In Passing (2020)

[bunniefuu]

♪ Sick desire in your eyes ♪

♪ You wanted more
than you can take, yeah ♪

♪ Someone less cruel
will set you free ♪

♪ But I'm the one
who cast the spell ♪

♪ On you ♪

♪ Another man without a spine ♪

♪ I got you working overtime ♪

♪ I'm in your head
to cast a spell ♪

♪ Again ♪

Vincent. Vincent.

Sorry.

- Thanks, man.
- Come on.

Uh, where?

Remember the girl
I told you about?

The girl I met?

Oh, the theater thing.

Let's go.

What're you saying?

Here.

You don't even smoke.

I've always
liked these matches.

It reminds me of being a kid.

I... I said I can't hear you.

Yes, but you sound
very far away.

No, no.

I'm fine.

Really.

I, I didn't think
I could be so strong.

Your fault.

No.

No. We, we, we always agreed

we would be completely
honest with each other.

This way,

I have time
to get used to the idea...

...and to understand.

What...

What do you mean acting?

You're the one making it up?

Don't you know me
better than that?

No.

Not at all. I am...

I am absolutely calm.

You would hear it
in my voice anyway.

I said, "You would hear it
in my voice."

My voice doesn't sound
like I was trying to write

something, does it?

No.

I've just...

...made up my mind
to be brief and I will be.

No, let me.

No, but that...
that wasn't the same.

I know, my love.

But that wasn't the same thing.

You can...

You can live your whole life
waiting for a disaster,

expecting it.

It can still break you
when it comes.

Do you remember that Sunday?

Well, it was me
who wanted to come.

Me and you said
they didn't care.

Sir, are you lost?

Don't put your faith
in appearances, honey.

Hi.

Well done.

You were so beautiful.

- I didn't see you come in.
- Yeah, sorry.

Everything takes
a bit longer with two.

This is Vincent.

Do you guys know each other?

Honestly, I've never seen
her before in my life.

She gave you
a really weird look.

I don't know.
Maybe that's a French thing.

I mean...

No. I don't think so.

You're reading
way too much into it.

Not really.

I really think I'm quite...

- Hey, darling.
- Hey.

- Hi.
- Hey.

Anybody have a lighter?

Oh. Um...

Actually, I have one.

This is my ride. Let's go. Ooh!

I'm not...
I'm going to walk. Thanks.

Me too.

Okay, laters.

Which way are you walking?

Uh, down.

You?

- Up.
- Ah.

I have a train.

I thought
you might have company.

It's just me.

No, please help yourself.

Thank you.

What?

Do you want to make love?

I, um...

I got to go.

I'll see you a little later.

This is nice.

Huh?

I said, "This is nice."

Yeah.

- Hello.
- So...

obviously
it needs to be uplifting

and contemporary.

Absolutely needs
to be contemporary.

- Thank you.
- Mm-hmm.

I mean, look,
it's New Zealand tourism,

okay? People need to feel good.
They don't need to feel moody.

Do we, do we have anything
like that on file?

Something we can just
I don't know, tweak a bit.

Something we could tweak? Uh...

Well, I mean,
we've got that track

that we did for them last time.

I mean, they always liked that.

We could change the key. I mean,

you could go record
something now and...

And yeah, we'd have
something to run with.

Yeah, yeah. Perfect, perfect.

Look, for the amount
they're paying us,

I'm not selling myself twice.

You didn't exactly
sell it the first time.

Well, once would've been
too much.

Lucy, your brother's here.

- See ya, Lucy.
- Bye.

Bye, Lucy.

See you, Lucy. Bye.

You're late.

No, I'm not.

Okay, maybe a little,
but I'll make it up to you.

Deal?

Deal.

Here.

Did you get your togs?

Yup.

Keep going.

Touch your hand
but keep the arm stretched.

And keep going.

Kick, kick, kick, kick.

Bigger kicks.

All the way over.

Nice.

Keep kicking. Keep kicking.

Keep going.

All right, keep going.

Just feet. Just do feet.

And kick.

Kick. Nice.

She's a good little swimmer.

- Yeah.
- Yeah, she's great.

Really.

She's one of my favorites.

She's always
so desperate to impress you.

Oh... I don't know.

I think
it's the other way around.

Come on!

- Uh, what do you say?
- Bye.

Here.

These candles aren't really doing anything.

These musicians are
so temperamental or sentimental.

I always
get those two confused.

