01x19 - Game Night

[bunniefuu]

Previously on
Brothers and Sisters:

- Are you running for president?
- Yes, I am.

Don't begrudge me being hungry
for adult company.

You're looking for something.
I'm not enough for you!

My husband kept a daughter from me
and now you hang out with her?

Think I wouldn't meet her?
She's my sister!

- I'm used to being the bad influence.
- There's a new black sheep in town.

You have a gay brother?

- Yeah.
- Is he single?

Kitty, do you want
both of our brothers to k*ll you?

Maybe you just haven't
found the right dude yet.

What if Chad was right,
if I pushed him away?

During the rescue,
when the helicopter... It's all a blur.

I let people believe what they wanted.
That I was a hero. I'm not.

These are the senator's college friends.
Just debrief everybody. No surprises.

- What kind of surprises?
- Bimbo eruptions,

drug experimentation, bad real estate
deals, not that he's done any.

Anything innocent that could be
twisted into a smear campaign.

Swiftboating.

Get our facts. We can refute
disinformation before it gets traction.

I hate politics.
Who are you vetting?

The family. I just spent two days
getting an earful from the ex-wife.

- Really? And that file would be...
- Encrypted.

- Oh, all right. Well, good thinking.
- Yeah. OK, well, enjoy.

Yeah. Yeah, whoopee.

So no dr*gs, no cheating on exams,
no hazing rituals.

Not that I saw.

Is there anything you can think of
that could embarrass the senator?

- Mmm, he wet the bed a few times.
- For real?

No.

That was a good one. Wet the bed...
Did he wet the bed?

Oh, yeah. Yeah.
Oh, and we used to take baths together.

That part I don't remember so well.
But, uh, I got pictures.

Pic... Do you mean that?

Was that some sort
of fraternity brother kind of thing?

No. It was more of
a brother-brother kind of thing.

I'm Jason McCallister.
Bobby's younger brother.

Oh, my God!
I guess I'm in the wrong office.

I was supposed to be interviewing
the fraternity brother and...

Oh, my God. Oh, my God.
You're the gay brother!

- You're Kitty.
- Yeah.

Oh, God, it's so great
to finally meet you.

It's so nice to meet you.

I looked for you at the announcement.
My brother said nice things about you.

Mm-hm, mm-hm.

- Did he tell you I have a gay brother?
- No. But congratulations.

Thank you. Thank you.
Now, this isn't official, but, um,

are you in a relationship now?

Are you crazy?
Didn't your brother give you

the "just 'cause I'm gay doesn't mean
fix me up with every gay guy" speech?

I am very discriminating.

What is the harm
if Kevin and Jason have coffee?

Our lives are complicated enough.

We already overlap romance and work.
Let's not bring our families into it.

I think it'll make my brother
comfortable with our relationship.

What about my relationship
with my brother?

From what I hear,
Kevin's a serial dater.

No. No, no. He just...
he just, you know, couldn't...

No, no, he was just
picking the wrong guys.

Please, Kitty! You used the phrase,
and I'm quoting here, "manwhore. "

- I did not.
- I want you to promise me,

I want you to say the words,
"no setups. "

No setups.

- Thank you. How did the vetting go?
- Fine.

Nothing of consequence. You know
you really do have loyal friends.

What?

I'm sorry, but I really feel like
I have to ask this.

The helicopter incident in Kuwait.
Does anybody else know?

Does anybody else know
what really happened?

No, just you.

You didn't tell your wife
or your brother or...

There was one other person in
the cockpit, my co-pilot, and he's dead.

Nora, look at the size of that thing.

- It must weigh pounds.
- That's why I brought you.

- You are my Sherpa.
- I see.

Nora, Saul, how are you?
What can I get for you?

I want that big, beautiful
Easter turkey right there.

- Oh, don't hate me, OK?
- Why?

The last two turkeys, both reserved.

- Who reserves meat?
- Hey, you know what?

We got some beautiful ducks.

- You'll love them.
- Ducks?

Ducks for Easter? Oh, fine.

- Fine.
- Who'd want duck?

- Duck is fatty, isn't it?
- This is what I wanted.

- Crap.
- What?

That insufferable Miranda Jones
and her husband.

- Don't look.
- Where? I'm not.

- She's not insufferable, she's fine.
- Nora?

- Miranda!
- Nora!

Oh, my goodness!

Good to see you!

Hey, Saul.

- Good to see you!
- Oh, it's been so long.

Are you getting Easter dinner?

Oh, well, it's not a dinner
so much as a convention.

