Richie Rich (1994)

[bunniefuu]

I still remember it
as if it were yesterday.

A cold and frosty November morning
when Master Richie came into the world

I have a son.

And I,
Herbert Arthur Runcible Cadbury

born in the tradition of service

was to become
his gentleman's gentleman

or as you Americans would say,
his butler.

Richie Rich was the long-awaited
first child of Richard and Regina Rich

and at pounds, ounces,
was immediately proclaimed

the wealthiest baby in the world.

Truly, Master Richie was born into
a life of great wealth and privilege

and yet, he was assuredly
his parents' most valued treasure.

Can you say, "Wall Street"?

"Wall Street"?

- Can you say, "blue chip"?
- Bunches and bunches of money.

- That's how much mommy loves you.
- Can you say, "convertible debenture"?

From the day he left his cradle

I undertook to show him
all that was good in life.

And I am delighted to report
that never was there a child

with a sweeter disposition

or a more spirited sense of play.

Although his father,
the senior Richard Rich

spent countless hours in his office,
overseeing his vast business empire.

Rich to buy million acres of jungle.

He still found time to share
simple pleasures with his son.

Thank you, Cadbury.

Go and build it anyway.

As he grew, Master Richie
developed a keen interest in sports.

Just a minute. Great toss, son.

- Beep beep, coming through.
- He had everything a boy could want.

Although at the age of

his driving skills
left something to be desired.

We have to have our Arab friends
understand that. Just a minute.

Nice throw, slugger.

With baseball, however, he displayed
a quite precocious talent.

Next Tuesday, right.

Which, as the years progressed

became more than
just a favorite pastime.

Not bad. Let's try this this time.

I want you to get the back elbow up.

That a way. Get the bat right here.
Shoulders square.

Nice level swing.
Keep your eye on the baseball.

Okay, pitch. Put some heat on it this time.

That's it.

Nice hitting, Richie.

Sorry, Charles!

Good clubbing, Master Richie.
You're scoring loads of points.

They're called runs, Cadbury. Runs.

Of course. But I'm afraid
we must run, sir.

- Can I have just one more inning?
- That really isn't possible.

- Thank you, Mr. Jackson.
- You're welcome, Richie. Any time.

All right, pack it all up.

In addition to his life of fun and games,
of luxury and privilege.

Master Richie was obliged to undertake
responsibilities far beyond those

- of any normal child
- It's a great day for a celebration...

and a great day for United Tool!

We're gonna wait for Mr. Rich
because he said he'd be here.

Today marks a miracle of sorts
here at United Tool.

This factory, once bankrupt,
and jobs about to disappear forever...

is now celebrating
a new lease on life...

thanks to billionaire businessman
and philanthropist Richard Rich.

And it looks like Richard Rich
will be arriving here in moments.

Hi. My dad couldn't make it,
so he sent me. I'm Richie.

Fellas, come on. Let me through.

Welcome to United Tools, Richie.
My name is Dave Walter, the plant manager.

This is Diane Koscinski, our union rep.

Diane's gonna be making
our presentation.

- We're really glad you could come.
- Me too. This is Cadbury.

- Master Richie's valet.
- Oh, a valet? Never met one of your type.

That doesn't altogether
surprise me, madam.

Richie who?

What planet you been living on?
Richie Rich, the richest kid in the world.

And now, our union rep, Diane Koscinski,
is gonna make our presentation.

Look, Gloria, your mom's
gonna make a speech.

Who cares about speeches?
Let's play some ball.

Fellow workers...

- Gloria, let's go!
- Come on, guys, let's play!

It isn't just this company,
it's the whole town.

And on this special morning...

the first day of retooling that's gonna
bring our jobs back...

we're gonna ask Richie to accept...

a gold-plated socket wrench set
for his dad.

Thank you, Richie.

On behalf of my dad,
thanks for the wrenches.

I know my dad loves socket wrenches.
I know I love socket wrenches.

If my mom knew what a socket wrench was,
I'm sure she'd love it too.

I'd like to stay, but I gotta
go do my homework.

It's been real.

Thank you.
I'm sure you'll all join me...

in giving Richie a big
United Tools thank-you!

I hope you're hungry. We got wieners
on the grill. Make sure you have partners...

for that egg toss. Plenty of prizes
and you're gonna win one. You are.

This is a great day, and I hope
you all stick around to enjoy it.

We've got plenty of games,
plenty of contests.

Lots and lots of things for the kids.

Heads up.

This area is not secure, sir.
Please return to the helicopter.

- I wanted...
- I said...

Don't touch him.

Master Richie...

you have a very busy afternoon,
so we must be on our way.

It's my job to protect him.

Very well, Mr. Ferguson,
but grab him like that again...

and you will need protection.

- Poor kid.
- "Poor kid"? What are you talking about?

He's the richest kid in the world.

You don't have children, do you, Dave?

Hey, it's taking off.

Man, it must be cool
to have everything.

- Come on, let's play ball.
- Yeah, let's go.

Come on, Gloria, put it over. Let's go.

It was then that Richie realized
there was something missing in his life.

Something simple.

Something money could not buy.

Yes, Mrs. Rich, we're flying over
the estate now. We'll be arriving shortly.

What? Oh, I'm sure he'll be
very happy to hear the news.

Master Rich, your father is home
from his business trip.

Great.

- Richie.
- Hello, James. Hobbes.

Welcome home, sir.

Dollar! Come here. Come here.

Good. What you doing?
What's going on?

Where's Mom and Dad?

Mount Richmore?

I said we needed
a family portrait, Regina...

but this?
- It was Rafaella's idea.

She's the artist. I didn't want
to stifle her creativity.

Oh, honey, you know me.
I'm all for the arts.

Don't you think
it's a tad pretentious?

Our faces feet high?

Wait till Geraldo gets ahold of this.

Richard, dove, you're overreacting.

Say, how'd she get it done so fast?

