- ♪ Crashing through
the crowded halls ♪
♪ Dodging girls
like Ping-Pong balls ♪
♪ Just to reach the bathroom
on time ♪
♪ Leaping over laundry piles
♪ Diapers you can smell
for miles ♪
♪ Guy's got to do
what he can to survive ♪
- ♪ In the Loud house
♪ In the Loud house
- ♪ Duck, dodge, push,
and shove ♪
♪ Is how we show our love
- ♪ In the Loud house,
in the Loud house ♪
- ♪ One boy and ten girls
♪ Wouldn't trade it
for the world ♪
- ♪ Loud Loud Loud
♪ Loud house
- Poo-poo.
[upbeat music]
♪
- The key to the perfect
anniversary present for
your parents is simple,
know your audience.
And since my folks love
what I bring to the table,
I make them the same thing
every year:
this awesome coffee mug!
- Coffee mug?
I thought it was
a paperweight.
- Paperweight? That thing is
definitely a pencil holder.
- Negatory.
Clearly it's a bust of German
philosopher Immanuel Kant.
- I "“Kant"” even tell
what it is.
[laughs]
- Clearly no one can figure out
what that thing is.
No wonder Mom and Dad just
throw all your old gifts
in the attic.
all: [gasp]
- What?
Lola must've been
messing around with me.
Mom and Dad love
my paperweights.
I mean, coffee mugs!
What's this?
Do not open. Okay.
[gasps]
It's true.
Mom and Dad do hate my gifts!
- If you turn your head
to the side and squint,
it almost looks like
Aunt Shirley.
[scream]
- Or an inflamed liver.
- When he's this pathetic,
it takes all the joy out of
making fun of him.
- I can hear you!
together: We know!
- Mom and Dad's anniversary is
tomorrow.
What am I gonna do?
[camera shutter clicks]
- Oh, I think
an idea's developing.
Aah!
I've figured out the perfect
present for Mom and Dad!
Ta-da!
- You're giving them
Dad's old camera?
- Wow, you are cheap.
- No, not the camera!
A photograph of all of us!
- Why use that old thing when
you can just use a cell phone?
- Because that would be like
painting the "Mona Lisa"
with a crayon.
- Wow, this may be the year
you don't fail miserably
and crush
Mom and Dad's souls.
- Thank you for
the vote of confidence.
Everyone to the backyard!
Okay, that's it.
Leni, scooch to the left.
- Your other left.
- [giggles]
- Perfect.
Someone grab Lily.
Thank you. Good.
Just gotta set the timer and...
everybody say cheese!
all: Chee...
- When is it gonna flash?
My jaw is cramping up!
all: eeeeee...
- Give it a second.
all: eeeee...
- Yeah, I knew he'd blow it.
Let's do selfies instead.
- Totes!
- No, wait--Doi!
- I "nose" just what this
picture needs!
[laughs]
- Come on, Luan, you can't
wear those in the photo.
- Oh, don't be such a Groucho!
[laughs]
- What this photo needs
are some tunes!
- No, no, no, no, no,
photographs don't have--
[loud chord]
- sound!
- You're ruining the picture!
Maybe you should take off
that gross hat!
- Maybe you should take off
that gross face!
[indistinct arguing]
- Lily! Where is your diaper?
Guys, please!
Can we all just settle down?
[camera shutter clicks]
- Look at us, we're like
a vision of insanity.
I can't give this to
Mom and Dad.
It's worse than Aunt Shirley.
Argh! I mean, my coffee mug!
I've got to give them
a better picture.
The perfect picture.
Time for a do-over.
- Mirror, mirror in my hand.
Who's the prettiest in the land?
- Not you, once Mudzilla
gets a hold of you!
[growls]
- Aah!
- [coughs]
Hey!
You washed off my mud!
Ha ha! You got spray--
- Perfect!
- Hey!
You washed off my makeup!
- Good news, guys. We're taking
another family picture.
both: But we already did one!
- Stay right here.
And no more mud or makeup.
both: What?
- Thank you
for understanding!
Look, I'm all about
self-expression,
but this new picture
needs to be perfect,
so I'm gonna need you
to keep your diaper on.
- [giggles and babbles]
- Thanks for understanding.
- Poo-poo!
[babbles]
- Let's just put a pin in this
for now.
- If the hypotenuse of
a right triangle is
the mean proportional
between segments, then--
- Hey, Lisa, we're doing
another family picture.
How about we lose the glasses
and do something with your hair?
[kazoo blurts]
[off-key guitar chord]
[horn blows]
[bell dings]
- Or just lose the glasses.
- But, Lincoln,
my astigmatism.
