Air Bud (1997)

[bunniefuu]

Oh, darn it

Okay, mutt. Show time.

Okay, come here.
Hold it. Hold it.

Hey, do not make me
use this, okay ?

Hi.
"Clown and the Hound."

Ow !
[ Whimpering ]

Hey, kids,
it's happy, slappy time !

All right, now,
I tell ya what we'll do.

We'll start off with a little bit
of plate-spinnin', okay ?

I bet you won't be able to guess
what this one is.

Hoo-hoo-ha, hoo-hoo-hoo.
? Hula, hula, hula hoop ??

Pick a card, any card.

Now we put the plate
in our mouth !

[ Coughing Continues ]
It went down a little bit... far.

Okay, dog, your turn.

[ Children Gasping ]
Oh. Oh. Oh.

- One more.
- [ Together ] Yeah !

And now
for the grand finale, kids !

- Where are you ?
- [ Crowd Shouting ]

- Come back here !
- [ Screaming ]
- [ Whimpering ]

Ow!

- My cake !
- [ Screaming ]

- [ Children Screaming ]
- [ Mother ] Oh !

Would it be okay
if I get a couple references ?

Come on ! Get up here !
I warned you.

You had your chance,
you flea-bitten mongrel.

You're going to the pound !

Do you hear me ?
You're going to the pound !

I hate birthday parties !

I hate kids !
I hate being a clown !

I can't stand birthday cakes !

Yeah, dog pound ? I got a vicious dog.
No, it's a horrible dog.

It's a menace !
I'm bringin' him in now !

No, I don't know where you are.
That's why I'm calling ya.

What ? Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah,
yeah, I know where that is.

I could be there
in 15, 20 minutes.

Yeah. Well, no, I got a map.
I got a map here in the truck.

Oh, my God !
Oh, my !

- [ Baby Crying ]
- You okay ?

- You okay, sweetie ? You okay ?
- No !

Well, jeez,
almost gave me a heart attack.

What on earth is that box doing
in the middle of the road ?

We're okay. Everyone's okay.
We-- We're okay. Fine.

Isn't it cute ?
Oh, don't forget:

My new job is just
ten minutes away.

Did I tell you that
the Fernfield Napkin Factory...

is the third largest manufacturer
of napkins in all North America ?

Well, here we are.

[ Sighs ]
So what do you think, huh ?

[ Mother ]
I am concerned about him starting
three months into the school year.

He doesn't make friends
very easily.

Not that he's not friendly. It's just--
Well, he doesn't talk much these days.

You see, when his dad
passed away last year--

- Oh, I'm so sorry.
- Thank you.

It's been difficult.
So, anyway...

I used to spend a lot of time
around here because my grandparents
lived here.

So I thought that the move
would really be the best thing
for us, especially for Josh.

I understand. I'm sure he's
going to do very well here.

But tell me about
extracurricular programs.

Does Josh have any interests
or hobbies ?

Well, he used to like to play
basketball with his dad,

but he's lost interest
in that too.

Well, let's see.
We have an excellent band.

Oh, I used to play the flute
when I was his age. That was fun.

I think an instrument
would be just the thing !

[ Man ] No, no, no.
Don't blow so hard.

Okay, blow a little harder.

Hey, Mike, pass !

- Pick up. Come on.
- Come on.

Go ! Come on, sh**t !

sh**t !

I know, Mom. It's not called
moonlighting. Oh, I found it.

Yeah, it's--
It's-- It's-- No !

It's not moonlighting.
You're allowed to have two jobs.

Hmm ? Mom, would you hold on
a minute ? I have another call.

- Hello. Oh, y--
- ? Q-R-S, T-U-V ?

- Yes, Mrs. Grayson. Hi.
- ? W-X ??

I figured out why Bolivia
didn't get the napkins.
Venezuela got 'em. Yeah.

Sorry, sweetie,
that was Grandma on the phone.

- How was school ?
- It sucks.

How was the trombone ?

Aw, sweetie.

I'm sorry.

You know, we've all been
through a lot in this last year.

But I know we're gonna
get through it.

This is a good place.

All we gotta do is just give it
our best shot every day.

Your dad would've wanted it
that way.

I guess.

Sure. He wouldn't have
wanted you being all mopey.

I love you.

Check out the new kid.

It looks like he stole that ball
from the Harlem Globetrotters.

How you doin', buddy ?

