Christmas on the Carousel (2021)

[bunniefuu]

♪ You don't have
to buy me flowers ♪

♪ I don't need no shiny jewels ♪

♪ Only one thing
on my wishlist ♪

♪ And baby, it is you ♪

♪ I don't want a little puppy ♪

♪ I don't need no fancy car ♪

♪ Promise me one small thing ♪

♪ You will be my
Christmas star ♪

♪ Every year on this day ♪

♪ I feel so alone ♪

♪ Least I'll have a cupid ♪

♪ I don't mind the cold ♪

♪ You don't have
to leave me boxes ♪

♪ Underneath that evergreen ♪

♪ Wrap yourself with
bows and ribbons ♪

♪ That's the best gift I need ♪

Is that a
candy cane in your pocket

or are you just happy to see me?

That wasn't startling at all.

You may not know this

but Christmas was originally
about a good solstice fright.

It's about time that
tradition was restored.

Could have sworn it
started in a manger actually,

little baby, three wise men.

No such thing.

You're talking fairytales

whereas I prefer an old
fashioned Victorian ghost story,

you know, emaciated cheekbones,

silver candelabras,

nightgowns that show
just a hint of ankle.

It was a good semester?

The greatest thing about
it were the A's I got.

I met a guy, lost a
guy, you know usual.

Do you want to-

- Talk about it?

Absolutely not.

The only man I want for
Christmas is you, sweet Greyson

sitting in the front
seat of this car.

Come on, get a shake on,

we got places to
go, people to see.

I thought we were
just going to dinner.

Yeah dinner, not just dinner.

Besides, you're in desperate
need of a wardrobe change.

What?

Greyson, I say this to you

with all of the love
in my cold dead heart.

You look like a homeless IT guy.

This is a nice sweatshirt.

Again, no such thing.

Besides, need I remind you

that you haven't seen
Sloane since the summer.

So?

Hot straight people
are exhausting.

Look, I have too seen
her since the summer,

we Facetimed

once

in September.

Get in the car.

♪ I don't want a little puppy ♪

♪ I don't need no fancy car ♪

♪ Promise me one small thing ♪

♪ You will be my
Christmas star ♪

Ugh, I thought
Michigan was cold.

Nothing like Christmas
in Connecticut.

Personally, I
kind of missed it.

The numb hands
or the icy lungs?

Both.

You are so weird.

There they are.

Stunning as always.

Speak for yourself.

It doesn't mean I wasn't
addressed to myself.

There he is.

Mrs. Everdeen.

Ugh, I saw the
videos on Instagram.

You totally slayed.

- Shut up.
- But I need the bootleg too, girl,

where is it?

Oh my gosh, I actually do
have one clip from rehearsal.

You'll have to
see, I optioned up.

Ugh, I'm salivating.

Well I guess some
things never change.

Thank you.

You're welcome.

♪ It's Christmas time ♪

♪ Grab your coat,
it's getting cold ♪

Callie, since when
are you a beer drinker?

I mean I'm only doing this

because my New Year's
resolution is to be more butch.

UMich Is still a state school.

I tailgate now.

Ooh, plot twist.

Party don't start till
the MT kids show up.

I once met this football guy

that I could beat
him in a keg stand

and when he lost,

I forced him to learn
the opening choreography

from "A Chorus Line".

He was shockingly not bad.

- Oh my God, did he wear the sparkly tights?
- I wish but I did get his number out of it.

Okay girl, I'll drink to that.

Ooh, to the only friends
from high school,

I can still stand to be around.

You guys make
coming back worth it.

Cheers.

I'm gonna miss it.

What's that mean?

My mom is moving to Boston.

Ew, why?

Well it's not until summer

so Paige can finish
middle school,

but she wants to be
closer to her parents and

I don't know, it's not
really my decision.

Well, Boston's not that far.

I know and it might
as well happen now

because we're all graduating

but it does feel kind
of seismic, you know?

Kind of seismic?

Isn't that kind of an oxymoron?

I mean not all
earthquakes knock you down.

Some are just tremors.

Okay Confucius.

To new chapters then.

May this one have
a happy ending.

All right.

R.I.P. Sloane.

Oh my God girl, I can see how
you won that keg stand, jeez.

Okay should we
get another round,

switch to hot toddies?

I think I'm actually
gonna call it here.

The last three years have
not been kind to my liver.

- Ugh, lame.
- Lame.

- I have to get a head start on some Christmas shopping too.
- Girl, that's on you.

I have work tomorrow but
I don't care, let's go.

You got a job?

Yes, I am in fact working

at the famed Christmas
carousel downtown.

It's been super fun,

but please come visit me

because it's just as
boring as it sounds.

Isn't that the place where
our high school acapella group

went caroling?

Oh my God, yes

where you did that
iconic rendition of

"Oh Holy Night"

Exactly.

I think it's still
on YouTube somewhere.

Oh my God, pull
it up, pull it up.

I'm gonna head out with you.

Okay.

I hope the crowds are not
too much to handle tomorrow.

I'm not stressed about it.

My mom's just showing
the house tomorrow

so I want to get back beforehand

so I can get Paige
out of the picture.

She basically accosted
the last family

for their color design choices.

Shh.

I can watch her
tomorrow if you want,

makes it less stressful.

You don't have to do that.

No, I want to.

'Tis the season, right?

Yeah okay.

Good?

Yeah.

I'm down there.

So anything I
should know about Paige?

What are you talking about?

You've met her before.

Yeah, but not with this
level of responsibility.

Does she have a peanut
allergy, favorite song,

a specific emotional trauma

I should do everything
I can to avoid?

Well, I mean-

- Right sorry.

Don't be.

That was really stupid.

It was a long time ago.

- Why would you remember?
- No, it's not that I forgot, it's just-

- It happens.
- Not with her.

Not tomorrow, I promise.

It's not like we
don't talk about him.

She's not gonna break
if you bring him up.

I will tread lightly, sorry.

You're fine.

It's really good
to see you, Sloane.

It's really good
to see you too.

Familiar faces are kind of
a hot commodity these days.

Yeah.

Yeah I feel like at school
it's this like sea of faces,

people that I recognize
but don't like know.

I mean I have guys
that I hang out with,

but it's not like we have roots,

not like here, not like this.

Sorry, I forgot, sorority queen,

you probably have no idea
what I'm talking about.

Oh no, I do, trust me.