I've been gone a week.

Professor Keenbean invented a proton
particle maximizer. Something like that.

Anyway, it seems to do the job.

My cheeks are too puffy.

I know, I know, Regina.
I put on a few pounds.

But you have to admit
that I do look puffy up there.

- Dad.
- Hey, slugger. Great to see you.

How you doing, big fella?

How was the ribbon-cutting at United?

- Great. They gave you a gift.
- They did?

- Socket wrenches, sir.
- Oh, socket wrenches.

Son, I love a good socket wrench.

Dad, while I was there, there were
these kids playing baseball.

- Baseball? Great.
- Yeah. And so...

Excuse me, sir. It's a telephone call,
the president.

- What country?
- This one, sir.

Probably needs another loan.
This won't take long. I'll be right back.

Mom, I was wondering.

If it's okay,
can I invite some kids over?

Of course, dear.

A dinner party. Well, you just tell me who
and when and we'll send out the invitations.

- Not a party, Mom. Just something...
- Informal? All right, then.

More like a buffet.

We can use the oak Room.
That room is large enough...

to accommodate your friends.
- My friends...

They're always busy.
I don't wanna bother them.

Excuse me, Master Richie.

It's time for your chemistry lesson
with Professor Keenbean.

- Do I have to?
- A schedule, sir, is like a house of cards.

Take one away and they all
come tumbling down.

- Mom?
- I'm afraid so, Richie.

- Calculus, well, then, where are we?

In the Rich Manor basement,
you stockholders

are looking at the answer
to the problem of waste management.

I, Professor Keenbean here,
with Rich Industries' latest breakthrough:

The subatomic molecular reorganizer!

Useless garbage is broken down
to its basic molecular components

then recombined to form
a whole range of useful new items

from bedpans to bowling ba*ls.

Hey, need a new bedpan? I know I do.

It's quick, it's easy, and in no time at all

we've taken pounds of yesterday's
garbage and transformed it

into a beautiful new bed...
Bowling ball There's one.

Twins And what family doesn't
need a spare?

Here they come Oh, boy, oh, boy.

Cut! Cut!

Cut, cut, cut.

Still not working, is it, professor?

Still a few kinks need ironing out,
but not to worry.

- You ready for your chemistry tutorial?
- I'm not in the mood.

What else are you working on?

This one will fry your circuits.

I don't mean to play favorites,
but I'm stuck on this one.

It's a new adhesive.

Ten times stickier than
the strongest adhesive known to man.

I call it "Cementia"!

Wait till you see what's over here.

Help me. Help me. Help me.

Hey, Paula! Listen up!

Suck in the cheeks!

- Bad news, I'm afraid, honey.
- Don't tell me you're flying out again.

Tonight after dinner. I'm sorry.

We were supposed
to spend some time together.

How do you put up with me?

Well, you do have $ billion.

Is that the only reason?

No.

You also have a cute butt.

Cadbury, did you hear that?

Indeed, sir. Madam admires your butt.

I'm most delighted for you.

Now, this makes any fabric
instantly impervious.

Dirt proof, stain proof, waterproof, and...

Sherman!

Guess so. Pulled the hair off my head...

Fire in the hole!

And bulletproof. It's not perfect.
It's hell on the dry-cleaning bill.

No kidding.

Nice grouping, Sherman.

- What's this, a bee?
- Nope. That's a paperweight.

This is a bee.

A hundred bees working overtime
couldn't pollinate like this baby.

Behold Robo-Bee.

Here. Take it for a test flight.

Handles like a dream, huh?

Careful. Teams of scientists
have worked day and night...

developing the latest
in microcircuit technology.

Your afternoon tea, sir.

Millions and millions of dollars
have been spent on this one bee alone.

Come here! Come here, you!
Come! You're gonna need this!

Thirty-seven and a half miles of driveway.
You park in the feet with a puddle.

I'm very sorry, sir.

You're sorry. Well, in that case,
find another job.

Good evening, Mr. van Dough.
It's nice to see you, sir.

I've checked their schedule.
I've got the perfect time...

Not now, moron. We'll talk later.

Thank you very much,
Mr. van Dough, sir.

- Hello?
- Richie, dear.

Are you sure you don't want
to dine with us?

It's okay, Mom.
I really don't like that guy.

That's all right, dear. Neither do I.

But foie de veau is very good for you.

Liver is rich in protein.

It's so tasty too.

Bye, Mom.

Laurence, let's get back
to what you were saying...

about our charitable contributions.
- Yes, sir.

I'm all in favor of charity, sir,
but your donations...

are costing the corporation
a billion dollars a year...

and I think it's time we asked ourselves:

- What are we getting for it?
- What are we getting?

We're getting food banks, medical clinics,
shelters for the homeless...

It's Laurence's job
to keep an eye on the bottom line.

Which is also why I have to oppose
the United Tool acquisition.

We should be getting rid
of dead weight, not acquire it.

I agree.

- That's why I am getting rid of United Tool.
- Richard! All those people and their jobs!

That is brilliant.
I should've thought of it.

We buy the company in bankruptcy.
Level the factories.

No, no, Laurence. I'm keeping
the factory open, like I said.

Then we go in and we bust the unions...

slash benefits,
and then we sell the company.

No. We give it away.

We give it... We give it away.

Absolutely. We modernize it,
of course, and retool.

Then we turn the factory
over to the workers.

Richard, that's a wonderful plan.

Mr. Rich! Mr. Rich!

Mr. Rich. I've done it.

- May I present the Smellmaster.
- Keenbean, that's fantastic.

Richie, come down here and try this.

Glasses help us see better,
and hearing A*DS help us hear better.

We should have something
to help us smell better.

We do, dear. It's called Chanel.

But the Smellmaster
converts any smell within yards...

into a digital audio signal.
Here, son. Try it.

Wine, Petite Syrah .

Roses Hilversum
Demi-bloom Fresh-cut.