Oh, yeah. All the kids are coming in.
The five of them. Grandchildren in tow.

- All of them.
- Fifteen?

Goodness.

I hope you weren't expecting turkey,
they have all gone quickly this year.

Oh, they always do.
That's why I make a reservation.

Oh.

Mrs. Jones, I'll have your turkeys
wrapped and ready to go in a minute.

- Thank you.
- Here's your duck.

You kids haven't even touched your duck.

Are these the same ducks
as in the park, Grandma?

No, sweetheart. No, no, no.
They're very different ducks.

But they were alive at one time, right?

Quack. Quack, quack, quack. Quack!

You don't have to eat your duck.
Please eat your rice and your potato.

The duck's touching
the rice and the potatoes.

- Paige Victoria.
- Wait a minute. This is duck?

Kids, pass your plates
to Uncle Tommy and Uncle Kevin?

Right. We'll sit and eat Huey and Dewey
with these two staring at us.

- Who wants hard-boiled eggs for dinner?
- Yeah!

- Let's go find the Easter baskets.
- I'm sorry, Mom.

No, no, no, no. I'm sorry.
It's Miranda Jones' fault.

The Joneses.
I haven't seen them for years.

Not since the Great Game Night Debacle.

- Oooh.
- Come on.

OK, I'm almost afraid to ask.
What's the Great Game Night Debacle?

No, it's Easter.
OK, do we have to talk about this?

Yeah.

The Jones family lived on Piedmont. We
used to play when we were growing up.

They had five kids,
all the same ages.

We called them the "Bizarro Walkers. "

- "Bizarro?"
- They were just like us, only evil.

But they were perfectly nice, Mother.

It's just that you developed some
sort of weird, unhealthy, psychotic,

- competitive relationship with them.
- I did not.

- Yes, you did.
- Yeah.

Picture the Bloods
and the Crips playing charades.

- That's what it was like.
- Kind of.

- What was the debacle?
- Before you answer,

clear all the breakables
out of Kitty's reach.

The score was tied. Kitty swore
up and down she knew the answer

to the final trivia question,
only she didn't and we lost.

It was a stupid game.

You all reacted as if I missed
the final field goal in the Super Bowl.

Yeah.

Kitty,
no one would've blamed you,

had you not insisted vehemently
that you knew the answer.

- I thought...
- What was that question?

Mmm, something to do with
President Gerald Ford.

Well, you know, Sarah, no.
I honestly don't recall.

Wait. Was that the night that Kitty
threw the trophy at your head?

- Yeah, that was it, stitches.
- No, it was six.

Six stitches.

- I tossed it to you...
- Threw it.

...and you couldn't catch it.

- That was a toss?
- Yeah. You know,

you secretly thank me for ending that
ridiculous Game Night tradition forever.

I'm gonna go get us some wine.

No way in hell. I don't do blind dates.

- I promise, he's your type.
- Attractive, emotionally unavailable?

- Uh, no, that would be you.
- Oh, yeah. Where did you meet him?

A mutual friend.

I don't like your friends.
What are you doing?

Programming his number
into your phone.

- You already know four Jasons?
- Yeah, CGN.

Common gay name.
Only outdone by Ryan and Phillip.

You are so weird.

OK. Jason M.

You have to call him,
I told him you would.

If you don't,
he's going to think I'm a jerk.

Better him than me.

Even minus the turkey, it's the company
that makes the holiday meal.

I have to say I am so happy that we are
all here. Everyone under the same roof.

- Thanks, Saul.
- Thank you, Saul.

- Not everyone.
- Justin.

- We could have invited her.
- Not Rebecca again.

Excuse me, Sarah,
but since you started this

by blabbing our family secrets,
maybe you could include her.

Oh, what are you suggesting I do?
Call her up and invite her to lunch?

- Is that difficult? She's our sister.
- Half.

Why am I the only one
getting this lecture?

Far be it for me to butt in, but I
do think it would mean a lot to her.

- Tommy?
- Yeah?

Oh, yeah. All right. Fine.

- Kitty will never agree to this.
- You're right.

When I go off to Iraq, she's
gonna have no ties with this family.

OK, somebody's gonna
have to reach out to her.

Just don't. Don't use
our fears about you going to w*r

to get us to embrace some stranger.

- She's not a stranger!
- Well, she is to me,

and I'm gonna keep it that way.

- Anybody want some more wine?
- Me.

- Hello?
- Rebecca, hey.

It's Sarah Whedon.

Walker.

