06x09 - Poetic License: An Ode to Holden Caulfield

[bunniefuu]

[Mr Feeny's classroom. Cory, Topanga and Shawn are seated amongst other students; Mr Feeny is handing out papers]

MR FEENY: Now, this next poem is quite special. The manner in which the poet expresses emotions is truly eloquent. The piece is entitled 'An Unpublished Manuscript For J.D. Salinger'. [smiles]

CORY: [leans over to Shawn and whispers] Nappy time.

MR FEENY: [reads] 'It is possible to assassinate my heroes with the scope of my individualism. However, by their own persistence to themselves, I believe that they have chosen me to pursue a self. What is literature but the illumination of that which I would write? Salinger speaks through me; to me; whispers, 'Where to, little boy?' My answer is the dogged pen to page which lights consistently the pathway home. It is on that road that I alone can trip my way back to myself.'

[Everyone stares, enraptured; Mr Feeny lets the silence ride for a while]

CORY: [yelling impatiently] COME ONNNN!

MR FEENY: Would you care to analyse this poem, Mr Matthews?

CORY: [uninterested] Yeah, I'll take a s*ab. [stands up]

MR FEENY: s*ab away.

CORY: You call that poetry?! FEH! And all right already with this J.D. Salinger thing. I mean hello? Name-dropping? And haven't we had just about enough of Catcher in the Rye? I mean, what's he written lately?! AM I RIGHT?! [confidently punches the air]

[Everyone else stares at him; Cory sits down timidly]

MR FEENY: Well on that note, we will have to pick this up at our next session.

[Students start to pick up their things and leave; Shawn stays sitting, looking sombre]

ANGELA: Cory, you're nuts. That poem was so incredible. [quietly] It was beautiful.

TOPANGA: I can't believe someone our own age wrote that!

[Mr Feeny approaches Shawn and hands him the poem he just read out]

MR FEENY: Someone like Mr Hunter?

CORY: What?

SHAWN: Yeah, I wrote that poem.

ANGELA: [softly] I knew it.

CORY: [pats Shawn on the back] I liked it!

[Shawn smiles; Mr Feeny raises an eyebrow and shakes his head]



---



[Still Mr Feeny's classroom. Everyone else has left other than Mr Feeny, Cory, Shawn, Topanga and Angela]

MR FEENY: [to Shawn] Any more poems?

SHAWN: I, uh, wouldn't really call them poems. I just write stuff down... I've been doing it since I can remember.

ANGELA: Can't believe you never told me.

CORY: I can't believe you never told me!

SHAWN: [defensively] I never told anyone, ok? I just... do it for myself. [stands up] Get my feelings out.

MR FEENY: Shawn, I host poetry readings at the Student Union, Friday evenings. If you would feel comfortable sharing some of your work-

SHAWN: [shaking his head] I don't know, Mr Feeny, it's...

CORY: [butts in with an arm around Shawn] That sounds AWESOME! Haha! Perhaps I could read some of my poems too?

MR FEENY: ...You have poems?

CORY: Well I wouldn't call them poems, I just... I just sort of write stuff down...

MR FEENY: [sarcastically] I can't wait. [leaves the classroom]

CORY: [shouts after him] ALL RIIIIGHT!

[Mr Feeny waves pathetically]

CORY: [to Shawn in a 'gangsta' accent] Ma poems are moneh, because they're so funneh.

SHAWN: [grins and makes his way out the classroom] Have fun.

CORY: All riiiight. Hey, Shawn. [follows Shawn out into the hallway] Shawn. Shawn!

[Shawn finally stops and turns around]

CORY: Listen, don't just blow this off.

SHAWN: [wearily] Cor, enough with the pressure.

[Topanga and Angela follow them out]

CORY: No, I know you - if I don't press you, you're gonna flake.

ANGELA: Hey, Cory. If Shawn doesn't wanna read his poems, then I think we should respect that.

CORY: No. Because Shawn never wants to do what's best for him.

[Shawn rolls his eyes]

TOPANGA: C'mon, Cory, leave him alone.

CORY: Shawn, just come with us, ok? If you wanna read poems you will, and if you don't you won't.