[ Man ]
All right, listen up !

Now, you're here today to try out
for the school's finest tradition:

basketball.

Now, I've got five of my boys
back from last year,

including leading scorer
Larry Willingham.

Raise your hands, gentlemen.

This year, we are goin' all the way.
Why's that, Willingham ?

- 'Cause we're winners, sir.
- That's right.

We are here to win...

'cause if you can win
on the courts,

you can win at life.

Get your butts out here.
Let's see if you can play ball.

What team you playin' for ?
What team you playin' for ?
Who's gonna win ?

- Who's gonna win ?
- [ Together ] Timberwolves !

- I can't hear you !
- [ Together ] Timberwolves !

What team's gonna win ?

- Good night, Art.
- Good night.

Hey, kid,
you're new here, right ?

Well, uh, I could use
a manager.

- Well--
- Manager works his butt off.

He arrives before the team.
He leaves after the team.
Think you can handle it ?

Practice is Friday afternoon.
You be here.

Hey, boy. Want me to get
those rags off ya ?

Yes, Mrs. Grayson, I know,
but that account needs to be zeroed out.

[ Gasping ]
Mm. I know.

Could you hold on a minute ?
I have another call. Thanks.

Hi. Hello ? Oh, hi ! Weren't you guys
supposed to start wallpapering today ?

-Josh, would you eat something, please ?
-? I don't know why ??

Whoa.

You like basketball ?

Hey, boy, come and get it !
Come and get it !

Hey, boy.

Good boy.

Okay, in you go.

Come on.

Come on.

Come on. My mom's
gonna be home at 5:00.

Wait a minute.

Hey, boy ! Yeah, good boy, good boy.
You want it, boy ?

You want the ball ?
You want the ball ?

Yeah, go get it,
go get it.

? Splish, splash
I was takin' a bath ?

? Long about a Saturday night ?

? Rub, dub
Just relaxin' in the tub ?

? Thinkin' everything
was all right ?

? Well, I stepped out the tub
put my feet on the floor ?

? I wrapped the towel around me
and I opened the door ?

? And a splish splash
I jumped back in the bath ?

? Well, how was I to know
there was a party goin' on ?

? There was
a-splishin' and a-splashin' ?

? Reelin' with the feelin'
movin' and a-groovin'
rockin' and a-rollin' ?

? Yeah ?

? Bing, bang
I saw the whole g*ng ?

? Dancin' on
my living room rug, yeah ?

- ? Flip, flop they was doin' the bop ?
- Stay, buddy.

? All the teens
had the dancin' bug ?

? Yeah, there was Lollipop
with Peggy Sue ?

? Good golly, Miss Molly
wasn't even there too ?

? With a splish, splash ?

? Rollin' and a-strollin'
reelin' with the feelin' ?

? Movin' and a-groovin'
splishin' and a-splashin' ?

? Oh, yeah ??

- Josh, I'm home !
- Buddy, stay.

And don't move until I come back.

- There you go.
- [ Mumbling ]

Hi, Mom !
Can I help with the groceries ?

- Excuse me ?
- Can I help with the groceries ?

How was your day ?

Okay, what's going on ?

What's wrong ?

Nothing ! Can't a guy even help
his mom with the groceries ?

What did you do ?

Mom, do you remember
when I used to have a hamster ?

- You want another hamster ?
- No !

- Not exactly.
- Josh, spit it out !

Oh, my God.

[ Mom Screaming ]
Oh, my God !

No !

Buddy ! Ew !

So, can I keep him ?

Oh, here.

I got an idea.

Josh, would you
come in here, please ?

Uh-oh. Buddy, you gotta
stay here, okay ?

Buddy, no.

- You gotta stay outside.
- [ Dog Whimpers ]

- Hey, Mom, you wanted to see me ?
- What are you doing ?

- What do you mean ?
- The box.

- The box ?
- Don't get funny with me, Josh.

- I know what you're doing.
- What am I doing ?

You are making a home for him,
and this is not his home.

- The next thing you know--
- Mom, we can't leave him
out in the rain.

- That's totally inhuman.
- That's just the point, Josh.

He's not human.
He's a stray.

Do not get attached
to this dog, Josh. Do not !

No, I have way too much
on my plate as it is.

- I'd take care of him.
- Josh, we don't know anything
about this dog.

We have your little sister
to think about. No. The answer is no.

One week, and if nobody claims him,
he goes straight to the pound.

