02x09 - I Will Tell of All Your Deeds

Episode transcripts for the TV show "The Righteous Gemstones". Aired: : August 18, 2019 –; present.
Series follows a famous yet dysfunctional family of televangelists.
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02x09 - I Will Tell of All Your Deeds

Post by bunniefuu »



You've been a real
disappointment, I have to say.

Useless, honestly.

I told you I'd give
you valuable information

on the Butterfields, and I did, right?

I kept my word.

Our deal was, you provide me with dirt

on all your fellow ministers.

I thought you wanted to
get rid of the competition,

take over the world.
What happened, Lyle?

I came to f*cking
South Carolina for this.

I'm sorry, but
circumstances have changed.

You can't do the Gemstones.

Jesse has pledged to
invest heavily in my resort.

I got a lot riding on this deal,

so now you're actually hurting me.

You say that as if I care.

The Gemstones are the
biggest name in the business.

It's the scalp I want.
It's the scalp I need.

You stop cooperating with
me, and I'll f*cking out you,

and all your minister friends
will know that you're the rat.

And betray your source?

That's unethical journalism, man.

I helped you.

Well, you better keep helping me

'cause if you don't, f*cking
do a story on you next.

I hear you have a strange relationship

with some of the boys in your orphanage.

f*ck, man! You know that?

Shit. Fine!

You want dirt? I got dirt.


There are four pastors in my church

who skim money to build new houses

with pools.

I can give you their names.



You promised me Eli,

not some nobodies from your church.

You know what, I'm turning
my sights on you now.

Yep. Okay?

So why don't you be a good boy
and f*ck off out of my Airbnb?

That ain't fair!

You're surprised there's
no honor amongst thieves?

I am not a thief. I'm a minister.



Shit. Shit.


It's time. Get the g*n. Let's go.

Pastor Lissons,

you said we were just gonna scare them.

Somehow, the man knows
how y'all got your houses.

You want your wife to find out, Chet?

You want that big choir promotion, Doug?

Or to finally be head deacon, Shane?

Yeah, that's what I thought.
Brad, give me the g*n.

I didn't bring g*n, sir.

Grenades? You brought grenades?

I did some YouTube research, sir.

g*n leave evidence.

With a grenade, all the evidence
gets bl*wn up in the blast.

Well, I ain't trying to blow up

the whole damn neighborhood, man.

It's not like that.

YouTube said all you gotta
do is pull the pin out...

No, it won't blow unless I drop it.

Oh, shit. Damn it, man.

The hell's wrong with you?

- No!
- Ahh!



Oh, it's like that.

These f*ck want a piece of me?

- Oh, my f*cking Lord.
- Ahh!

- Oh. Oh, geez.

Those are the concussion grenades.


I said, the cylinder ones...

- [g*n]
- Ah, shit!

- You think I'm soft?
- Oh, shit.

Brooklyn, bitches!




Whoa. f*ck.

[b*llet PINGS]

Oh, shit.


Poor guy.

- They're d*ad. d*ad!
- Shit.


Thaniel? Buddy?

I prayed on it.

You were right. I was wrong, okay?

God wants this friendship, man.

And I... f*ck.



Someone's coming.
Hide, hide, hide, hide!

Shit. Oh, no.

Oh, God.

[GRUNTS] Oh, shit. Ow.

Oh, f*ck. f*cking hamstrings.

Mr. Block?

We come in peace. We mean you no harm.

Just a little chitchat.

We just wanted to take you up
on your generous offer to talk.

Kelvin's ass all scared.

This f*ck ain't even home.

Maybe we should take some stuff.

Like what?

I don't know, take his shirts.

- Holy shit.
- He's d*ad.

- Guys!
- Ahh!



Come on!



There's d*ad bodies out here, too!



I'm not making it do anything!

Okay, just going up and f*cking down.

Judy, don't you know how
to use this f*cking car?

- Oh, God, someone's here!
- Who the f*ck is that?

- Go, go!
- I'm trying!

Go, go!


- Go!
- I hate it!

I hate this car!


We gotta burn it down. All of it.



