Kids! I can't believe it!
I thought I lost you two.
Ahh! Mr. Pines, it's really you!
I've been hugging strangers to practice for this moment.
We missed you, you old codger.
I've missed you knuckleheads too.
It's good to have you back.
So... what's everyone doing here?
Yeah, there's, like, monsters and gnomes.
And is Pacifica wearing a potato sack?
Hey! Even in a sack I still look better than you.
It's... It's a long story.
Hey, is anyone gonna feed me?
Larry King's disembodied wax head wants num-nums.
We're trying to ration our food, remember?
Mmm... mmm... Uhh, it's happening again!
Shh! Keep it down! Get the lights!
Welcome to what's left of normal around here-- home base.
We have... ♪ Several injuries ♪ Ooh! Ow! My liver, girl!
Do not be afraid.
Weirdmaggedon has taught me there are some battles I cannot win.
I am now Humble McSkirmish.
Grunkle Stan, how'd this all happen?
So I was hammering signs out back when the sky started vomiting nightmares.
I listen to a lot of AM radio, so I knew what this meant-- the end of the world.
What I didn't expect was what happened next.
Turns out whatever you and my brother did to the Shack with your unicorn voodoo made the crazy place invincible to weirdness.
Of course-- the unicorn spell!
That's why this is the only place Bill's magic can't touch.
That's when Possum Breath over here shows up leading a bunch of injured stragglers through the forest.
They needed a place to stay, and since the Mayor got captured, I elected myself de facto chief.
The plan's to stay in here and eat brown meat until we run out.
Then I vote we eat the gnomes.
Hey, I'm short, not deaf!
Shh! Shh! Stress will make you chewy.
Grunkle Stan, we can't all just hide inside the Shack.
There's a town in need of saving!
Me and Ford tried to do it, but he got captured by Bill.
Serves that jerk right!
My brother's had some stupid plans, but going up against an all-powerful space demon was his worst one yet.
Trust me, we have everything we need right here.
It's not the Ritz, but at least the monsters inside know how to massage.
You know Shiatsu? Yes, I've taken some classes.
So, you're really just gonna let Bill win?
Look, kiddo. We got a good deal here.
Besides, I'm sure wherever the rest of the townsfolk are, they're fine.
This is Shandra Jimenez reporting live from the inside of Bill's castle.
Here for the first time are images of what's happened to the captured townsfolk.
Viewers are advised to look away if they don't want to see their friends turned into a twisted throne of human agony.
Mom and Dad? My family!
Is there no one who will save the people of this town?
I'm Shandra Jimenez, and I'm being turned into stone by a flying eyeball.
Oh, no. My parents are bad, but even they don't deserve to be turned to stone.
Curse you, Bill!
Why must you take everything we love?
Guys, don't you see? Our friends need us, but we only save them if we fight back!
Mabel is right. Bill wants us to run and hide.
He wants us to think he's invincible.
But Ford told me before he was captured that he knows Bill's secret weakness.
Now, if we band together, if we combine all of our strength, our smarts, our... whatever Toby has...
...then we just might be able to rescue Ford, learn Bill's weakness, and save Gravity Falls!
Whoa! Whoa! Whoa!
Have you all forgotten who's in charge here?
Besides, we're only safe inside!
It's not like we can take the Mystery Shack to Bill.
McGUCKET: Wha-- Whoa!
Holy hootenanny! Flapjack and fiddlebanjos!
Sorry. Sorry. Got a little excited.
What I meant to say is, I think I figured out a way to fight Bill and rescue Ford.
But we're all gonna have to work together!
Now... if you just...
Don't worry, Ford. We're coming for you!
Let me go! You insane three-sided--
Wha-- What is this place?
; We'll meet again
♪ Don't know where, don't know when ♪ J; Oh, I know we'll meet again some sunny day 7 Wh-- Where am I?
You're in the penthouse suite, kid!
The tip of the pyramid! Have a drink.
Make yourself comfortable.
You know that couch is made from living human skin?
Quit the games, Cipher!
If I'm still alive, you must want something from me.
Ah, sharp as ever, Fordsy.
As you may have noticed...
I've recently had a multi-dimensional makeover!
I control space and matter, and now that that dumb baby's out of the way, time itself!
