01x04 - Malum in Se

Episode transcripts for the TV show "Gaslit". Aired: April 24, 2022 - present.*
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Modern twist on the 1970s Watergate scandal centering around untold stories and forgotten characters of that time.
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01x04 - Malum in Se

Post by bunniefuu »

You really think
that when Martha sees his face

in the newspaper, she won't call

one of her journalist friends?

[PETER] Your husband's
instructions were to have you stay here.

I'm keeping her away
from phones and newspapers.


- [WINNIE] Martha?
- Oh, God.

- Can you hear me?
- Get away from me!

- Martha!
- Aah!


Please don't hurt me. Please don't...


[MAGALLANES] I don't see him
being in charge of this, do you?

[LANO] This is definitely
a professional outfit...

Big bank roll, dry runs...

- Lookouts.
- [MAGALLANES] Lookouts?

You're saying Liddy
might be our man on this?

There are two men here to see you

- from the FBI.
- Okay.

[LIDDY] It's only a matter of time

before they bring me in... Hunt too.

Nixon fired Mitchell.

[MITCHELL] When I heard what
they did to you out here.

I submitted my resignation.

That loudmouth b*tch wife of his

was becoming too much of a liability.

You're at the center of this now.

[DEAN] What's a stewardess from L.A.

doing on a D.C. dating service?

[MO] Why don't you just
go and take care of

whatever this is that's going on

that you need to take care of?

This box contains
highly sensitive material

that could be very damaging
to the president.


The bureau's handled.

Rose Mary specifically said

president really wants
to get to know me.

[CHUCKLING] Look out, Strom Thurmond,

there's a new swingin' d*ck in town.



♪ ♪


[SINGERS] ♪ Hey, hey, hey ♪

- [MAN] Yo, lookin' good!

- [WOMAN] Morning, Mr. Dean.
- [DEAN] Morning.

- Gentlemen.
- How are ya?

[SINGERS] ♪ Hollywood ♪

- [DEAN] Ladies.
- [SECRETARY] Good morning.

Have a lovely day, Mr. Dean.

- [SINGER] ♪ Ah ah ♪
- [SINGSONG] Good morning.

[ROSE MARY] Hey, sweetie, how are you?

All the better for seeing you.
Is d*ck in?

He's been expecting you.

He's just finishing a meeting
with Mr. Butterfield.


- Gentlemen.
- Hey there, sport.

- Warmed him up for ya.

- How's that Porsche?
- Not selling it to you

anytime soon.

- Sir.
- John.

Thank you.

[SINGERS] ♪ Whatcha got to say ♪

Thank you, Rose Mary.

♪ ♪

♪ Say hey ♪

♪ Hey hey ♪

♪ ♪

♪ Whatcha got to say ♪


[SINGERS] ♪ Hollywood ♪


♪ Hollywood swingin' ♪


[SINGERS] ♪ Hollywood... ♪


[NIXON] He didn't know how
it was gonna be handled,

though, with Dahlberg
and the Texans and so forth?

Who is the assh*le that did it, then?

Is it Liddy? Is that the fellow?

He must be a little nuts.


[NIXON] I mean, he just
isn't well screwed on, is he?

Isn't that the problem?

[HALDEMAN] But he was under... pressure,

apparently, to get more information.

And as he got more pressure,

he pushed the people harder
to move harder on...

[NIXON] Pressure from Mitchell?

[HALDEMAN] Apparently.


♪ ♪












♪ ♪



- Aah... aah...
- Don't f*ck' move.











[ANNOUNCER] CBS news coverage

of the Republican National Convention.

Reporting from CBS News

convention headquarters in Miami Beach,

here is correspondent Walter Cronkite.

A coalition of protest groups
planned demonstrations aimed at

blocking the entrance of delegates

to provide a confrontation

that could not be ignored by the media

at the same time that...

Well, Miami Beach...

[MITCHELL] Mosquitoes down there so big,

you can tame 'em and keep 'em as pets.

Remember that, Martha?

- Hmm?
- ...area

- What was that?
- ...and that keen access

Yeah, the mosquitoes.

- In Miami.
- The idea is simple.

Right. Size of Oldsmobiles.

You feelin' all right?

