[light creaking]
[dramatic music]
[skeleton growling]
[Man] If you open the
door that separates us
from our creator.
A false god in the sky.
[Francesca] But you need
no doors to find God.
If you believe my dear, Elizabetta,
you're not of sane mind.
Can you look around this world
and believe in the goodness
of a God,
when all he shows us is pain.
Famine, pestilence, greed,
w*r, disease, and death.
They only rule this world.
[Francesca] There's also
love and life and hope.
[Man] Very little hope,
I assure you.
Now, if a God of love
and life ever did co-exist
with his fellow man,
he is long since dead.
Someone, some beast,
rules in this place.
A false prophet in the sky.
This is Chilly Billy.
It's station . FM.
Ghouls, werewolves, vampires,
ghosties with the mosties.
It's Halloween, or as we
like to call it,
Hell Hollows Eve.
[maniacal laughing]
Up next for the ghoulies
and ghosties and hosties
with the mosties we've
got all your favorites
that go bump in the night.
[maniacal laughing]
We've got a few new
stories and we'll be taking
requests from some
loyal listeners.
So buckle up because unlike
some we'll be right back.
♪ Oh I've got the heebies,
I've got the heebie jeebies ♪
[tense dramatic music]
[upbeat music]
[tense music]
[upbeat music]
[tense music]
[upbeat music]
[tense music]
[upbeat music]
[tense music]
f*ck! f*ck!
♪ It's called the heebie
jeebies ♪
♪ It's called the heebie
jeebies ♪
♪ Jeebies ♪
[tense music]
[owl hooting]
[dramatic music]
Hey guys.
- Hey.
- Hey.
- Hey.
- Hey.
You guys ready for tonight?
Heck yeah.
I spent all of my babysitting
money on this costume.
This is going to be awesome.
[gentle music]
You need any help?
[dramatic music]
What do you think you're doing?
Nothing.
Remember what
happened last year?
We can't go through that again.
Does anybody remember
where I put my helmet?
I'm almost finished.
We gotta be on the
lookout for bullies too.
Speak of the devil.
Hey kid, get off our turf.
Leave my tree house alone, jerk.
[dramatic music]
Hey, I just made those.
Your club's stupid.
I'm telling your mom.
Hey guys, guess what I got?
- All right.
- Nice.
[mobile phone buzzing]
Uh-oh.
I gotta go.
Go?
Why? It's not even late yet.
missed calls from my
stepdad is why.
Not tonight, it's Halloween.
Let me go home and check in.
Maybe that'll calm him down
and I can catch up
with you guys.
You want us to walk with you?
We can wait outside your door.
No, it'll be okay.
Go have fun and save
some candy for me.
Be safe.
- Group hug.
- Group hug.
Hey, call us if you need us.
[gentle music]
[dramatic music]
- Trick or treat?
- Trick or treat?
- Trick or treat?
- Trick or treat?
[Child] Trick or treat?
[girl screaming]
[Child] Trick or treat?
Stupid tree house club.
[tense music]
[head screaming]
This house is cheap.
Ugh, can't eat those.
Can't eat that.
Are you kidding?
[dramatic music]
This sucks.
[clown laughing]
[tense music]
[dramatic music]
[eerie music]
[dramatic music]
[Woman] Happy Halloween.
Happy Halloween.
[phone chiming]
Kyra, get in the truck.
[beer cans clattering]
You're grounded.
For what?
Sneaking off and causing more
destruction I gotta pay for.
You and that
God-damn tree house.
I swear it, I'll burn it down
if you ever go there again.
But everyone is out tonight.
We were just going to
get some candy.
I'll take this too.
No sense in paying for
something you won't answer.
What a no-good, sorry
excuse for a holiday.
Your room.
Now!
This is so unfair.
What'd you say girl?
Please just let me go
out tonight.
It was her favorite
night of the year.
Not any more.
[somber music]
[eerie music]
Right, hit him in the head.
Right between the eyes.
[skeleton laughing]
[Skeleton] Trick or treat?
[dramatic music]
[ethereal music]
[dramatic music]
[ethereal music]
[dramatic music]
[monster growling]
[fairy tinkling]
[monster growling]
[fairy tinkling]
[door creaking]
You did it again, didn't you?
What kind of twisted demons
did you create this time?
[monster whimpering]
Dad, please.
Dad, no, please.
After all I've done
for you, girl.
Good thing your mother isn't
here to see what you've become.
Dad, please, no.
- [fairy tinkling]
- [monster growling]
[Kyra] No!
[monster whimpering]
[fairy tinkling]
[dramatic music]
Your soul is mine forever.
