06x02 - Her Answer (Part 2)

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Opening Credits

[sh*t from the chapel from His Answer, Cory has a freaked out look on his face]

Ben Savage: (Voiceover, as Cory) In case you didn’t see last week’s Boy Meets World, here’s why I have this look on my face.

[sh*t from the chapel from His Answer, Cory’s face is normal. NOTE: Only the first line is a flashback, the rest is a new scene]

Judge Bemis: And do you, Topanga, take Cory to be your husband? To honor and cherish him, for rich or for poorer, in sickness and in health, till death do you part? (Cory’s face changes to looking freaked out)

Topanga: I… I…

Cory: (Whispering) Do.

Topanga: I…

Cory: (Quietly) We got “I,” we’re looking for “do.”

Topanga: I… this is just the strangest thing.

Cory: (Embarrassed, to Judge Bemis) Excuse me… (Pulls Topanga aside) Topanga, listen, you can do this. Okay, I did it. I was a real man about it. Now don’t leave me up here in my wedding dress.

Topanga: Let me try this again.

Cory: Okay. (They go stand in front of Judge Bemis)

Judge Bemis: Now we’re cooking with gas!

Topanga: I…

Cory & Foofie: Do… (Judge Bemis joins) Do…

Topanga: Can’t. I can’t.

Cory: Oh, you hate to see that!

Topanga: I’m so sorry, Cory. I’m so sorry, Judge Bemis, Foofie. (Hands her bouquet, exits)

Cory: (To Judge Bemis) You know what’s funny?

Judge Bemis: What’s that, son?

Cory: She asked me.

[SCENE – Cory’s car on the highway. Cory is driving, with Topanga riding shotgun]

Cory: (Sarcastically) Boy, I am so sorry my family missed that.

Topanga: (Meekly) I’m sorry, Cory.

Cory: Wow.

Topanga: I don’t know what to say.

Cory: “Do”! Y’know, “Do”? It’s the first half of your favorite word: don’t.

Topanga: I don’t like your tone.

Cory: (Laughing) You don’t like my… I drive a thousand miles to marry her and she don’t like my tone. That is really rich.

Topanga: I want my family to be at my wedding. I want your family to be there. Cory, I wanna wear a wedding dress! A white, lacy wedding dress!

Cory: Of course white. The way we’re going, bright white. Snow white. Whiter than the white-hot light of a thousand burning suns!

Topanga: How long are you gonna be mad at me?

Cory: Ten minutes.

[SCENE – Matthews’ kitchen. Alan and Amy, now dressed in robes, are still just waiting around, only now they’re alone. Amy is at the table, Alan is a drink from the fridge]

Amy: We raised Cory carefully. We teach him everything we know. We do the best we can. And then we disagree over one thing and all of a sudden, he’s gone.

Alan: (Sits next to Amy) He’s not gone. He’s a good kid. He would never get married without us.

Amy: Are you sure?

Alan: Absolutely not. (Amy sighs, leaning backwards) But what the heck. (Pats her belly) We’re having another one, aren’t we? (Kisses her) Hm?

Amy: (To her unborn child) I’m giving you the next eighteen years of my life, don’t you ever do anything without mom.

Alan: He won’t. And neither will I. So, come one, let’s all go to bed. Okay? (Amy stands, still upset) Come on, it’s quarter after three! Only creeps and weirdoes are up now!

(Enter Eric)

Eric: How ya doin’?

Amy: You were thinking about your brother, weren’t you?

Eric: (Sarcastically) Yeah, I gotta a six-foot-tall Wonder Woman sleeping in the room next to me, I was thinking about my brother though, yeah. (Grabs a drink from the fridge)

Alan: What’re you doing here?

Eric: Well, I couldn’t sleep, if you know my current sitiation. And there’s nothing on TV. (Sits) So… Hey, wait a second. What are you guys doing up? The only people up now are creeps and weirdoes.

(Enter Shawn)

Shawn: How ya doin’?

Amy: Shawn, what’re you doing here?