Do you think the Gemstones saw you two?

Not sure.











On the ground! Do not make a move!



And cut. Yes.

- Yeah.
- Whoo!

- That was perfect.
- Thanks, sir.

I just need one more. Thanks.

You got it. Okay. We're going again?

Well, I do not like seeing
my baby jump from a skyscraper.

That was real scary.

But following your passion, baby,

that is what life is all about.

And Gideon, I am sorry

if your dad and I stood
in the way of that.

Wow, thanks, Mom.

- I really appreciate you saying that.
- Yeah.

Well, I guess now we're even, huh?

And since we came here to
support you doing your thing,

we'd be honored if you would come

and support us doing our thing.

What's going on?

It would mean the world
to us if you would come

to the groundbreaking of Zion's Landing.

That sounds awesome.

Even though you don't want
to work at the church anymore,

you're still a part of this family.

Yeah, Dad, I know that.

We still want to be
parents and child with you.

- Yes.
- Great.

Yeah, I never really
thought we weren't, so...

- Okay, yeah.
- Great.

- Cool.
- So you'll come then?

- I'd love to.
- Sick. That's awesome, man.

- Right on.
- Really cool.

Got something for you, Papa.

I don't want nothing from you.

You done took everything I cared about.

Got me locked up in this... this...

Expensive care facility?

- Shit.
- Don't be sour, Papa.

Prison, more like it.

Everything I've worked for,

everything I've accomplished,

for what?

So that your son and his wife

could live the life they deserve.

- Shit.
- Here.

What the f*ck is this?

That represents a hotel room key

that will be permanently yours.

We're doing it.

We're doing Zion's, just
like I told you we would.

I don't want nothing to
do with this bullshit.


- Hey!
- You better behave yourself.

Lyle's being kind to
you, a lot more kind

than you've ever been to either of us.

You can't just be happy for me, can you?

Give me that damn key back!

I've done things you would never

have been capable of, Papa,

all to show you that
I am actually worthy

to carry on the family dynasty.

And you can't even say, "Thank you,"

or, "Job well done,"

or, "You're a great son."

- Mm!
- Hey, that's my roll.

Was your roll.


You're the one who made it this way.

You could've just been nice,
just given me what I asked for,

and things wouldn't be
the way they are now.




♪ Sunday morning, up with the lark ♪

♪ I think I'll take a walk in the park ♪

♪ Hey, hey, hey ♪

♪ It's a beautiful day ♪


♪ Hi, hi, hi ♪

♪ Beautiful Sunday ♪

♪ This is my, my, my ♪

♪ Beautiful day ♪

♪ When you say, say, say ♪

♪ Say that you love me ♪

♪ Oh, my, my, my ♪

♪ It's a beautiful day ♪

Okay, now, Tiffy, I want you
to eat all this meat, okay?

Yes, niece.

And eat the white gristle, too.

- That's good for the baby.
- Yes, niece.

You know, I got a
feeling that the Lissons

and the Gemstones teaming up
is gonna be the wisest decision

this family has ever made.

- Well done, son.
- Thanks.

And we want y'all to come

and be a part of the groundbreaking.

You're % right.

I think we should all
attend this important event

as a family.

The Lissons, as well as many
other prominent investors,

including Joe Jonas, will be there.

Joe Jonas? For real?

- Yes.
- Okay, settle down.

- Yeah, it is not a joke.
- Yes, it is.

If Joe Jonas is there,
me and BJ are in, okay?

Yeah, we're in.

This is going to be
a righteous f*cking rager.

- Hell yeah!
- Hear, hear.

- Yeah.
- Whoo!

Beach time! [LAUGHTER]

Not sure where they ran away to,

but they're back now.

Some of them are pretty banged up, too.

They want to talk to you.

That's all they keep asking about.

I figured if you had the time,

maybe you could say a few words.

Yeah, course.

You know how the older ones get.

They been in the pound
so long. Nobody wants 'em.

God knows what they been up to.




- You can go back inside.
- I don't mind.

Some of these boys
can be nasty at times.

It's what happens when nobody loves you.