[screaming]
[dramatic music]
[phone chiming]
[gentle music]
[pumpkins laughing]
[skeleton screaming]
[dramatic music]
[Paul] We're back
in five, four, three.
Woo, kiddies, we are just
getting started.
But it's not always the young
ones that are being naughty,
is it Paul?
Nope.
We got some grownups
that ain't never learned.
Until they did.
[tense music]
Tasty treat coming right up.
[dramatic music]
Trick or treat?
Well, now who are you?
I'm Little Red Riding Hood.
Oh, adorable.
Well here, here's some candy.
There you go.
Wait a minute.
Would you or your mother
want a cupcake?
Are they gluten-free or vegan?
Well of course they are.
Of course.
Wait, hold on.
Here you go.
I'm good but sure my mom
will love one.
They are very sweet and yummy.
- Thank you.
- You're welcome.
You are so polite.
[dramatic music]
[door knocking]
[tense music]
[door knocking]
[gentle music]
[door knocking]
You're kind of old to be
trick or treating, aren't you?
[clown laughing]
[man screaming]
[tense music]
It's not burned.
What the f*ck did you do to me?
Say hello to death
you m*therf*cker.
[g*n shots]
Die!
[dramatic music]
[clown laughing]
[Billy] What a nasty
way to go, Paul.
Locals say that Grimsley
was never heard from again.
Some say that he moved
away, but we know better.
What a reminder, however,
to check those chocolates
because you never know what
tricks are in your treats.
And how do you not check
the chocolates
in the first place, man?
I don't know, shitty parenting?
Super shitty.
- Paul?
- Yeah.
[Billy] Do you like clowns?
Dude, I f*cking hate clowns.
[chuckling]
♪ Yeah we are the antidote ♪
[rock music]
♪ Yeah we are the antidote ♪
♪ Yeah ♪
Yo, trolls?
Man, you still got any
fuel left for this party?
I got it.
Can I cash value?
Sure, bro.
You're a good dude, man.
Don't eat that.
Don't.
- Okay, I won't.
- Good evening, ladies.
No, don't eat that. Don't.
I'm gonna need some of that.
You know this is a
costume party, right?
Yeah.
So what are you
supposed to be?
She's a cop, right?
Don't you cops need bad
guys to chase?
Oh that was funny.
I thought it was
funny. I'm sorry.
You're drunk.
[phone chiming]
Fascinating, huh?
What?
I got a cure for that ailment.
I'm not sure if I follow.
However I'm probably
not interested.
Well, if you change your
mind I've got a love letter
with your name on it.
Take two, call me in
the morning.
First one's on me.
Have fun.
Will do.
[upbeat dance music]
Trick or treat?
Oh, hey baby, you ever play
red light, green light?
I can go green all night long.
Hey man.
How's the party going, man?
I gotta drop this off.
I gotta dip.
Go.
Thanks, man. Thanks
I need a little something
to take the edge off.
You know what I mean?
Look, man, I'm cool
with a lot of sh*t
but I don't need
any details.
And you didn't
get that from me.
Get the f*ck out of here.
Watch it and keep your
hands to yourself.
That's right, I ran
into you two.
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
Want me to make it up to you?
I've got the
really good candy.
If y'all want one
on the house?
I understand if it's
not your thing.
This is pure sh*t and
really expensive,
mostly for celebrities
at festivals and whatnot.
[girls whispering]
Bottoms up.
Thanks, loser.
Later, skanks.
[rock music]
- Sup?
- Sup?
- Hey.
- Hey.
[Billy] You're listening
to Chilly Billy
on Psychotronic FM.
FM.
Ghouls, werewolves, vampires,
ghosties with the mosties.
It's Halloween, or as we like
to call it, Hell Hallows Eve.
[maniacal laughing]
Can you dig it?
[tense music]
[bell chiming]
[Man] Yo, yo, yo, yo.
- Oh, hey bro.
- What's good, baby?
You got the blue candy?
[Man] Ah, you want some
of that trippy dippy?
- That's right.
- I got that for you.
Have fun.
Fun night?
I'd ask you the same thing
if I didn't already
know the answer.
See, honey, that is why
you are not my boyfriend.
You're welcome.
[upbeat music]
All right, this place is
a real f*cking sh*t h*le.
You look like sh*t.
[eerie music]
[phone chiming]
What the f*ck?
What the f*ck, man?
You took a picture of me?
Did you take a picture of me?
Are you all right?
[dramatic music]
f*ck. What the f*ck?
What do you want?
What do you want?
A smoke?
I got a nice car.
f*ck.
This isn't happening.
This isn't happening.
Here, take my money.
Here, have my money, man.
f*ck.
f*cking leave me
alone you freak.
[tense music]
[dramatic music]
f*ck.
f*ck.