The drunken rebels were fun,

but honestly I'm kind
of looking forward

to a quiet Christmas.

Salute's still open I think

if you want to
maybe get another-

- Oh I would but Paige is
actually waiting for me.

We read Christmas
stories to each other

every night the week
leading up to the big day.

Dad used to do it with us so-

- Totally.

She's up late.

Yeah, total night owl.

The hot chocolate obsession

I'm sure has something
to do with it.

Right I know that life.

I'm that way so I can just
see you in the morning.

Yeah, I'll see you tomorrow.

Cool, tomorrow.

Oh, what do you
want for Christmas?

I'll see what I can muster
up while I'm out tomorrow.

Surprise me.

You're asking for it.

How come we can't just
do content that's like

based around our shimmering
personalities, you know?

Well, if we want
it to go viral Henry,

we have to make something
that's eye-catching

so that stop scrolling
and actually watch.

Okay, but see like this
choreography, it's all arms.

I'm gonna end up looking

like one of those
flailing inflatable tubes

that's at the car dealership.

Exactly, eye-catching.

Fine.

Can we at least give
them vocals or something?

Oh, like an intro?

- Mmm yeah like an intro.
- I love it.

Okay so what if it's,
"Hey there TikTok",

Hallelujah chorus

major third and I'm on top?

Okay but you're,
I'm never on top.

Okay, you can be on top.

Great.

Okay so it's like

♪ Hey, hey ♪

♪ Hey there TikTok ♪

- Booked.
- That's the one.

- Yeah.
- Yeah.

Nailed it.

Can we get one
more round please?

Oh, yeah.

Oh you're closing?

Sorry.

♪ Make your list
and check it twice ♪

Greyson, sweetie, how are you?

Hey, Mrs. Peterson,
long time, no see.

Too long.

Come here, give me a hug.

I like that jacket.

Thank you.

Come in, how's school?

It's good.

Accelerating.

Uh, too fast, I know.

It only seems to speed
up as you get older.

I mean it's Christmas
again already.

I'm noticing.

At least when I'm here though,

it feels like I can press
pause if that makes sense.

It's always been
the same for me,

familiar roads and
unfamiliar time.

Want one?

Oh, I'm good, thanks.

I'm hoping Boston will also,

oh I'm assuming Sloane told you?

Yeah, she did.

Still not sure it's
the right decision,

but it's a time of transition

and it just seems to be where
the inertia's taking us.

I'm sure you
wouldn't be doing it

if it wasn't the right move.

You want to hear a secret?

Sure.

Life never stops feeling

like a test you haven't
studied enough for.

You just get better
at faking it.

Mom, you didn't
tell me he was here.

Hey Greyson.

Hey.

We were just catching up.

He's my friend too.

It's after 10.

Don't you have that
showing in a few minutes?

Oh my goodness, you're right.

Greyson, I am sorry.

I have to go tidy a few things.

You're good.

But if I don't catch
you again before Christmas

please have a merry one

and tell your parents
the same, okay?

Absolutely.

Paige is just upstairs.

She's choosing her outfit.

Naturally.

Thanks again for
doing this by the way.

I'm getting better

at the whole
procrastination thing, but.

You're actually saving me.

I'd just be watching "A Christmas
Story" for the 100th time

so I should be the
one thanking you.

Oh my God, remember when you
tried the tongue pull thing

in third grade?

Remember when I tried
to actively forget that

and you keep bringing it
back to life every year?

Yeah well don't
give her any ideas.

Ah, I wouldn't dream of that.

Paige, he's here.

Well he has to
wait, I'm not ready yet.

I'll go get her.

I'll see you later?

Yeah.

Paige!

Hold on, Sloane!

I don't need a
babysitter, you know?

Oh yeah, totally,
I just you know-

- Wanted to hang out with a 10 year old?
- I mean when you say it like that,

it sounds kind of-

- Are you worried I'm
gonna tell my sister

I didn't have a
fun time with you?

I didn't know that was
the thing that might happen.

Are you not having a fun time?

I'm just like wondering,
you can tell me.

It's not like a big
deal or anything.

Wait, were you guys
talking about me?

Wait, what did she say?

Just that her super
sweet high school friend

was gonna keep me company

while she finished
getting ready for Santa.

Okay and did she say
super sweet like super sweet

or like super sweet?

I don't remember.

Do you want like a hot chocolate or
something, jog your memories, is that gonna?

No.

Okay, how 'bout
a carousel ride?

h*, h*, h*.

Whoa, whoa, whoa.

I want the hat.

Two please.

Greyson, come
on, I want the hat.

And a Santa hat if
you have any extras.

Hello Paige.

Hello Henry.

Unfortunately, we don't have
any hats that match this one,

but in the spirit of the season

I suppose no one will
really notice if-

- If uniforms are missing?

Hi Brynn, what a
pleasant surprise,

I thought you were on
your lunch break still.

I actually clock
in on schedule.

Hmm, imagine that.

Here you go.

Thanks.

Okay I just want
to go on record

saying that it was my idea

to give her the hat
in the first place

and now you're the one
taking credit for it.

God love her,

our verbal warfare

is the only thing getting
me through this gig.

Here.

Oh God no.

You sure?

It's a carousel, Greyson.

I don't work on commission.

Right.

Not lot the people
here anyway, right?

Yeah, never a
lot of people here.

It's kind of on its
last legs actually.

They're saying they might have to
only open it part-time next year.

Really?

We loved this place
when we were kids.

Well times change,
attention spans get shorter,

VR gets better.

Could you help me
film this TikTok?

Sure.

Thank you.

Yeah, take a few steps back,

get like as much of the
background as possible.

Really helpful.

I want to get the whole
kind of depressing backdrop.

I think it might, the proscenium,
yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah,

SAT word, love it.

Small one, if you could take
a step just to your right.

What?

Nothing.

Thank you so much.

Okay I'll give you like a
quick five, six, seven, eight

and then you'll hit the start, the record
button, just like hold it down while I do it.

I know what to do.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Okay, you ready?

I'm
ready, are you ready?

Alright, practicing
this all day.

I'm gonna k*ll it.

Okay, five, six, seven, eight.

Nope.

Ugh, ah, oh okay, that
was it, you can hit that.

That's
it, are we done?

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

- That was it?
- That was it.

- We're, that was it?
- Yeah, I'll take the phone.

Was it good?

I don't want to hear,
I don't want to hear a word out of you.

Nice.