But I wasn't always this way. Oof!
You think those chains are tight?
Imagine living in the second dimension-- flat minds in a flat world with flat dreams.
I liberated my dimension, Stanford, and I'm here to liberate yours.
There's just one hitch. As it turns out, my weirdness can't escape the magical confines of this town!
There's something keeping me in.
Incredible! Gravity Falls' Natural Law of Weirdness Magnetism.
I studied this years ago!
And did you find a way to undo it? Of course!
There's a simple equation that could collapse the barrier.
But I'd never tell you!
Listen, Ford, if you just tell me that equation, finally your dimension will be free!
Anything will be possible!
I'll remake a fun world- a better world!
A party that never ends with a host that never dies!
No more restrictions!
No more laws!
You'd be one of us.
Greater than anything you've imagined!
And all I need is your help.
You're insane if you think I'll help you.
Ha ha ha! I'm insane either way, brainiac!
But have it your way.
I'll just fish around and get that equation directly out of your mind!
Not so fast!
You know the rules, Bill.
You may be able to haunt my dreams, but you can't enter my mind unless I shake your hand and let you in.
You're making this so much harder than it needs to be.
Everyone has a weakness, tough guy!
I'll make you talk!
It's only a matter of time.
All right. I've made some thingamadiculous robomajigs in my day, but this is the first one that won't be used for evil!
Whoa! These blueprints are incredible, McGucket.
This is your most amazing invention yet.
Question: Does it have any g*n-swords?
I watch a lot of anime and, uh, trust me, you're gonna want some g*n-swords.
What's an "anime"?
We have much to discuss. Discuss, nothing!
These scribbles are a bunch of cockamamie balderdash!
Excuse my French.
And where would you even find a bunch of idiots crazy enough to build it?
Grunkle Stan, you're lookin' at those idiots.
Whoa--What-- What are you--
Hey-- Hey, how. Hey! Don't touch that.
Thanks for these apocalypse sweaters, Mabel.
The end of the world has never been so comfortable.
Uhh! Fine, I'll wear it.
But I'm not gonna like it.
Admit it. This is the best day of the end of the world.
I think we actually have a chance to b*at Bill and win back our future.
Yeah. Getting to actually live to see our 13th birthday party is the only birthday present I want right now.
Hey, if we're lucky enough to get there, I guarantee this whole town is gonna throw you the best birthday party you've ever seen.
Hey, has anyone seen Grunkle Stan?
This whole plan is bonkers.
But of course, no one asked the Chief what he thinks.
After all I've done for everyone!
Yeah, exactly-- it's a total load of schmebulock.
Is something wrong, Grunkle Stan?
You're acting grunklier than usual.
It's this darn plan to save my brother.
If you didn't notice, I already saved him once from that portal, and he never thanked me!
He causes the end of the world, and somehow it's still always
"Stan's the screw-up, Ford's the hero.” Well, maybe people think he's a hero because he didn't want to hide in the Mystery Shack!
Well, maybe if he hid in the Mystery Shack he wouldn't have been captured!
Guys! Guys! Trust me, tomorrow's gonna be great!
I believe in us. Help! Leader Mabel!
I keep accidentally flexing through my sweater!
Aah! It happened again!
Those weird cow-monsters are delightful!
McGUCKET: All right, fellas!
Let's hope this turns out better than my other inventions!
Forgive me, boy. Your hyper-flammable merchandise is the only thing keeping me goin'.
What in blazes?!
No! No! Nooo!
Ready to talk now?
I won't let you into my mind!
What do you think, pals? Another 500 volts?
Hey, do you hear that?
What?! I just fixed that door!
It's the Shacktron, dude!
They made the house into a robot.
So the mortals are trying to fight back, huh?
Henchmaniacs, you know what to do!
Take them out!
This was a bad idea.
Uh, hey, dudes. Is this thing on?
Heh. Uh, I just wanted you monster dudes to hand over Ford, or we'll have to, like, fight and junk?
Heh heh. Hey, you're a little cutie.
I have butchered millions on countless moons!
Whoa. I liked you better before you talked.
Real-- real bring-down, this guy.
All right, dudes!
Everyone! Like we planned!
Three, two, one. Go!
Ha ha ha! Good pig.
Get 'em, Gobblewonker!