What the f*ck
is wrong with you, man?
[tense music]
[dramatic music]
[Billy] I want you to call in
with your scariest ideas,
your deepest fears, your
spookiest nightmares,
so I can twist the knife
in to your stories.
Can you dig it?
[dance music]
[phone chiming]
Abs!
Abs, you're not leaving are you?
Are you leaving?
No, don't leave.
Party's just starting.
Clearly.
I gotta work.
I'm sorry Matt didn't
show up again.
Yeah, it's cool.
He's a d*ck, so.
Hey, don't be like that.
There are loads of other
dudes here to hook up with.
f*ck that guy.
Well, that's not gonna happen.
But I gotta take off.
You be safe.
Oh, no, you be safe.
[upbeat music]
[Abbie] f*ck it.
Well, if I'm gonna be
stuck here all night
I shouldn't waste it.
Boring Abbie.
Never have any fun.
Predictable Abbie.
This is why no guys like you.
Creepy.
Creepy Abbie.
Your only friends are dead.
Whoa.
Not tonight big guy.
Maybe some other time.
Who did he think he
was selling to?
[dramatic music]
Hm, coconut.
Weird choice.
Impressive.
Very impressive.
Good for you.
You know it's not often a
man keeps me up all night.
You...
You probably wouldn't be the
type of guy to Swayze a girl,
would you?
Probably be early.
Is it getting hot in here?
Oh, this old thing?
I was just doing the dishes.
Do you like it?
It'll be our little secret.
No need to be shy.
Let me just.
[tray clattering]
Get that out of the way.
That a boy.
That's it.
That's muscular.
So much more muscular than him.
You feel so alive.
Pardon me.
So warm.
So much better than him.
Just start here and I'll
take care of you.
And you'll take care
of me, won't you?
What?
Don't you want to play?
Let me just adjust.
Just adjust it.
There you go.
We need two hands.
Let's get this one
released here.
So firm.
I'll get that.
[upbeat music]
[dramatic music]
No! No!
[dramatic music]
[man growling]
[tense music]
No! No! No!
No! No! No! No! No! No! No!
No! No! No! No! No! No! No!
No!
Oh, man.
What a d*ck.
Oh.
Welcome back kids to the
Psychotronic FM Halloween show.
We continue down this dark
and dusty road on the night
when the space between
the living and the dead
is at its thinnest.
When devils and demons
walk amongst us.
When the skeletons in our
closet come out to play.
But before we do any of that,
we've got to pay these bills.
We got to keep the lights on.
Especially when the things
that go bump in the night
await us around every corner.
Hello?
[Man] Hey what's
Billy's biggest fear?
Yeah, I'll ask him.
[Man] Cool, happy Halloween.
Hey, Bill, we've got a
caller on the line
that wants to know what
your biggest fear is.
My biggest fear?
[Paul] Mm-hmm.
The dark.
[dramatic music]
Good evening, Count Dracula.
[phone chiming]
Hello?
[Vin] Let me ask you something,
what are you wearing?
What?
[Vin] Answer
the question, Daryl.
I don't see what that
has to do with anything.
[Vin] f*cking Dracula.
Am I right?
Not exactly.
[Vin] You generic-a*s
walking copyright violation.
Every f*cking year, Daryl.
Okay, you know what?
You wear the same costume
every year, right?
Hey, hey, I do that for
you and Lenny, dude.
As a favor.
Thank you so much, sweetheart.
Put you in coffin right now.
Okay, you know what?
First of all, it's tradition.
So...
You know why I'm calling you?
If you're calling about
the rabbits, I told you
that I will have them.
Lenny loves his rabbits.
So now you're gonna
tell me what Lenny likes.
Just a reminder, that's all.
I will have them.
Along with the?
The pumpkins.
Atta boy.
Okay, I hate to
cut this short, Vin,
but it's getting late.
Sun's going down.
And you know what that means.
A vampire's gotta eat.
Yeah, he does.
g*y.
Jerk off.
You're so pretty.
I can't believe I'm doing this.
Look, you're not playing along.
Because we're not
anymore, Chuck.
We used to have fun.
Come on, just a little?
No, you had fun while I
had to convince
the whole senior year that
you didn't f*cking bone me
in a closet.
Well, that offer still stands.
No, that's gonna be a
strong no for me.
I'm only doing this
because Cat, you know Cat?
She won't leave me alone.
Well that's a real
confidence booster, Marie.
You know chicks actually
really dig me.
You know that?
I'm a nice guy.
Let me stop you right there.
You know, we used to be friends
before you turned into
a total f*cking jerk
who I only tolerate at parties.
Works for me.
Time's up love birds.
Leave some closet for
the rest of us.