- Three weeks ? Two and a half ?
- Two.

- Josh !
- Christmas. That's like two weeks
and a couple days, right ?

That's perfect.
We can't dump him before Christmas.

- Please, please, please.
- All right, all right, Christmas.

But the minute after,
he's outta here.

Meanwhile, he stays outside. And if you
try to sneak him in here just once--

Mom, Mom, Mom.
I swear.

All right.
As long as we're clear.

I swear, you're gonna grow up
to be a lawyer someday.

- Josh, did you see my newspaper ?
- No, Mom !

Morning, Mom !

- Buddy, how are ya ?
- [ Barking ]

How are ya, boy ?
Did you have a good sleep ? Did ya ?

- That's a good boy.
- [ Barking ]

- Don't drag your feet.
Don't drag your feet.
- I got the shot.

- Down, down. Let's go !
- [ Whistle Blowing ]

Stewart, don't try to be a hero.
Your job on this team is to get
the ball to Willingham.

- Let's go !
- [ Whistle Blowing ]

- Pass it off. Let's go !
- [ Boy ] Move it, move it. Back.

[ Coach ] That's it.
Let's go, Curtis.

What's the matter, water boy ?
[ Laughing ]

Let's go !

Hey, get out. Can't you see
this is wet paint ?

He shoots... and scores !

- [ Barking ]
- Here !

Good boy !

Cool. Pizza.

[ Baby ]
Me too. Who is it ?

What's with Josh today ?

Whoa ! How did you
get up here ?

Hey !
[ Grunting ]

Josh !

- No !
- Are you okay ?

- Josh !
- I'm fine, Mom !

Josh ?

Josh !

- Is everything okay in here ?
- Yeah, Mom.

Everything's fine.
Just doin' my homework.

Why don't I take care
of that laundry as long as I'm here ?

No ! I'll do it later.

You work so hard, Mom.

It'll be good for me.

Hello ?
Yes, this is Mrs. Framm.

Yes, my son put up
those flyers.

Oh, no, no. I'm sure he didn't mean
to put one up on private property.

Oh, I'm so sorry. Oh.

- Yeah !
- [ Dog Whimpers ]

Hey, Jackie ! What's new ?

I wouldn't know.

- Bye, Mom. I got practice.
I'll be home late.
- Bye, honey.

That's it, gentlemen.
Showers !

You tried to get that slam dunk.
Yeah, right.

- Cold water.
- Huh ?

Make sure you use
cold water.

They'll come out all miniaturized
if you don't.

Okay.

I don't get it.

You don't get what ?

Why are you puttin' yourself
through this ?

I guess I just like basketball.

Whoa !

-[ Bell Ringing ]
-And have a wonderful holiday, children.

We'll see you all in two weeks.

Excuse me, sir.

Could you sign this ?

You think this is me ?

- It isn't ?
- No, kid.

That guy's dead.
Died a long time ago.

Oh, okay.

Thanks anyway.

"Yes, Virginia,
there is a Santa Claus.

He exists as certainly as love
and generosity and devotion exist.

And you know that they abound
and give to your life...

its highest beauty and joy.

Alas, how dreary would the world be
if there were no Santa Claus.

There would be no childlike
faith then.

No poetry, no romance to make
tolerable this existence.

Nobody can conceive
or imagine...

all the wonders that are unseen
and unseeable in the world.

The most real things
in the world...

are those that neither children
nor men can see.

No Santa Claus ?

Thank God he lives,
and he lives forever.

A thousand years from now,
Virginia--

nay, ten times 10,000 years
from now--

he will continue
to make glad...

the heart of childhood."

Hey, Buddy, it's Christmas.

Buddy ? Buddy ?

Buddy !

- Merry Christmas, Josh.
- Buddy !

Thank you, Mom.
Thank you, thank you,
thank you, thank you !

I gotta get these flyers out
to the boys who tried out
for the team and didn't make it.

The Simmons twins moved to Canada.
God knows why.

I got two slots open.

You know which lockers
belong to which boys ?

Don't even waste
your time, water boy.

I wish my dad were here.

He always knew what to do.

No, Buddy ! No.

I don't wanna play.

Fine. You can play.

No way.

I don't believe this.

- [ Barking ]
- Come on, boy.

Sit, boy.

[ Gasping ]
Whoa !

Yes !