Somebody loves them, Minister Mike.

I love them. Go on inside.



Why didn't you help us?

I told you I was working on it.

Well, you were too slow.

Congratulations on your escape.

And who told you to do that?

Do you know how dumb that was? So dumb!

You owe us grand.

I owe you? I want a f*cking refund!

You f*cking sh*t the
wrong dude the first time,

don't k*ll the f*ck the next time,

and then you got f*cking caught!


Well, since you want to run your mouth,

now you owe us double.

Double? [LAUGHS]

Who the f*ck do you think you are?

I provided for you.
None of you have parents.

No one gives a f*ck about you.

I'm the closest thing any of y'all got

to Mommy and Daddy.

- Double.
- Oh, go to hell, Rivers.

Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey now.

Don't you dare do that to me.

After all I've done for you?

Shit, I gave you those g*n.


Oh, my God, really?

That old move where you
cock the g*n in unison?

- [g*n]
- Gah!


Fine, I'll pay, you f*cking brats.

I'm just... I'm waiting on some
money to come in this weekend.

Give me till then.



All right. All right, all right.

f*ck you, f*ck.




Amber, listen to that crowd!

Can you feel the
energy in the air today?

Baby, I can feel it, and I am so happy

to be here finally with
our dearest best friends

in paradise.

- Amen!
- Love you.

I'm gonna cry.

This moment means so
much to me, everybody.


Hey, where's Joe Jonas?

Hey, get your Christian ass up here.

Come on now!

Let's bring up all the investors!

- Come on up.
- We got pop stars, y'all.

We're friends with him.
We're friends with him.

♪ Join us in the promised land ♪

♪ Come and take my hand ♪

- ♪ Let's go to Zion ♪
- Let's go!

♪ Welcome to Zion ♪

♪ Paradise ♪

Look at Joe Jonas! He likes it!

- ♪ Let's go to Zion ♪
- Let's go!

♪ Zion, where everybody wanna be ♪

♪ Yeah, my Z, it's a craze party ♪

♪ Let's go to Zion,
can't wait to arrive ♪

♪ Inside be a big paradise ♪

♪ Lord of mercy, only he
know if you're worthy ♪

♪ Water to wine, let me
know if you're thirsty ♪

- ♪ Let's go to Zion ♪
- Let's go!

♪ Welcome to Zion ♪


♪ Join us in the promised land ♪

♪ Come and take my hand ♪

- ♪ Let's go to Zion ♪
- Let's go!

So you found yourself some Funyuns.


Surprise. I'm back.

- Baby Billy.
- Here I am.

And I'm back for good.

What happened to your nose?

It's just a lick that I had
coming to me for a long time.

- A whole lotta thinking about...
- No. No, no, no, no, no.

- Uh-uh.
- Judy...

You got a lot of nerve coming here

with that shit-eating grin on your face

after what you did.

Judy, look, I know you feel the need

to put me through the paces,

but I've already gone on my journey.

I left because I was
trying to protect her.

- Protect her from what?
- From me.

Baby Billy, you abandoned her.

This ain't some Lifetime movie

where you go, "From me," in a sad voice,

and then I feel all bad
for you and forgive you.

What... forgiveness?
I ain't married to you.

- That's a gross thought.
- Yeah, it is gross.

Yuck. It'd be sick.
Can I talk to my wife?

- Please, just...
- Don't shake your hand at me.

I'm so, so sorry.

Will you take me back?





I gotta pee.


Didn't go so good, did it, boy?


- Oh.
- Sorry. After you.

No, Joe Jonas, you please go first.

No, I can hold it. I'm good, honestly.

I can also hold it as well.

I'm sorry! I gotta go real bad!

- Okay.

That solves that.



Oh, no.

It's happening!

It's happening.



- She's not with us.

- You want a watermelon?
- Not today.


- Hey, Junior.
- I done some digging.

I don't know if this lines
up, but there's an arms dealer

I done some business with,

said he found a match

for the w*apon used in your h*t.

They match up to
supplies sold to some boys

in a g*ng down in Texas.


Mmm, mmm, mmm.


