04x13 - B & B's B 'N' B

[bunniefuu]

[The Matthews' kitchen. Amy is mooching around in the fridge; Eric and Alan come down the stairs; Eric is carrying a duffel bag and a suitcase]

AMY: Guys, get a move on, Eric's going to miss his flight!

ALAN: Eric, you're going to Boston for the camping show, now I don't want to hear from any of the suppliers that you missed meetings because you were at the hotel bar dancing on tables.

ERIC: [opened-mouthed in feigned shock] Father, if you'd even suggest that I'd blow off the camping trip to go party hardy in Boston, that speaks volumes about our relationship!

[Cory enters carrying a book]

CORY: Eric, you forgot your book.

ERIC: What book?

CORY: [holds the book up] Uh, 'How to Act Innocent When Your Father Catches You'.

[Eric squirms guiltily]

ALAN: [pointedly] Eric.

ERIC: Guess I'd better read it again. [gives a broad, fake smile and takes a lunch bag from Amy] Bye, Mom.

AMY: Bye, Honey. [kisses Eric on the cheek]

CORY: [to Eric] Bye!

[Eric and Alan leave; Mr Feeny suddenly rushes into the kitchen through the back door looking flustered]

MR FEENY: Amy, Cory, hi. [fumbling with the door] Is there a lock on this thing??

[Before Mr Feeny can do anything, Shawn appears at the door and enters the kitchen]

SHAWN: [cheerfully] Hey!

MR FEENY: [dryly] Too late.

SHAWN: I tried! I tried, I tried, I tried, I tried! I don't get the assignment. I want to drop Economics! Business, figures, numbers - I just can't keep it in my head. Woohoo! [demonstrates things falling out of his head]

MR FEENY: Shawn, it's simple. Come up with a business plan, pretend you're running it, and write a report!

SHAWN: [understanding] Ohhh! Now I— Woohoo! [demonstrates things falling out of his head] See? Oh c'mon, let me drop the course. No Hunter has ever made it in business. Why cause me agony? Why?

MR FEENY: [thinks] I like it. [gestures to the kitchen table] Shawn, sit down, it's quiet time.

[Shawn sits at the kitchen table next to Cory; Mr Feeny approaches Amy and gives her a set of keys] Amy, these are my house keys. I really appreciate you looking after things while I'm away this weekend.

AMY: Oh sure, George. Now is there a number at the hotel in case we need to reach you?

MR FEENY: Actually I'm staying at a lovely bed and breakfast.

CORY: Good for you! Living in someone else's house, eating someone else's food. [looks distastefully at Shawn, who is messily eating a banana and drinking apple juice from the Matthews' fridge]

SHAWN: So what's the rent like - two bucks?

AMY: Actually, Shawn, a room in a nice bed and breakfast can go for as high as two hundred dollars a night. Right, George?

MR FEENY: Not this one.

SHAWN: [to Cory] Two hundred dollars a night? Wow.

MR FEENY: [to Amy] I have made a list of things that need to be done. Plants to water, and uh, plants that will need vitamins, and plants that need to be rotated to get the morning sun. Oh you'll do fine. [kisses Amy on the cheek] Thank you! [leaves through the back door]

AMY: [looks down at the lists Mr Feeny gave her, and glances at Cory and Shawn; she throws the lists and keys onto the kitchen table and looks at Cory and Shawn pointedly] Just don't k*ll them.


---

[Mr Feeny's house. Cory is watering plants, while Shawn is wandering around examining everything]

CORY: Shawn, what're you doing? It's just a house!

SHAWN: No no no no, this is Feeny's house. There's got to be - I don't know, some shrunken heads [peers into a vase] some eyeballs in jars; voodoo dolls.

CORY: Now why would he have stuff like that?

SHAWN: Well he took them from me last year. [suddenly grins broadly] Ok, I'm gonna go jump on Feeny's bed just like I've always dreamed of.

CORY: Ok. [laughs as Shawn runs up the stairs, then spots some sheets of paper and a pen on a table and grins with glee] Oh! My history paper! And a red pen! Feeny, you fool! [reads, frowning] 'Cory, you fool, put down the paper and step away from my walnut credenza.' [looks freaked and tosses the paper back onto the table]

[Shawn suddenly screams from upstairs]

CORY: [alarmed] Shawn?!

