01x01 - Crazy 10-Minute Sale

[bunniefuu]

Edgebono utoosis.

Good. Thank you, Justin.

That is how you execute
the duplication spell properly.

Real rabbit. Duplicate rab... No.

Duplicate rabbit, real...

It's... Anyway, there's two now.

What's the big deal? They're rabbits.

Wait five minutes
and they'll duplicate by themselves.

Remember, as with any spell,

if you don't concentrate,
it doesn't come out exactly right.

Cool. I've always wanted a guard rabbit.

You know, scare off the mailman.

I was thinking about dogs
when I cast the spell.

Now, are there any questions
about the spell?

Anyone who doesn't look
like they're about to wreck their pants?

- The Crazy Ten-Minute Sale!
- The crazy what?

Every year this cool clothing store,
Suburban Outfitters,

has this crazy sale for ten minutes

where they practically give stuff away
and...

- What are you doing?
- Fast-forwarding to the part

where this sale is more important
than the magic lesson.

- Well, Gigi's gonna be there.
- Who's Gigi?

Don't you remember?
My enemy since kindergarten,

when she spilled juice on my mat
during nap time

and told everyone I had an accident.

This is fascinating.

Tell me more.

Well, I'm sick of Gigi.
She's always rubbing stuff in my face.

The point is, I'm tired of her
always showing me up at school.

Can I please skip class on Thursday
to go to the sale?

Let's roll the answer dice, shall we?

No. Come on.

- But, Dad...
- But nothing.

Look, you have wizard training
on Tuesdays and Thursdays

and you're not ditching.

You're right, you're right. I'm sorry.
I'm gonna totally focus on the magic.

I have a question about the spell.

Thank you.

How do I use it
to get cool clothes before Gigi?

Are you as excited about
the Crazy Ten-Minute Sale as I am?

I can't go.

But I drew up a game plan so we
could get into the store before Gigi.

I thought we agreed that we hate Gigi
so much we'd never say her name.

But you just said "Gigi."

Okay, from now on
we'll say her name backwards.

But "Gigi" backwards is still "Gigi."

That's right. We'll say "Gigi"
but only we'll know it's backwards.

It'll be hilarious.

I like it. Anyway, do you remember

that one-of-a-kind jacket
in the window you've been wanting?

It's gonna be in the sale.

It all sounds good, but I can't go.

It's on Thursday.
I have a family commitment.

Do you also have a commitment

to letting Gigi run all over you
for the rest of your life?

Great.
Here she comes with her copycat crew.

Act like we don't care.

Bonjour, Alex.

Bonjour, Alex's friend.

Nice shoes.

I mean,
I don't care about you or your shoes.

Yeah, I've had these shoes
for about a week.

Oh, I mean, I'd give them to you,

but I already promised them
to another charity.

No, you should keep them.
They go so well with your eyebrow.

Well, at least I don't have man hands.

I mean, how do you get those meat stubs
through your sleeves?

What happened to you two?

Pick your noses so hard they fell off?

They got nose jobs.

When they heal,
they'll be just like Gigi's.

When is Gigi's gonna heal?

People always take shots
at the trendsetter.

And by the way, I saw you looking
at that jacket at Suburban Outfitters.

And good for you
for knowing you need a new one.

But it's mine.
And it'll look so much better on me.

Not if I get it first.

Well, good luck finding it.
I already went down there and hid it.

Hey, that's not in the spirit
of the Crazy Ten-Minute Sale.

Yeah! Whatever.

Come on, girls.
Time to change your gauze.

Look! Alex had an accident again!

Gigi, this is silly.

How long is this gonna go on?

We've been fighting with each other
forever.

Fighting? Really? Let's see.

I've won, like, times
and you've won none.

So it's not really a fight.

She has won an awful lot.

That's it. We're going to that sale
and I'm gonna show her up.

But I thought you had a commitment.

I'll work it out with my parents.

Sure, they're pretty understanding.

No, I'm just really sneaky.

