Act Like You Love Me (2013)

[bunniefuu]

Whoo, those girls take
forever in the bathroom.

Okay, so like I was saying,

do you know that this fool wanted me to turn
down $ 2 million from the insurance company?

$2 million.

Yes, girl, for one leg.

And I'm thinking to myself

"Can I get
$2 million for my leg?"

Or at least, I don't know...

these ugly a*s
ankles could get about 250.

Okay, your ankles are ugly

but I'm not sure
that they're worth 250.

You know, sometimes I wonder
what these fools are thinking.

I'm like, "Man, just take
the money, please."

We got other cases.

Okay, but this is what happens

when you chase ambulances
for a living.

You don't attract the most
sophisticated of clients.

I'm sorry, I had a long day.

Hi.

Hey, hey, Pocahontas.

'Sup, baby?

I got this for you, a'ight?

Um, who are you?

Thug Lover, Okay? Okay.

I've never heard of you.

Well, you will, okay.

Who are you? My man.

Thug Lover, let us in.

Oh, that's right.

Thug Lover, playa.

That way, sir, this is private.

I don't chase ambulances, okay?

I work on referral. Hm.

And I'd rather that

than digging in people's
nasty mouths all day.

Excuse me, but being a dentist

has enormous personal rewards.

And enormous cavities
and craters

and gingivitis breath.

Oh, and speaking of which

not that you do, but
it's almost been six months

so I need you in my office
before Friday

because the last time we
had to do two root canals.

There are two things
that make me weak:

chocolate candy

and chocolate men.

You do have a weakness for both.

Um, I'll be right back.
Are you...

You're gonna pay
for that drink, heifer.

Excuse me.

Is this Buckingham Palace?

What?

What's your name, princess?

Um, I have a dog whose
name is princess.

I'm glad you like dogs.

What you drinkin', baby?

I was drinking a Grand Marnier.

Was, well, you still are.

Bartender, Grand Marnier,
please.

Matter of fact,
make it a double, son.

Big dog.

It's the black card, baby.

Keep 'em coming.

Well, uh, thank you.

I appreciate that.

I'm Kelly.

B Smooth.

Got an album about to drop.

Gonna start a whole new
movement, you feel me?

Um... Huh?

Isn't it a little late
to start a rap career?

$14, my man.

Okay, bartender, I mean, sucker.

I mean, you know, whoever
you were just interrupting me

while I'm talkin' to
the young lady.

I mean, you could
have more respect, B?

I'm sorry.

I got haters already, baby.

I ain't even out the blocks yet.

Hm. You feel me?

I'll drop a little
something for you right now.

Coming out of my album.

What... you're not about to
rap right now, are you?

Like a phone check, check-check,
one, a-one-two, aragh.

They come and B Smooth.

The thug lover.

Get me on the sheets
and on the coochie-cutter

I got my love for these h*'s.

And never meet my mother.

Ooh-ooh, ooh-ooh, ah.

'Cause after this pipe
you'll never meet another.

'Nother, Thug Lover.

Ah, sir, your card is declined.

♪ You're gonna need another ♪

Hello, hater...

I know you been hatin' on me since I walked
up in here but you need to chill with that.

Just go run it again,
B, a'ight, son?

I tried it five times.

It's declined, sir.

You want to get
your name in the papers?

You want to lock hands
with the Thug Lover?

Come on, son.

You know what,
um, uh, uh, B Smooth...

How about you and I make a deal?

Right, Okay.

I will take care of the bar tab

if you promise me to go to
the other side of the room

and don't come back
for the rest of the night.

It's like that?

Okay.

Don't you holla at me when I blow up,
all right? You know what I'm saying?

But you had your shot!

You know, I'm certain that I'm
going to regret this

when you blow up
but in the meanwhile

I'm gonna go with my gut,
okay, B Smooth?

Yeah, I'ma B Smooth Yeah.

And you... you just be you.

And you bartender, son, honey

Got eyes for you B.

Deuces, Homey.

He's an investment
banker at J.P.

Jackpot!

Well, on my end,
you missed B Smooth.

You know, I thought I saw
him rapping over here.

Was he actually performing?

Oh, yeah, live and in concert.

Why do I always
miss the good stuff?

Excuse me.

My name is Chad,
what's your name?

Well, he's polite,
that's a good start.

Well, her name is Kelly.

And she doesn't
wanna play any games

and she hasn't had sex
for six months

because the last guy that she
was with had commitment issues.

So either you come correct or
you don't come at all, playa.

Tianna. Huh?

Would you please excuse
yourself over there?

Thank you.

Ah-uh, hi, I'm Kelly.

Nice to meet you, Chad.

I apologize for my friend.

It's cool, that's
what friends are for.

And, um, nothing that
she said is true, by the way.

It's all right, it's all right.

Us men are usually always
fighting that last guy

who usually probably
always left a huge mess.

Mmm, yeah, actually... gigantic.

Should I be scared?
Oh, very, very.

Yeah, like poltergeist scared.

I'll take my chances.

Actually, Chad, you know I'm
just getting off work

and I just came here
to have a drink and unwind

and I really wasn't planning
on meeting anyone tonight.

You just gon' switch
personalities

like that out of
the blue, woman?

I mean, we were doing so good.

You smilin', eye contact,
and I just want conversation.

And I appreciate that really...
Pause.

Mute.

Why you gotta be so bitter?

I mean, he was kinda cute.

Tianna, you know, it's just
been too soon since Jared.

You need to loosen up.

You probably need to
have a couple more drinks

and let ol' boy over there

get rid of all those cobwebs
down there and live a little.

I'm fine.

I've got my B.E.T.
and my Snuggy.

Okay, grandma, and you
probably have some bloomers

up under that dress, don't ya?

You have bloomers, don't you?

Thank you.

My little investment banker,

he's picking me up for breakfast
at 7:30 a.m., promptly.

Wow, you move faster than
a speeding b*llet.

Well, how else do you expect
me to find my Superman?

You know what, don't tell me.

You don't need a man when
you have a Snuggy, right?

Exactly.

Thelma and Louise, over here.

I wanna play in your hair.

Wait a sec, why y'all leaving?

Why so soon?

A tease.

Bye-bye.

Sweet thing. Um...

I am sick of this.

Intervention time.

Excuse me.

What are you doing
tomorrow night? Uh, excuse me?

Be here at 7:00 p.m. and
don't keep my girl waiting.

Uh, okay. Okay.

I'm gonna k*ll you.

I'm gonna have one
drink and then I'm going home.

Thank you.

You got a bad attitude.

What just happened? Dude.

Every time we go out, man,
you get all the girls.

I didn't do nothin'.

Listen, man,
we work out together.

I got a body like yours...
It's the hair.

It ain't the hair,
I'll hook you up with a friend.

It ain't the hair. Hook me up.

The one in the cheetah?
Yeah, yeah.

I'm gon' hook you up with that.
Teach me what you know, man.

I got ya, I got ya. Damn.

It's the gym whistle, baby.

Hello, I'm Kelly,
nice to see you again.

Oh, I can't do this.