SHAWN: [appearing at the top of the stairs, smiling] It's ok, it's ok! I thought I saw a poster of me, but it's just a mirror. [walks down to Cory] Cory, this is like nothing you've ever dreamed of.

CORY: What?

SHAWN: Ok, he's got three bedrooms, beautifully decorated, but here's the best - Feeny's got a six foot round tub!

CORY: Well, the man's gotta bathe.

SHAWN: With jets.

CORY: Oh! Kooky!

SHAWN: [looking shrewd] Y'know, I may have an idea for my economics project. I'm gonna go get started.

CORY: Well good for you.

[Shawn leaves, and Cory, frowning, waters a plant]

CORY: I don't wanna be alone in here! [runs out still holding the watering can]


---

[The hotel Eric is staying at in Boston. Eric, looking smart, is at the bar talking to a good-looking barmaid]

ERIC: Hi.

BARMAID: Hi.

ERIC: [smoothly] My name's Dylan Hightower, I'm the CEO of a mid-sized venture capital group. You might look for me on the cover of next month's 'For-bees', it'll look something like this. [poses]

BARMAID: [laughs] You're just out of high school, you work for your daddy, this is your first convention, it's pronounced 'Forbes', and what's your real name?

ERIC: [pouts] I'm not telling you!

BARMAID: Well, what're you drinkin', Mystery Boy?

ERIC: Er, brewski!

BARMAID: Root brewski?

ERIC: If... that's all you can give me, sure.

BARMAID: It sure is. [pours his drink] But, I will do this. [slides the glass down the bar]

ERIC: Cool!

[Eric misses it, and it slides all the way down the bar, only to be caught by...]

MR FEENY: I believe you're supposed to catch the glass, Mr Matthews.

ERIC: [horror-struck] Oh no! [reluctantly gets out of his seat and goes to Mr Feeny] Mr Feeny! Hey! What a... remarkable and horrifying coincidence. [picks up his root beer]

MR FEENY: Horrifying indeed. What are you doing in Beantown?

ERIC: Hiding from you, and I failed, why must you stalk me so?

MR FEENY: Sorry to burst your balloon, Buster, but I'm waiting for somebody else.

ERIC: ...Cory?

MR FEENY: No, not Cory!

[The barmaid hands Mr Feeny a napkin]

MR FEENY: [to the barmaid] Cabernet?

[The barmaid nods and moves away]

MR FEENY: [to Eric] I'm waiting for a special lady-friend of mine to have dinner in the hotel.

ERIC: [slyly] Ohh! Mr Feeny, I didn't know you had somebody special in Boston.

MR FEENY: Well that's because I've never mentioned her to you before, Eric.

ERIC: And why not?

MR FEENY: For the same reason that you don't talk about your girlfriends to me.

ERIC: It's... squeemy?

MR FEENY: Precisely. [pauses] But now that you've asked—

ERIC: Uh, I didn't.

MR FEENY: Elizabeth is someone I've know for... [thinks] ...ooh, fifteen years. Someone I care about, deeply. But, she lives and works in Boston, and her teaching career is as important to her as mine is to me.

ERIC: A female Feeny... gyai! So, how often do you guys see each other?

MR FEENY: Three or four times a year. Every so often, one of us asks the other to give it all up... move, so that we can be together.

ERIC: But you never took her up on it?

MR FEENY: Nor she me, no. The asking and saying no is becoming a bittersweet ritual between us. This year is my turn to pop the question.

ERIC: [grins] What if she says yes?

MR FEENY: [chuckles] She won't. She'll just smile at me over her glass of merlot, and ask, 'Can we just keep things as they are?' And I'll squeeze her hand gently and say, 'If that's what you truly want.' ...and then I'll go home.

ERIC: To me and Cory!

MR FEENY: ...You're k*lling my story.


---

[Mr Feeny's house. Cory is watering plants when Shawn comes down the stairs dressed smartly and carrying a clipboard]

CORY: [smiling, surprised] Shawn! What're you doing at Feeny's house without me?

SHAWN: Actually I'm here to work on my school project. You proud?

CORY: [becoming unnerved] Why here?

SHAWN: I don't have an answer that wouldn't upset you. Can you rotate these plants, just a little?

CORY: No no no. What's your school project, Shawn? No, don't tell me! Yes, tell me! [thinks] Tell me - but lie!