- Cool.
- That's marvelous.

Foie de veau. Calves' liver.

- Richie.
- Better make some adjustments, Dad.

This thing's way out of whack.
Can I be excused? Thank you.

Come on, Dollar. Traitor.

Sir, this is precisely the sort of thing
I'm talking about. Toys like that.

Toys? Good God, man.

To me, it represents...

good old-fashioned ingenuity
and know-how.

Right, Keenbean?

Yes, sir.

I see, sir, you bought a new Monet.

- Spectacular.
- Thanks.

Might I suggest you consider
beefing up the security system?

I don't think that'll be necessary.
After all, all of our real valuables...

are locked in the Rich family vault.

Vault?

The family vault?

Someday I'll give you a tour.

I'd like that.

Again, thank you for a lovely evening.

It is our great pleasure.

- Good night.
- Good night.

- Drive carefully.
- Seat belt.

- Morning, Charles.
- Good morning, Billy.

I gotta get another job.

Morning, sir. It's time.

Rise and shine, Master Richie.
Let's not be a slug abed.

You have a very busy schedule
in front of you.

Oh, what a beautiful morning.

Come along. You mustn't keep
your personal trainer waiting.

Please tell Arnold I really don't
feel like exercising today.

I hope you don't mind,
but Arnold canceled.

So I'll be filling in today.
My name is Claudia.

And arms to sides. Bend your legs.
Stretch.

And all the way up. And one
more time. Down and back up.

Now stretch to the left. To the right.

One more time.

Cadbury, about Arnold...

Arnold's history, sir.

Now, all the way back down.

Stretch real hard, and up.
And inhale and exhale.

Dadlink on.

Locate Dad.

Hiya, slugger.

Locating Dad now.

Exact coordinates
will be pinpointed in seconds

, nine

eight, seven.

Four.

Mr. President, if the government
spends more money than it takes in...

it goes into debt.

Excuse me, Mr. President.
It's the Dadlink.

- Dadlink?
- It's my personal communication system...

to my son. It's a prototype.

Yes, Richie What is it?

Hi, Dad. What you doing?

I'm discussing economic policy
with the president. Is this important?

Well, Dad, I think I'm getting a zit.

What do you think?

Could we talk later?

Oh Sure, Dad I'm sorry
I'll see you tonight.

- Bye
- See you.

Bye.

Congratulations on the zit, sir.

Thank you, Cadbury.

And I'll collect you after school, as usual.

- Good hunting, sir.
- Thank you, Cadbury.

Let's move on to case study number .

Your company is in dire straits.

Sales are down percent
due to stiff price competition.

Dividends are falling.
Stockholders are demanding...

you step down
as chairman of the board.

Now, here's your problem.

How do you rally the board
of directors to your side...

and stave off impending bankruptcy?

Reynolds?

I'll have my secretary
get back to you on that one.

Ellsworth, how would you
get the board on your side?

Bribe someone.

Sit down, Ellsworth.

Reginald, what would you do?

What would I do? Simple.

I'd float a rumor
we're the object of a takeover bid.

And as soon as our stock went up, I'd sell.

That's not only unethical,
Reginald, it's ill*gal.

I'm only .

I can't be held legally responsible.

Good point.

Rich, are you and Cuthbert
passing notes again?

- No, sir.
- Cuthbert?

Capital appreciation
is all well and good...

but not without
a sound growth strategy.

Well, I've only got one word
to say to you: pork bellies.

So, what do you think, Rich?

I think all we ever talk about is money.
We should be having fun.

Money is fun.

All I'm saying is, I'm wondering
if you can come this weekend...

and hang out.

- Hang out?
- Yeah, like normal kids.

You know, you're really acting weird,
Richie. Anyway, no can do.

I promised my dad I'd go to Tokyo
for a hostile takeover.

- Ellsworth?
- Sorry, trustees' meeting.

Watch your rear, Ellsworth.
First rule of defense.

This is a cappuccino. I asked for a decaf
caffe latte, you incompetent imbecile!

If you can't do the job, you...

First rule of defense, Reg.
Always watch your rear.

Sir, your Latin tutorial has been
moved back an hour.

That gives you time
for a spot of polo.

Then on to your tax law seminar.

Oh, and this coming weekend, big treat.

You and your parents are flying to London
to take tea with Her Majesty.

Is something amiss, sir?

My friends are too busy
to hang out...

and now I'm too busy to hang out.

You must understand
you're being groomed...

for a life of wealth and responsibility.
Certain sacrifices must be made.

Sacrifices.

Cadbury, I'm changing my schedule.
Bascomb?

- Sir.
- Make a right.

- Yes, sir.
- You...

Come on, pitcher.

You're supposed to hit the ball.

Come on, Gloria.

Cool car.

Hey, guys. Check it out.

Master Richie, please.

You can't play with those children.
I must protest.

Cadbury, chill. I'll be fine.

But they probably haven't
even been vaccinated.

Hi, guys. I'm Richie.

- We know who you are.
- What, no chopper?

Dad hardly ever lets me
take the helicopter.

Oh, no chopper to go to school?

- What are you doing?
- I was wondering...

if maybe I can play with you guys?
- Play?

Not!

Come on. Let me hit.

You probably couldn't
hit a beach ball.

I can hit off of you.

You think you're so hot.
Put your money where your mouth is.

- You mean bet?
- Yeah. Five says she puts you away.

Five? How about ?

Okay. Seems a little steep,
but , it is.

No, no, no. Not , .
Ten dollars.

Ten dollars. Okay.

I was going to McDonald's
with this money.

- Dust him.
- No problem.

Mr. Fancy Pants is going down.

Master Richie, I do think it unseemly
in the extreme...

for you to take
these... These children's money.

What are you doing?
Asking the old guy for batting tips?

Hit a touchdown, Master Richie.

Come on, Gloria. Right over the plate.