[MARTHA] It's nothin'.

Well... well, I'm gonna call Dr. Feldman

and make an appointment for you.

You haven't been sleeping well.

It's this awful town.

[MARTY] We could go back to New York.

- Marty.
- [MARTY] Why not?

Dad got fired from his job
at the White House.

- We can move anywhere.
- Daddy did not get fired.

Daddy left voluntarily to spend
more time with his family.

[MARTY] That's not what they said on TV.

They said that you were held hostage

- and it was all Dad's fault.
- [MITCHELL] Rubbish.

And that the whole thing was a farrago.

[MITCHELL] Farrago?

- A real b*tch.
- Marty!

Language, young lady.

California was not your daddy's fault.

No reason to dwell on the past.
We just gotta... move on.

Dr. Feldman. Yep.

- That's what you need.

And what do we say

if we are asked questions by the press?

No comment.

[ANNOUNCER] ...can make you
feel like your old self again.


[REPORTER] Is it true you
were held against your will?

[REPORTER] ...start talking
about what happened at the...



♪ ♪


It's fine, just a...

a misunderstanding with a bodyguard.

[WINNIE] Diazepam.

Martha, a sedative is not
gonna help your nerves.

The only thing
that's gonna help is actually

talking about what happened
to you in California.

Mitchell is outta politics.
We got out clean.

Why would I let one little
innocent mistake ruin all that?

You called me, screaming.

And now I am tellin' you
I wanna move on.

[WINNIE] This is the man
who did this to you.

I know you don't wanna say
anything more to the press,

but he's out there telling
his side of the story,

and he is not moving on.

He's saying that
none of it ever happened.

If you keep quiet, other people
will do the talking for you.



♪ ♪


[SIRICA] In case number B A- ,

conspiracy to commit burglary
and wiretapping...

how do the defendants plead?

[ATTORNEY] Not guilty, Your Honor.


♪ ♪

[LIDDY] I'll make this brief.

We're in a holding pattern.


But the expectation is

we're the f*re line
for the administration.

Sirica's a hangin' judge.

We could be lookin' at ,
maybe years here

for a B&E.


Shouldn't we have assurances
from the president?


Or a pardon?

Sorry. [SNIFFLES] Pollen season.

I'll see what I can do. Anything else?

[HUNT] The bureau... Hear they got

a couple of, um, agents
pokin' around, so I don't...

Don't you worry about the FBI.
We got a man on the inside.




Bigger than Langley.

[LANO] It's giant.

Oh, so the, uh...

this CIA theory of yours.

[LANO] Well, it's all in the report,

but, uh, several of
the burglars have been

attached to agency operations
over the years...

Especially Hunt and McCord.

[MAGALLANES] And Hunt... get this.

He had an office in the White House

- with a safe in it.
- [FELT LAUGHS] Wha...

You're kidding me. All right,
we-we have to look into that.

Have you met Mark Felt?

He's the guy who wanted my job,

but now he just hangs around the office

like the Ghost of Christmas Past.

[FELT] Just performing my duties

- as associate director, sir.
- Ugh, just behold the spirit.

He wears the chains he forged in life!

[FELT] That's actually...

Marley's ghost... said that.


In-in the story.

Marley was Ebenezer Scrooge's partner...

Well, Hunt's office at the White House

may indicate that there
are higher-ups involved,

but can you... corroborate any of this?

Not yet. We would need to
interview John Dean

and the leadership at CREEP.

That means Mitchell, uh,
McGruder, uh, the...

[GRAY] 'Kay, I'm gonna
stop you right there.

This is not the Gestapo.

We can't go swinging
at the former attorney general

or the-the White House counsel
like a piñata, okay?

So no Dean, no Mitchell,

no McGruder thereof.

Well, sir, that's why
we thought we'd start

by interviewing the lower level
employees first...

Anyone not in a leadership role.

Copy boys, secretaries,


Do you have a problem with that, Pat?

No... Mark, I don't have
a problem with that.


This is a giant frickin' problem.

I don't know what we're gonna do.

I mean, we're screwed.
We are so screwed!

What the f*ck, Pat? You...

I specifically told you to keep
your agents away from CREEP.