SHAWN: Will it shut you up?

CORY: [face lights up] Will you come?

SHAWN: Fine. [rolls his eyes again and walks away]

CORY: [turns smugly to Topanga and Angela] He's gonna write a poem... in his dorm, and not his hoem. [grins at his own genius] All right! This is so easy!



---



[Eric, Jack and Rachel's apartment. All three are sat on chairs with a pile of books nearby looking agitated; Rachel is fiddling with her hair and looking increasingly irritated at Jack, who is noisily eating an apple and glaring at Eric, who is sat at the kitchen table clicking his pen incessantly and keeps glancing at Rachel with gritted teeth]

ERIC: [yelling at Rachel] ENOUGH WITH THE HAIR!!!

RACHEL: [snaps] What?

ERIC: You heard me!

JACK: She couldn't hear anything over that pen. Click-click! Click-click-click-click-click-click!

RACHEL: [tersely to Jack] I don't need you to defend me, Apple Boy!

ERIC: [to Jack] Crunch! Crunch-crunch-crunch-crunch! Crunch-crunch-crunch!

JACK: Click-click-click-click-click!

ERIC: Crunch-crunch-crunch-crunch!

JACK: Click-click-click!

RACHEL: SHUT UP!!! Shut - up.

ERIC: ...Crunch.

RACHEL: [with forced calm] Look, I know these finals are worth ninety percent of our grades, but that doesn't mean we have to behave as wild animals do.

ERIC: [hissing at Rachel] Talk! Talk-talk-talk-talk-talk-talk! Would you shut up and let me study?!

RACHEL: Fine!

JACK: Fine!

RACHEL: Fine!

ERIC: That's great!

JACK: Fine!

ERIC: That's great!

RACHEL: Fine!

ERIC: Terrific!

RACHEL: Really-

ERIC: Shut up.

RACHEL -great.

[They're silent for a moment, then Jack takes a huge, noisy bite from his apple]

ERIC: WELL THAT'S IT!! [slams his book shut, picks it up and stands to leave] Now I'm going to the library, you people are so uptight, I can't even THINK! [pauses] You know how hard that is for me in the first place.

JACK: Yes, we do.

[Eric leaves]

JACK: Finally. Now maybe we can get some studying done.

RACHEL: Finally.

[Just as Jack and Rachel settle to work, Eric comes back looking sheepish]

ERIC: I don't know where the library is.

[Without a word, Jack and Rachel stand and leave the apartment with Eric]



---



[Jack, Eric and Rachel enter the library - it is packed full with students working silently at two large tables. Jack and Rachel sit at one of the tables opposite d*ck, and Eric sits at the other, opposite Audrey]

ERIC: Ahh, this is better!

MOST OF THE OTHER STUDENTS: SHHH!!!

ERIC: Sorry!

AUDREY: You don't sound sorry, you sound loud.

MOST OF THE OTHER STUDENTS: SHHH!!!

AUDREY: Thanks, now they hate me too.

GUY BEHIND A BOOKCASE: Shut UUUPPPPP!!

AUDREY: You shut up. [to Eric] And you shut up. Everybody, SHUT UP! Ugh, I HATE college!

d*ck: Pressure... pressure, it's k*lling me! [stands up and screams] AHHHHH!!!!

[Jack and Rachel look at each other and laugh]

JACK: What's the matter with him?

AUDREY: [to Jack aggressively] How would you like to have a book shoved down your throat?

RACHEL: Hey, wait a second, he's a friend of mine!

[Audrey stands up threateningly]

AUDREY: You want a piece of me?

[Rachel stands to face Audrey and towers over her; Audrey runs away and Rachel chases her around the library]

RACHEL: Come back here, you little twerp!

[Jack laughs]

d*ck: [to Jack] I don't like your face!

JACK: Well I don't like... your pants!

GUY BEHIND A BOOKCASE: Shut - up!

d*ck: [to Jack] What's wrong with my pants?

[Everyone in the library stands up and starts arguing with each other]

ERIC: HEY HEY HEY HEY!!

[Everyone shuts up and looks at Eric]

ERIC: What is happening here?!