[Shawn says nothing and hands Cory the clipboard; Cory reads]

CORY: A bed and breakfast! [pleased] Ok! [pats Shawn on the shoulder] Ok, nothing to worry about here! [continues to read] Mm hmm... uh huh... two hundred bucks a night... Oh! Look at this, you're even advertising.

SHAWN: Yeah! Yeah, just a little sign up at the airport near duty free.

CORY: [proudly] Thorough, Shawn! Incredibly thorough! [turns to the next page] Well look at this! You've even got guests checked in [pulls a credit card out] got their credit cards, given them names! [reads the credit card] The Timmers! Huh, kinda cute.

[An elderly couple come down the stairs; Cory jumps out of his seat]

CORY: Who are yoouu?

MRS TIMMER: [kindly in a Dutch accent] Ve are the Timmers!

CORY: [stares at the credit card] Of course you are! It says so right here on - on your credit card. The Timmers...

MRS TIMMER: Yah!

SHAWN: He's gonna scream now.

CORY: SHHHHHHAAAAWWWWWWWNNNNN!!!!!!


---

[Still at Mr Feeny's house where the last scene left off]

CORY: [turns to Shawn] AHHH!!

SHAWN: [quickly] Feeny left the keys to his house. He knows this is going to happen; he wants this to happen.

CORY: [flapping his arms around] AHHHHH!!!

SHAWN: [rationally] Cory, if you're going to stay at my bed and breakfast, I'm gonna have to ask you to keep your voice down - the Moorparks are upstairs napping.

CORY: [quietly] AHH! [bites his knuckles]

SHAWN: [smiling] Newlyweds - they're here on the honeymoon package.

[Cory suddenly notices that Mr Timmer has picked up an expensive-looking vase]

CORY: [alarmed] Hey, put that down!

MRS TIMMER: [kindly] Ve are the Timmers!

[Cory stares at Shawn]

SHAWN: Cory, they're Dutch - please, allow me. [turns to the Timmers] Werp het in de lucht en zie for yourself hoe licht het is! [Translation: 'Throw it in the air and see for yourself how light it is!']

[The Timmers giggle and laugh as Mr Timmer throws the vase in the air; Cory watches on in horror; the Timmer's wander over to the other side of the room, looking at Mr Feeny's ornaments]

CORY: Shawn! [grabs Shawn by the shoulders] The Moorparks and the Timmers - that's it, right?

SHAWN: Yeah, yeah. That's it.

CORY: [relieved] Ok.

[The front door swings open and another elderly couple enter carrying suitcases]

LADY: Hi! We're here!

SHAWN: [pleased] Ohh, the Hecks! Arnie and Gloria, from Bunka! [to Cory, explaining] Well they booked through the last minute club.

ARNIE: Gloria! I said I wanted to stay in a Ritz-Carlton! The bed and breakfast, it's a little foofy, no?

GLORIA: I wanna pick something! I wanna pick ONE time! And I like it! It's got - charm. You understand charm?

[Shawn is watching on, grinning; Cory is hopping around, horrified]

ARNIE: I understand no mini bar! I understand no macadamias!

SHAWN: [to Cory] Offer a few bucks to the cabbies, that way they tell 'em the hotels are full and bring 'em right here!

CORY: [to the room] OUT!!!! OUUUTTTTTT!! I WANT YOU ALL OUUUUTTT!

[Everyone stares at Cory]

SHAWN: [to the guests] This is our bellhop, he's rude and obnoxious.

ARNIE: I like him! [to Cory] Here, boychik. [hands Cory one of Mr Feeny's vases] Put this in my room.

GLORIA: [to Cory and Shawn] So, where's the good shopping?

SHAWN: Well, why don't we ask our concierge?

CORY: Concierge?!?

[Shawn rings a bell and Topanga emerges from upstairs in a smart outfit]

CORY: No! Not you, Topanga! How could someone as sweet and honest as you get mixed up in one of Shawn's EVIL SCHEMES?

TOPANGA: [smiling] Because of this. [to the guests] Why don't I show you to your suite, and then we can map out your day?

ARNIE: Here [hands Topanga some money] Buy yourself some heels!

TOPANGA: [smiles at Arnie, then shrugs at Cory] It's a living.

[Topanga takes the Hecks' suitcases and leads them upstairs; Arnie picks up a random ornament, hands it to Cory, and points upstairs]

CORY: [rounding on Shawn] You will get caught!