Shawn: Eighteen years I’m his best friend. (Open fridge) I raise his right, teach him everything I know… (Grabs a drink, closes fridge)

Amy: Yeah? I thought you wanted them to get married.

Shawn: Yeah, but not without me. I was supposed to be the best man.

Eric: Hey! Wait a second, I’m supposed to be the best man! Maybe that’s why they eloped, they couldn’t choose between us.

Shawn: (Looks at Eric judgingly) No, Eric. No. They eloped because your parents tried to tell them what to do. (Sits) So they drove up to some Justice of the Peace up north, at least that’s what he said on the machine.

Alan: You heard from him? He really did get married?

Amy: (Hits Alan with dish towel) “He’s a good kid. He’ll never get married without us”?! I am keeping my knees together and this one is never getting out!

Shawn: Can I crash on your guy’s couch? I don’t wanna be up this late with all the creeps and weirdoes.

(Enter Feeny)

Feeny: (Solemnly) How ya doin’? (Walks towards fridge) I couldn’t sleep!

Alan: Why not?

Feeny: (Opens fridge, grabs a drink, walks back towards door) Well! You got all the lights on… everybody’s yelling… Eric parked his car in my garden.

Eric: (Stands) So, what the hell do you care? You’re moving. Yeah, go ahead, Feeny, retire. Take care of yourself, it’s what you’re best at.

Amy: The man has given the last forty years of his life teaching people.

Eric: Don’t care. k*ll his flowers. k*ll ‘em.

Feeny: (Pats Eric’s shoulder) Eric, when someone you care for makes a considered decision to change his life, then those who do care should offer their support, and respect his decision.

Eric: (Weepy) Aw, Feeny, you had me at “Eric,” man. Come here. (Hugs him)

Alan: You’re right, George. We should accept what they’ve done and do something to show our support. I mean, after all, we’re talking about Cory and Topanga, here.

Feeny: Cory and Topanga? I was talking about a going away party for me.

Eric: (Frustrated) You’re going away? You’re still going away? Oh, for the love of Mike, stop with the minds games, man!

Feeny: (Grabs Eric’s arm and shows him to the rest of the room like he’s disciplining a child) Y’know, this is the reason I can’t sell my house! (Exits in a huff)

[SCENE – Cory’s car on the highway. Same setup at before. Topanga moves the rearview mirror so it is facing her]

Cory: (Sternly) Put the mirror back.

Topanga: Jeez, sorry, I’ll put it back just like you had it. (Does so) There.

Cory: (Double takes at the mirror) Great, now I can see if there are any cars coming up my crotch!

Topanga: Stop snapping at me!

Cory: We ran out together, and you know what we did? Nothin’. Our big dramatic moment, and you know what we did? Nothin’!

Topanga: I DON’T CARE ABOUT A BIG DRAMATIC MOMENT, CORY! (Cory is petrified) It’s not right to run off together because we think we have something to prove. When we get married, I wanna have a big cake. I want doves.

Cory: (Thinks) No doves. (Topanga looks at him longingly) You were right. We did the right thing. Marriage should be a celebration, not a secret.

Topanga: Thank you.

Cory: You owe me the rest of your life, you know.

Topanga: (Smiles) It’s yours. (Rubs his hair)

[SCENE – Jack, Eric, and Rachel’s apartment in the morning. Rachel is making breakfast when Eric and Jack enter from the bedrooms, still in their boxers and t-shirts with serious bed-head. They see Rachel, see themselves, then run back into the bedrooms and reemerge all-too-quickly fully dressed, albeit a bit sloppily]

Eric: Hey, Rachel, what’s up?

Jack: Rach-el, how ya doing? (Flips sleeve around his neck casually) What smells so good?

Rachel: I am making you two French toast. But, I’m not gonna do it every day, so get spoiled, okay?

Eric: (Laughs) Okay… (Pulls Jack aside) Jack-Jack-Jackie-Jack-Jack… Live a healthy life, eat all your vegetables, honor your father and your mother, and heaven will reward you with a hot-hot-hotty-hot-hotty-hotty-hot-hot for a roommate.

Rachel: I need to tell you two something. (Walks over)

Eric: (Turns to face her) Don’t leave, we’ll do anything.