[Rachel storms past with Audrey hauled over her shoulder]

ERIC: Look what we're doing to ourselves! I mean, these finals are turning us into monsters!

GUY BEHIND A BOOKCASE: So what do we do?

ERIC: That's a good question. [thinks, pacing the library] I'd like everybody to take off their... left shoe, and make a pile right here in the middle of the room right now.

[Everyone takes off their shoe and throws it in front of Eric]

ERIC: [to everyone] What are you thinking about right now?

GUY BEHIND A BOOKCASE: My foot's cold.

ERIC: Exactly! You're not thinking about the you-know-whats.

RACHEL: What?

ERIC: Can't say it. Look, we all know how important these you-know-whats are to our futures - not only here at Pennbrook, but for the rest of our lives. But the only way we're gonna do well... is if we relax. [puts his arm around a tense geeky-looking boy] Y'know, we calm down a little bit and stop biting each other's heads off and who knows, maybe we can even have a little bit of fun, huh?? [ruffles the geeky boy's hair] That's what I call the 'Eric Matthews Foolproof Study System'. [turns to the geeky boy seriously] Hello. I'm Eric Matthews.

[The geeky boy smiles fondly at Eric and rests his head on Eric's shoulder; Eric paces the library confidently barking orders]

ERIC: First things first, Rachel I want you to shake hands with the troll-

[Rachel and Audrey shake hands]

ERIC: -now I want everybody to come here and find a shoe. You will find who owns that shoe... and take 'em to the movies! Go on, go! [gestures to the shoes]

[Everyone stands up and picks out a shoe; Jack picks one up and grimaces]

JACK: Ergh, there's gum all over this one.

d*ck: Do you like popcorn?

JACK: Do I!

d*ck: Crunch during the movie, I'll push your nose in your brain. [grabs his shoe from Jack]



---



[Student Union, Friday night - Mr Feeny's poetry reading. Topanga, Shawn and Angela are sitting together amongst other students; Cory is on stage gesturing foolishly, getting ready to read a piece of his poetry; a guy playing bongos is sat nearby, tapping away for effect]

CORY: [after a dramatic pause] All day long, I think of you. [looking at Topanga] How do you do... the things you do? I love you girl... with all my heart. BECAUSE YOU'RE PRETTY!! ...And you're smart. [drum roll on the bongos] ...TOPANGAAAAA!

[Cory steps down from the stage and joins his friends; the crowd claps unenthusiastically]

CORY: It's a tough room.

MR FEENY: [takes the stage] The uh, final poet for this evening will be Mr Shawn Hunter.

[Shawn's jaw drops]

SHAWN: [to Cory] I can't believe you! When are you going to learn to stay out of my business?!

MR FEENY: [kindly] Mr Hunter?

CORY: [pats Shawn encouragingly on the back] Come on, we're all here for you.

[Shawn reluctantly picks up a notebook and takes it with him onto the stage; he turns to the mic and clears his throat nervously]

SHAWN: 'You don't know it, but sometimes...' [falters; the room is silent; he gulps hard and tries again] 'You don't know it, but sometimes... I... '

[Shawn falters again; Angela is looking at him warmly, but eventually he darts off the stage]

SHAWN: I'm sorry. [walks outside as quickly as possible]

CORY: [to the crowd, cheerfully] It's ok, everybody! It's ok, huh? Cory's here! It's just a touch of stage fright! [hops onto the stage] You know, his poems are better than mine! Ha! All right, I'll just, uh, read the one that he was gonna read.

[Cory picks up the notebook which Shawn left behind and reads from it]

CORY: This one's called 'Top of the World'. [pauses] 'You don't know it, but sometimes I go to a hill that overlooks the landscape's mask of city lights... for a sip of momentary grace. On this brink of everything I know, I can gain an eyeful of the lost Atlantis and the human soul... and a breath that fills my lungs with the air between two stars. If you were now to capture the image of this elation in the framework of your mind, or find transcendence through these words... then at most you would know nothing of the beauty your existence throws to me.' [Shawn enters the room looking solemn] 'For mine is a love no experience, no measure, no words, could ever degrade into reality by virtue of degree.'