Maybe it's both.

Here.

I have family
in the north of France.

I'm coldblooded.

Uh, it's okay. I'm going
to get one from inside.

I didn't know you played.

Is that a joke?

My mother used to play...

...but I never learned.

When I was young,
I always wanted to,

but my house was already
full of people who did, so...

I guess no one thought
there was any point.

And then, one of my parents...

Anyway, the piano disappeared.

I can smoke?

Um, by the window.

Here.

You look like a...

...conductor sitting in an
orchestra with their arms folded.

I just can't sleep.

The others, they told me.

I figured they would.

I didn't mean...

- Sorry. Sometimes with the language, I...
- Yeah.

You know,
I always thought of love as...

...you know, something concrete.

And once you had it, you had it.

I don't know.

The problem, I think...

...is that it's...

...easy to confuse love
with a sort of...

...intense, passing affection.

Maybe I'm cynical, but...

...I am suspicious
of these people

who say they have
just fallen in love,

you know?

They have probably just...

...tripped up on tenderness.

I'm going to get some sleep.

You should too.

Lilly, want anything?

Do I...?

Uh, no. Thanks.

Cool. See you soon.

It's just the cheap stuff.

What's with your TV?

It was here when I moved in.

Does it still work?

Sometimes.

It's a little bit fuzzy.

You still have DVDs.

Persona.

Bergman.

So serious.

Ah, Bertolucci.

I love him.

And this,

it's one of my favorites really.

Everyone in my family
thought it was so trashy,

but it's the best.

Liv Tyler, Jeremy Irons.

Tuscany.

Don't.

Okay.

I don't, um... I don't get it.

A girl can't protect her body?

Protect?

It's not like that
and you know it.

Lilly.

I just got my period.

Sure. Sorry.

I read it all wrong.

But I really do have my period.

Well, even if you do,
that's not the reason.

We just bumped into Tim and
they're playing a gig at Whammy.

Um, I'm pretty tired.

Me too. I was just about to go.

Whatever.

Your loss.

Are you sure?

Yeah.

Are you going to keep them?

I'm getting a little cold.

Vincent.

I don't mind if you bleed on me.

I do.

I want you.

All of you.

I need all of you.

You can't have all of me.

Vincent.

I love you.

I love you like...

...like a brother.

What does that mean?

I don't know.

Vincent?

I thought you left.

Staying there all morning?

I love this the most.

Watching someone get dressed.

It's more beautiful than
watching someone get undressed.

It's more revealing.

I don't know.

I think people are
mostly interested

in taking off
each other's clothes.

Are they?

I'm not so sure.

You know, when,
when I look in the mirror,

I see a... a creature of...

...desire and vanity.

I don't think we get any
pleasure from the final result.

You know?

There is only one final result.

You can't help
but feel that everything...

That everything
in between is insufficient.

Yes and no.

Don't be so quick to judge.

It's not easy to find affection.

Some people just don't.

I think you
like to look at things

because that...

...distance makes it feel safe.

Desire isn't really something
you choose to control.

You have to be careful...

Ownership doesn't follow gaze.

Things...

...exist in themselves.

Hmm?

Just because you desire
something doesn't make it yours.

I guess the only thing we really own is...
dissatisfaction.

Dissatisfaction and distance.

Up close, things always f...
falter.

Do they?

Do they?

Really?

No.

Not with you.

C'mon.
Close your eyes.

Hey, Lucy.

Uh, this is Lilly.

She's going to keep you company
tonight if that's okay.

More like you'll
be keeping me company.

Only if I get
to sit in the front.

Of course.

You can't... Lucy!

- You, you are a cheeky monkey, huh?
- Ooh!

Gimme your seatbelt.

Not going anywhere?

And my final one for the night

goes out to two special ladies.

♪ The traffic roared
all around me ♪

♪ Deafening ♪

♪ Tall and slender ♪

♪ In the morning ♪

♪ No more green ♪

♪ Lady pass ♪

♪ With a jeweled hand ♪

♪ And gathered up
her black-embroidered hem ♪

♪ Stately and light ♪

♪ Like a statue walking ♪

♪ Trembling ♪

♪ Like a fool
that drank for nights ♪

♪ As ashen as the clouds ♪

♪ Oh, they see ♪

♪ A grace that beckons
and a joy that kills ♪

♪ Lightning in darkness ♪

♪ A fugitive ♪

♪ That gave me life ♪

♪ But where is light? ♪

♪ Ocean well ♪

♪ Beyond ♪

♪ Eternity ♪

I'm bored.

