Oh, honey, if that's
the last of the juice,
would you make sure
to rinse out the bottle,
take off the label and put that
in with the paper recycling,
put the bottle in with the glass,
put the cap in with the cans?
Oh, and if you notice the bins are full,
would you take them out to the curb?
(EXCLAIMS)
Oh, baby!
Yeah, uh-huh, right.
That's four people Friday night, : .
Right. Oh, oh! And it's for my
brother Andy's birthday, so...
He already made
the reservation?
Oh, okay. Well, you know what,
I'm gonna bring a cake, so...
He already dropped off a cake?
He's there right now?
Well, would you
please tell him to...
That's it, that's it.
Give me, give me,
give me the phone.
Give me the phone. Okay.
Andy, you are sucking out all the fun
of planning this birthday for you.
Your sister really
wants to do it, okay?
Andy, there's only four of us.
I don't care who you sit me next to.
Hey! What's this?
Oh, Andy wanted all of
us to have directions
to the Olive Garden
for his birthday.
There's also alternate routes
in case there's traffic.
When he was growing up with you guys, was
he always insane about his birthdays?
Worse.
You should have seen him interviewing
ponies when he turned six.
So, Jim. I have a question
for you and I want you to
wait and listen with an open
mind before you respond.
No, no. No, I don't do that
open mind thing very well.
Last time I did that, I ended
up at Doug and Eric's wedding.
Jim, we're just trying
to offer you a job.
Yeah! I'd like to hire you
to remodel my office.
I know it's your slow season,
so, I thought I'd throw
some work your way.
That's really nice, Dana.
Mmm-hmm.
Uh, you know what, I just have a strict
policy that I don't work with family.
What about Andy?
He works for you.
That's the reason
I have a strict policy.
Oh!
(PHONE RINGING)
Hello?
Andy.
No. No.
No!
What?
He wants us all to wear
those tuxedo T-shirts.
(INAUDIBLE)
No!
Okay. When we knock
this wall down,
what kind of electrical problems
are we going to run into?
Huh?
Huh.
What?
Andy.
Stay with me.
Whoa! Whoa!
One second.
And, now!
Exactly years ago this
minute, I came into the world.
(LAUGHING)
Daddy finally got his boy.
(LAUGHING)
Hope I did you proud, Pop.
Oh, for crying out loud!
You've been talking to your dad all day.
Will you knock it off?
Oh, excuse me!
But, the whole year
belongs to Jim.
Jim, Jim, Jim, Jim, Jim.
Well, this one day
belongs to Andy.
Oh, along with Voltaire
and Petty Marshall.
All right. Fine.
Help me with these plans here.
Ooh! Ooh! I can't.
I need to get to the mall.
I have a semi-nude birthday
portrait I need to sit for.
Will you stay off
the pony this year?
Hey, hey! Will you keep it down?
This is a place of business.
And, by the way, while you're here,
I'm not your little sister-in-law.
I'm the tough-as-nails, but surprisingly
beautiful, rising executive.
Yeah. I read the mug.
Dana!
Yes, Mr. Bingham.
I read your ideas for the
Christy Donuts account.
Clearly, you've done a lot
of work on this. Oh, thanks.
Unfortunately, none
of it's any good.
What? None of it?
Well, the staple was pretty much
where I thought it would be.
I got a lot of great
feedback from the team.
Oh! So, you think
this is good.
Well, kind of. Yeah.
Uh-huh and I think
it's crap.
So, tell me. Who's opinion do
you think we should go with?
Yours.
Exactly.
Excuse me.
Uh, that's okay.
Worker.
I'll be with you in a minute.
Look, why don't you let me
have another pass at it?
Forget about it.
I'm gonna give it to Nickman.
Nickman?
The bagel cart guy?
Well, frankly, I have more
confidence in him than you.
Now, either come up with
something I can use
or you're gonna find you're remodeling
this office for someone else.
Got it?
Good.
Whoa!
What was that about?
Dana? Dana,
are you all right?
(SIGHS) Yeah, I'm fine.
(STUTTERS) Why didn't you
say something to the guy?
Look, he's new here.
We just...
We got off on the wrong foot and
we're trying to work things out.
No! No, no, no!
This guy just reamed you out.
I mean, you can't let people
talk to you like that, Dana!
Jim, will you just let it go?
Okay?
Dana?
I have.