- Oh, hey. Sarah, how are you?
- Hi.

Uh, listen, I know we got off
to a rocky start with our... um...

Hard to know what to call it,
isn't it?

Yeah. So I thought
we should get together.

If you're free, there's this
new teahouse in Westwood.

Supposed to be hip.
Tea's the new coffee and all that.

- Uh, as long as it's before midnight.
- Midnight?

Oh, I so need your life.

- Um, how's : ?
- Yeah, that sounds great.

- OK. Great.
- Bye.

- Hello?
- Hi. Rebecca, it's Kevin...

...Walker.
- Oh. Hi.

Look, I know you only know me
as a demented hair yanker,

but I can actually
appear to be quite normal sometimes.

- I'm sure.
- So I was wondering

if you'd want to get together sometime?
You know, maybe go see a movie?

Someplace public,
so you don't have to feel scared.

Wait. You want to take me
to a movie?

A great documentary
at the ArcLight.

It's... it's about meerkats.
They're fascinating animals.

They form these families and
they all have names. It's really...

- I'm scaring you again, aren't I?
- Can I get back to you?

Yeah, sure. Look, I'm about to go
into court, so can I call you back?

OK.

- This is a Walker, isn't it?
- Uh, yeah, it's Tommy.

Julia and I wanted
to have you over for dinner.

You know, it would save me a lot
of time if we just did this all at once.

- Sorry lunch was so short.
- No.

I'm happy to gobble down
a sandwich in minutes

if it means getting
even a little quality time with my girl.

- Yeah, Mom, we live together.
- Oh, yes, well...

I know...

- Hi!
- Nora! And Kitty!

- Oh, my God!
- Oh, wow! Mrs. Jones!

- Kitty! I don't believe it!
- Lizzie! Hi!

- Wow! Lizzie. Lizzie. Look at you!
- Lizzie.

I know. I know.
"Oops, I did it again!"

She's following in our footsteps.
Five children, number five.

Five? Five? Are you kidding me?
Five? Really? Wow!

Five just seemed so normal
when we were growing up,

but now it just seems so surreal.

Oh. Well, it helps
when you have a great husband.

Ken, Ken... prominent surgeon,
spectacular father.

Oh, my.
Did you ever meet him, Kitty?

- Well...
- Ken and Kitty used to date in school.

Oh! Oh, oh, oh, you did?

- Yeah. Just briefly.
- Yeah.

- How long?
- What, like, maybe three, two?

- Maybe three.
- Two and a half years maybe.

Oh. Oh, yeah. Well...

She's seeing a senator.
The Senator McCallister.

- Oh, Mom. Shush.
- I could've sworn he was married.

- Oh, well, he used to be.
- Was. No more.

- Oh!
- Oh.

Well, you've got him now.
That's the important thing.

- Yes.
- So you know...

When Gerald Ford d*ed,

we gathered around
the TV for the funeral service.

- The whole family.
- It was so sad.

I couldn't look at Betty Ford
without crying.

- I never could.
- Oh, we were all just weeping.

And then somebody
brought up Game Night

when you... when Kitty missed
the question about Gerald Ford.

- Right.
- And we all burst into laughter.

Oh, God. That was...
Do you remember? You were so funny!

You were so sure
you had the right answer!

You should have seen your face!
Very funny.

It was, wasn't it?

I tell you, after that,
the funeral wasn't sad.

- You cheered us right up.
- We stopped crying.

- Oh!
- Good. Good.

Glad I could help.
I miss Game Nights. Don't you?

- Yeah.
- We should do it again.

- Really?
- Absolutely. How about tomorrow?

- I can get the family together.
- Kenny's available.

- Great. Great.
- Fine.

Tomorrow. Our house.
How about : ?

- Seven. Yeah.
- That'll do. Yeah!

- Seven it is.
- Good. OK.

- We'll just see you then.
- See you then.

Bye!

OK, I never really had
brothers and sisters,

so I don't know how big families work.

Maybe this is the normal thing to do.
You know, you do things in a clump.

Like you all get together,
solve problems...

No, we make things worse
and then blame each other.

- That's pretty much how it works.
- Yeah.

Anyhow, I appreciate
you guys trying to include me.

But it's just feeling forced.
Like I'm a chore on your to-do list.

You know, "Go pick up the dry-cleaning.

Make connection with
half-illegitimate-sister Becca. "

Maybe we all could just
chill out a little bit.

OK, this is partially my fault probably.

- Partially?
- Yeah.