ANGELA: [to Topanga, who has her hand on her heart looking entranced] I don't understand...

[Shawn strides across the room and grabs the front of Cory's shirt, dragging him off the stage]

SHAWN: [to Cory, dangerously] Come with me.

CORY: [looking absolutely baffled] Shawn...

[Shawn practically throws Cory outside]

SHAWN: Ok... how do I put this? [takes a deep breath] Who do you think you are?

CORY: Well that's a silly question, Shawn, I'm your best-

SHAWN: No no no no no. No jokes. No back-peddling. Look into my eyes, Cory. I am DEAD serious. [they look at each other] We have a problem here.

CORY: All right. Shawn, I'm sorry.

SHAWN: No no no no-

CORY: I-

SHAWN: That's not what I want to hear. Not this time. [raises his voice] I want to hear that you were wrong. That I asked you to back off, and YOU wouldn't take no for an answer. That you TOTALLY disregarded my feelings! You went WAY too far this time, Cory-

CORY: All right, all right! [Shawn quietens] I did that! Ok, but I just wanna say-

SHAWN: [furiously] Oh there'd better - there'd BETTER not be a 'but'.

CORY: I did this for your own good!

SHAWN: [stares at Cory] You have no idea what my poetry is about, do you? That poem that Feeny read in class - do you even know what that was about?

[Cory says nothing]

SHAWN: [sighs] Nothing. Cory, I can't say certain things. So... I write them down. That's how I get them out. Now I do that for me, not for anyone else.

CORY: I heard the poem, Shawn-

SHAWN: You HEARD it, but you didn't LISTEN to it. That poem you just read - do you even know who that was about?

CORY: [earnestly] Me.

SHAWN: It's about Angela.

[Camera zooms out to reveal Angela standing at the door listening to every word]

SHAWN: I wrote that for her.

CORY: [indignant] Well!

[Angela goes out and stands in front of Shawn looking very upset; she stands for a moment as though she's about to say something then slaps Shawn hard across the face; Topanga's jaw drops and Angela storms back inside]

TOPANGA: Angela, wait...

[Topanga follows Angela indoors; Shawn glares at Cory]

SHAWN: [sarcastically] Thank you.

[Shawn heads indoors, leaving Cory on his own outside looking hella guilty]



---



[Topanga and Angela's dorm room. Angela is lying on her bed, upset; Cory enters looking apologetic]

CORY: ...I don't know what to say.

ANGELA: Well that's a first.

CORY: Listen, I'm - I'm sorry I read Shawn's poem. And- no! I'm not sorry I read Shawn's poem! I mean, [falters] don't you see that he would love to tell you how he feels?

ANGELA: Then he should tell me.

CORY: Angela, he's writing poems for you... I mean he - he obviously is still in love with you. And I know you still love him. Remember? You told me. We were in the bathroom and you were in a towel and we hugged-

ANGELA: [interrupts, embarrassed] I remember! [pauses] Maybe I do still have feelings for Shawn... ok? But that doesn't mean we should be together. I'm finally ok! I started to move on.

CORY: [disbelieving] Heh, then what was the slap about?

ANGELA: [looks at Cory earnestly] How can he still have feelings for me and not want to be with me?

CORY: ...I don't know.

ANGELA: You know, he broke up with me. [getting upset] He's the one that wanted to meet new people. If he can't tell me how he feels about me, then - then - then what are we?!

CORY: Well uh, it - it's not in my nature to... interfere...

[Angela grins]

CORY: I dunno, maybe... his poetry is - is the only true way that he can tell you how he feels. Y'know? So... meet him halfway. [smiles kindly] Tell him how you feel.



---



[Student Union. Shawn is sat in front of the fireplace scribbling in his notebook; Angela enters and Shawn stands to face her]

SHAWN: [smiling] Angela...

ANGELA: Go ahead.

SHAWN: ...You sure? Not gonna hit me again are you? [grins]

ANGELA: I'm sorry I did that! [laughs]

SHAWN: Nah, it's cool. I probably deserved it.

ANGELA: [smiles] You're probably right.

[Shawn clears his throat and sits back down in front of the fireplace]

SHAWN: Look I've been going over these words over and over again in my head, 'cause... I wanna say this right.