As an officer of the law it
was your job to frisk him.
Please don't make me do
anything else like that.
I mean, can we do
something better?
[upbeat music]
[laughing]
Thank you for such
another fun party.
Thank you for coming.
- See you at work.
- All right, be safe.
Bye.
- Hi.
- Hey.
- Hiya.
- Marie?
You're my fourth
pickup from here.
Is it a busy party?
I mean, I guess.
I only called you because
some as*h*le blocked my car.
Oh, just a few spares
in the back, you know?
Never to careful.
[phone chiming]
Is that the right address?
Yeah.
[tense music]
Good God.
What are you doing?
Are you okay?
Hey, hey, hey, hey.
Are you okay?
I told him this isn't my house.
Are you gonna arrest me?
What's your address?
I'll call you...
Stay here.
Whatever,
you're the cop.
[tense music]
Jimmy?
Jimmy are you home?
You left the door...
[tense dramatic music]
[indistinct chatter]
Way more remotes
than they have TVs.
[Man] No, it's just
games in here.
There's no safe.
Hey Chuck, please help, man.
Chuck, check this out.
I'm the queen of England.
Dude, let's go man.
It's not worth it.
One last check
and I'm done.
Yeah, man.
f*cking sh*t.
Is that the cops?
She only wishes
she was a cop.
Ain't that right, Marie?
You son of a b*tch.
Oh, I'm gonna get you.
Alex, dial .
[Alex] Dialing .
Where the f*ck are you going?
[Marie screaming]
[Alex] Connection failed.
Time to go, man.
Nah, I wanna have a
little fun first.
You're on your own.
[Marie screaming]
Why do you always
complicate things?
[Chuck] Huh?
You've been a stuck
up b*tch to me
ever since the sixth grade.
Ever since your parents
died you turned me away.
Look at me.
Open your mouth.
[Chuck groaning]
Son of a...
f*ck you, Chuck.
Get the f*ck out of my house.
Marie?
This is your last chance, Marie.
That was a sweet kick
to the face.
Marie?
[Chuck screaming]
[dramatic music]
[Chuck screaming]
[Chuck groaning]
And he screamed out,
"Run, b*tch. Run."
So she ran.
[dramatic music]
f*ck.
[dramatic music]
Marie?
Here's to another spooky year.
Night ain't over yet though.
[Billy] Make sure you eat
before midnight.
Remember what
happened last time.
Okay, Boomer.
That's right folks, the
wonderful people at Free Ride
wanna make sure you make it
back in one piece tonight
with their discount
code bloody one.
- Trick or treat?
- Trick or treat?
- Happy Halloween.
- Trick or treat?
[dramatic music]
[Man] Late snacker?
Gigi's Pizzas offer two large
pies for . tonight only.
Last call, . , kids.
Only on Psychotronic FM.
Do you know any good
parties tonight?
Sorry, what's tonight?
Halloween.
It's like my favorite
night of the year.
Wow, Halloween.
Well sorry to
break it to you, bud,
but nobody gives a sh*t
about Halloween.
All right?
It's just a bunch of
pre-pubescent little shits
and creepy weirdos who like
feeding other people's children.
Besides, who are you
supposed to be?
You look like my
great-grandfather.
Hey, there's no smoking in here.
Whatever, dude.
I'll give you five stars,
all right?
That's not how
this ride works, okay?
- Ride's over.
- Dude?
- Get out.
- I don't know where...
- Are you f*cking serious?
- Yeah, I'm f*cking serious.
Another rider will be out
here to pick you up later.
One star.
Piece of sh*t.
- Happy Halloween, b*tch.
- f*ck you.
[Man] Target acquired.
[woman screaming]
So I've been making like
a lot of money with this
outfit tonight.
[indistinct chatter]
Like a super bunny.
Like I've been f*cking so
many guys at the same time.
And like I make money so quick.
- Rabbiting hard?
- Yeah.
Oh, yeah.
Lucky you, if I have
to f*ck one more clown
I swear I'm gonna lose it.
Mm, yeah.
It's just really
exhausting, you know?
Totally, totally.
And getting that...
Everywhere.
It's really hard to wash out.
Yeah, they're kind of creepy.
Yeah.
I don't like when they're
about to cl*max
and then they hit me
with the flowers.
Wait, what?
[indistinct chatter]
Yeah!
Where does it come from?
Their d*ck?
Everywhere.
And it's just like, it's
just all over me.
And it's like, it's
Tuesday, you know?
I'm not, I'm not trying
to have that.
I'm just trying to have
like just a simple,
like simple f*ck, simple
blow and just call it a day.
- Yeah exactly.
- Yeah, totally.
[Woman] I don't need a skit.
I'm not, this isn't a show.