Live... and let live.

Oh, I look like
I'm going to a funeral.

♪

So, Chad, why don't you tell me
a little bit about yourself.

Hm, let me see.

Ah, I'm originally
from Cleveland.

Currently, I teach gym to
high school students in Compton.

Don't say nothin' funny
about Compton, please.

Um, and when I'm not doing that

I'm pursuing my acting career.

You work in Compton. Um-hm.

Do you know B Smooth,
the Thug Lover?

Who?

Never mind, I'm-I'm sorry.

You know what, if we get time,

you really should let me
show you some of my work.

I even had a featured extra role
on "The Young and the Restless."

The director liked my
look so much he gave me a line.

Somebody asked me for
directions in a scene

and I told them, "Go down there,
you can make it if you hurry."

It was something,
it was something.

So let me get this straight.

You said your father,
your grandfather

and your great-grandfather
were all dentists.

Yes, but I'm the crazy one

who had to take it
to the next level.

I actually own six
dental clinics.

Yeah, I come from a long
line of, uh, teeth people.

Beautiful teeth people.

So you're a daddy's girl.

Um, yeah, a little bit,
little bit.

But growing up, my dad
was so over-protective.

I felt like I was in
solitary confinement.

Why was he so overbearing?

My, uh, oldest brother,
Ty, was k*lled and, um...

after that my mom went
a little crazy.

She started drinking.

My dad had to step in and take
care of everybody and...

Sorry to hear that.

Well, um, do you mind if
we change the subject?

Not at all, not at all. Okay.

So, what'd your father do?

Lock you in the basement
and just throw food at you?

Practically.

You know, that's terrible, right?
Yeah, but, you know what?

Here is a true fun fact.

I didn't go on my first
real date till I was 18.

Eight... so you were a hot nerd.

He called every 15 minutes

until my mother
finally took the phone away.

He better not
call now, you're busy.

You're right, I am busy.

And besides, I'm
a grown woman now so...

Are you now?

Hm.

The funny thing is...

is now, he will practically give
me away to anyone with a job

and a nice smile.

How grown are you?

I can do this.

I can be sexy.

I am Sasha Fierce.

Yeah, it's about to go down.

Okay, ready?

I can be sexy, I am...

You ready in there?

Drink's took a hold of me now.

You know that hand
will make you sin.

Um, if only guys knew when
to shut the hell up.

Okay.

Damn, you look like lunch.

Whoo.

Um, can you be quiet?

I won't say anything else.

Great.

Ooh, Candy Land.

Shh. Sorry.

Wait-wait-wait.
I'm sorry, I can't.

What you, wh-why, why can't you?

Baby, come on, I'm in the zone,
baby, come on, now.

No, see it's just...

I don't really know you and...

I didin't feel
anything when we kissed

and you know, and this
really isn't me.

So you really gonna
tease me like that?

Come on, now baby, we were
at the five-yard line.

Just let me in the end zone.

No, see, really, I can't.

I'm sorry.

So this really
ain't gonna happen.

Unh-uh.

Aw, come on now, I just knew this was gonna
go down. Now you can't... you can't do this.

It's unfair, to me and him.

You know, maybe if
the three of us

all knew each
other a little better

and I could see that there
was a real genuine spark...

You don't feel
all that electricity?

All of that?

Uh, no, eh...

You know, I promise,
listen, listen.

Baby, I'll be worth the wait.

Will you now?

I think so.

Mm-hm, you just wanna talk

and get to know each other,
maybe watch "The Notebook?"

You don't have to
be such a jerk!

And you don't have
to be such a tease.

Now I owe Rich 20 bucks.

Get out!

You don't gotta tell me twice.

I could've had more
fun on my laptop.

Oh, unbelievable.

'Round here teasing me like
we in the tenth grade,

playing red light, green
light with that little thing.

Mmm.

I said get out! I need my shoe.

Oh, you need your shoe, do you?

Yeah, wait, wait...
Really... Here you go

Here you go.

♪

Yeah, he's an aspiring actor but
he couldn't even pretend

that he was
only after one thing.

Kelly, you hit him
over the head.

Are you serious right now?

I told you I wanted him
to beat that thing up.

Not to beat him up.

You... girl, you got
serious issues, you know that?

And I'm gonna ask
you a question,

and you don't have to answer it.

What?

When you went to school

and you took the
yellow school bus

did you take the long bus

or did you take
the short bus, Kelly,

did you take the short bus?

Okay, cut it out.

Hey, and I'm gonna
tell you something.

You try to set me up again,
I'm gonna beat you up.

You going on the beat down list.

Oh, aggression, huh?

You know what,
it's that rap music.

I'm gonna get you some gospel
music for your iPod

because you need Him.

I need something

because I gotta go to this
engagement party

for my sister this weekend
and it's gonna be... ugh.

Well, at least
Carlton finally proposed.

And he's cute, too.

Well, look at that.

Younger sister getting
married before you? Really?

Et tu, Brute?

Seriously, you sound
like my parents.

"Kelly, we're so worried
about you, you're always alone.

"Kelly, we're worried about you.

"You gotta get a man
before your hips spread.

"You gotta get a man before
your hair turns gray.

You gotta get a man
before your eggs dry up."

I mean, on and on
and on it goes.

Well, FYI, they were
right about the hip thing.

You almost as big as me, look.

Honey, that is cute, all that.

That's Rhianna,
that's... that's cute.

Okay. They like booty.

"Media Take Out" says
it's a good thing.

What Susan?

Okay, Kelly, just
chill out, okay,

'cause I need you right now.

I am a nervous wreck

and I think I picked like the wrong weekend to stop smoking.
I tried on my wedding dress and my stomach is hideous

and I have to do
like a thousand crunches

before I can even fit in it.

And right now, I started smoking
and I'm on this binge

and I can't stop right now.

And you're calling me because...

Because I'm already freaked out

so the last thing I
need is for to not show up

and like, ruin everything.

Do not steal this moment, you better show up. I don't want to hear
excuses about work or anything, Kelly. I swear to God you better come.

I'm coming, I'll be there.

Mm-hm.

You sound jealous,
are you jealous?

No, of course not,
I'm happy for you.

Mm, Okay.

Just wanna make sure that
you're not jealous.

'Cause you can do
that sometimes, you know?

Mommy's so proud, she's like
bragging to everyone.

She told the pastor and
like daddy really likes him.

I just want everything
to be perfect.

Well, that's great.

Susan, I gotta go.

Kelly, I swear to God
you better show up.

No, I'm not jealous, okay, bye.

Okay, so you pulled me out
of yoga class for what?

'Cause I was focusing
on my pranayama.

What? My pranayama.

Okay, never mind, just pay attention, all
right? I'm having an emotional breakdown here.

Okay, just don't
throw a shoe at me.

What's wrong?

It's Susan.

She called yesterday just
to gloat, no other reason.

Well, she has a reason to gloat.

Kind of, I mean...

He's cute and he has a good job.

He has nice toned arms.

Okay, can you stop please?

And then my mom, she called
and gave me the speech again.

So what'd you say?