[ Giggling ]

I don't know where
you learned to do this,

but just to be on the safe side,
our secret, okay ?

Yeah, that's
a good boy. Yeah.

All right, gentlemen,
listen up.

Now, we're off
to a rocky start.

We're two and two.

If we're gonna make it to the play-offs,
we're gonna have to start winnin'.

Which is why I'm lookin'
for a couple of winners.

There's nine of you here.
Only two of you are comin' back.

Framm ! You're late !
Bring over that rack of ba*ls !

I'm here to try out
for the team.

- [ Laughing ]
- He can't try out. He's the water boy.

Framm, where did you get that ?

It was in my locker.

Well, it wasn't supposed to be.

Would it be too much trouble
if I tried out anyway ?

Coach, just let him.

All right, but if you slow down
my tryout, I'm gonna have to
pull you out.

Fast break, fast break !

Yes !

Resync By
^^Lututkanan@subscene^^

Look at my new shoes, man.

Nervous ?

This always brought me good luck.
You should carry it tonight.

- An orange peel ?
- Not just any orange peel.

Scottie Pippen dropped this orange peel
at the Sonics game. I picked it up.

- I can't take this, Tom.
- It's okay.

I got this
out of Shawn Kemp's trash.

Water boy.

Just stay out of my way.

Josh. Hi !
Josh !

- Yea, Josh.
- [ Buzzer Buzzing ]

Be a man, Larry !

You make the basket,
then you draw the foul ! Come on !

- Pass, pass !
- Over here, Larry. Over here.

They're killin' us on the transitions.
Full-court press.

- All right ? Timberwolves !
- [ Shouting ]

Stewart ! I don't wanna see you
drop the ball again. You got it ?

- [ Whistle Blowing ]
- That was our ball, ref !

- Hacking number three,
hacking number three.
- Get your butt over here !

The only one allowed to mouth off
at the referee is me.

- Framm, check in !
- Me ?

Do you see any other Framms
sittin' here ? Check in !

Yea, Josh !

Framm, number four,
now entering the game.

- Pass it off !
- Go, go, go !

- Buddy !
- [ Crowd Gasping ]

Get him !

Buddy, no !

Buddy, stop !

Hey, gimme that.
Gimme that ball.

- Excuse me.
- Get back here !

Buddy, get over here !

Buddy, no !

Buddy. Bad dog.

Sorry, Josh.
Come on, Buddy.

- Hey, boy.
- Josh.

Did you know that Buddy
could do that ?

- Did you know that he could
play basketball ?
- There he is !

Oh, the man of the hour.

And the dog !

I swear I wouldn't have believed it if
I hadn't seen it with my own two eyes.

A basketball-playing dog !
[ Laughing ]

A regular
Michael "Woof" Jordan.

You've been keeping this under your hat.
[ Chuckling ]

Oh, but I'm going on like a faucet.
Melissa, this is Mrs. Framm...

and her talented son, Josh.

- Hi.
- Hi.

I'm the president
of the Booster Club,

and I wondered if, maybe,
you and--

- Buddy.
- Buddy-- could do that trick
at the next half-time show.

Wouldn't he be
a great mascot ?

It would be great
for school spirit !

Buddy ?

Buddy.

You're never gonna drop
another ball again, Stewart.

You could do that.
Just meet the ball.
Just catch the ball.

What's going on here ?

- Just running Tom
through a little drill.
- That'll be enough, Joe.

That'll be enough.

Good boy.

Hi, I'd like to report a problem
with my morning newspaper delivery.

I'm not getting one.
No, I haven't gotten one for weeks now.

I keep calling and calling.

Look, my neighbors have them,
and I don't.

Oh, no, I'm sure he's
a really great, great paperboy.

- [ Glass Shattering ]
- Josh !

- Miss Pepper ?
- Mm-hmm.

Um, have you found
a basketball coach yet ?

Mmm. Larry's father volunteered.
Just until we find a new P.E. teacher.

Okay.

- Mmm.
- Um--

Would it be weird
if I made a suggestion ?

Afternoon.

Uh, let's get started.

You see this ball ?

- I don't see nothin'.
- Well, I do. It's a good ball.

Regulation weight, size.

A little worn,

but still has
a nice bounce to it.

Don't-- Don't hang on to it, Josh.
Pass it on.

Nice catch.

- Uh-oh. Fumble.
- This is stupid.
Let's get a real ball in here.