Hey! Oh, my gosh! I can't believe
you're here! This is perfect!

You're never going to believe
who I ran into.

Mom and I ran into
Lizzie and Miranda Jones at lunch

and they started yapping on
about old Game Night days

and about how they used to
kick our butts on a regular basis.

But it really got my goat.

So I said, "OK. OK, fine. Fine.
Rematch. Tomorrow night. "

You're never going
to believe what I got.

What is it? What...

What are you guys all doing here
in the middle of the day anyway?

Oh.

Kitty. This is Rebecca.

Oh. Oh, well, hi.

- Hi.
- It's really nice to meet you.

Wow. It looks like Justin
set up a little ambush here.

No, we thought you were working.

Yeah.

Yeah, so...

...what are you guys doing?

We just, you know...

Rebecca called a family meeting.

Rebecca, I'm so sorry
that this is so awkward.

That's all right.
I'm getting used to it.

- I think I'll go.
- No...

You know, I'm...

I really am sorry.

Wow. Wow. I didn't...

I didn't expect you
to look so much like my dad.

Yeah, I hear he was a great guy.

Hmm.

- Hello?
- Hey, Rebecca. It's Sarah.

- Sarah. Hi.
- I just had an absolutely genuine,

totally unforced,
-percent organic desire

to call you and see if you wanted
to come over for grilled cheese.

I think it's time you met
your niece and nephew.

You can't make him pink.
Dinosaurs aren't pink.

- She's a girl dinosaur.
- Oh.

- That looks pretty, Paige.
- There you go.

- Thank you.
- You're welcome.

Wow. That's a gorgeous guitar.
Is that yours?

- No, my husband's.
- Can I?

- Oh, sure. Go ahead.
- Yeah?

- Do you play?
- Barely.

I was in this, um... this silly garage
band back in Chicago for a while.

I was the singer,
I never knew what to do with my hands.

I picked up a guitar and learned enough
chords to fake it, but that's about it.

- Take it up again.
- I need a guitar first.

Joe has, like, of them in storage.
I'm sure he would lend you one.

- Wow.
- There you go. Chocolate fudge.

- Oh!
- Hey!

Hey. Joe, this is, uh... Rebecca.

Hey.

- The Rebecca.
- Mm-hm.

I'm sorry. I was... sorry.

- No, no, no, no. You go ahead.
- Yeah?

Rebecca was telling me
that she was in a band.

- Cool.
- Joe's a guitar teacher.

- Oh, no way.
- Mm-hm. There's a discount for family.

Or we're always looking for a
babysitter, if it's fair quid pro quo...

- Seriously?
- You can start tonight.

- It's Game Night.
- I already booked Natalie for : .

- Oh, you did?
- Yeah.

Oh, thanks for that.

- How'd you get out of Game Night?
- I don't think Kitty is really ready.

- That's not very nice of Kitty, is it?
- Oh.

You should be there.
You should come.

On blind dates, I generally
just leave my car idling at the curb.

Smart. Or better yet,

have a friend call your cell
minutes into the date.

If the guy's a zero, you just,
I don't know,

pretend there's been a terrible
accident, leave and go to the hospital.

Wow. Yeah, that's not obvious at all.

Right. You know,
I almost didn't call you.

Yeah? Why not?

Fix-up by my Republican sister?

She had some
Robert McCallister Kool-Aid.

Yeah. Yeah, she's relentless.

- Did she hit you up to work for him?
- No. No, I got myself off the hook.

I make it a rule never to work for
anyone who isn't as smart as I am.

I am so glad to hear you say that.

"Hi, I'm Robert McCallister.

I used to drive a helicopter,
vote for me. "

I gather you're not a fan.

There's the Neanderthal position
on gay marriage.

To be fair, he did admit he was wrong.

Yeah, after the vote which
makes him a weasel in my book.

- How did you get so cynical?
- Well, what other response is there?

The guy's a mental midget,
like you said.

- No, I didn't.
- OK, well, whatever it is you did say.

- I thought you said he was dumb.
- No.

OK, you know, I've had,
like, three double-sh*t lattes,

so I may be having a teensy case
of caffeine-rage at the moment.

You have to admit, McCallister and his
ilk are what's wrong with this country.

- Hm, I got a call coming in.
- I didn't hear it ring.

It's on vibrate.

Oh, excuse me.
The hospital calling.

There's been an accident?

- Wow, I've got to go.
- What? I'm sorry. Did I offend you?

You take care.

Whoa, Roger got fat.

I played high school football with him.
He lettered all four years.