Uh, Dana?
What, Jim?
This bagel cart guy.
Does he have sandwiches, too?
(EXCLAIMING)
(KNOCKING ON DOOR)
Hey, you got a second?
Look, I don't know anything
about the remodeling stuff.
Oh! No, no, no, no.
It's not about that.
I was just in the other office
and I heard you
talking to that lady,
and frankly, the way you
spoke to her was really
inappropriate.
Really?
Yes.
Now, I know she can be
a pain in the ass,
and she's always in your face,
(CHUCKLES) you know,
she never shuts up.
Even though I never met
her before this morning.
But, that's no way
to talk to a lady.
That's great.
Why don't you write that suggestion
on the wall, then paint over it.
(STUTTERING)
You see, now that's...
(CHUCKLING) You're
doing it again
and it's really pissing me off.
Excuse me.
Jody, do I have an : a.
m. with a jackass?
Okay. Here's why you're not
eating that intercom right now.
Because I want you to understand
what I'm about to say.
Don't you ever talk to that
woman like that again.
Now, you're pushing her around
because you're afraid that
she's gonna have your job one day.
And you know what?
She will.
You got it?
Good.
Now.
Tell me about this bagel cart guy
I've been hearing so much about.
Toss this.
Ugh! Toss this.
Hey, here's the remote.
Mommy, is Mrs. Bishop
babysitting us tonight?
Uh-huh.
She's old.
And she makes us
hold her teeth.
Well, that's because
she trusts you, honey.
Well, hello, my beautiful girls!
Hi.
How was school today?
Good.
What did you do?
Nothing.
They don't like me.
They don't like me.
They don't like me.
Don't worry about that.
I found the remote.
Oh, you did? Great! Yeah!
Okay. Ask me
what I did today.
Okay, what did you do today?
I stood up for
your sister, Dana,
at her office, big time!
Okay.
Yeah. Yeah.
You see, her boss
was reaming her
and it got really ugly and it
was in front of me, right?
So, as soon as Dana left,
I told him in a very
calm, adult way,
that his behavior
was inappropriate.
That's one of your words.
(STUTTERS) Yeah, okay.
Then what happened?
I got a bagel.
And you threw it at him? No! No!
I told him what
I wanted to say,
he "heard" me,
and went back to work.
Uh, wow, Jim!
You really did
handle that well.
That's right.
You sound surprised.
Well, I am.
Are you?
Yes!
Well...
You know what, you try to
pin me down, you can't.
(LAUGHING) First,
I'm in the light.
Then, I'm in the shadow.
Where am I?
You don't know!
(LAUGHING)
Oh, well, honey.
Wherever you are, I am very proud of you.
Yeah?
Yeah!
Weekday sex proud?
Well, how about a great big
kiss and a pudding cup?
Yeah, baby!
(LAUGHING)
I think that's
appropriate behavior.
Hey.
CHERYL: Hey!
What's the matter?
I just got fired.
I just don't understand
why he had to fire me.
I was doing great work.
Maybe it was political.
I don't know.
I'm just too stupid to figure it out.
I'm just a big stupid, stupid.
CHERYL: Oh!
Hey!
See, I'm in advertising and I can't even
come up with a better word than stupid.
Oh!
Dolt?
I'm sorry! I'm sorry, honey.
I'm sorry.
I do crossword puzzles while
the girls are in dance class.
I've been with Johnson and
Novak for eight years.
I don't know what I'm gonna do.
Oh! Jim?
Do you want to come into
the living room with me?
No, I'm okay, honey.
Jim?
What? What?
If you wanted me
to come with you,
why didn't you just
come out and say that?
I thought I did.
Hey, you guys,
I don't think I should go to
Andy's birthday party tonight,
I'm just gonna
ruin it for everybody.
Oh, no, no! Honey.
you've got to go.
We can't have both
you and Andy crying.
It'd be just like The Lion
King all over again.
Oh, poor Mufasa.
Door.
Door.
Okay. I'm gonna
ask you a question.
But, I'm pretty sure
I already know the answer.
Yes. These are the same
pants I wore yesterday.
Okay, Jim. When you
talked to Dana's boss,
did you say anything,
anything, that might
have gotten her fired?
Think.
(MOUTHING)
Yes.
What did you say?
I said something like,
"Don't ever talk to her
like that again,
"or she's gonna have
you job someday."