It's not my fault.

They were relentless...
I had to give them something

or it would have looked
suspicious in front of Felt.


[SIGHS] So they're comin' today.

Wh-which agents?

Lano and the other one.

It's only a matter of time before
they figure out what's going on.

I-I can't call them off.

They're your agents, Pat.

You're the director of the f*cking FBI!

I-I don't appreciate that language.

Look... I gotta go, okay?
I'll deal with it.

- I don't like that langua...
- [JOHN] I said

I will deal with it.

Well, that didn't sound handled.


...two of Pat Gray's agents
are coming by today

to conduct interviews at CREEP.

- What?
- Yeah. He said he can't

credibly call 'em off
without raising suspicion.

The guy's f*cking useless.

Well, of course he is.
He's one of our appointees.

Well, I'll-I'll S*c Moore on it.

Whoa, whoa. Dickie Moore,
the little leg-f*ck

that follows you around
like a sentient herpe?

No, absolutely not.
You're handling this.

No, th-the president
wants me to sit next to him

- on the flight to Miami.

The president would want you
to see this through.

Trust me.

And try to wrap things up quick.

One of our big donors, Ken Dahlberg,

is throwing a convention party
tomorrow night

at the Shore Club,
and he wants you there.

Me? For... f-for what?

He's one of the guys that
funded Operation Gemstone.

So you play your cards right,

he'll finance your
presidential run one day.

Don't worry.

We'll save you a seat on Air Force One
for the return flight.

Look at this.

A right triangle
between the participants.

That's gonna unbalance the subject

and give us candid responses.

I'd go equilateral. It...

Like this here.

It sets the subject at ease.
It opens 'em up.

Nice and easy.


One adjustment.

Equilateral in appearance...

scalene in reality.

[DEAN] Gentlemen.

I don't believe we've officially met.

You must be Agent Lano
and young Agent Magallanes.

So you mind if I pull up a chair?

Mr. Dean, we didn't know
you'd be joining us today.

Ah, well, I'll be representing
all of the employees

for the Committee
to Re-elect the President.

- As of when?
- Today.

Just now. A second ago.

All right. Fine.


Miss Abrontes.

Thanks for coming in today.
How are you doing?

Uh, let me stop you right there.

Miss Abrontes
has agreed to this interview

on the condition that it be
fast, fair, and focused.

If we could keep the questions
to a professional nature,

that'd be fantastic.

Very well.

Miss Abrontes,

wh... what would you say

the organizational
mentality is like here

at the Committee to Re-elect?

Miss Abrontes doesn't feel
comfortable answering questions

dealing with the general
hierarchical makeup

of the Committee to Re-elect.

If we can keep the questions to
specific empirical fact,

I'd appreciate that greatly.


What kinda work did you do for
the campaign in the past,

Mrs. Frankel?

I'm sorry, have we stipulated

what range of dates
is meant by "the past"?

So for the entire time
that you've worked

for the Committee for the
Re-election of the President...

[DEAN] He hasn't.

- He... what?
- He hasn't ever worked

at the Committee for the
Re-election of the President.

He's worked at the Committee
to Re-elect the President.



Thank you.

"Don't answer that."
So don't answer anything?


[LANO] Is he doodling?

This guy's doodling.


A-are we done?

'Cause I gotta use the head
somethin' awful.

Can I use the head?

What are you asking him for?

He's not conducting
the interview... we are.


[WHISPERING] Yeah, go.


♪ ♪


[IN SPANISH] Mr. Gonzalez,
have you seen anyone unusual

working in the office
in the past few weeks?


[IN SPANISH] Have you seen any
suspicious documents being shredded?

Money perhaps? Sequential bills?


[MAGALLANES] Señor Gonzalez...

[IN SPANISH] Do you sleep
hanging by the feet like a bat,

or continuously swimming like a shark?

[IN ENGLISH] Yeah, okay.

[DEAN] You can go.

[MAGALLANES] f*ck me. f*ck, f*ck, f*ck.

Tony, Daniel, Ronald, Ruth,
Dan, Roni, Bill,

Kathy, Elaine, Sally...

Judy Hoback.

And, Miss Hoback,
you have no further information

on campaign funds in your role
as bookkeeper.