SHAWN: We will get caught.

CORY: I said no 'we', I said 'you', I said NO 'we'!

SHAWN: [smugly] You had the key, you let me in. As far as Feeny's concerned - you're the brains.

CORY: The brains? [thinks] Hm, I rather like that. Ok, [puts the ornament back where it came from] promise me that when Feeny gets back, he finds his house exactly as he left it. Ok?

SHAWN: You have my word.

CORY: Good.

MRS TIMMER: [to Shawn] Is dit punt voor verkoop? [Translation: Is this item for sale?]

SHAWN: Ja! In feite, alles u bent ziet voor verkoop! [Translation: Yes! In fact, everything you see is for sale!]

MRS TIMMER: Dank u, dank u! [Translation: Thank you, thank you!]


---

[Hotel in Boston. Eric is still at the bar sipping root beer; Feeny has left to meet with Elizabeth]

BARMAID: So that's really sweet of you to wait up for your... what is he exactly?

ERIC: Oh, Mr Feeny? He's my next-door neighbour. And he used to be my teacher. And he's real concerned about where my life is going... What would you call that?

BARMAID: I'd call that a friend.

ERIC: Yeah? Feeny? Friend? [frowns] ...'K. [sips his drink]

BARMAID: [laughs] So listen, I get off work in ten minutes and uh, you seem real nice. How about I buy you dinner?

ERIC: [grins] Well, as long as it wouldn't interfere with my loyalty to my friend.

[Mr Feeny wanders into the bar alone]

BARMAID: [spotting him] Hey, isn't that him now?

ERIC: [doesn't turn to look] Yeah, it would have to be because something good was about to happen in my life.

BARMAID: [grins] Something really good.

[Eric gets flustered, but the barmaid notices Feeny sitting on his own]

BARMAID: He seems troubled.

ERIC: [looks at him and falters] Yeah but... see it's my first convention away from home, and... dinner with the lady bartender would be... [looks back at Mr Feeny and sobs] Oh, I hate everything.

[The barmaid leans across the bar and kisses Eric on the cheek; Eric takes his drink over to Mr Feeny's table and sits with him]

MR FEENY: [looking pleasantly surprised] Hello, Eric.

ERIC: Are you all right?

MR FEENY: You know, every year I look forward to seeing her, and every year we part company. Knowing that we care for each other, but... not quite enough to give up the lives we've made, and find comfortable.

ERIC: [pleased] She said yes! You popped the question and she said yes! She said yes and you're stuck good!

MR FEENY: No, she said no. We always say no. Why do we always say no?

ERIC: Because you don't really love each other.

MR FEENY: How would you know that, Mr Matthews?

ERIC: Because if you truly loved each other you'd risk everything for that love... even the lives you've made and find comfortable.

MR FEENY: I just wonder if at this stage in my life, my risk-taking days are over. Or perhaps I never appreciated the value of taking a risk... and that's why I've missed the chance of true love.

ERIC: Yeah, I felt that same way when I broke up with Debbie. Remember that?

MR FEENY: No.

ERIC: Eh, I'm still here plugging away because I believe that true love can come at any time. [sips his root beer]

MR FEENY: Well until then I will continue my life of teaching my students.

ERIC: [smiles] You've got more than your students, Mr Feeny. You got your friends.

MR FEENY: [smiles] Eric, if you hadn't had your dinner yet, I thought that we might grab a bowl of pasta on the north end.

ERIC: Ooh, I don't know, Mr Feeny. I mean it's my first night in Boston, I was thinking uh, something a little riskier. We could go out... hit the town... check out the action.

MR FEENY: You mean, cruise for chicks?

ERIC: And their mothers. [grins]

[Both stand to leave]

ERIC: Y'know, Mr Feeny, I don't understand this friendship.

MR FEENY: Oh neither do I.


---

[Mr Feeny's house. The B&B; guests and Topanga are stood singing around a piano in the living room. Cory is dressed in a tuxedo and happily playing the piano]

ALL: [singing] By the light of the silvery moon...

MR HENK: Silvery moon!

ALL: I want to spoon...

MR HENK: Wanna spoon, wanna spoon!