Oh, no, you don't!
Does this thing have an escape hatch?
Everybody! Maximum power!
You had, like, one job to do here.
Bravo, Dipper and Mabel!
Well, would ya look at that?
Those kids really care about you.
And you care about them.
What are you... Oh. Oh, no.
Perhaps torturing those kids will make you talk!
No. No! Not the kids! You ca--
Lets get this over with,
What the-- No!
No! No! No! No!
Aah! My eye!
Do you have any idea how long it takes to regenerate that?
We've got him distracted! Now's our chance!
Rescue team, move out!
We get in, rescue Ford, get out, save the world.
Piece of cake.
Just so we're clear, if I die, I'm suing all of you.
Hey, on second thought, maybe we could come up with a plan that doesn't involve us plummeting to our certain death.
Oh, man, oh, man...
Oh, man. It looks even worse up close.
I found Great-uncle Ford!
He's golden! But not in the good way!
Great. Grab him and let's get out of here.
But how are we going to unfreeze them?
Gideon! What happened to you?
Bill captured me. He's been forcing me to do cute dances in this cage for all eternity.
I'm so tired of being cute!
How do we undo this?
Mayor Tyler. He's the load-bearing human.
Pull him out, and the whole thing goes down.
Ah. My mouth tastes like nightmares!
Aah! I think I'm dark and tortured for reals now.
This experience will forever scar Tad Strange.
No more sailor suits!
Don't you ever scare me like that again!
Kids! Ah, you did it!
I knew I could count on you two. Ha ha!
I haven't seen you since we parted ways.
You must hate me.
I've tried forgettin'.
Maybe I should try forgiving.
Come here, old friend.
Hey, good to see you too, bro. Now let's get out of here, huh?
Listen, Uncle Ford, we don't have a lot of time.
Remember how you told me right before you were frozen that you knew Bill's weakness?
Yeah, a secret way to defeat him?
I-- I do!
Now, does anyone have a pen? Pencil? Anything?
Uh, we've got Bill outside, but I don't know how long we can keep him occupied.
Yes, yes. Good, good.
Drawing a circle on the floor.
Well, he's lost his mind.
My mind is fine.
And there is a way to b*at him-- with this!
The world's most confusing game of hopscotch?
No, a prophecy.
Although it would be a pretty fun game of hopscotch.
Many years ago, I found ten symbols in a cave.
Some I recognized then. Some I only recognize now.
The native people of Gravity Falls prophesized that these symbols could create a force strong enough to vanquish Bill.
With Bill defeated, his weirdness would be reversed and the town could be saved.
This whole time I thought it was just superstition.
But seeing you all here now I finally understand that it's destiny!
Dipper, the pine tree.
Mabel, the sh**ting star.
The question mark.
This one's unsolvable.
That one's easy.
You've been rockin' that dumb hoodie since the seventh grade.
Whoa. Destiny hoodie!
The tent of telepathy sign!
That must be Gideon.
Whoo! An excuse to stand next to Mabel!
Don't turn this into a big deal.
Oh, I won't.
Nice work with the heel!
Hold hands, everyone!
This is a mystical human energy circuit.
Ice? Who's Ice?
They symbol's needn't all be literal, Dipper.
It just has to be someone cool in the face of danger.
Shut up, you guys.
Much like the spectacles need to be someone scholarly.
This is freaky.
Now hold hands, everyone.
Ew! I'm not touching that.
Do it, sweetie. Do the one thing no one in our family has ever done-- touch the hillbilly.
Great-uncle Ford, I think it's working!
Yes, this is it!
The rest of you get out! It's too dangerous!
We just need one more person...
Stanley! Stanley, get over here!
You're the only one left.
You realize this is a bunch of hogwash, right?
You really think some caveman graffiti is gonna stop that monster?
Dang it, old man, now's not the time!
Come on! What are you doing?
You're gonna ruin this! I've never held hands this long, and I very uncomfortable!
Whoa. Hey, I'm not the enemy here, people.
Don't forget who literally created the end of the world.
I'm sorry, Stanley. I know. Just help me fix it! Please!
Fine. Just do one thing. Say "thank you."
What? I spent thirty years trying to bring you back into this dimension, and you still haven't thanked me!
You want me to shake your hand?