Is that correct?

Nothing comes to mind.

- That's a big surprise.
- [MAGALLANES] And, uh...

what are the dates on that?

Just so we know when the, uh,

nothing of interest occurred.

If it's all right
with your counsel, of course.

Of course it is. Thanks for asking.


That was... February of this year

to the present, I believe.

Other than the time in which
I was working for Mr. Liddy.


- That's all the time we have.
- [LANO] Hold on.

You worked for G. Gordon Liddy?

Wait a minute... hey,
just-just give us a minute.

- ...busy afternoon.
- [MAGALLANES] No, no, no, no.

- One minute here.
- We've been more than


Now, if you'd like to submit
more questions,

I would encourage you
to do so in writing.

That is, unless you'd like me to

take the matter up
with Director Gray personally.

- That won't be necessary.
- [DEAN] No?


Thank you so much for all your time.

No, thank you.

Thank you.

Miss Hoback.


Oh, and, Agent Magallanes.

Don't forget to get your
parking ticket validated.

Sometimes people forget

and they end up having to pay a fortune.

Right. Thank you for the tip.
I appreciate it.


Slimy f*ck.

Look at him.


Right. Where the f*ck do we go now?


[MOORE] So how'd it go with
those FBI buttholes?

Should've seen them...
Terrible haircuts,

cheap polyester suits.

They have no idea
with whom they are f*cking.

Stop it, man, you're making me horny.

[DEAN LAUGHS] Yeah, I bet.

Hey, uh, how's the convention?

It's great. You know, they sat
me in your seat, actually,

- next to the big guy.
- [JOHN] Are you-are you

f*cking kidding me? Then wow. [LAUGHS]

Mm-hmm. Nixon himself.

And let me tell ya something.
He is my kinda assh*le.

We talked for, like, a hour.
I started in about bowling.

He lit up like a schoolgirl.

Wow, really?
That... well, that is groovy.

Congrat... congrats.

Hey, when are you gonna get down here?

Because, uh, I heard Ken Dahlberg

is having a big party at the Shore Club.

- Gonna be a wild scene.
- Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

I know, I know, I'm, uh,
I'm catching the red-eye.

Okay, good, good.
Just, uh, stop by my room.

We will get ripped
before Agnew's speech, okay?

Yeah. Hey, uh, do me a favor.

Don't f*ck all the birds, all right?

Save some for me, okay?


- Hell yeah, you horny dog.

Get your ass down here
and get that p*ssy, buddy.


- Ow-owooo!

Owwoooo! [LAUGHS]






All right, well,
I'll talk to you later, man.

Yeah, I'll see you soon. Bye.


Mm. Hmm.


Hey there, stranger. What's happening?

Oh, sorry, who is this?

What? It's... it's John.

John... John Dean.

Sorry, am I... am I
catching you at a bad time?


Um... I just cut myself.

I'm trying to figure out
a can opener, and I...

[JOHN] Is it a General Electric?

- Is it what?
- [JOHN] The can opener.

'Cause if-if it's not,
you-you should throw it out.

You should get a General Electric.

They've got a... a safety guard.
I've had mine for years.

It's really, really great.

Are you-are... what is happening?

Are you selling can openers now?


No, um, I'm sorry, um...

how-how are you?

I'm so good, I'm... I'm great.

How are you? How's Miami?

Miami is...

nice, it's-it's nice.

I don't have any time to myself.

I've been... tagging along
with the president.


[JOHN] Yeah, I rode with him
on the-on the plane,

you know, the...
[EXHALES] ...Air Force One.

I-I know what Air Force One is.

[WHISPERING] I'm a f*cking
flight attendant.

[JOHN] Sat next to him
at the convention last night,

you know, talked about bowling.

You know what?
I'm actually busy right now.

Is there something specific you needed?

Yeah, well, actually, I-I-I'm gonna be

stopping through L.A.
on my way to Shanghai

on the th and just wondered
if I could take you to lunch.

Yes! No.



- Oh.
- [MO] I'm going sailing.

With... Billy.

We're going to Catalina.


Yeah. He's a friend from work.

Right, sure, yeah, okay.

Well, you know, maybe another time.