You don't wanna know.

OMG, what did you say?

Or else I'm gonna take off
my shoe and hit you with it.

I lied.

I told her I had a man and I was bringing
him to the party. Why would you do that?

I don't know, okay, I was having a moment.
I freaked out, just help me.

Okay, okay, just...

Let me think.

Okay, my cousin
Greg would be perfect

except he doesn't get out of
the pen for another month.

The pen, really?

What are you trying to do,
scare me straight?

Okay, chill out.

It was just as*ault with a
deadly weapon, no biggie.

He is a gentle soul.

Who else?

Okay, everybody I'm
thinking of is fine.

Don't get me wrong but...

There just not smart enough
to pull this off.

Well, that says a lot about your
taste in men now, doesn't it?

Well, I'll just have to check

Oprah's magazine
about that, won't I?

I got it.

I got it, I know what to do.

Okay, whenever you say that
I get really scared.

I...

Oh, and the look, Jesus.

Oh, God...

Okay, Chad, come on, can't
you see I'm working?

Baby, I'm trying to
get in the mood.

I'm a method actor.

Just being supportive.

All right, let me make
this real simple for you.

Whatever you say, honey.

No kissing with tongue.

We sleep in separate
beds, and no PDA.

PDA's a computer file.

No, that's PDF.

PDA... public displays
of affection.

Oh, okay, got it, honey.

I'm, oh, please,
don't call me honey.

I can't believe I let Tianna
talk me into this.

You need to find yourself
another date, buddy.

She is no fun at all.

I mean, even I like a little
bit of tongue now and again.

And I like me some
chocolate with my tea.

See, even Blanche from
"The Golden Girls..."

Oh, no, I heard her.

Why don't you turn around
and mind your own business.

I can only imagine what kind
of freak show you are

back at the nursing home.

Me, I have morals and values.

Something you lost
a long time ago.

Anyway, let me
remind you of our deal.

You don't have to remind me,
I am not an idiot.

Okay, I get it.

I'm your boyfriend
for the weekend.

We play nice.

Nobody asks you
any awkward questions

about why you're still single.

And, uh, yeah,
everything's fine.

Right.

But if you screw this up or this
thing blows up in my face then...

Then I don't get paid. Atta boy.

Oh, and...

here is your cheat sheet, okay?

No, don't say I didn't warn you

but my family's gonna
ask a lot of questions.

Don't look at me like that.

This is part of our deal.

You need to know everything
there is to know about me.

What about me, don't you need
to know some stuff about me?

I can put one of these together.

Oh, trust me.

I already know everything I need to know about
you. Okay, look, I need some direction.

What's my backstory,
what's my motivation?

Put your seatbelt on. It's on.

Wanna put your hand
down there and check?

Study.

Long weekend.

♪

Wow.

Not a bad low ride at all.

All right.

Wow.

Yeah, it's a little
different than Compton

so try not to drool

Sweetheart. Dad, hey.

Oh, sweet pea, I waited all
day for you to get here.

Oh, really.

Oh, don't act surprised.

If you'd looked at your phone
there are 15 messages

from the time you said
you were on the plane.

Now I, however, can be
gone all day long

and not a whisper from him.

Oh, stop it, stop it, stop it.

So this must be
the future prospect.

Yes, Chad, these are my parents.

This is David
and Harriet Lofton.

Sir. Chad.

All right, nice to meet you.

Ma'am. Lovely meeting you.

Whoa, he's got nice teeth.

Thank you. Yeah, well
this is exciting.

I can't wait to hear
all about you.

The ladies from the church
have been calling all morning

just for some details.

Mom, you've already told
the ladies at the church.

Well, good news travels fast.

You mean, good gossip
travels fast.

So, when did you meet?

Six months ago.
Three months ago.

Well, we met six months ago...

But we've been dating
for three months.

Oh, okay.

And where did you meet?

At the gym. At the beach.

There's a gym...

That's at the beach.

Ahh, okay, it must be lovely.

And it's working.

Look at my girl.

Well, you must be hungry,
come on in.

All right, all right,
good, good.

You need a hand with those?

No, I'm good. Good, good.

♪

Explain the term.

Well, Chad, welcome
to our humble abode.

Yes.

Humble, this place is gorgeous.

I like that, you're
a real gentlemen.

Thank you.

Yeah, well, he really
is a wonderful guy, dad.

You know, I'm glad you're here.

Kelly works too hard.

Don't you agree?

Sir, it's my job to make sure

she takes a little
time for herself.

That was a trap,
I just wanted to make sure.

I'm on it, I'm on it.

He's a real winner.

Well, we'll have to
see if he measure up.

Maybe this one won't get you
the way that Jared did.

Sorry, that was cruel, sorry.

Mm-hm, and it's nice to
see you too, Susan.

This is my boyfriend, Chad.

Chad, my sister.

Chad. Hi.

Well, he definitely looks like an athlete.
He's certainly built like one.

So what do you do, Chad?

He's an actor.

Yes. Oh, an actor.

Well, I mean, I haven't
seen you in anything.

And I watch Netflix every day.

Well, it was nice meeting
you Denzel.

Denzel. Excuse me, Chad.

Make yourselves comfortable.

Thank you. Denzel.

She's got jokes,
she's always got jokes.

She has nothing to
do but write them.

Well, come on in, come on.

Don't you knock?

For what?

Ain't nothin' going on in here.

Plus, aren't you
waiting for daddy

to give you the keys to
your chastity belt?

You know, I was hoping
as you got older

you would actually get nicer.

What is your problem, Susan,
what are you doing?

Mm, just as I thought.

No condoms,
no birth control pills.

Unless you're a freak, ooh.

Okay, get out, good-bye.

You do know that you're
not gonna be able

to keep that
fine-a*s man, right?

But if you're nice I'll
give you some tips.

If you're nice, I'll let
you keep your teeth.

Get out.

Hm, whatever.

Ah, my God.

♪

See what I'm doing here?

I'm studying, learning my part.

So that way at least one
of us knows the answers.

I'm sorry.

You keep messin' up.

You did notice I
was on point with mine.

What is it, stage
fright or what?

Well, you know,
this is a lot harder

than I thought it would be.

Look.

Oh, yeah.

We met six months ago.

Right, at the gym.

I can read, Chad.

Okay, we'll, I'm just saying you are affecting
my performance. You know what I'm saying?

For me, it's about the craft,
the purity of the craft.

Mm-hm, listen, pay
attention to me, okay?

My sister, she is Satan
in a size zero.

So watch out for her.

Yeah, she is scary.

Should we just quit now?

I mean, while we're ahead,
before we get in too deep?

I can just leave and
you can take...

And what, let my sister win?

Either that or she
find out and embarrass us

in front of your whole
entire family.

You know, what kind
of man are you?

And what about the money, okay?

I'm not even making
my day rate on this.

All right, fine, I'll throw in

a couple of extra
hundred dollars, all right?

Just... shut up and
stay focused.

I'm focused, I don't
need your extra money.

You study your parts.

I'm Morgan Freeman
with this right here.

Get it... get it together.

