01x24 - Late Fees

[bunniefuu]

Grrr!

Agh! Help me!

Ha-ha-ha!

[shrieking]

That moth-bot is no match
for my swat-a-pult.

Knuckles,
we are code green for moth bait.

Hey! Look at me!
I'm having an idea.

I need to model my robots

after something
that's not so easily distracted.

Knuckles!
You got a moth on your tail!

You can't trust moths,
they read minds. Turn left!

No! My left!

He's under
the moth's mind control now.

We have no choice
but to destroy him.

-I'll release the mothballs.
-OK, fine, we have a choice.

[groans]

Ow! My neck!
You cheated, hedgehog.

What?
How do you cheat in a fight?

Fight's over, cheater.
Pull me out of this piece of junk.

Be careful, I'm injured.

Yes! Victory is mine.

It's a tainted victory.

Yes! Tainted victory is mine.

Excuse me, sir,
are you Sonic the Hedgehog?

Ha! Guilty as charged.
So, what'll it be, kid?

Autograph? You want
your picture taken with me?

Maybe a bite of this
comically large sandwich, huh?

You've been served.
Dr Eggman is suing you.

Sure you don't want a bite?

Most of it will go to waste.

Eggman is suing me?
Nobody's gonna take this seriously.

It's the trial of the century

that everyone is taking
very, very seriously.

This will ruin the life
of whomever loses.

Brought to you by Meh Burger.

Mmm!

Let's get a statement
from the defendant.

The only thing I'm guilty of
is being awesome.

You heard it,
Sonic says he's guilty.

[Sonic] Of being awesome.

Hey,
who's the news reporter here?

Come on, Eggman,
you're not fooling...

Agh! Help! Sonic's attacking me
unprovoked again.

Leave me alone, you brute!

[all gasp]

[sighs]

Thanks
for making me your lawyer.

I couldn't be more proud
if you actually believed in me

instead of thinking
this trial is a joke.

I'm glad my contempt
for the situation worked out for you.

Where did it go?

Ah-ha-ha!

All rise for the honourable and
lithium-ion-powered judge-bot.

[all gasp]

I'm OK.

Let all who come before me know

that I have been programmed
to be fair and impartial

and to in no way favour
Dr Eggman,

the great man who created me.

[groans]

Heh-heh-heh!

Why are there cockroaches
on my bench?

TW Barker, Your Honour.
Counsel for the plaintiff.

I intend to prove
that Sonic T Hedgehog

wilfully and maliciously
att*cked and permanently injured

my client, Dr Eggman.

Boo!

Please refrain from
such outbursts in my courtroom.

Now commence
your opening statement.

That... was
my opening statement.

Isn't it true that Dr Eggman
was att*cked by Mr The Hedgehog

while doing nothing more
than taking a leisurely evening drive

in a harmless
moth-shaped vehicle?

Harmless?

Eggman's robots
destroy mountains, level cities,

put songs in your head
that you can't get out.

♪ If frogs had wings
and snakes had hair ♪

♪ And automobiles
went flying through the air ♪

No more music!

All Eggman's robots
must be destroyed.

[all gasp]

I mean... heh-heh-heh...
not you, Your Holiness.

-[laughs]
-Oh, boy.

Mr Orbot, is it?

Would you describe Dr Eggman
as kind and honest?

-No, not really.
-Grrr!

Oh... because those words
aren't strong enough.

He's kind-er and honest-est.

Good save, Orbot.

Turn off your internal dialogue
switch, fool. Show the film!

[jaunty music]

[all sniff]

Heh-heh!

Boss, now that we're done
faking that evidence,

you want me to return this stuff
to the costume shop?

Grrr!

Finally!
A witness I can rely on.

Could you tell us
what it is you admire

about Sonic
the so-called Hedgehog?

So many things.

He's fast. He's cunning.

He can destroy any opponent
with a single spin dash.

He's got
a lovely singing voice...

My! He sounds
like the total package.

