(Music Playing)
Jiminy Cricket:
♪ When You Wish Upon A Star ♪
♪ Makes No Difference
Who you are ♪
♪ Anything
Your heart desires ♪
♪ Will Come To You ♪
♪ If Your Heart
Is in your dream ♪
♪ No Request
Is too extreme ♪
♪ When You Wish ♪
♪ Upon A Star ♪
♪ As Dreamers Do ♪
(Groans)
(Laughing)
(Thud)
(Thud)
Boy, talk about
your lucky puppet.
I'd give anything if
only I could become
a real live boy
like that pinocchio.
Aah!
Is that what
you wish for
above all other things,
dear spot?
Oh, yes,
dear blue fairy.
Being a real
live boy
is the most
important thing
in the whole
wide world to me.
Then close your eyes
very tightly,
dear spot,
and wish for it
with all your heart.
I wish I was a boy.
(Chimes)
I wish
I was a boy.
(Bonk)
I wish
I was a--
(Bonk)
Ow, you're
hurting me,
dear blue fairy.
(Man's Voice)
I ain't no fairy!
And it's time to get up.
Sorry, pretty boy.
It's just that
I was having
the most
wonderful dream.
Him with the dream again.
It's not enough
you dress up like a boy
and go to that
c*ck school every day!
No. "I want to be a boy.
I want to be a boy."
Well, wise up, pupchik!
I want to be a rooster
in a henhouse,
but I don't see it
happenin'!
Although I'd be
a darn good one,
wouldn't I,
Mr. Jolly?
Ohhh...la.
It's a bit early in the day
for hypothetical
speculations,
but...you? A rooster?
(Laughs)
It is to laugh.
Who asked you,
tuna breath?
You're still in bed?!
Come on, get up.
You don't want to be late
for the last day
of school, do you?
And ruin my perfect
attendance record?
I don't think so.
Come on, let's go!
Pants?
Check.
Shirt?
Check.
Tail.
Tucked.
Eyebrows?
Plucked!
Ears in cap?
Ooh, a table scrap.
Chow?
Demolished.
Apple?
Polished!
World, here I come! Ha!
♪ Born On The Wrong End
Of the leash ♪
♪ I Was A Dreamer ♪
Chorus:
♪ And A Little Schemer ♪
♪ A Simple Mutt
Livin' a dog's life ♪
♪ But The Bell For School
Would make me drool ♪
♪ Till I Came Up
With this clever ploy ♪
Chorus: ♪ WHICH IS TO SAY,
Dressing like a boy ♪
♪ Now He Thinks He Can Take
Other pets a peg down ♪
♪ Hey, I'm A Dog
Who's learned ♪
♪ To Keep His Leg Down ♪
♪ I Gotta Be A Boy ♪
Cats: ♪ HE'S SO OVER
Just being rover ♪
♪ Gotta Be A Boy ♪
Kids: ♪ THIS TEACHER'S PET
Thinks that he's a boy ♪
He da b*mb.
♪ He's A Regular Whiz Kid ♪
Yeah, but--
♪ Hey, That's How
It is, kid ♪
Leonard:
♪ Now That Summer's Here ♪
♪ You'll Be A Dog
Like any other ♪
♪ Leonard, Haven't You
Always wanted a brother? ♪
♪ I Want To Have
A dog ♪
♪ Hey, I'm Off
The leash now ♪
♪ He's Eating
Quiche now ♪
♪ Gotta Be A Boy ♪
Kids: ♪ A BOY
And nothing but a boy ♪
♪ Nothing But A Boy ♪
♪ Don't You Think
You're stretching? ♪
Spot: ♪ QUIT
Your kvetching ♪
♪ Gotta Be A Boy ♪
♪ Spot,
You can fake it ♪
♪ But You'll Never
Be a boy ♪
♪ But Soft ♪
♪ Could What He Said
Be true? ♪
♪ Is This Really Just A Phase
I'm going through? ♪
I sure hope so.
♪ Shall I Go Back
To serving man? ♪
♪ Eat Wholesome Dinners
From a can? ♪
♪ Who Needs French
And scoring goals? ♪
♪ Come On, Let's Bark
And dig some holes ♪
What am I, nuts?
Leonard, wake up
and smell the kibble!
♪ I Gotta Be A Boy ♪
♪ Spot,
Sit and stay now ♪
♪ What Did You
Say now? ♪
♪ He's Gotta
Be a boy ♪
♪ I've Got To Be ♪
♪ It's Not To Be ♪
♪ I Long To Be ♪
♪ You're Wrong To Be ♪
♪ It's Great To Be ♪
♪ Great Trait To Be ♪
♪ We'd Hate To Be ♪
♪ Can't Wait To Be ♪
♪ My Mate-to-be ♪
♪ Too Late To Be ♪
♪ It's My Fate To Be ♪
♪ A Boy ♪
♪ A Dog ♪
♪ A Boy, A Boy ♪
♪ A Dog, A Dog ♪
♪ A Boy, Boy, Boy ♪
♪ Dog, Dog, Dog, Dog ♪
♪ Boy ♪
♪ Dog ♪
(School Bell rings)
♪ Bo-o-o-oy ♪
Boy!
Congratulations,
scott leadready ii,
on winning the fourth grade
perfect attendance medal!
Thank you,
Mrs. Helperman.
It's just the thing
to compliment
my math medal,
history medal,
and science medal,
not to mention
my medal for
self-esteem. Ohh!
Well, it's been
a gosh darned
jubilatious joy
teaching you!
And all of you.
Uhh!
(Sobbing) Oh, foo.
I promised myself
I wouldn't cry.
I'm just
going to Miss you...
All so much.
(All Sobbing)
(Muffled) Mom!
I told you a million times,
no hugs at school!
Oh, sorry, doodlebug.
I mean...
Dude, don't bug me.
Anyhoo, what yummy,
fun plans
does everyone have
for this summer?
I'm going
to my granny smith's
granny smith
apple farm.
All: WE'RE SKATIN' 24/7.
I'm grounded for a week
for hacking into
buckingham palace.
But after that, I get
to visit my uncle ivan,
who does strange and
disgusting experiments
on animals and people.
I mean, who knows?
Maybe next time
I see you guys,
I'll be able to breath
through my neck
like an amphibian!
Aah!
You're so weird, ian.
Wait'll you see me
with gills!
Heh! Hottie!
(Gasps) Aah!
Ahh! This summer.
Yeah, I know
what I'm doin'--
just playin'
with my best friend.
Hey! Aah!
Yeah, best friends
forever.
(Boing)
Calm down, angel eyes.
Now, poppy can't make
his announcement
with your sharp
little talons
in his adam's apple!
(Yowls)
Now, students
of the, uh, um....
Fourth grade,
principal strickler.
(Crying) But soon
to be fifth grade!
That's why I'm glad
I'm a principal.
None of this messy
student/teacher involvement.
They grow, they leave--
good riddance.
But I suppose it is
just that sort of
bushy-gushy loving
teacher stuff
that leads to this
announcement. Hmph!
Mrs. Mary lou helperman,
you have been selected
as a finalist
for the teacher
of the year award!
(All Cheering)
Neato!
That's right,
it's the NE.A.T.O.--
the national excellent
american teacher
organization award!
Leonard:
Way to go, mom!
And that's not all,
mary lou helperman!
As a finalist,
the fala d. Roosevelt
unified school district
will be sending you
to compete
in the final round
of competition
in beautiful sunny
southern Florida!
Florida!
And the fun doesn't end
there, mary lou helperman.
Oh, no. Because
you'll be travelling
to the sunshine state
in the luxury
of my very own personal
air-conditioned wentawaygo!
Yes, it's all yours.
Mi wentawaygo
es su wentawaygo.
I only have one,
uh, heh...
Little, tiny,
very simple rule--
certainly,
principal strickler.
Absolutely no dogs
are allowed
in my wentawaygo, ever!
I hate dogs!
(Crash)
(Music Playing)
(Whining)
Well, I guess this is
the time to say good-bye.