Why don't you call the house

and tell them
you're staying with us tonight?

Ah, you got to go up
the driveway for reception.

- Fine.
- "Fine."

Do you like her?

Do you think she's nice? Yeah?

- Yeah.
- Yeah?

'Kay, good.

Probably nicer than me, huh?

Mm.

"Mm," what?

- I don't know.
- You don't know?

Not as nice as you.

You're the nicest.

All right.

Ready? Well... Oh!

- Is that enough for you?
- Maybe I take your bowl.

Why did we choose
a tricky way to do it?

Thank you.

Hmm?

Oui.

Yes.

And some for you. Oh, no, no.

Got to wait.

So you happy you're staying?

How happy?

Oh, no, you're getting it
all in your hair.

Stop getting it in your hair.

Oh, no, we made it worse.

Do you want
to watch a movie later?

- Mm-hmm.
- Yeah? What do you want to watch?

Do you want to watch
a French movie maybe?

Or probably too boring,
make you sleepy.

- Mm.
- Yeah?

Do you like, uh,
princess movies?

Mm. Not really.

Mm-hmm. They are boring.

- Yeah.
- Ah...

You like action movies, right?

- Yeah.
- Yeah?

Yeah.

What is a good action movie?

- Harry Potter.
- Harry Potter?

- Yeah.
- Is that an action...?

No, I think
that's a documentary.

- It's action.
- And there was this kid, you know.

It's, it's real, right?

Wizards are real?

- Mm-hmm.
- Aren't you Hagrid?

You look like Hagrid.

A little bit, right?

Who would he be?

- Don't say it.
- Voldemort.

I don't want to be Voldemort.
I don't want to be Voldemort.

No, you're both
Hermione combined

- with your know-it-allness.
- Do you want to hear a joke?

Yes, please.

What do you call
a deer with no eyes?

I don't know.

No idea.

That's good.
The French are funny, huh?

- Yeah.
- Do you know any bad jokes?

- Me? All my jokes are bad.
- Mm-hmm.

I've... Yeah, exactly.

- Oh, well, thank you.
- Where are they?

What? I didn't say anything.

Do you think I can
fit all of this in my mouth?

Oh, my God.

She actually did it.

To Lilly.

Cheers.

What?

Lucy, wait up!

She'll be fine.

Let her run.

We should talk.

Nope.

Come here.

- You okay?
- Mm-hmm.

I... I think I ate
too fast.

It's nice here with you.

Can we go in the kayak now?

Not now. I have
to digest a little, 'kay?

Vincent.

Hey.

Sometimes you have
to be patient, okay?

I can take her out if you want.

No, I'll do it. Just not now.

I feel like it.

I, I've been reading
since lunch.

And what about your tummy?

It's gone.

Come on.

Lucy?

Lucy.

Can you put this on?

Ooh.

There you go.

It's not fair.

There's nothing I can do.

- Vincent?
- Please, please, please.

I'll do it.

But if I do...

...I'll hate you.

Where's Lucy?

Lucy?

Lucy!

Lucy!

Forgive me.

I know this scene is unbearable

and you've been very patient.

Please understand
that I am in agony.

This fragile
connection between us

is the last thing that links us.

Do you know
what I did last night?

I took my phone to bed with me.

No. No, in bed with me.

Yes.

And then I fell asleep and
I dreamt all kinds of things.

I imagined that
you gave me a ring...

...but it became a different
and dangerous kind of ring.

A ring around my neck.

One that strangled me.

A boxing ring
I couldn't get out of.

And then I was
at the bottom of the sea.

Yes, but...

...it looked a lot
like the room we shared.

And... I was connected
to you by a tube of air and...

...I was begging you
not to cut it.

But... you know
how silly dreams are

when you try...
when you try to explain them.

But... at the time,
they are so real...

...and so frightening.

Hey, Lilly, final act in five.

Here.

Thank you.

You know, everyone says that
you're the best resident actress

we've ever had here.

And a year
just goes past so fast.

There's really no way
to extend your visa?

I can do the rest. Thank you.

You should, you should
have told me you were coming.

No, I get it. We're over.

Vincent...

...we're not over.

I, I don't know
how I can make you understand.

You have this one idea
of what love is.

It's not as concrete as that.
It's not...

Lilly, 30 seconds.

I can't see
the face I thought I had.