Here we are, Jesse. We done did it.

- Yes, we did.

- Let's touch tips.
- Yes, please.

- Ching-ching.

Lyle, you bastard!

You think you can keep avoiding me!

Oh, shit. [COUGHS]

One second, man. [CLEARS THROAT]

Meagan, what are you doing here?

- This event is invite only.
- I want my husband!

I know you know where
Chet is. Just tell me.

I want answers! Tell me, please.

Dear, you are sad. I get that.

Don't blame me for
Chet running off on you.

These things happen.

He probably was having an affair.

[SCREAMS] Chet didn't run off!

He was working with you!

He was giving that
journalist information

on the Butterfields!

- He told me everything.
- Shh.

- He told me all about it.
- Stop talking.

- He told me!
- Hey, Jesse...

Where's my husband? Where is my...

Jesse, hold on now. Jesse!

Jesus Christ.


The Butterfields.


Calm down, Jesse. I can explain.

You better start talking.

You ratted out the Butterfields
to the press?

Don't act high and mighty.
You did bad shit, too.

I saw you at Thaniel's
cabin, all you Gemstones,

slip-sliding around in his blood.

What the hell were you...
Did you k*ll Thaniel Block?

No, I didn't k*ll Thaniel Block.

He k*lled himself.

But I did torch the place
to protect all of us.

I solved our little problem
so we could do Zion's in peace.

Honestly, there's more I could tell you,

but knowing you, you'd
probably just get all mad.

- Why would I get mad?
- Promise you won't get mad?


Them motorcycle fellas
that sh*t your daddy?

They work for me.

You sent the Cycle Ninjas?

Cycle Ninjas? Who the f*ck is that?

It's what I'm calling them
motorcycle assassin people.

Why ninjas?

They ain't got nothing
to do with martial arts.

I'll call them whatever the
f*ck I want to call them!

This is why I said don't get mad!

Why the f*ck would you
want to k*ll my daddy?

To help you!

Jesse, Eli keeps you
from your potential,

from our friendship.

Double firstborns
building paradise together.

So I thought I'd do you
a solid and smoke him,

get him out of your way.

No, no, I never asked you to do that.

You're gonna look me in my eye

and tell me you never wished
your daddy would hurry up

and die already?

No, of course not, Lyle.
That'd be f*cked up.

What's f*cked up is when you told me

your old man wouldn't give us the cash.

That rocked my world. I bugged out, man.

You can't hold that against me.

Shit, I did it for us,
man, for our investment.

Are you mad?

I think I need to go for a walk.

Can I come with you?

No, I think I should probably
just do this walk alone,

on my own, by myself.

Can I walk a few feet behind you,

like, at a distance?



Wait... you're gonna tell!


- Damn it, man, f*ck'...

Lyle, how could you, you f*cking...

[SCREAMING] We were firstborns!


You carry a f*cking sling?



Are you d*ad?

Did I k*ll you, Lyle?


Something happened. You did something.

Oh, f*ck me.


Hey, hey, boys. Have you seen Tiff?

- Yeah, that's her.


Tiff, it's me. Please, now, please.

Tiff, open the door.
Please forgive me, please!

I just had him, Baby Billy.

I had baby Lionel, but
he fell in the toilet.

Son of a g*n. A toilet baby?

- Come out here.

- Oh, my God!
- We should call a doctor.

I actually almost played
a doctor on TV once.

Got real close.

Maybe I can pull it up
by the umbilical cord,

you know, like a bucket in a well.

Pull him out!

Okay. Here we go.

Easy, Lionel.

He's going... easy. Yeah. Yeah.



- Ah!

- It snapped!
- No, save him, Baby Billy!

- Save him!
- I got you!



Hold on!



There he is.

That's my son.

That's my son



That's my son!


Thank you.

Aunt Tiffany's so dumb,
she'll probably head

to Freeman's Gap with Uncle Baby Billy.

We'll just be a couple
sad-ass empty nesters.

I love that you're acting all hurt,

like she's your kid or something.

I know she ain't my kid.
She's my f*cking aunt, dude.

