02x26 - Back Out There

Episode transcripts for the TV show "The Loud House". Aired: May 2, 2016 - present.*
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Series revolves around the chaotic everyday life of a boy named Lincoln Loud, who is the middle child and only son in a large family of 11 children.
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02x26 - Back Out There

Post by bunniefuu »

- ♪ Crashing through
the crowded halls ♪

♪ Dodging girls
like Ping-Pong balls ♪

♪ Just to reach the bathroom
on time ♪

♪ Leaping over laundry piles

♪ Diapers you can smell
for miles ♪

♪ Guy's got to do
what he can to survive ♪

- ♪ In the Loud house

♪ In the Loud house

- ♪ Duck, dodge, push,
and shove ♪

♪ Is how we show our love

- ♪ In the Loud house,
in the Loud house ♪

- ♪ One boy and ten girls

♪ Wouldn't trade it
for the world ♪

- ♪ Loud Loud Loud

♪ Loud house

- Poo-poo.

[funky music]



[school bell rings]
[boy grunting]

- Man, I hate dodge ball!
Oof!

- Me too!
- It's the worst.

- I'd rather milk
an ornery cow!

- Chill, guys.
Just like we practiced.

Snake formation!

So, we're all chilling at my
place again today?

Left!

- Sure! Oh!

We can make another
popcorn pizza!

- Right!

Sorry guys--
- Left!

- I can't make it.
- Right!

- Lincoln, you haven't
hung out with us all week!

- I know,
I've just had this thing

to take care of.
[whistle blows]

Have fun, guys!
Catch ya later!

Hey! Girl Jordan!
The whistle blew!

- You know,
I'm worried about Lincoln.

It isn't like him to not
want to hang out.

- [gasps] You think maybe an
alien has taken over his body?

- That would explain
the white hair.

- Guys,
it's not an alien!

Lincoln and I have a signal
for that if that happens.

- Well, something ain't right!

- We're Lincoln's friends,
and we have to do something.

- Respect his privacy?

- No! We are totally
going to spy on him

and find out what's going on!

Hey, Girl Jordan!
The whistle blew!

- Ronnie Anne's old house?

This is where he's been
coming every day?

- Doesn't he know
she moved?

- I think I know
what's going on here.

Lincoln's got a classic case
of P.B.B.

- Peanut butter breath?
- No.

- Pale boy bangs?
- No.

- Polybrominated biphenyls?
- No.

Lincoln has P.B.B.,
or Post Break-Up Blues.

The poor guy misses
Ronnie Anne so much

that he's coming here every day
to pine for her.

I learned all about it

in the pamphlets I collected
in Dr. Lopez' waiting room.

- So, what do we do?
Should we talk to him about it?

- No! The pamphlet says
that will just send him

into a denial spiral.

The only way to reverse P.B.B.
and get closure

is to distract him from
thinking about Ronnie Anne

by using a three-step process
called B.B.P.

The first B
is for boys' night out!

- Oh! My memaw said
I have to be home before dark!

- A boys' afternoon out
sounds great, guys!

What brought this on?

- Your P.B.B.
- My what?

- Er, your pale
boy bangs!

They're so pretty, the world
needs to see 'em!

- Come on, Lincoln!

First thing this boys'
afternoon out needs

is some new threads.

My dad said he'd hook us up!

[disco-like music]

- Now,
there's five happenin' cats.

You're gonna be fighting off
the ladies with a stick!

- Aw, dang, I didn't bring
my stick!

- Yeah, thanks!
- These are great!

- Thanks again, Dad!
- Now, you kids have fun.

Make sure to return
the suits by tonight,

and don't get
a single spot on 'em

or you'll be grounded
for a month!

Have fun!
- [gulp]

- Anybody else feel like havin'
buffalo wings?

- And nachos!
- Chili fries!

- Darn tootin'!
- Uh, guys?

Careful, guys!
Zach, napkin!

Lincoln, watch that sauce!