Okay, we'll have
Callie look at it.

Here.

You know what?

We'll just take as
many as you want,

ride as many times as you want.

We'll just have them run
it until you're sick of it.

How's that sound?

Great.

Christmas miracle.

Christmas miracle.

Louise!

Hey mom.

Sorry, I know you're busy,
but I was just wondering

do you think Paige would
like a journal for Christmas?

I was about her age
when I started, yeah,

yeah okay, sure.

Yeah totally.

I mean I was just
thinking she might,

yeah okay.

I'll keep looking.

I love you too, bye.

Hey Paige.

What's up?

You have any idea what your
sister wants for Christmas?

I don't know, why?

She said she was
getting me something

and I just don't want to-

- Be that guy.

Right, so in the interest
of not being that guy,

if you think of anything,
just let me know.

Okay, well what's your budget?

My budget?

Yeah, what's she worth to you?

I don't think it
works like that.

I think it does.

I think you're
being a little commercialistic.

What's that mean?

Commercialistic means

like you're equating
money with value for,

you know just let me know
if you think of something,

that'd be great.

Okay, got it.

- Is that it?
- It's cute,

but Renegade is like way old.

Yeah, it's a throwback.

Not quite.

It's too new to be vintage,
too old to be fresh.

But it's seasonal.

Right, the song choice,
I got the Santa hat.

Yeah, which helps, but-

- No, you're right.

What if I went full instagay
and did it shirtless?

I think we need
production value.

Isn't that what I just said?

If you do it shirtless,

you're gonna look even more

like one of those
inflatable tubes

flailing outside
a car dealership.

Uh!

I'm just saying,
use the setting.

Hmm.

So what, pole dancing
on a carousel horse?

Oh my gosh, my friends
and I actually took a class

during reading days.

It's like way harder
than you think.

They're like athletes.

So that's a yes?

No, no Henry, we need
to control ourselves.

Just because the internet

is full of teenagers
gyrating for clout

doesn't mean we need
to stoop to that level.

Fair.

Hey guys.

Hey Sloane.

Oh you can head in.

They've been in there
for like an hour.

Thanks.

Actually, my dearest Sloane,

you wouldn't happen to know

of any scenic/visually
interesting locals

in say a 15 mile
radius, would you?

It's for the TikTok.

Oh, they decorate the golf
course with Christmas lights.

Ew, no too sporty.

Fair.

Oh, I'm sure you've
heard of that museum

where they have all the old
Christmas carousel horses

on display.

I certainly have not, do tell.

I have to grab
Paige but Google it.

I haven't been in a long time,

but my dad used to take
me when I was little.

I thought it was pretty cool.

I didn't think people
cared enough about carousels

outside seasonal
shopping mall trips

and problematic
golden age musicals.

Yeah, it sounds
kind of terrifying.

Perfect.

- Pony?
- No.

- Diamond?
- Nope.

A reasonably
priced skincare set?

Yeah somehow I think she'd
take that the wrong way.

You know I do still have
Christmas shopping to do

if you guys want to
keep hanging out.

Sloane, why haven't
you taken me here before?

I don't know.

It's so cool.

Yeah it is pretty
cool, isn't it?

Yeah.

How was she?

Great.

And how was he?

Fun, really fun actually.

I was impressed.

Hmm, good to know.

Clear your calendars, folks.

We have a plan.

For?

Going viral by way of

A Christmas lock-in.

Sloane told us all
about this museum

that has these old
carousel pieces in it.

Ooh, is that the
place where dad?

Yeah, the vintage
fireman exhibit.

Anyway, we swiped the
key from Brynn's office

and I was thinking we could all
meet up there later tonight.

Cool, that sounds fun.

Ooh, I want to go.

I think this might
be a big kid outing.

No, no, bring her.

Clearly she and Greyson
are getting along.

Not to mention Henry's
social media instincts

could use a little
generational jewel.

You could say that again.

You can say that again.

Shh.

She's worse than you.

Okay, your stuff's in the car,

my stuff's mostly in the car in.

In case you get hungry.

I thought you were saving
these till tomorrow?

We've got plenty,

plus Paige wants to taste test.

It's a Christmas necessity.

The snow should
stop by midnight

so you won't have any trouble

getting out in the morning.

I saw.

Thanks for being cool with
us doing this tonight.

The museum used to do overnight
lock-ins when I was a kid.

Glad you two are
getting the chance.

Me too.

Maybe Santa will come.

Why would Santa come the
night before Christmas Eve?

Test run, Sloane, duh.

Reindeer are drawn to similar
creatures, like horses.

Even wooden ones?

Especially wooden ones.

They remind them of
like the toyshop.

How do you not know this?

All right, you two
better get going.

I'll see you tomorrow.

Love you both.

Love you too, mom.

All right, let's go.

Oh remember his
helmet's there.

Say hi for me.

♪ Hark how the bells ♪

♪ Sweet silver bells ♪

♪ All seem to say ♪

♪ Throw cares away ♪

♪ Christmas is here ♪

♪ Bringing the cheer ♪

♪ Too young and old ♪

♪ Meek and the bold ♪

♪ Ding-Dong, ding-dong ♪

♪ That is the song ♪

- Hey.
- Hey.

- Hey.
- Hey.

It's just us?

Henry already opened up,

but we decided to hang back

so your welcoming party

wouldn't just be a
bunch of horse heads

statues, horse head statues.

Noted and appreciated.

Can we go in now?

I'm freezing.

You're wearing
like three layers.

I need hot chocolate.

They got hot chocolate in here?

I don't know.

I think we'll have to ask Henry.

This place is huge.

You guys know where they are
or should I give 'em a call?

Oh yeah, they're-

- Ooh perfect timing, we
need someone to record us.

This might be the one.

Unique setting, check,

gorgeous lighting, check.

Simple but effective
choreography, double check.

Ooh.

Callie, I'm gonna need
you to do a full out

on that please.

I'm trying.

Okay we gotta capture
this moment quick.

Sloane, if you could be a doll,

take my phone,
adore you as always,

thank you so much.

Maybe like a low angle.

- Like down here?
- Wait, no, no, no, no, hold on,

I don't want to
get a double chin.

It's dramatic.

It's social suicide.

This was a mistake.

Yeah.

Excuse me, what
was that Tiny Tim?

I didn't think things
could get any worse,

but I'm honestly for you.

And what, pray tell,

makes you an expert on
the subject, hey mambo?