♪

Pretty much the same as it
was when you left, huh?

Thank you, daddy.

Now you two...

Chad? Yes, sir?

Come back in here,
I need you to hear this.

Yeah, um...

Want you kids to
control yourselves.

You have to understand,
her mother...

wanders the halls late at night.

Bible in one hand, meat
cleaver in the other.

I don't know what it's for.

'Course I will do my best to
control my unbridled passion

that comes over me every time
she and I lay down together.

Dad, gross, really, ew.

Too much information?

Uh-huh. Yeah.

Unpack.

Your dad is a freak.

And speaking of freak.

Yeah, come on,
let's light the fire.

Okay, don't get any ideas.

You are sleeping on the floor.

What?

♪

Yeah, okay, I know.

I know.

Yeah, I know, I know, I know
I'm over three months late.

I'm aware of this.

Yeah, all I need is just
a little bit more time.

Yeah, I just need...
Like 30 days.

Yes, I'm aware of that.

I know who you are...

and I do enjoy the full
use of my kneecaps.

Look, look, let's
just be reasonable.

Uh, hello, hello?

All right.

Carlton.

Hey. Baby, you made it.

My Sweet, how are you?

Oh, Mm.

I missed you so much.

How was the Black Orthodontists
of America convention?

Oh, you know, it was Vegas.

I mean, for the most part,
but it was just, you know,

boring convention stuff,
you know, as usual.

Did you stay away from
the blackjack table

like you promised me?

Uh, what, me, gamble?

No, scout's honor.

That's why I love you,
you're so mentally strong.

You know, I've been trying to
center myself a lot lately.

You know, practicing a lot of
Eastern meditation techniques,

and you know find my oneness
and asking myself, "Who am I?"

Oh, baby, you're so deep.

But, you know, we've got a
lot of time for this later.

Let's go in, see your parents
and have a little fun, okay?

Okay, come on. All right?

sh*t.

Mmm...

Your future son-in-law
has arrived.

Hi, hey...

Oh, my goodness, hello.

Oh, good to see you again.

I am so glad you finally
made it safely.

David was worried.

He'll be so happy you're here.

Yeah, you know, we do get along
quite well, don't we?

And just think, pretty soon

you're gonna be calling me son.

And what a wonderful occasion
that's gonna be.

You know what, I'm just
gonna go get him.

Well, well, well, if it isn't
my future sister-in-law.

How you doing, Carlton.

I'm great, I'm great, and, uh...

Who do we have here,
this gentleman here?

Yeah, we're still trying to
figure that out ourselves.

I'm Chad, Kelly's boyfriend.

Yes, and he is so amazing

and he loves me unconditionally

and he makes me feel so secure.

I'm almost like a new
woman every day, whoo!

Yeah, okay, well, you know...

Oh, look who's here. Hey...

Back in town.

Hey, hey, Dave. What's up?

Good to see you, man.

Hey, hey, congratulations
on such a joyous occasion.

Thank you, thank you very much.

Glad that you're here.

You know what?

Why don't we all
retire to the den.

Drinks all round,
it's a celebration.

Drinks all around.

Except for me.

Everybody else, everybody else.

Come on, let's go,
bar's all set up.

To the room.

I have the bar all set up and...

hors d'oeuvres.

Oh, look at what you did,
you did this yourself?

Grandma's special pâté.

That's nice... look at this.

Wine's been breathing all day.

It's beautiful,
it looks so beautiful.

Yes, so, uh...

So, uh, it's Chip or Charles...

Chad. Chad.

Chad, Chad.

Chad, I don't know
if they told you.

I'm an orthodontist myself.

What is it you do for a living?

Well, I'm a teacher by day.

And my passion is acting.

Oh, well, okay.

Teacher, well that's
pretty noble and cute.

So what is it, mathematics
or science?

Actually, I teach
physical education.

Well, okay, wow, that,
that's actually splendid.

Uh... you said you
were an actor so

are there any films we've
probably have seen you in?

You know what, actually, I was
just on "Young and the Restless"

and I had this line where
somebody asked me for directions

and I said, "Go down there ..."

Excuse us for one...
One second, excuse us.

I'll finish when I get back.

We'll be holding our breath.

He said, "Go down there ..."

What is your major malfunction?

Me... What is your problem?

What I do?

One line on a soap opera
does not make you

an Academy Award-winning actor.

Really?

Okay, I'm sorry, all right.

I'm sure you're
very good, a true thespian

but come on, it's game time.

Okay, I'ma let you slide
with your little insult

but it's stressful
working under these conditions.

I know and I'm sorry.

And I'm sorry about Carlton.

He's a cornball.

Yeah, well, I don't like him.

I don't like him.

I don't trust him.

I don't like him, why don't
you trust him?

Well, never mind,
it's not your concern.

The point is, is just
do your damn job

and make me look good.

Okay, it shouldn't be too hard.

Sorry.

Sorry, you guys about being anti-social. You
know, when Kelly wants her one-on-one time,

gotta drop everything and go.

Isn't he awesome?

Hey, that's my rule,
it's all about the queen.

Wow, and he knows how
to lay it on thick.

I love this man so much I can
hardly breathe sometimes.

Oh, well, sweetheart, I have one
of your inhalers in the kitchen.

Mommy...

No, really.

You two... stop it, will you stop it?
I'm just saying...

You two lovebirds,
you're something else.

More than charming.

How 'bout we get
ready for dinner, huh?

Okay. We should.

Absolutely.

I will just... it's almost done.

I tell you, really, it is.

The chicken is almost ready.

The back molar is so tough.

I thought I would
have to use a jackhammer.

Toast, toast, toast, toast. To Susan
and Carlton and their future happiness

and wait-wait-wait-wait

and... to Kelly and Chad.

Maybe you'll be back
sometime soon

celebrating something, huh?

And finally...

to my wonderful wife.

Thanks for 30 years.

The best 30 years any man
could ever hope for.

Oh, cheers.

Cheers.

Cheers, my dears.

So Chad... Mm.

Why don't you tell us
how you manage to

do acting and be a gym
teacher at the same time.

Uh, well, it's a little
difficult but I try.

Oh, no, you're good, real good.

I can tell.

Well, I mean, you know,

you have to have a lot of patience to tolerate my sister.
So, what, you guys been dating, what, three months.

So you must've
gotten to know Kelly

really well in three months,
huh, Chad?

Um... enough to know
what I like about her.

So what about her likes?

I mean, you gotta admit,

she does have some
strange preferences.

That she does.

I mean, take her favorite
ice cream, for instance.

Right, like
praline and pistachio

with strawberries on top.

Random.

Really random.

Oh, let's take her breakfast.

Exactly, two eggs over easy,

pomegranate juice on
the side, a pickle,

and the biggest,
blackest cup of coffee

she can get her little hands on.

That's right.

You know what's
also crazy about her?

Her taste in music.

Who are you telling...
I swear if I have to hear

another Mariah Carey song, sir,

I'm jumping off your
roof tonight, I'm serious.

Well, yeah, that's,
uh, that's my Chad.

Won't be long now,
I'll tell you that.