(EXCLAIMING) But, the tone
was much more lighthearted
than menacing.
Sweet, kind of uplift...
How could you do that to Dana?
What? Come on, you're always telling
me to treat Dana like family.
Well...
And, well, I did.
Okay, and it felt good.
And, I wish my wife could
share in that joy with me.
Well, if you're so
proud of what you did,
why don't you go in
and tell Dana about it?
Now is not a good time.
She just got fired.
Have a heart.
She's my sister.
I'm not gonna let her sit in
there and b*at herself up.
I'm gonna tell her.
No, no, no, no!
If you go ahead and do that, you
know what's going to happen?
She's gonna get mad at me,
then I'm gonna get mad at you,
and then Andy's gonna
get mad at everybody
for ruining his birthday.
And then, for some reason, which
will forever remain a mystery,
I'm gonna get in a
fight with the waiter.
She has a right to know.
Look, I know that Andy is
excited about his birthday,
but he is a big boy.
He'll be fine.
You guys! You guys! It's : .
(UP-TEMPO MUSIC
PLAYING ON RADIO)
(SHUSHING) Hey, Andy!
(ON RADIO) Hey, it's B.B.
Goode, and it's time for today's birthday wishes.
Andy! Don't ruin this for me.
Happy birthday, Dustin.
You're five today.
Terry is eight,
and turning today...
Here it is.
Randy!
(EXCLAIMING)
No! Andy. It's Andy!
(EXCLAIMING) Not Randy!
You've had my postcard
for six months.
Well, go ahead, tell her.
Jim! Now is not
a good time.
Oh!
Jim!
Yes.
Did you just undo your belt?
Honey, a runner always
stretches before a marathon.
CHERYL: (STUTTERS) All right, Dana.
Honey, slow down.
Come on, this is Andy's night.
(CHUCKLES) Slow down.
Slow down.
(CHUCKLES)
Oh, God, I'd like to see how
you react after getting fired.
Oh, no, that's right.
You haven't worked in years. Hmm.
Hey!
Raising three kids
is a full-time job!
Yeah. Mmm-hmm.
Well, so is having a full-time job.
(EXCLAIMING)
Surprise!
(ALL CHEERING)
(SIGHING)
Why do we have to do that every
time he goes to the bathroom?
(SHUSHING)
Okay. I know I said I wanted
to wait till after dinner,
but I want to open my presents now.
Hmm.
(EXCLAIMING)
Oh, my God!
A watch!
Dana, this is incredible.
It's not the one
I registered for,
but I love it.
Thank you. Ooh!
(CHUCKLING)
Here. My present to you.
(SIGHING)
What's this?
Your new paycheck.
You're giving me a raise?
Andy, you're a big
part of what we do,
and I couldn't do it
without you.
Happy birthday.
(SIGHING)
Well...
(CHUCKLES) I don't
know what to say.
(STAMMERS) Well, I'm just gonna speak
from the old four-chamber lounge here.
Um...
I love my job.
I do.
It's my identity.
It's my life.
I love waking up in the morning
knowing I have somewhere to
go where I'm appreciated.
Well, most of the time.
Just kidding, Jim. Don't fire me.
(ANDY LAUGHS)
No, but, seriously,
I just can't explain the
amount of self-loathing
I would be
experiencing right now
if I didn't have a job.
(CRYING)
Oh, Dana!
Now the floodgates are open.
Oh, Andy!
Look, she's so happy for you!
Andy, sweetheart, do you
want go powder your nose?
Uh-huh.
(WHISPERING) Jim!
So...
Have you decided what you're
gonna have for dinner?
The Tuscan T-bone.
(INHALING DEEPLY) Wow!
You know, my dream is to
send my girls to college
but, if you're hungry...
Dana.
What?
You know, I know you feel like
you got fired because
you screwed up.
But, that's not the truth.
Yes, it is, Jim.
(GRUNTING) How could
God put such incompetence
inside such a
good-looking person?
It's just so wrong.
You didn't do anything.
It was me.
(CHUCKLES) What?
It was me, Dana.
I got you fired.
What?
Well, after your boss
laid into you like that,
I had a little talk with him
and I tried to be cool,
but I might have said
something that scared him.
Like what?
Yeah, you know, just,
never to talk to you
that way again,
and that you'd probably
have his job someday.
But, how about the Capellini Pomodoro?