[crash, thudding]
- [groans]
- [glass shatters]
- It's okay!
It's just a hairline fracture.
- Did I hear we're taking
more photos? Yay!
Uh-oh. Guess we'll have to wait
till after this solar eclipse.
Whoa. You're like a wizard...
or a weatherman.
- Maybe you should wear these
for the picture, Leni.
They make you look, umm,
even smarter than
you already are.
- Wow! Thanks!
Aah!
[groans]
I'm all right!
I landed on Lisa!
- Okay, now it's a break.
- Okay, just stay here!
- But--
- Here's some ice packs!
And a bandage!
together: Okay, throw them!
- Okay, guys.
Time to take a new picture.
- A new picture? No way.
- Ya ready, Lynn?
Fetch, girl!
- [panting]
- Good, Lynn!
Now stay!
[upbeat music]
♪
- When did we get grass
in our bedroom?
- Time to take a new picture.
- Sweet!
Let me just grab my axe.
- And I'll get my funny nose
and glasses.
- Dudes! Where's my axe?
- And where are my glasses?
- Uh, silly props are not
going to be in this picture.
You'll get them back
after we get the sh*t.
- You took our stuff?
- Then we're not gonna be
in your picture!
- Hmm.
Sure would be a shame
if something happened
to your things.
- This picture thing has
changed you, dude.
- Which is exactly why
I'm not going to be in it.
- Which is exactly why I took
the liberty of replacing you.
- You what?
[doorbell rings]
- Oh, Lori, I believe you know
Carol Pingrey.
Didn't she b*at you out for
homecoming queen?
- Let's get this over with.
- Okay, everyone excited?
So am I!
Ah! There you are!
You aren't getting
that diaper off now!
Okay, pets, move on in!
Okay! Almost there,
just a few more fixes.
Open up!
You, too.
together: You look thilly.
- Okay, give it here, girl.
- [growls]
- What?
- That hair.
- What about it?
But this hair
isn't me, dude!
- And this glasses isn't I,
either!
- Trust me!
You guys look great!
- Okay, Lucy.
I'm gonna need you to smile.
- I can't see that happening.
- I can't see anything
happening!
- Ya know, some folks think
taking someone's picture
actually steals their soul.
- Oh?
- Yeah! Just think of it.
Your soul
trapped and tormented
inside a camera
for all eternity.
[metal creaks]
- Close enough!
Okay, I think we're ready.
Hmm, still needs something
to pull it all together.
I know!
Now this is a perfect picture.
- What was wrong with
the other one?
- Oh, well, uh,
it was kind of...
You guys were a little, uh...
- A little what, Lincoln?
- Yourselves?
all: [grumbling]
- So that's what this
is all about.
You don't like us
the way we are.
- Well, I--you see, that is
to say, I, uh...
- Okay, guys, let's all
put on perfect smiles for
Lincoln's perfect picture,
because heaven forbid we be
our actual, literal selves!
together: Cheese.
- Lori,
I didn't mean--uh, um...
Actually,
that's pretty perfect.
[camera shutter clicks]
- Thanks so much, guys!
I really appreciate your--
Guys? Guys? Huh.
Guess they must've had
something else to do.
My days of giving lame
anniversary presents are over.
Mom and Dad are gonna love this!
Look at us. We're like
a vision of perfection.
- Mirror, mirror in my hand.
Who's the prettiest in the land?
- Not you, after
the mud monster gets you!
- [screams]
- Roar!
- Aah!
- Come back here!
- [screaming]
- [roaring]
- Hey, guys!
I got the picture framed.
both: [giggling]
- [blows raspberry]
both: [laughing]
[rock music]
- Computing of
the original formulation.
Okay, parameters--
both: [giggling]
all: [laughing]
together: Happy anniversary!
- Thanks, kids!
- Ooh, whose present
should we open first?
- Mine!
- Oh, come on, girls,
let's all let Lincoln give
his perfect little present.
- Yeah. I sure hope
it's perfect enough.
- Oh, Lincoln,
this is wonderful!
It's the best gift
we've ever gotten!
- It's going above
the mantle right now!
- Lincoln, you bonehead.
You gave them
the wrong picture.
- Yep! I knew
you'd blow this, too.
- No, I gave them
the right one.
The one that shows
the real you,
the perfect you.
together:
Aww, thank you, Lincoln!
- By the way,
you all might wanna put
your presents for Mom and Dad
in here.
Since they'll all look super
lame next to my awesome gift.
all: [grumbling]
- Just perfect.
- Poo-poo.
[upbeat rock music]
♪
- In a couple more hours this
mud will be perfect to play in!
