03x38 - The Write Stuff

[bunniefuu]

[upbeat rock music]

♪ ♪

[suspenseful music]

- And as the footsteps
grew louder,

he pulled back the curtain

with a shaking hand and saw--

- Hi, Mom.
- Ah! I mean...

[sighs]
Hi, sweetie!

How was Writing Club?

- Sigh.
I'm thinking of dropping out.

- Dropping out?

But you were so excited
to join.

- That was before I knew

Principal Huggins
was in charge.

- To apostrophize
or not to apostrophize.

That is the question,
and a complex one, at that.

[head thunks]

Today, I've got a fun
writing assignment for you.

About the dangers
of misusing the semicolon.

[head thunks]

Now, pay close attention.

Make sure you're holding
the pencil at the proper angle.

No, no, Amir,
you're at least degrees off.

- When do we get to
actually write?

- Fundamentals before fun,
young lady.

Now, let's see
your erasing technique.

- Sigh.

[heads thunk]

Writing used to be my passion.

Now I don't even enjoy
penning a simple eulogy.

[tires screech]

- What is Principal Huggins
thinking?

Writing isn't about rules.
It's about being creative!

Getting inspired.
Taking risks!

Expressing your feelings
and ideas!

[horn honks]

- Mom, the light's green.

- Yes. I see that.

Point is, I am going to talk
to your principal.

- I'm sorry, Mrs. Loud,
but Principal Huggins

is getting his performance
review right now.

And between you and me
and the flagpole,

it is not goin' well.

- Superintendent Chen, wait.

I haven't shown you my new
color-coded demerit system.

- I've seen all I need
to see, Huggins.

I'm giving you a rating of...

[suspenseful music]

[eyebrows plunking]

Mediocre.

[all gasp]

Now, excuse me.

I've got other principals
to destroy.

- [groans]
There's no pleasing that woman.

- [clears throat]
Principal Huggins,

Mrs. Loud is here
with some suggestions

for the Writin' Club.

She's a genuine author.

- I just had a few ideas

to get the kids more excited
about writing.

- Oh.

So now my work
with the Writing Club

is mediocre too.

Well, if you're such an expert,

maybe you should try
running it yourself.

- I would love to!
- Oh.

I was being sarcastic.

But then again,
it would free up time for me

to find ways
to improve my rating.

- [gasps]
Thank you, Principal Huggins.

I won't let you down.

- Maybe I could institute
a schoolwide

"no slouching" policy.

[fingers snap]

- And here's
where you can set up

for this week's meetin'.

Just give me a jingle

if you need anything.

I'm helping Principal Huggins

conduct
surprise posture checks.

- Dombrowski, shoulders back!

- Mm-hmm.

[eyebrows plunk]

- "Everything you need
to lead the club is in here.

Stick to the book!"

- Were the all caps necessary?

Let's see.
"Common adverb errors.

Noun versus pronoun."
Snooze.

[door creaks open]
- M-Mrs. Loud?

- Lucy's mom?
- What are you doing here?

- I'm taking over
the Writing Club for a while.

Does everyone have
their textbooks?

Great.

Well, you can put them away,

because we're goin'
on a field trip!

- We've never gone
on a field trip.

- Well, I was thinking
we could venture out

to find
some poetic inspiration.

[tires screech]

- Flip's? What's poetic

about a convenience store?

- You might be surprised.

Now, I want you to take note

of everything you see, smell,
taste, touch, and hear.

- Does it matter
how we hold our pencils?

- Not one bit.

[cool guitar music]

- Mm...

Mm, summer rain.

Spring daffodil.

Pickled eggs?

[drink sloshing]

- Hmm. The way the sour cherry
swirls into the black licorice

reminds me of a sunset
over the cemetery.

[heat sizzling]

[popcorn sputtering]

[chili lapping]

- I've heard these sounds
before.

But I've never really listened.

- Flip: his past may be murky.