Rachel: When I met you I was in really bad shape. (Sits on stool) But you two, you took me in and you rescued me. I just want you to know how grateful I am to you. I’m so lucky, you guys are my heroes. Thank you so much. (Kisses Eric’s cheek)

Eric: Thank you. (Rachel goes to kiss Jack’s cheek, but Eric pulls her away and kisses her cheek instead)

Rachel: Thanks.

Jack: We’re the ones that are lucky. (Kisses her cheek)

Rachel: (Bashfully) Oh… (Everyone is laughing)

Eric: Come here, you! (Hugs Rachel, then Jack hugs Rachel)

Rachel: (They all stop laughing in a sigh) Excuse me… (Walks away)

Eric: Okay…

Rachel: (Stops) Oh, by the way, by the way. I promise I’m not gonna be a bathroom hog, but I really do like to start the morning with a bubble bath. Between all the aroma therapy beads and all the bubbles and… it’s just my favorite part of the day. Is that okay?

Jack: Yeah.

Eric: I demand you take bubble baths.

Rachel: (Crosses are skeptically) Really, why?

Eric: “Why?” Jack?

Jack: Well, um, y’know, if you didn’t take bubble baths that means you’re not comfortable…

Eric: Comfortable.

Jack: Living with us.

Eric: (With Jack’s last line) Here, with us.

Jack: We just want you to be yourself.

Eric: With bubbles.

Rachel: Oh, you guys. (Starts towards bathroom) Y’know, I am this close to being glad that my boyfriend actually left me.

Jack & Eric: No! (Rachel exits)

Jack: Oh, man. That girl is taking a bubble bath in the bathtub of our bathroom. We’re geniuses.

Eric: (Turns to Jack) Dude! Don’t know if this is the right time to say it… I love you, man.

Jack: Dude, don’t even, man, I’m the one that loves you!

Eric: Dude?

Jack: Dude! (They hug happily)

Rachel: (From bathroom) Oh, boys, y’know what? I can’t figure out how to work the stopper in the bathtub. Can one of you please come show me.

(Eric punches Jack, then tries to run to the bathroom. Jack grabs him and flips him onto the couch. Eric grabs Jack’s leg as Jack tries to get away. In the end, they both fall on the floor)

[SCENE – Matthews’ backyard. Cory & Topanga enter]

Topanga: Cory, wait. I’m scared. I don’t want your parents to be mad at me, I love them.

Cory: Well, they are gonna be mad. Topanga, in fact, if I know anything, they’re gonna be furious.

(Cory enter the kitchen, followed by Topanga. A banner hangs over the door in the back reading: “Congratulations newlyweds”. Alan, Amy, Morgan, Shawn, Angela, Eric, Jack, and Feeny all enter from that door simultaneously]

All: (Except Cory & Topanga) Congratulations!

Alan: So proud of you! (Hugs Topanga)

Amy: Congratulations, it’s really great. (Hugs Cory, who’s scared stiff)

Morgan: (To Topanga) I’ve always felt like you were a sister to me. Now you really are. (Hugs her)

Eric: (Holding a bowl of cheese balls) Cory, you’ve gotta try these cheese balls, man. (Offers bowl) They are, like, insane they’re so good.

Topanga: (To Cory, confused) What’s happening?

Cory: They think we’re married.

Shawn: (Approaches holding drinks) Oh, you guys look exactly the same. (Gives Cory a drink) What’d I tell you, Cor? You were always married. (Puts his arm around him) Doesn’t take a piece of paper to change what always was.

Cory: Shawn, I gotta tell you something.

Shawn: Oh, and I wanna hear all about it. (Laughs) But not in front of your parents, okay? (Walks away)

Alan: (Taps pitcher with a spoon) Okay, everybody, listen up, please. I just wanna say that I am the luckiest man in the world. I have one beautiful wife (kisses Amy), a lovely daughter (kisses Morgan’s head), and one wonderful son! (Points to Cory)

Eric: (Angrily) HEY!!