Maybe. Maybe another time.

Hey, hey, before you go, before you go,

I just wanna say, um...



Oh, for f*ck's sake.



[SPEAKER] It's not my purpose here

to recount the great changes

that have been made
by the Republican Party

under President Nixon. It...

Hey, I was watching that.

No more politics, darling.

No more inaugurations,
no more conventions.

Just blowin' up balloons.
And the red ones, please.

Oh, I'm sorry.

Could you bring the gold
down over the blue?

I want 'em together.

Yes, and then raise the whole
thing up a little bit.

Exactly. That's nice.


Did somebody deliver
these pills from the pharmacy?

Uh, yes, uh,

Dr. Feldman called.

He was worried that you
might have forgotten

to pick up your prescription,

so I sent Zolton out to get it.

For your nerves, dear.

[FRIEND] And the whole time
I'm thinking, hell,

John set me up good this time.

- Sounds about right.

Anyway, I, um, I wander over

and I take a seat in his golf cart.

He sits down, and Spiro has no
idea what to do about it.

Hang on. You mean he-he plays along?

He plays along,
and not only that, get this.

They play a round.

[FRIEND] We played half a round

before I realized
I showed up on the wrong day.

[ECHOING] So I just helped
myself to a game

with the vice president.








- [BUSBOY] I'm so sorry.

Excuse me.


[SLURRING] Did he let him win?

Did ya let him win?





♪ ♪

[ROSEMARY] What have you done to it?

What have you done to its eyes?

[ROMAN] He has his father's eyes.



- [MARTHA] Ow! Ow!

[ROSEMARY] What are you talking about?

Guy's eyes are normal!


[MITCHELL] All right.




Here comes the carpet. Yeah.


- [MARTHA] Ow. Ow!
- [MITCHELL] Okay. Okay.

[MARTHA] Don't hurt me,
don't hurt me, don't hurt me!

- Ah... leave me alone...
- Come on, come on.

It's okay, you're okay. Go to bed.

[MARTHA] What time is it?

- We're home?
- Oh, bedtime. Bedtime.

[MARTHA] What time is it?

- [MITCHELL] It's bedtime.
- [MARTHA] Okay.


- Okay.
- [MARTHA] Where's the railing?

- [MITCHELL] I'm your railing.
- Okay.

- [MITCHELL] Okay. Okay.
- [MARTHA] Okay.



♪ ♪

- Whoo!
- Whoo-hoo-hoo!

Whoo, whoo, whoo!

♪ ♪




[CROWD] Four more years!


[ALL] Four more years!



- Name?
- Dean.

John Dean. We're guests of Mr. Dahlberg.

I might be on there as his plus one.

Right this way.

♪ ♪

[MOORE] This guy's a donor?

[DEAN] Basically funded
Operation Gemstone.

He could buy and
sell us both, wholesale.

[MOORE] He's like an Italian viscount.

Oh, my God.

Welcome to the big boy club.

[MOORE] John, this is
the best day of my life.

[DAHLBERG] John Dean?

Is that you?

Haldeman said you had
a head of hair, but Jesus!

Would you look at this kid?
Like a Kennedy...

- Oh!
- ...with that head of hair!

- Who are you?
- Dickie Moore, sir.

Special counsel.

Ah. One of those.

Have a good night, son. Go play.

- Ah.
- So...

how you enjoying your first convention?

- Ha.
- It is your first, right?

Ah. You got kinda a virginal
look about you.

Oh, sorry, I, uh, ha...

Haldeman didn't exactly tell me

the precise nature of the, uh,

It's a compliment.

People love a fresh face around here.

You never know... next big
thing could be you.

Oh. Ha. I...

I don't know about that.

I-I-I'm just a simple
junior counsel, is all.

Oh, come now.

Don't be modest at a f*ck party, son.

It's unbecoming.

Hey, Kennedy. Over here.


It is the best time in American history

to be a woman.

Yeah? You really think so?

President Nixon has done so much more

than any other president

to make America safe
to be feminine again.

I just think he's so, um...


- Oh, I see.
- Mm-hmm.

That's a really interesting
point, Candy.

[DAHLBERG] Enjoying yourself, Dean?