ALL:To my love I'll croon... To my honey I'll croon love's tune... Honeymoon, honeymoon! Keep a-shinin' in June... Shinin' in June! [the guests dance together behind Cory] Your silv'ry beams will bring love's dreams... We'll be cuddlin' soon, by the silvery moon!

[Everyone applauds and the guests put money in a jar for Cory on top of the piano]

CORY: Oh thank you, thank you! Remember - drive safely!

[Shawn appears at the top of the stairs]

SHAWN: News from the honeymoon suite - the Moorparks have eaten!

[Everyone cheers and applauds; Shawn comes downstairs]

TOPANGA: [to Mrs Henk] Don't forget - tomorrow morning, sunrise nature walk, wear comfortable shoes.

MRS HENK: [smiles] Goodnight!

MR HENK: [to Topanga] Chocolate mint?

TOPANGA: Right on your pillow.

MR HENK: [to Cory] She your girl?

CORY: Sure is.

MR HENK: Mr Lucky!

CORY: [smiling] I know.

MRS TIMMER: [to Cory] Zierhut gespielt. [Guessed translation: something about how he played well]

CORY: Good night!

MRS TIMMER: [to everyone] Guten abend! [Translation: Good evening!]

[The guests go upstairs to bed; Cory counts the money in his tip jar]

CORY: [to Shawn] Wow, forty-two dollars and fifty cents - now we can afford that public defender.

[Shawn stares at Cory sceptically]

CORY: I cannot do time!

SHAWN: We are not getting caught. We have grown as schemers. You always thought that you would rub off on me, but instead I have corrupted you. You're as shady as I am now, you have to deal with it.

CORY: Wrong, Shawn! Ok? The Universe will catch up with us. I trust the universe. [looks up to the ceiling]

SHAWN: Yeah well, the universe had better hurry up because they're all leaving tomorrow. [smugly] All we have to do is make it through breakfast, and we didn't get caught.

CORY: [flustered] W-we have to get caught at breakfast! They're all leaving after breakfast, we gotta get caught at breakfast! [looks up accusingly at the universe] You hear me?

SHAWN: Wait a minute. Are we feeding them at breakfast?

CORY: There it is! [pleased]


---

[The Matthews' kitchen. Alan, Amy and Cory are settling down to pancakes for breakfast. Just as Alan reaches over to put one of the pancakes on his plate, Cory slaps his hand away]

CORY: I think it's only fitting that we bow our heads and give thanks for the food in front of us.

[Alan and Amy look suspicious, but they bow their heads]

CORY: Lower.

[They lower their heads further]

CORY: [throwing the pancakes out to Shawn, who is standing out in the back garden catching the pancakes and putting them on a plate] We say thanks for this wonderful meal we have in front of us - Amen.

[Shawn takes the pancakes next door to Mr Feeny's]


---

[Mr Feeny's house. The guests are sitting in the living room ready to leave; Shawn is watching over them when Cory comes down the stairs]

CORY: Ok, we did it! The upstairs is in a shambles and every dish Feeny owns is in the sink. Now we get caught and I am at peace, because without punishment, my world loses both form and meaning.

SHAWN: You were one of those kids that enjoyed getting spanked, weren't you?

CORY: ...I always deserved it.

[Mrs Henk comes down stairs wearing marigolds and holding a bucket of cleaning things and a feather duster]

MRS HENK: You boys made us feel so welcome that we all tidied up after ourselves!

CORY: What?!

MRS HENK: And Nona did all of the dishes.

MRS TIMMER: Ve are the Timmers!

[The guests disappear into the kitchen]

CORY: [horrified, looks up and at the universe] Don't you know it's us?!

SHAWN: [grinning] Well forget it, Cory, the universe cares jack about us.

CORY: [pacing] I'm uncomfortable with this. I don't feel right! I mean in the old days we'd be standing here, patting ourselves on the back, and your eyes would roll towards the door—

[Shawn looks at the door]

CORY: Like that, because the door knob would be turning—

[The door knob turns]

CORY: Like that, and the door would open and Feeny would be standing there.

[The door opens and Feeny is standing there]

CORY: AHH!!!

MR FEENY: Ah, the Mssrs. Matthews and Hunter.

CORY: [blissful] The universe still cares about us!

SHAWN: [sighs unhappily] Yes it does.

