02x03 - Graphic Novel

[bunniefuu]

With my brave knight and
my hello pony blankie,

The faster we go, the safer I feel.

Oh, sweet, shining alex,
thou art the b*mb.

Right back at thou.

Oops.

You dropped your blankie, milady.

Take it. It shall keep thee cozy.

hey, justin. Why don't we invent an
edible flaming sandwich for kids?

because I think most kids
like having their eyebrows.

- Oh.
- Halt! Who goes there?

I shall never let
danger touch milady.

Not danger. Dorks.

No one must know that I crush on thee.
I'm sorry, knight,

But I must bid thee... Later.

Literarium terrarium.

I'm telling you,
there has got to be a way

To put something on fire in
my mouth without it hurting.

What are you doing in here?

What does it look like
I'm doing in here?

Uh... Trying to come up with an
answer to the question I just asked.

Ok, you got me.
You win. Nice going.

Heh-heh. We won.
I feel pretty good about that.

- She's up to something.
- Yeah, we never win.

♪ well, you know everything's
gonna be a breeze ♪

♪ that the end will no
doubt justify the means ♪

♪ you can fix any problem
with the slightest of ease ♪

♪ yes, please ♪

♪ well, you might find out
it'll go to your head ♪

♪ when you write a report
on a book you never read ♪

♪ with a snap of your fingers
you can make your bed ♪

♪ that's what I said ♪

♪ everything is not what it seems ♪

♪ when you can get all you
wanted in your wildest dreams ♪

♪ you might run into trouble
if you go to extremes ♪

♪ because everything
is not what it seems ♪

♪ everything is not what it seems ♪

♪ when you can have what you
want by the simplest of means ♪

♪ be careful not to mess
with the balance of things ♪

♪ because everything is not ♪

♪ what it seems ♪

Alex, look! There's dean,
that guy you like.

Should I get you a bullhorn so you
can announce it to the whole school?

I don't want anyone to know. - Sorry,
but I just don't know what you see in dean.

He's dangerous. He gives temporary
tattoos in the boys' bathroom!

- Hey, dean.
- What's up?

So, I hear your temporary tattoo
business has really taken off.

Hey, joey, show her my portfolio.

Bam!

Hm. So, do you ever give
those to cute girls?

What cute girl are
you thinking about?

Harper.

Uh, she's totally into it.
We'll get back to you on that, ok?

I don't care how much you have a crush on
him. I'm not getting a temporary tattoo
from dean!

I know, I know. I'm sorry.
I just panicked.

What do you see in him,
anyway? He had a mustache all summer!

Alex, red alert. Gigi and the
wannabes are heading this way.

I can't believe it. It's after second
period and I haven't humiliated anyone
today.

Look. Hey, everyone. Laura moloney is
moving into andy hollenbeck's locker.

They're totally going out.

We're just lab partners.

We're just lab partners?

You are embarrassed to
be going out with me.

That's it. We're done.

It's sick. It's like gigi gets a thrill out
of humiliating people just 'cause they like
someone.

See? This is why no one can
know I have a crush on dean.

He doesn't have a bedtime!

I'm sorry. You just say his
name and these things pop up.

Guess what, alex? We're having
a sleepover at cindy's tonight.

And like always,
you're not invited.

Gigi, how many times are you
gonna not invite me to something

Before you realize I don't care?

Well, if you don't care so much,
why did you crank call us last time?

You can't prove that was me.

Hey, justin, look what
I found in the lair.

Alex has a book with hundreds
of drawings she made.

That's lame. - Yeah.
Almost as lame as that book you have

With the pictures of that
weather lady from channel nine.

Her name is wendy leonard,
and her forecasts are extremely accurate.

You know what?

Dude, this isn't a book.
This is a magic journal.

Alex has drawn herself an entire
fairy tale world that she lives in!

Dude, she uses the literarium
terrarium spell to go inside of it!

Wow. Look at all this
embarrassing princess-y stuff.

Who knew alex was such a girl?

It is pretty shocking.

Oh, my gosh. There's gigi.

Oh, brother.