Honey? Honey?

Listen.
So I need you to back me up on this.

I told Alex she couldn't miss wizard class
to go to some crazy sale on Thursday.

Okay. Wait.

Do you mean
the Crazy Ten-Minute Sale?

That's the one.

Thank you for reminding me.
I almost forgot.

It doesn't sound
like you're gonna back me up on this.

Don't worry, I am.

Who's not allowed to go again?

- Alex.
- Right.

Wizard mail's here.

Oh, Wizards Weekly. Let's see
if they printed my letter to the editor.

I wish they'd take those out for people
who already have subscriptions.

My wand didn't show up.

That's bunk.

I need my magic wand
so I don't have to learn spells anymore.

Max, you're always gonna need
to know spells.

Look, if I give you a bike,
that doesn't mean you know how to ride it.

Awesome. I'm getting a bike?

Look, I know how excited you are
about getting your first wand.

So until it comes, how about using
old Black Liquorice here?

Yeah, that looks like something
you get out of a cereal box.

Come on.
This is a Wandwarp Featherlight.

They don't even make these anymore.

I can see why.

Look, if you're not gonna take care of it,
then I'm not gonna give it to you.

It has tremendous sentimental value.

This is the wand that helped me
get the goblins out of the basement

when I was your age.

And it's a tremendous back scratcher.
See?

Cool.

It's a little dinged up, but...

You can see where I filled it in
with black nail polish.

There's a lot of great memories
wrapped up in this wand.

And a lot of stories I'm tired of hearing.

She said it, we didn't.

- How do I look?
- Why?

Because I'm going to duplicate myself.

And if I look ugly,
I don't wanna look twice as ugly.

What are you talking about?

I'm talking about taking Gigi down

and it's gonna take more than one of me
to do it.

Edgebono utoosis.

Now that's cool.

I wanna make two of me
so I can give myself a wedgie.

Why would you wanna do that?

Because I wanna see what it feels like,
but I wanna get it from someone I trust.

Afternoon, Alex. Other Alex.

You're both clearly up to no good.

Max, just help me get me ready
so it looks like I'm here so I can leave.

Wow, I did a great job.

I look good.

I was thinking
about your stupid barking rabbit.

Yep, it's perfect, because that's
what I hear when you talk to me.

Bad girl. No barking, just pout.

Yeah, I don't see
how this could possibly go wrong.

It'll be fine.
The real me is upset with Dad,

which means I pout
and give him the silent treatment.

Yeah, but for how long?

Well, this has to pout
for the Ten-Minute Sale plus travel time,

which shouldn't be a problem,
because my pout record is, like, four days.

- Hello?
- Alex, are you sneaking away or not?

The doors are gonna open any minute
and Gigi's already in the front.

How did she get up front?

I don't know, but she's telling everybody
you shop in pre-teen.

Which I said wasn't a slam, because a lot
of their stuff is really, really cute.

Like my sunflower top
that goes with my rainbow socks.

I'll be right there.

Wait, you're not wearing that, are you?

No.

You really think Dad'll be fooled
with this thing sitting here

with that glassy look in its eye,
totally disconnected during class?

Wow, you're right. This could work.

What if Dad asks you
to change seats or something?

I don't know, cover for me.

Why would I cover for you?

Because I'll buy you
a brand new pair of sneakers.

Sold.

Good boy. I'm off to the sale.

And Mom and Dad know nothing
about that, right?

I'm a size .

That's your price?
A new pair of sneakers?

Apparently.

But the joke's on her.

I'm gonna get some new sneakers
for doing nothing.

What are you gonna do
when she falls over?

That will never happen.

You're right. It'll never happen.

Hi, Harper.

Hi, Alex's mom.

Oh, my gosh, Alex's mom?

I know it's weird
for a grownup to be here,

but since Alex couldn't come,
I'm gonna get something for her.

Well, this will be fun.

It's a chance for you and me
to spend some time together, you know?

Chill.