Oh, come on,
don't make it harder.
Don't give me
those big, sad dog eyes.
They're the only eyes
I got, leonard.
The eyes of a dog--
a dog who's not
going anywhere.
Just staying home...
(Sniffle)
By himself...
Here...alone!
The dog.
But you're not
going to be alone.
You've got pretty boy
and jolly,
and Mrs. Boogin's the nicest
pet-sitter in the whole world.
And besides,
it's only for 2 weeks.
Yeah, in boy-time, 2 weeks,
but everything in dog-time
is 7 times longer,
so for me it's 14 weeks.
(Sighs) It might
as well be forever.
Man, this really stinks.
You should smell it
from down here.
Ok, just 2 weeks,
then I'm back,
and it's you and me,
best friends,
together,
all summer long.
Aw, jeez, you're gonna
sing now, aren't you?
♪ I Know
It's been said ♪
Spot: OH, BOY.
♪ Everyone
Needs someone ♪
This is not
making it better.
♪ A Loyal Companion ♪
♪ To Share
In life's fun ♪
You're
k*lling me here.
♪ For A Day
At the park ♪
♪ Or A Game
Of leap frog ♪
Sing it with me, spot.
I thought
you'd never ask.
♪ A Friend Needs A Friend ♪
♪ A Boy Needs A Dog ♪
Leonard! Come on,
lenny-bones, hop in!
Let's skit-skat-skedoodle!
Florida's not gonna
come to us, you know?
Mwah!
Bye, spotty-wots!
Be a good doggie!
(Vroom, Screech)
(Sad Violin playing)
Whoa!
(Tires Screeching)
Don't forget your sun block.
Woman on TV: JOHN?
Man on TV: MARCIA?
John!
Marcia!
John!
Marcia!
Yawn! Mush-a!
John?
Marcia?
(Click)
(Static) You stupid people
with no lives
are watching
the barry anger show!
Aah!
Aah!
Hi, I'm barry anger,
and today on the hot seat,
we have Dr. Ivan krank,
a world-class wacko who--
get this--
claims he can turn animals
into human beings!
Huh? Turn animals
into human beings?
My dream come true!
Oh, now how did this trash
get on my tv?
Where's my clicker?
Oh, for goodness sakes,
where did I put that?
Hey!
(Meow)
Oh, silly me, I must have
left it in the kitchen.
Well, good excuse to get
us all some more yummies!
Moochie poochie!
God love her for the food,
but that woman is definitely
a couple of caraways
short of a seed bell.
Shh! Look!
Direct from Florida,
where the cuckoo nuts grow,
the world's biggest wacko,
Dr. Ivan krank!
I am not a wacko!
I am a man of science,
who has perfected
the neuro-electrical,
photo-pulsar-based
methodology to isolate
the genome on the dna strand
which will allow me
to transform dumb animals
into dumb human beings--
just like you!
Wow, it's
my dream come true!
(Bonk)
(Clap Clap)
Audience:
Wacko! Wacko! Wacko!
Wacko! Wacko! Wacko!
No! You are the wackos
if you don't believe
that the possibilities
for change in this world
are infinite!
And I'll prove it!
As soon as I find
the perfect animal subject
to turn into
a real live human being!
Me, Dr. Krank, me!
Hey, smart boy, let me
explain how tv works.
We can hear them,
but they can't hear us.
(Click)
(Snap)
I've got to meet that man.
He's the one chance
I have to finally make
my lifelong dream
come true!
But he's all the way
in Florida
where leonard and his mom
are headed right now!
What a coinkidink.
Coinkidink, Mr. Jolly?
Coinkidink?
That I just happened
to lay on that clicker
and change to that channel
and see that miracle man
who just happens
to live in Florida
where leonard
and his mom
just happen to be
going as we speak?
Coinkidink, Mr. Jolly...
Or fate?
Cover for me with
the pet-sitter, guys.
I'm goin' to Florida!
(Thump)
Aah! Cover with
the pet-sitter?
But how?
We have no experience!
And we have no time
to prepare! Oh, dear me!
Oh, this is bad.
This is very bad.
How will we ever
pull it off? Oh!
♪ La La La La ♪
Ooh!
Oh, mercy, spot!
I almost sat on you!
Do you love mommy?
I think we can
handle it.
(Screech)
(Sniffing)
(Panting)
(Music Playing)
Come on, leonard,
let's play a game.
" 20 questions." I'll start.
Here's your hint.
It's someone you love.
(Boing)
What? Spot?
Wow, good guess!
No, I saw him!
With my own eyes!
Oh, you want to play
that game. Ha ha ha!
All righty, I spy
with my little eye--
spot!
No, come on, honey,
spot can't be
the answer every time.
(Dramatic Music playing)
(Vroom)
(Chomp)
Mom, you gotta stop!
Ooh, ooh, you're right.
We do. We need gas.
(Screech)
(Cawing)
Ok, you fill 'er up, sweetie.
I've got to go powder my nose.
Cleanliness is next
to godliness,
but gas station
bathrooms are not.
Spot? Spot?
Where are you?
(Gasps)
(Vroom)
(Crying)
Oh, no...
Lose something, bunky?
Spot! Ha!
You're ok!
I can't believe it!
What are you
doing here?
I had to come, lenny!
How could I stay away?
I just love you so much
and wanted to be
with you so bad.
A friend needs a friend.
(Crying)
A boy needs a dog.
Ok, I also need
a lift to Florida
for my own self-serving
reasons, but why spoil
this beautiful moment
with that?
I love ya!
I want to be with ya!
Mmm, give us
another hug!
Oh, spot, good ol' boy!
Hey, wait a second.
Are you crazy?
You heard what
principal strickler said
about no dogs
in his wentawaygo.
And here comes
my mom right now!
What are
we gonna do, spot?
Spot?
Did you
just say spot?
No, Mrs. Helperman,
he said scott!
As in
scott leadready ii,
your old pal
from back home!
Who'da thunk it and
fancy meeting me here.
He's good.
Oh, scott,
I've missed you.
Really, Mrs. H?
How much?
Enough to take me on
the rest of your trip
to sunny southern
Florida? Heh heh!
Could we, mom?
Well, of course not, honey.
Scott's obviously
traveling with his family.
What family?
Oh! My family!
Sure, I'm traveling
with my family.
My whole family--
mom, sis, grandma,
uncle jojo,
the ventriloquist,
his dummy floyd--
my family!
Ooh, I love 'em!
I love 'em,
but darn the luck,
wouldn't you know,
they can't
go to Florida,
because--
because why?
There's been
an emergency?
Good. I mean,
it's a good emergency.
The kind where
they all have to go home,
but I can still
go to Florida with you.
Which is the good part,
so, come on,
let's hit the road!
Well, hmm, I'd certainly
need to discuss it
with your mother first.
Oy, you don't
make this easy.
She'll meet you
right over there.
She just, uh,
has to get dressed.
(Rattling)
(Whoosh)
Ooh, jeez!
What I have to go through
to become a real live boy!
Ooh!
Spot:
Why, mary lou helperman!
Hello and halleloo!
Ha ha ha!
If you weren't just
sent from heaven above
to take our dear
little scott to flor--
I'm sorry to interrupt,
Mrs. Leadready,
but do you want to hear
the funniest thing?
I brought that exact
same dress on this trip.
Oh, that is funny.
You're a stitch!
Anyway,
back to poor scott.
He so desperately
wants to go to Florida.
And I believe I packed that
same shade of lipstick, too!
Really?
What a coinkidink!
Anyway,
as I was saying--
and those earrings
look awfully familiar.
Are you gonna take him
or not?! Darlin'.
Well, gee,
shouldn't we check with
the rest of your family?
Oy. The rest of my--
I'll see
who's round the corner!
Yeah, yeah,
I tell ya--
thanks, gals.
(Lisping) Missus,
please take scott
to sunny
southern Florida,
so I can
have some peace
from all his
merciless teasing!
Young lady, I missed
my chance to see Florida
when I was the boy's age,
and look what a bitter old
woman I turned out to be!