His tooth may be jerky.

But I think he's just quirky.

Flip.

[fingers snapping]

- Nice job, Amir.

- Hey, does anyone have a rhyme
for "Flippee"?

- Hippy. Drippy. Mississippi.

- Love.

- To the new and improved
Writing Club.

all: To the new and improved
Writing Club.

[animals vocalizing]

- Everyone, pick an animal,

then try writing a story
through its eyes.

[goat screams]

- Yes.
I sense our connection too.

- Oh, why the heck would you
want to hear my story?

- Every life can inspire art,
Scoots.

- Humph.
Sounds a little cray, but fine.

I was born in a stolen
ice cream truck.

Mother was jonesin'
for some rocky road

and wasn't taking no
for an answer!

♪ ♪

- Before you guys go home,

I just want to say
how proud I am

of the brilliant work
you've been doing.

You deserve a chance
to show it off.

So next week's field trip
is an extra special one:

Open Mic Thursday
at the Burnt Bean!

all: [gasp]
- Gasp.

- That coffee house
in the cool part

of Fern Valley?

- That's right.

- College students
hang out there.

- Now, get out of here,
you creative geniuses.

- All right!
- This is gonna be great.

- Maybe I can borrow
my big brother's fedora!

- Thanks, Mom.

For everything.

[fingers snap]

- Today's the day.

How's everyone feeling?

Nervous? Excited?

Little bit of both?

- So psyched!

- Nervous, but zen about it.

- I'm bursting with excitement.

- Is the fedora too much?
Am I pulling it off?

- Oh, I don't think you'll be
pulling any of this off.

all: Principal Huggins!

- What a nice... surprise!

- Spare me your pleasantries,
Mrs. Loud.

I know all about
the little field trips

you've been taking
behind my back.

- Oh, well,
I just wanted to show

the kids
that writing can be fun.

- No, no!
Fundamentals before fun!

It's all in the book
I gave you,

which seems to have
gone missing.

- I'm sorry.

I just found the material
a bit dry.

- I don't believe I asked you
for your review.

From now on, you will follow
said material

and keep students
in the classroom.

- But Principal Huggins,

the kids are so excited

about the open mic.

Can't I at least take them
to that?

- Not if you wish to remain
in charge of the Writing Club.

- But-but--
- It's okay, Mrs. Loud.

We don't have to go.

- We don't want to lose you.

- May I recommend
starting on page ?

There's a neat little lesson
about plural possessives.

[cool guitar music]

- Unless the surname ends

in an "E-S"...

[yawns]
...in which case,

the preceding rule
does not apply.

[heads thunking]

You see, Principal Huggins?

This is exactly what I...

- [snoring]

♪ ♪

[dramatic music]

♪ ♪

- "Let's get outta here."

♪ ♪

[smile creaking]

♪ ♪

- [snoring]

Mediocre...
[snores]

♪ ♪

[doors slide shut]

- Okay, okay, everybody.

Let's give it up for Bud Grouse

and his poem
"My Yard, My Property."

Okay, last call for any more
performers in the house?

[door bangs open]
- Yes!

There's a whole van load

of talented young writers
right here.

- Oh. Okay, cool.

All right, then.
Come on up.

- This is it, guys.
Have fun.

- Whoo-hoo!
- I'm so glad I have my hat.

[horn honking]

- What's that?

[tires screech]

- It's Principal Huggins!

He found us!

- Don't worry.
I'll take care of him.

Just get up there and perform.

[eyelids shimmer]

[alarm chirps]

- Sorry, sir.
This is a no-golf-cart zone.

- No-golf-cart zone?

I've never heard of anything
like that.

- Listen, bro,
unless you're the kind of guy

who isn't into
following rules...

- Oh, no, no, I love rules.
- Well, great.

There's golf cart parking
blocks thataway.

- Fifty blocks?
- Uh, yep.

[tires screech]

- Thank you, sir.
- Oh, sure.