[Woman] A full-blown role
play situation.
You should charge more for that.
[Woman] I should.
Look.
Look at that clown car.
I have time but do I have room?
I'm game.
Not it.
f*ck me.
- I already did the other weirdo.
- No, no, that doesn't count.
Like f*ck me.
Like, that means you
wanna f*ck 'em.
So I'm out.
You're in.
Hey, ladies.
f*ck you.
Shall we?
Let's go see what this
m*therf*cker's doing.
Damn, did somebody order
some Count Chalkula?
Definitely not.
You know I can't eat
f*cking cereal.
And now I'm hungry.
[phone chiming]
Ah, f*ck me.
- What?
- I think he's my ride.
Bye.
[tense music]
- Happy Halloween.
- Happy Halloween.
You gone die, b*tch.
Bye.
You know, I can role
the windows up
or even down if you want?
Save it, you're not getting
any freebies from me.
I'm just making conversation.
No, no, no, no, no, no, no.
sh*t.
Okay Bran Stroker,
what's on your mind?
Actually Bram Stoker
was the author.
He wasn't the vampire.
Sure he was and then he
gets k*lled off in the end
by Eddie van Halen or some sh*t.
So you're going home
for the evening?
What do you mean?
From my job as a prost*tute?
Not really making any
assumptions about your vocation.
I'm going to see my pimp.
He needs me for something.
I think he wants to take
me to a party.
Your pimp?
I always wanted to meet a pimp.
Oh honey, he'd love your a*s.
This is you.
You really wanna meet my pimp?
Yeah.
And you're not some sort
of spy or that sh*t?
It'd make me way
cooler if I was?
Okay, f*ck it.
Although he might f*ck
you up a bit.
He's kind of hard to read.
[phone chiming]
Take that hit.
Hit.
Hey, Daddy.
Who the f*ck is this?
He's my ride.
Well what the f*ck does he want?
I think he wants to
suck your blood.
Nah, I think he wants
to suck my d*ck.
Well, what is it?
His blood or his d*ck?
[dramatic music]
Time to go fruitcake.
[dramatic music]
[woman screaming]
Did I miss something?
[grunting]
sh*t.
Oh, seriously?
[both grunting]
- Why didn't you hit her?
- She's a woman.
- What are you sexist?
- What?
Equal opportunity.
See, why can't you do that?
She was really big.
You fought the Taliban.
You always do this, Daryl.
You get in trouble and you
call me to bail you out.
See, there's no I in team,
- Daryl.
- You had a g*n?
[Vin] Yeah, why?
You should have used it
from the start.
I don't like g*ns,
you know that.
That's why I only
carry one around.
So what do you wanna
do with her?
I got her.
So who's d*ck was I
supposed to be sucking?
Who are you, mister?
I'm f*cking Dracula.
[tense music]
Jesus Christ, you smell
like wolf p*ssy.
Next year I'm going as
Hercules, no more masks.
Where's your other glove?
Got stuck in your mom's pubes.
Smell my finger.
[light dramatic music]
Sorry I'm late.
As excuses go, that
one's pretty good.
Boom.
Another year.
Dude, you make six
figures a year.
Why are you still buying
the same f*cking beer
we had when we were
in high school?
What's wrong with you?
Works for me.
Where's Lenny?
Lenny wasn't looking so hot
so I told him to take a nap
and I gave him a Valium.
You roofied Lenny?
So I was watching the
news yesterday
and it had this full
report on Chango Chicken.
Wait, don't change the subject.
You roofied Lenny.
[Scottie] You ever eaten there?
Yeah, the fast food
chicken chain.
What about it?
[Scottie] Yeah, so this report
was saying they tested
eight separate locations
over times
in the course of a month
and they found fecal matter
in the ice more than
% of the time.
[Scottie] Fecal matter.
That's sh*t.
Human sh*t.
Yeah, we know what that means.
[Daryl] Unbelievable.
- Right?
- How is that even possible?
Like mechanically?
Is that not the most f*cked
up thing you've ever heard?
I mean, you did just
roofie Lenny.
Hey, speaking of which, wanna
go see if it's game time?
Yeah.
Again, I feel like I
can't stress this enough,
you roofied Lenny.
He'll be fine.
[Daryl] Wakey wakey.
I don't think he'll be fine.
[Daryl] There we go.
- There we go.
- God damn it.
Why do you put that
sh*t all over him?
[Vin] You know he's
just gonna tear it off.
He looks awesome.
He does not look awesome.
- All right, it's feeding time.
- Sorry dude.
I don't feel so hot.
Yeah, 'cause he
f*cking drugged you.
Okay.
Okay Scottie, give him
some distance.
All right, come on.