Oh. Yeah-y-yes, sir. Yeah.

- [DEAN] I mean...
- sh*t.

- Uh...

That's nice.

[SIGHS] Ahh...



I mean, I-I had heard
that stuff like this

happened at the convention,
but holy crap!

We have a good time, son.

Now, about that business of ours.

I'm gonna say this once.
I'm not gonna say it again.

Y'all need to get
these squints off my back.

Scuse me?

The FBI. They've been poking around.

Asked about my name on certain checks

that were used to finance
certain operations

in the Committee.

I don't want you to worry, Mr. Dahlberg.

I speak with the full
authority of the presidency

when I say that the, uh,
the agents in question

are being closely monitored.

You know, I remember guys
like you from the service...

riding a desk while guys like me

were out putting their lives
on the line.

You know what we called guys like you?


Two fat yellow bars

and a paycheck for doing nothing at all.

- Ah... uhh...
- Now, you listen here,


I don't need some horse sh*t
assurance from you

about the powers of the presidency

because I'm smart enough to know

that you speak for Nixon

about as much as Miss Topeka over there

speaks for the NAACP.

I just need you to tell me

you're gonna make my problem
go away... copy that?

Yes. Yes, sir, I'll make it
disappear, I promise.

It's gone. It's gone.

- Attaboy, Dean.

Now... go enjoy yourself.

Night's young.

Christ, if I had your looks in my day,

I would've knocked up half this town.

[JUDY] I'm a single mother, okay?

I have a good job.
I don't want any attention.

I don't think you have to
worry, Miss Hoback.

- You're doing the right thing.
- Y-you gotta understand,

these people have been
following me for weeks.

What people?

Who knows? White House? CIA?


- It's not the FBI.
- No, I don't think it's FBI.

I can tell you that much. [BOTH LAUGH]

You two really don't know

what you're dealing with here, do you?

You think these institutions
you've dedicated your life to

are set up to carry out justice?

To protect people?

Well, they're not.

They're set up to shield
people from justice.

To protect certain people
from accountability.

Mm. To protect the...

the elites, the wealthy, right?

[JUDY] Not just them. The shameless.

The ambitious.

The complicit at every level.

There is something terrible
going on at CREEP...

and every one of those bastards
was in on it.

Mitchell, Magruder, McCord, Haldeman.

Whoa, whoa. Haldeman?

As in the president's chief of staff?

H-how do you know all of this?

This can't be traced back to me, okay?

You have to promise.

Judy, we don't sell out anyone
who does the right thing.

You have our word.

When Gordon Liddy was hired,

I was assigned to help him settle in.


Mailbox keys, parking spots,
stuff like that.

I even had to help him

get his stupid poster boards printed up

for his stupid meeting.

What meeting?

Something about
sabotaging the Democrats.

Operation Gemstone.

He terrified me, you know.


I'm... I've had bosses
who were cruel, sadistic,

but with Liddy it was something...

deeper, something...

in his eyes like an...

endless cave.

Did Liddy ever speak to you directly

- about Operation Gemstone?
- God, no.

[LAUGHS] Of course, he couldn't shut up

about all his weird social theories...

...brain folds and bloodlines

and malum in se.

Malum in what?

- [LIDDY] Malum in se.
- [GASPS] Malum in what?

Malum in se.

The act of evil in and of itself.

The cold-blooded m*rder
of a child, for instance.

Primal, natural evil.

It stands in direct opposition

to malum prohibitum,

the laws of man.

It's these new moral reckonings
that will purge the Earth

of the weaknesses brought on
by sycophantic

modern-day... sodomites.


You look very nice today, Judy.

♪ ♪

Talk to you later.

He really believed this sh*t, you know.

He thought he was some kind of crusader

on a holy mission.

But if every evil is justified

because it's done in the pursuit

of some sacred truth...

then laws don't matter anymore, right?

The people don't even matter.

How can a society function like that?

How can people live together

without a shared understanding
of right and wrong?



Beginning to think you wouldn't show.

What's the pillowcase for?

Oof... hooh...


[LIDDY] Heard you called Hunt
the other day, good buddy.

The rumor is, you're still
looking for assurances

from our president.

- But the thing is...

we're soldiers.