No problem, lady.

[percussive music]

- The hot dogs sizzle.

The nacho cheese goes plop.

In the snack aisle at Flip's,

the symphony never stops.

Thank you.

[fingers snapping]
- All right. Let's hear it.

- Whoo!

So proud of you guys.

- You!
- Dang it.

- Did you really think
you would get away with this?

- [sighs]
No. I knew I wouldn't.

But I had to let these kids
share the work

they're so passionate about,

even if it meant
getting fired from the club.

- That's exactly what it means.

You're out,
and Huggins is back in.

You hear that, kids?

I'm in charge.

- Are you indeed?

- Superintendent Chen.

I can explain
what these kids are doing

in such
a seedy establishment...

for which you have a T-shirt
and a frequent customer mug.

- Huggins, I'm impressed.

I don't know what you've been
doing in that Writing Club,

but you've clearly inspired
these kids.

You know what?

I'm gonna improve your rating

from mediocre...

[suspenseful music]

[eyebrows plunking]

To above average.

- Above average? Me?

- You've earned it.

[melancholy guitar music]

- Actually, I haven't.

This is the woman to whom
all credit belongs.

- Really? Well done, madam.

- Thank you!
But, you know, uh,

Principal Huggins deserves
credit too.

He's given the students
a very thorough education

in the fundamentals,

which are just as important
as the fun.

- Well, sounds like you two
should run the club together.

both: Together?

- Something to think about.

- All right, students.

Can anyone tell me
what a gerund is?

- A verb that acts as a noun...

- Always ending in "I-N-G."

- Excellent.

Now, let's practice
writing them.

Take it away, Mrs. Loud.

- Roger!

- Wow, Lucy!
Your mom can write,

perform root canals,
and fly a plane?

- All right.
Who's got a gerund?

- Ooh, I do!
How about "flying"?

- Nice! Let's write.

- Whoo-hoo!
- Whoo-hoo, I love writing.

- "Soaring"!
- Good one!

- "Hurtling"?

As in, toward the earth?

- Like this?

All great examples.

How about a gerund
from Principal Huggins?

- [gulps]

[vomits]
"Retching"!

[upbeat orchestral music]

♪ ♪

[knocking]
- Come on, Leni, hurry up.

Other people live
in this house too, you know.

- But Lori, Mom said
no running on the stairs.

- Oh. Sorry, Leni.
I didn't real--

Wait. If you're not hogging
the bathroom, who is?

- It's me, dudes.

- Luna?
Are you... primping?

- I'm just getting ready
for the Royal Woods

Astonishing Quest.

Sam's my partner,
s-so I want to look good.

- Sam? Shut up.
- Tell us everything.

- This is your first date,
isn't it?

You must be so nervous.

- Nah, just stoked.

I know Sam and I are gonna
be perfect for each other.

both: Eee!

- Excuse me, ladies.

Mind wrapping this up?

I got some calluses
to scrape off.

- It's all yours, Lynn.

We gotta head
to the Quest anyway.

- Sorry you're banned
this year.

- Though, to be fair,
you were a tiny bit, um...

[clears throat]
...aggressive last time.

- Whoo!

Move it, slowpokes!

Kiss my first-place heinie,
losers! Whoo!

I don't know what
you're talking about.

But anyway, I've moved on.

Now, whose file can I borrow?

[upbeat orchestral music]

♪ ♪

- Hey, Sam.

- Hi, Luna.

- Bring it in!
- Up high!

both: Oops.

Let's try that...
[laughing]

- I'm not sure what we're
supposed to do here.

- Mm...
put 'er there, partner.

[both laugh]

- Hello, everyone.

As mayor of Royal Woods,

it is my pleasure
to welcome all of you

to this year's
Astonishing Quest!

[cheers and applause]

[cymbal crashes]

Got this from my kids
for Christmas.

[futuristic warble]
I like that one.

So, here's how the quest works.