You bet.

If total package means
a fast, crafty menace to society

bent on the destruction
of anyone who disagrees with him.

-Oh, man.
-I never said that.

That's right. I left out
"lovely singing voice".

[all laugh]

Now, these opponents that
Mr The Hedgehog mercilessly destroys,

can you name one that he battles

with a regularity
that boarders on formulaic?

Um... I guess
he battles Eggman a lot.

Aha! How long did you think
you could keep that from us?

Objection, Your Majesty.
We're losing.

Overruled.
But yes... yes, you are. Badly.

I rest my case.

That guy's good.
You should hire him as your lawyer.

I'll be fine.
People know the truth about me.

The number one reason you might
get att*cked by Sonic...

you've been telling jokes
about him all week on your late show.

Uh-oh.

[fast music]

We'll be right back... unless
Sonic puts me in the hospital!

[Wolf] You, sir, are fearless
in your comedy. Hey-o!

Well, now, I'm just
a simple country lawyer.

I'm not as sharp
as Mr Barker here.

I don't know how to do
that fancy lawyering.

Heck, I don't know
how to do simple things like...

putting on mittens.

I don't even know

which end of the toothbrush
goes in your nose.

Why, I'm dumb as a rock...
just like you good folks.

[all growl]

[groans]

The defence calls... Knuckles.

You're not gonna trap me
with your lawyer tricks.

I know how this works.

I've seen hospital shows
on the radio

where they sometimes have
lawyers who trap people.

What was the question again?

So tell me,
Mr... Knuckles, is it?

Is Sonic capable of doing this
kind of damage to Dr Eggman?

Are you kidding? No way.

He's scrawny, weak and pathetic.

I always have to bail him
out of jams.

He's an embarrassment.

What a loser.

Quite frankly,
it sickens me to look at him.

[groans]

So, could Sonic
hurt Eggman like this?

Well... um...

Answer the question!

No. No. Sonic is way too lame
to do that kind of damage.

There, I said it. I said it.
[sobs]

Hey, I'm totally capable
of whaling on Egg...

Eggs Florentine for breakfast.
I call 'em "whaled-on eggs".

For the love of all that's holy!
That save was worse than mine.

I'd rest my case but I hope
there's another fist sandwich.

So, has the jury
reached a verdict?

Actually,
we need to deliberate first.

Yes, of course. That would be
the impartial way to do it.

The jury shall go
to the deliberation room

while the rest of us have a
groovy, hippy-theme dance party.

[' s-style rock music]

[birds chirping]

Some party, huh? My mouth feels
like it's full of socks.

Oh, wait. Urgh!

I was wondering where that was.

[door opens]

Here comes the jury.
Oh, man, they look serious.

Has the jury reached a verdict?

Actually, we have, Your Honour.

And would the jury
care to share it with us?

Actually, we would.

Am I going to have to
make you say it?

Actually, what
was the question again?

-Guilty!
-Of being awesome?

To make the verdict official
I'll just pound my gavel and...

-[Amy] Not so fast!
-Huh?

-Huh?
-Huuuh?

That's not a gavel.

This is a gavel! Hi-yah!

Huh?

Hey, look at Egghead.
He can move his head just fine.

What? I mean... yow! Ow!

[sobs]

Save it, Eggman.

Grrr!

Fine! You leave me no choice.

Not that I wasn't
going to do this anyway. Ha!

[shrieking]

Order in the court!

Yeah, I'll have one
of those fist sandwiches.

[cheering]

Uh-oh.
I... uh... well, you see...

I leave town for a bee-keeping
seminar and look what happens.

I'm Soar the Eagle,
reporting live from the courthouse

where we're told
there is breaking news.

Ha!

I'll give you something
to sue me about!

Grrr!

Well, that wraps things up.

Stay tuned for Comedy Chimp's

New Year's Eve Rockin'
Bananaganza coming up next.

-Well, that was anticlimactic.
-Hey-o!