01x13 - The Drive - In

[bunniefuu]

Hey, Fred, I'm getting the hang of this. Watch.

That's pretty good flipping, pal. Keep up the good work.

Hey, now watch this. A double somersault flip-over.

[thud]

Ooh, I'm sorry, Fred.

Watch it, fathead.

[horn honking]

[blows whistle]

[siren wailing]

[blows whistle]

Okay, okay, where is it, Wilma?

Where is what, Fred? My dinner.

When I sit down, I want it and me to hit the wire in a photo finish.

I'll photo-finish you, Fred, if you don't wash those hands before you sit down at the table.

And while you're at it, wash your face too.

All right, all right, you just get my dinner ready.

Oh, this isn't home anymore.

It's a waterhole where the animals come to devour their k*ll.

[gurgling and grunting]

[Fred groans] "Wash your hands.

Wash your face. Wash behind your ears. Put it back."

Now that you've eaten, Fred, and you're in a, ha, good mood, what's troubling you?

Oh, it's my job.

I'm sick and tired of it.

Well, who isn't tired of their job? Do you think I like my setup?

Cooking, cleaning, washing all day. Never get to go anywhere.

Why, the last time we went out together was when the drapes caught on fire.

Oh, honey.

I'm sorry, Wilma. I know you work hard.

I admit you deserve better.

And someday, I'm going to see to it that you get what you deserve.

Oh, really, Fred, I'm not complaining.

I married you for better or for worse and some day that better will come along.

Now, why don't you forget it and go visit Barney.

Okay, dear, I will.

Hi, Fred, come in. Hi, Betty. Is Barney home?

I'm in the den, Fred, reading the papers.

Checking on the rock market, Barney? [laughs]

Oh, I was just glancing through the want-ad section.

Are you looking for a job?

Well, I am getting tired of the rut I'm in.

No kidding? You too?

What do you mean, Fred? I'll tell you something, Barney.

As long as we work for someone else, we'll stay in a rut.

The only way to make it is to have our own business.

Well, sure, but what do we know about running business?

Are you kidding? We've got the most important asset right now.

Brains. We got it up here.

Granted. But what business can we get into?

Not what business, but which business are we best suited for?

Now, offhand, Barney, what would you say I do best?

That's easy, Fred. You can stow away more food than anybody I know.

That's it. That's it. You hit the nail on the head.

What did I say? What did I say, Fred, what?

Enough to give me a brilliant idea.

Barney, you and me are going into the restaurant business.

The restaurant business...?

What's the matter with you? You don't want the girls to know about it yet.

Where are we going, Fred? To get a restaurant, that's where.

But we don't know nothing about restaurants.

You said yourself, I know food.

Oh, sure. And I can tell time, but I can't make a watch.

But suppose we fail, Fred?

Fail? Fail? That is negative thinking again, Barney.

You've got to think positively. You get it? Positively.

Right, Fred. We will positively fail.

What a partner.

So you want to go in business for yourself?

Yes, sir. Hmm.

Sure you won't settle for a paper route?

Well, we had a restaurant in mind.

Yeah, have you got one for sale?

Well, yeah, but you'd be surprised how many places insist on some cash changing hands.

Complicates it when you two are broke.

Say, wait a minute. This might be it.

A drive-in restaurant.

No cash, no down payment, just notes to sign.

We'll take it. We'll take it. Where do we sign?

Oh, no, no, no, just a minute, Fred. Let's not be hasty.

Tell us a little about it.

Well, I'll be perfectly honest. The place failed once.

But only because the owner lacked personality.

Now, you two are different.

The minute you walked in, I said to myself:

"Those boys are full of personality."

Um... Could we see it first?

[agent] Say, that little partner of yours is no fool.

He's all business.

What a perfect combination. One, all personality.

Sheeh. [agent] And the other, all business.

[giggles]

Tell you what, we'll go see it right now.

You guys wait outside for a minute while I make an urgent business call.

[agent] Hello, Al? [Al] Yes?

Hey, I got a couple of live ones for your drive-in.

Yeah. Yeah, put some of your used cars around it.

Yeah, we're coming out right away.

[agent laughing]

Well, there she is, boys. Notice the cars?