Sloane, could you please
take this street urchin

to some peripheral exhibit

so we can finish
our TikTok in peace?

Henry, the blood is
rushing to my head.

I don't think I-

- If you can go full out
for a 10 out of 12 Callie,

you can hold that
tableau for 60 seconds.

You know what?

I'm gonna find the wifi for us.

I'm sure you guys
are gonna have this.

Just watch them, make sure
they don't hurt themselves.

Have a great time.

It's gonna be great.

Yeah sure walk away, Greyson

right when the stakes
couldn't be any higher.

I'll be there.

Sloane, can I check
the monitor please?

Actually, I think
he might be right.

Paige, do you want to go on
a quick tour of the museum,

let these guys talk it out?

Maybe we can film that
when the dust settles.

If that ever happens.

Amateurs, both of you.

Right Callie?

Callie?

Oh my God, Callie.

Got ya.

Holy sheet music,

I thought you had passed out.

So good, right?

I did Juliet in scene
study last semester

and I had to control
my breathing like that

for a full seven
minutes after the whole

oh happy dagger business.

Okay diaphragm work.

Was Romeo cute?

Not my type but Paris
was a snack and a half.

We love a good Paris.

Yeah.

See Paige when you've studied
the classics extensively

like Callie and I have

maybe then we'll
listen to your advice.

Back to our ones.

Okay, ready?

Five, six, seven, eight.

This one's my favorite.

Oh yeah, why?

'Cause of her eyes,
she looks so happy.

You know it says here

that there are two
sides to each horse,

the romance side and
the apprentice side.

Tell me more.

"The romance side
is ornately carved

and beautifully detailed,

the side the everyone looking
from the outside sees."

I think that's the side
we're looking at now.

I think so too.

"The apprentice side is
often cruder, less polished,

some may even say imperfect.

It is hidden from spectators

and only viewable once the
rider has boarded the carousel."

I never knew that.

Me either.

You know, I liked both sides
when I was riding today.

Yeah?

I liked that they
were different.

Oh, here's another sign.

"Most people do not know

that the carousel
horse's belly is hollow.

So when the animals
are being restored,

they often find
interesting things inside

making some people call them
the original time capsules."

Sloane?

Hey.

Okay Henry's
pouting in the corner

about me having to come and ask,

but we need Paige's help.

They always come
crawling back.

What's in it for me?

$10 cash and an extensive
cloud-based library

of Broadway bootleg
scores and librettos

for any audition ever.

I'll take the cash, but sheet
music means nothing to me.

I think I have a bag
of Skittles in my purse.

Fun size or full?

Full definitely.

All right deal.

Uh bless up, thank you.

Sloane, pray for them.

Let's go.

Aren't there better
things to be doing

than whatever it
is you are doing?

Plenty, but I'm
kind of on a deadline.

For what?

Last paper of the semester.

You're not done yet?

I am inching my way
toward the finish line.

I thought I was gonna attack
it this afternoon but-

- Oh God Greyson,

I could've handled things with
Paige, you didn't have to-

- I wanted to.

And besides, I'm almost done.

Cool.

I'll leave you to it if you-

- Oh no stay.

I work better with the
occasional distraction.

What class?

Theory of knowledge.

Sounds pretentious.

It is.

Topic?

What Christmas means to me.

Don't.

Seriously?

It's not as easy as it sounds.

I don't know,

it seems kind of
like a gimme to me.

Well, you're a writer.

Hardly.

Sloane.

Let me read it.

Yeah, I'm good.

Come on.

It's a work in progress.

Oh, it's a work in progress?

Yeah, it's like work
that I'm progressing on.

Yeah, yeah, well
unfortunately for you

I wasn't asking.

Sloane, we're not
doing this right now.

Maybe you're not, but I am.

You're literally, my laptop!

I literally have to submit this

in like 30 minutes.

How old
is this, like a 2008?

Do you even know
where you're going?

Okay careful, careful,

sharp objects, pointy things.

Why?

If I accidentally impale myself

you'll get your laptop back.

But at what cost?

Aw.

Okay, whoa, whoa,
whoa, whoa, okay Sloane,

what's it gonna be?

You seem really
concerned about this.

Are you afraid I'm gonna
find something incriminating?

You know I think I'm actually

a little bit more concerned

about getting this
paper in on time

so I don't fail this class.

Oh I didn't know you
were doing so poorly

that one paper could
make or break you.

Yeah, I think
college has changed me.

Bummer, your work ethic

was one of your more
attractive qualities.

Ouch.

Okay, okay, stop, stop, stop.

Okay Callie, you look
great, you look awesome.

Henry, you need chill.

You just kind of
look like you're-

- I swear to God
you little rugrat,

if you say I look like a
flailing inflatable tube

outside the car
dealership, I'm going to-

- Paige, save me!

Quick, quick, quick, quick.

Paige hi, tell your sister

to give me my laptop back.

Why, you got something

that's gonna put you
on the naughty list?

No, definitely, that was no.

Sloane, need I remind you

of the numerous times you've
chased me around the house

in an adolescent rage every
time I stole your diary?

See Sloane, even a
nine year old gets it.

Nine and three-quarters.

Sorry.

Thank you.

Want to tell me about the diary?

Journal and
don't push it, pal.

You guys didn't
break anything, right?

Because if you did,

it's gonna be coming out of my
already very modest paycheck.

Just their dignity.

Thanks, how's your quest for
social media stardom going?

Uh.

Less than optimal.

You just said
I looked awesome.

It only takes one weak link.

I really don't know

how you and Donna
put up with her.

You gotta admit
she knows her stuff.

Unless you two want to join

I really got to get back to work

with Fred and Ginger over here.

Solid reference.

Yeah, for real.

I pride myself
on my good taste.

Actually, that
sounds kind of fun.

Are you down for a study break?

Yeah, I might not be able

to be part of a full
production number,

but I think I can throw a
little something into the mix.

All right, hit me.

Twas the night before Christmas
and all through the house

not a creature was
stirring, not even a mouse.

The stockings were hung
by the chimney with care

in hopes that St. Nicholas
soon would be there.

And mama in her
kerchief and I in my cap

had just settled down
for a long winters nap.

Five, six, seven, eight.

♪ Away to the window
I flew like a flash ♪

♪ Tore open the shutters
and threw up the sash ♪

♪ To the top of the porch ♪

♪ To the top of the wall ♪

♪ Now dash away, dash
away, dash away all ♪

Okay great.