It's reasonable.
What? I've had it.
It's delicious!
Jim, how could you
do this to me?
I told you to stay out of it.
I was just
trying to help, Dana.
I don't need you
to speak for me.
Well, apparently, you do, 'cause
you didn't stand up for yourself.
That was a choice, Jim.
What kind of choice is that?
Letting someone talk to you that way?
Treat you like crap?
You just don't get it, do you?
Yeah. Bingham
was a jerk.
But I was willing to
put up with certain things
because I really
liked having a job.
And now, because of your help,
I'm gonna have to go
in there tomorrow
and beg that creep
to take me back.
Well, thanks, Jim.
Thanks a lot.
Finally, a thank you.
Jim, where's Dana?
Well, apparently,
there's no time that's the
right time to talk to her.
(EXCLAIMS)
Surprise!
Surprise!
Oh, Mrs.
Bishop, don't even worry about it.
I'm sure they're
here somewhere.
Oh, yeah, no, I'll
just ask the girls.
Okay, yeah.
Don't even worry about it.
Okay. Bye-bye.
Girls, where did you
hide Mrs. Bishop's teeth?
GRACIE: In the
cookie jar.
(WATER HISSING)
(SPITTING)
Hey.
Hey!
I've been calling you all day.
Where have you been?
I was cleaning out my office.
You need a half a
dozen staplers?
(CHUCKLING)
How are you?
Oh,
I've been better.
(CHUCKLES) Yeah.
I'm really sorry about running
out on Andy's party last night.
I hope I didn't
ruin everything.
Please. Don't even
worry about it.
Unlimited bread sticks
go a long way.
(CHUCKLING)
(STAMMERS) Look, honey, I
know you're upset with Jim.
But, you know, like everything else
he ruins, he does it out of love.
Yeah, I know. I was
halfway to the office,
to beg that creep for my
job back when I thought,
wait a minute,
Bingham's a jerk.
(CHUCKLES)
And, I'm not incompetent, you know.
I'm...
I'm great.
I'm amazing.
Ah!
Yes, you are!
What are you gonna do now?
(SIGHING) I don't know.
I just...
I don't know.
Hmm.
I've never been
out of work before.
I just know that I'm not gonna let
myself be treated like that again.
Well, good for you!
Yeah.
So, Jim was right.
(SCOFFS) Yeah. It's just one
slap in the face after another.
(LAUGHING)
All right. Let me
ask you something.
Hmm.
If you could do
anything you wanted,
Yeah.
...what would you do?
Okay. This is crazy.
I have always wanted to
be a traffic reporter.
Oh! You know, hovering
above the city
in one of those choppers. Yeah.
(EXCLAIMING)
Speaking of choppers...
(GRUNTS)
I've got to get these back to Mrs.
Bishop.
(EXCLAIMS IN DISGUST) I know!
Would you watch
the girls for me?
(CHUCKLING) Yeah. Thanks, honey.
And the Eisenhower's
just a mess,
it's backed up all the way
to the Tri-State toll road.
I recommend taking
surface streets, Ron.
Especially the way you drive.
(LAUGHING)
Okay... Oh, well,
it's the truth!
(LAUGHING)
Okay. In Chopper ,
this is Captain Dana,
"The Sky Hottie."
(LAUGHING)
Hey!
Hey.
You ran out of that restaurant
pretty quick last night.
Yeah.
You never got to have
your Capellini Pomodoro.
Oh! I wanted the
Tuscan T-bone.
Yeah, but it wasn't
your birthday.
(CUTLERY CLATTERING)
Thanks.
Mmm.
(COUGHING)
Did you want some?
All right.
I'm gonna be
a traffic reporter.
In a helicopter?
Yeah.
(LAUGHS)
That's cool.
(LAUGHS) Yeah.
Leave some for me. Leave some for me.
Leave some for me.
It's good.
It's really good.
(TOOLS CLATTERING)
Hey! Hey!
I thought I fired
you two chimps.
Uh, yes, sir, you did.
We're just picking
up our stuff.
Yeah. You really changed
your tune, didn't you?
See what happens with people
who cross Rod Bingham?
You want to play
with the big boys,
you better be a big boy.
Yes, sir.
Yes, sir.
(CHUCKLING)
(BOTH SNICKERING)
Hey, big boy!
(BOTH LAUGHING)