- I thought you used to carry his jock.
- Funny.

Look, there's your classmate,
Doug Jones.

- Didn't he invent that Web site?
- Do YouWantToDoMe. Com.

He's probably getting a lot.
He's worth millions.

Bastard.

Here, put these on quick.

Oh, God.
It smells like attic.

I think somebody used this
to wax the car.

I didn't have time to wash them. How
did they get T-shirts made in one day?

- Mom, clearly they're not human.
- Sorry, Mom.

- See, you're not wearing one either.
- No, I couldn't get it over my boobs.

- That happens when you have kids.
- All right.

- Sorry.
- Fine. Fine.

- Apparently Stephanie's had kids.
- There is no way they're real.

I don't care.

- She did not have them in high school.
- Still not caring.

It's really festive. Oh, oh, oh.
Oh, sweetie. You remember Donna.

- Sure.
- Donna and her partner

were married recently
in a civil union.

- We sent you an announcement.
- Congratulations.

I haven't seen you at any
of the HRC meetings lately.

I know. I've been kind of busy.

Or the Gay Task Force meetings,
or the GLSEN fundraiser last month,

- or the GLAAD dinner last week.
- I'm not as gay as you.

- Could I talk to you?
- Yes.

- Excuse us.
- Sorry.

Didn't you and Donna
use to date in high school?

We were each other's beards at prom,

which went slightly better
than the date Kitty set up.

- Where is she?
- Upstairs trying on all her clothes.

- How hard is it to dress for charades?
- For Kitty, it's hard.

Where's Kitty?
Senator McCallister is here.

- He's so gorgeous!
- I know.

- I can't believe Kitty is dating him.
- She is.

- How...
- Oh, my...

- Let's...
- OK.

She invited McCallister to Game Night?

My God, still trying to show Lizzie
that she has the better boyfriend?

It was my idea.

Mom, you and Miranda get
on the floor and wrestle.

Make life easier and faster for us.

Don't be silly.
Let's go watch them look at him.

- Tuck in your shirt.
- All right!

- Interesting fashion, but...
- That's true.

- Nora!
- Senator. So nice to see you.

- Kevin.
- Robert.

- You've met Lizzie and Miranda?
- Yes, we just met.

Wonderful. I'm so glad.
Oh! Hello, there. This is Ken.

- He's, uh, Lizzie's husband.
- Ken Baker, M.D. Nice to meet you.

Well, great to meet you.

Robert.

Oh, hello, my darling.

Kitty.

Kitty. Kitty. Kitty.

I just got off the phone
with my brother, Jason.

- Oh. No, no, no. This is not the time.
- What? That's...

You didn't... no.
You didn't do that.

- You didn't. No, no. You didn't.
- I'm sorry. Excuse us.

- Please tell me you didn't.
- Yes, Kevin,

it seems that she fixed you up with
my brother unbeknownst to both of us

and, apparently, it did not go well.

- Yeah, you could say that.
- Really? Well, what happened?

- Hmm.
- He didn't wanna talk about it.

He didn't wanna cause trouble.

OK, look. I'm sorry, OK?
But could we just table this, please?

I'm going to go get
something to eat, you can...

...strangle each other.

- No, calm down.
- No. I told you...

...months ago I did not want to meet
his stupid gay brother!

- Yes, you are right.
- I am going to k*ll you.

- Kevin.
- I'm going to k*ll you. No, I'm not.

I'm beyond that, OK?
You're dead to me.

- Hi. It's great to see you.
- Sorry. I hope I'm not late.

Uh, no. Um...

Nora, who is that? Oh, don't tell me.
You brought in a ringer.

No. Actually that's William's
illegitimate daughter,

my children's half-sister, Rebecca.

Rebecca! Lovely girl.

Oh. Well, we don't have one of those.

- I know.
- One of you has to sit out a round.

Oh. Well, that's fine, Miranda.

As long as you don't mind my family
kicking your family's sorry ass.

- OK.
- Would you care for a buffalo wing?

First of all,
we want to welcome the Joneses!

It is indeed my pleasure
to take over for William

as your host tonight for Game Night.

Where's Kitty? Didn't she put
this stupid thing together?

In the kitchen
begging McCallister not to leave.

The current champion, the Joneses,
choose the games for tonight.

And keeping with tradition,
they've chosen to open with charades.

- Yes!
- And they're going to end with trivia.

But there were some very unusual
choices for the middle games, you see.

- They are...
- Twister and Operation!

Are you kidding me?
What are we, ?