A ball is nothing
but rubber and air, Larry.

Basketball...
is what you do with it.

Before you play with this,

you gotta learn how to play
with your teammates.

All right, all right.
Pass the ba*ls.

Stop the dribbling.
Pass the ball.

Good, good, good.
Looking good.

- [ Larry ] Two points !
- Fine.

- Only you didn't have the ball.
- What ?

You're not watching
your teammates, Larry. You're
playing with an invisible ball.

You gotta get your information
from somewhere else.

Now, let's try it again.

Resync By
^^Lututkanan@subscene^^

It's half.

[ Clears Throat ]
May I have your attention, please ?

Uh, we have a real treat
for you tonight, folks.

I'd like you all to welcome
our very own guard Josh Framm...

and the new mascot
for the Timberwolves' basketball team...

Air Bud !

- Great !
- [ Cheering ]

Come on. Come on.

Good boy.
Yeah, good boy.

[ Sighs ]
Let's go.

Let's go.

Come on.
I'm just playing.

Yeah, good boy.
Just like we always do.

You can do this.

You already showed me that.

Don't worry about
all those people. Hey.

Good boy. Yeah. Good boy.
Let's go. Come on. Let's go, boy.

Come on. Let's go.
You wanna play ? Good boy.

[ Stewart ]
Pass the ball. Let's go.

I'm open.
Larry, come on !

Larry, out !

What ?
Why are you taking me out ?

- Josh, go on in for Larry.
- Huh ?

What the hell
do you think you're doin' ?

- Time, ref !
- [ Whistle Blows ]

- Why are you takin' my kid out ?
- 'Cause he's playin'
like a one-man team.

- This boy is the team.
- Maybe he is to a worked-up father,

but to me, he's a player
who's got a whole lot to learn.

Now I'll kindly ask you to take
your seat, Mr. Willingham.

Let me get back
to coaching my team.

Come on, Larry.
We're leavin'.

- But, Dad ?
- Now !

Check in, Josh.

Chris ! Chris !

A lot easier when the pressure's off,
isn't it ?

I thought if I made the basket,
the guys would've,

you know, accepted me.

You took that shot for
the wrong reasons, Josh. See that dog ?

- Yeah.
- Toss him the ball.

Okay.

That dog couldn't give
a rat's behind...

about his point average,
whether he's M.V.P.

He just loves to play the game.

I've seen a lot of players
in the pros...

Iike that guy Chaney,
for instance,

make the same mistake you made.

If you're just out there
for yourself, you lose.

It's all in here, Josh.

You gotta play
from the heart.

That's it.
Concentrate on the ball.

Good. Good !
Now you're gettin' it.

Yeah !

That's great !

Go, Buddy !

We're here
at Fernfield School...

where the Timberwolves
have just qualified...

for next week's final
against the Warriors.

Even more amazing than the Timberwolves'
miraculous mid-season turnaround...

is their mascot's
incredible abilities.

His name is Buddy,

but this is no ordinary
golden retriever.

He's more of a golden sh**ter.
Don't believe me ? Take a look.

Buddy.

[ Sighs ]
Oh.

- [ Gasping ]
- Oh, hey.

Sorry to disturb ya.
Name's Norm Snively.
I believe you've got my dog.

- Huh ? What ?
- My dog.

You know, Old-- Old--

Old Blue.

- Uh--
- Uh, here.

There's a picture of him.
That's him and me.

- You see, I'm a clown by profession.
- Um--

- Maybe you'd like to see his papers.
- Uh-- Uh--

- Josh.
- No !

Blue, yes.
Now you're comin' home with Daddy.

- No ! You can't take him !
- Josh ! Honey, honey !

- [ Dog Whines ]
- Josh, there's nothing that we can do.

- He's got papers.
- He's my dog !

-Please, sir, could we pay you ?
-Look, lady, I just want
my dog back, okay ?

He hates you !
He hates you !

- Baby, it's okay.
- I'll tell you what, kid.

On your next birthday,
me and the dog, we'll come out,
we'll do a show for you cheap.

It's okay. It's okay.
Baby, it's okay. Josh !

- [ Engine Starts ]
- Please, just talk to me !

Please ! Wait !

A beer commercial ? No, I don't want
my dog to do beer commercials.

- Psst, Buddy.
- [ Whimpering ]

Look, what do you think
I am anyway ?

I got-- I'm-- I got--
Look, I got ethics.