I like looking in the mirror
with my eyes closed.

Wait for me after, please?

We can talk properly.

I can't imagine how hard

these past few months
have been for you but...

...you can't just shut yourself
off from the world like this.

Yes.

I was just trying to explain it.

If you had been lying
to me out of kindness,

I would only be all
the more fonder of you.

Yes.

Of course.

My love, you're crazy.

Mon amour.

Do you ever have that feeling
of being so close together

and then suddenly there are
cellars and underground passages

and a whole town
rises up between you?

Yeah... Yes.

I know we must,
but I don't have the courage.

Either that or we can sit here

for ever and ever
and slowly starve.

In 100 years,
people will find our bones

with a strange metal object
gripped tightly in our hands.

No. No, please.

Please if you go there, don't go to
the same hotel where we used to go.

Because things I,
I can't imagine don't exist.

They exist
in a sort of vague way

that hurts less.

Do you understand?

I love you.

There. Well, until...

I was going to say
until tomorrow.

Stupid habit.

I doubt it, but you never know.

My darling,
my beautiful darling.

Yes.

Yes, I'm brave.

Be quick.

Hang up.

Quick, break it off.

I love you.

I love you.

I love you.

Are these yours?

How come I've never known
about this?

They're, they're beautiful.

They're just sketches.

Toenail clippings
of my thoughts.

No, don't, don't diminish them.

They're good.

And all these little fragments
of yours are important.

Small breaths
of expression there,

then betray the hand
that made them.

I nearly didn't recognize you.

Terrible, I know.

Family dinner and all that.

You got to go home
at some point,

even if just to renew
your sense of horror.

I thought you were staying out
at the house for the week.

I was.

I just suddenly felt the urge
to be around people again and...

...and feel the rhythms of life.

But I was wrong.

I'm always disappointed.

It's complicated, you know?

With Lilly...

...and with you.

It's not easy.

No matter how hard you try,
you can't keep

your love
and lusting to the same.

It'd be great to be excused from
lugging these bodies around.

These mounds of flesh.

Burden of being
is already enough.

I like that.

You know and...

I had all these dreams
and desires of...

...of what my life would be like

with her and...

It's not even
the things I've lost.

It's... all the things I thought
I'd have and now I won't.

No, I imagined us married.

I just feel sad.

Come here.

Close your eyes.

Close your eyes.

You never waited.

Yeah, I didn't think
you actually wanted me to.

Do you want to...

...go somewhere?

You know, you should quit.

Maybe, but it gives me
so much pleasure.

Have you been practicing?

Obviously not.

You know, I hate the comfortability
this country inspires.

There's like a flat-line
contentment of the world.

All this space...

...and distance,
it's suffocating.

You know, I... I feel it
pressing on me from all sides.

Vincent,

leave.

You're becoming
bitter and confused.

Maybe when you leave,
you'll realize the world it...

...it isn't quite
what you imagine.

You know,
I read somewhere that...

...the pleasure we get from the
sun rising and falling isn't...

...isn't just
an emotional thing.

It's the moment where our pupils
are most relaxed.

Not strained
by too much light or...

...too much dark, just...

...happy equilibrium.

There's not such a big gap

between the emotional
and the physical.

People think there is,
but there isn't.

It's all connected.

Everything is connected.

Can we stop here for a minute?

Can I wear your shirt?

It's only a top.

Hey, it's, um...

It's me.

I guess you've already
turned off your phone.

I wanted to call to say
something else, but I... Um...

I don't know.

I lost my words.

I wanted to just call and say
something simple, you know?

Something I could...

I think you'll always be
the person I loved most.

And that room was shared,
space we passed through.

Your tenderness, your warmth.

In your eyes, I'll always see
myself as a ridiculous man.

Lonely.

Desperate to be
in love with love.

I guess, I just...

I miss you.

But through the thin veil
of time, you remain vivid.

And all of my pain
will never tarnish that or...

...will cause you to fade away.

Domestic or international?

International.

Ah, so you're leaving
the island.

I'm leaving the womb.

Thank you.

You're welcome.

Hey, no bags?

Hello, my little dove.

Sorry I just got
your message now.

I've been trying
to call you back,

but it keeps going
to your answering machine.

I hope you know that...

...I love you too.

You were
the first man I ever loved

and you'll probably be the last.

I wish we had more time but...

...I guess that's life.

For a moment, we were happy.

And now...

...when it's silent...

...I think of you.