Yeah, a lot of distance.
Don't forget what
happened in .
I f*cked up that cape.
Yeah.
- [groaning]
- [dramatic music]
Cheers.
Have I mentioned I
love this part
because I f*cking
love this part.
Morning!
Ahh!
This never gets old.
[Vin] I can't hear you
all when you're talking
all at the same time.
Some of you might be wondering
why you're here right now
and not at home safely tucked
away in your nightcaps.
Well, I'm gonna need
you to think long
and hard about your
recent actions.
Some of you might think
this is a little bit extreme
but to be honest we
don't give a sh*t
what you f*cking people think.
Here's why.
You don't seem to understand
because none of you give a sh*t
how your actions
affect other people.
And I for one,
did not go overseas
and risk my f*cking life
to come back here and
watch you f*cking dipshits
rip my country apart.
Yeah we didn't watch our
friend get all f*cked up
for you f*ck.
f*cking medical
testing bullshit.
Also that.
So now each and every
one of you
have a shot at redemption.
Redemption, yay!
Is his d*ck out?
Why is his d*ck out?
[Vin] There you go.
Kobe!
[Vin] Now,
I don't want any of you
to say that I'm not fair.
I want to give you all a
very fair chance.
So in the spirit of fairness
we're gonna let you guys go.
Y'all feel like running?
Your best bet is to
head for the tree line.
[Daryl] We won't
chase you there.
And I mean this in all
sincerity, good luck rabbits.
That means f*cking run!
[growling]
Oh, no, no, no, no.
[woman screaming]
[man screaming]
I didn't even f*cking
do anything.
[screaming]
Help!
[man groaning]
[woman screaming]
[Vin] No, no.
You don't know how to
follow instructions.
I love Halloween, I swear.
I swear.
What the f*ck is going on?
[woman screaming]
I can't hear and I
can't see anything.
[growling]
What the f*ck is that?
[cheering]
points.
[dramatic music]
Who the f*ck are you people?
[growling]
[screaming]
Ooh, points baby.
[man screaming]
What the f*ck?
What is that?
anybody?
[dramatic music]
[screaming]
f*ck!
Did you see that?
[Woman] Oh sh*t!
[growling]
[roaring]
[man screaming]
[Man] Help!
[Billy] Did you imagine that?
Lenny, Lenny, Lenny.
[roaring]
[screaming]
Help!
f*ck, no.
[Woman screams]
[dramatic music]
Help!
Help!
[growling]
[man screaming]
sh*t.
What the f*ck?
[grunting]
[dramatic music]
No, no, no, no, no.
Ooh, that was gross.
[growling]
Hey, Lenny.
We got some beers over
here whenever you're done.
Take your time, it's fine.
We got a lot of time.
So maybe fantasy football then?
Switch it up.
What the f*ck, Scottie?
Paul, what the hell, man?
- What happened?
- I don't know.
Do you think it's kids
f*cking around
or did you forget to pay
the power bill?
- Ow.
- f*ck off.
[crickets chirping]
Okay.
Wow.
Well, we apparently have
ghosts here at Psychotronic FM
and Chilly Billy has
stepped out with the sage
to cleanse the studio.
But in the meantime, we're
gonna be accepting calls
for one final story
request of the night.
Yeah, hang on a second.
Bill, I've got some
callers on the line.
What are you thinking about?
Do you got a story in mind?
Anything I can help
you out about
with like witches or zombies?
[stammers]
What flavor you want?
Give me anything.
I can spin the best of them.
Okay.
Yes.
Uh, let me ask him.
Hey, Bill, we've got a
caller on the line
saying she's been a fan of
yours for quite a while.
Want to take this one?
All right.
You've got Chilly Billy
on the line, sweetheart.
[Woman] Oh my God, Chilly Billy.
Yes.
Can you tell us the one
about the house on the hill?
None of my friends believe
me when I tell them
that ghost hunters came to town.
But of course darlin'.
You sound pretty young
so you must've been a kid
when those guys came to town.
[dramatic music]
It started out on a cold
and lonely night.
Kind of like tonight.
GPS looks like we should
be coming up on the house
in a few minutes.
Super creepy.
How do you even see out here?
This fog is so intense.
Watch out for that
down tree, Curtis.
[eerie music]
Wow.
I'm not paying you to
damage the equipment.
Hang tight.
I'll see what I can do.
I'll help you.
I'm not so sure how we're
gonna get out of this one,
it looks quite stuck.
All right team, Simon, Judy
and myself, we'll head up
to the house, start
getting things sorted.
Curtis, Vanessa,
you two stay back,
see if you can get the van
up the rest of the way.
Agreed?
Let's go.
See you guys.