You must be scott's--
I can't talk to you!
I'm too bitter!
(Irish Accent)
Hoity-toity-toity-toity-toi.
An' 'tis wishin' I am
that some fine soul
would take me scotty boy
to Florida.
Uncle jojo
the ventriloquist?
'Tis!
And where's
your dummy floyd?
Great St. Patty's
shillelagh!
The little leprechaun must
be around here somewhere.
Ok, you be floyd.
Me? I don't know
what to do!
Just shut up
and act dumb!
What?
Perfect!
Mrs. Helperman,
meet dummy floyd.
Take our scott, please!
Oh, ha ha ha! Ohh,
leonard's gotta see this.
Where'd he go?
And where's scott?
Oh, I'll find 'em,
colleen,
providin' you'll
hie me fine nephew
to fair Florida.
Well, of course,
I'll take him!
I've been planning
to take him all along.
And you couldn't
have just said that
to the lady in
the flowery dress?
Saints preserve us!
Say good-bye, floyd!
Top o'
the mornin' to ya!
Hey, I do the cliched
irish dialogue around here.
So, whassup?
So, whassup?
Well, scott, it looks like
you're coming with us
to Florida!
Yes!
Yes!
I'm on my way
to Florida!
Come on, everyone!
Time's a-wastin'!
Let's hit the road
and sing a song about it!
What is it with
this family and singing?
I'm starting to feel
von trapped.
(Vroom, Screech)
♪ There's A Whole Bunch
Of world in our backyard ♪
All: ♪ AN AWFUL LOT
Of world to see ♪
♪ Alabama, Alaska,
Arizona, Arkansas ♪
♪ And Now The States
That start with "c" and "d" ♪
♪ California, Colorado,
And Connecticut ♪
♪ Dear Delaware,
The very first state ♪
♪ Ohh ♪
♪ Florida And Georgia,
Hawaii, Idaho ♪
♪ Where They Grow
A lot of trout and potato ♪
♪ Right Smack In The Middle,
Little Illinois ♪
♪ Indiana And Iowa, Too ♪
♪ There's Kansas And Kentucky,
And way down south ♪
♪ Louisiana Is Shaped
Like a shoe ♪
Spot: ♪ AND STILL A LOT
Of states to do, whew! ♪
♪ 8 States Start With "M",
Now let's name them ♪
♪ Maine, Maryland,
And massachoooo-setts ♪
♪ Mich, Minneso,
Mississipp, show me mo ♪
♪ Montana, Now We're More
Than halfway through ♪
♪ Nebraska, Nevada,
AND THE "NEW"s ♪
♪ Hampshire, Jersey,
Mexico, and york ♪
♪ NOW THE "NORTH"s,
Carolina and dakota ♪
♪ Where Sacajawea
Guided lewis and clark ♪
♪ Ohio, Oklahoma,
And Oregon ♪
♪ Pennsylvania, Where They
Wrote the constitution ♪
♪ Little Rhode Island
And South Carolina ♪
♪ Where The Rebels Tried
To start a revolution ♪
♪ South Dakota, Tennessee,
And next to mexico ♪
♪ Texas, Where They Have
A lot of cows ♪
♪ Utah, Green Vermont,
And old virginny ♪
♪ Where George Washington
Took his first bow, wow! ♪
♪ We're All The Way
To "w" now ♪
♪ Washington,
West Virginia and Wisconsin ♪
♪ I Don't Know How Much
Higher I can sing ♪
(All Breathe deeply)
♪ But That's Ok
'Cause we've gone
all the way ♪
♪ From Alabama To Wyoming ♪
♪ From Alabama
To Wyomi-i-i-ing ♪
Spot: ♪ HEY! ♪
(Thunder)
Gee...
I was sure the map
said sunny Florida
was around here
somewhere.
Leonard: WOW!
Oh, here it is!
Ha ha ha ha!
(Squawk)
Aah!
Ha ha ha!
Oh!
Aaaah!
(Latin Music playing)
Aaaah! Aaah! Aaah!
Ha!
Ha ha ha!
(Thud)
Ahh.
I could get used
to this.
Oh, no, but I can't.
I'll be late
for the first round
of the teacher of
the year competition.
Have fun
on the beach, boys.
Stay near the lifeguard.
Meet me at the wentawaygo
for dinner
at 6:00 sharp!
Reapply your sunblock
every 2 hours!
Don't go in the water for at
least half an hour after you--
mom!
Ok, just
wish me luck!
Luck!
Luck!
All right,
she's gone.
We've got the whole day
to ourselves.
Leonard, I think to make
somebody's dream come true.
Way ahead of you, pal.
Fetch!
Spot: EXCUSE ME?
That's my dream.
You know,
a guy and his dog,
the beach, the stick,
the waves, the water.
Spot: UH, LEONARD,
I think we have
slightly different dreams.
We do?
What's your dream?
Well, heh heh heh,
I guess maybe I should've
mentioned it earlier,
but see,
there was this...
(Waves Crash)
...And changed
to that...
(Music Blaring)
...And concerned...
(Bird Squawk,
horn blows)
And that's the real reason
I had to come to Florida.
Oh. I get it.
I thought you came
to be with me,
but you really just
came for the ride.
No, I did come
to be with you...
And for the ride.
Aw, please, lenny!
I gotta have a shot
at my dream.
I don't know.
It all sounds
so wacko.
Anyway, you're not
supposed to be a boy.
You're supposed
to be my dog.
(Whimpering)
Oh, don't give me
the eyes.
No, not the sad
walk away.
Forget it. No.
(Whimpering)
Oh, all right.
We'll find
this Dr. Krank guy.
But as soon as you see
that I'm right
and he's nuts,
we'll march
right back here,
you'll be a dog,
I'll throw a stick,
and we'll make
my summer dream come true!
(Ptoo)
Good boy.
Woman on TV:
Juan.
Man on TV:
Marcia.
(Crying)
Juan!
(Crying)
Marcia!
(Sobbing)
Oh, the pathos and agony
of 2 beautifully
coiffed people in love!
Yeah, yeah,
been there, seen that.
What else is on?
Today, a barry anger show
exclusive follow-up...
We return the spotlight
to that wacko scientist
who claims
he can turn animals human--
Dr. Ivan krank!
All: WACKO, WACKO, WACKO!
Jolly, that's the guy
spot went to see!
But why is barry anger
returning the spotlight
to that wacko?
Why, you ask,
am I returning my spotlight
to that wacko?
I'll let officer white
of the okeebachokee bureau
of animal safety explain.
Dr. Ivan krank
is a dangerous fraud.
His experiments did not
turn animals human at all.
They turned them into
hideous, weird mutations
like this!
Aaah!
Ohhh!
We have to go
to Florida!
Why?
To keep spot from
being turned into that!
Ohhh!
This is no time
to stand around
screaming silently.
Come on!
Florida?!
Florida's outside!
I'm an indoor kitty.
I'm s-s-scared
of the o-o-outside.
Snap out of it,
hairball!
Come on,
dry those whiskers
and listen to me!
♪ You Gotta Believe ♪
♪ You Gotta Be Strong ♪
♪ You Gotta
Sharpen your claws ♪
♪ Fluff Up Your Tail,
And sing this fighting song ♪
♪ Small But Mighty,
Small but mighty ♪
♪ When You're Powerful
And wise ♪
♪ You Can Rise
Above any size ♪
♪ If You Belittle
Being little ♪
♪ Then Your Quest
Is doomed to fail ♪
♪ But When You're Small
But mighty ♪
♪ The Mighty
Shall prevail ♪
♪ You Gotta Persist ♪
♪ I Gotta Persist? ♪
♪ Never Say Die ♪
♪ Never Say Die? ♪
♪ You Gotta Be Fast
And fearless now ♪
♪ And Follow
This battle cry ♪
All: ♪ SMALL BUT MIGHTY ♪
♪ Small But Mighty ♪
♪ When You're Powerful
And wise ♪
♪ You Can Rise
Above any size ♪
♪ If You Belittle
Being little ♪
♪ Then Your Quest
Is doomed to fail ♪
♪ When You're Small
But mighty ♪
♪ Small
But mighty ♪
♪ When You're Small
But mighty ♪
♪ The Mighty Shall Prevail ♪
Onward!