- Strike him out, Gloria.
- Come on, Gloria.

Come on, Gloria!

- Hey, batter, batter, batter.
- Easy money. Come on.

- Strike him out.
- You got it, Gloria.

Fire it in there.

This is a piece of cake.

We got the money in the bag.
Let's go. Come on.

- Burn it in.
- Come on, Gloria.

Oh, yes, Master Richie! Yes!

- Yes! Yes!
- Oh, man.

There goes my lunch money.

Lucky swing, I guess.

I was wondering if you could
come over to my house...

Pee Wee, give him the money.

- I don't want your money.
- I said, take it.

You don't belong here.

Truly a prodigious blow, Master Richie.

Thank you.

Oh, perk up. It won't be long before you're
having tea and crumpets with the queen.

I'd rather eat a hot dog at Wrigley.

So would I, son, so would I.

Oh, Richard, you're not
seriously considering...

giving the queen the Smellmaster?

Why not, Regina?
I think she'd get a kick out of it.

Anything to take her mind off
those children of hers.

Security check's complete, sir.

I hope you and your family
have a great time.

Thank you, Mr. Ferguson, thank you.

- Cadbury?
- Madam?

What's bothering Richie?

He tried to make friends
with some children yesterday.

It wasn't a great success.

- The poor dear.
- Might I make a suggestion, madam?

- Anything.
- Why not let Master Richie...

stay here? Young gentlemen are apt
to find royal functions a trifle boring.

Whereas here, I could provide
a busy schedule of distractions.

Cadbury, you're a genius.
I'll go tell Richie.

All aboard.

I could live here.

- It's huge.
- You think they got a pool?

It ain't no house. It's a whole 'hood.

- I've seen bigger.
- Are you kidding?

The place probably has got
its own zip code.

Excuse me, Master Richie.

Sensing you were at a loose end,
I've arranged for a little entertainment.

I'm really not in the mood
for the vienna Boys' Choir today.

Sadly, the choir was unavailable, sir.
But I did make other arrangements.

I don't believe it.

All right, come on.

Thanks, Cadbury, I owe you one.

- Hi, guys.
- Hey, rich man.

- Just checking out your crib, here.
- Crib?

I believe that's street slang
for "home," sir. An idiom.

Who you calling an idiom?

And now, if you wish, sir,
luncheon is served.

All right. Food! I like this place.

I hope you didn't go to too much trouble.

Not at all. I prepared a simple,
yet elegant menu...

It sounds delicious.

However, Master Richie was of the opinion
that his guests deserve a break today.

- You have your own McDonald's?
- No way!

- Not bad.
- Wow.

- This is great.
- I want a Big Mac.

I'm doing an analysis of the secret sauce.

Come on, guys, get him.
Get out of my way.

- Nice shot.
- I'll be right back.

Come on.

It's called the Dadlink.

It's practically the only way I talk
to my dad. He's away a lot.

I know what you mean.
My dad lives in California.

If we didn't e-mail,
I'd probably never talk to him.

Give me the ball. Come on.

Man, he'd like this place, though.

Must be cool to have everything.

So you guys wanna play, or what?

Hey, I got an idea.
Wanna try the Kiddipult?

The Kiddipult?

- Unbelievable!
- That was so cool!

That was great!

That was nothing.
You guys wanna play tag?

- Tag?
- Tag?

In the gentle hand of the gardener
lies the hand of God.

- Are you a Sagittarius?
- No, madam.

- Pisces?
- No, madam.

- Leo?
- No. No, I'm a Taurus.

I knew it. The bull.

- Correct, madam.
- Oh, look, don't call me madam, okay.

I don't like the connotation.
My name's Diane.

Of course, Diane.

And how about you?
You got a first name?

- Of course.
- And?

- Herbert.
- Herb.

No, it's Herbert.
I'm not a seasoning.

Do I detect a rising fire sign,
Herbert?

You, Diane, are a Capricorn.

Hey, how did you know that?

Yeah!

Oh, yeah!

Yeah!

Man, this is the best day of my life!

- Me too.
- The day's not over yet.

You mean, there's more?

- Your own roller coaster.
- Check it out.

- Awesome!
- It's so big!

That is cool.

My dad gave me this last Christmas.
It's pretty intense.

- Yeah, I just ate.
- You always just ate.

Now, their plane ought to be
about right here by now.

Just about time for me to move
into a much bigger office.

Roger that, center. Billion Dollar One,
over and out.

Would you take over for a while, darling?
I think I'd like some coffee.

Don't go sneaking into those chocolates.
They're reserved for the queen.

Regina, I'm dieting.
The last thing I want is chocolate.

Where are those chocolates?

Up, up, up.

Chocolates. Chocolates.

Smellmaster.

Handkerchiefs Hand-embroidered.

Marble egg Fabergé.

Trinitrotoluene

I'll tell him you called. Thank you.

Open it.

Darling, this one doesn't have a tag.
Do you know what it is?

- No, I don't.
- The Smellmaster says it's trinitrotoluene.

And if my memory serves me right,
trinitrotoluene is the proper name for...

TNT!

- Good God, Regina. It's a b*mb.
- Get rid of it!

Richie, this is great!

To the new chairman of Rich Industries:

Me.

Well, it's been a slice. Maybe I'll see you
around sometime, huh?

Yes, you never can tell.

When you get off the embalming fluid,
give me a call, Herbert.

- Thanks a lot for coming over.
- No problem.

Don't forget. Baseball next Wednesday.

- : .
- I'll be there.

Hey, wait. What about our
hundred bucks?

- I said, forget about that, Tony.
- What hundred bucks?

The penguin-looking dude said he'd give us
$ for coming to play with you.

- Gloria, I didn't know that...
- Hey, look. Nobody has to pay us anything.

End of story.

See you later, Richie.
We had a great time.

Master Rich, I really am
most dreadfully sorry.

- Mr. Cadbury!
- Excuse me.

