time.
Yeah, it was Michelle's first time, too.
Look how well she's takin' it.
What does she know? She puts her food up her nose.
Steph, I'll tell you what.
I got a great idea.
We're gonna make tonight family fun night right here at home.
Hey, what could be more fun than that?
I'll tell you what. Something that's starts with a D. and ends with a land.
These disappointments are really tough on a 6‐year‐old.
I still can't believe we missed "Captain EO."
♪ I am just an LM ♪
♪ And I won't work for nobody but you ♪
♪ Baby ♪
♪ I'm just a love.. ♪
[humming]
Steph, what do you wanna do tonight?
Mope.
I'll drop off the kid.
I'll let Jesse know we're back.
Jesse, we got fogged in. We're back.
What did you say, Jess?
Hey, Jess.
You wear these clothes every time we leave the house?
Have mercy.
‐ You're not Jesse. ‐ Neither are you.
I'm Samantha.
I'm me.
Uh, Danny.
That's, uh, short for Daniel.
It's long for Dan.
Look, maybe I should just get dressed.
Oh, no, no. Not in there. Your clothes would get wet.
Excuse me.
Door used to be over there.
I'm really sorry. Imagine my surprise.
Imagine if you came in and saw me in the shower.
Then you'd really be sorry. Trust me.
Oh, uh, there's, there's shampoo and conditioner in there and there's some Woolite on the shelf in case you want to soak a fine washable.
Thank you.
Phew!
Jesse!
(Danny) 'Jesse!'
Oh, no. It couldn't be.
Could it?
Wow! Look at all the food.
Oh, yum.
Steph, this is great.
Let's take a trip to Dinnerland.
[imitates carnival music]
Oh, it's Dinnerland.
There's lots of fun here.
Oh, I love it here at Dinnerland.
Oh, shrimp.
Oh, yum, yum, yum.
[belching]
♪ I am just a love ♪ Ah.
‐ Hey, Jess. How's it goin'? ‐ Hi, Uncle Jesse.
Let go of my shrimp! Put down my sh..
Why aren't you guys at Disneyland?
Fog, fog, fog.
I hate fog.
Jesse, I‐I just met your friend upstairs.
She's very...clean.
Okay, sure hope we didn't ruin your weekend, Jess.
Oh, no. Why would you think that?
Just because I've been waiting a month to be with Sam.
I've waited five and a half years to go to Disneyland.
I hate fog.
I really hate fog.
[instrumental music]
[instrumental music]
Okay! Are we ready for family fun night?
‐ Yeah! ‐ Alright!
Hot dog.
Hot dog.
I know, let's sing your favorite one from school.
I got it all planned. Here we go. Jesse, you play the guitar.
D.J., you play the tambourine.
Jess, do you know
"If you're happy and you know it, clap your hands?"
Oh, yeah, that was on Motley Crue's first Christmas album, right?
On three. Everybody! One, two, three!
♪ If you're happy and you know it clap your hands ♪
♪ If you're happy and you know it clap your hands ♪ Take it, Steph!
♪ If you're happy and you know it ♪
♪ Then your smile will surely show it ♪
♪ If you're happy and you know it clap your hands ♪ Yay! Wasn't that festive?
Next verse, on three! One, two, three!
♪ If you're happy and you know it stomp your feet ♪ Everybody.
♪ If you're happy and you know it stomp your feet ♪
[imitating Popeye] ♪ If you're happy and you know it ♪
♪ Then your smile will surely shows it ♪
♪ If you're happy and you know it ♪ Hey. Stomp your feet, would ya? A‐gah‐gah‐gah‐gah!
Do you guys have this much fun every night?
Yeah, it's hard to believe, isn't it?
Steph, are we having a good time?
It's no Country Bear Jamboree.
Honey, if you don't think about...you know where it'll be a lot easier.
I know! We'll sing "Row Row Row Your Boat."
We'll do it as a round. It'll be great!
Dad, that's dopey.
Dopey! Don't say that!
Honey, look, it's been a long day.
I know, you're‐you're tired, you're worn‐out, you're grumpy.
‐ Grumpy! ‐ Sorry.
What I meant was you're probably very slee..
Exhausted.
You were gonna say sleepy.
Thanks for trying, but family fun night's just not any fun.
Guess that kinda puts a damper on Simon Says.
I'll go talk to her.
Here.
Here. Take your kid.
Thanks.
[clears throat]
Why don't we go into the kitchen so that, uh..
(Joey) 'So that Jesse doesn't have to make that face.'
Yeah.
Can you believe it, sport? We're finally alone.
You know, your family's terrific.
I had a great time tonight.
Yeah, but we could've had a really great time tonight.
Well, let's do it tomorrow night.
I know this terrific bed and breakfast place in the Napa Valley.
That sounds so..
...so frustrating.
I promised I'd babysit the munchkin tomorrow night.
Well, another time.
Hey, they've gotta get that little girl to Disneyland some day.
I'm gonna miss you tonight.
What are you doin' here?
Here. Here's five bucks. Go catch a movie.
Steph, how you doin'?
I've been better.
I know how you feel.
No, you don't. You've been to Disneyland.
Yeah, but I know what's it like not to get what you want.
Remember when I was supposed to do that Oat Boats cereal commercial and you got it instead?
Uh‐huh.
Well, what did I do? Did I mope?
No. You chased me around the kitchen and tried to k*ll me.
Okay. Bad example.
Well, there's only one sure way to make you smile.
The tickle monster!
It's not working.
Then how come you're laughing?
I'm not. This is sad laughing.
Steph, I'm so glad to see you happy.
That didn't count.
Tickle monster made me laugh.
Stephanie, you have every reason to be sad and I completely understand.
Thank you.
Look, Steph, I want you to really think about this.