- It's working!
He looks happy.

- These pamphlets
have never steered me wrong.

[music playing]
- Oooh-wee, I love this song!

- You know who else
loves this song?

Ronnie Anne.

[dramatic chords]

- Oh, uh, I just remembered,

I hate this song!
[song changes]

- Let me tell you guys about
our dessert specials.

We've got
the heart-shaped cookie,

the lovers' sundae for two,

and the tira-missyou.
[giggles]

- Nobody wants desserts!
Let's play some games!

- I wanted dessert.

- Let's play
Dance, Dance, Revolution.

[harp chords play]

Never mind!

- Let's just watch some TV.

- Uh-oh! Those are Ronnie Anne's
favorite tag-team wrestlers,

Payne and Suffering!

- Uh, this place is lame.

Who's up for a boys' day out
music montage?!

[disco-like music]





- This boys' day out has been
a blast, you guys!

- That's great to hear, Lincoln.
Would you say you feel

"a sense of closure and more
optimistic about the future"?

- Um, that's pretty specific...
but, yeah, I guess.

[beeping]

Whoops, sorry, guys!

I have to go take care
of that thing again.

[running footsteps]

- Ugh! I can't believe it!

- So much for closure!

- He's back at Ronnie Anne's!

- Ooh-whee! He's got it bad
for that gal!

- Don't worry.
Minor setback.

The pamphlet
says this can happen.

If the first B in B.B.P.
doesn't work,

you just move onto the second
B: Beautiful Ladies.

- That's my favorite B!

[car horn blasts]

Guys, protect the suits!
Snake formation!!

[dramatic music]

Ha! You can't b*at
the Rust Man that easily!

[birds calling]

Noooooo!

Oh, man, what am I gonna tell
my dad about those suits?

- Aww, don't you worry.
You can get bird poop out.

It's donkey poop
you gotta worry about.

- Here comes Lincoln.

We're all clear
about what to do?

- Hey, guys!
- Hey, buddy!

You took care of your...
thing?

- Yep!

- Glad you could hang out
some more!

- I declare, Zach,

isn't that your friend Renee
over there

in yonder comic book store?

- You are right, Liam.

She is probably there

because she is
a huge Ace Savvy fan.

- Hey, Lincoln, you're a huge
Ace Savvy fan, too!

You should go talk
to her!

- I don't--

It's so cool
to meet someone

who loves Ace
as much as I do.

- Same here!

- Whoa, is that the limited
edition Christmas issue

with the variant cover?

- "Deck the Halls"? I've been
looking for that forever.

- Me too.

both: It's the only copy.

- Give it!
- It's mine!

- Looks like we're gonna need
another beautiful lady.

[whack]
And an ice pack.

Hey, Liam, isn't that
your cousin, Hattie?

- Tar-nation!

I didn't see her horse
parked outside.

Lincoln, you should
set next to her.

She's a bigger sci-fi
fan than you are!

- Ooooh! My, my, how do?

I'm Hattie.

- Shh!

- I'm Lincoln.

- You done seen
this picture before?

Oooh! I love the part where
the alien becomes human!

audience: Boo!

- Kind of a spoiler.

- That ain't nothing!

Turns out the whole thing's
just a dream!

[audience groans, mutters]
- She did not say that!

- Rusty, you must know
some beautiful ladies.

- Well, you know--

- Yeah, you're always
bragging about

what a ladies' man you are!

- It's tough on such
short notice--

- Come, on man,
it's for Lincoln!

- Uh...sure.
I can make a call.

Ahh...here comes
the lovely lady now.

- Hello, Rusty!

I'm very excited to meet
this white-haired gentleman

you told me about.

- Rusty, who is that?!

- Uh, my piano teacher?

[dramatic musical sting]

Guys, give me a break!

I've been going through
a bit of a dry spell.

- [sighs] What are we
gonna do, guys?

Nothing seems to be working.

- Hi...yah!