- Stupid.
- Hi. Hello.

Would you all please come with me?

I just k*lled someone.


- Baby.
- Gonna follow you.

All I meant to do was wing him.

- That was it.
- Oh!

Oh, my God.

f*ck, Jesse, you really did k*ll him.

Why are there branches all over him?

I panicked. I didn't know what to do.

I tried to cover him up. Look at him.

He's d*ad.

Oh, baby.





- Whoa!
- Yes!

Nice f*cking h*t, Daddy!

Daddy, it was the Lissons!

They were the bad guys the whole time!

I was coming over to tell you that.

Lyle, how could you? Does Lindy know?

He's my husband.

Of course I know what
the f*ck is going on.

Get up, baby.

Put that g*n down, sweetheart.

Don't tell us what to
do. We do what we want.

- We're grown-ups.
- Not acting like it.

Shut your mouth or I'm
gonna shut it for you,

you and your assh*le wife.

How dare you, Lindy.

You know what? Eat some shit.

You eat some shit, you
f*cking privileged wannabe!


Girl, you need to watch who
you're calling privileged.


No, you're f*cking privileged!

Hell I am! You're privileged!

You're privileged the most.



I'm fine. It's not bad, see?

- Oh, my God!
- Oh!


- Oh, God, I'm gonna die!
- No.

At least you're baptized.

God dang it, no! You're not gonna die!

How dare you sh**t him!

He's part of our f*cking family!

Did Jesse say I'm part of the family?

Yes, baby.

We're gonna get out of here,
and y'all can't follow us!

So you better get in that water.

Got no time for games,
girl. That boy's gonna die.

Is Eli bargaining for my life?

Get in the f*cking water, or
Little Debbie gets it again!

- Hey, no, no.
- No, no, no, no, no.

Get in that water,
and you swim offshore.

Go on, get!


- Go!
- I'm sorry, BJ.

Go, go.

I'll come back, BJ.

Turn the f*ck around!
Stop looking at us!


Don't f*cking look at me, Jesse.

Get in that water!

- That's right, keep going!



Let that wave slap them dicks, whoo!




Well, Waylon said I wasn't compatible

with his fishing lifestyle,

so he left me high and
dry to be with his boat.


Oh, sweetheart.

I knew the son of a bitch
was all about that salt life.

I oughta b*at his ass
for making you cry.

Oughta throw him off his f*cking boat.

Chad, let's get raw.

- You got this.
- I'm sorry.

I'm sorry I put you through everything.

I made a mistake.

And I've grown to hate
myself because of it.

I weep

at night, alone.


Okay, Chad, let's not put all our cards

on the table, all right?

Mandy, there's no doubt
that this man is an idiot.

Everyone knows that.

But you played your part as well

by mocking him and
belittling his manhood.


I'm so sorry I told everybody
that you have a tiny pecker

and that you don't provide
for me and the girls,

'cause you do provide.

You're a real good daddy.

I am?

And I got a big pecker?
Bigger than Waylon's?

You provide for the girls.


I am so proud of you two,

because the Lord tells us to forgive.

And with forgiveness
comes a second chance.


You know, the Gospel of Luke says,

"Your brother and
sister sin against you,

"rebuke them.

"But if they repent, forgive them.

"Even if they sin against
you seven times in a day

"and seven times they
come to you and repent,

you must forgive."

Mandy, Chad's only asking
for two chances, not seven.

Can you give this man
named Chad a second chance?



Oh, gosh, yes.



Second chances achieved and complete.

And the next chapter begins.


It was nice having you here.

Let us know when you get there, okay?

I will.

Remember, Aunt Tiffy,
what I told you about

when you bathe.

- ABC.
- That's right.

[TOGETHER] Angles, butthole, coochie.

Good girl.

Y'all can come visit anytime.

We'll just be up in Freeman's Gap.

Yeah, door's always
open. Y'all just swing by.

We'll sing us some ditties
like we used to, Judy Leigh.

Y'all can come here
anytime you want, too.


Especially bring this little guy.

Little Lionel's so flipping cute.

A handsome little
mister, that's for sure.