Say "thank you"!
Fine. Thank you.
Between me and him, I'm not always the bad twin.
Between "him and me."
I'll "Grammar, Stanley” you, you stuck-up son-of-a--
Don't jeopardize this, you idiot!
Everything's on the line! Stop it!
Oh, no, it's Bill!
Right? Isn't that what you're all thinking?
Hey, Gideon, why aren't you dancing?
Chop chop, huh?
Ha ha ha ho!
This is just too perfect!
Didn't you brainiacs know the zodiac doesn't work if you don't all hold hands?
And what's better, you've brought every thr*at to my power together in one easy-to-destroy circle!
Aaah! My hair!
Aaah! My hair also!
You guys want to see what happens to your friends when you can't get along?
Hey! You give them back!
You've gone too far, cipher!
Yeah! We're not scared of you!
Oh, but you should be.
Aaah! Oh, no!
Ya know, this castle could really use some decoration!
Looks like it's too late for your friends, Stanford!
But you can still save your family!
Last chance: Tell me how to take Weirdmageddon global and I'll spare the kids!
No! Don't do it! Yeah!
Bill makes bad deals!
Don't you toy with me, sh**ting star!
I see everything!
Ow! Not again!
Why?! Every time!
Nice sh*t, pumpkin!
I just regenerated that eye!
I know that hurts, because I've accidentally done it to myself-- multiple times!
Run! We'll take care of Bill!
What?! That's a su1c1de mission!
Trust us. We've b*at him before... and we'll b*at him again!
Hey, Bill! Come and get us, you pointy jerk!
What? No! It's too dangerous!
Not so fast! You two wait here!
I've got some children I need to make into corpses!
See ya real soon!
What do we do? What do we do?
When I get my hands on you kids, I'm gonna disassemble your molecules!
You've tricked me for the last time!
Ohh! I can't believe this!
The kids are gonna die, and it's all my fault-- because I couldn't shake your stupid hand!
Ahh, Dad was right about me. I am a screw-up.
Ah, don't blame yourself. I'm the one who made a deal with Bill in the first place.
I fell for all his easy flattery.
You would have seen him for the scam artist he is.
How did things get so messed up between us?
We used to be like Dipper and Mabel.
The world's about to end and they still work together.
How do they do it? Easy. They're kids.
They don't know any better.
Whoa, where you goin'?
I'm gonna play the only card we have left.
Let Bill into my mind.
He'll be able to take over the galaxy, and maybe even worse, but at least he might let the kids free.
What?! Are you kiddin' me?!
Are you honestly telling me there's nothing else we can do?!
Bill's only weak in the mind space.
If I didn't have this darn plate in my head, we could just erase him with the memory g*n when he steps inside my mind.
What if he goes into my mind?
My brain isn't good for anything.
There's nothing in your mind he wants. It has to be me.
We need to take his deal.
It's the only way he'll agree to save you and the kids.
Do you really think he's gonna make good on that deal?
What other choice do we have?
I'm starting to think there's no way out of here.
Like Grunkle Stan always says, when one door closes, choose a nearby wall and bash it in with brute force!
Ha! Now let's round up the townsfolk, and together we can defeat--
You'll never take us alive, monsters!
That's fine with us!
Oh, no! Peek-a-boo!
All right, Ford, time's up!
I've got the kids!
I think I'm gonna k*ll one of 'em now, just for the heck of it!
Don't do it, Ford! It'll destroy the universe!
It's the only way!
Even when you're about to die, you Pines twins just can't get along!
My only condition is that you let my brother and the kids go.
No, Grunkle Ford! Don't trust him!
It's a... deal!
Oh, I'm here. I'm finally here!
Look at this place-- A perfect, calm, orderly void.
Gotta hand it to you, Ford, you really know how to clear your--
Ha ha! Do a pretty good impression of my brother, don't I?
Switch clothes and no one can tell us apart.
Welcome to my mind. Surprised you didn't recognize it.
What?! The deal's off!
What the-- No, no, no, no!
Oh, yeah. You're goin' down, Bill.
You're gettin' erased.
Memory g*n. Pretty clever, huh?
Y-You idiot? Don't you realize you're destroying your own mind too?
Eh. It's not like I was using this space for much anyway.