Henry, fall in,
fall in, fall in.

You guys are,
you're not centered.

Smile, smile.

I don't think he can do that.

Why?

I just think
he's not at UMich.

Yeah, k*lling it.

We should just turn
it off and look away.

Turn it off, where
are we gonna go?

Away.

And energy and energy.

Okay, okay I see, okay.

That was good, that was good.

She's embarrassing.

What do you mean
she's embarrassing?

She's nice, I like Sloane.

No kidding.

What?

Ooh, uh uh.

Retake.

Okay so it's like savage,
savage, savage love.

Does anybody else know it?

Merry Christmas to all.

And to all a good night.

Nailed it,
I think we got it, guys.

That was it.

I'm so out of shape.

We need to do more Zumba.

That was really hard.

You're the one who's going
to dance class every day.

Hey Zumba's great,

we should do that
together sometime.

How's my pulse?

How's my pulse?

Yeah are you okay?

That was good.

That was really
good, guys actually.

Yeah I think that was pretty,

I think we did it.

It didn't suck.

Didn't suck, yeah.

I have to go submit that paper

but I think this
is ready to post

so I'm gonna give
you your phone back.

Here, go for it.

You were the best.

Whew, all right I already
want to make another one.

I'm gonna go see if I
can find another spot.

Oh girl you go ahead,
I'll edit this one.

And I think
someone is crashing

because of all that
sugar they ate.

Mmhmm.

Mmhmm.

If that thing goes viral,

I want to get my royalties.

This exhibit is so random.

What do firefighters have
anything to do with carousels?

I don't know,
similar time periods.

Any of your dad's stuff here?

The memorial plaques
down at the station,

but we visited a few times.

He wanted to teach me

about the brotherhood
forged in flames.

And I thought I was dramatic.

He had an
act for embellishment.

I remember on career
day in second grade,

he kept cracking jokes
about my head being on fire,

said he was gonna
bust out the hose.

Oh my God, that's
mortifying, I'm sorry.

It was funny,
no such thing as bad press.

For you, I'm sure.

You should've seen me my
first semester, so rough.

I actually never
told you guys this,

but there was time
when I thought

they were gonna cut
me from the program.

Can they do that?

Most conservatories
do at least once a year.

Ours is every semester.

You're kidding?

That's showbiz, babe.

God, I can't even imagine.

100 no's for
that one glorious yes.

Still putting yourself out
there like that every day

just to get turned down.

It's really-

- Brutal?

I was gonna say brave.

Really?

Most people would
probably say crazy.

It's kind of the
same thing, no?

What do you mean?

Running headlong into
something so dangerous.

It may seem beautiful
in pictures and movies,

but get too close and it burns.

And sometimes when it's
really bad, it destroys,

nothing left but ash.

Forget premed, you
should have gone to school

for playwriting.

From the way you describe it,

art school would not be my jam.

My skin's not
nearly thick enough.

Look, of course
it's terrifying.

Every audition I go on,
it's like is my outfit okay?

Did I pick the right song?

Are they just gonna cast

some blue check
Hollywood D-lister

who can't even
sing to begin with?

But none of that stuff matters.

All you have to do is know
that you are good enough.

You are, Sloane.

And I'm not the only
one who thinks so.

A helmet might help
in the meantime.

My dad used to say that
having a team that you trusted

was better than any helmet.

Well, you've got that too.

And it won't change

no matter how many times
zones apart we are.

Okay, I need a cute Instagram.

Henry, story or grid?

One sec, I'm looking
at hot vintage fireman.

Ah, my type.

She asleep?

Out like a light.

Good.

Henry and Callie?

Impromptu photo sh**t.

Safe to say they'll be
occupied until sunrise.

That tracks.

You all submitted?

Yeah, timestamped 10
minutes to midnight,

right under the wire.

Thanks again for
the distraction.

Ah, anytime.

It was fun there.

Honestly, I don't know

whether to be impressed
or intimidated

that you know that
whole thing by heart.

Oh definitely intimidated.

I totally favor
fear over love so-

- Thought so.

How's Paige feeling
about the move?

She's okay.

She'll miss her friends,

but she's always been good
at rolling with the punches.

Totally.

What about you?

The move, how are
you feeling about it?

I don't know.

I haven't really
thought about it.

Weird, I guess.

Yeah.

I mean, it doesn't
really affect me, right?

Like it shouldn't
affect me, but I mean-

- Why?

Why what?

Why shouldn't it affect you?

Because I don't live
here anymore, not really.

Well, it's your home.

Yeah, but what
does that even mean?

Home?

Yeah.

It means home I
guess, I don't know.

Dictionary will be able

- to edify.
- Seriously?

Yeah, of course.

In or out Sloane, come on?

Fine.

All right, here we go.

Okay, "Home, one's
place of residence."

Not so much.

Okay, one's place of origin.

Closer.

Okay, alternate
definitions include

relaxed and comfortable, in
harmony with one's surroundings.

Mmhmm.

And on familiar ground.

Well, I guess if we're going
with that definition then

I'm feeling kind of sad.

Sad?

Yeah, sad.

Yeah same.

What?

What?

Come on.

Uh uh, it's nothing.

Well, if it's nothing,
you might as well say it.

I'm just gonna miss you.

Why?

Why?

Yeah I mean we only see
each other a few times a year,

we both have lives,

- what's there to miss?
- Sloane!

What?

I told you last night

it's like a sea
of people, faces.

Yeah, yeah, but you
must have friends.

Of course I have friends.

I'm not.

They just don't,
you make me, you,

you make me feel um

relaxed and comfortable,

in harmony with my
surroundings and

on familiar ground.

Same.

Really?

Yeah, really.

Why is that so hard to believe?

I mean you mean same like
oh that's really sweet,

same, that's really-

- I mean what you mean.

You know the
carousel's the place

I realized I was
in love with you?

I...

Did not.

Yeah well it's a true story.

We were sophomores and it
was Christmas time obviously

and you were there with Paige
and your mom and your dad

and we'd just gotten out last
day of school before break

and you had done this like
crazy presentation in world civ,

totally crushed it.

I fell on the floor,
it was intimidating

and I was like

I don't know I was
like reeling from it.

And then I saw you at the
carousel and you just looked

effortless like it had
never even happened.

And you were in this

red sweater and black skirt

and your hair was in this braid,

I really don't know why
I'm telling you this.