I usually don't notice girls
with soft, shiny hair,

But it's like a field
of gold up there.

Ok, dude, whatever you do,
don't show this to gigi.

If alex didn't want us to see it,
there's no way she wants gigi to see it.

Justin. Hi, max.
What you got there?

It's alex's secret journal and pictures.
She's created drawings. Look.

Like I said, don't show it to gigi!

But justin, we hate alex
and gigi hates alex,

So don't we want
to give it to gigi?

There's a difference between
family hate and people hate.

If someone in your family hates someone,
you're supposed to, too.

Oh, I get it. Then I hate pumpkin
pie so you hate pumpkin pie.

You know I love pumpkin pie!

Max, could you carry
my books for me?

Yes!

Can I brush your hair, too?

Is that weird?

Yeah.

It is, actually. That's ok.
I'll take my books back.

Max, she just took alex's journal.
Oh, did I?

I see it right there,
so I'm just gonna take it back.

- I don't think that's a good idea.
- Just hand it to me.

- I'm popular so I can keep the book.
- Voice is being raised.

- I get everything I want.
- Oh, whoa, max!

I don't have my gym clothes on.
Go get her!

Literarium terrarium!

I got the book back. - Now how are
we gonna get her out of the book?

Hey, I got the book back. Now you've
got to start pulling some weight.

Hello?

Hello!

Is anybody here?

"alex's blankie?"

Where am I?

You're in alex's journal.

I'm in alex's journal?

Ok, I thought I was just reading
alex's journal. - Right.

You're reading alex's journal.

I'm alex's teddy bear.

Stay on the pathways, and if you see any
stuffing that looks like this, it's mine.

I'm so glad alex erased that dog.

Ok, she has a teddy
bear and a blankie?

She's not as tough as she
wants everyone to think.

What else does she have in here?

All her secrets.

Oh, I'm so gonna keep reading.

The school's gonna love
hearing stories about alex

That I don't have to make up.

You know what I'd love?
Some fiberfill.

If you see alex,
tell her to draw me some.

And maybe a hot tub.

Wouldn't you just get
all wet and soggy?

Hey, that's my problem.

Just mention it to her.

Hey, check out the wannabes.

They're totally lost without gigi.

Here's our chance
to mess with them.

Hey, guys, where's gigi?

We don't know where gigi is.

Oh. Well, she's probably off getting
a jump on the new fashion trend...

...Wearing shoes on your hands.

And, uh, you guys should probably
do it too, or she'll get mad.

Oh, thanks, alex.

For an enemy, you are a lifesaver.

Just because we're enemies
doesn't mean we don't care.

Yeah, thanks.

Gigi's also off getting
her head shaved.

Do with that what you will.

Yeah, right. How do we get
gigi out of the magic journal

Without letting her know that
there is a magic journal?

Well, I've given this
a lot of thought.

Perfect. What do you got?

That's it.

- We gotta buy ourselves some time.
- Yes, yes, um...

Where's a good hiding spot
for the journal? - I got it.

You know how dad can always stare into the
fridge and never find the mustard bottle?

He's, "we're out.
I can't make a sandwich!"

And then mom's like, "
it's right in front of your eyes, jer."

Oh, yeah, yes!

So we'll use magic to turn alex's
book into dad's squeezable mustard!

No.

We gotta hide the
journal in plain sight.

Aw, man, I was hoping we
could use a spell like...

...Like bookus mustardo.

Alex always steers
clear of a bookshelf,

Plus, boom, it'll blend right in.
She'll never know.

I think that's alex.
Act natural, act natural.

Hey, guys. Did you notice that
gigi left school early today?

I kind of missed her. Especially in pe.
We started dodgeball.

And why is my journal on
the bookshelf by the door?

- How did you see that?
- I knew it wouldn't work.

Bookus mustardo! Bookus mustardo!
Bookus mustardo!

You guys are toast.

My journal is for my eyes only.
What do you know?

That you have a crush on
dean "the tattoo" moriarty.

I do not!

And that we accidentally
trapped gigi in there.

What?

Gigi's in my journal?

This is unbelievable.
This is my worst nightmare.