(Sizzling)
Are you sure you got
Dr. Krank's address right?
Yeah, 666 .
Wait! Look!
Both: WOW.
Look at all
the high-techy-tech!
Ah ha ha!
I can't stand it!
♪ I'm Gonna Be A Boy ♪
(Honk)
Ooh!
(Fweep)
Spot: 665?
Oh, it must be the next one
down that-a-way.
Heh heh heh.
Florida--
land of surprises.
Trust me, fellas.
It's a great gig.
24-Hour a day soaps,
all the food
you can eat--
where else are you gonna
get a deal like that?
(All Mutter "I don't know")
Oh, spot!
And pretty boy!
And Mr. Jolly!
Come on in, boys.
There's fresh food
in the kitchen.
Her heart's in
the right place,
but, boy, could she use
a new set of bifocals.
Come on, jolly,
let's roll.
(Whimpering)
Are we there yet?
Oh!
Small but mighty.
Say it with me, baby!
(Screeching)
(Spot Reading)
Spot: WELL,
He means business.
This can't be it.
Dr. Krank:
This is it!
After this
experiment succeeds,
the world
will never again
call me wacko!
(Teeth Chattering)
And that
includes you...
Mommy!
Uhh!
(Click)
(Humming)
(Zap)
I have done it!
Success, at long last!
I have taken a frog,
and made it...
Moo.
(Plink)
(Plink)
I have failed again.
See? He's nuts.
It doesn't work.
Come on, let's go.
Well, of course it
doesn't work on a frog.
Hello? It's
a lower life form.
Moo.
No offense.
None taken.
Dennis! Adele!
Get in here now
and help me destroy
this stupid,
worthless machine!
Don't call it stupid,
daddy.
You made us with it.
And where is
the glory in that?
And don't call me
daddy!
You are not
my children.
You're nothing
but a couple
of mutant
swamp creatures
who do nothing
but remind me
of my life
of failure!
Just 'cause you're
having a bad day,
is it really necessary
to dump on everyone else?
Yes, we may be
failures,
but we're failures
who love you.
Out of my way,
you walking handbag!
(Ptoo)
Spot: UM, HELLO?
Who is that?
Heh.
Jeez, he looked
a lot shorter on tv.
Maybe it's the ax.
Allow me
to introduce myself.
I am
scott leadready ii,
your newest subject.
The one that's
finally going to work!
Dare you torment
an old man?
You cannot help me!
Aah!
You're nothing but
a worthless boy!
You're wrong, Dr. Krank.
I am a dog who wants
to be a worthless boy.
I mean, who wants
to be a boy.
(Panting)
Good lord,
I was totally fooled.
Don't worry.
Happens all the time.
Now, here's your problem
as I see it, doc.
While your theories
are scientifically sound
and your equipment
technically flawless,
you keep hitting
a failure point
when it comes
to the selection
of your
subjects.
See, you've been
experimenting
on swamp
creatures,
insects, and,
uh, reptiles.
And all-ee-gators!
All-ee-gators
are reptiles.
Proceed.
Mm-hmm. But
the fact is, Dr. Krank,
if you want
to make a man,
you've got to start
with a mammal!
Yes. Of course.
It's so simple,
and yet so utterly
brilliant!
Ha ha ha!
(Sighs)
I wish I had a nickel
for every time
I've heard that.
I shall give you
a nickel...
If you will be
my mammal.
I'll take it!
Then I shall
make you a boy.
Oh, boy!
Oh, no!
Spot, this is wrong.
This is going
against nature.
Nature? Feh!
I am a man
of science!
You're a wacko
of science!
Who do you think
you are?
I'll tell you
who I am.
Or, better yet,
I'll sing it!
Maestro,
a tango,
if you please.
(Tango Playing)
♪ I Was Born With A Brain ♪
♪ That Could Not
Be contained ♪
♪ So They Tortured
And teased me ♪
♪ And Called Me Insane ♪
♪ It Was Bad, Very Bad ♪
♪ Even Mom Called Me Mad ♪
♪ Any Child Would Go Wild
From the pain ♪
♪ Raised On Rage
And defiance ♪
♪ I Turned My Cerebrum
To science ♪
♪ I Tinkered And Toiled
Until my beakers all boiled ♪
♪ And I Built
This amazing appliance ♪
♪ Now The Whole World
Will see ♪
♪ The Genius In Me ♪
♪ While I Stand On
The shoulders of giants ♪
♪ Ha Ha Ha! ♪
♪ I Am I, Ivan Krank ♪
♪ Just A Man
Way ahead of his time ♪
♪ Allow Me To Be Frank ♪
♪ I'm Much Hipper Than
Old Dr. Frankenstein ♪
♪ I Am I, Ivan Krank ♪
♪ And You May Call Me
Wacko or weird ♪
♪ But You'll Have Me
To thank ♪
♪ When This Pup
That you've reared ♪
♪ Is No Longer Wet-nosed,
Waggy-tailed, or dog-eared ♪
♪ He'll Be Human,
Like you, man ♪
♪ The World
Will all cheer ♪
♪ For The Genius
That is I ♪
♪ Ivan Krank ♪
Let the neuro exchange
animal transformation
operation--
or NE.A.T.O.
For short--
not to be confused
with that stupid
teacher award--
begin!
(Rock Music playing)
(Power Starts)
No-o-o-o-o!
(Zap)
(Electricity Surging)
(Chimes)
Leonard:
Spot, this is wrong!
(Indistinct Echoing voices)
Leonard: YOU'RE
Supposed to be my dog.
Then I shall
make you a boy.
(Echoes)
(Heart Beating)
(Gasps)
Oh, it's alive.
It's alive!
That's a good start!
Dennis! Adele!
Remove the bandages,
and let us witness...
What I hath wrought!
(Gasps)
Mein gott in himmel.
Whoa.
Daddy did it!
Spot: I GOTTA SEE!
I'm a boy! I'm a boy!
I'm a really big boy.
You're not
a boy, scott.
You're a man.
I'm a man?
I don't understand.
How could I be
a man?
Great ba*ls
of kibble!
I forgot
all about dog time!
That's right!
One human year
equals seven dog years.
That would make you...
Don't do the math.
(Grunting)
Uh, it's not exactly
what I had planned,
but I'm human,
and that's nothing
to shake your tail at.
How can I thank you?
Oh, it will be
thanks enough
that you spend
the rest of your life
traveling around
the world with me
as living proof
of my genius!
Ah. Well, uh, gee,
fun as that sounds
for me,
I'm afraid
I'm gonna have to pass.
I can't spend the rest
of my life with you.
I--i--i live
with this guy...
At his house, in his room.
I sleep on the bottom bunk.
Heh. Although, now that
I'm a big, grown man
with knuckle hair and--
uhh--lower back pain,
that may present
a slight problem.
But we'll cross that bridge
when we come to it.
Let's go, leonard!
No!
Aah!
(Clanging)
You're not
going anywhere,
my precious man.
I made you, I own you.
You're mine!
Come, dennis, adele!
We must begin
making plans
for the ivan krank
world vindication tour!
First
the united nations,
then my high school
reunion.
(Music Playing)
No, wait!
(Struggling)
Nuts!
Over here!
(Struggling)
Get down!
(Whirs)
(Both Gasp)
Boy: HI, UNCLE IVAN!
The bus from
east westland
was a little late,
but here I am!
Ian?
(Gasps)
Leonard?
What are you doing
in my uncle's
laboratory?
And who are you,
Mister,
and why are you
all dressed up
like
scott leadready ii?
Uh, no time to explain,
strange little boy
I've never met after
in my life.
Ian, can you help us
get out of here?
What'll you give me
if I do?
Um, all I've got
is this, uh,
slimy old dog chew toy
and a shiny new nickel.