Flash the headlights
when we arrive
and I'll signal with
my flashlight.
- All right?
- All right.
So how do you suppose
we get out of this one?
I don't know.
I just know that it's not
gonna be me digging it out.
Right.
My mom's the host of the show,
I don't have to do
any real work.
Fine, let's go find
some stupid stick.
[dramatic music]
Not funny, Curtis.
Cut it out.
Oh, come on now, it's Halloween.
[eerie music]
Well as you can see,
despite the fire damage,
the building repairs
look intact.
Let's go inside and see
what we can find.
[dramatic music]
So what made you want to travel
around the country
chasing ghosts?
Did you do any research
before joining this team
or are you just in it
for the paycheck?
Huh.
Why would I want to be
in these spooky a*s woods
without something in it for me?
I don't know.
Okay, so what is it then?
I mean you do realize that
none of this is real, right?
Like it's just about finding
the truth and then showing it.
See now that's what you think.
Y'all should be wise
with the spirits.
Respect them so they
respect you, look after you.
Eurgh.
Okay, now you just
sound like my mom.
Judy, you okay?
We kind of lost you
there for a second.
I'm fine, I'm fine.
I don't know what just
happened there.
I must be tired or, I don't
know, dehydrated or something.
- Judy
- Let's do this.
it looked like
you were kind of in pain
there for a moment.
Listen, if you need to take a
break, if you want to stop-
No, no, no, I'm good.
I'm good.
Let's just, let's move on.
- [dramatic music]
- [child laughing]
I'm okay.
years ago it was said
that a terrible tragedy
happened in this very room.
A young deranged boy
locked himself in the house
and set fire to it.
Sorry, Judy.
One sec.
Damn battery keeps dying.
[dramatic music]
Hello?
Hey. Hey, can you hear me?
At this rate we're gonna
have to go back for more.
We're ready.
All right, Judy.
Curtis, this is pointless.
Okay?
We should just go back
and ask for help.
Did you hear that?
There is nothing out here
that's gonna help us.
All right?
[dramatic music]
Like I said,
you just
have to have faith.
Judy?
[banging]
Judy?
Judy?
[Simon] Judy?
Right, maybe we should call it.
No, Tim.
No.
No way.
This house is trying to
tell us something.
Anyway, our research
has indicated
that a group of young
boys were with young Jacob
when he locked himself inside
to vandalize the contents
of this house.
The boys claimed
Jacob threatened violence
against them,
so they ran.
Oh, see that's why you
can't come trick or treating
with us tonight.
You're just a little baby.
Mommy's boy.
Wa.
That was good.
That was good.
You go into the basement,
you grab one of those old
comic books they left behind,
you can come out
with us tonight.
[tense music]
[dramatic music]
Our research shows us
that the fire originated
in the...
In the basement.
Though Judy protested
her instincts
her curiosity got the
better of her.
Judy knew Simon and Tim wouldn't
want to go in the basement
but she had to follow her
ghostly friend.
Tim, we're gonna need
more light down here.
Clearly.
As Tim helped Judy to her feet.
They slowly...
f*ck sake, Paul.
Help me fix whatever's going on.
Paul!
f*ck.
Damn it.
Jesus.
Sorry, Bill.
Well obviously we have
a power issue, so...
Do you want to just
call it a night?
This is our night.
I've got a new version of
the story, just get it on.
What the f*ck's
gotten in to you?
It's the f*cking power, man.
It should be back up in
about a minute.
Hey, Bill, can I see that?
Thanks.
- Hello?
- [Woman] Do you know how
difficult it is
for me to sit here
- and listen to
- You got the wrong number
[Woman] the story
inaccurately be represented.
Okay, well we already
told that story tonight.
So tune in next year, all right?
[Woman] You can not
imagine the pain
- that this has caused my family.
- Happy halloween to you
too, darling. Okay?
[Woman] This is wron-
Jesus.
Right, where were we?
Judy kept creeping down
those basement steps
not knowing what she was
about to find.
Jacob?
[tense music]
Make a sign.
[eerie music]
[dramatic music]
Oh, Jesus. What was that?
We're not here to hurt you.
Show yourself.
We mean you no harm.
Show yourself again.
We mean you no harm.
Jacob?
[dramatic music]
Oh, God.
Jacob?
It's on fire.
The house is on fire.
Little baby scared of the dark.
Let me out.
I set the room on fire.
Let me-
[tense music]
[child laughing]
Show yourself.
I said show yourself you
little f*cking snitch.
Judy knew the boy had
locked himself inside,
despite the reports of the
boys attempts to get him out.
[phone ringing]
Hello persistent caller,
how can I help you?
[Woman] Finally, your
story is wrong.
Wrong?
How can it be wrong?
