06x15 - Hulk Arnold

[bunniefuu]

[Joe c*ck's "with a little
help from my friends" plays]

-♪ Baby ♪

-♪ By with a little
help from my friends ♪

-♪ Said I'm gonna make
it with my friends ♪

-♪ Try with a little
help from my friends ♪

-♪ Oh, I'm gonna
keep on trying ♪

-♪ High with a little
help from my friends ♪

♪ I'm gonna keep on
trying now, baby ♪

-♪ Ooh, ooh, ooh ♪

-At some point in
your teenage years,

If you're lucky, you
make a discovery.

You find out you're
actually good at something.

It's that critical juncture

Where talent
becomes expertise...

Kinda.

It's your chance to star.

Or...

[Whistle blows]

End up flat on your face.

-Two points... Takedown!
Good move, arnold!

-Around the middle
of my junior year,

I found out something
about myself.

-Kevin, I can't breathe!

-This'll just take a second.

-For some strange reason...

Don't ask me how,
don't ask me why...

[Whistle blows]

-Pin!

- I was good at wrestling.

-Good combinations in there.

All right. Who's
next for arnold?

-[Clears throat]

-Not to brag or anything.

-Hey, sorry, chuck.

I guess you're just
havin' a bad day.

-Of course, I didn't
mind gloating a little.

-I don't understand it.
I did everything right.

-Uh, no, when you
do everything right,

It's the other guy who's sore.

-That's very funny.

I just wish we'd
start softball again.

-Well, you are
showing improvement.

-Face it...

Some guys had it,
some guys didn't.

And some guys...

-Hey, kev, why don't you go
out for the wrestling team?

-What?!

- Were lazy.
- Well, why not?

I mean, you got this weird
natural ability, right?

-Hey, how much time
do I want to spend

Jammed into some guy's armpit?

-The way I saw it,

Having a weird natural
ability was one thing,

But getting serious
about it was another.

[School bell rings]
- you're arnold, right?

-Until I ran into mr. Clean.

-Uh... I guess so.

-What do you mean?
You're not sure?

-No, I'm sure.

-But I still didn't
know who this guy was.

-I'm silva, the wrestling coach.

Oh. Hey, how you doing?

-Your p.e. Teacher
gave me your name.

I heard you can wrestle.

-Well...

You know, I'm not that good.

-I didn't say I heard
you were good.

I said I heard you can wrestle.

-Well... Yeah, I guess I can.

-I hate to see
talent go to waste.

What are you... About 140?

-Yeah.

Of course I had that jelly
doughnut after lunch.

-I got a slot open at 140.
You want to give it a shot?

-Well...

-And there you had it.

I'd been wooed,
recruited, and signed,

Without so much as a tryout.

So, of course, I said...

-I don't think so.

I mean... You know...

It just seems like
too much... Work.

-Well, if that's how
you feel about it.

-I kind of do.

-Fine.

But you might do
yourself some good.

You get to compete,
get yourself in shape...

Maybe lose some
of that baby fat.

-Wait a minute. Baby fat?

-Look, I've just got a lot
of things to do these days.

[School bell rings]

-All right. Suit yourself.

-I mean, hey, I didn't
have to stand there

And put up with those insults.

Baby fat? Pfft!

In fact, I'd just put the
whole thing out of my mind.

[Tv chatter]

-Wayne?

Does this look like fat?

-What?!

Nah, look.

Everybody gets that.

It's part of what they
call the maturing process.

-Evidently the only part
in which wayne participated.

-What, are you watching
your figure or something?

- [Chuckles]
- no.

Just the coach asked me to
try out for the wrestling team.

-You?

[Laughs] [door opens]

-What's so funny?
[Door closes]

-Dad, butthead's going
out for wrestling.

-Okay. It was time for a little
encouraging moral support.

-The wrestling team?

-Come on. What's
wrong with that?

-Nothing.

It's just a pretty
big commitment.