- Wait a minute, guys!
Maybe instead of

meeting someone who likes
the same things as Lincoln,

he needs to meet someone

who likes the same things
as Ronnie Anne.

- Wha-wha-wha!

[screams]

- Ooh, good thinking,
man!

- You should write your own
pamphlets, dawg!

- Well, I finally got all
the hot buttered popcorn

out of my hair and--
Aah!

- Hey, we were thinking about
doing some group karate.

- Uh, guys?
I thought you said group.

- Oh, did you want
to spar?

- No, uh, that's--

- Uh...
[whack, Lincoln yells]

I don't think beautiful ladies
is doing the trick.

- Hi-yah!
[wham]

- Well, in that case,
it's time to move on

to the final letter of B.B.P.--
P for Paradise.

[thud]
- Uhh!

- The pamphlet says

Tahiti and Hawaii
are good options.

- Wha-wha-wha-wha!
- Hmm...

Sounds a little
out of our budget.

- "Hazeltucky Motel
and Water Park."

- Yep! Three days in paradise!
We even packed your bag.

- Uh, guys, I appreciate
the thought,

but why are you doing this?

- Because, buddy, it's the only
way to cure your P.B.B.!

- I have peanut butter breath,
and no one told me?!

- No, Post-Breakup Blues.

We know Ronnie Anne
broke your heart

when she moved away,
and we're trying to

help you put the pieces
back together.

- Yeah, we seen you standing
outside her house,

lookin' like a cat
who done lost his saucer!

- [laughs] Oh, man, that's what
this is all about?

Guys, you got it all wrong.
I don't miss Ronnie Anne.

- Here comes
the denial spiral...

- No, seriously,
I was only sitting

in front of her house because--
- All aboard!

[no sound]

- He'll thank us later.

- Yeah. I just hope he knows
how lucky he is

to have friends like us.

[phone vibrates]

- Huh. Lincoln
must've dropped his phone.

Ronnie Anne?! Ughh!
Unbelievable!

She's still tormenting him?
I'll handle this.

Hello, Ronnie Anne.

This is Clyde,
Lincoln's best friend.

- I know who you are, Clyde.
Where's Lincoln?

- You need to leave him alone!

- Yeah! He needs space
to get over you!

- Get over me?

- Yeah, since you left,
the poor guy's just been

standing in front
of your old house every day.

- Yeah! Because I asked him to
look out for a package

that was sent to me there.

- How's that now?
all: Uh-oh.

- Did you guys do something
stupid again?

- We have to stop that bus!

- Snake formation!
It'll cut down wind resistance!

all: Aaaahhhh!

- I'm glad
they caught you in time.

- Yeah, I've never seen Clyde
run that fast.

He actually threw up.

- You must've been furious
with them

for putting you through
all of that.

- Nah, they were just trying
to be good friends.

Besides, I think they're
suffering enough right now.

- Man, this bird poop
isn't coming out!

- Maybe I was wrong.

Maybe it's donkey poop
that comes out easy

and it's that dang bird poop
that you gotta worry about.

- Well, the good news is,
your package finally arrived!

- Cool! Hey,
could you open it for me?

I want to make sure
it's not damaged.

- [laughing]

Oh, man.
That cost me bucks,

but it was so worth it.

Smell ya later, lame-o.

- Ugh! Ronnie Anne!

Ha.
I guess the guys were right.

I really do miss her.

- ♪ Cramped inside
this tiny space ♪

♪ May sound bad
but ain't the case ♪

♪ In the Loud house
- ♪ Loud house

- ♪ Duck and dodge
and push and shove ♪

♪ That's the way we show
our love in the Loud house ♪

- ♪ Loud house

♪ Laundry piles
stacked up high ♪

♪ Hand-me-downs
that make me cry ♪

♪ Stand in line to take a pee

♪ Never any privacy

♪ Chaos with kids

♪ That's the way
it always is ♪

♪ In the Loud house
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