Teams will get clues
that lead them to locations

where they'll have to
complete challenges.

The team that finishes
the last challenge first

will win...
the key to the city!

[triumphant fanfare]
[key shimmers]

Nah, just kidding.

You get this trophy.

It's cute.

Any questions?

- Uh, yeah.

You want to save time

and hand the trophy

to Helen and me now?

- Ooh, sick burn.

[both laugh]

- Good one, Scoots.

[rim sh*t]

Okay, teams.

You have the first clue.

On your marks, get set...

[fart]
Whoops. That's not it.

[air horn blares]

Go!

- "Your first challenge
will be easy to master,

if you're handy
with a blaster."

- Dude, it's the Laser Maze.

- Thanks for the tip, doll.

[tires squealing]
[both laughing]

[upbeat dance music]

- Welcome to Laser Quest,
my dudes.

You need points
to get the next clue.

You can grab your gear inside.

Go forth, Questers!

♪ ♪

- Okay. Lisa and Darcy
are on the left.

Scoots and Helen are trying
to flank us on the right.

Let's move!

- [yelps]
Aw, dang it!

I told you not
to wear white, Darcy.

- Yes!

A hundred points.

We only need more.

- Ambush!

- Yahoo!
- [laughs]

- Sam, cover me!

♪ ♪

[target warbles]

- Haha, thanks for the assist,
butterfingers!

[cool guitar music]

- Well done, sharpshooters.

Took you a little while,
but here's your next clue.

Pew-pew!

- Uh, sorry about that, Luna.

Laser tag just isn't my thing.

- That's okay.
I get into it,

but I know it's not
everyone's jam.

Anyway, we still got
the next clue.

"How now, brown cow?
Don't take a lickin'.

You'll win this round
unless you're chicken."

- Hmm. Cow... chicken...

Oh, that's easy!

[upbeat country music]

♪ ♪

- Well, howdy!

Welcome to my family's farm.

Your challenge is to collect
a dozen eggs

from yonder henhouse.

Oh, and you city folk
might want to breathe

through your mouths!

[hens clucking]

- [clucking]

Aww! Aren't they cute?

[beak shishes menacingly]

- I-I-I don't know, brah.

Those beaks look pretty sharp.

- All done. One dozen eggs.

- Chill, dudes!

[screams]

[hen screams]

♪ ♪

- Here's your next clue.

- Sorry I messed that up.

Farms aren't really my thing.

- That's okay.

I mean, I love them,

but I get they're not
for everybody.

- We'll just avoid any dates

that involve lasers
and livestock.

[both laugh]

- So... here's our next clue.

"Feeling restless?
In a rut?

Come over here
and shake your butt."

- Oh! I know that one.

[cool guitar music]

- Okay, Questers.

Who's ready to get
their cardio on, huh?

Just follow the dance moves
to get the next clue.

- Whoop, whoop!

- All right, a-five,
six, seven, ocho!

[upbeat dance music]

♪ ♪

- Shove off, missy!
This seat's taken.

- Sorry.

Dancing's not really my thing.

- As in... all dancing?

Like, even at concerts?

Cool. I-I get that.

Here's our next clue.

"Your muscles ache,
but don't you stop.

Your challenge is to reach
the top."

Huh.

- Ooh, ooh!
I-I know this one.

- All right, just reach the top
to get the next clue.

- [grunts]
Almost there.

How you doing, Lunes?

- [grunting]

It's not really my thing.

[upbeat music]

- Hey, Luna!

Look at this cute backpack

Lori gave me for the Quest.

Where's Sam?

- Bathroom.
- So? How's it going?

- Not good, dude.
I thought Sam and I

were gonna have everything
in common,

but it turns out
we have, like, nada!

- Oh, well, at least
you have nada.

- Leni, "nada" means nothing.

Okay, don't panic.

This is totally normal
with new couples.

It even happened
with Bobby and me.

- Really? So how'd you deal?