Master Rich...

What?

It's your parents.

- Dadlink on.
- Hiya, slugger.

- Locate Dad.
- Locating Dad now.

Signal contact: negative.

Power increase.

Searching.

Dad not found.

Dad not found.

Dad not found.

Mr. van Dough, sir?

Fergie, entrez.

I was just thinking that after I plunder
the Rich family vault...

I think I'd like to buy a country
somewhere.

Something small, not too ostentatious.

Luxembourg, perhaps, or maybe Ecuador.

Sir, it seems we have a slight problem.

The boy wasn't on the plane, sir.

Feculent fool! After all of my
careful planning...

All right.

I got rid of the king and the queen.

I don't think the boy prince
will be any problem at all.

The plane has been missing
more than hours.

But despite the biggest air
and sea search in US naval history

there is still no sign of billionaires
Richard and Regina Rich

missing since the apparent crash
of their plane.

They're alive, Cadbury. I know it.

And wherever they are, Master Richie,
I'm sure they're together...

and happy.

Richard, if we ever get out of this...

I'm gonna soak for a week
in a vat of oil of olay.

Why haven't they found us yet?

Well, probably because
the locator transmitter in the plane...

is under a mile of water.

Unless we can see a Radio Shack soon,
we can kiss off any chance...

of getting my Dadlink to work.

There's only one person ruthless enough
to set off a b*mb on our plane.

- When I get my fingers...
- We don't know for sure.

Oh, Richard, wake up
and smell the seaweed!

You should have fired him years ago.

I've never fired anyone in my life.
I don't intend to start now.

But van Dough...

He thought Richie
was on the plane with us.

Regina, we have to survive...

if only to warn Richie.
His life is in danger.

Ladies and gentlemen...

before we begin, I'd like to observe
a moment of silence...

on the tragic passing
of Mr. and Mrs. Rich.

Now, first order of business:

United Tool.

What do you mean, they closed
the factory?

It just happened. My mom
and everyone else got fired.

I didn't know. You gotta believe me.

Hey, I'm really sorry about your parents,
but can't you help?

I don't know if I can do this, Cadbury.

Remember this...

- What's that mean?
- It means you have the power...

of your father inside you.

Kind of like, "Trust the Force, Luke."

Exactly, sir.

It's so hard.

Sir?

Mr. Richard Rich Jr. to see you.

Miss Fairchild, I need those memos done
by : today.

Yes, sir, Mr. van Dough, sir.

Richie, Richie, Richie, Richie...

Allow me to express my heartfelt
sympathies over your loss.

We all loved your mother and father
very much.

My parents are alive.

I pray nightly that they are.

I want you to know we're doing everything
we can to coordinate the search effort.

Please, have a seat.

- So, what have you come to see me about?
- Well, until my parents come back...

I've taken a...

Sabbatical, sir.

I've taken a sabbatical from school.

You know, so I can be here
and run things.

Run things.

Richie, the job of senior officer...

of a multi...

National corporation...

it's very demanding business.

Hours go, well just, way past
your bedtime.

So I think that it's best
to leave this job to...

an adult who has experience
in these matters. Okay?

I don't think so.

By the way, Cadbury,
how much stock do I own?

Until your parents are found, sir,
as the sole heir...

you own percent of the voting stock.

You're not of legal age
to exercise your voting rights.

But I am, sir.

And under the terms of the Rich estate,
I stand in loco parentis

and Guardian ad Litem
to Master Richie.

And accordingly, I give him full
proxy power and authority.

And by the way, United Tool stays open.

Fine.

Round one to you, sir.

With the losses in our manufacturing
division, this will necessitate...

Sorry.

Will necessitate
some employee downsizing.

Downsizing. You mean fire people.

Well, call it what you will, Richie.

It is our job to cut the fat.

Mr. van Dough, my father never
fired anybody.

He always said when
people are secure in their jobs...

they work harder, happier
and better.

So I think if we need to cut the fat,
I say we start right here.

- Good morning.
- Morning.

- Morning. Your messages.
- Morning, Sylvia.

- Morning, Mr. Rich.
- Morning.

Yeah, Marvin, I understand that.

Yes, but if all of our divisions are doing
record-breaking business...

how come Rich candy bars
are down percent?

Oh, come on. Have you ever actually
tasted a Rich bar?

He'll get back to you as soon
as possible, Mr. lacocca. Goodbye.

Richie Rich's office. Yes.

Talk about gumballs.

Richie Rich's office. I'm sorry.
He's not available. He's in conference.

- I'll have him call you.
- Excuse me. We'd like to see Richie.

- And you are?
- Hey, they're free!

- We're his friends.
- We wanna thank him...

for reopening the factory.
- Mr. Rich is much too busy to see anyone.

But wait, we can...

Richie Rich's office.

Hey!

Excuse me! Somebody help!

- I didn't do it! I didn't do it!
- Get Pee Wee. We're going in.

Come on, let's go.

- I didn't do it.
- Are you all right?

- Richie.
- Gloria? Hey, guys.

Close the door.

I'll have to get back to you, Marvin.

Yeah, my new research and development
team just walked in.

- What?
- What?

And finally, after extensive
and exhausting taste testing...

by my new research
and development team...

- Hi.
- How you doing?

I've come to the conclusion that we must
increase our nut proportion by percent.

We simply cannot let our competition
be nuttier than we are.

- Yes.
- That's our idea.

- Come on, guys.
- Excuse me.

Excuse me. Coming through.

All those in favor of my motion?

All opposed?

I hate that kid.

No, no. Clockwise, clockwise.
I said, massage clockwise.

Migraines are bad enough
without your incompetence. Get out!

Yes, sir, Mr. van Dough.

Now, you listen. I want you to put the
revised plan we discussed into action.

And this time, make sure
the gloves come off.

- Gloves, sir?
- It's a metaphor, hamhead.

Well, that's it, honey.