It's my buddy's story.
[Woman] No, it's inaccurate.
How could you possibly
know this one?
[Billy] I've got a firsthand
source for this.
[Woman] Not as close as I do.
What's your name, lady?
[tense music]
[Curtis] Do you smell smoke?
Do you think it's the van?
No.
It smells like a forest fire.
You think you're gonna
blackmail me, huh?
[child laughing]
You ain't blackmailing me.
[clown laughing]
I hear you.
I hear you you f*cking punk.
Where you gonna run now, huh?
I got you, punk.
[dramatic music]
[Woman] How can you sit
there and listen to the story
of my family and have their
name dragged through the mud?
[Vanessa] Curtis, this thing
says that the house is on fire.
We gotta get them out of there.
[Judy] No, Jacob.
No, Jacob.
Let us out of here.
Come on, let's go.
I'm out of here.
Pull!
Pull! Pull the door!
Unlock the door.
It's stuck.
It won't move.
Pull.
No.
No, I can.
No, I can save him.
No, no.
No.
No, I can save him.
[dramatic music]
No, no, I can save him.
I can save him.
What's happening to her?
[dramatic music]
What happened in there?
My mother's last words
were about her and the boy.
And it's taken me years
to track down the one
who's responsible for
this tragedy.
Your firsthand source is a
lot more than a misled story.
He's the one who
caused all of it.
And who will pay for it.
Mark my words.
[dramatic music]
Paul?
Paul!
[Paul] Help.
Help. Help.
[dramatic music]
[Billy] Paul?
Paul?
No!
[gentle music]
[monster growling]
[Woman] There's a small bit
of justice in this world
for those who have been wronged.
You know you get really sleepy
after you eat white people.
Oh.
[indistinct chatter]
[Woman] For some we create
our own justice
and revel in the insanity.
That hits the spot, right?
So how many I get?
All of 'em.
Wait, hold on.
You got a little bit
of the pimp right here.
There you go, got him.
Yeah, it had glitter in it.
[Woman] Most have a worse
time figuring it all out.
While the tragic few rely
on others to stay sane,
or clean up our messes.
It can cross years before
we feel any retribution
or that the people who have
wronged us find their ends.
But one thing is for
sure, we're not alone.
[dramatic music]
[upbeat music]
Do you see that?
What in the f*ck?
Holy sh*t.
I knew it was Halloween.
But white people
gotta get it together.
[upbeat music]
Do you guys wanna go to
Waffle House?
- Yeah.
- I know you don't.
I'll start.
[upbeat music]
This could be it.
Go on, open up.
Come on, come on, come on.
I can't fit.
Come on, get in.
[upbeat music]
Come on, come on, come on.
Go.
Come on, come on, come on.
Come on. Jesus Christ.
[upbeat music]
♪ It's called the heebie
jeebie dance ♪
♪ It's called the heebie
jeebie dance ♪
♪ Oh, I've got the heebies,
I got the heebie jeebies ♪
♪ And I'm talking about ♪
♪ Got the heebie jeebie blues ♪
Hello?
Is anyone there?
sh*t.
f*ck this.
You wanna watch a movie?
- Yeah?
- Yeah.
Let's go snuggle.
Yeah.
♪ Called the heebie
jeebie dance ♪
♪ Baby don't ya know
come on show it ♪
♪ And we don't feel blue ♪
♪ Say come on down and
do that dance ♪
[indistinct chatter]
Like that.
- What's wrong with yours?
- It's a dude
- and that's his nose.
- What's wrong with your prostat?
What the hell is that?
- Look, mine's at least a d*ck.
- Keep on trucking, baby.
Mine is at least a d*ck.
sh*t job for my tit job.
I like that.
So when are you gonna do it?
The t*ts or the sh*t?
You did the sh*t already
so when are you gonna
do the t*ts?
I think I'll need to do
like more sh*t jobs
and then we're even.
Oh, okay.
I kinda want them like
boulder size.
Ah, yeah.
I mean like mechanically
how is that even po-
How flexible does your
a*s have to be
to sh*t in an ice machine?
I think you just put
your a*s in it.
Have you seen my a*s?
Get in the pumpkin.
[rock music playing]
♪ We are the antidote ♪
[calm music]
♪ We are alone ♪
♪ Standing over the edge ♪
♪ Looking out to the black ♪
♪ Each moment becomes an hour ♪
♪ Feels like I'm falling back ♪
♪ Dreaming while wide awake ♪
♪ Feeling my heart attack ♪
♪ Each moment becomes an hour ♪
♪ Feels like I'm falling back ♪
♪ Slipping into the black ♪
♪ Feels like falling ♪
♪ Reverse all the damage ♪
[eerie music]
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