01x45 & 01x46 - Funny Business/Snow Bored

[bunniefuu]

♪ Crashing through
the crowded halls ♪

♪ Dodging girls
like Ping-Pong balls ♪

♪ Just to reach the bathroom
on time ♪

♪ Leaping over laundry piles

♪ Diapers you can smell
for miles ♪

♪ Guy's got to do
what he can to survive ♪

♪ In the Loud House,
in the Loud House ♪

♪ Duck, dodge, push,
and shove ♪

♪ Is how we show our love

♪ In the Loud House,
in the Loud House ♪

♪ One boy and ten girls

♪ Wouldn't trade it
for the world? ♪

♪ Loud Loud Loud

♪ Loud House

Poo-poo.

[rock music]

♪♪

I don't get it, Clyde.

Usually I'm a good student,

but lately it's been
all Cs and Ds,

and now an F!

Wow,
and a frowny face too.

That's cold.

If I don't turn this around,
I could fail fifth grade.

Lincoln, you can't!

If I go to middle school
without you,

I could fall in
with the wrong crowd,

and get tattoos,
and start littering.

[heavy metal music]

Don't worry, Clyde.
I've got a plan.

Sorry, Lincoln,
but my tutoring schedule

is completely booked.

I've got math with Lucy
on Mondays,

geology with
Lynn on Tuesdays,

finger painting with Lily
on Wednesdays,

et cetera, et cetera.

Oh, being the resident genius

is both a blessing
and a curse,

though I believe in neither.

But Lisa,
you're my last hope!

Mm, pish-posh.

Try the community college.

I've heard through
the tutoring grapevine

that students there tutor
for extra credit.

Great idea, Lis.

Lori, you're three minutes
late for pre-calc.

Move it or lose it!

[door bell rings]

[British accent]
Erm, beg your pardon.

Is this the Loud residence?

Yep, you must be my tutor.
I'm Lincoln.

I'm Hugh.
Quite chuffed to meet you.

Uh, the chuff is all mine.

Come on in.

I really appreciate this,
Hugh.

I have a big multi-subject
test coming up,

and I need to ace it.

So I'm like, if you literally
don't know the difference

between dance team
and colour guard--

[gasps]

[slow romantic music]

Ba...ba...ba...

I was just going to get
a hunk of meat.

I mean,
a dish of cereal.

Err, tall drink of water.

[grunts]

Miss, you dropped
your mobile.

[awkward fawning]

I heard a goose!
I call dibs!

♪♪

Ba...ba...ba...

I heard a sheep.

♪♪

Aah! My face!

♪♪

[all]
Ba...ba...ba...

Hey, guys.

Oh, Lincoln, I didn't know
you were entertaining.

Hi, I'm--

♪♪

Ba...ba...ba...

Um, hello. I'm Hugh,
Lincoln's tutor.

It's lovely
to meet you all.

[all]
Ba...ba...ba...

Could you guys please
get out of here?

We're trying to study.

It's a free country, Lincoln.

We can stand
where we want to.

I'm standing here!

The heck you are!

You're blocking my view!You're blocking my Hugh!

[sisters arguing]
Oh, my word.

There's quite a few of you.

[laughing nervously]
Friendly lot.

[bird tweets]Ah, hello.

Bit cheeky, aren't we?
Oh...ah...

Come on, Hugh, let's go
somewhere a little less crowded.

Sorry about my sisters.
They're not usually like this.

Oh, it's no bother.
They seem like very

very spirited
young ladies.[bang]

Get out of the way!You're blocking my Hugh!

[all arguing]

[all silenced]

As I was saying,
sorry about my--

[all arguing]

Ow, my eye!

[Dad whistling]Again, sorry
about my sisters.

Maybe we should study
in my room.

Brilliant!
Cheerio!

Pip-pip and all that rut.

Lynn Loud Sr.

I did a college semester
in merry old England.

So many memories.

Bangers and mash,
riding the Tube...

Ah, yes, cheers.

Oh, Hugh?

My window
is literally stuck

and I need someone
very strong to open it.

[humming]
♪ Hmm, hmm, fish and chips

[sighs]

There you are, love.
Right as rain.

Wow, I bet you work out
a lot, huh?

Well, I did do a spot of crew
in fifth form.

I like all your forms.

[awkward fawning]

[sighs]I need to borrow Hugh
for a second.

I'm tutoring Lola.What?

Glad to help.
What's the subject?

[shuddering]

This is called
a rectus abdominis.

Otherwise known
as a six-pack.

Oh, I say.Now, if you'll turn around,

I'll point out
the gluteus maximus.

[all shrieking]

Really?
But this is most--

All right, all right,
class dismissed.

Hup!

[camera shutter clicks]

Sorry about this.

It's the only place
we'll get any privacy.