You're not always gonna get your own way.
While you're spending all this time being sad about missing out on one thing you're missing out on a lot of other fun things.
Like our family sing‐along.
That wasn't so much fun.
It wasn't fun for you because you didn't want it to be fun.
I had fun.
And D. J. had fun. Right, Deej?
Ah, it was okay.
Fun. Big fun.
So, it's up to you. Either you can feel sorry for yourself.
Or you can feel bad for a little while and then shake it off and move on to the next fun thing.
But I think I know what you're gonna do because you like to smile too much.
‐ Right? ‐ I guess so.
Steph, I know something fun we can do right now.
What?
Well, it has to do with dad and a certain monster.
‐ Uh‐oh. ‐ "Uh‐oh" is right.
Here comes the tickle monster! Tickle, tickle, tickle!
♪ If you're happy and you know it clap your hands ♪
♪ If you're happy and you know it clap your hands ♪
♪ Go over there and leave me alone ♪
♪ Comb your hair right over there ♪ Come on, stop it! I can't take it.
♪ Clap your hands ♪
♪ If you're happy and you know it clap your hands ♪
Hey, Jess, what's going on?
I don't know.
Joey, every time I come in this room, it seems like there's more pink bunnies on the wall.
Well, you know how rabbits are.
Joey, sit down a second.
Sure.
Joseph, can I talk to you man to...no, man to you?
Sure, buddy.
Hey, you look a little down.
Look, I'm sorry if we wrecked your night with Samantha.
No, it's not just Samantha, it's..
Joseph, be honest with me.
Doesn't living here get to you sometimes?
‐ No. ‐ Never?
Never. I love it.
You mean to tell me, you love changing diapers making school lunches, chasing the girls all around town changing diapers, helping them with their homework picking up their toys, did I mention changing diapers?
Some of those tasks are more rewarding than others.
Alright, why?
Why, Joey, why are you happy here?
Well, Jess, I think it's because when I was growing up I didn't have brothers and sisters.
And I like being part of a big family.
I like having people to care about, that includes you.
Thank you.
And besides, this is the only place I've ever lived that always has ice cream in the freezer.
Pass.
Joey, though..
Don't you ever ask yourself, what am I doin'?
I mean, I used to be this freewheelin' livin' on the edge, no strings kinda guy.
And now..
Now, it seems like I'm‐I'm married or somethin'.
I mean, I have all the responsibilities and hassles of three kids, yet I can't even deduct them from my taxes.
Well, technically you could if you married Danny.
Joey, do you realize every night I sleep here, I sleep alone?
Want to get bunk beds?
No, I don't..
Joey, I'm pouring my heart out here to you and you're making jokes.
I know. I'm sorry. Alright, talk to me.
I..
I don't know, I..
I guess it's this whole situation it's just gettin' to me.
I mean, I have zero privacy.
I‐I‐I try to write my music and I have all these distractions.
I‐I write music, I write it out‐out of my own life experiences, you know?
My last three songs have been about changing diapers the measles and tub toys.
I thought that tub toy song was very danceable.
I just feel I have things to accomplish in my life, you know?
I mean, there's things that I wanna do and there's things I wanna experience, and..
I don't know, but maybe..
Maybe livin' here is holding me back.
I don't know what the hell's happened to my life, pal.
But I gotta regain control of it.
Hey, Jess, look at the bright side.
If you hadn't moved in here we'd never be as close as we are.
I know.
Hey...sleep on it.
'Hey.'
Thank you, my friend.
(Samantha) 'Jesse?'
Samantha?
Jesse?
Sammy, what are you doin' here?
I just wanted to see you.
Yeah, you shouldn't be in here. Everybody's home.
Uncle Jesse, will you help me with my homework?
D.J., it's the middle of night.
But the closer I study to my test, the less I forget.
Uncle Jesse, will you give me a piggyback ride?
Uncle Jesse doesn't wanna give you a piggyback ride.
Yes, he does.
No, he doesn't.
Yes, he does.
No, he doesn't.
Yes, he does.
Uncle Jesse, change my diaper.
You can't talk!
And you're not allowed to have girls here.
Girls, you gotta go. Come on. Everyone.
Off to bed. Let's go. Come on.
Oh, good, guys, okay, great. Take over for me.
It's your turn.
You're their uncle.
We could be so happy.
Everybody out. Everybody go.
Come on, let's go! Everyone, go, go, go.
Hold it. You, you can stay.
(D.J.) Uncle Jesse?
Help me with my homework.
I want a piggyback ride.
(Joey) Jesse?
It's your turn.
You're their uncle.
We could be so happy.
Change me.
Feed me.
Change me. Feed me.
'Feed me.'
Change me! Feed me! Change me! Feed me!
Feed me! Change me! Feed me.
Oh, my God. There's two Michelles.
They're multiplying!
Change me! Feed me!
‐ You're their uncle. ‐ Your turn.
‐ Help me with my homework. ‐ You're their uncle.
‐ Your turn. ‐ So happy.
No!
I want a piggyback ride.
Help me with my homework.
It's your turn.
You're their uncle.
We could be so happy.
‐ Change me! ‐ Feed me!
Change me! Feed me!
You're their uncle.
[screaming]
Oh! I can't take it anymore.
I gotta get out of this house.
[instrumental music]
Jess, wake up! Rise and shine!
Come on, let's go! Get up!
"Guys, I didn't wanna wake anybody up
"so I left this note.
"I need to get away for a while.
"I don't know where I'm going. I don't know when I'll be back.
"Or even if I will be back.
"I don't think it's working out for me here.
"I'll call soon. Tell the girls I love them.
"Jesse."
[dramatic music]
Jesse ran away from home?
I'm hungry.
Where's Uncle Jesse?
[theme music]