- There are no...



No pardons, no clemency.

- You copy?

I can't hear you.

[MUFFLED] I copy!


Now, you hear me good, you f*ck.

If you ever thr*aten to squeal again,

it'll be the last time you ever squeal.

Do you copy?

[WEAKLY] I-I copy. Yes.

Yes... uhh!


♪ ♪


Are you certain there's not a little...

Juden rat in you?



[WHISPERING] I swear I can smell

a little rat in there somewhere.




[WHISPERING] What the f*ck?


Hey, it's me.

[MO] Hi. W-it's the middle of the night.

- Are you okay?
- Oh, I-I... yeah.

I-I'm sorry.

- I just...
- [MO] What's going on?

I-I was at this party tonight,

and the whole time, I was thinking about

what I told you earlier
about the can opener.

[MO] The c... uh, the can opener?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. J-just hear me out.

Maybe I was being a little rash

when I told you to
throw it out, you know,

because I-I get that way
with appliances sometimes.

I get scared, you know, I...

And maybe it's the routine
that scares me

or-or the thought of having

one can opener for the rest of my life.

And even if I like a certain can opener

and can't imagine the rest of
my life without it,

I do this thing where I just
wanna throw it all away.

And... and instead of
sticking with what I have

a-and building on something, you know,

I-I just...

I look for a new can opener and...

I just want you to know
I hate that part of myself.

I really do, and... [INHALES]

...I'm sorry about that,

about the... about the can opener.

[MO] Hey, John...


...don't ever call me again.


[LANO] Thanks to Miss Hoback,

we finally connected
Dahlberg's campaign checks

to a secret fund.

[MAGALLANES] This fund was set up inside

the Committee to Re-elect
with the expressed intent

of funneling money to a secret
political espionage unit.

- Jesus Christ!
- [LANO] Now, if Miss Hoback

is correct, John Mitchell

personally had control of the fund.

And the web of conspirants
went all the way up

to the president's chief of staff.

We need to move fast on this,
start with the higher-ups.

We don't wanna lose
the element of surprise.

Well, there's no point in
losing the element of surprise.


Well, if there's nothing else,
I've got a : .

Um, Mark will help you with logistics,

- and truly great work.
- Thank you, sir.

- Really. Congratulations.
- Thank you, sir.

- Mark.
- Absolutely.


Heavenly Father,

guide me through
these treacherous waters

and deliver me safely to shore.

This is Louis Patrick Gray

asking for Your loving hand.


Peggy, can you get the White House?



♪ ♪

- Here you go, sir.
- Thank you.

[MARTHA] Ooh...


- How are you?

Just a little... tipsy.

[ANCHOR] ...helicopter which has arrived

at the convention hall
on the helicopter pad

back behind the hall here

with Mrs. Nixon and
the president, uh, emerging.

[MITCHELL] Turn that darn thing off.

[MITCHELL] Extraordinary
how he does that.

[GUEST] Yeah, I know.

[MITCHELL] Oh, hello, darling.

You know the gentlemen from my firm.

I know the gentlemen.

Gentlemen, gentlemen,
and the birthday boy.

I know you.

- My sugar bear.

[MARTHA] Mmm. Sugar bear, birthday bear.

- How are you?
- Well, thank you.

- How are you, how are you?
- Very good.

- And you!
- Okay...


- Are you asking me to dance?
- [MITCHELL] The gentlemen

are talking about football
because of... [MUTTERS].

- Football. [STERN VOICE] Okay.
- [MITCHELL] Oh, okay.

You tease.

He's teasin' me. Yeah, teasin' me.

Oh, she is spirited.


[GUEST] You're a lucky man.

[WHISPERING] Where's my little
bag from the pharmacy?

Tula put it under the bar.

- You're my favorite.
- Oh, thank you, ma'am.


Thank you, Dr. Feldman.

[LAWYER ] To John Mitchell

on the occasion of his
retirement from politics.

[LAWYER ] Jesus, could you
imagine being married

- to that woman?
- No.

f*ck' mop soaked in alcohol, that one.

What an embarrassment for the poor guy.

I heard he begged
to stay on the campaign.

Phil told me Nixon's already
blaming him for Watergate.