- I'm not doing this.
- Yes, you are.

Come on, Mom.
We gotta motivate us.

Walker! Walker! Walker! Walker!

- Whoo!
- Go, Walkers!

Oh, my God.

The women in this family
are starting to scare me.

Movie! Four words.
First word. Sounds like...

- Sister. Mister.
- Woman.

- Female.
- A trickster! Backstabber! Shrew!

- Kevin Walker!
- No talking, Nora!

Kitty! Kitty! Kitty! Kitty!
It sounds like Kitty.

- Is it itty bitty?
- Fitty. Fitty-Fitty cent!

Second word.
Sounds like gritty. Gritty.

- Kitty?
- Third word! Third word!

- sh**ting. m*rder.
- Die, Kitty, Die.

Whatever.

- Bang!
- Chitty Chitty Bang Bang!

Yes!

Walker! Walker! Walker!

OK. Go.

- Book. Whole idea.
- Shhh.

- All Quiet on the Western Front!
- Yes!

What?

Hey, Tommy! Tommy! Come on!
Go, Tommy! Go, Tommy!

- Come on!
- Movie.

- Two words.
- Monster.

- Frankenstein! Incredible Hulk!
- Razorback!

- Frankenstein!
- Night of the Living Dead!

Creature From the Black Lagoon.

- Alligator!
- Crocodile Dundee.

Jaws! Jaws! Jaws!

- Do something else!
- Time's up!

- Alligator! Alligator!
- Time's up.

- What? What was that?
- A dinosaur. Jurassic Park.

- What?
- That was a dinosaur?

That's a dinosaur.
That's a dinosaur. God.

You could've done "park,"
you know, "rhymes with. "

Where was the "Jurassic"?
There's lots of things you could do.

Having fun?

I don't know. When I'm around
all of them, it's just like...

They got this rhythm going on
and you're the extra b*at.

Spoken like a true musician.

Or someone who's spent a lot of time
with the Walkers.

What kind of music do you like?

Um, alt-rock.

A little jazz
if it's not too fusion-y.

Pretty much everything, except rap.
I can't stand rap.

That's right. Now we're talking.

Sarah mentioned you don't even have
a guitar of your own to practice on.

Mm-mm.

I've got this, uh,
little addiction problem...

...Sarah doesn't know about.
It's called guitar collecting.

I hate to break it to you,
but she knows about it.

Uh-uh. She doesn't. She thinks I
only have like guitars. Yeah.

- Come by, I'll let you borrow one.
- Really?

I don't have time to play them all.
Do me a favor.

- Hardly, but OK.
- Sweet. It's a deal.

Right hand green.

How come I get stuck playing Operation
with Dr. Demento

and Justin gets to do that?

Oh, those things are rock hard.
He could get a concussion.

Left hand blue.

- Die, Kitty, Die?
- Yeah.

Movie about a cat who sticks her nose
where it doesn't belong,

- gets run over by a bus.
- OK. OK, Kevin. All right.

I'm sorry. My God.
Could you please just let it go?

Hell no. You blithely push me
into a situation

where I unknowingly
make a jackass of myself.

Don't tell me when to get over it.

- I think you're overreacting a bit.
- I trashed your boyfriend.

What did you say?

Phony, Neanderthal, weasel
who ruined America. That kind of thing.

Is that what you think?

When I try to impress a man
with my liberal "cred"

and I'm under the impression
he agrees. Yeah.

All right. I've made my appearance.
I've met all the Joneses,

and I've kept up with them.
So I'm going to go.

OK, wait. Wait just a second. Um...

...Kevin has something
that he wants to say.

- Me?
- Well, yeah. OK, I.

- Yeah.
- I apologize for what I did.

Kevin is going to call Jason
and apologize.

No, don't.

My brother made it crystal clear to me

he doesn't want to see him again
and frankly, Kevin,

- I'm inclined to agree with him.
- Why?

Go ahead, senator.
Say it. No, say it.

Say how you don't think
I'm good enough for him.

- OK. I don't.
- Yeah.

OK, just a second here.
My brother, Kevin,

is smart and good
and kind and generous

- and thoughtful and handsome...
- And handsome.

Yes, he is handsome.
Jason happens to be a nice boy.

But frankly, I think
Kevin was slumming it a bit.

Your apology is not working out, so I'm
going to choose to ignore most of it.

And I will see you tomorrow.
Good night.

Good night.

- Bye. Good to see you.
- You're leaving. You too.

- Hey, has anyone seen Joe?
- All right!