It's a bit dark,
but there's a lamp right here.

[both gasp]
Hi, Hugh.
I wrote a poem about you.

"Hugh. Wavy hair.
Mysterious eyes.

Pretty cool
for a living guy. Hugh."

'Ello, gov'nor!
Picked this up

at ye olde Buckingham Palace
gift shoppe.

Everybody out!

It's tea time
for me and Hugh.

I made yours without sugar
cos you're already sweet.

[giggling]

Okay, I highly doubt anyone's
gonna bother us here.

[slurping]

Oh, hi, Hughie.

[dog barks]

[Luna]Dudes, he's in
the pooch pad!

[all screaming, arguing]

Ah! This again!

All right!
Family meeting!

Back in a jiff.

You guys are unbelievable.

The minute a good-looking guy
with an accent shows up,

you all go completely bonkers.

That is so not true.

I've got these Hugh sweaters
in small, medium, and large.

[all]
Ooh!

This has to end.
I need to study,

or I'm gonna flunk
fifth grade.

So from now on,
Hugh is off limits.

[sisters groaning]

[in British accent]
Now, girls, you heard Lincoln.

Uh, that means you too, Dad.

Oh...[pets growling]

[bird squawks]Ugh!

Sorry that took so long
to take care of.

Finally, we can get
down to business.

Brilliant,
let's start with mathematics.

See if you can solve for X.

Is that right?
Well done!

Let's move on
to social studies.

What are the three major exports
of Bosnia-Herzegovina?

Um, aluminium,
car seats, and leather footwear?

Smashing. Shall we have
a go at Earth sciences?

Lincoln, you're spot-on
in all of your lessons.

Even surrealist art.

It's weird, I thought
I needed so much help.

It's all in your head, chum.
There's no reason

you shouldn't be getting
top marks on your exam.

Well, I guess you won't
be needing me anymore.

[all]
No!

Good heavens,
are all Yanks like this?

Careful!
Mind the hair!

Girls!
He's gettin' away!

[all]
No!

[all shouting]

Marry me!

How'd the test go, bro?
You ace it?

No!
I got an F!

Oh.
And a frowny face.

That's cold.

I know just
"Hugh" to call!

[laughing]Get it?

I'm calling Hugh!No, me!

I don't get it.

I thought I knew
all the answers.

[sighs]
Ms DiMartino

is definitely
gonna flunk me now.

Wait, Ms DiMartino?

Yeah, she's been
our substitute teacher

since Mrs Johnson broke her leg
riding a mechanical bull.

Dude, no wonder
you're failing.

Ms D is so smokin',

guys go completely
bonkers around her.

Yeah, even Bobby nearly
flunked because of her.

Of course, that was "BL",

before Lori,

or he never would've
noticed her.

But that couldn't happento me!

Could it?

Hi, Ms DiMartino!

Ba...ba...ba...

[slow romantic music]

♪♪

[French accent]
Let's conjugate the French verb

"aimer",to love.

J'aime, tu aimes, il aime.

Nous aimons.

♪♪

Oh!
Found my retainer.

You'll have one hour
to complete your test.

Eyes on your own paper.

♪♪

Holy shmoly!
You guys are right.

I do go completely bonkers
around Ms DiMartino.

Just like you guys did
around Hugh.

I don't know why
you keep saying that.

By the way, if Hugh and I
ever got married and had a baby,

here's what it would look like.

Oh, Leni,
you're delusional.

Because I'm gonna marry him,

and our progeny is gonna
look like this.

[all arguing]

Guys, you got to help me.

I don't want to flunk
fifth grade.

Clyde could end up
as a tattooed litterbug!

[record scratching]

It made sense
when he said it.

Maybe you can
get Ms. DiMartino

to let you retake the test.

But as long as
she's anywhere near me,

I'm still gonna blow it.

Well, then, the solution
would be to remove her

from your field of vision.

Observe.

[slow romantic music]

[shuddering,
clears throat]

Lori, what is Bobby's
full name?

Roberto Alejandro Martinez--

[awkward fawning]

Roberto Alejandro--
[awkward fawning]

Roberto-
[awkward fawning]

And now to delete.

[all]
No!

Roberto Alejandro
Martinez-Millan

Luis Santiago Jr.

Case closed.Got it.

Don't worry, guys.
I have more photos

of Hugh saved in the Cloud.

[school bell rings]

[voice echoing]
Thanks for letting me

retake my test,
Ms DiMartino.

No problem, Lincoln.
Here you go.

You have one hour
to complete it,

and keep your eyes
on your own paper.

[giggling]

Gosh, and you're funny too.

[honking]

♪♪

Clyde!
I did it!

I aced the test!That's awesome, Lincoln!

So you're not
gonna flunk fifth grade?