We're out of Perrier. Caviar's gone,
and there's no more Melba toast.

The only thing we've got left
is a bottle of Dom.

And this little packet of Bubblicious.
Richie's favorite.

He's only years old, Richard.
He's just a boy.

Now, Regina, I'm sure whatever happens,
he's going to be just fine.

- Oh, my God!
- What is it?

- We're saved! We're saved!
- What? What? What?

My Louis! Darling, my suitcase.

And when my father gets back, I'm sure
he'll be happy to see what we've done.

The profits from every division
have gone up on a record-breaking rise.

- It doesn't give you the right...
- I'm sorry, but this is police business.

- Herbert Cadbury!
- Yes.

You're under arrest.

- Pardon?
- What is this?

You can't just burst in here.
What is the meaning of this?

We received a tip
and searched the Rich mansion.

b*mb parts, detonation devices
found in Herbert Cadbury's room.

- Preposterous.
- You're under arrest...

for Mr. and Mrs. Rich's m*rder.

I don't know what you're talking about.
Don't worry. I'm sure it's a mistake.

Cadbury! Cadbury!

Richie, police have him now.
Best stay here.

Do you understand that you can stop
these proceedings?

Richie, is it true that Mr. Cadbury
planted a b*mb on your parents' jet?

Do you think they were m*rder*d?

- How do you feel?
- What's the future of United Tool?

- Richie!
- Are your parents alive?

- Mr. van Dough!
- We are deeply saddened by this tragic turn.

I'd like to believe in
Cadbury's innocence.

- But evidence points in the other direction.
- Mr. van Dough.

Of course, my main concern is that
poor Richie survives this terrible episode.

And having his best interests at heart,
I have petitioned Superior Court...

to become the boy's legal guardian.

That's all for right now. Thanks.

The court has granted legal guardianship
of Richie Rich

to Laurence Van Dough,
trusted friend of the Rich family.

Meanwhile, bail has been denied
to accused m*rder*r, Herbert Cadbury.

And believing Cadbury may have had
accomplices, Mr Van Dough dismissed

all employees of the Rich family.

The Southside community adoption service
released figures for the last year...

My makeup case.

My dresses, my Karl Lagerfeld,
my Bill Blass.

My tuxedo. Now we can throw
a dinner party.

Well, what do we have...?
Wait a minute. Wait a minute.

Here's something we can use.

Don't you think this is an odd time
to start shaving your legs?

Don't you understand? This may be the very
thing that will save us. The very thing.

Yes, yes!

Richard, darling, you've been
too long at sea.

Dad not found.

Dad not found.

Dad not found.

Excuse me, Richie.

- Right under that archway.
- What are you doing? What is that?

- Security camera. For your protection.
- My protection?

Yeah. And until further notice...

I'm afraid I can't let you leave
the grounds of the estate.

After what happened to your parents,
we can't take any chances.

What about the company?

You won't be going
to the office anymore, Richie.

Mr. van Dough will be running
the office from now on.

- Nice doggy.
- Come on, Dollar.

Right there, camera .
That position's good. Lock it down.

I don't believe this.

It's like I'm a prisoner, Dollar,
in my own home.

I'm gonna go have a talk with
Mr. van Dough. You stay here. Good dog.

Well, sir, things have turned out
just the way we planned.

You planned, sir.
Just the way you planned.

Well, not exactly. The vault.
Where is the vault?

There must be billions hidden in there.
You're head of security. Where is the vault?

I told you, sir. That's one thing
I was never privy to.

What about the rotund
Professor Keenbean?

Claims he doesn't know.

And you believe him, you idiot
The man is a lying, disgusting toad.

About the butler, sir

I've arranged it so Mr Cadbury will soon
be so overcome with guilt and remorse

he's going to hang himself in his cell.

To the lab.

- They're gonna k*ll Cadbury?
- They're gonna make it look like a suicide.

- We have to do something. Bust him out...
- Here it is.

- What is it?
- This baby here is the ultimate corrosive.

Don't touch it! I call it
"hydrocloricdioxynucleocarbonium."

The name needs work.
But it'll eat through a Buick.

Or...

- Prison bars.
- Exactly.

Welcome to your worst nightmare.

Gin.

Sorry.

What kind of deal is that? I don't need
the money tomorrow, I need it today.

You don't understand. She's my mother.

- Excuse me, sir.
- What do you want?

- Well, what do you want?
- I want you to give this to my uncle.

- Who's your uncle?
- Herbert Cadbury.

Cadbury, huh? Let me see this.

- What's this?
- It's Latin.

Latino? I thought he was English.

- What's this?
- Very special toothpaste.

He has really sensitive teeth.

- You got minutes to do whatever.
- Thank you.

Get to it.

I'm getting out of here. Let's go. Hurry.

Thank heavens. My teeth
were starting to grow fur.

Talk about extra-strength tartar control.

"Life in danger."

"Use toothpaste on bars."

Life in danger? Really!
How melodramatic.

Help! Officer! Help me! Help!

Never mess with a man
with sensitive teeth.

- Cadbury?
- Richie.

- You're okay.
- I've been worried sick.

I do beg your pardon, sir. All that emotion.
Quite out of order.

Got caught up in the moment.

- Cadbury.
- Yes, sir.

- Shut up.
- Thank you, sir.

Look.

- I'm so sorry. I hadn't heard.
- No, look. They only found the plane.

No bodies, no life raft.
Mom and Dad are alive. I know it.

- And the Dadlink?
- We can't go back to the house.

But I have another idea. Come on.

Looking radical in those clothes.

Thank God I was able to hold on to
my underwear.

So Master Richie helped Cadbury
escape from jail.

I knew that! I know everything!
Everything, do you hear?

What I know about you
will put you both in jail!

Really? In that case, I'm afraid that
we're just gonna have to k*ll you.

I don't know that much. What do I know?
Who'd believe me anyway?