Yeah you do.

Why didn't you say
something before?

I didn't know what it was.

And when I did it was
just never the right time.

I remember that
night too, you know.

You were in a penguin suit.

Why would I be in a tux?

No, a onesy, a
literal penguin suit

like Paige's fuzzy thing.

So stupid, I was so weird.

Yeah, you were.

I thought it was kind of cute.

Yeah?

Yeah.

Hey kiddo, what's up?

I think I
heard Santa Clause.

What do you mean
you heard Santa Clause?

I heard
a bunch of noise.

He was coming from the chimney.

Let's
go check it out.

This way?

Yeah.

It's Christmas magic.

He must be close.

I can't believe we missed him.

That Kris Kringle's slippery.

That's how he gets
down the chimney.

Don't be ridiculous, Sloane.

He adjusts his
molecular structure

using an unprecedented
combination

of Christmas magic
and elf technology.

It puts NASA to shame.

I can't tell if it's a
good thing or a bad thing

that you grew up
with the internet.

Excuse me, I'm not the
one who spent all night

making amateur TikToks.

I gave them pointers and
they didn't even listen.

Sounds about right.

I'm glad we did this.

Will you stay with me
until I fall asleep?

Always.

Hey, Greyson.

Hey, I was hoping
you'd find me.

Listen, I think we got a
little carried away back there.

Sorry, did
something just happen?

No, nothing.

I was just thinking that we-

- 'Cause we just said-

- Yes.

And we?

Yes, we did.

Am I that bad of a kisser?

Greyson, come on.

Sorry I just

thought you were following me

for the exact opposite reason.

I know.

I get it, I'm sorry,

I just, I think it's better
that I get this out now.

Get what out?

I can't do
something right now.

I can't be anything.

I'm not asking you to.

You kind of are.

How?

What did I?

Greyson, you just told me
that you're in love with me.

I didn't, Sloane no, like no,

like I meant like-

- I know
what you meant.

Great, so we're
on the same page?

I mean what you mean,
that's what you said,

we're good.

I shouldn't
have said that.

I'm sorry.

You shouldn't have said that?

I told you I got carried away.

So you didn't mean it?

That's not
what I'm saying either.

Okay, great, what
are you saying?

I'm saying I leave for
winter term in less than a week

and then senior
spring and then summer

and then I don't know a
job or traveling, whatever.

I do know that I don't
want to offer something

that I can't give you.

How do you know what I'm
looking for you to offer

or what I want?

You haven't asked me,

we haven't talked about it.

That's just it, Greyson,
I can't talk about it.

I can't have any
distractions right now.

There's too much at stake.

I'm a distraction?

Don't do that.

Some late night
Christmas hookup

that's just gonna
be the talked about?

How can you even say that?

This is how can you say
what you're saying right now

when you've talked to me
about these guys that are,

what did you say?

They're just there,
they're not great,

but they're just here, right?

Greyson, I had
just lost my dad.

I was figuring things out.

Okay well it makes me feel

like I'm not worth the time.

It's not about you.

Yeah but we just
leveled with each other

and now you're just trying
to like snuff it out

instead of just
like let it breathe.

Like why?

Sloane, I just, I don't,

Sloane, I really like you.

I like you, too.

Okay, great, so
what's the problem?

I'm sorry.

Okay um,

I'm gonna go to bed.

Greyson?

Sloane, this isn't
going anywhere.

And I don't want to
be a distraction so

I'm gonna go to bed.

Mmm, she's finally awake.

How's the view count looking?

Less than stellar.

What?

Are you kidding me?

You post all of it?

Yeah, I copied and
paste all the hashtags

you told me about including
FYP and all variations of it.

Ugh, damn it.

I thought I was a drama major.

Yeah, well I thought that app

was supposed to be designed
for people to go viral.

Maybe people are just
busy with family time.

Henry, come on.

Hey, hey, where's the fire?

I got to go do some last
minute Christmas shopping.

On Christmas Eve?

Yeah, it kind of
slipped my mind.

Just call me and we can-

- At this rate,

all that's gonna be left are
socks and prepaid gift cards.

We were supposed to get brunch.

Someone's got coal up his butt.

Hmm, I mean the guy
schedules his bathroom breaks

in iCalendar.

There's no way he
would have put off

Christmas shopping this late.

Sloane, you good?

Yeah I just, I
didn't sleep well.

I'll be sure to let Brynn know

the accommodations
could use some work.

Paige is getting crabby.

Can we maybe do
brunch another day?

I'm pretty sure Greyson's
going back the 26th, right?

Well then, I got
to go, text me?

Okay fine.

You know, this would
actually be a super cute idea.

Airbnb the place at night
and during the off season.

It's kind of a niche stay.

That's one way to put it.

Come on, there are
people who pay out the nose

to stay in hotels that
are supposedly haunted.

Fair point but
carousel enthusiasts,

do those even exist?

It's the internet,
you never know.

All right, let's
go, I'm starving

and I was promised
diner pancakes.

Or what if, hear me out,

since our lamer halves are MIA,

we check out that new
gastro pub downtown?

I hear they do
bottomless mimosas.

A man after my own heart.

Girl, you know it.

♪ Oh holy night ♪

♪ The stars are
brightly shining ♪

♪ It is the night ♪

♪ Of our dear savior's birth ♪

♪ Long lay the world ♪

Hey dad.

Hey Greyson,
how'd it go last night?

Yeah, yeah, it was fun.

You still there?

I thought you'd be home by now.

I'm at the high
school actually.

Didn't know if one of
the doors would be open.

Greyson,
do you know what day it is?

Yeah, yeah, I know
it's Christmas Eve.

I just thought one of the
custodians might be around

and I was feeling
kind of nostalgic.

You could
always go to the track.

Walks there always
clear my head.

Yeah maybe.

Just
spitballing, you know me.

Yeah that's a
good idea, thanks.

Listen,
just be home by 4:30, okay?

Yeah, I'll see
you guys in a few.

All right buddy.

See you soon.

Bye.

♪ Fall on your knees ♪

♪ Oh hear the angel voices ♪

♪ Oh night divine ♪

♪ Oh night, oh night divine ♪

♪ Oh night ♪

♪ Oh night divine ♪

You are
so predictable.

You know that right?

Homework on the bleachers
the day before break?

Yeah well you know I like
getting ahead on stuff.

Clearly.