Nope. Only downside is,
I'm going to be spending

a lot of time
inside my locker.

Well, here goes.
Better shield my eyes

from our teacher's
blinding beauty.

Oh, well, thank you!

I'm flattered.

Why don't you come sit
in the front row, Lincoln?

[laughing nervously]
Uh, yes, brilliant.

[school bell rings]

Now that Mrs Johnson's back,

looks like my troubles
are over.

♪♪

[both]
Ba...ba...ba...ba...

What happened
to Coach Pacowski?

Mrs Johnson ran over
his foot with her wheelchair,

so I'll be subbing
in gym class for a while.

[whistle trills]Let's do some laps,
everybody!

[giggling]

[both]
Ba...ba...ba...ba...

[clunking and thudding]

[upbeat rock music]

♪♪

[Lori]
Ugh! Dang it!

Aargh!

Sounds like someone got
trapped in the bathroom again.

Grr!
Somebody let me out!

Bobby's coming over to study

and I only have three hours
to get ready!

Aah!

Oof!
Grr!

This house is literally
falling apart!

Lori's right.
With kids, four pets,

and two parents who insist
on fixing everything themselves,

our house is a bit of a--
how do I put this nicely?

Disaster.

You've got the faulty
water pressure.

[metal creaking]

Eh, I'll go borrow some water
from Charles' bowl.

Try to have a little
dignit--

[Lincoln]
And the creaky floorboards.

[wood creaks]

[Dad]
Lori? Leni? Luan?

[Lincoln]
Don't forget about
the rotting wood.

[Dad]Luna!

[Lincoln]
Then there's
the clunky furnace.

♪♪

Well, Captain, after weeks
of careful construction,

your ship is finally ready.

[furnace rattling]

And the crummy TV signal.

It's fuzzy again!

[overlapping shouting]

D'oh! Whoa!

Oh, something's got me!

Wait, wait!
That's perfect!

[cheering][Dad screams]

[all groaning]

[Lincoln]
And the doorknob situation.

Dang it.

Dang it.Dang it.

Dang it.
Dang it.

Dang it.Dang it.

And I feel like there's
something I'm leaving out.

Aah!
Right, the mailbox.

Ridiculous.

There wasn't even a breeze.

Actually, according to
my meteorological instruments,

a big storm's a-brewin'.

Perhaps a tornado.

What?
No way.

Patchy Drizzle here with
an urgent weather bulletin.

A tornado watch
has just been issued

for the Royal Woods area.

[all gasp][scoffs]

Try and keep up, Patchy.

All right, kids,
everyone down to the basement.

Your father and I have
to secure the TV antennae.

I call trampoline!

[indistinct chatter]

[both]
I'm scared!

Fear not,
a tornado watch

doesn't mean
a twister's coming,

but rather that conditions
are right for one.

Besides, most
residential structures

can withstand wind speeds
of up to miles per hour.

Or in the case of our house,
two miles per hour.

[laughter]

Maybe this old heap
will blow away,

and then we can get a new house!

[sighs]
I'll finally get my castle!

Ugh, I can't believe
I have to postpone my study date

with Bobby after
I did all this.

Dudes, remember the first time
Bobby came over to Casa Loud?

Mr and Mrs Loud.
[nervous chuckle]

It's an honour
to finally meet you.

[gasps]
Boo Boo Bear!

You're literally bleeding.

Oh, no worries, babe.

It's-- it's just
marinara sauce. Ahem.

Could I please use
your restroom?

[metal creaking]Whoa!

So, you're Lori's
new love interest.

[screams]

Dang it.

[laughter]

[sighs]

Fortunately,
our love was strong enough

to overcome any obstacle.

Including creepy sisters
who spy on my dates.

Please,
you can't expect to have

privacy in this house.

[inhales]
Sigh.

[inhales]
Sigh.

[inhales]
Sigh.

Okay, you've been doing that
for ten minutes.

What's wrong, Luce?

[dark music]

Don't tell anyone, but...

I've been reading this new book
series about a werewolf,

and it feels like
I'm cheating on Edwin.

[Lola]
I'd stick with the vampire.

Werewolves are hairy
and gross, ugh!

Which is exactly why
she should go for one!

[howls]

But Edwin was
her first love.

Don't these books sound
a little old for Lucy?

Of course not, dear.
When I was a girl,

I read a series about
a cute lumberjack.

Groan.

[laughter]

[inhales]
Sigh.

I still fail
to grasp your dilemma,

seeing as both would-be suitors
are mythological beings.

My point was that our
walls are ridiculously thin.

Yeah, not to mention leaky.

[upbeat music]

Uh-oh.

♪♪

Got it.[phone vibrating]

Dang it!

And it wasn't even raining.

Someone just flushed
the upstairs toilet.

"Ur-ine" trouble then.