Excuse me. There you are.

How did you find me
with all these people?

I saw your rainbow socks
from down the block.

Sorry I'm late.
It took a while to ditch the family.

Well, you didn't do a very good job.
Your mom's here.

- What?
- Relax.

I sent her down the block
to find some tappuccinos.

There's no such thing
as a tappuccino.

I know.

Wow, I'm impressed.

You're becoming more like me
every day.

- Okay, move.
- Sorry.

Excuse me. Sorry.

Excuse me.

Nice try, Gigi. But it looks like
I got in the front of the line too.

Well, I know where the jacket is
and you don't.

What's that?
You're looking for a racket?

Well, I'm looking for a jacket.
And I'm gonna get it before you do.

I can't believe you brought your grandma.
She's not gonna help you get in first.

She's not my grandma.
I found her at the park.

She's here to block.

Where is it? It was right here.

Excuse me. There was a huge pile
of clothes right there.

Where is it?

Oh, we completely rearranged the store
for the sale,

because a lot of people
sneak in early and hide stuff.

It's not really in the spirit
of the Crazy Ten-Minute Sale.

It's anybody's jacket now.

Harper.

Harper? I found our tappuccinos.

It's steamed milk and tap water.

She's too heavy.
Can you give me a hand?

Why don't you use Dad's wand
to move her?

I can't find it.

Either I just found Dad's wand
or I cracked my butt knuckle.

I'm no doctor, but I'm fairly certain
there's no such thing as a butt knuckle.

No. No, no, no. Dad's gonna wig out.

You know, if I wasn't getting
new sneakers, I'd be really freaked out.

Oh, I'd be really freaked out anyway.

Justin, will you at least help me
prop her up?

Sure, because she's done
so much for me.

What are you doing?

Dancing.

With my sister.

Practising for that new reality show,
Dancing with my Sister.

Okay, guys, before we get started today,

I just wanna point out
the good example set by your sister.

She really wanted to go shopping,

but instead she's right here,
ready to learn.

I think we're all gonna learn something
real soon.

Alex, I'm very proud of you.

So proud that I'm gonna
give you permission

to miss today's lesson
and go to that sale.

So go ahead and have fun.

Seriously. Go.

Oh, I get it. You need money.

I'm sorry. Go ahead, take it. Take it.

Yeah, Alex. Take it.

Alex used the duplication spell
and went to the Crazy Ten-Minute Sale.

Wow, looks like she did.

This is way worse
than me breaking your wand, right?

You...?

Alex, wand. Alex, wand.

Alex!

Wow, he didn't even care
about the wand.

That would've been a good time to tell him
I broke his new drill.

You broke his drill?

I think so. I'll find out
when I put the pieces back together.

Check it out. My new eWand.

Oh, an eWand. The strap is for safety.

Good point.

Now that we've got safety out of the way,
let's rock.

Slippery.

Wow, they should make something
that attaches to the wand

so that doesn't happen.

Alex, hide.
Your mom's right behind me.

What?

Harper, there you are.

I found our tappuccinos.
They're surprisingly delicious.

I'm sorry. Let's go tell a manager.

Eight minutes left
in the Crazy Ten-Minute Sale.

Eight minutes.

Are you kidding me?

I've only got eight minutes
to find something for Alex.

What do you think she'd like?

For you to leave.

What?

This is your size.

Go try it on.

Alex, are you okay?

I'm fine, I'm fine. Did my mom see me?

No, I sent her to the dressing room.
This is our chance. Let's get out.

Oh, no, no, no.
I am not leaving without that jacket.

I have choked on too many blouses
to let Gigi get that jacket.

Harper.

I'm going back in.

Hey, what else does this thing do?

Standard magic stuff.

It opens portals, disappears objects,
levitates things, and... Oh, my gosh.

- What?
- It's an MP player.

It holds a trillion songs.

No way.

Oh, and it says here
it has eMimic feature.

What's that?

I think I just found out.