Let me out of here! Let me--
Oh-- Why isn't this working?>?
Hey, look at me. Turn around and look at me, you one-eyed demon!
You're a real wiseguy, but you made one fatal mistake.
You messed with my family.
You're making a mistake!
I'll give you anything-- Money, fame, riches, infinite power, your own galaxy!
What's happening to me?!
Heh. Guess I was good for something after all.
Oh, my gosh!
Grunkle Stan, you did it!
Oh, uh, hey there... kiddo.
What's your name?
Heh. Who ya talkin' to?
C-Come on. It's me.
It's me, Grunkle Stan!
Grunkle Stan, it's me!
We had to erase his mind to defeat Bill.
It's all gone.
Stan has no idea, but he did it.
He saved the world.
He saved me.
You're our hero, Stanley.
Hey, this is a real nice place ya got here.
It's your place, Grunkle Stan.
Don't you remember? Even a little?
Nope, but this chair hugs my butt like it remembers.
Hey, why the long faces?
You guys look like it's someone's funeral.
Who's that big guy crying in the corner?
We saved the world, but what's the point?
Grunkle Stan's not himself anymore.
There's gotta be something we can do to jog his memory!
There isn't. I'm sorry. Stan's gone.
I know my Grunkle is in there somewhere!
There's gotta be something around here that can help bring him back!
This'll work! This has to work!
Here's the first day we came to Gravity Falls, Grunkle Stan.
And here's a macaroni interpretation of my emotions.
That time we went fishing.
That Summerween we spent together.
Don't you remember anything?
I'm sorry. I don't know what this is or who you are or--gah!
Quit it, Waddles!
I'm trying to remember my life story!
What did you say?
I said get Waddles off of me!
It's working! Keep reading!
Skip to my page!
He needs to remember our boss-employee relationship.
Hey! Just cause I have amnesia, don't go tryin' to give yourself a raise, Soos.
It's happening! Keep going!
"Day Two. Grunkle Stan smells weird but we're starting to bond.
He told us a lot about being a businessman in the '80s and seemed happy when we pretended to listen.
He also gave me a grappling hook which everyone is impressed by.
And in more important news, I've met some neighborhood hotties!"
Good Morning, Gravity Falls!
It's another beautiful day, but every day is beautiful now that the... unpleasantness is over.
Git outta here, ya ornery critters!
Ah, good as new.
Oh! Looks like you've got a friend!
Robbie, would you be a dear and get us the sawed off g*n?
Ugh. Fine, whatever.
Brains and so forth!
Nope! None of that, thank you.
None of us really understand what just happened, and none of us want to.
That's why I'm passing the Never Mind All That Act.
If anyone goes asking around about the "events" ” of the last few days, what do we say?
Never Mind All That!
And if you break the rules, we're gonna zap ya!
We're mad with power!
In other news, the Northwest family has gone broke.
After pledging his allegiance to Bill and then placing all his savings in weirdness bonds, Preston Northwest had to sell his mansion to preserve his family fortune.
You're only going to have one pony now!
But fortunes have also turned for local maniac Fiddleford McGucket who, after regaining his sanity, has made millions overnight submitting his patents to the US government.
I'm gonna buy me a bigger shed!
Hey, that one's for sale!
In other good news, town hero Stanley Pines has fully recovered his memory and will be throwing a party to celebrate his niece and nephew's thirteenth birthday and final day in town.
But other than that, I can safely say our beloved Gravity Falls is back to normal.
And now, Bodacious T, with sports.
It's called Death Ball!
♪ ...to you ♪
I can't believe you all got together just to throw a party for us!
After all the Pines family has done for the town, it's the least we could do!
You've helped everyone here.
Thanks to y'all savin' us, I learned to open my heart to kindness.
No more evil-doin'.
From now on, I'm gonna try to be Li'l Gideon, regular ol' kid.
Oh-- Ha ha! Whoo!
I am bustin' a move on this skatin' board.
More like busting your pants, loser!
Heh heh heh heh!
Hee hee hee!
Dude, make a wish, dawg!
Ya know, on my first day here, if you had asked me what I wanted, I would have said adventure, mystery, true friends.
But looking here at all of you, I realize that every wish came true--
I have everything I wanted.