Well, uh, uh, excuse me, guys.

Got a phone call,
I gotta take this.

Excuse me, sorry.

Well, Susan, your fiancé sure

has a lot of important
phone calls.

Don't tell me.

Emergency orthodontics.

He's on call.

Oh, yeah, I'll bet he is.

What's with all the quest...

Mommy, make her stop
picking on me, please.

Dentist work just never stops.

So what are we talking about?

Well, as it was just so happen,
they were talking about you.

Is that right?

No, I wasn't.

I was talking about Chad.

Well, as long as we
doing all this talking

hopefully the talking
is nice, I hope.

So Kelly...

we seem to know a lot about
you through Chad's eyes.

Why don't you tell us
a little bit about Chad.

I mean, you know, look at
him, he speaks for himself.

Uh, but, um, you know,
he's from...

Cleveland.

Cleveland! Ohio.

Yes, the rust belt, you know.

Good ol' Midwestern
boy with a good family.

And, uh, he moved to California
to pursue...

Go to school. Yeah.

Pursue an education.

Mm-hm. Yeah, so...

Really, so what school
did you go to?

What did you major in?

Oh, you know, excuse me,
I think I hear my...

my phone is ringing.

If you'll excuse
me, I'll be right back.

I'm so sorry, but, uh...

You know, I'm gonna let Chad
tell you guys the rest

because he's an actor and
it'll be a lot more entertaining

coming from him.

I'll be right back, sweetheart.

Lord have mercy,
what is with these phones?

When we were growing up,
dinnertime was for dinner.

You know, these days, you gotta
let the kids be kids.

They've got
all these apps, you know.

Apps? Yeah, apps on the phone.

They take up a lot of time.

That's why they're
always doing this.

Oh, is that right.

Those are apps that
they're doing that with.

It's like being in a room with
delinquent 15-year-olds.

Mm-hm.

You know what,
I'm gonna excuse myself.

I've lost my appetite.

Sweetheart...

Pass some more bread, please.

♪

What exactly happened
with the two of you at dinner?

Mom, it's nothing.

It's just Susan interrogating
my new boyfriend.

Well, you did ask her
rather a lot of questions.

Okay, well, excuse me
for taking an interest

in my big sister's new boyfriend

and who she's about
to get serious with.

He's not the only one.

Mom, what are you talking about?

Your father wants to keep
something to himself.

What the hell is...

Is it me or is she losing it?

Oh, something has
definitely gotten into her.

F.Y.I., you know the walls
in the house are pretty thin

Pretty sure I'm not gonna hear
anything from your room.

You know what,
Susan, why don't you just

forget about what's going
on in my room

and pay attention to
what's going on in yours.

Whatever.

Good night, sissy.

Good night.

Really, like
you cleaned nothing.

All right, all right,
we can do this, Chad.

Denzel said keep it honest,
keep the work honest.

Focus, focus, uh...

I love this girl.

'Sup, man. Hey, hey.
What's going on, man.

Aah... Beautiful night, right?

Yeah, yes it is.

Absolutely, yeah, yeah, man.

And beautiful
women, aren't they?

I'm sorry?

I mean, Kelly and Susan.

Oh, yeah... yeah.

Yeah, man, yeah,
we got lucky on that, man.

We did, cheers to that.
Cheers, cheers.

Yeah, I'll tell
you man, seriously

Susan, she's pretty much turned
my whole life around.

She's really my... my home base.

Home base?

Yeah, you know, home base.

My main one, my number one.

You know, all these
other chicks,

they really don't matter.

They don't really do anything
but take up time. But she is the main one.

If you know what I mean.

No, I don't know what you mean.

No, right, okay, all right.

You don't know what I mean?

Um-mm. Okay, you know what?

So now the gym teacher's gonna
act like he's stupid, right?

You know, there's no really easy way for me to
say this. So I'm just gonna come out and say it.

I'm gonna break this down

so it can forever and
consistently be broken.

Okay. All right.

I don't trust you.

I don't trust you not one bit.

There's something about you.

I just can't put
my finger on it, I don't.

Maybe I just don't
particularly care

for soap operas.

But I don't trust
you at all, you know?

You know what, I'm sorry, man.

I apologize.

If I did anything whatsoever
to give you the impression

that I give a damn about
what you think, I don't.

You don't even know me, guy.

I don't have to know you.

I know your type.

All right?

You know what,
be honest with me.

She told you about the
trust fund, right?

Come on. What?

It's two grown men, sitting
and enjoying a movie.

You can be
honest with me, be real.

She told you about the money.

What trust fund?

Wow, are you
gonna act stupid again?

You know what, your acting
really is bad.

I don't know what the hell
you're talking about, Carlton.

You serious? Yes.

Okay, all right, I...

Her father, he bought the patent
on the little small motor

inside the electric toothbrush.

Sold it a long time ago
and made millions.

I'm talking millions, each.

And they get it when
they turn 25.

I mean, Kelly, she
already got hers, but she's...

You know how she is.

She's like a cheapskate

and just tight little heifer...

Hey-hey-hey,
watch your mouth, man.

Duly noted.

But, uh, Susan on the other hand

she gets hers in about 27 days,

19 hours and six minutes.

But then again, who's counting.

Well, that's got
nothing to do with me, man.

That's not my money.

I don't care about that.

You better keep it that way.

I'm watching you.

I'm not worried about you.

Doctor Tooth. Hey.

Oh...

Boy seems all right,
I don't know.

I just don't wanna get
my hopes up, you know?

You mean Chad?

Yeah.

I mean, he's a nice enough guy

but I just don't understand

why she waited so
late to bring him home?

Well, I don't know.

Why do people keep secrets?

Well, I'm sure she knows
we just want her to be happy.

Mmm.

I guess that's just the way
people in our family are.

They're just strange.

Don't tell anybody
what they're up to.

Mm-hm.

Hm?

I said...

Some people in this family

don't tell others

what they're up to.

Mm-hm... Mm-hm.

David? Hm?

Yeah, no, you're
right, you're right.

I'll-I'll-I'll-I'll
talk with them.

I'll talk with them.

"Desperate Housewives."

Oh, I can't...

Look.

Oh, he's a lowdown, rotten,
scoundrel dog.

Cheating, lying.

Leave him.

Leave him.

Just a lot of talk, that's all.

♪

Okay. We can spend
some time alone.

Come on, Chad, don't start.

Ooh, wait, ice queen.

You don't know if anybody's out there in the hall
listening now. Participate, come on now, bring it back.

Ew, God.

Okay, um...

I'm so tired after last night!

I mean, you wore me
out, baby, six times!

Six? Yeah.

You wish.

In your dreams.

I'm gonna go, um, freshen up

and put on something naughty!
Yes.

Hot! Yeah.

That got me excited.

Can you believe
the nerve of her?

Like all of a sudden now
she wants to bring

her little actor/gym
teacher boyfriend around.

Um-hm.

Are you listening
to me, Carlton?

Hm? Carlton.

I'm sorry, what
I meant to say was

just give me some
time and I'll...