- Buddy.
- [ Whimpering ]

Just for curiosity's sake, though,

what are we talking about for
one of those beer commercials ?

Would you shut up out there !

- [ Grunting ]
- What's that ?

- We're talking about how much ?
- Hey, Buddy.

Oh, that kind of blows ethics
right out of the water, doesn't it ?

I mean, hey, he's just a dog.
What does he know ?

No, April's not good for us.
We're booked on a tour.

Wait !

Is that Oprah woman-- Oprah,
you know, the Oprah woman--

Does she like dogs ?

I'd love to do Jay Leno.
[ Chuckling ]

Hey !
Get back here with my dog !

Buddy, come on. Run !

You little darned kid !
That's my dog !

- Go, Buddy !
- [ Groaning ]

I got you, kid !

- Go, Buddy, go !
- [ Shouting ]

Hey !

Get out of my way !

Hey !

You can't run fast enough !

I needed that !

Hey!

I'm gonna get you,
you little--

Thanks.

Here, boy.

Come on, boy.

Buddy ?

I know you're only a dog,

so I don't expect you to understand
what I'm gonna say.

You can't come home with me.

That guy'll just come
and take you back.

You gotta understand that--

Well, Buddy, I found you.

Somebody else
is gonna find you too.

I know they'll love you,
so I'm gonna set you free.

Here, I got you
a little something.

Stupid thing.

I wish I could go back to before I
ever knew you could make a basket.

Maybe none of this
would've ever happened.

Go on, Buddy.
You're free now.

Go !

Go on.

[ Sighs ]
Buddy ! Get.

You have to go, Buddy.

Please, Buddy. Go.

[ Crying ]
Get !

Go ! Get out of here !
Don't you understand ?

Get ! I don't want you anymore !

Get !

You wanna play, Buddy ?

Yeah, good boy.

- Come on, Buddy. Yeah, good boy.
- [ Barking ]

Just like we always do.

[ Cheerleaders ]
? Let's go, Wolves ?

? Let's go, Wolves ?

You know, they say
a team is a community,

which means when one boy
gets the chicken pox,

half the team is out.

- You boys have got your work
cut out for you tonight.
- ? Let's go, Wolves ?

These last months have been
some of the best I've ever had.

I owe that
to you boys here...

and maybe to a dog...

who isn't here.

Because whatever
happens tonight,

this is a team,

and that's a victory
right there.

- Now, are you ready to play ?
- [ Together ] Yeah !

All right, let's go get 'em !

[ Together ]
Yeah, Timberwolves !

You're goin' down tonight,
water boy.

- Larry plays for the Warriors now ?
- Yeah.

Hawkes just told me Larry's dad
moved the whole family to Spokane...

just so he could play
for the Warriors.

- Great.
- It's okay.

I'm packing Dennis Rodman's
Juicy Fruit.

- [ Buzzer Buzzing ]
- What's the most important word ?

- [ Together ] Teamwork !
- Let's go.

Come on, Lar ! That's it !
Show 'em how it's done, boy !

That's my boy !

Sean, left hook, Sean.

[ Laughing ]
What's the matter, water boy ?

- Nice job ! Nice job !
- [ Laughing ]

Pass the ball ! Pass it !

- Time, ref !
- Let's go, let's go, let's go.
Come on. Sit down.

Sit down. Rest.
Here we go.

I'm tired, Coach.
We're dyin' out there.

You gotta let the ball
do the work.

Come on.
We're only down by ten.

- We got almost a whole
second half to hit 'em.
- [ Buzzer Buzzing ]

All right, put those hands together.
Come on, come on.

[ Together ]
One, two, three. Let's go !

Josh, down low, down low.

- Way to go !
- [ Cheering ]

Defense !

- Yes !
- Hey, all right now ! All right !

- Cover him, cover him.
- What was that, Greg ?
- [ Groaning ]

- That's five, son. You're out of here.
- [ Grunting ]

- Time, ref ! Time !
- Huddle up, huddle up, huddle up.

Come on. No more fouls, guys.
We can't afford to lose anyone else.

All right,
the game's not over yet.

A whole lot can happen
in seven minutes.

Remember what got us here ?
Teamwork.

Up high !

Yeah, yeah !

Injury. Time-out.

[ Referee ] Come on, guys.
Help 'em up. You okay ?

All right. Okay, fellas,
you did your best.