Mm-hmm. Ohh...
Holding out on me,
huh?
Hey, give me
that chew toy!
(Growls And laughs)
Ok, let's see now.
Decode secret password,
override security check,
bypass concealed
alarm cookie,
and...bingo!
(Doors Clang open)
Wow!
How did you
do that?
Oh, come on.
This was easy.
Reprogramming
the queen's toilets
for a 21-flush salute--
now, that was hard.
(Squeak)
Thanks, ian.
Thank you,
stranger.
You're welcome,
stranger.
Well, as long
as I'm here...
Hee hee hee.
Ooh, they'll love this.
(Rule Britannia playing)
Ohh! What's
all this, then?
Ohh!
Ohh!
Oh, blast that blasted
waszelewski kid!
(Both Panting)
Quick, hop in!
Boo-yah!
Uhh!
Hmm. I must work out.
Come on, scott!
Scott!
Hey, wait for me!
Old habits die hard.
Dr. Krank:
They've escaped!
Dennis, adele,
find them!
You betcha!
Right away, daddy.
Hmm. Nothing here.
Hmm.
Not in here,
you fools.
Out there!
(Buzz)
Hurry!
Yes, sir, daddy.
Uhh!
And don't call me daddy!
How could a man
as brilliant as I
have created something
as stupid as them?
I can't believe they let
my dog-man escape!
Oh, don't blame
them, uncle ivan.
I let 'em go.
Ah! Ian!
Ahh! Ian,
my darling nephew,
the only one who ever
truly believed in me.
Welcome to my home!
However, now that
you've ruined everything,
I must ground you for
the rest of the summer.
So go to your room.
Don't come out till labor day!
Yes, uncle ivan.
Grounded again.
Jeez, I could've saved
a bus ride.
What was I so afraid of
all these years?
The outside
is very nice.
Pleasant, even.
One might go so far
as to say
invig-amarating.
Told ya.
But we're not going
very fast.
How long will it take us
to get to spot?
Oh, we should
start making
some real progress
any second now.
Bo-o-o-oard!
(Chugging)
Aaaaah!
Man, I'm gettin'
hungry.
Yeah, me, too.
And if these pants
ride up any more,
I'm gonna be
a soprano.
I gotta get me
some new clothes.
(Both Sigh)
We need to get us
some money.
Yeah, but how?
Whoa!
What?
(Both Reading)
That'll do.
That'll do.
Come on, let's go
find that dog
and get us some money!
How?
The twilight bark.
The what?
Uhh!
Oh, we gotta start
renting you
some more classic
animated movies.
Leonard,
the twilight bark
is that free
worldwide
long-distance
server,
through which dogs
all over the world
have been communicating
since the dawn of time.
(Dogs Howling)
Now, let's just hope
I still got enough dog
left in me.
(Clears Throat)
Awooooo!
Man in distance:
Shut that dog up!
Hmm. I guess
it didn't work.
Oh, no,
my human-eared friend?
(Dogs Barking)
Yes! Thank you!
I mean...awoooo!
Come on, let's go.
Thank you! Awooo!
Thank you!
Awoooo!
Jeez, this could
go on all day.
(Doorbell Rings)
Lady!
Turns out she wasn't
really lost.
She was just, heh,
kinda busy.
Girl: OH, PUPPIES!
Dad: MY!
How can we
thank you?
Gee, I can think
of a hundred ways.
Oh, uh, I can't
give you $100.
But--
that's ok, leonard.
A good deed
is its own reward.
(Dad Laughs)
You brought back dogs!
So I'm giving you $500!
(Gasps)
All right!
I knew you weren't
a big, fat cheapskate!
I'm sorry.
Was that out loud?
We're rich!
We're rich!
We're rich!
We're rich!
Come on, bunky.
Let's go eat
and buy pants
and do all the stuff
you can only do
when you're
all grown up
and got $500
to burn!
♪ Though Money May Be ♪
♪ The Root Of All Evil ♪
♪ Money, It Might Not
Buy you love ♪
♪ Money Won't Bring You
Happiness ♪
♪ Or Grow New Hair
Or cure your stress ♪
♪ Or Get You To
The pearly gates above ♪
♪ But There's A Bunch
Of Things
That money can do ♪
♪ Put A Shirt On Your Back
And a shine on your shoe ♪
♪ When The Cash Shows Up,
I don't say "boo" ♪
♪ I Take The Money
And run ♪
♪ 'Cause Love Can't Buy
A fancy car ♪
♪ Or Fill Your Tank ♪
♪ If You Want
The finer things ♪
♪ You Better
Break the bank ♪
♪ 'Cause If There's One
Sure thing that money can do ♪
♪ Put The Pedal To The Metal
When the rent comes due ♪
♪ When The Money Shows Up,
Baby, don't say "boo" ♪
♪ Just Take The Money
And run, oh, yeah ♪
♪ Take The Money And Run ♪
♪ Go, Man, Get Your Stash,
Grab your cash ♪
♪ Take The Money And Run ♪
(Chickens Clucking)
Ian: MOM, DAD,
I am a prisoner
in this chamber
of horrors!
The whole place is filled
with evil smells
and moans
and ghastly shrieks!
There's lightning
and thunder
and scary bumps
in the night!
Come home? No way!
I love it here!
Ha ha ha ha ha!
Dr. Krank: IAN?
How many times
must I tell you
to stay off the phone?
I want to call out
for a pizza.
Dennis: EXTRA ANCHOVIES
On mine, please!
Dennis! Adele!
You're back!
Where is
my dog-man?
after we answer,
could we have
our pizza, daddy?
Go!
Aah!
And don't return
without him!
And don't
call me...
Daddy! (Echoes)
Uhh!
Uhh!
I betcha
that little boy
would've given
his dog some pizza.
Thank god the other
mosquitoes in the swamp
can't see me now.
They all laughed at me,
but did I listen?
No, I was going to be
the world's first
insect-to-human
transformation.
Hmm! And look at me now.
Stuck in the middle--
neither fish nor fowl.
You're also
not a goat. Or a pig.
Or a bucket of marbles.
Whoa--
ohh, please,
just squish me now.
(Upbeat Music playing)
♪ Hot Diggity Dog ♪
So far this has been
the greatest day
of my life!
And I've only been a man
for, what, like, 5 hours?
5 hours?
sh**t, we promised mom
we'd be home by 6:00.
Whoa! Was that
just this morning?
Whew!
Time sure flies
when you're
changing species.
What time you got?
Uh, a minute
till 6:00.
Let's go!
Wait! We forgot one
really important thing!
What?!
Who are you, sir?
That.
Oh, yeah.
Well, I'll tell ya.
I'm, uh...
Well, you certainly
look familiar.
Wait a ding-dang-
doodle-doo minute.
You're not one of
my fellow finalists
in the teacher of the year
competition, are you?
Uh, why, yes.
Yes I am.
(Deep Voice)
Uh, I am a teacher.
And a darn good one, too,
who appreciates a fellow
darn good teacher enough
to come all the way
down here
to this lovely
wentawaygo park to say,
"may the best
darn good teacher win."
Well, isn't that
kind of you?
Honey,
where's scott?
Uh...
And, uh...
That's the other reason
I came.
Uh, to tell you
that, uh...
Scott's family called,
and he had to go home
after all,
and he needed
a grownup to help,
and I obviously
am a grown-up...
Human man person.
Ahh! Obviously.
Ah ha ha! You know
scott leadready ii?
Do I know
scott leadready ii?
Only better
than I know myself, ma'am.
You're
pushing it.
Well, any friend
of the leadreadys
is a friend of mine.
I'm mary lou.
And I'm scott.
Just like
scott leadready.
Oh, uh, right. Heh.
Common name.
Lots of scotts.
Scotts r us. Heh heh.
But I'm scott, uh...
Manly!
Manning!
It's a hyphenate.
Scott manly-manning.
Well,
Mr. Manly-manning,
it's a pleasure
to meet you.
Yeah, sorry you gotta
leave so soon.
Great gettin' to know you.