Baby, baby, wait, wait, wait.

Come back, come back, come back.

Look, I got this really
important text to finish.

As soon as I'm done, I...

we can talk until my ears bleed.

It just...

Okay, what are you doing?

We already talked
about where you're sleeping.

Get out of the bed, here you go.

I'm not sleeping
on a little bean bag.

Look, there's plenty of room
for you and I in here.

I'll stay on my side.

What will your father think
if he walks in here

and sees me
sleeping on the floor.

He will be devastated.

Okay, what if
your sister finds out?

Mm... Mm?

♪ Welcome, welcome ♪

Yeah.

Don't I at least get a
good night kiss or something?

I put on chap stick just for it.

If you want a kiss good night

go home to your mommy.

Man, you are cold.

Somebody really
must've burned you bad.

Good night.

What happened?

Typical story.

I got hurt, I got humiliated.

The end.

Wow, there's a world of hurt

in those few
words you just said.

I survived.

You survived, but apparently
you haven't gotten over it.

Okay, you know what Doctor Phil?

Really, I'm all right.

So please don't try to fix
me with your pop psychology.

Okay, okay. Thank you.

We can just go to sleep.

Let's... lay here and get cozy

and just go...

to sleep.

♪

You know what, Chad?

Actually, the couch is probably a much
better idea. No... So why don't you go...

No, you run-hop, please.

Can't wait for
this job to be over.

Damn.

Damn. I'm sorry, I'm a...

I'm here with Kelly, I'm Chad.

I must've fell asleep
watching "SportsCenter".

I'm Larissa.

I, uh... Chad.

Don't I know you?

No.

Okay, Dustin Hoffman,
I brought you a blanket.

Hey.

Oh, Larissa.

Hi, hey, long time.

Yeah, it has been, um...

When did you get here?

Oh, I just walked in.

I got the invite and...

I wouldn't miss it.

Okay, well, judging
from your attire

you just came from work?

Yes, girl, Vegas,
and the money is good.

Is it? Um-hm.

Hm, Okay.

Oh, um, Chad...

Oh, uh, yeah,
let's go to bed, baby.

Yeah.

I can't get enough of
that "SportsCenter."

Ha, ay, all right.

Nice meeting you, good night.

Good night.

Boo-boo, yes.

You tired or you gonna
stay up and play?

Right. Yeah.

You know, you too can have...

All right, sweetheart, can
you bless the table?

Ooh, for sure, for sure.

So Chad, did you
sleep well last night?

Um... thank you for
asking, yes, I did.

Dear Lord...

'Cause you know, it's like
sleeping in a convent with her.

Hey, did y'all miss me?

Oh, no, oh, no.

Momma. You surprised me.

Yeah, yeah, change of plans.

You know I had to
cancel two gigs, but, uh,

you now, I couldn't miss
this for the world.

I had no idea you'd be
showing up here, Russell.

It's... a great surprise.

Man, it hasn't even been a week
since I saw you in the street.

At the orthodontist convention

and yeah, we saw each other.

Yes, anybody want some juice?

And-and-and... Whoa, who this?

Wait, hold up, hold up.

Now Kelly, I know
you ain't actually

let a man back in
your life, did you, huh?

Uh, Chad, this
is my brother, Russell.

Okay, Chad.
Good to meet you, bro.

That's a nice grip, bro.

You got good hands.

But, look, I gotta let you in on a family
secret, yeah. Last guy that was with her...

Yeah, he had to
wait three years, bro.

Boy damn near went blind.

Well, uh, patience is a virtue.

Mm-hm.

And when you're done with Kelly,

you're gonna have more patience
and virtue than Mother Teresa.

Okay, Russell!

You got it good, here. Look.

You are looking a little skinny.

I think you need to eat.

Don't baby him, Harriet,
I've told you, please.

I see, uh, some things
haven't even changed.

You know, I'm just trying to
be perfect for you, pop.

Mm-hm.

You know I have
a tux in the car.

I know we getting
dressed later, right?

Yeah, the party's later this
evening, later this evening.

It's casual,
not sloppy, but casual.

Well, I'm just trying to not
disappoint you any more.

Trying to break that habit, pop.

Well, that'd be good,
that'd be good.

Morning.

Larissa.

We are going to hell
in a hand basket.

Sweetheart,
please bless the table.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, uh...

Lord Jesus. Put
that down, come on.

Lord, Lord... Lord, Lord.

Dear Heavenly Father. Yes.

Beautiful.

This is gonna be so much fun.

Whoa!

Ooh!

Nancy.

And on our anniversary.

You son...

Yeah, yeah, no, I'm ready.

I did the Blue Cross
claims projections.

Would you put some lotion on me?

I would but I'm in
the middle of something.

But... later.

Honey, Carlton?

Yeah, yeah... After I
finish the text.

I promise.

Be a sweetheart.

Why not.

Sure, wha, um...

Where do you want it?

Everywhere.

Ooh, ah, okay.

We'll start, uh,
we'll start up here...

The neck and the collarbone.

You certainly do have the touch.

You sure Kelly's not
gonna get upset about this?

Oh, stop, we're family.

Actually, get my legs first.

Um... okay.

You know, Kelly's
almost done over there.

You know, and I'm finished.

Yeah, it's a wrap.

Great, thank you so much.

No, I'm not scared,
they're nice.

They're yours...
You said I could.

You know, um, who thinks that
it's time to cool off?

Me, I'll... that's a great idea.

You wanna get the other leg.

You probably do
it so much better.

Have a seat.

So are you having
fun with Larissa?

Oh, she said you wouldn't mind.

I didn't want to be rude.

Y'all first cousins?

Yeah, we are.

She lived with us
for a little while.

For like, four years, when
my aunt got sick.

Haven't seen her in a long time.

She's kind of a nomad, you know.

Got in with
the wrong crowd and...

she really only comes around
when she needs money.

But, you know, when my aunt died

my mom felt guilty, so...

we take care of her.

So you're saying she's...
bad news?

No, I'm not saying that.

She's a good person
on the inside.

She's just a little wild.

Maybe a little wilder
than us teeth people

approve of.

Well, unlike most folks,
I try to get the whole story

before I pass judgment
on somebody.

You don't know my family so
stay out of it, please.

Wait a minute, hold on.

You put me in it.

Now you want me
to stay out of it.

See, unlike you I don't
hide behind my job.

I pay attention to people

and I know how
to live in the moment.

What is that supposed to mean?

Oh, oh, I get it.

See, one moment,
you're here with me

and the next, you're trying
to screw my cousin.

Screw your...

Screw your cous... what?

At least she took a minute or two to pay some
attention to meinstead of just ordering me around.

So the actor has
problems taking direction?

You know what, Chad?

Maybe this isn't gonna work out.

So how 'bout I
just give you your money

and you can go back
to your world.

Money.

That's what you think all this is about, Money. You
know, what, keep your little trust fund money.

I don't need it.

How do you know about that?

Yeah, well, of course.

He would tell you.

What... it doesn't matter, I don't care about
any of that. Look, I wake up and go to work

every single day,
and I love my job.