-So? I commit!

I've committed
to lots of things.

-[Laughs] yeah, right.

Mr. Commitment.

[Laughs]

-Then again, I didn't
have to sit around here

With a bunch of fat guys.

[Whistle blows]

-Let's go. Let's
see some energy.

-I... Was a wrestler.

So I decided to
give it a shot...

Show up for practice,

Help out the team.

-Work that mat.

Good. Get out of that.

-I mean, the guy

Had practically given
me an engraved invitation.

-Good. Good.

-Hey, coach.

-You're late!

-Unless, of course,
it got lost in the mail.

-Practice starts at 3:45.

You're late for practice,
you do five extra laps.

You're late two days in a row,

Don't bother showing
up on day three.

[Whistle blows]

- Nice seeing you, too.
- What?

-Nothing.

-All right. You,
you, you, over here.

Let's try some breakdowns.

-Still, maybe this
wouldn't be so tough.

Figured I'd watch
some demonstrations,

See a few holds...

-Arnold.

You're up.

- Or be the guinea pig.

-Me?

-Spider. Come here.

Let's see what this guy can do.

-Okay, then. I
could handle this.

It was pretty clear

I had a basic advantage
over this guy...

-Starting positions.

- Mainly, poundage.

-You know what to do?

-Yeah, sure.

-Yeah, this was gonna
be a piece of cake.

-Okay...

Wrestle!

-[Grunts]

-Hmm.

-Arnold, you get
the point here, right?

He makes a move, you counter.

-Yeah. Yeah, I
just... Wasn't ready.

-All right. Once more.

-You ready?

-Yeah.

-[ Chuckles]

Fool me once, shame on you.

-Wrestle!

All right, arnold,
get some leverage.

Get some leverage in there!

-The thing was,

This was really a
lot like gym class,

With one small difference...

In gym class, I
was the guy on top.

-All right, that's enough.

[Whistle blows]

-Not that I wasn't having fun.

-All right, spider. Thanks.

-Piece of cake.

-The rest of you...

Pair up by weight class.

Let's get to work
on some counters.

-Wait a minute.

That's it?

-Why'd you let him
pin you like that?

-Of course, looking back,

I probably just should
have promised to do better.

But instead...

-Yeah, well...

You know, these shorts
are really hard to wrestle in!

- I made excuses.

-I see.

-And anyway, I
didn't let him pin me.

He was pretty much there.

And besides,

You got to save something
for the meets, right?

-Oh, is that right?

Rodgers, come on, show
me that pinning combo!

Come on!

-Look, I just don't think
you've seen what I can do yet.

-I've seen enough for one day.

Keep working, keep working!

-I couldn't believe it.

-How could you even
call that a practice?

I mean, first, I
wasn't even ready.

And then the kid pulls this...

Pretzel hold I've
never even seen before.

-I'd about had it.

-Why do I put
myself through this?

-After one afternoon,

I'd decided to put an end
to my wrestling career.

-That must really hurt.

-♪ Let's get it on ♪

-Then again...

-♪ Let's get it on ♪

♪ Let's love, baby ♪

-He also mashed my chin.

It'll probably look a
lot worse tomorrow.

-♪ Let's get it on ♪

♪ Whoo-hoo ♪

-And you should
have seen the guy.

He was a giant.

-I never knew what
it would be like.

-What?

-You know... Dating a jock.

-Oh.

-I just wish I could
make it all better.

-♪ There's nothin'... ♪

-So, I decided to give the
sport another chance.

-Hey, coach!

We've been at this an
hour! How about a break?

-Oh, I see.

Now that you've mastered it.

-Whoops.

See, maybe the coach and I

Had gotten off on
the wrong foot...

Metaphorically speaking.

-Listen, coach, I think

Maybe you're gettin'
the wrong idea about me.

-Uh-huh. And why is that?

-Well, you know,
I'm a lot better

Than I'm showing you here.

-Oh, is that right?