Alan: (Laughing, pointing to Eric) Hey! And, uh, and now I have yet another lovely daughter. (Kisses Topanga’s cheek)

Cory: (To Topanga, quietly) I think we should tell him.

Topanga: Not now, he’s talking about me.

Alan: To Cory and Topanga. (Raises glass) All the best. We love you.

All: (Except Cory, Topanga, and Alan) (Raises glasses) Cory and Topanga! Yeah! Whoo!

Feeny: Well, well, well…

Cory: No, Mr. Feeny…

Feeny: (Interrupting) No, it’s my turn, Mr. Matthews. You have done quite enough tonight, now, haven’t you? (Eric, Shawn, and Angela laugh suggestively)

Feeny: For forty years I have taught young men and women. I have seen countless love struck children. But I have never see the love, the loyalty, and the fun that I have seen in you two. My friends, my dears. (Raises glass) Cory and Topanga.

Alan: Here here!

Angela: Cory and Topanga! (The rest of the room cheers various things)

Amy: Well, it’s the mother’s turn, and I do wanna say something. I have watched these two grow up, (turns to Alan) boy have I, (turns back to Cory & Topanga) and here they are now. Adults. Just fresh out of high school. Don’t know anything about the world at all… (Turns to Alan) I’m sorry, I can’t do this. This is a mistake. And I do not support it. (Turns to Topanga) Why couldn’t you have just gone to Yale?

Eric: (Raises glass happily) Here here!

[SCENE – Matthews’ kitchen, continued from earlier]

Topanga: I should go.

Cory: No, Topanga, you’re not leaving your own wedding reception.

Topanga: (To Amy) I’m sorry for any pain I’ve caused. (Exits)

Cory: Topanga! (To Amy) How could you say that to her?

Amy: I’m sorry…

Cory: No, you’re sorry, so for fifteen years you’ve been lying to me?!

Amy: No!

Cory: No? You’ve been lying to me about how you feel about us, and to me about how you feel about her. (Points to door)

Amy: I want what I believe is best for you, Cory! And to…

Cory: (Interrupting) What’s best for us, mom, is for you to trust us!! I love her, alright?! I will always love her! And you know something else, we didn’t get married! Because she wanted you to be there! (Exits)

[SCENE – Jack, Eric, and Rachel’s apartment. Jack is wrapping a gift when Eric enters]

Eric: Who’s the present for?

Jack: No one.

Eric: You bought a present for Rachel, didn’t you? (Takes gift)

Jack: No, I didn’t!

Eric: Oh, it’s a book!

Jack: (Gently takes it back) So she has something to read in the bathtub.

Eric: Do you know something? That’s cold. You’re trying to get her to like you more than she likes me, that is cold, man! (Walks just outside the door and grabs something) How about all that stuff before about all “Dude, I love you!” All that stuff, it’s just plain cold! (Reenters with a giant gift-wrapped cage)

Jack: Oh, and uh, what’s that, slime-wipe? (points to Eric’s gift)

Eric: (Shrugs) Some kind of bird, for Rachel. (Laughs cruelly) Ha, ha, ha, your present’s stupid!

(Enter Rachel from bedrooms)

Rachel: Hey, guys.

Jack: Oh, hey Rachel.

Eric: Hey, I bought you this bird! (Pulls gift-wrap covering off the bird cage) It reminded me of you because it had bright red feathers and it eats like a bird.

Rachel: You bought be a present?

Jack: Oh, and I got you this book. (Presents book to her) Um, which I’ve read and I thought maybe you’d like it.

Rachel: (Reads cover) Keats, how did you know he was my favorite poet?

Eric: (Steps closer) I told him. (Rachel sighs, looking worried, then exits into the bedrooms) (To Jack) What just happened?

Jack: Something bad.

Eric: (Bird squawks) Can we eat this?

[SCENE – Matthews’ kitchen. Alan sits at the table while Amy pours coffee]

Amy: Too young to even think about marriage.

Alan: I understand that you don’t want our little boy to make a mistake, but he’s not a little boy anymore.

Amy: (Sits) Please, I still lay out his clothes! And what she wants to do…

Alan: (Interrupting) Topanga.