All of my secrets are there and now gigi's
gonna know that I have a crush on dean.

Knew it!

Gigi hasn't talked to the knight who looks
like dean so she doesn't know about my
crush.

I'm gonna go get her out before
she meets him. - No, you can't.

She'll tell everyone she
was in a magical journal.

They'll know we're wizards. - What do you
want me to do, leave her there forever?

No! No, just give me some time to figure
out how to explain this to her when she
gets out.

Fine. I'll give you one day.

In the meantime,
nobody opens this book.

As long as this book stays closed,
everything in my fantasy world freezes.

I won't let her find out
any of my other secrets.

- Like...
- Max, stop it!

Listen... Nobody's crying!

Gigi must not be in school again!

Well, something tells me her
schedule must have been booked.

That she's in a real binding.

That she may be starting a
new chapter in her life.

Why are you talking like that?

Oh, it's really clever if you knew.

Hey!

I mean... That's good...

...That you did what
gigi wanted you to do.

I didn't think they'd do it.

Gigi also told me she wants
you guys to wear yarn wigs.

Yarn wigs?

They exist. I can show
you how to make them.

Now, that one you're
just making up.

That's ridiculous.
Gigi would never say that.

She hates yarn.

How can you hate yarn?

I wear a lot of yarn.
Then again, gigi hates me.

It all makes sense now!

Hey, justin, so I was looking at alex's
journal... - Where did yofind that?

- She hid it in my hamper.
- Genius.

You never open that thing. - I know. I
tripped over some clothes and I fell on it.

Oh, quick. Alex is coming.
Hide it in plain sight.

Hey, guys, what's up?

it's working.

No, it's not working.
What are you doing with my journal?

I peeked.

You opened it?

That's what "peeked" means.

Oh, no. Gigi's riding with
my knight on his motorcycle.

He has his helmet on.
She doesn't know he looks like dean.

Yeah, well, I'm gonna go in there and
get her out before she finds out.

- Literarium...
- No, alex, you can't.

I haven't figured out how to
keep her from exposing us.

Yeah, well, gigi finding out about dean
is worse than finding out about magic.

- Really?
- No, but it's important to me.

Literarium terrarium.

Ok, we gotta get going.
We gotta keep her from exposing magic.

Literarium terrarium.

- No, alex, stop. What are you trying to do?
- I'm trying to stop gigi.

Here. Hold my veil. I don't want
it to get caught in the catapult.

- That was close.
- It wasn't that close enough!

Alex, as much as that was like,
totally awesome...

Did you see that! It was like,
swoosh...!

It's not the right way to
deal with the situation.

Well, I've got to stop her before she finds
out I drew the knight to look like dean.

Hey, I could joust her for him.

Then, when I win, we could ride off
in the sunset and she'll never know.

Joust? - Yeah. I've got jousting
stuff in the jousting shed.

Oh. Your fantasy world
involves a lot of sharp metal.

- Oh, thank you.
- Welcome.

Ok.

Let's take our mount and
chase down that evil gigi

Before she unveils the
knight's true identity.

- Hold on.
- Onward, my loyal bros.

What are you doing? - This is how I
talk when I'm in my fantasy world.

Oh, how awesome are thou and thee.

See, this is why I
never draw you here.

- Oh, there she is!
- drive faster!

- I don't know the speed limit.
- Well, it's faster than this.

My teddy bear's about to pass us.

Stop! Stop! My stuffing's
caught in your chain.

Pull over! Pull over, my unfair maiden,
and hand me back my blankie!

Oh, alex, your journal
is so beautiful.

- Thank you.
- And revealing.

I've seen your hello pony blanket,
I've seen your teddy bear.

I can't wait to see who the knight you're
crushing on is. - No, you're not gonna see
him.

Because I challenge thou to a duel.

A joust of sorts.
Well, actually, it is a joust.

Whoever knocks the other off her iron
steed rides away with the knight,

Sir lord of cuteness.

Fine. Give me a lance
and I'll joust you.

I've got one for you.

- And a helmet for safety.
- Ow!

Should have given you
the shin guards first.