I do believe there is one thing
you do know...

which will be very helpful to me.
- Forget it!

I'm not helping you. Nothing you do can
make me talk! Do you hear? Nothing!

Good morning, madam.

Cadbury, come on.

This is it, right here.

- Hello?
- Gloria, it's me.

Richie?

Whoa. Look who's slumming.

Gloria, I need to use your computer.
It's important.

Come on in.

Well, here goes.

Oh, no.

- Wait. Wait a minute.
- What are you doing? What is it?

It may just do it. Wait, wait, wait.

It's working?

Let's just hope the power holds out.

- Hope Richie hasn't given up the search.
- Richie? Of course he won't.

- I'm gonna go get changed.
- Changed?

Yes, of course, darling. There's no way
I'm going to be rescued looking like this.

- Just a few more seconds. It should be in.
- I like this look on you.

If I didn't know better,
I'd think you were almost normal.

- Thanks. I think.
- No, I mean it.

I used to think you were just
some spoiled rich kid.

But now you're not so bad.

Yeah. Likewise.

No, no, please, madam.
Madam, no, no, no!

That really isn't...

- Thank you, madam.
- I told you, don't call me madam.

Forgive me, Diane.

Richie did it! He's in!

Hiya, slugger.

What the heck?

Mike, get me Ferguson.

Come on, professor. Play nice.

- Think I'm enjoying this?
- Yes.

But anyway...

You told me what this machine
could do to a person.

How would you like to spend the rest
of your life as a bedpan?

You've gotta believe me!
I don't know where the vault is!

- And even if I did it, it wouldn't help you!
- Ferguson, wait.

- Tell me why, professor.
- Because the lock is voice-activated...

and only Mr. and Mrs. Rich
can open it!

Unfortunately, Mr. and Mrs. Rich
have been detained permanently.

So come up with another way
for me to get into that vault.

Yes, but...

What?

What?

Sir, I have a situation.

Handle it.

I'm sorry. Hungry, professor?

- You're despicable.
- Enjoy.

Locating Dad now.

- Dad found
- They're alive! I knew it!

Exact coordinates will be pinpointed.

Twelve seconds.

Eleven seconds.

- Ten.
- Oh, my God. They're alive.

- Nine, eight.
- Nine, eight.

Seven, six.

- Access terminated?
- I've been cut off!

- They must've pulled the modem!
- But your parents are alive, sir.

- It proves they're alive.
- I have to get to the Dadlink.

Mr. van Dough, sir...

I think we've found a way
into that vault, after all.

Dad found.

- Come on. Let's get going.
- Wait there. We'll be right down.

Are you entirely convinced
this is a good idea, sir?

- If anything goes wrong...
- The Dadlink in my room's our only chance.

- I'm going.
- Yes, but, Master Richie, please consider...

Well, I'm wanted for attempted m*rder,
escaping from jail, blowing up an aircraft...

breaking and entering
sounds right up my alley.

- Let's kick some butt, shall we?
- Let's.

Well, that's it. It's all up to Richie now.

Well, then, everything is fine.

- Richie never lets us down.
- No.

He never would.

Wait, darling, do you hear that?

Yes. Yes, it is!

- It's a plane! It's a plane!
- Oh, my God! Richard, we're saved!

Oh, Richie!

- Heroic boy!
- Over here! Hello?!

- Lovely son! Hello!
- Hello?! Plane!

If any of you wanna turn back,
now's the time.

No way. We're with you, Richie.

- Let's go!
- Let's go!

Yes.

The package has arrived.

Splendid.

Wait for my signal.

Good grief. Manure?

- Hey! It's all we could find.
- Yeah.

Very well. Load.

All right. I'm in position.
You guys all set?

Eminently.

I've got a target.

Ready.

Wait for it.

Wait for it.

Fire!

We missed.

Reload! Reload!

This is Nash

Nash, I didn't hear that. Come back.

This is Nash.

Fire two!

Somebody's throwing...

- Yes!
- Yeah!

Come back, Nash. Say again.

- What'd you hit him with?
- Don't ask.

Nash?

- Nash?
- Talk to him.

Come in, Nash.

Yeah. This is Nash.

False alarm.

Everything's slicker than snot
on a doorknob.

Well, I heard it in prison.

Roger that.

I think those Twinkies
are starting to rot his brain.

Spoils of w*r, man.

Flashlight.

- Are you okay?
- You wouldn't believe what they did to me.

- It was inhuman. No! Wait!
- Where's van Dough?

He got a phone call and ran out.
He's not nice person.

Cadbury and I have to get up to my room.
We need a diversion to get past the guard.

I think I can whip up something.

- Gloria, you go with him.
- Okay.

- Guys, let's do it.
- Come on!

Go, go, go.

This should do the trick. Come.

Hey, this is it. Come on.

Me! Like your own wife and children,
dozens of them!

This way, Gloria.
Over here. Right there.

- Give that a turn to the right.
- What are we doing?

Well, what they need is a diversion.

This is a combination
of laundry detergent...

dish-washing detergent
and bubble bath. Take that off.

I call it "Sudsational."

What in the?

Bubbles?

What the heck?

Hey, you guys.

Mr. Zullo, we have a problem
with the front fountain.

- Then turn it off, you idiot.
- You heard the man. Go.

k*ll the cameras now.

You guys go on ahead.
I'll be just a second.

Okay.

My inventions!

- What is it?
- I don't know!

We did it, Mom. They're in there.

All right. Richie, Herbert,
you're on your own.

Cadbury, look. It's still working.

Dad found.

Wait a minute. This isn't right.

It says Dad's here.

Welcome home, Richie.

You were even quicker than I thought.

- Mom! Dad!
- Our other guests should be arriving...

any moment.

Hey, man, are you nervous or something?

- What are you talking about?
- Did you fart?

- No.
- Man, you cut the cheese.

- Whoever smelt it, dealt it.
- Whoever denied it, supplied it.

