01x17 - Don't Judge Me

[bunniefuu]

Grrr!

[growls]

Moose!

Ready? This time for the record.
One... two...

[all take a deep breath]

[door bangs]

-Moose!
-Sticks!

I was this close
to winning a pointless game.

Thanks for nothing.

I saw a moose!

-A cross-eyed moose!
-So?

Crossing paths
with a cross-eyed moose

brings a curse upon the
moose-crosser and her friends.

Don't you know anything
about science?

Um, Sticks, curses aren't real.

How come you lost
the breath-holding game?

The curse!
It all makes sense now.

You can doubt me,
but I'll protect you anyway

because I'm a good friend.

And because it distracts me
from the agents

who are replacing my plants
with violins.

That's right.
I'm on to you, buddy!

-My vase!
-I win! Ha!

Mmm... Maybe the curse
broke the vase, huh?

Yeah.
The curse of the lunatic badger.

Uh-oh.
Now there are two curses?

What the...

Hey, Tails, is your house...

Surrounded
by Sticks' crazy traps?

Yep.

Sonic, what's up with you?

Just hanging out.

No, I haven't noticed anything.

Actually,
now that you mention it...

-[all] Huh?
-This is getting old.

Yeah. And I didn't even
get a sandwich this time.

Brrr!

OK, I know
what you're thinking.

Evil spirits didn't set this trap.
I did! To protect you.

From...
dangerous door-knocking?

No. From
the aforementioned evil spirits.

Aren't you paying attention?
They are bad news.

They'll eat your souls,
chew them up and spit them out.

This curse
is scary and disgusting.

Is there maybe a less intrusive
way to keep us safe?

Well, legend has it that
if we find a marmoset monkey

with a white stripe on its back
and a tail shaped like a W...

Shaped like a W?

Do you mind? Now, where was I?

Only such a monkey
can remove the curse.

So what's it gonna be?
Traps or monkey?

Is this really
the easiest path?

Safer than...
I don't know... that one?

Hello? The curse will get us
if we're out in the open.

This path is hidden
from bad luck.

And volcanoes. And cursquitos.

And reason. And logic.
And snack machines.

I'm all for playing it safe,
but...

Little help here?

We made it! Good thing
we took the safe path.

[Knuckles] Yeah.

Good thing.

-Excuse me, sir. We uh...
-Let me guess.

You saw a cross-eyed moose
and now you think there's a curse.

-Yes! I...
-Well, there is. On me.

My curse is nincompoops like you
see that thing and bother me.

But I am out
of the curse-breaking business.

That went well.
I guess it's time to go home.

No! I'll be cursed forever!

Help me, please!
Please, please, please, please!

Are you gonna keep pounding
on my door until I help you?

Pretty much.

Ugh! Why did I
become a curse-breaker?

I should have been
a dermatologist like my brother.

He never deals
with unpleasant stuff.

All right, all right, all right.
I'll break one last curse.

Thank you! Thank you,
thank you, thank you, thank you.

Don't make me
regret my decision.

Sorry!
Sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry.

Sorry.

Now, then, if you want me
to lift the curse,

you and your friends
must prove yourselves worthy.

How?

You will be given some tasks
to prove your hearts are pure.

If you succeed, I will free you

from the curse
of the cross-eyed moose.

But I warn you, many have tried
and many have failed.

We'll do it!
% Sonic guarantee.

Yeah, yeah, good.
Here's a list.

Be done before five. I've got
a dinner thing. Toodles!

Before you go, would you mind
taking a look at this rash?

I think I'm allergic
to fish saliva.

So get out of the fish!

Picking avocados
proves our hearts are pure?

What must we pick
to prove our avocados are pure?

Oh, man.
I just blew my own mind.

If this is what he wants
to break the curse,

then we should do it,
no questions asked.

Now we have to squeeze lemons?

-Technically that's a question.
-Technically, zip it.

"Search the forest
for the ripest tomatoes"?

"Then crush to a paste
with the mightiest rocks"?

Wait a minute...

You had us make guacamole.

And it took you long enough!

I hope this proves us worthy.
Curse-removal-wise.

Uh, not quite.

You must also...

cleanse these garments
in the purest river in the...

Fine.
We'll do your laundry too.

I'm starting to think
that marmoset is the curse.

Those things
better smell fresh.

You know,
marmosets are filthy animals.

I'm here about the curse
of a cross-eyed moose.

I'm out of the curse business!

I don't believe in curses.

But my accountant suggested
I diversify my evil business,

so I'm getting into
curse removal.

And you're coming
to work for me. Ha-ha-ha!

No, thanks.

Oh? My diabolical laugh
usually convinces people.

Oh, I see.
You want to negotiate.

A little back and forth.
Give and take.

OK, I'll go first.

Minions, attack!

[laughs]

-[Sonic] Eggman?
-Oh!

I never thought I'd say this,
but boy, am I glad to see you!

Oh, I'd just fluffed those.

That's for the laundry.

Brrr!

Hey, you left my clothes
on the ground.

Whatever happened
to personal responsibility? Ugh!

You're coming with me,
monkey-boy.

That's Mr Monkey-Boy to you.
And to anyone else, actually.

My parents were hippies

and gave me one of those
trendy hyphenated last names.

[metal clanking]

Ha-ha!

Hey, you OK?

I'm just peachy. I love having
my home destroyed by a madman.

What are you, nuts?

If you're not happy
with our help,

I'm sure other curse-removing
marmosets would love to have us.

I'm the only one,
but I get your point.

Look, I'll do anything you want
if you can just get rid of him.

As my great aunt used to say,
no retreat, no surrender.

Retreat! Surrender!

Catch you later, Eggface.

Look at the mess you made.

What happened
to "I'll do anything"?

Well, you ruined my laundry.

But you did save my life.

So I shall now break the curse
of the cross-eyed moose.

Yes! Ho-ho-ho!

Raise your right hand.

Oh, wait, that's weddings.

Um... just stand there
and try not to look too stupid.

Blahbiddy-blah-blah-blah.

Dongiddy-diddy-do.
Wabba-wabba-bam. Hey!

The curse is gone.
There you go.

-Done!
-That's it? It's all over?

Were you expecting a parade?
Curse is broken. Get lost!

This guacamole
ain't gonna eat itself.

I'm free! Free of the curse!

Free to live life freely!
In freedom!

And we're free
of your superstitious nonsense.

[Sticks] Aaagh!

No! A mauve-coloured
seven-legged spider.

Oh, crud.

It's eleven years bad luck!

We must go to Lake Yennyhaha
and bathe in the mud...

Boom! Curse broken.

[all laugh]