[LAWYER ] Nobody gives
a sh*t about Watergate.

[LAWYER ] Not yet,
but when the lights come on,

Mitchell will be the one
holding the bag... trust me.

[LAWYER ] Probably be happy
to go to prison

to get away from Martha.







[NIXON] And tonight, I will not ask you

to join our new majority

because of what we have done
in the past.

I ask your support of the principles

I believe should determine
America's future.

The choice...

the choice in this election

is not between radical change
and no change.

The choice in this election

is between change that works
and change that won't work.



♪ ♪

I begin with an article of faith.

It has become fashionable
in recent years

to point out what is wrong

with what is called the American system.


[MARK] You're never gonna
believe this sh*t.

[REPORTER] This better be good, Mark.

You're gonna wanna hear all of this,

and you're gonna wanna put it
in your little paper.

[MAGALLANES] Can you believe this sh*t?

It's all gonna come back on her.


On Judy. She's exposed.

She's not exposed. What do
you mean, she's exposed?

[MAGALLANES] She's in the paper.

It's not like they're gonna
assassinate a bookkeeper.

Okay, well, that's not the point, is it?

We gave her our word, Angelo.

If people can't count on us,
who are they supposed to count on?

Would you calm down, please?

Relax. We're gonna be fine.


the arc of the moral universe is long...

but it bends towards the good guys.

I promise.



You want some cake?

No, thanks.

Maybe you could take some
to those reporters out there.

They're probably hungry.

Good morning, gentlemen.

Before I read your provisional
sentencing statement,

is there anything any of the
defendants would like to say?

No, Your Honor.

Very well, then.

The crimes you stand
convicted of here today

are relatively minor in relief.

A simple break-in. A harmless bugging.

No physical damage.

But make no mistake... There was damage.

You could say nobody got hurt,

but the nation itself was wounded.

Because it's not the criminal
act that matters here today.

It's the rot it reveals underneath.

Now, times

on the cheeks to bring the life back.

- Count for me.
- [SIRICA] Something is

irreparably altered when good men lie

to protect the powerful.

See the life coming?

[SIRICA] Because every lie we allow

erodes our sense of the truth.

How do I do it?

[SIRICA] Until we become not just liars

but we become the lie itself.

Gentlemen, I'm no fool.

I know this didn't start with you.

But in the absence of concrete evidence,

I'm afraid it will most likely end here.

I sentence you to the maximum penalty

allowable under federal law...
years in prison.

- [SIRICA] We'll reconvene

in two months' time
to formalize sentencing.


[BAILIFF] All rise.


♪ ♪

Y'all gonna just stand around,
or you wanna ask me some questions?

Mrs. Mitchell, Mrs. Mitchell,
is the president planning

on making your husband a scapegoat?

My husband has done everything
to protect Mr. President,

among many others, I might add,

and they have all let him down.

Attagirl, Martha.

Mr. Mitchell has become the fall guy.

the Nixon administration

be afraid of you, Mrs. Mitchell?

Well, I think you know
the answer to that,

Claire Crawford.

[LAUGHS] You know,
I used to hate that woman,

but she is starting to grow on me.


It's a Cuisinart.

It's a food processor. It...

It's supposed to be the best at-at-at...

processing foods.


♪ ♪

"For slicing, blending,

"chopping, shredding, grinding, mincing,

grating, mixing"... what...

This thing is great!

[RIPERTON] ♪ Will a lady
pin me in her hair ♪

"Your hands will thank you."

[RIPERTON] ♪ Will a child
find me by a stream ♪

Well, at least somebody will.

[RIPERTON] ♪ In the sunny shower ♪

♪ Kiss my petals
and weave me through a dream ♪

Mr. Mitchell and I
first came to Washington

to help this country.

I'm a doer... I don't just
sit around and do nothin'.

And if you don't do
your own talking for yourself,

someone is gonna do it
for ya in this town,

isn't that right?


Now, if y'all excuse me,

I'm gonna go have breakfast
with my family.

And there's a little
birthday cake upstairs.

I'll send it down for you folks.

- Don't worry, I didn't make it.
- Mrs. Mitchell,

just one more question.

♪ ♪
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