Just a little,
but not too much.
Bye.
Leonard! Where did you
park your manners?
Ha ha ha.
After all the trouble
Mr. Manly-manning
has gone to,
the least we can do
is invite him in
for a cup of coffee.
Coffee?
I've always wanted
to try coffee.
Boy, it's true what they say!
What a beverage!
Who'd believe that little
brown bean from brazil
could pack such mellow,
rich-roasting,
good-to-the-last-drop flavor?
By the way,
were you aware that
IT WAS OUR 26th PRESIDENT--
theodore "teddy" roosevelt--
who originally coined
the phrase
"good to the last drop"?
Little-known fact, but true.
Yes, I think
one of my students
mentioned that once.
I can't remember which one.
You can't remember
which one?
For cryin' out loud,
it's obviously--
time for you to go now.
What a shame.
Thanks for stopping by.
See you later.
Hey! What's
the hurry, junior?
I'm still on
my first cup of joe.
If you don't get
outta here,
you're gonna blow it.
You're gonna say something
or do something
or drink something
and just blow it!
Well, see ya!
Mary Lou:
Leonard amadeus helperman,
we don't just put our guests
out the door
like the evening trash.
Ohh, now, now,
mary lou.
Don't be upset
with leonard.
He's just a boy.
Oh, come off it!
Mister, you are
out of control!
Now, you go
straight to your...
Curtained-off section
of the wentawaygo
until you're ready to rejoin
polite society for dinner!
Ha ha.
Speaking of dinner,
are you hungry?
Hey! I'm always hungry.
I'm a dog...gone
hungry guy.
You are so
gonna blow it.
(Music Playing)
(Chomping)
Ahh! I couldn't eat
another bite.
Care for a chocolat?
Ohh. Chocolate
is poison for dogs.
I know. Aren't we lucky
we're human?
Yes, we are!
(Gulping)
(Belches)
Oh, I'm sorry.
Did you want one?
♪ Someone Has
A sweet tooth ♪
Ahh, what can I say?
There's something about
eating under the stars
at a table,
sitting in a chair,
using a fork,
that just makes everything
taste so good.
Well, to me,
it's not the food,
it's the company.
Heh heh heh.
I don't know why,
but it's as if
I've known you for
a very long time.
You're just so
comfy to be with,
like an old shoe.
Oh, I mean that
in a good way.
Hey, nothin' I love more
than an old shoe.
Woof!
Uh, to wear, I mean.
Ah ha ha ha ha!
You say the most
unusual things.
But I like it.
Golly gosh,
I wish there was
someone like you
back home.
You do?
Hold that thought.
I'll be right back.
Well...
He did drink
a lot of coffee.
Big Scott: LEONARD!
You are gonna be
so proud of me!
We can stop worrying
how I'm gonna live
and where
I'm gonna sleep
and how we're gonna
stay together.
I've stumbled upon
the answer,
and it doesn't
even matter
that I'm
a hairy-knuckled grownup
with back pain.
(Crack)
Ooch!
In fact, it works
to our advantage!
You're kidding!
Of course,
I won't be sleeping
at the bottom bunk
anymore,
but I promise
I'll tuck you in
and tell you
a bedtime story
after I settle in
to watch the 9:00
news with...
Mary lou.
Who?
You know. Your mom.
Oh, he cleaned his plate
so well.
(Gasps) I can see myself!
(Laughs)
I know who
mary lou is,
but why would you be
watching the news with her?
And why is she dancing around
with your dinner plate?
Unless...
(Electric Guitar playing
the wedding march)
(Pants And barks)
Oh, no!
Oh, yes!
Isn't it perfect?
She likes me,
I've always
loved her.
You and I still
get to be together.
Climb up on my lap,
sonny boy,
and call me daddy!
Are you crazy?
You can't be my dad!
You're my dog!
Hey, people change.
Come on,
it'll be great.
I'll teach you
how to shave,
take you fishing,
holler at your
little league coach
when he doesn't
play you enough.
Maybe I'll even get ya
a little puppy.
Mister, you are
out of control.
What? You gonna
send me to my room?
I think that's
my job, son.
No! No, this is
not ok with me.
You have to stop
liking my mom right now!
Oh, in all
fairness, son,
I believe mary lou
should have
something to say
about this.
And stop calling her
mary lou!
And stop calling me son!
I command you,
as your master!
Former master,
leonard!
I'm not your dog
anymore!
Well, I sure as heck
am not your kid!
So maybe you'd just
better leave me
and my mom alone!
You...want me to go?
But...what about us?
You and me?
A friend
needs a friend.
That was
a different us.
Yeah.
I guess it was.
Wait a minute.
Yeah?
I paid for that collar
and dog tag
with my own allowance.
But...
You don't need 'em.
You said it yourself.
You're not my dog
anymore.
(Gulp)
(Somber Music playing)
(Upbeat Music playing)
♪ Mrs. Manly-manning ♪
♪ Mrs. Mary Lou
Manly-manning ♪
♪ Mrs. Mary Lou
Moira angela darling ♪
♪ Helperman Manly-manning ♪
Big Scott: I'M SORRY
I have to interrupt
this musical moment,
mary lou.
I guess I'll never
see you again.
♪ It's Time For Me
To go ♪
♪ Oh, Me, Oh, My,
Oh, no ♪
♪ I've Never Been
So low ♪
♪ Oh, Where Did
My dog-man-- ♪
♪ Go! ♪
♪ I Gotta Go,
I don't know where ♪
♪ I Only Know ♪
♪ My Former Friend
Is now my foe ♪
♪ He Couldn't Stand
The status quo ♪
♪ I Said I'd Stay,
But he said no ♪
♪ And Now, Doggone,
This dog is gone ♪
♪ I'm Movin' On ♪
♪ I Gotta Go! ♪
♪ Like A Dream ♪
♪ He Was Here,
And now he's gone ♪
♪ He Drank My Coffee,
Ate my candy ♪
♪ Dreaming I Could Stand
By my manly-manning man ♪
♪ I Thought Everything
Was fine and dandy ♪
♪ Why Did He Go? ♪
♪ I'm Gone ♪
♪ Don't Go ♪
♪ Oh, No,
What have I done? ♪
♪ Oh, No ♪
♪ I Kicked Him Out ♪
♪ He Took The Keys
To freedom ♪
Both: ♪ NOW HE'S GOING,
Now he's going ♪
♪ Now He's Gone ♪
♪ My Lovely Dog-man ♪
♪ Oh, Precious,
Pretty dog-man ♪
♪ Dear Itty-bitty Dog
I made a man ♪
♪ Where Have You Gone? ♪
♪ He Took The Keys ♪
♪ You Held The Key
To my success ♪
♪ I'm No One's
Pawn ♪
♪ He's Gone ♪
♪ Was I A Yawn? ♪
♪ I'm Moving On ♪
♪ Find Him! ♪
All: ♪ WHERE DID YOU GO,
Dog-man? ♪
♪ We Gotta Go Where
You have gone, spot ♪
♪ We Gotta Know, Dog-man ♪
♪ We Wanna Know Where
You have gone, scott ♪
♪ We Gotta Go There, Too ♪
♪ I'm Gone ♪
♪ He's Going, Going ♪
♪ I'm Moving On ♪
♪ Here Comes The Sun ♪
♪ Come On, Let's Run ♪
♪ You Weigh A Ton ♪
Scott: ♪ PARDON THE PUN,
But I am going ♪
♪ Without Knowing ♪
♪ There's A Place
Where I belong ♪
♪ Where He's Gone ♪
♪ I'm Movin' On ♪
All: ♪ WHERE DID YOU GO,
Dog-man? ♪
♪ Where Did You Go,
Dog-man? ♪
♪ Where Did You Go,
Dog-man? ♪
♪ He's Gone ♪
Well,
that was strange.
(Ride Of the valkyries
playing)
(Both Scream)
Aaah!
Whoa--
(Grunting)
Aaaah!
Aaaah!
Ohh!
Ohh!
Pretty Boy:
We made it.