- What is that?
- I don't know.

Sir.

- Got them.
- Outstanding. Bring them in.

- Richie, darling, I'm so worried about you.
- Thank you.

- Why are you doing all this?!
- Yes, Laurence, what are you after?

The vault, Richard.

The Rich family vault.

- Is that what this is all about?
- Yes. Yes, the vault.

- Where is it?
- There.

- Where?
- Out there!

Mount Richmore?

Your vault is an entire mountain?

- Well...
- You really are filthy rich, aren't you?

You take me to that vault right now.

Just to make sure...

I'll have Mr. Ferguson watch
Master Richie until we get back.

No! Don't hurt Richie!

If you two cooperate, I promise...

no one will get hurt.
- I'll be okay, Mom.

Shall we?

I will not be held responsible
if that weasel steals my inventions...

if they fall into the wrong hands...
Robo-Bee!

My little pretty...

Let's go! Let's go!

Come on! Move!

After all this family's
done...

I guess I won't be winning
that Employee of the Month award.

- Very funny.
- Keep moving.

- Move!
- All right, all right.

Let's go, let's go, let's go.

Hey, watch it!

All right. Everybody in.

- No. I'm not going in there.
- No way. I'm not going in.

- Everybody in!
- Sure. Whatever you say. You're the boss.

St. Peter on a Popsicle stick...

he's gonna scramble their molecules.

Don't panic. Don't panic, Keenbean,
you'll think of something.

What?! What are you gonna think of?

We're going!

- Careful...
- Let's go! Let's go!

All right, watch your heads.

- Jerk! Let me out!
- Let's see if this thing works!

- I'm stuck!
- It's the fat man!

- Keenbean?
- Keenbean! He's here.

Nice try, professor.

But you're gonna have to
do better than that!

Let's...

play a little game...

with your little friends!

Ignition!

Thirty more seconds and you won't
recognize your little friends!

Don't worry, Richie!
I've got him covered!

Save us, professor.

- No!
- Somebody get us out!

I can't reach the machines!

Fly, my beauty!

Fly like you've never flown before!

Eureka!

Careful, Richie! The Cementia!

- Thank you, professor.
- Yes.

- Cadbury...
- Master Richie!

I've gotta get to Mom and Dad.

Wait!

Oh, yes.

Look at that.

Finally.

All right, now. Open it.

- Hello, vault.
- Hiya, boss!

Please state the code for voice check

open it now. Open it!

- Code accepted
- Thank you, Beavis and Butthead.

This is incredible!

This is amazing!

This is... This is...

This is junk!

Junk?

Bronze dog bones? What?

Accordions?
Baby pictures, tricycles, kites?

Bowling trophies?

- You remember that, darling?
- Our first date.

What is all of this crap?

These are our priceless possessions.

Where are the gold bars...

the diamonds, negotiable bearer bonds,
the money? Where's the money?!

In banks, where else?

- And the stock market, real estate...
- No.

Is this a joke? This is not right.

Are you telling me there is not one
single solitary gold bar or emerald...

or thousand-dollar bill
in this entire mountain?

I'm sorry, Laurence,
but that's not what we treasure.

sh**t them now, please.

What's the matter, Mr. van Dough?
Can't do it yourself?

- Richie, get out of here!
- It's okay, Mom.

I don't think he has the guts
to sh**t.

Richie! No!

Generally, you're right,
but on this occasion...

I think I'll make an exception.

Cool.

You're a dead man!

Let's get out of here!

- Lock him in, Dad!
- Good idea, son!

- Close vault.
- Closing vault now Have a nice day.

This way!

Up the ramp, quick.

Oh, my God.

- It's all right, honey. Don't look down!
- Oh, Jesus.

Don't look down!

I won't, darling.

Get down!

Down, down. Everybody down!

- He's trying to k*ll us!
- I know!

I got you now.

Stay down!

Quick! Up we go!

Not me, you imbecile! Them!

Beg your pardon.

That wasn't so difficult.

- Come on.
- Richard, I'm afraid!

But you're the bravest woman
I've ever known.

- Now up you go.
- Cut the crap and stop pushing!

sh*t!

- All right, Richie, come on.
- Come on, Richie!

Good boy, son.
Good boy.

Now, don't look down.

Hang on!

Richard!

- Richard!
- Mom!

I've got you! I've got you!
Grab Richie's hand!

- I got her!
- No!

- Don't let go of me.
- We won't let you go.

Now, I won't let you go, dear.

- I'll swing you into my mouth.
- In your mouth?

- Your mouth?
- It's large enough.

- Ready?
- Okay.

One.

- I can't hold her! Hurry!
- Two.

- She's slipping!
- Once more.

Three!

- You okay?
- I made it!

All right. You're next.

Give me that!

Danger Overload.

Danger Overload

oh, my God, my nose!

I look like Michael Jackson!

Mom!

Richie, grab my hand.

Danger Overload.

Danger Overload.

Forgive me, madam.

Where are they?

Thank God!

Not so fast.

Please. Please. Help me!

Oh, my God! Help! Please help! Help!

Dad, I know how you feel
about firing people, but...

In this case, I think
we can make an exception.

Mr. van Dough, you're fired!

Fine, I'm fired...

Well done, Master Richie!

Well done!

Cadbury...

everything all right?

Yes, madam...

in a manner of speaking.

- Go get them, Richie!
- Come on, Richie!

- Come on, you can do it!
- Richie!

Come on, Richie!

Come on, k*ll that ball!

- Right down the middle!
- Come on! This guy can't hit!

Knock it out the park!

Well done! That's the ticket!

Good hit.

Shut up!

Aren't you gonna throw it back?

Hey, screw. Fetch.

Not bad, coach.

You're not so bad yourself, madam.

Don't call me that.

Richie, you're all right.

Likewise.

I must say, Regina...

now our son really
is the richest boy in the world.

He has friends.