We should move or we're
gonna be shish-kabob.

Are those the sticks with beef
or the sticks with chicken?

It's meat with a stick through it.

- Oh.
- Come on.

Whoo!

Yes! Whoo!

It was great!

Knight, knight! Let us
ride off into the sunset.

- Not before a kiss.
- It's dean!

It's dean!
Alex has a crush on dean!

What? That is not dean!

Dean is a lot taller than that.

And his eyes aren't
even that color.

Not just because I ran out
of that color pencil, either.

Dean's eyes are blue or blue-green,
depending on the light.

A beautiful blue-green.

Ow! Something bit my toe.

- Oh, those would be toe leeches.
- Toe leeches?

It's my book. They started out as smudges,
but then I made them into something.

Get me out of here!

Oh, anything for you, my love.

Literarium terrarium.

What did you just do?

- She wanted to get out.
- Of the pond!

She's gonna tell everyone
that we're wizards.

Forget about that.
What about my crush on dean?

You gotta get over this kid.
He doesn't even have a library card!

- Well, neither do I.
- Yes, you do.

I signed you up for on

Oh, hey, gigi. The wannabes
have been looking for you.

Ah! Here it is. Alex's journal.

That's alex's journal?
You better not look in there.

Welli already did,
and I've seen everything.

It's amazingly vivid.

Gigi! Last thing you remembered,

We were chasing after you
to get alex's journal,

When you fell and
bumped your head. Boop!

You were completely passed out,
talking all kinds of nonsense

About being trapped
in a medieval world.

But really you just had
a horrible concussion.

And you, you were there.
And he was there.

D I... Was there.

What? I thought I was just
reading alex's journal

And everything was totally vivid.

That's exactly what
I'm trying to say.

- Gigi, give me back my journal.
- No. Alex, you are so b*rned.

Listen up, everyone.

I found out at miss
"too cool to care" alex

Has a journal full of
embarrassing secrets.

- She's making this up.
- No, she's telling the truth.

What are you doing? - I'm not
gonna give her the satisfaction.

Ok, so gigi saw my journal.

Where I draw pictures of
myself living like a princess

In a castle with my hello
pony blankie, my teddy bear

And a handsome knight who sure
looks a little bit like dean.

But it could have en anybody.

Oh, no, it could not have.

See? Alex has a crush
on dean moriarty!

Hey, I have a journal
with secrets in it.

I'll admit it. I like
prending I'm a princess.

But I'm also the kind of girl who
wouldn't be caught dead at prom,

Unless it was a zombie prom and
we all dressed up like zombies.

Oh, my gosh. I would so be
on the committee for that.

Bottom line, I'm hard to
figure out. Deal with it.

Yeah, and I have acrapbook with pictures
of the weather lady from channel nine.

Deal with that!

Seriously, you should keep that to yourself,
but thanks for trying.

Ok, so from this point on, everybody in
this school is done being humiliated by
gigi.

- Who's with me? Come on!
- I am!

This is still my school.
Clear the halls.

- Hi.
- Sorry if I embarrassed you.

Nope. I liked it.

The way you drew me,
I look pretty ripped.

That's because you are ripped,
dean, yeah! - Oh, yeah!

Thanks, guys.

Gigi thought it looked like you,
but I'm not that great of an artist.

I think you're pretty good,
russo. - At drawing?

If that's what you want
to be talking about.

Then, sure.

Nicely done, alex.

It always pays to be
proud of who you are.

I mean, that's what I do and
everyone respects me for it.

I respect you.

I justamily hate you.

I can live with that.

You kinda have to.

I know.

I'm ready for my temporary
tattoo. Just do it!

Harper, I told you, you didn't have
to do this if you didn't want to.

No, I have to prove
something to myself.

I have to conquer my fear.
Do it, dean, just do it.

He plays video games
with parental warnings!

Oh, it's so cold.
Get it off, get it off!

No, come on, come on.
Two more seconds, two more seconds.

And we're done.

Does it make me look too tough?

I don't know. It's the
first unicorn I've done.

Nah, I think it looks good.

Dean, you said I could
have the unicorn!