It's over, Coach.
Let's forfeit.

We've only got four players.
What are we gonna do ?

Hold your head up
and do the best you can.

- We'll beat 'em with four guys.
- [ Barking ]

Come back here !
Hey, get out of there !

Buddy !

Buddy !

Hey, fellas, I got an idea.

? Let's go, Wolves ?

K9 checking in.

? Let's go, Wolves ?

What the heck's goin' on here ?

- I'll handle this, Josh.
- The Timberwolves wanna
substitute a dog.

- What are they, nuts ?
- Dog's a registered member of the team.

He practices with the team.
He travels with the team.

You check in your rule book.
Bet you won't find anything
that says a dog can't play.

He's right. Ain't no rule
that says a dog can't play basketball.

This is a joke.
I mean, dogs don't play basketball.

What's the matter, gentlemen ? Afraid
your team might get beat by a dog ?

[ Together ]
Put him in.

[ Announcer ]
Now entering the game, new player...

K9.

Okay, boy,
we're just playing. Stay.

- Stay.
- [ Whistle Blowing ]

Yes ! Yes !

Yeah !
Nice shot !

- Does he dribble ?
- No, but he might drool a little bit.

Won't somebody cover the dog ?
Don't just look at the dog. Cover him !

Come on ! Come on, Larry.
Let's have a little hustle.

[ Groaning ]
Come on. Let's go !

- Get it, Buddy. Get it. Get it.
- [ Whistle Blowing ]

- Let it go, Buddy.
- Come on. Break it up.

Break it up.
Give me the ball.

Give me the ball.

Aw, jeez.

Come on. You ready ?
Here we go.

Yeah ! All right !
That's great !

That's the way !

[ Warriors Coach ]
Yeah, okay. All right, all right.

- [ Cheering ]
- Yes ! Yes !

Would somebody cover the dog ?

- Cover him.
- My mother could cover that dog.

Dog's in for two minutes,
he's got three assists.

[ Crowd Chanting ]
Buddy, Buddy, Buddy, Buddy !

Buddy, Buddy, Buddy !

- Can someone cover that dog ?
- I don't believe this.

- Oh, he's traveling. He's traveling.
- Traveling dog.

Don't let him go to his left.
Don't let him go to his left.

- Good dog, Buddy !
- What are you doing ?
- [ Groaning ]

- Would you look at that dog !
- Go !

Foul, number six.
One and one.

Come on, Buddy !

T-Toss it to him,
I guess.

That's it, Buddy. Go on.
You can do it, Buddy. You can do it.

Larry, get in there !

Teamwork ! Teamwork !

That's my son !

Yes !

Water boy !

Nice shot.

I'll take my dog back now.

- He doesn't wanna go with you.
- What's the problem ?

There's no problem, Ms. Framm.

Your son's had his little fun.
Now I think it's time to give me
back what's rightfully mine.

You know what, Mr. Snively,
I believe my son is right.

That dog doesn't like you.
So the answer is no.

[ Chuckling ]
You don't have any choice, lady.

I got papers.

I'll see you in court.

Next case:
Snively versus Framm.

This one of your high-profile
divorce cases ?

- No, sir. Custody.
- Oh, custody.

Holy Toledo, what is that dog
doing in the courthouse ?

That's the, uh, child, sir.

That's a pretty ugly kid.

- [ Observers Laughing ]
- It's a dog.

- What ?
- The case is about custody of a dog.

All right, I'll take it,
but we have to do this seriously.

I will not have my courtroom
turned into some kind of a circus.

Who the hell are you ?

Mr. Norman F. Snively,
Your Honor.

I'm the plaintiff.

- You look like an idiot.
- Why, thank you, sir.

See, I'm a clown by profession.
Happy Slappy's the name.
Clown and the Hound.

Begging your humblest pardon, I thought
it might be helpful to Your Honor...

if I appeared here today
in the guise most pertinent...

to the cogent and unequivocal
stating of my case.

Whatever, whatever.
Y-Y-You go first, clown.

Well, the fact is, Your Honor,
that dog's my property,
and I have papers to prove it.

Well, would you show them
to me, please ?

Well, actually, Your Honor,
l-l had papers to prove it.

But that boy--
that young hooligan--

because of his irresponsible
and criminal activity,
is responsible for what you see.

- Order !
- [ Barking ]

You see, sir, when I lost
my dog for the first time,

it broke me up real bad.