Hey, Alex, why are you hitting yourself?

Why are you hitting yourself?
Why are you hitting yourself?

Why are you hitting yourself?

I don't know.

Oh, I know what you're doing.

We must be getting close to the jacket.

You're trying to distract me.

Are you hitting yourself?
You've got problems.

Good burn.

I know, I thought it and then I said it.

Well, what are you doing now?

What does it look like I'm doing?
I'm dancing like a chicken.

I don't even know
why I try to embarrass you.

I mean, you're so good at it yourself.

I don't know what's happening.

I do. You're dancing like an Egyptian.

Hey, everyone,
there's a freak show by the jeans rack.

Hey, Alex, I think we caught a break.

There's some freak show by the jeans.
Let's go look.

Harper, those are the jeans.
I'm the freak show.

Faster. Faster. Let's see if it'll throw up.

- Size . Perfect. Thanks, Alex.
- Help me!

Theresa. Where's Alex?

Jerry, she's with you.

No, she's not. She cut class.
I came down here to look for her.

Well, I haven't seen her.

I think I just did.

Alex, stop spinning wildly out of control
and get over here.

I can't!

What do you think's going on?

I think Max got his new wand.

I found it. I found the jacket.

Hey, Gigi,
guess what's in my meat hands.

- Give me the jacket. Give it to me. Give...
- No.

Well, it looks like the tinklee
became the tinkler.

Oh, please.
Everybody saw her spill that on me.

Yeah, but it's on your front.

It does look like you went.

But what are you two talking about?
I mean, you just saw that.

Where are you going?

We have the same noses.

They're gone, Gigi. They left you.

Okay, maybe you're right.

This has been going on for too long.

No, it hasn't. I'm just getting good at it.

In fact, I think it's time
for a little announcement.

Okay, I know I'm in trouble.
But just, like, one second.

Attention, shoppers.
Attention, shoppers.

Gigi's real name is Gertude.

Okay, now I can go.

These sales get crazier and crazier
every year.

Oh, Alex. Dad's looking for you.

And he found you.

Did you get your wand today, Max?

Yeah.

Because whatever you were doing
to this dummy

was happening to this dummy.

Oh, that's what the "mimic"
in eMimic means.

I told you
we should've read the manual.

Max, you know better than to use magic
without my permission.

You're right, Dad. You're right.
It was pretty bad what I did.

But not as bad as Alex using magic
to cut class to go to some sale.

Yes, Max. Thank you.

And you and I by no means
are done talking about this.

I know. But before we get into it,
I think you should know,

I heard Justin broke your drill.

My brand new drill?

Max broke your wand.

- Did you use magic to break my drill?
- No.

You're clear. Go.

Did you use magic to break my wand?

No, I sat on it.

You're clear. Go.

And we have a winner.

Dad, I know you're mad,
but I can explain.

Gigi has been making me look bad
forever,

and this was a huge chance
to get back at her. So I went for it.

Revenge.

- So you do get it?
- I get it.

But let's look at it, shall we?

Was revenge worth missing
your wizard training?

Was it worth having your brother
lie for you,

or your best friend lie to your mom
down at that store?

And speaking of your mother,

she's got me trying
to make her a tappuccino?

So what you're saying is,
by getting back at Gigi,

I was really hurting myself?

No, but I like that better.

So, since I figured that out,
I should pick my own punishment, right?

No. Why don't you take my punishment
and duplicate it?

- You're grounded for one week.
- Does that mean two weeks?

Oh, now it's four. I love this game.

Good talk, sweetie.

Oh, you hush up.

- So I'm glad you learned your lesson.
- Me too.

Good. Now, your mom wants me
to take her out dancing,

but the big game is on tonight.

Dad, that sounds like your punishment,
not mine.

Then you see what I'm getting at.

Oh, you want me to duplicate you

so you can go dancing
and watch the game.

A little.

Oh, well, if you have to punish me,
I guess you have to punish me.

Edgebono utoosis.

Have her home by .