And that's with the place closed.

Imagine what will happen when you open up.

Boy! Oh, boy!

Well, partner, we got the business. Yeah, I'm sure we did.

We got lots to do, Barney-boy.

Buy food, hire waitresses, get ready for the grand opening.

Yeah, but we'd better not tell Wilma and Betty about this for a while, Fred.

Oh, you're right, Barney.

Some wives don't understand a guy quitting his job.

Right, that's the kind I got. Me too. We'll keep our mouths shut.

Guess what, Gwendolyn? The Drive Inn is opening up again.

Oh, goody. Maybe we can get our old jobs back again.

My boyfriend, Eddie, gave me the new owner's telephone number.

A guy named Fred.

Well, let's call him up right away and let him know the world's best car hops are available.

[rings]

Hello? Who?

Yes, there's a Fred living here, but he isn't home right now.

We heard he's going to need a couple of girls.

Who, Fred? [Daisy] Uh-huh.

I want to tell him my friend and I are a couple of live wires.

I'm sure you are.

Thanks, honey. We'll call him back later.

Live wires, huh?

When I get through with Fred, there'll be no place for a live wire to hook on to.

[scatting]

Hi, Wilma, baby. Lover-boy is home. [door closes]

Fred. I've got something to discuss with you.

Not now, honey. I've got a couple of important things on my mind.

That's exactly what I want to discuss.

Okay, but I deny all charges till I know what they are. [laughs]

[phone rings]

[Fred] It's your dime. Start talking.

Yes. Uh-huh-huh.

Yeah, this is Fred. A couple of live what?

A couple of live wires.

Me and Gwendolyn are the best drive-in waitresses in town.

[stammering]

Oh, boy.

He said, "Oh, boy."

Good. Keep talking.

[stammering]

Look here, Charlie, I don't want any raffle tickets.

Besides, what would I do with a big dinosaur if I won?

I don't understand him. You talk to him, Gwendolyn.

Who's this now? Oh.

[stammering]

Irving.

No. No, Irv, I just explained it all to Charlie.

Yeah.

Well, goodbye.

He hung up. It must've been a bad connection.

Let's go see him, personal-like.

Who was that, Fred?

Huh? Oh, you mean on the phone?

Yes, I mean on the phone.

Oh. Oh, uh, that was Charlie and Irving.

Was it two girls that called?

Girls? Girls? Yes, girls.

You know, they wear dresses, long hair, perfume.

You must've noticed them. There are lots of them around.

Now, look here, Wilma. I don't know what girls you're talking about, and that's the truth.

By the way, Barney, I had a couple of strange phone calls today.

Yeah? First there was a butcher.

He wanted to know if you were interested in two tons of dinosaur burgers.

And then some man named Eddie called.

He said two girls are interested in seeing you.

What girls, Barney?

Oh, that's crazy. What girls would be interested in me?

Well, I'm interested in you. What does that make me, chopped liver?

Honest, Betty. I don't know what it's all about.

It sounds mighty suspicious to me.

Oh, come on, Fred, stop sulking.

I'm sorry I mistook Charlie and Irving for girls.

Oh... It's the principle of the thing.

If we don't trust each other, we got nothing.

I do trust you, Fred. And I won't mention it again.

[doorbell rings]

That must be Barney. Maybe he can get you out of this mood.

[grumbling]

Hello, honey. Is Fred in?

We're the girls who called earlier, remember?

Who is it, Wilma? [Wilma] It's Charlie and Irving.

And they've got their raffle tickets with them.

Come in, fellas.

♪ Here we come on the run With a burger on a bun ♪

♪ And a dab of coleslaw on the side ♪

♪ Oh, your taste we will tickle With a cold dill pickle ♪

♪ And all of our potatoes are French-fried, fried, fried ♪

♪ Our burgers can't be beat 'Cause we grind our own meat ♪

♪ Grind, grind, grind, grind, grind ♪

♪ When you drive away ♪

♪ A tip upon our tray ♪

♪ We hope to find, find, find, find, find ♪

♪ We hope to find, find, find, find, find ♪

[stammering]

Ay-yi-yi.