[Angela sits beside him]

ANGELA: [gently] Oh, just... take your time.

SHAWN: [takes a deep breath] We used to talk. I mean... really talk. I miss that.

ANGELA: I miss it too.

SHAWN: Things just got weird. I mean, I - I got weird. But I don't want us to ever stop talking... I couldn't stand that.

ANGELA: Neither could I. And when I heard that poem-

SHAWN: [smiles] Yeah, the poem - that's what I wanted to talk to you about. I wrote that a long time ago.

[Shawn looks at her smiling broadly; Angela forces a smile]

ANGELA: You did?

SHAWN: Yeah! Like, way before we broke up, so... you don't have to feel weird., and... y'know, and everything's ok.

ANGELA: Oh! Well! Great! Because, um, it would've really been awkward knowing that you still had feelings for me. When I've - when I've clearly moved on.

SHAWN: Right. So I - I guess we've both moved on.

ANGELA: [forces another smile] Yeah. We can just... go forward as friends.

SHAWN: Good friends.

[Both sit by the fireplace looking at each other, smiling]



---



[Hallway at Pennbrook; Rachel and Audrey are standing together talking animatedly and Jack approaches them]

JACK: [smiling] Hey! Are we ever gonna see you two apart?

RACHEL & AUDREY: Not if we can help it! [laughing]

[Eric bounds into the hallway]

ERIC: Hey everybody!

[Everyone greets him cheerfully]

ERIC: When's the next test, huh? Who cares! [high-fives Jack]

JACK: Listen, man, I thought I'd be the last person to say this, but uh... hey thanks for letting us all know we just needed to mellow out.

d*ck: By the way, what's the success rate of this system of yours?

ERIC: System, what system?

AUDREY: The 'Eric Matthews Foolproof Study System'!

ERIC: Oh, dude! Totally made that up.

[The other students look suddenly concerned]

MANY STUDENTS: What?!

ERIC: I know, I know, I know! Stop grumbling! Now I know you guys are all interested to see if this is gonna work, and you know what? So am I!

d*ck: So are you?! You don't understand, if I fail-

[Students crowd around Eric complaining loudly and Mr Feeny enters holding a piece of paper]

MR FEENY: [seeing the crowd] Ok, what has he done now?

JACK: [to Mr Feeny] He talked us into this idiotic study system of his.

MR FEENY: [blandly] Ooh, interesting. [addresses everyone] Ladies and gentlemen! [pins the piece of paper to a nearby notice board] Your grades.

[Everyone rushes towards the notice board and upon finding their grade listed let out excited cheers; Audrey's at the back of the crowd jumping up and down]

AUDREY: I can't see!

RACHEL: Audrey you got an A too! AHHH!! SO EXCITED!!

[The two jump and squeal; everyone wanders down the corridor chanting 'Eric! Eric! Eric!' Eric tries to join in with them but Mr Feeny drags him away]

ERIC: [faintly chanting] Feeny! Feeny! ...Feeny...

MR FEENY: [firmly] Hang with me.

ERIC: I did nothing wrong! Is it a crime to take off your left shoe and take a friend to the cinema?

MR FEENY: ...Take off your left shoe?

ERIC: [laughs] Oh, not now, Feeny! C'mon. Y'know, just... everybody was so uptight about the finals, I thought I'd just... try to relax 'em.

MR FEENY: Oh, I see. Congratulations! I'm impressed with your insight. A recent university study showed that uh, non-stop focussing on one's studies hindered performance. So it's a good idea to put down the books and clear one's mind.

ERIC: [happily] Yeah!

MR FEENY: [pointedly] AFTER one has studied thoroughly and absorbed the material.

ERIC: Yeah!

MR FEENY: You forgot that part, didn't you?

ERIC: Yep, yep. [pauses] I didn't do so good, did I?

MR FEENY: [mimics Eric] Yeah.

[Mr Feeny drags Eric towards his classroom; as they pass the notice board, Eric quickly checks to see his grade]

ERIC: [grimacing] Doh!

MR FEENY: I told you!