MR FEENY: [hovering in the doorway] Blast. My overnight bag, it's still in the cab. I'll be right back! [closes the front door and heads back to the cab]

SHAWN: Wait wait wait, we can still pull it off! All we have to do is get our guests checked out in the next fifteen seconds!

CORY: No, not gonna. It is over, it is our time, I am at peace.

[The guests emerge from the kitchen]

MRS HENK: Arnie, if we don't leave in the next five seconds, we are gonna miss our flight and then we'll have to take a connection over Dallas!

MR HENK: Dallas. Like I need Dallas right now. [to Mrs Timmer] Uh, splitten ze taxi?

MRS TIMMER: Yah! Yah!

SHAWN: [to the guests] Ok ok, thanks for staying with us! I've got your deposits and I'll be holding your rooms for Christmas.

CORY: [to Shawn] See they're going out the front door, Feeny's at the front door, it's over, over now, I'm goin' towards a white light.

MR HENK: Let's go out the back door, I wanna take that bench with me.

[The guests leave through the back door exactly as Mr Feeny enters through the front door]

MR FEENY: That was close!

SHAWN: [ecstatic] Well! Well here she is, Mr Feeny! Your house! [Cory and Shawn back up nervously towards the back door] How's she look? Does she look the same?

CORY: [whispers to Shawn] Here it comes...

SHAWN: Hang in there, buddy.

MR FEENY: [inspecting the living room] Well the credenza is nicely polished. Plants look well-sunned.

CORY: [Cory notices a statue on the mantelpiece is missing; his face lights up] Look, the statue! The Hecks k*lled us! Good!

SHAWN: What?!

CORY: Arnie took Feeny's statue!

MR FEENY: Very nice. [spots the missing statue] Wait a minute. Where's my statue?

CORY: I CONFESS! All is right with the world!

[Mr Heck appears beside Cory and places the statue in Cory's hand, then goes out the back door again unnoticed by Mr Feeny]

CORY: Oh that's just not possible.

SHAWN: [takes the statue from Cory and pretends to be cleaning it] Right here, Mr Feeny, just giving it a quick polish.

[Cory is looking increduclous]

MR FEENY: I must say, you boys have done a terrific job.

SHAWN: [to Cory] Just say thank you and walk towards the door]

CORY: Thank you and walk towards the door...

[Shawn drags Cory to the front door]

MR FEENY: How much money did you actually make?

[Cory and Shawn turn - Shawn's face falls; Cory looks elated and marches up to Mr Feeny and shakes his hand]

CORY: Thank you! Thank you! [looks up to the universe] I knew you still cared about me!

SHAWN: [grinning] Ok, so how'd you get us? Sign at the airport? Run into a Dutch person? I gotta know.

MR FEENY: Actually it was the cab driver. I gave him my address, he said he knew the place very well, and I should get the room with the jacuzzi.

SHAWN: Ohhh, the cab driver! I forgot to deport the cab driver.

CORY: So I guess you want the money back.

MR FEENY: I think it would be appropriate.

SHAWN: [hands Feeny a wad of money] So how much trouble am I in?

MR FEENY: [flicking through the money] Woah! Oh, the usual, Mr Hunter.

SHAWN: That's it??

MR FEENY: Well, you took a risk. I happen to have a soft spot right now for risk-takers.

CORY: [whispers to Shawn] Take another risk and ask for the money back.

SHAWN: Can I have the money back?

MR FEENY: Yes, you can. When you're in college.

SHAWN: [raises an eyebrow] College?

MR FEENY: Well you've already proved to yourself that you have a future in business. That and a college education - you'll do fine. [pats Shawn on the shoulder]

SHAWN: [to Cory] You hear that? I'm gonna be ok in this world. [pleased] I don't have to be a criminal.

CORY: And the universe is a better town for that.


---

[Mr Feeny's house - upstairs. Mr Feeny knocks on a door several times to no response]

MR FEENY: Look, I know you're the honeymoon couple. And I appreciate the fact that you've paid for two nights, but I really must insist that you vacate my bedroom immediately. Check out time is now!

[Topanga suddenly appears from behind in a maid's outfit and holding a feather duster. She quickly retreats]

MR FEENY: [oblivious] Now listen, it's not that I can't identify with two young people in love. i was young once! I know that when love comes you must seize it, lest it slip away through the sands of time. I was young once!

[The door opens and out comes a very elderly couple, holding hands]

MR FEENY: [smiles, surprised