Yeah, I know. You never saw them before in your life.

[girls] ♪ Here we come on the run With a burger on a bun ♪ They're at Barney's.

Come on, Fred.

We are going to get to the bottom of this.

[girls] ♪ And all of our potatoes are French-fried, fried, fried ♪

♪ Our burgers can't be beat 'Cause we grind our own meat ♪

♪ Grind, grind, grind, grind, grind ♪

♪ When you drive away ♪

♪ A tip upon our tray ♪

♪ We hope to find, find, find, find, find ♪

♪ We hope to find, find, find, find, find ♪

Barney-boy, you are a genius.

You sure got us out of a jam last night.

Convincing our wives we were auditioning waitresses for our annual club dinner will go down in history with the invention of the bow and arrow.

It was really nothing. I just happened to think of it.

With brains like that, Barney-boy, our business can't miss.

I feel so ashamed about last night, Betty.

Jumping to conclusions about those girls was unfair.

Yeah, Fred and Barney are real good guys.

Never miss a day's work, bring home their paychecks regularly.

You're right. I think I'll call Fred and apologize again.

Why don't you? He'd like that. I will.

Hello, may I speak to Fred Flintstone, please?

He what?

When?

I see.

Well, thank you.

What did the old darling do, Wilma?

The old darling, steady Freddie, has quit his job.

What?

I'll call Barney. He'll know what happened.

Hello, may I speak to Barney Rubble, please?

Huh? Are you sure?

Well, thank you.

Barney has quit his job too.

[butcher] Are you kidding? Two pounds of dinosaur meat for burgers?

The minimum order is two tons. Two tons?

Of course. You're in the restaurant business now.

And to get it for a price, you got to take three tons of parsley.

Three tons of parsley? What do we do with it?

[butcher] What every restaurant does:

You put some parsley on each order so the customers can throw it away.

What's the matter with you guys? It's been going on for years.

Well, okay, we'll take two tons of dinosaur meat.

Yeah, and three tons of parsley to throw away.

[Daisy] Mr. Flintstone! Yoo-hoo!

♪ Here we come on the run With a burger on a bun ♪

♪ And a dab of coleslaw on the side ♪

♪ Oh, your taste we will tickle With a cold dill pickle ♪

♪ And all of our potatoes Are French-fried, fried, fried ♪

♪ Our burgers can't be beat 'Cause we grind our own meat ♪

♪ Grind, grind, grind, grind, grind ♪ Oh, no! Oh, no!

[pool balls clacking]

They're not in the pool hall, Betty. Let's try the bowling alley.

I'm telling you, when I find that Barney he's sure gonna have a lot of explaining to do.

Hey, Fred, I'm getting the hang of this. Watch.

That's pretty good flipping, pal. Keep up the good work.

Hey, now watch this. A double somersault flip-over.

[thud]

Ooh. I'm sorry, Fred.

Watch it, fathead.

[bowling pins clattering]

Well, they're not in here. Let's try the ball park next.

One order of barbecued ribs, Fred.

Right. One order of ribs, Barney. [Barney] Right.

Boy, here come the ribs. Don't they look delicious?

Barbecued ribs coming up.

[Gwen] Will there be anything else, sir? Yeah, two cups of coffee.

Two cups of coffee, Fred.

And, miss, bring the ketchup too.

One fried-egg sand.

One fried-egg sand.

One fried-egg sand.

[humming]

Hmm? Barney, where is the hotcakes?

They keep disappearing.

Oh, give me that thing. Hotcakes just don't disappear.

See what I mean? Quiet, you bonehead.

There's a bird up there knocking off our hotcakes.

What are you going to do? [Fred] Use this rock.

It's his puny bird brain against mine.

Watch this, Barn. [grunts]

They'll call that bird "Rock Bottom" from now on.

I give up, Betty. We've looked everywhere.

Do you suppose they left town?

It's possible. Fred is so sensitive.

And I made all those false accusations.

You're right. And Barney must've gone with him.

Poor Fred. He's so used to home-cooking too.

Which reminds me, we haven't had a thing to eat all day.

How about grabbing a sandwich? Okay.

There's a drive-in on the next corner.