-Yeah.

[Scoffs]

I mean, I beat every guy in p.e.

-Uh-huh. And who
were they again?

-I suddenly realized the names

Chuck coleman and skeeter lutz

Weren't guaranteed to impress.

-Look, everyone
knows I'm good at this!

[Whistle blows]

-In case anybody didn't hear,

Arnold here says he's a
lot better than he looks!

[Laughter]

Now everybody knows.

[Whistle blows]

That's it for today!

How about five laps to
celebrate mr. Arnold's greatness?

-Guess the message was clear.

In two days, I'd gone
from blue-chip prospect

To team laughingstock.

-Okay, you guys,
let's hit the showers!

I guess some guys
have so much talent...

They don't even
need to run laps.

Is that right, arnold?

-No.

I'm just really beat.

-You're beat?

Arnold, in the next
couple of days,

I'm gonna make up a list of
the new members of this team.

Do you want to be
on that list or not?

-Now, of course I said

What any
self-respecting teenager

Would say in this situation...

-I don't care.

-Speak up.

I don't have time to screw
around with you, arnold.

Do you want to be
on this team or not?!

I want an answer... Yes or no.

-I wanted to tell him exactly

Where he and his team could go.

But what I heard
myself say was...

-Yes.

-And the worst part was...

I really meant it.

[Indistinct conversations,
cash register dings]

-So, how's it going, haystacks?

-How's what going?

-The wrestling! What else?

-Well, it's going. Okay, chuck?

-During the next couple of days,

The pressure began to build.

-A little edgy, aren't we?

-It's just that the
first meet is coming up.

You gonna wrestle
that guy gurney?

-What's a gurney?

-Doug gurney!

This guy took state last year.

Kid's made out of,
like, titanium, or something!
- Chuck!

-I mean, he's pinned
everybody he's faced.

He's, like, the king
kong of wrestling!

I'm definitely
going to this match.

-I wouldn't miss it.

-You don't want to do that.

I mean, I might not
even get to wrestle.

-Much less make the team.

-Of course you're
gonna get to wrestle.

You're a natural!

You beat me, didn't you?

-Face it, kev... I mean,
you've got a gift.

-Terrific.

I was the only nonstarter

With his own
personalized fan club.

-You're gonna be great!

-Can't wait to see
you out there, man.

-Thanks.

-Yeah.

There was only
one thing to do...

Fall back on my
god-given talent.

-Aren't you ever gonna
get that reversal right?

-[Sighs] I'm doin'
the best I can.

-Are you?

-What's that supposed to mean?

-It means what it means.

-Great. I'm talking talent,
this guy's giving me zen logic.

-[Groans]
[whistle blows]

-All right, listen up!

We got a big match coming
up against the spartans.

Not only do they
have doug gurney,

But they're tough
in every weight class.

I'll be posting the new
team roster tomorrow.

-But I didn't need a pep talk,

And I didn't need
any team roster

To tell me exactly where
I stood with this guy.

-What can I do for you?

-Heck, no sense in
dragging this out.

-Well, uh... I thought
we could talk...

You know, about
this whole thing.

I mean...

I guess we both know

That it's really not
working out, right?

-It was time to end
it... No hard feelings.

-Not that it's anyone's
fault or anything.

-It's just you want out.

-What?

-I'm not surprised.

You wanted to quit ever
since you first came in here.

-Well, no, that's
not exactly true.

I mean, you're the one
who asked me to be a part...

-Well, maybe I made a mistake.

-What's that supposed to mean?

-What it means is,

Some kids have what it takes,

And some kids just have excuses!

-I couldn't believe it.

I had come to bury the hatchet,

And this guy wanted my scalp.

-Yeah, well, for
your information,

You haven't really given
me much of a chance!

-Is that so?

-Yeah.

-Okay, in that case...

Now's your chance.

-What?

-You say you can wrestle?

Show me.

-What, here?

With you?