I make a difference in
children's lives, okay?

I took this gig because I wanted
to get closer to you.

I wanted you to
see me as serious.

I look at you and I see this

amazing and intelligent
and beautiful woman

and I'm so
disappointed to find out

that you're some selfish,
spoiled little brat.

Scared to show any
kind of emotion at all.

And you don't have to fire me.

I quit.

You what?

I quit, Q-U-I-Too, I'm done.

Chad.

I'm going for a run to clear
my head a little bit and them I'm leaving.

You can tell you little bourgey, bi-polar,
bicuspid family whatever the hell you want to.

I'm leaving, don't
forget to floss, bye.

Okay, honey, have a good run!

Yes, dear.

See you when you
get back! Uh-huh.

Hey, I think a run sounds
kind of good.

I'll be back.

Yeah, you need to let me help
you with that back.

Nah, I'm straight.

Unh-uh, no.

Allow me, I insist.

Look at all this.

Look, if Susan
sees us she gon' think

we doing something
wrong, so stop.

Look, Susan is on a run

and this ain't nothing
but a little bit of...

harmless fun.

You know, Larissa, when
I saw you down at the pool,

I was like, man...

A woman like that... have
a man like me.

Swiping all this
credit card, just...

Visa, MasterCard.
Mm, oh, really?

Yeah? Yeah, baby.

Oh, you wouldn't wanna do that.

I wouldn't wanna do that? No.

Try me.

Better hurry up.

Never had somebody's
orthodontist love, girl.

♪

Apparently somebody's in one of
these damn rooms already.

Yeah, girl, you know
about that dental love.

Mm.

Who's a man, baby?

You know you are. Yeah.

Ooh, that's my spot.

Ooh, gentle, gentle,
gentle, baby.

Hey, brother.

Oh, hey-hey-hey, Susan, um... I need
your opinion on this song I just wrote.

You don't allow people to
criticize your music

and you said that
music is subjective.

Aye, just this one time
I really need another ear.

Okay, let me just tell
Carlton I'm back.

No-no-no-no.

We need to do this right now, it
can't wait. Okay, but I wanna shower.

Don't worry, about it, man.

I just need your
ears not your body.

Hey, listen, I'm sorry

and I hope you know
that I didn't mean to be...

Dad...

I thought you were...

Yeah, well, uh, Chad.

I saw him leave.

He didn't look to happy.

Yeah, well, I think I...
screwed up.

I scared him away.

Yeah, well, you can be
kind of intense, you know?

Oh, yeah.

No kidding.

You really like this guy, huh?

Ahh, it's complicated.

Yeah, it's always complicated.

You know.

Especially with you, since, uh,

whatever it was
that happened with Jared.

Oh, please, uhh...
Whatever he did to you.

Please don't mention his name.

You carry it with
you all the time.

Well, dad, it's not
every day that you lose

the love of your life and your
best friend at the same time.

I know, I know.

Yeah...

Loss can be painful.

But it's part of life.

When we lost Ty...

Well...

I had to struggle through
that pain, grief, guilt.

I felt like I
didn't protect him enough.

That's why I was...

well, so overprotective of both
of you and your sister.

But then, day came when
I realized that, you know

the past doesn't
equal the future.

I had to let you and your sister

live your life.

And you did.

And the both of you...

the both of you turned out
to be such beautiful women.

And I'm so proud of both of you.

But let me tell you something,
let me tell you something.

Sometimes, you have
to find the courage

to work through the fear.

Now I'm not talking about

well, courage absent of fear.

I'm talking about moving
forward despite the fear, hm?

I love you.

Okay.

Now, um, I saw...

he was, uh...

headed down the trail
towards the point.

Okay.

Copy that. Good.

I'm off the clock.

What do you want?

I don't want you to go.

It's too late for that.

Chad.

I'm sorry.

Sorry or really sorry?

Really sorry?

I don't know, what's the difference? Well, regular sorry
means that you'd say whatever it took to get me to stay.

No, not that one.

Okay, really sorry would
be you standing here

and letting me say
everything that I wanna say

and not interrupting me at all.

That one sounds kind of rough.

I got a couple more miles to run.
Okay...

really sorry, really sorry.

Okay.

You're self-centered.

You're obsessed with your work

and you're judgmental.

Guilty as charged.

You brought me down here

to pretend to be your
boyfriend, to fool your family.

Now, don't get me wrong.

I'm working on the character,

this little role
you want me to play.

But if we're gonna fool people

into believing
that we're a couple,

two people that actually
care for each other

I'm not the person
that's gotta do the acting.

It's you.

So why were you all over
Larissa at the pool?

Because I wanted
to make you jealous.

That's childish.

This whole thing is childish.

Look, Kelly, why not be
honest with your family.

It's obvious they love
you to death.

Be honest with yourself.

You're so scared
to lose somebody

you won't let yourself
care about anybody.

Okay, you know what, this was
a really terrible idea.

I would have loved

to have been here with you
this weekend for real.

It would have been
nice to not have to act.

Yeah, well...

you won't have
to act much longer.

We'll tell everybody the truth
after the party

and be done with this.

Okay.

I'll meet you back at the house.

I got a couple more miles to run.
Mm-hm.

- Hello?
- Tianna, it's me.

I'm having an emotional
emergency. Can you talk?

I'm working, but, I'll put
you on speaker phone.

Go ahead.

He said I'm judgmental. Who?

Chad.

Well, you said I had a big butt,
that's judgmental.

He also said that I'm selfish
and I hide behind my work.

Here's my card.

You are my client, okay, got it?

Tianna!

Um, okay, you want me to lie

or do you want me to
tell you the truth in love.

Truth.

Okay, well, you are kind of self-centered, but
I love you. And, um, if you want my opinion

if you're gonna give him a shot

then give him a real shot.

Okay, my money's
waiting, so I gotta go.

But Tianna...

She gotta go, bye.

Okay, listen, this is my card.

Make sure...
If you push that button

one more time on that
elevator, okay?

That's my client.

Now when he hit you, right,

did you feel it in your back?

Your neck, okay.

Trust me, you felt it in your back and
your neck. Okay, now you can take him.

Call me, call me.

Man, I'm just...

I just, I don't
know what happened.

You know, I'm just like,
I just basically,

I'ma give up, you know?

Carlton, where
have you been, baby?

I've been looking for
you, Oh, my God.

Russell played me one of
the most beautiful songs

and I want you to hear it

because I wanna
play it at the party.

Honey-honey-honey,
look, no offense.

I've got so much bigger things to worry
about than that, okay? Oh, bigger than us?

Yes, it's bigger, than...
Yes, way bigger...

Not bigger than us.

Look, um...

I need your help, okay?

Tell me again exactly what
it is that you need me to do.

Look, first thing I need
you to do is trust me.

Can you please trust me?

I mean, don't you trust me?

Look, everything I do is for us.

All right, you gotta
believe... yes, for us.

All I want you to do,
it's real simple.

Maybe you can go up to your
father and ask him

if we can get
a hold of that money

a little earlier
than we planned.