We made it!
Florida at last!
I told you we were
small but mighty!
Man: HEH HEH HEH.
(Speaking Spanish)
Missed it
by that much.
Boy: SPOT,
Come here, boy!
Leonard?
(Barking)
(Laughing)
(Sighs)
(Thunder)
Aww...
Now, remember,
lenny-benny-beanbag,
you're to meet me
at the awards ceremony
at 6:00 sharp,
you got it?
Whatever.
Aww,
honey-bunny-boombox,
I know you Miss your dog
and your best friend,
but we're going home
tomorrow,
and spot and scott'll be
there waitin' for you,
and everything's gonna
be peachy-pie normal
and just the way
it was. Mwah!
Right.
Just the way it was.
(Beeping)
(Clang)
(Both Grunt)
Florida, schmorida!
It's just jersey
with palm trees!
Well, I suppose
most people
don't arrive
by garbage truck.
On a more positive note,
I don't think there's
anything in the world
I'll ever fear
after this.
(Shrieks)
It's a monster!
(Stammers)
Hey!
It's just
your reflection.
Oh. Aah!
It's me!
I look hideous!
(Slurps)
No argument there.
I'm goin' up for
a bird's-eye view.
(Music Playing)
Dog-man!
Where are you?
(Applause)
(Whoosh)
My, oh, me,
it's
a rain-a-roony-doodle day!
Whoo-hoo!
Bada-bing, baby!
(Slurping)
Come on, hairball!
(Whimpers)
Great. Now you're
out there somewhere
in the stupid rain
'cause you just couldn't
leave well enough alone,
could you?
No, you had to go
mess up a great thing
just to make
your stupid dream come true.
Bet you come crawling back
any minute now,
cold and wet
and tired and hungry
and sick of being a man
and wishing you could be
my dog again.
Well, forget it!
I'm not taking you back.
(Knock On door)
(Gasps) Spot!
Ha ha!
Oh, it's you.
"Oh, it's you"?
We traveled
2,000 miles,
and all we get is,
"oh, it's you"?!
Come on, jolly,
let's go home!
What?!
No, you guys.
I'm sorry.
I'm really, really
glad you're here.
I've never needed
anyone more.
Now, that's
a greeting.
Something's happened
to spot.
Sit down.
It's a long story.
(Blues Playing)
So this is what it's like
to be human, huh?
Sittin' alone in a dump
on your tailless butt,
just twiddlin'
your opposable thumbs.
Top of the world, ma!
(Sighs)
(Cries)
Top of the world.
(Harmonica Playing)
What's that?
Sounds like
that stupid song
leonard always
used to sing.
Oh, it is
that stupid...
(Sobbing)
Beautiful song!
Oh, leonard.
♪ I Know
It's been said ♪
♪ Everyone
Needs someone ♪
♪ A Loyal
Companion ♪
♪ To Share In Life's Fun ♪
♪ For A Day At The Park ♪
♪ Or A Game Of Leapfrog ♪
♪ A Friend Needs A Friend ♪
♪ A Boy Needs
A dog ♪
(Laughs)
(Music Playing)
♪ A Small Hand
To shake ♪
♪ Wanna Run A Race? ♪
♪ For A Bowl
Full of grub ♪
♪ What A Funny Face ♪
♪ A Face To Be Licked ♪
♪ When A Tummy
Gets rubbed ♪
♪ Like A Mom And A Dad ♪
♪ Need Their
Bundle of joy ♪
Both: ♪ A FRIEND
Needs a friend ♪
♪ A Dog Needs A Boy ♪
Pretty Boy, sobbing:
A classic!
Even a bird
and a c*ck cat
can see that!
(Sobbing) Yeah.
Why couldn't spot?
I don't know.
I guess we all have
different dreams, right?
Yeah.
Yeah.
And I guess...
If you really
love someone,
like I love spot,
you gotta let him
have his dream, right?
Even if it's different
from your dream, right?
Yeah.
Yeah.
I know what
I've gotta do!
There's only one way
for us to be together again.
I've gotta go
to Dr. Krank
and have him change me
into a dog!
Yeah!
Yeah!
What?!
What?!
See ya, guys!
I mean, woof!
(Snaps)
No! Wait!
No! Wait!
(Grunts)
Ow!
♪ I Can't Go On ♪
♪ With Just
Half of my heart ♪
♪ Nothing And No One ♪
♪ Can Keep Us Apart ♪
Both: ♪ IT'S
A permanent bond ♪
♪ We Can Never Destroy ♪
Big Scott: ♪ A FRIEND
Needs a friend ♪
Leonard: ♪ A FRIEND
Needs a friend ♪
♪ I've Got ♪
♪ A Boy ♪
♪ Needs A Dog ♪
♪ To Get Back ♪
♪ Needs A ♪
♪ To My ♪
♪ Dog ♪
♪ Boy ♪
Bunky, I'm back!
Pretty boy? Jolly?
What are you doing here?
Who is that strange man,
and why is he talking to us?
I don't know.
Just act dumb.
Uh, tweet.
Uhh!
Meow, meow, meow.
Guys, it's me.
It's spot.
Aah!
Oh, my. This is what
you look like as a man?
Why? Is something
wrong with it?
No, no. It was just
a shock at first.
You could use a shave.
Really? I thought
it was kind of edgy.
But forget that.
Where's leonard?
Oh, spot,
it's terrible.
He just ran out
babbling some nonsense
about if
you can't be his dog,
then he'll have to get
that Dr. Krank
to turn him
into your dog.
That crazy kid.
Although I guess
it could work.
No! No!
What am I saying?
I've got to save
my boy!
(Dr. Krank
muttering)
(Chuckles)
This is perfect--
perfect.
Why, my plan could not
have gone any better...
If I'd had a plan!
And now I do!
I'll turn the boy
into a dog,
use him as bait
to lure the dog man,
and then I'll have
the man and the dog!
Ah ha! Mommy!
Nothing wacko
about that!
(Laughing)
Oh, isn't there,
Dr. Wacko?
Ah. You're
right on cue.
(Growls)
Ohh.
You really should've
seen that coming.
Ohh!
I'm sorry, scott.
I just wanted us
to be together again.
I did it for us.
No. I'm the sorry one,
leonard.
It's all my fault.
I shouldn't have
messed with nature.
Oh, haven't you heard?
My good man,
nature is dead.
Science is king!
Oh, that is just wrong
on so many levels.
Well, then riddle me
this, Dr. Krank.
Is it science
or nature
that makes you
have to laugh
when someone tickles you
under the armpits?
Pretty boy, jolly.
(Laughing)
Stop it, you guys!
You keep him busy.
I'll take care of krank.
You're too late.
No!
(Zap)
Whoa! Whoa!
Aah!
Oh, my goodness.
What?
What is it?
Do I got spinach
in my teeth?
Big Scott: STOP! WAIT!
Oh! Aah!
Aah!
You are one
butt-ugly man.
Well, I've been under
a little stress lately.
Whoa!
Hey!
Hey! Whoa!
What's happened?
Uh-oh.
Oh, darn.
Wait a minute.
I've still got this.
Thank you, Dr. Krank!
No, no, you fool!
Quarters only!
A nickel will jam it!
You'll blow us all up!
That's a chance
I'll have to take.
(Dramatic Music playing)
Say auf wiedersehen...
Aah!
Wacko.
(Zapping)
Aah!
(Squeaks, Grunts)
Uhh!
Cool.
No! No! Help!
(Yowls)
Uhh!
Oh, well. To quote
the immortal bard,
which I don't believe
I've yet done
in this entire
adventure,
"all's well
that end's well."
Leonard: SCOTT!
Look out!
(Cracks, Fizzles)
Quick! We got to get out
after it blows!
You go. There's one more
thing I've got to do.
It's my only chance.
Scott,
what are you doing?
(Zap)
(Whoosh)
(Beeping)
(Electricity Crackling)
(Boom)
Scott! Scott!
(Choral Music playing)
Oh, scott.
Stupid machine!
Stupid, stupid science!