I won my Twister match
against Stephanie.

When I say against,
I mean, like, my head was...

- What's the matter with you guys?
- I don't know. I walked in to find Joe.

Oh, Joe's outside with Rebecca.
I think she feels a little left out.

It wasn't a good idea to invite her
to an event where she's an outsider.

Oh, Justin didn't invite her. I did.

Oh, well, Sarah, maybe next time you
could alert me when you invite somebody

without asking me.

Yeah, it's thoughtless not to tell Kitty
all the details of a social engagement.

I mean, that's really rude.

I just tied the score by b*ating
that freaking surgeon at Operation

and you didn't watch.

Sorry, too tied up
with personal problems.

Oh, God. Justin, please.

Yeah, for one minute
drop the superior attitude?

You know, I'm sorry if it seems
a little petty to me, OK?

If you get called to Iraq,
it would change...

- Oh, stop using that!
- Listen, I'm not using it, OK?

Quiet! Quiet! Shh! Quiet!

What is the matter? Everyone can hear!
What are you thinking?

It's the enemy out there, not in here.
We're on the same side!

- Not in here bickering with each other!
- Nora?

- Yes.
- Hi! Is everything all right in here?

- Oh, yes. Fine.
- We're setting up for trivia.

Yes, we're just having
a private team meeting.

Chalk talk. Just discussing strategy.
We can't let you hear.

- Strategy.
- Cover your ears.

OK.

Go on out now.
I'll get you in a minute. Yeah.

Please tell me what the hell
is going on in here.

Sorry, Mom, I'm trying to tell Kitty
if she scrapes off the icicles,

- she might actually like Rebecca.
- I don't deserve that.

I am not icicley. I am just careful.
And you know what?

You have to forgive me if I am
too tired of dealing with Dad's mistakes

to take the latest one out for tea.

Enough. All right? Enough.

Now, listen to me. We have
a serious round of trivia to play.

And I'm telling you right now,
if we do not win,

I will make you regret it the rest
of your lives. You know that I can.

So, please, all of you...
all of you, follow me.

All of you. Walkers. Walkers.

Walkers. Walkers. Walkers.

- Come on, Daddy.
- OK. OK.

"What is the medical term

for the surgical procedure commonly
known as 'a nose job'?"

- Rhinoplasty!
- Correct!

That's my girl! Beautiful and smart.

OK, this is us.
All right, do or die. Let's go.

Everybody ready? OK.

"In William Shakespeare's
Romeo and Juliet,

what is the last name
of the female title character?"

- Capulet.
- Capulet or Montague?

Capulet. It's Capulet.
Romeo is Montague, Juliet is Capulet.

No, no. No mother would ever
call her daughter Juliet Capulet.

No, no, no, no, no, no! No! No! No!
I'm right! It's Shakespeare!

You guys, please trust me. I'm right.

Oh, I think we may be having a repeat
of Kitty's famous last finale.

Yes, I think so!

Oh, shut up, Lizzie!

I did the balcony scene
in acting class.

- Well, what is it? What is it?
- I don't know if I remember, but, um...

If you had to guess...

Just take a deep breath
and go very slow. You can remember.

- It's Capulet.
- I think it's Montague.

- Right.
- I'm sorry, Kitty.

Just...

Oh, God, it isn't. You guys,
please trust me! Trust me!

I know this! I know it's Capulet!
I know it! I know it!

When you get competitive and stubborn,
my red flags go up. I back Rebecca.

Look, we got a - sh*t.
Rebecca's got a feeling.

- Go with her.
- Going with Rebecca.

- I can't believe it.
- All right.

Rebecca, it's yours. Take it.

OK. Montague. Final answer.

Capulet.

Jones! Jones! Jones!
Jones! Jones! Jones!

Rebecca, wait. I hope you
don't feel bad about the game.

I mean, please.
I mean, you shouldn't.

It's funny because whenever I'm around
all of you, no matter what, I have...

...this urge to apologize.

Like I've somehow spoiled something.

And tonight hasn't changed that.

Mmm.

No, you have nothing to apologize for.

Oh, and just so you know,
you're pretty much an amateur

when it comes to losing Game Night.

I'm not sure if Justin told you about
how... Oh, he did? Of course he did.

Yeah, well, that was ten plus years ago
and I'm still not over it.

Well, that's kind of sick.

Yeah. Yeah, yeah.

So my advice to you,

for what it's worth...

...let it go.

So did you have any fun at all tonight?

No. Not really.

No, me neither. Mm-mm.