When I lost him the second time,
it darn near k*lled me.

Hell's bells, Your Honor,
all I wanna do is get Old Blue back.

So it can be him and me together
just like it always was.

Why ? So you can
abuse him some more ?

- That will be enough, young man.
- [ Barking ]

I raised that dog from a puppy.
I wouldn't harm a hair on his head !

- Bailiff, what is that ?
- The dog, Your Honor.

- Order !
- [ Barking ]

- Quiet !
- [ Barking ]

- It's the gavel, sir.
- What ? Speak up !
- [ Barking ]

- Bailiff !
- [ Barking ]
- You said "speak."

- Speak !
- [ Barking ]

Will somebody please
suppress that dog ?

- Shh !
- [ Observers Laughing ]

Oh, what a day.
What a day.

- [ Glass Thuds ]
- Now then--

Young man,
have you any evidence...

that this man
abused your dog ?

Did you ever see him
hit the dog ?

Well... no.

Then how did you know
the dog was abused ?

Because Buddy doesn't like him.
Buddy's my friend.

I know what he's feeling,
so he knows what I'm feeling.

- He's telling the truth, Your Honor.
- Who's that ?

- The boy's mother.
- Oh, it's all right, you may sp--

You may address the court.

When we first moved to this town,

uh, my son...

was very unhappy.

And then he found Buddy here.

Buddy's given him something
to look forward to.

Please, please,
don't take Buddy away from my son.

Mrs. Framm, as far as
this court is concerned,

- the dog is property
unless you have evidence--
- Your Honor.

All these people here did not come here
because of a piece of property.

They came here because of Buddy.
He's part of this town.

He's part of the team, and he's part
of our family now, Your Honor.

- Well, he's part of my family too !
- [ Booing ]

He's like a son to me !

- Shut up !
- [ Barking ]

Why not let the dog choose,
Your Honor ?

They say a dog
is man's best friend.

If that's the case,

shouldn't the dog be able to choose
who he wants to be friends with ?

Who are you, Barnum or Bailey ?

- Arthur Chaney, Your Honor.
- Mr. Chaney, do you reali--

Arthur Chaney ?
New York Knicks, '56 ?

Huh. I was at that Celtics game
where you did the turnaround
jumper at the buzzer.

I spilled beer
all over my wife.

- Your Honor.
- What ?

- Oh, yes, yes, yes.
[ Clears Throat ]
- [ Barking ]

- Mr. Chaney.
- Well, I've been thinking.

This dog's what,
three, four years old.

That makes him an adult
in our years.

- I say let Buddy decide.
- [ Observers Murmuring ]

Mr. Chaney, during my 40 years
on the bench,

I have heard a lot of lamebrain
c*ck proposals,

but this one... I like.

Move back, everybody ! Way back.
Come along now. Way back.

Gentlemen,
stay on your spots.

If you'll take just one single step
toward that dog, you lose.

Do you understand ?

Now, begin calling the dog.

Old Blue, come to Daddy.

Buddy, come on.
Buddy, come on, please. Buddy, Buddy.

Buddy, Buddy !

- Daddy loves ya, baby.
- Buddy, Buddy.

- Buddy, come on, please.
Buddy, come on.
- Daddy loves ya.

- Hey, Buddy !
- Come on. Come on, boy !

- Buddy, come on. Come on.
- Don't pay any attention to that boy.

- Come on. You wanna come to me.
- Buddy !

- Buddy ! Buddy !
- Come to Daddy !

- Hey, good boy. Come on, Buddy.
- Hey, Blue !

Blue, Blue, come on.

- Come on, Buddy.
Please. Please, Buddy.
- Blue !

-Come on.
-Blue ! Hey, over here. Come on, Blue.

- Look what Daddy's got for ya.
- No, Buddy !

Buddy ! Buddy !

Old friend, come on.
Come this way. Come on.

- Buddy, no. Buddy, no !
- Get over here !

That's right, boy.
Come on. Come on.

- Come on. Over this way.
- Buddy, don't !

- You're gonna get it.
- Buddy, no !
- Get over here !

- Get over here !
- [ Growling ]

[ Screaming ]
What are you doing ?

Stupid dog !

Yeah, come on !

By the powers vested in me, I award
custody of the dog to Josh Framm.

Case closed.
Thank God.

You can't do that !

That dog is my dog !
I got pictures !

Will somebody suppress
that clown ?