I wanted to give you
this before in class,

but I didn't get
a chance so here.

Sloane, I didn't-

- Promise me you won't
open it until Christmas.

I didn't know,

I didn't get you anything.

That's not what it's about.

That's very nice of you.

It was my dad's idea partly.

What is it?

That question kind
of defeats the purpose

of the exercise, Greyson.

Could you give me a hint?

I could.

But you won't?

No.

Okay.

Well tell him I said thank you.

I will.

He likes you, you know?

You good, bro?

Yeah, I was just-

- Reminiscing, huh?

Spacing out.

A lot of memories
tied up in this place.

Sorry, when did you graduate?

Doesn't matter.

You got somewhere to be tonight?

Yeah.

That's good, that's good.

Everyone deserves somewhere
to be on Christmas.

Take care.

Oh, back again?

Free ride or seven?

Maybe just two.

Actually, I'm looking
for Henry, is he around?

Brynn, I don't get
why I have to brush

every single one of
these horse's tails?

They're not even alive.

Oh, Hey Greyson.

Hey.

I didn't expect
to see you here.

I thought you'd be too
busy checking items

off that massive last minute
Christmas shopping list

that you just so happened
to remember this morning

before I immediately departing
without further explanation

leaving your best
friends Henry and Callie

wondering what could
have possibly elicited

such a strange reaction

after what was for all
intents and purpose

a perfectly delightful
Christmas activity.

Yeah about that, um,

I'll leave it running.

Please.

After you?

Okay.

I felt like it was like
cotton candy or something,

like it was gone as
soon as I had it.

Okay, if you're gonna
commit to using a simile,

you need to at least make
sure that it's a good one.

Maybe like the wisps
of a cumulus clouds,

soft and beautiful
but never quite there.

Please stop.

Sorry.

It sucks, I get it.

Yeah, it does.

Sloane is Sloane, buddy.

You knew what you
were signing up for.

I thought you
were rooting for us.

I'm just saying that
it's not personal.

Don't look too much into it,

it's not about you.

Of course it's about me.

If it wasn't about me,

she wouldn't be icing
me out like this.

That's stupid.

How is it stupid?

Because it's wrong.

Enlighten me.

Okay.

This behavior the both
of you are exhibiting

is textbook anxious
avoidant attachment style.

I would know, I do
the exact same thing.

You remember that
guy I told you about

when I picked you up
at the train station,

the Mr. Met a Guy, Lost a Guy?

Yeah.

First off, before
I tell you this

do not tell Callie
I told you this

because she would k*ll me

if she knew that I didn't
tell her first, cool?

But, me and this guy
were in each other's DM's

for like weeks before
we finally went out

and we did and at the end
of the night he kissed me.

And then the next day I dipped,

like fully disappeared,

I was like the ghost of
Christmas yet to come

like literally.

Why?

Because it's scary, Greyson.

Okay, how is it scary?

What is so scary about-

- About feeling like you have
to be something to someone?

She doesn't have
to be anything

- to me.
- Yeah logically

you get that

and I'm sure logically
she gets it too,

but we're not
talking about logic,

we're talking about feelings,

specifically love, famously
the most difficult feeling.

Two very different things.

Yeah the difference with us

is like nobody was
in each other's DM's.

We talked once in
September, I told you.

Yeah but you've known
her for how long, dude,

like 14, 15 years?

How many lingering glances held

for two seconds too long
across the table was that

or how many friendly hugs
with a hand in the hair?

Stop, stop.

No, no, shut up,
Greyson, we all know it.

Our entire high school
experience was filled

with this nauseatingly
will they or won't they?

Just do something, okay,
I'm losing patience.

So you are rooting for us?

Obviously.

Okay so what do I do?

Have you thought about
what you're gonna get her

for Christmas yet?

Mallow me.

Thank you.

Here comes
the hot chocolate.

Watch out, it's very hot.

- Thank you.
- You got it?

Thank you and marshmallows.

Mmm.

I'm sorry we didn't get
a real tree this year.

Mom.

I just had to say it.

It's okay, we know, it's okay.

I like this one better anyway.

It stays green longer
and its less of a mess.

I just always want Christmas

to stay the same for you girls.

It seems like it's
getting harder and harder

to do that.

Mom, even if it
doesn't that's okay.

Things are changing,
things have changed.

I think if we try to fight that,

if we pretend it's
not happening,

we're just gonna keep
being haunted by the-

- Ghost of Christmas past?

I was gonna say memories
but that works too.

But that's just it's Sloane.

These memories, our memories,

I want them to stay special.

I don't want you two to forget.

I don't want to forget.

And we won't.

Dad's always gonna be with us.

I'm just saying you can take
the pressure off yourself.

Yeah mom, it doesn't
always have to be

on the romance
side of the horse.

What?

It's a carousel thing.

You wouldn't understand.

Delivery?

Huh, I'll check.

You getting tired?

Should we go to bed soon?

Not really.

Who was it?

Secret Santa.

- Ooh.
- Hi.

Hello.

Hello.

Thank you for rescuing.

I've been bored out of my mind.

Both my mom and dad are already
passed out on the couch.

Eggnog and Bing Crosby on
vinyl will do that to you.

You know them
better than I do.

You sure I'm like
keeping you from?

What charades with Aunt Judy?

Please, I will take any
excuse to escape from that,

trust me.

Get anything good?

Oh no, we don't do
presents until tomorrow.

Besides, I already know I'm
not getting what I want,

a TikTok that has actual numbers

isn't something you
can put inside a box.

Henry.

Callie,

we both know the best way to
get serotonin is through what?

Strangers validating
me on the internet.

It was just supposed to be
something fun to do over break.

Why are you obsessing
over it so much?

Because I don't
get to do it anymore,

you know performing,
finding an audience.

You're the only one of us

who was ballsy enough to
follow her dreams or whatever.

All right, it's not
all it's cracked up to be

just for the record.

I know but

I just miss it, that's all.

And I remember once

you told me about how auditions

were like speed dating

and you had to make
the casting director

fall in love with you
just a little bit.

And then Greyson came by tonight

while I was closing up at work

and he told me all about
his saga with Sloane.

Ooh, are they official?

No, it's been exhausting.

But it was a cute
little reminder for me

that in three and a
half years of college,

I haven't been able
to hold onto a guy

for more than a month.

So I don't know, I've just
been thinking about that a lot,

figuring out how to get people

to actually want
to be around me.