Well, I've got to meet
some friends, so...

At : ? Oh, my God,
I wish I had your life.

Sarah said the same thing
the other night.

Which is funny because
I want the one you guys had.

Almost got it. Try the F chord again.

Uh, yeah. No, we try
and discourage that.

I'm reeling that
there are more than three chords.

Well, you have nice, long fingers.

You'll learn new riffs
by the end of the summer.

They kind of feel like giant
sausages at the moment.

- You going back to school in the fall?
- Um, no. I think I'm done with school.

- And Chicago. And the loser boyfriend.
- Three strikes and you're out.

Well, the ex-boyfriend teaches at the
school, and the school's in Chicago.

- Teaches?
- Yeah. Yeah, he's older.

- A lot older, actually.
- How much older are we talking about?

- Probably older than you.
- How old do you think I am?

I don't know, ?

All right, let's just leave it at that.

- Have you recovered from last night?
- Yeah, yeah. I mean...

...I can handle them individually. It's
just when you get them all together...

- They're like a force of nature.
- Yeah.

I used to try and figure out
the crazy dynamic.

Who's mad at who,
who knows what secret. I gave up.

I think that they have some kind of gene
mutation that won't let outsiders in.

You know, to be fair,
they're fantastic in a crisis.

When Paige was sick,
they were incredible.

It's when they're at their best.
But the rub is,

you have to be in a bad place
to feel loved.

Yeah.

Yeah, they were really sweet
when I lost that game last night.

Good.

Hm.

Just remember,
if you ever feel intimidated,

not one of them has a musical bone
in their body. They're all tone-deaf.

- Show them your F minor ninth.
- Which one is that?

That one is...

- I thought this was cheating?
- Oh, yeah. It is.

But there are only six people on the
planet who can make this chord, it's OK.

And lucky for you, I am one of them.

Great.

- Not bad.
- It was all right.

William paid for that trophy
I'm getting it back.

I wish we had a dog. At least
we'd look like we had a purpose.

No. We're out for a lovely walk.
Nothing suspicious about that.

- Children of the Corn.
- Yeah.

Hi! Hi. I'm Mrs. Walker

- and this is Ms. Walker.
- Hi, we're friends of your mommy's.

- Is she home?
- Uh, she went to the store.

Oh.

How about your grandmother?
Is she home?

Yeah. She's taking a nap.
You want me to go get her?

No, no. No, not necessary.
We're just here to pick up our trophy.

- Do you happen to know where it is?
- I know where it is!

You do? Oh, well, that's wonderful!

Can you run in there
quick as a bunny and get it for us?

Wait, Gwyneth.

I don't think we should.

- Oh.
- No, Gwyneth, it's fine.

It's fine. It's really fine.
It's actually ours.

- Run, run, run, run, run!
- Faster!

Very quick as a little rabbit.
A little rabbit woman she is. Yeah.

- So, what's your name?
- Ken Junior.

- Mm.
- Ah.

I know your father.

When we were in high school,
he used to drink a lot of beer.

- Does he still drink a lot of beer?
- Kitty!

What? I'm just chatting.

What about your grandmother?
She drinks a lot?

You ever seen her
with bandages over her face?

- Mother.
- All right.

It's a question. I'm just asking.

- Here it is!
- There she is!

- Go, Gwynie! Go! Run, run, run!
- Faster. Yay!

- Oh, my goodness! What a good job!
- Look at that!

- Give her a dollar.
- A what?

Give her a dollar!
She's done a very good thing.

For God's sake. You are unbelievable.
A dollar. Like she needs a dollar.

- Hey, what about me?
- Sorry, kid.

Maybe next time you'll be more helpful.

- Mom. Mom, let's get out of here.
- Yeah. OK.

I don't remember it being this heavy!

- Justin.
- Hey.

What are you doing here?

Ah, you sounded awful on the phone.

You're upset.
You want to tell me what happened?

No. I'm fine. It's really no big deal.

If it's not a big deal
then you can tell me.

Look, come on,
I'm your... your big brother.

This is the job description.
I help you when something's wrong.

If I tell you,
promise me you won't tell anybody.

Yeah.

- You need to promise, swear to me.
- OK, I promise.

Rebecca, what happened?

It's just that Joe...

- Joe who?
- Sarah's husband, Joe.

Joe? Our Joe?

Well, I was over there earlier.

OK, what?

And... and no one was there. And we
were just talking and hanging out.

And he was showing me
some stuff on the guitar and he just...

Rebecca, what happened?

He kissed me.

What?