[horn honking] Get that, will you, Gwen?

My feet are k*lling me.

Sure, Daisy.

What will it be, ladies?

Just a coconut shake for me. And I'll have some pterodactyl tea.

A shake and tea.

Betty, look at our waitress. Hmm?

It's Charlie.

[Wilma] And there's Irving.

Wilma, under the chef's hat.

Anyone you know?

Fred! And look who's making the shake.

One coconut shake coming up.

It's Barney.

Here's your order, girls. Who had the coconut shake?

Charlie, I mean, miss, do you remember us?

Oh, yeah, sure. You're the wives of the new owners.

That's right. And I wonder if you'd do us a favor.

[Gwen] Sure.

We'd like to borrow your uniforms to play a joke on our husbands.

Certainly. In fact, you can have them.

Daisy and I want to get into something else like the guided missiles and stuff.

We hear they're going places.

[scatting]

One hamburger, and hold the onions, lover-boy.

Hold the onions? [chuckles]

I'd rather hold a tomato. Do you get it? Tomato?

[Fred laughs]

Draw one black, sweetie. One black, coming up.

Say, did you hear about the monkey that played piano at parties?

No, I didn't. [Barney laughs]

This will k*ll you. His tail fell in this lady's coffee and she says:

"Do you know your tail is in my coffee?"

And the monkey says, "No, but if you whistle it, I'll try to play it."

You get it? [laughing]

Oh, boy, nothing.

You gals, no sense of humor. I get the same reaction at home from my wife.

[gulps]

I got a million of them, a million of them.

[stuttering]

What's the matter, Barney? Cat got your tongue?

[stuttering]

[Fred] No, it's still there.

[stuttering]

What do you suppose he's trying to say, Wilma?

Wilma!

[Fred and Barney stuttering]

You think the boys will get their jobs back, Wilma?

We'll know in a little while. Fred said he'd call as soon as he found out.

[phone rings]

That's Fred. Keep your fingers crossed, Betty.

Hello? Yes, Fred, it's me.

You did? And what about Barney?

He did? Oh, that's wonderful.

They got their jobs back, Betty.

Oh, that's a relief.

Fred, let's celebrate tonight and all go out to dinner.

I'll make the reservations. Hurry home, dear.

[instrumental blues music playing inside]

I gotta admit it, you girls are real good sports not being sore about that you-know-what.

Well, we all make mistakes, Fred.

You got your job back, that's the important thing.

And after all, you managed to get rid of the you-know-what with only a 50 percent loss.

Will you excuse us, Fred?

Betty and I are going to nose our powder.

Sure, honey. Take your time.

[Barney] Yeah, and when you get back, we'll have a little dance.

Barney-boy, there go two of the good ones.

You said it, Fred.

Some wives would keep hammering and yammering at you just because you made a little mistake.

Yeah, try to make you feel small.

Right. But not Wilma and Betty. They haven't even mentioned the subject.

They've dismissed it from their minds.

[drum rolling]

Ladies and gentlemen, the Rockadero Club brings you a special attraction tonight.

A little number dedicated to the gentlemen at table six:

Fred Flintstone and Barney Rubble.

[diners applauding]

Wilma? Betty?

[upbeat music playing]

♪ Here we come on the run With a burger on a bun ♪

♪ And a dab of coleslaw on the side ♪

♪ Oh, your taste we will tickle With a cold dill pickle ♪

♪ And all of our potatoes Are French-fried, fried, fried ♪

♪ Our burgers can't be beat 'Cause we grind our own meat ♪

♪ Grind, grind, grind, grind, grind ♪

♪ Fred Flintstone and Barney Rubble ♪

♪ Are to blame for all our trouble ♪

♪ And if they think that we'll forget ♪

♪ They're out of their mind, Mind, mind, mind, mind ♪

[diners applauding and whistling]

[announcer] Thank you, girls, thank you.

That was Mrs. Flintstone and Mrs. Rubble, folks.

They call themselves "Charlie and Irving."

Well, like you said, Barney, some wives would try to make a guy feel small.

Yeah, ain't it the truth.

[yawns]

Wilma!

Wilma!

Come on, Wilma, open this door!

Wilma!