---



[The Student Union. Shawn is sitting on a couch writing in his notebook; Topanga enters and sneaks behind Shawn, covering his eyes with her hands]

SHAWN: [smiling] Hey. [puts down his notebook]

[Topanga walks round to face him]

SHAWN: They're not here yet.

TOPANGA: You're kidding! We're gonna miss the movie!

[Shawn mumbles noncommittally; Topanga takes a seat]

TOPANGA: So... everything ok with you and Angela?

SHAWN: Yeah, yeah. We talked it out. I told her that I wrote the poem before we broke up, and... everything's ok.

TOPANGA: [smiles] Good.

[Shawn picks up his notebook and Topanga looks at it]

TOPANGA: Hey, Shawn, is that the book you wrote the poem in? [points to the one he's holding]

SHAWN: [nods] Mm hmm.

TOPANGA: [pauses] Isn't that the book that I gave you for your birthday?

SHAWN: What's your point?

TOPANGA: [shrewdly] Well my point is that you and Angela broke up before your birthday, so you couldn't have written that poem two months ago... [catches on] Shawn?

[Shawn shifts guiltily]

SHAWN: Ok! Ok, you caught me. I wrote it after we broke up.

TOPANGA: [excitedly] How long after??

SHAWN: Not long after.

TOPANGA: How long after?

SHAWN: I wrote it two weeks ago.

TOPANGA: [leaps on the couch and wraps her arms around him] Oh Shawn you DO still love Angela!!

SHAWN: Ok, let's keep it down, let's keep it down.

[Topanga lets him go and looks at him warmly]

SHAWN: I can't get her out of my mind, you know?

[Topanga nods]

SHAWN: I miss her... I miss how she made me feel. I miss the fact that I could tell her things that no one else understands - not even Cory.

TOPANGA: Well then tell her that, Shawn!

SHAWN: I - I can't tell her that.

TOPANGA: Why not?

SHAWN: Because I told her that I needed my space. I told her that I wanted to meet new people. I did this!

TOPANGA: [shrilly] If you two love each other you should be together! Maybe if Angela knew how you felt-

SHAWN: No, it's too late. Angela's not in love with me anymore. She told me - she's over me, that she just wants to be friends.

[Scene cuts to the patio outside the Student Union; Angela is heading in there when Cory calls her from behind]

CORY: Hey.

[Angela turns]

CORY: Listen, are you ok with us all going out? I mean, I - I hope I didn't mess everything up for you.

ANGELA: [smiles and straightens the collar of Cory's jacket] I'm ok. You mean well. [taps him on the cheek] You always mean well.

CORY: You know I didn't tell Shawn about how you feel, right?

ANGELA: I know.

[Scene cuts back inside the Student Union]

SHAWN: [earnestly to Topanga] I want you to promise me. Promise me you're not going to tell anyone - even Cory.

TOPANGA: Ok.

SHAWN: I mean that. [holds out his little finger] Pinkie swear.

TOPANGA: [smiles and links her little finger with his] I swear.

[Cory and Angela enter]

CORY: [to Topanga] Hey, what do you swear?

TOPANGA: I swear that I'm going to k*ll you if we miss this movie. [smiles at Shawn]

SHAWN: What took you guys so long?

ANGELA: Just tying up some loose ends - right, Cor?

CORY: Yeah. Hey, we'd better get going if we don't want to miss this movie.

[Topanga and Angela walk away together]

CORY: [to Shawn] Are we ok?

SHAWN: [grins] You're my date, aren't you?

[Shawn puts his arm around Cory's shoulders and the two leave together]



---



[Student Union - another poetry night. Cory is on stage.]

CORY: My next poem is called... 'Frustration'.

[The bongo player taps away; Cory looks suddenly pained]

CORY: [gesturing desperately with his hands] 'COME ONNNNN, TOPANGA!!!'

[The other students applaud weakly; Cory and the bongo player look pleased with themselves]

CORY: I call this next poem... 'Feeny'.

[The bongo player taps away; Cory dances to the b*at]

CORY: 'Mr Feeny is very smart... on many subjects, including art. And yet he can't help me with my frustration [screams] COME ONNNNNNN TOPANGAAAAAAAA!!!!!'