[babbles]
- Hey, guys,
why can't a comedian tell
a dirty laundry joke?
'Cause it always comes out
clean!
[laughs]
- I bloody love this song!
Sing it like you mean it, Mick!
- I'm trying to write here.
- Blimey!
- No, I love you more, silly.
It's our -week-iversary.
- You two are, like, gonna be
together for-like-ever!
- Speaking of forever, Lori,
my study indicates
you haven't used the bathroom
in quite some time.
- Ew, there is no way I'm being
in your grody poop study.
- Ah, rainy days.
Perfect for hanging out with
the family and reading comics.
- No!
[crying]
- Gross!
- What?
- Why do you always have to read
your comics in your underpants?
- 'Cause reading my comics with
my clothes on is uncomfortable
and distracting.
And you know how I like
to be comfortable
while reading comics.
Now scooch!
- Aah! It's an annoying habit
and you get butt germs
everywhere!
- Me? Annoying?
You can't look away from
the mirror for five seconds!
- Lies!
- And, Lori,
would it k*ll you
not to talk to Bobby
all the time?
- I do not talk to Bobby
all the time.
Do I, Bobby?
- And, Lisa, you always do
your weird poop studies.
- It's quite
fascinating work.
- See? You guys couldn't
last ten minutes
without doing
yourannoying things.
- We could last longer
than you!
- I bet you couldn't!
- Oh, really?
Care to make it
a little more interesting?
If we can stop doing our things
longer than you can stop
doing yours,
then you have to give up
reading in your underwear
forever!
all: Yeah!
- Hold it.
- [record needle scratches]
What's in it for me?
- If you win,
we'll never complain
about your butt cooties again.
- Okay,
but if I b*at you,
you also have to buy me
these beauties.
Pure cotton, , thread count,
nonbinding elastic--
I'll just call them
my victory undies.
all: [whispering indistinctly]
- Deal.
- Great!
So if I have to read comics
with my clothes on,
Lola can't look in the mirror,
Luna can't speak in
a British accent...
- Rock and row!
- Mud!
- Lana can't play in mud...
- Dang it.
- Lori can't talk to Bobby...
- You are silly. Bobby who?
- Leni can't say "like"...
- Like, okay.
- Lucy can't pop up
and scare people,
Lisa has to give up
her weird studies...
- Forgive me, science.
- Luan can't tell bad jokes,
Lynn can't turn everything
into a sport,
- [cries]
- And Lily can't cry.
together: Deal!
- Pants up, buddy boy!
- Okay, competition starts now.
- Wait, like, I wasn't clear
on the rules.
- Leni, you can't
say "like."
- Oh, got it!
- Okay,
competition starts now.
- I'm, like, totally
gonna win this.
[buzzer]
- Nice going.
all: Aah!
[buzzer]
- Dang it.
- Come on, ladies!
Stay focused!
- Two down. I can practically
smell those victory undies.
Wait. Let me rephrase that.
[blues music]
- See, I don't even need
a mirror to put my makeup on.
Comfy over there, Lincoln?
Yep! Just about...
[groans]
to dive...
[grunts]
into my...
comics.
Aah.
[cell phone rings
"Here Comes the Bride"]
- Oh.
- Control yourself, woman!
- [sighs]
- Well, nothing sporty
about folding laundry.
- Or funny.
- [barks]
- [panting]
- Lana, heel!
- [whimpers]
- Herdy, verdy, verdy.
Easy peasy, I just
svitched to Svedish, ya.
- You poor, fragile
h*m* sapiens.
[cell phone rings
"Here Comes the Bride"]
- I vill take that, ya!
- No, you von't!
I mean, won't!
Give it back!
- Basketball.
together: Don't do it!
Don't do it!
- Two points!
Two points! Two points!
Two points! Two points!
Two points! Yeah!
[buzzer]
- Buh-bye!
Ugh. Maybe
the pants are the problem.
- [cat yowls]
- Too scratchy. Too tight.
Too far after Labor Day.
Oh, these are perfect.
- Babe! Why aren't you
answering my calls?
- Forgive me, my love.
Lincoln, why are you
wearing my leggings?
- Hey, you never said
I had to wear mypants.
Plus these are so comfy!
- Good luck. Those are the ones
that really ride up on ya.
- Sure, Lori. You're just trying
to mess with my--hello!
Yep, those are ridin'!
- Hey, cats and kittens!
This is Jay Rock here!
I'm giving away Mick Swagger
tickets to the caller with
the best British accent.
Hello, you're on the air. Let's
hear your best British accent.
- [whispers]
Come on, love,
hand over those tickets!
- Sorry, caller,
I can't hear you.
- Come on, love,
hand over those tickets!