(Zap)
(Dramatic Music playing)
Wake up,
dear blue spot.
Wake up.
Spot: OH, IS THAT YOU,
Dear blue fairy?
How many times I got
to tell you, dog breath?
I ain't no fairy!
Spot? Is it really you?
In the fur.
Oh, spot, you're back!
I had to come back,
bunky.
I love ya, and
I want to be with ya.
Don't you remember?
Cue the violins.
♪ A Friend
Needs a friend ♪
♪ A Friend
Needs a friend ♪
Everybody sing!
♪ A Boy Needs A... ♪
♪ Back On The South End
Of the leash ♪
♪ Is Where My Place Is ♪
♪ Chasing Cars
And licking faces ♪
♪ A Simple Mutt
Livin' a dog's life ♪
♪ Now I'm In The Thrall
Of nature's call ♪
♪ It's My Destiny To Be
Man's best friend ♪
♪ And To Bite
Your own rear end ♪
♪ And So It's Buh-bye To
Species second guessing ♪
♪ This Rover's
Learned his lesson ♪
♪ I'm Proud To Be A Dog ♪
♪ The Breed Of Fido
Can't be denied-o ♪
♪ Glad To Be A Dog ♪
♪ And Dog Enough
To beg ♪
♪ A Dog You Must Be ♪
♪ I'll Be Spot-on ♪
♪ Because At Last I See ♪
Shh!
♪ That A Tree
Needs a mom ♪
Leonard:
♪ And A Sow Needs A Hog ♪
♪ Just Like London
Needs fog ♪
♪ Or A Princess A Frog ♪
♪ Well, A Friend
Needs a friend ♪
Both:
♪ A Road Needs A Bend ♪
♪ A Film Needs An End ♪
♪ A Boy Needs A Dog ♪
♪ Needs A Boy,
Needs a dog ♪
♪ Needs A Boy, Needs A Dog,
Needs a boy, needs a dog ♪
♪ Boy, Dog, Boy, Dog, Boy,
Dog, boy, dog, boy ♪
♪ Dog ♪
Woof!
(Pop Music playing)
♪ Hey! ♪
(Singer Laughs)
♪ Teacher's Pet ♪
♪ I Wanna Be
Teacher's pet ♪
♪ I Wanna Be Huddled
And cuddled ♪
♪ As Close To You
As I can get ♪
♪ Mm-hmm, Teacher's Pride ♪
♪ I Wanna Be
Teacher's pride ♪
♪ I Wanna Be Dated,
Paraded ♪
♪ The One Most Likely
At your side ♪
♪ I'm Burning
To learn ♪
♪ I Wanna Learn All
Your lips can teach me ♪
♪ One Kiss
Will do at the start ♪
♪ I'm Sure
With a little homework ♪
♪ I'll Graduate
To Your Heart ♪
♪ I'll Graduate
To your heart ♪
♪ Teacher's Pet ♪
♪ I Wanna Be Teacher's Pet ♪
♪ Teacher ♪
♪ I Wanna Take
Home A Diploma ♪
♪ And Show Ma
That you love her, too ♪
♪ I Hope
You love me, too ♪
♪ So I Can Be
Teacher's pet ♪
♪ Long After School
Is through ♪
♪ Ah Ah Ah ♪
♪ I Wanna Be,
I gotta be ♪
♪ I Wanna,
I gotta ♪
♪ I Wanna Learn
All your lips can teach me ♪
♪ One Kiss Will Do
At the start ♪
♪ I'm Sure
With a little homework ♪
♪ I'll Graduate
To your heart ♪
♪ I'll Graduate
To your heart ♪
♪ To Your Heart ♪
♪ I'll Graduate
To your heart ♪
♪ I Wanna Be ♪
♪ I've Got To Be ♪
♪ Teacher's Pet,
Teacher ♪
♪ I Wanna Be ♪
♪ T-t-t-teacher's Pet,
Teacher ♪
♪ I've Got To Be,
I want it ♪
♪ I Want It, I Want It,
I want it ♪
♪ I Wanna Be
T-t-t-teacher's pet ♪
♪ I've Got To Be
Teacher's pet ♪
♪ I Wanna Be
Teacher's pet ♪
♪ I Wanna Take Home
A diploma ♪
♪ And Show Ma
That you love me, too ♪
♪ Yeah, So I Can Be
Teacher's pet ♪
♪ Teacher ♪
♪ I Wanna Be
Teacher's pet ♪
♪ I Wanna Be
Teacher's pet ♪
♪ Long After School
Is through ♪
♪ I Wanna, I Gotta ♪
♪ Teacher's Pet ♪
♪ I Wanna Be,
I gotta be ♪
♪ Teacher's Pet ♪
♪ I Wanna, I Gotta ♪
♪ Teacher's Pet ♪
♪ I Gotta, Gotta, Gotta, Gotta
Be teacher's pet ♪
♪ I've Got To Be
Teacher's pet ♪
♪ I Wanna, Wanna Be
Teacher's pet ♪
♪ Long After School ♪
♪ Is Through ♪
♪ Yeah ♪
(Latin Music playing)
(Singer Shouts)
(People Cheering)
(People Cheering)
(People Clapping
in rhythm)
♪ Mambo ♪
(Chorus Singing in spanish)
♪ La La La, La La ♪
(Chorus Singing in spanish)
♪ La La La La La ♪
♪ La La La La La ♪
♪ La La La La La ♪
♪ La La La La La-la ♪
(Singer Shouts)
(Singer Speaking spanish)
♪ Mambo ♪
(Chorus Singing in spanish)
♪ La La La, La La ♪
♪ Mambo ♪
(Swing Music playing)
Men:
♪ Hot Diggity Dog ♪
Women:
♪ Ooh Ooh Ooh ♪
♪ Yeah, Yeah ♪
♪ Yeah, Yeah ♪
♪ Ooh, Dig That Dog ♪
♪ Hot Diggity Dog ♪
♪ Bow Wow Wow ♪
♪ Bow Wow ♪
♪ Wow Wow ♪
♪ Ooh, Dig That Dog ♪
♪ Dog, Boy, Dog, Boy,
Doggy, boy, dog ♪
♪ Boy, Dog, Boy, Dog,
Boy, doggy, boy ♪
♪ Boy, Dog, Boy, Dog,
Here, doggy, boy ♪
♪ Dog, Boy, Doggy, Boy,
Diggity-dog, boy ♪
♪ Dog, Boy ♪
♪ Boy, Dog ♪
♪ Boy, Dog ♪
♪ Dog, Boy ♪
Both: ♪ HOT, HOT,
Hot diggity dog ♪
(Woman Scats)
♪ Yeah, Hot Diggity Dog ♪
(Continues Scatting)
♪ Ooh, Dig That Dog ♪
All:
♪ Hot Diggity Dog ♪
(Swing Music playing)
♪ Though Money May Be ♪
♪ The Root Of All Evil ♪
♪ Money,
It might not buy you love ♪
♪ Money Won't Bring You
Happiness ♪
♪ Or Grow New Hair
Or cure your stress ♪
♪ Won't Get You
To the pearly gates above ♪
♪ But There's A Bunch
Of Things That money can do ♪
♪ Put A Shirt On Your Back
And a shine on your shoe ♪
♪ When The Cash Shows Up,
I don't say "boo" ♪
♪ I Take The Money
And run ♪
♪ 'Cause Love
Can't buy a fancy car ♪
♪ Or Fill Your Tank ♪
♪ If You Want
The finer things ♪
♪ You'd Better
Break the bank ♪
♪ 'Cause If There's One Sure
Thing that money can do ♪
♪ Put The Pedal To The Metal
When the rent comes due ♪
♪ When The Money Shows Up,
Baby, don't say "boo" ♪
♪ Just Take The Money
And run ♪
♪ Oh, Yeah,
Take the money and run ♪
♪ Go, Man, Grab Your Stash,
Get your cash ♪
♪ We're Gonna Have A Bash ♪
♪ Take The Money And Run ♪
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Teacher's Pet (2004)
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