-Do you see anybody else
standing around here?

Come on, arnold.

What, are you afraid
you might look foolish?
- No.

- Or are you just afraid?
- No! That's not it!

-Come on, arnold.

I've seen your act,
I've heard your alibis,

I've heard your stories.

Here's your chance. Show
me what you're made of.

-And even though I
knew it was a trap,

At that moment, I just saw red.

-[Grunting]

-Why don't you give up?

-No.

-Come on. Give up!

You know you want to.

[Exhales sharply]

-It was just about the
worst moment of my life.

And then it got worse.

-Oh, yeah, by the way...
You made the team.

-The rest of that week

I felt like I'd fallen
into a bottomless pit,

With no way out.

The thing that hurt most was

Something I had
been good at once

Had somehow turned bad.

I'd failed.

Yet, for some
reason, there I was,

A member of the team.

And I didn't know why.

[Crowd cheering]

That friday night,
the place was packed.

-Don't let him get that ankle!

-It seemed like half the
high school had shown up...

[Whistle blows]

Including my fan club.

Of course I was there,
too... On the bench.

I'd been too embarrassed
to call in sick with the flu.

[Cheers and applause]

But even if I was
wearing the uniform,

I knew one thing for sure...
I was never gonna wrestle.

Not on this team,
not in a million years.

-Will the contestants of
the 140-pound weight class

Please prepare for their match?

-Nope. I was just gonna
sit here... Forever.

-Doug gurney for the green team!

[Cheers and applause]

And bill larsen
from the red team.

-Larsen, I'm moving
you up in weight class.

Sit this one out.
Arnold, you're up.

-Me?

-You're the one I'm looking at.

-But that's doug
gurney out there!

-Yeah?

[Crowd chanting "gurney!"]

-I realized it wasn't enough
to have me under his thumb,

He wanted to
totally destroy me...

-May I have your
attention, please?

There's been a
change in the lineup.

Kevin arnold will now
be wrestling doug gurney.

- In front of everyone.

[Cheers and applause]

So, there was only
one thing to do...

Set out like a
lamb to slaughter.

I mean, what did I
really have to lose?

-Gentlemen, shake hands.

-Go get 'im, kev!

-I prepared myself
to be torn to pieces...

-Come on, you can take him, kev!

- Ripped limb from limb.

And then the
impossible happened.

[Whistle blows]

I actually scored two points.

-Two... Takedown, red.

-All right, kevin!

-It was astonishing,
it was a miracle...

[Both grunting]

It was temporary.

And suddenly, this
guy had me in a hold

I'd never even seen before.

-Come on, kevin!

-So I did what came naturally...

I fled.

-Good move. Good move.
[Whistle blows]

-That's gonna be a warning,
red... Fleeing the mat.

Hey, red, you're down.

-It was embarrassing,
humiliating,

But there was no way out.

It was a living,
breathing nightmare.

[Whistle blows]

And that's when it happened.

-Come on, kid, give up.
Make it easy on yourself.

-I was beaten, finished.

-Don't let him pin you.
Don't let him pin you!

-All I wanted to do
was lay my shoulder

Against that mat,
but for some reason...

- Come on!
- I didn't.

Something inside
wouldn't let me.

-[Straining] just lay down.

-[Straining] you first.

-Come on, kev,
fight him! Fight him!

-No matter how many
points this guy racked up,

I wasn't gonna let him pin me.

That night, maybe for
the first time in my life,

I committed myself to something.

-Come on, kev. Do it! Do it!

-I left the excuses,
I dumped the alibis,

I went for broke.

I was a wrestler,

And I gave it everything I had.

-Hang tough, kid.

[Buzzer sounds]

[Cheers and applause]

-Shake hands.

-Sure, maybe the score
may have been lopsided,

And maybe a kid named
gurney got the win,

But for me, it was a victory.

-15... 2.

-Yeah.

I told you I was good.

-All right, kevin.

-Way to go. Good job.