Amy: Right. What she wants to…

Alan: (Interrupting) Topanga. Use her name.

Amy: Right. What Topanga wants to do is…

Alan: (Finishing her sentence) Lay his clothes out for him.

Amy: What?

Alan: Take care of him. Be there for him. Amy, do you think that this would bother you as much if this was some girl who couldn’t take care of him as well as you have? Do you really think that Topanga isn’t right for him?

Amy: It isn’t about that, they are too young. He’s not ready. (Suddenly weepy) I’m not ready… Yes, she’s right for Cory. She loves him. (Alan nods) Yes, she’ll take care of him. (Long Pause) And he’ll be happy. (Long pause, almost cries) Oh, God… I’m jealous of her.

Alan: (Chuckles, hugs her) Oh, honey. (Rubs her back) Hey, we still have Eric.

Amy: Oh, God…

[SCENE – Jack, Eric, and Rachel’s apartment. Jack and Eric are waiting anxiously]

Jack: She’s been in there a really long time.

Eric: I know. You don’t think that she, like… (Mimics someone hanging them self)

Jack: Nah, she’s too tall for that. (Sits on couch) We’re freaks, man. She just comes off a bad relationship, she’s vulnerable…

Eric: Yeah, both of us are going after her like she’s some kind of cheese ravioli. (Sits)

Jack: Yep, when she really needs a couple of friends.

Eric: I’m telling you, Jack, we better make it safe for her around here before it’s too late.

(Enter Rachel dragging a huge, heavy suitcase)

Jack: (Stand with Eric) Oh, no, it’s too late!

Eric: We’re not letting you go!

Rachel: What?

Jack: We know why you think you have to leave.

Rachel: (Grunts, drops suitcase) Why do I have to leave?

Eric: Because of the extreme sexual tension that we have created in this, here, your new habitat.

Rachel: Oh, yeah, you feel it, too, huh?

Jack: (Eric makes “little bit” gesture) Yes, and we realize that if we have any chance of keeping you here we need to stop thinking of you as a…

Eric: (Finishing Jack’s sentence) Puff pastry on a plate.

Jack: And more like a…

Eric: (Finishing Jack’s sentence, a bit more dejected) Person…

Jack: We won’t chase after you, compete for you, we’ll be what you really need… (He & Eric show her to sit)

Eric: Roommates and friends.

Rachel: And that’s it?

Eric: That’s it. So, what do you think?

Jack: Come on, will you stay?

Rachel: Stay, I was never moving out.

Eric & Jack: Yeah! (High-five, then they grab her suitcase, but she starts talking an they stop)

Rachel: (Stands) Y’know, I love my book. (Awkwardly) And my bird, too. (Eric & Jack drop the suitcase) You guys treat me better than my boyfriend ever did. And I think that started to scare me. I just realized that I could easily fall for either one of you. And then I thought, “Well, so what if I do? Because I can deal with that.”

Jack: (He and Eric look upset) Oh no!

Eric: (Raspy) We guessed wrong.

Rachel: No! No, no, no, no, you didn’t! ‘Cause we have to keep this strictly plutonic. No matter what I’m feeling inside.

Eric: (Stuttering) Well, uh, well then, what, ehh… What’s in the suitcase then, Rach?

Rachel: Just some mementos from my old boyfriend. I was on the way to the incinerator to burn them. So, (grabs suitcase) I guess when I get back, we’ll start our new relationship. (Pause) Thanks, guys. You really saved me from myself. (Walks to door) Y’know, you two are the most sensitive, caring men I have ever met. Thanks. (Exits)

Eric: (Oven timer dings) The bird’s ready. (Goes over to oven, opens it, waves smoke away)

[SCENE – the Park. Cory and Topanga are leaning against the monkey bars, talking. Alan & Amy approach]

Topanga: (To Cory) I should leave.

Cory: You don’t need to leave.

Amy: Topanga? Um, could you come over here, talk to me for a minute? (Points to bench)

Topanga: (Steps to bench, with Amy) I don’t want you to be mad at me.