- If you don't speak up,
you can't win!
- Hand over
the bleedin' tickets, mate!
Herdy verdy?
[buzzer]
[blues music]
- Ugh! I've read
the same panel times!
[knock on door]
Who's there?
- Bobby!
- Bobby who?
- Don't you dare answer
that joke, Luan!
- I gotta let him in!
both: [grunting]
- Geez, how many Loud sisters
does it take to open a door?
- Luan,
do not answer that!
- Hey, look!
Free makeup samples!
- Huh?
- Ha!
Bobby!
- Mud!
[laughs maniacally]
[buzzer]
- Happy -week-iversary,
Bobby-Boo-Boo-Bear!
[buzzer]
- Thanks, Babe!
I would've been here sooner
but I had to wait for
a chicken to cross the road.
- Why did the chicken
cross the road?
- To get to the other side!
To run away from the cook!
To prove he's no chicken!
[laughs hysterically]
- No!
- [sighs]
Sweet comic relief.
[buzzer]
- [groans angrily]
- Here, babe. I brought you
something special.
- Aww.
- It's the milkshake from
our first date.
Six weeks ago!
- [gurgles]
Coming through! Literally!
- [gasps]
The missing piece of
my gastrointestinal study!
[door slams]
- [screams]
- Sweet mother of discovery!
[buzzer]
- I'm only human.
- You people are useless!
- And then there were two.
- You may have outlasted
those amateurs,
but now you've gotta deal
with a real professional.
- I won't give up!
For the sake of
all things comfortable!
Aah! I gotta do something
about these pants.
[blues music]
- Now these are pants
I can read in.
You girls better start
pooling your money,
because I'm about to win
this thing.
- Then perhaps it's time
to turn up the heat.
- Phew. Is it hot in here?
degrees?
So that's how
she's gonna play it.
- Lincoln,
what are you doing?
- Just reading.
Oh, and I polished every
surface in the living room.
So shiny
you can see your face.
- Aah!
Must...not...look...
at...self!
Beautiful, beautiful self!
Aah!
- And I waxed
the kitchen floor, too!
Such reflection!
- Aah!
That's it!
Give up, Lincoln!
You know you want these.
Smell 'em!
Smell that cotton!
You know you want 'em!
- I'm not giving up!
You'd give up right now
if you could see what's wrong
with your face!
- What?
Guys, is there something
wrong with my face?
- You look beautiful.
- You look gorgeous.
- Lies!
Give me a mirror!
Aah!
Ahh, that's better.
[buzzer]
- I win!
The victory undies are mine!
Okay, ladies, pay up!
Hey, Lily.
[gasps]Lily!
- She didn't cry this entire
time. That means...
together: Lily wins!
[cheering]
- And I lost.
- Well, Lincoln, guess you
have to give up reading comics
in your underwear
forever.
[buzzer]
[blues music]
- Ahh, how I've missed
this beautiful face.
- [groans]
Oh.
[knock on door]
- Who's there?
- Delivery man.
- Delivery man who?
- Come on, kid,
it's raining!
- That's your punch line?
You really need to work on
your delivery!
[laughs]
- Package for Lincoln Loud.
- [gasps]
My victory undies.
I don't get it.
- We didn't order it
for you.
- I did.
together: But he lost the bet!
- Come on, you guys.
We clearly can't give up
our things.
Why should Lincoln have to
give up his?
We should all accept
each other's habits.
Even if some of them are
really, really gross.
- Totally.
- Absolutely.
[indistinct agreement]
- Whatevs.
- Thank you!
They're almost
too nice to wear.
[sniffs]
But not that nice!
Ah, rainy days.
There's nothing
like doing the thing you love,
surrounded by the ones
you love,
and , thread count
undies.
- Chicken, come back!
Why did you cross the road?
- ♪ Cramped inside
this tiny space ♪
♪ May sound bad
but ain't the case ♪
♪ In the Loud house
- ♪ Loud house
- ♪ Duck and dodge
and push and shove ♪
♪ That's the way we show
our love in the Loud house ♪
- ♪ Loud house
♪ Laundry piles
stacked up high ♪
♪ Hand-me-downs
that make me cry ♪
♪ Stand in line to take a pee
♪ Never any privacy
♪ Chaos with kids
♪ That's the way
it always is ♪
♪ In the Loud house
01x08 & 01x09 - Picture Perfect/Undie Pressure
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Series revolves around the chaotic everyday life of a boy named Lincoln Loud, who is the middle child and only son in a large family of 11 children.
Series revolves around the chaotic everyday life of a boy named Lincoln Loud, who is the middle child and only son in a large family of 11 children.