If I had only one wish, it would be to shrink all of you with a shrink ray and bring you home with us in my pocket.
But since that's impossible--
Is that impossible?
Since that's probably impossible, my only wish is for everyone to sign my scrapbook.
I'll never forget you guys.
Now I'll never forget you guys!
I now officially declare you: technically teenagers.
Welcome to Angst and Acne Forever.
One of us! One of us!
So how do you feel?
Samey, but differenty.
Hey, you two.
When are you gonna open your presents already?
I broke a nail wrapping them.
Ha ha! Pacifica.
Stanley, I need to talk to you.
I didn't want to say anything with everyone listening, but we've got a problem.
Weirdmageddon has been contained, but I'm detecting some strange new anomalies near the Arctic Ocean.
I want to go investigate it, but I think I might be too old to go it alone.
Are you sayin' you need someone to help you sail around the world on the adventure of a lifetime?
I don't just want someone to come with me, Stanley.
I want it to be you.
Will you give me a second chance?
You think we'll find treasure? And babes?
Ha! I'd say there's a high probability!
But what should we do with the Mystery Shack?
I think the town's had enough mystery for one lifetime.
Are you thinkin' what I'm thinkin'?
Everyone, I have an announcement to make.
Me and my--heh!-- nerdy bro over here have some catchin' up to do, we're gonna be away for a while.
That's why I'm shutting down the Mystery Shack for good!
You shut down your mouth for good!
I'm sorry, Mr. Pineses, it's just that this shack is the most magical place on earth.
Sure, the attractions are all fake, but dreams aren't fake.
Like this mermaid:
It's not just a d*ad fish butt sewn to a monkey carcass, it's a marvelous creature that makes us believe that anything is possible.
You shut down this shack, and you shut down our dreams!
At least... my dreams.
I'm sorry, Soos, it's just there's no one around to run it.
At least there wouldn't be if I hadn't just found the perfect replacement.
Ladies and gentlemen, the Mystery Shack is under new management!
You... you mean it, Mister Mystery?
You're Mister Mystery now, Soos.
Try not to burn the place down.
I'll move in immediately.
Do you really have to go?
There is still so much we haven't done together.
Summer's over, Candy.
It's time for us to grow up.
But not too much.
Aaah! I hate my dumb heart for making me feel things!
Cut. It. Out. Heart!
Hey, can you punch my heart too?
No, mine! Punch my feelings away!
Candy and Grenda, thank you for being my people.
You'll always be my best friends.
Grunkle Stan, thanks for wearing my Goodbye sweater.
Ah, it's cold out. I had to.
What? But it's, like, eighty-something degrees out today.
Can it, Soos!
Hey. You mean a lot to me, man.
Something to remember me by.
Oh, and this.
Read it the next time you miss Gravity Falls.
Last bus leaving Gravity Falls.
Guess we said goodbye to everyone except...
I... don't know how to explain this, but...
Mom and Dad won't let me bring a pig home to California, so... you have to stay here!
Come on, come on!
I have to go.
I'm... I'm sorry, Waddles!
You know what? Forget it!
I lived with this pig all summer, now your parents are gonna have to!
Hey, bus guy!
This pig is coming with the kids!
Now, hold on a second.
Bringing animals aboard a moving vehicle is strictly prohibited by--
Wah-- Welcome aboard.
You can sit in the front row, pig.
Kids, you knuckleheads were nothin' but a nuisance and I'm glad to be rid of ya.
We'll miss you too, Grunkle Stan.
Ready to head into the unknown?
Let's do it.
Bye! Bye, everybody! I'll miss you guys too!
Bye, dudes! Bye!
If you've ever taken a road trip through the Pacific Northwest, you've probably seen a bumper sticker for a place called Gravity Falls.
Well, I've moved in.
It's not on any maps, and most people have never heard of it.
Some people think it's a myth.
But if you're curious, don't wait.
Take a trip.
It's out there somewhere in the woods... waiting.
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02x20 - Weirdmageddon 3: Take Back the Falls
Episode transcripts for the TV show "Gravity Falls". Aired: June 15, 2012 - February 15, 2016.
Twins Dipper and Mabel Pines spend the summer at their great-uncle's tourist trap in the mysterious Gravity Falls.
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1 post • Page 1 of 1