Yeah, he's got my looks
but his mama's gumption.

Yeah, got her gums, too. [LAUGHS]

I can't thank y'all enough

for taking such good care of me.

Made me think about how I want
to be nice like that to others,

especially baby Lionel.


Oh, buttercup,

you got his juice all
over your face now.

Hold on, I'll get this off here for you.

Excuse me one second here. Come on over.

I got a rag. I got a rag.


Put this on there.

BJ, if we ever had a baby,

do you promise you'd
still want to f*ck me

even if my shit got
played out by the kid?

Judy, I'd love nothing more

than to bang your
played-out mother p*ssy

for the rest of my days.

BJ, don't you ever change, okay?

Just stay a kind, giant nerd

who thinks that heaven is a joke

but will think different after he dies

'cause the secret thing is,
everybody goes to heaven,

even science guys.

Everybody's loaded in.

- Bye-bye, bye-bye!
- Bye-bye!

- Bye-bye. Say goodbye now.
- Look, she's making him wave.

Bye-bye now.


Let's see some hustle! Push yourselves!

h*t them weights, worms!

You heard him. h*t the weights.

You know, I used to worry

that ministering to kids was a joke,

that I wasn't taken seriously.

Saving children from burning in hell,

that's very important.


This whole time we've been
searching for our calling,

it's been right here under our noses

with these beautiful, innocent children.

Look at Jason. He is
strong for a boy his age.

- Heck yeah.
- And Latrell, whoo!

- He's got some lats on him.
- Looks like angel wings.

That's right.

We could groom a lot of these kids

into being the next
generation's strongmen.

My God.

Look at Derek's pecs.

Those things are bulbous.

Derek's a very popular boy.

Who says that we need muscle men

in order to go on missions?

We could go to the Judean
desert with these kids.

It'd be just as gratifying.

Maybe we should at least
get some permission slips

and chaperones.

Dang, Keefe, what you talking 'bout,

permission slips and chaperones?

- I'm just spitballing here.
- Yeah, you're right.

No adults. Just us and these children.

That's right.

Putting in all-new stadium seating.

Now just need asses
to put in 'em, uh-huh.

Putting that money to good use.

Got to if I want to attract top talent,

- know what I mean?
- Oh, you'll get 'em.

They'll fly here like bees to flowers.


Old son of a bitch did start the place.

Had to give him some kind of props.

- Think that's nice. Real nice.
- Yeah.

You're a good man, Eli, I swear.

After what that Texas
preacher done to you,

and then knowing he just got away,

living his life unchecked, man,

I'd be tracking his ass down to the ends

of the g*dd*mn earth, I tell you what.

It's not our duty to judge one another.

- That belongs to the Lord.
- Hm.







♪ Coffee black, cigarettes ♪

♪ Start this day like all the rest ♪

♪ First thing every morning that I do ♪

♪ Is start missing you ♪


♪ Some broken hearts never mend ♪

♪ Some memories never end ♪

♪ Some tears will never dry ♪

♪ My love for you will never die ♪


They're on the move.

ALL: ♪ Rendezvous in the night ♪

Oh, hell yeah.

ALL: ♪ In the middle of love's embrace ♪

♪ I see your face ♪


♪ Some broken hearts never mend ♪

♪ Some memories never end ♪

♪ Some tears will never dry ♪

Get the g*n!

♪ My love for you will never die ♪


♪ Some broken hearts never mend ♪

♪ Some memories never end ♪

♪ Some tears will never dry ♪

♪ My love for you will never die ♪

God believes in us.

God will see us through,
for we are chosen.


Want something, f*ck?


♪ Some broken hearts never mend ♪

♪ Some memories never end ♪

♪ Some tears will never dry ♪

♪ My love for you will never die ♪


♪ Some broken hearts never mend ♪

♪ Some memories never end ♪

♪ Some tears will never dry ♪

♪ My love for you will never die ♪

♪ Some tears will never dry ♪

♪ Some tears will never dry ♪

♪ My love for you will never die ♪

ALL: ♪ My love for you ♪

♪ Will never die ♪
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