Amy: I’m not mad at you. (Sits with Topanga)

[Cut to Cory & Alan]

Alan: Why don’t we let them have a little talk?

Cory: (Anxiously) Because I’m afraid m

om’s gonna k*ll Topanga and bury her in the sandbox![Cut back to Amy & Topanga]

Amy: It’s very hard for a mother to think that another woman is gonna take her place with her little boy.

Topanga: I could never take your place. I just love your little boy, Mrs. Matthews.

Amy: Amy. Use my name.

Topanga: (Unsure) Amy… (Smiles, faintly giggles)

Amy: And if there is gonna be another person to take my place, I want it to be you.

Topanga: (Smiles) Thank you.

[Cut to Cory & Alan, who are now on the swings]

Alan: Y’know, I’m really proud of you, Cory. You stood up for what you believed in and you made your own decision.

Cory: Yeah, but I mean, Topanga was right. It would’ve been wrong to get married just because you said we shouldn’t.

Alan: I raised a good man.

Cory: You callin’ me a man?

Alan: (Stands imposingly) Yeah! You wanna get off that swing and do something about it?

Cory: Yeah, I do. (Stands, they hug, then join Amy & Topanga, standing over the bench)

Amy: (To Cory & Topanga) We came down here to tell you guys that we well always be here for you, no matter what you decide.

Alan: And the one thing we don’t ever wanna do is make you feel afraid to come to us with any important decisions.

Cory: Well, we have made a decision. (Topanga nods) In fact, I think we’ve made the most important decision of our lives.

Amy: We love you both. And now that there’s gonna be a wedding, you’re gonna need this. (Presents a ring, Topanga is awed) This was my mother’s engagement ring. And I would be honored if you would wear it.

Topanga: (Still awed) Amy…

Amy: I want it to stay in the family. (Begins putting it on Topanga’s finger)

Cory: (Stopping Amy, take ring) Hold it. Remember me? Cory? Don’t I get to do anything? (To Topanga) No, no, no, no, no! (To Amy) I don’t get to propose, I don’t get to put the ring on her hand, I don’t get to do nothin’!

Alan: Welcome to marriage.

Amy: Oh, Cory, you have a lot to do. A whole wedding to plan.

Topanga: Actually, no we don’t.

Amy: What? You said no to her, what is the matter with you?! (begins hitting Cory)

Cory: (Recoils) Ow, ow, I told you! We made a decision, y’know, we made it together.

Topanga: We listened to our friends and we listened to our families, but we made it on our own.

Alan: So, what did you decide?

Cory: I’m gonna tell you, but there’s something I have to do, first. (Circles around to Topanga’s other side) Topanga, come here. (She stands, he takes her hand) We’ve been together our entire lives. And you know that I love you more than anything in the world. Will you marry me? (Presents ring)

Topanga: Yes, Cory. Yes I will. (Cory puts the ring on her finger, they kiss)

Alan: Alright, already! When’s the wedding?

Cory: That’s what we decided. We’re gonna get married when we’re ready. And when we’re ready, you’ll be the first to know. (Amy nods, Topanga looks up to Cory happily, who looks back down at her admiringly)

[TAG – Matthews’ kitchen. The “Congratulations Newlyweds” sign has been changed to read “Congratulations Feeny”. It is Feeny’s going-away party. Alan, Amy, Cory, Shawn, Eric, Topanga, Feeny, Angela, Morgan, and Jack are there]

Alan: So, have a great time in Jacksonhole. Here’s to your retirement, George. Here here! (Raises glass)

All: (Except Feeny) Here here! (Raises glasses)

Feeny: Thank you, Alan. I’ll miss you all.

Eric: Well, I guess it’s time for Feeny’s favorite student to make a speech, huh? (Steps forward) For forty years I have watched you educate young men and women. (Turns to Amy) Boy, have I! (Chuckles uncomfortably) I’m sorry, I can’t do this. This is a mistake and I DO NOT SUPPORT IT! (Points at Feeny angrily) (To Topanga, points) Why couldn’t you have just gone to Yale? (Topanga looks stunned) (Exits, almost crying) (Alan rushes behind him, shutting and locking the door)