[laughing]Get it?

[all groaning]Aw, come on,
it was funny!

[devices whirring]

Good news.

Wind speeds have decreased
significantly.

We should be out of this
asbestos-ridden dungeon soon.

[all cheering]

At least it's not flooding

like it did
in the last big storm.

I'll get the buckets.

Last one.

Wait, but don't you guys
remember what happened next?

[gasps]
Hey, guys, check it out!

[upbeat rock music]

Cannonball!

[all cheering]

Ew! I'm not swimming
in grody basement water.

Hey, Lori! I found
your missing earring.

[gasps]
The one from Bobby?

Cannonball!

[indistinct chatter]

Yeah, I guess sometimes living
in a crummy house isn't all bad.

Yeah, like the time
possums got in through

the holes in the roof
and chewed up the wiring.

[possum chittering]

Sorry, kids,
till we get new cables

there's gonna be
no TV or Internet.

[cries and groans]

Whoa, whoa, whoa!
No need to panic.

I think I know how
to "possum" the time.

[all groaning]

Guess what ol' Dad found?

A wireless hotspot?Even better!

My old "Pioneer Boy" books
from when I was a kid.

They're about a plucky young lad
and his family

crossing this great nation
in a covered wagon.

You guys are gonna love 'em!

[energetic banjo music]

[babbling]

♪♪

Ow!

[Southern accent]
Fret not, lassie.

One drop of my mugwump elixir

will soothe every
ache and pain.

That did turn out
to be fun.[all murmuring]

That was almost as fun
as the time the air conditioner

went crazy and Dad
couldn't turn it off.

[air conditioner rattling]

[whimpering nervously]

[screams]

[chatter and laughter]

You know, dudes,

maybe we've been too hard
on the ol' crib.

It's got some perks,
like the wicked slanty floors.

Yo, Lans, pass the gravy.

[laughing]
You never have

to get up to grab some grub!

Or a fresh roll of TP.

Guys, I need a reload!

And she makes
the snag.

[laughter]

The broken doorbell
can come in handy too.

[door bell dings][electricity sizzling]

I can't remember the last time
we paid for pizza.

[laughter]

You know what else
comes in handy?

That hole in
the bathroom floor.

Um, we got it, Lynn.

Oh, okay.
Just wanted to be sure.

[babbling]

Guys, I think Lily wants
to share a house story too.

Mind if I translate,Lilster?

Poo-poo.
Ahem.

[babbling]

So it was Mom and Dad's
anniversary weekend.

[all]
Bye! Have fun!

Okay, guys,
it's time to put Operation:

Paint-the-Peeling-House
to-Give-Mom-and-Dad

the-Greatest
Anniversary-Gift-Ever

and-Also-Think-of-a-Shorter
Name-for-This-Operation...

into action!

I still think
adjacent burial plots

would have been
a better gift.

Nothing says romance
like eternity.

[car horn honks]

They're back!
Paintbrushes down!

[all]
Surprise!

Happy anniversary!

[both]
Good gravy.

So you like it?

[both]
Uh...

♪♪

[babbling]

[tearing up]
Best. Anniversary gift. Ever!

That was a great story, Lily.Poo-poo.

I think she's got
another story.
[farts]

Oh, this time
it really is just poo-poo.

[laughter]

[devices whirring]

What's going on?
Is the storm over?

Uh, actually wind speeds have
increased significantly.

Meaning the tornado watch

is about to become
a tornado warning.

[all gasping]And there it is.

[thunder cracking]Nobody panic!

I guess it's not
such a bad house after all.

[indistinct chatter]

[thunder roars][wind howls]

I don't want our house
to blow away!

Me neither!I take back
what I said before!

Yeah, we have so many memories
in these walls.

I'm sorry I ever
ragged on this place.

Me too.We're so sorry, house!

Me too!
Me three!

You might be old, and creaky,

and full of leaks,
but you're ours.

And we love you!

[storm intensifies]

♪♪

[storm ceases][all shivering]

All clear!

Let's go check on the house.

[all clamoring]

I'll check the hole
in the bathroom floor.

[upbeat music]

Yikes, you guys
were hit hard.

Nope, this is how
our house always looks.

And we wouldn't want it
any other way.

All right, everyone,
back inside.

[all]
Dang it.

♪ Cramped inside
this tiny space ♪

♪ May sound bad
but ain't the case ♪

♪ In the Loud house ♪ Loud house

♪ Duck and dodge
and push and shove ♪

♪ That's the way we show
our love in the Loud house ♪

♪ Loud house

♪ Laundry piles
stacked up high ♪

♪ Hand-me-downs
that make me cry ♪

♪ Stand in line to take a pee

♪ Never any privacy

♪ Chaos with kids

♪ That's the way
it always is ♪

♪ In the Loud house