- I embraced the things
Bobby liked,

and he embraced
the things I liked.

Just be open to the stuff
Sam's into,

and you might actually
enjoy it.

[uplifting harp music]

Oh, no.
Leni got off her leash.

Leni! Here, Leni!

- Okay. Next clue.

"Mail that burger
back to sender.

Try something healthy
from our blender."

- Oh! The organic juice store.

- Awesome...

[cool guitar music]

- Namaste, fellow Quester.

Your challenge is to identify
as many ingredients as you can

in our new Earth Warrior Juice.

- Mmm. Hope it's as good as
your Spinach Spritzer, huh?

- Yeah! Mmm.
Let me get in on this.

- Okay, I'm tasting kale,
wheatgrass,

dandelions...
nutritional yeast, and...

- Fish oil.

[quirky music]

- "Tie the knot and cast away.

The wind's at your back,
so don't delay."

Yes! I love sailing.

- Totally, I mean,
you know, who doesn't?

[whimpering]

- Here. Let me help you.

All we gotta do is make it
across the pond.

Luna, hoist the mainsail.

- Um... yeah!
Th-the mainsail.

- Right by the boom?

That pole.

- Right. The pole.

[sail rustling]

Whoa, whoa, whoa!

both: [screaming]

- Well, we got the clue.

I'm sorry about that, Sam.

You know, sailing's just--

- Not really your thing?

Then why didn't you
just tell me that?

- I just wanted us to have
something in common.

[sighs]
Haven't you noticed?

We've kind of got nothing.

- Yeah. I noticed.

It's such a bummer
'cause I kind of thought

we were perfect for each other.

- Me too.

- Well, what do you think?

Should we call it quits?

- Well, we've come this far.

We might as well finish
the Quest anyway.

You know, a-as friends.

- Right. F-friends.

- Well... I guess I should
read the last clue.

"One last challenge,
and then you can gloat.

This Astonishing Quest ends
on a sweet note."

[cool piano music]

- You made it, girls!

Congratulations!

Let me show you
to your station.

Your last challenge is to bake
an apple pie!

Good luck!
[futuristic warble]

both: Ooh.

Baking's not really my thing.

- [gasps]

Okay. Two sticks of butter.

[quirky music]

One cup flour.

Two cups of lard.

And, uh, maybe we should
mix it up now.

[laughing]

[both laughing]

[air horn blares]

- Spatulas down, folks.

We have our Quest winners.

[drum roll]

Scoots and Helen
were the first to finish

the final challenge,
and, bonus,

their pie is delish!

Congrats, ladies.

both: Whoo-hoo!

[tires screech]

- Well, we didn't win,
but I had a lot of fun today.

I think I was wrong before.

I know we don't have
a lot in common,

but maybe we can discover
new things we both like.

You know, like, together.

- I'd really like that.

And, uh, next time,

I'll try not to hit you
with any lasers.

- [giggles] I'll try not
to spit any juice on you.

[both laugh]

[tender music]

[upbeat rock music]

[dog barks]
- Ooh, cute dog.

Is that a corgi?

- Eat my crust, losers!

[laughs]

- Lynn Loud?

I thought I banned you!

[siren wailing]

- Uh-oh.
Floor it, Scoots!

[tires screech]

- Get back here
with that trophy!

[both laugh]

- ♪ Cramped inside
this tiny space ♪

♪ May sound bad
but ain't the case ♪

♪ In the Loud house ♪
- ♪ Loud house ♪

- ♪ Duck and dodge
and push and shove ♪

♪ That's the way we show
our love in the Loud house ♪

- ♪ Loud house ♪

♪ Laundry piles
stacked up high ♪

♪ Hand-me-downs
that make me cry ♪

♪ Stand in line
to take a pee ♪

♪ Never any privacy ♪

♪ Chaos with kids ♪

♪ That's the way
it always is ♪

♪ In the Loud house ♪