You know, I know,
I know he probably

won't give us the whole
thing but

maybe he can give us maybe
two, three hundred grand?

But why do we need it now?

I want to let it
sit there and let it grow

the way that my sister did it.

She did it the right way.

She did the right... look,

when have you ever
listened to your sister?

I mean, this is us,
this is what we do.

We're a team, okay?

And I need you to trust me.

Please, tell me you trust me.

Okay, I'll ask him.

See, that's what I'm
talking about, come here.

And, you know, when you ask him

you know, maybe you can, like,

talk to him after
the party when uh,

he's got a little bit of
liquor in his system.

I'm... or anything close to it.

This way he's in a
good mood, okay?

Okay.

That's right, okay, all right.

Come on.

Now, come on,
am I in your heart?

Am I in your heart?

I got it right here,
tell me, come on.

Yes, Carlton,
you're still in my heart.

Thank you.

What... you know what,
give me a hug.

Show me love.

All right, Mmm...

I love you so much, all right?

Kiss.

Hey, ma...

Ahh...

So how long you
gonna stay this time?

Just a few days, you know,
if it's okay.

Oh, come on.

As long as I have breath,
you can be in this house.

This is your home.

Not if dad has
anything to do with it.

Your father loves you.

He just doesn't
agree with those ways.

You know he never wanted
you to leave.

He wanted you to stay here.

Yeah, to be a dentist.

Come on, ma.

You know I don't like
digging in people mouths.

You know, I was sick every day

in dental school, every day.

I know, I know.

But that's all your father knew and he wanted the
best for you. No, he choked the life out of me.

Listen, we lost our son.

And you are the only
son we have.

Now you don't understand that.

You need to understand that.

You will be the
head of this household,

this family.

Mom, I lost a brother.

I miss him.

I love him

but at some point
my life had to go on.

I was the one that had to leave
the house to chase my dreams.

Make my own money, hm?

And how much of your trust
fund do you have?

Why is he so hard on me?

Because he loves you.

Because he wants you
to learn responsibility.

He wants you to be a man.

Don't you understand,
sweetheart, we worry about you.

Whether or not you're losing
everything gambling,

or losing it on loose women,
wh*res, we just don't even know.

Be a man?

Are you kidding me?

He worked every day 24/7
trying to get

his dental practice together.

He didn't know any
of my teachers.

He didn't know anything I liked.

He didn't even take me to
a ball game, nothing.

Now if that's being a man

I want nothing to do with it.

He sacrificed everything
for you kids.

But you know what, you're
never gonna understand that

until you have some children
of your own.

I guess.

You should talk to him.

Look how blessed we are.

I don't wanna do this...
Listen...

Mmm...

You handsome thing.

I'm gonna go back and get ready

for this party
we're having, okay?

Mom, can I ask you a question?

Hm, yeah?

Is it good to keep a secret
to protect someone...

who you love?

Russell, you know
the truth is only safe place.

Okay.

I smell the whiskey on you mom.

You need to brush real good
before dad smells it.

You know, I can't tell you
how delighted I am

that you are all here today.

30 years ago today

I was lucky enough to marry

the most beautiful
woman in the world.

And she was crying then just
like she's crying now.

And then...

to be celebrating
the engagement of...

my lovely, lovely daughter,
Susan to Carlton

on the same day, well,

that's more than we could have
imagined, isn't it darling?

Yeah, so, so, oh, so...

I thought to make this occasion
especially memorable...

that I would have...

Come on,
come-come-come-come-come-come.

wh*re.

Yeah, wh*re.

This Jezebel.

Scarlet harlot woman.

What are you doing at my house?

What are you talking
about, Harriet?

Oh, I've seen you
creeping around,

just creeping
through, going to see her.

Peeking, I saw you.

Harriet, I-I-I was...

No-no-no-no,
I know what you were doing.

I know why you were
going over there.

'Cause she's nothing but a...

She's an artist.

Oh.. so what! An artist.

Show her Nancy.

Look, you know...

You know that the bible...
No, listen, please.

You know that the bible

says that you need to turn the other cheek. And
I am so sorry, if you could just forgive me

Well, maybe...
for being such a fool.

Go easy on the Jack Daniels
next time.

Harriet...

you've been drinking.

Mommy, this is my day.

Susan. What?

She is embarrassed enough.

Oh, really, Kelly?

Well, maybe this
day is really about you

and your fake little
boyfriend over here.

Oh, yeah, you're
an actor all right.

You're really good.

So pathetic that you
brought him here

just so you could show me up.

It's a scam, he doesn't
know anything about her.

I found your cheat
sheet, sister.

You're such a loser.

You're so pathetic that you had to pay
somebodyto act like they loved you?

Susan, how you gonna be
talking to Kelly like that.

You ain't got the right.

Yeah, worry about
your own skeletons.

Matter of fact, you need to be
worrying about your boy.

Yeah, sleeping with
Larissa, yeah, I've seen you.

Oh, what, oh, please. What?

Susan, that's absurd,
he's lying.

I would never, ever
stoop to that level.

Wait a minute,
stoop to that level?

You said, you were
gonna leave Susan

once you got
her trust fund money

so that you could pay off
those bookies.

And then we were
gonna run away together.

So that's a lie.

That's right, that's
when I did see you in Vegas

with some roughnecks and
they were loan sharks.

Now, you ain't gonna treat
my sister like that, man.

I'll k*ll you.
No, no, I got this son.

I got it.

Ah!

Now get out the water
and stand up.

Beverage?

To hell with this family.

To hell with you.

Oh, Lord.

Certainly been eventful.

Yeah, never a dull moment.

Well, guess this is, uh...

good-bye for awhile, huh?

Come on, Russell, you know
I don't like good-byes.

Let's just say till next time.

Well, I wanted to say that
I'm sorry for being a brat

and I hope that
you can forgive me.

And I hope that we
can stay in touch

'cause I really need
my family right now

especially my big sister.

That's what we are,
we're a family.

Mom...

Don't miss any more
meetings, okay?

Promise.

Trust me, she won't.

I love you guys.

Bye.

Love you.

Bye. Goodbye, sister

Drive carefully. We will.

Bye-bye. Good to meet you.

Take care, Chad.

Bye, Denzel.

You sure you wanna take a cab?

I mean, you can ride with me.

Nah, you're probably sick
and tired of me by now.

No, you can keep that.

Chad, please, I've put you
through enough, take the money.

Have you forgotten,
I teach high school students.

That little bit of
drama in there,

that's an everyday thing for me.

And I told you I didn't
do this job

for that check.

So...

I guess this is good-bye.

Nah...

Till next time.

Girl...

Have you seen this video?

My nieces love it.

It's huge right now.

It's huge.

Tianna, I should
have listened to you.

Who is that?

Yep, you should've listened.

Who are you and what
did you do with Kelly?

So...

Now that you're not acting

why are you here?

I found my motivation.

Love.

Okay, now, this is
my second intervention.

Y'all gonna have to start
paying me my hourly rate.

Ay, yi, yi.

So, was I worth the wait?

Every second.

♪ Welcome, welcome ♪