Hey, there are people who do.

You guys don't count.

We've literally known each
other since grade school.

Exactly, it takes time.

No matter how many
followers you have,

they'll never know
you like we do.

The best parts and the weirdest.

If you ask me they're
kind of the same thing.

Wait, that's it.

What?

I'm swiping Brynn's key,

we're heading back to
the carousel museum.

Henry, no, I don't want to
do any more TikTok dances.

No more dances but

just trust me, okay?

I think I have an idea.

I just want to
put it out there

that when it comes to
clandestine Christmas Eve meetups

this is a little on the nose.

Regifting old carousel
tickets, it's cute.

Yeah, glad you
could take a hint.

Totally.

I mean it would have
been really awkward

if you showed up
waiting for someone

and stayed in the cold for
hours and they didn't show.

I'm not looking to make some
big declaration or anything.

I just don't want to pretend

that there's not something
there or hasn't been.

Merry Christmas.

Open it.

I went through all my old
journals since middle school.

I found every mention
of you big or small

and transcribed them so
they're all in one place.

Don't read them all right now.

Some of them are legitimately
embarrassing, but

it has been there obviously.

Your paper was really beautiful.

Thank you.

If you split infinitives
and some tired metaphors.

Yeah you know somehow
I can't help thinking

that's kind of your fault.

I don't normally have to
go chase my laptop down

during my peak
metaphor writing hours.

I don't know,

I feel like I was more of an
inspiration than an obstacle.

Yeah, I guess that's fair.

Hey Sloane.

Hmm?

I know we're not gonna like
date right now or whatever,

but whatever this might be,

I just don't ever want
it to get heavy again.

I don't know,

I'm feeling pretty
relaxed and comfortable.

On familiar ground?

I'm gonna kiss you now.

Yeah okay.

Uh finally.

Come on.

Where did you guys come from?

Oh behind the tree.

What?

We were hiding, waiting
for someone to make a move.

Okay guys that was
like really gross, ew.

Honestly agreed

but now that you two turtle
doves are all patched up,

we have some news of our own.

Big news.

We went viral.

We did it.

You did?

Big time.

Yeah, 500,000
views and climbing.

Duets are off the charts.

Comments asking
where the museum is

so people can go check
it out themselves.

Yeah, so much for opening
part time next year, right?

How did you do that?

That's amazing.

Well to quote Callie,

"You gotta lead with your best

and your weirdest parts."

And then Henry
had the great idea

of breaking back into the museum

to record a highlights
video of its eccentricities,

no gimmicks.

Turns out there
are a lot of people

into vintage Americana.

Okay I don't know
what that means

but anything's better than
watching your "Renegade".

Does my mom know
that she's here?

Um we kind of kidnapped her

but don't worry,
we left a note so.

Worst case we'll just
shove her down the chimney

before sunrise.

Won't we, you little gremlin?

It's midnight.

It's officially Christmas day.

What do you guys say

to one last spin on the carousel

before Brynn realizes
I stole her keys again?

Paige, want to stay
up and take a ride?

Obviously.

Yeah, let's do it.

Yes, come on, yes!

Judging by these texts,
oh she already found out.

I'm gonna get so fired.

Merry Christmas, Sloane.

Merry Christmas, Greyson.

♪ 'Cause all I really
want this year ♪

♪ Is fast asleep
curled up right here ♪

♪ This moment ♪

♪ I have everything ♪

♪ No more 'neath the mistletoe ♪

♪ 'Cause baby we've been
eskimos a few times ♪

♪ It just feels right ♪

♪ 'Cause this Christmas ♪

♪ All I want is you ♪

♪ All I need is you ♪

♪ All I ever wanted was you ♪

♪ 'Cause this Christmas ♪

♪ All I want is you ♪

♪ All I need is you ♪

♪ All I ever wanted
was you, you ♪

♪ Pick my head off the pillow ♪

♪ See the snow out the window ♪

♪ But that's not what I'm
smiling for this year ♪

♪ Normally it's the movies ♪

♪ That fill me with cheer ♪

♪ To my surprise I
ended up right here ♪

♪ I wouldn't even care at all ♪

♪ If my stocking was
filled up with coal ♪

♪ I wouldn't even care at all ♪

♪ If the reindeer,
they just didn't show ♪

♪ 'Cause all I really
want this year ♪

♪ Is fast asleep
curled up right here ♪

♪ This moment ♪

♪ I have everything ♪

♪ No more need for mistletoe ♪

♪ 'Cause baby we've been
eskimoes a few times ♪

♪ It just feels right ♪

♪ 'Cause this Christmas ♪

♪ All I want is you ♪

♪ All I need is you ♪

♪ All I ever wanted was you ♪

♪ 'Cause this Christmas ♪

♪ All I want is you ♪

♪ All I need is you ♪

♪ All I ever wanted
was you, you ♪

♪ Oh we swore how we wouldn't ♪

♪ End up where we are now ♪

♪ But sure enough ♪

♪ You let me wear
you down anyhow ♪

♪ 'Cause all I really
want this year ♪

♪ Is fast asleep
curled up right here ♪

♪ This moment ♪

♪ I have everything ♪

♪ No more neath the mistletoe ♪

♪ 'Cause baby we've been
eskimoes a few times ♪

♪ It just feels right ♪

♪ Hey there TikTok ♪

It's Henry

And Callie.

And were here at
the Carousel Museum

ranking all of the animals.

Woo.

He gets a 10 out of
10 for the jewels,

but this guy, is he haunted?

666 out of 10.

Is this guy a dog?

Is he a dragon?

We don't know but
we love him anyway,

eight out of 10.

This is my absolute favorite
one in the whole museum

because it's the only one
known to have been designed

by a woman.

So yes feminism, I'm giving
this deer a 10 out of 10.

This one's not an animal

but she does look like my
Aunt Judy so four out of 10.

We love a sensible centaur.

Nine spices out a 10.

He may look old and scary

but this dude has history.

He was built in 1895

so four out of 10
for appearance,

10 out of 10 for value.

Who doesn't love a camel?

Four out of 10 for each hump,

eight out of 10.

Freedomstead, seven out of 10.

Here we have flat Beth.

She is beautiful

and the oldest horse
in the entire museum.

10 out of freaking 10.

Gender might be a spectrum,

gut this donkey here is the
only one in the whole museum

that's anatomically correct.

For legal reasons, we
can't show you though.