01x13 - Changing the Baby

[bunniefuu]

♪

- Hey, Lynn,
do you want to read

the latest "Ace Savvy" comic
with me?

- A, Comics are boring,

B, put on some pants,

and, C...ya later!

- Hey, Luan,
do you want to watch

a science-fiction movie
with me?

- Science fiction stinks,
and that's a science fact.

[laughs]
I agree with Mr. Coconuts.

- Hey, Lola, do you want
to check out my coin collection?

I just got this one
from Poland.

It's called a zloty.

- Lame! What's the point
of money that you can't spend?

- Hey, Lucy, do you want to go
ghost hunting with me?

- Why would I want to hunt
my friends?

- Hey, Lana, you want to try

half of my peanut butter
and sauerkraut sandwich?

- I eat some grody things,
but that is disgusting!

[sniffs, retches]

- Round one! Fight!

- Hey, Leni, want to play
video games?

- Those things
will rot your brain.

Besides, I have
fashion magazines to look at.

[door closes]

- You'd think
that with all these sisters,

there'd be just one who likes
the same things I like.

But sadly,
that's not the case.

- [coos]
- Even you, Lily.

Sure you're hanging out
with me now,

but someday you're gonna be
into your own things,

and we'll have nothing
in common,

unless...

- [laughs]

- That's it!

You don't have
your own things yet.

You're like
an unformed lump of clay!

But if I can mold you,
then someone in this house

will finally like
the things I like!

- Hey, Lincoln!
What has two thumbs

and totally wants to hang out
with his best friend?

This guy.

- Sorry, Clyde. I'm in the
middle of something important.

I'm changing the baby.

- "Something important"?

But what's more important
than hanging out with this guy?

Hmm.

- It's just you and me, Lily.

We're gonna have
the best time together!

- [giggles]

- Lily?

- Here are all the things
that make life worth living.

- Blankie!

- No, no, no.
You don't like this.

You like this--

"Starship Groupers"!

My favorite underwater,
intergalactic adventure.

Pew-pew-pew!

Check this out!

It's a -piece replica
of the starship,

built by yours truly.

- [coos]

- Oh, you like it?

Here you go!

- [giggles]

Pew-pew! Pew-pew!

- That's right!
Pew-pew-pew!

Uh, Lily?

You got to, you know,
try to be careful!

- Mm. Pew-pew?

- That's okay. I wanted to get
the -piece model anyway.

Coin collecting is
an awesome hobby, Lily.

You collect coins
from all around the world,

then spend hours of fun
carefully organizing them

by country
and denomination.

Who loves a zloty?
Lily does!

- [coos]

Aah!

- Uh, Lily?

- [babbling]

- Thanks zloty.

This is my favorite sandwich,
Lily--

peanut butter and sauerkraut.

You can't chew it yet,
but...

[blender whirring]

You can drink it!

- Poo-poo!

[giggles]

- Cheers!

[both burp, laughing]

Okay, Lily.

This is my favorite
crime fighter--Ace Savvy.

And this is an Ace Savvy mobile
I made especially for you.

Now look into the mobile.

You will love Ace Savvy.

You will love Ace Savvy.

- [babbles]

- Yes! That's my girl!

I guess we should have
done this

before the peanut butter
and sauerkraut.

Whoo-hoo! Come on, Lily.

I can't wait to show you
more of my favorite things!

- I don't get it. I've been
watching Lincoln all day,

and I still don't see
what Lily has that I don't.

Come on, guys, let's find out.

- Way to go, Lily!

- [giggles]
- Hmm.

- [imitates engine whirring]

[giggles]

- Hmm.

- Put your arms up.

Let's see if we can
find you a white wig.

Hurry up, Lily!

- Hmm.

[upbeat music]

♪

- Amazing!
You really are the best!

- Blankie!

- You don't need
this anymore, Lily!

- I still don't get
what's so great about this baby,

but if that's what
Lincoln wants...

Hey!
I'm having a moment here!

[video game music
playing on television]

- Um, what's going on?

- You guys never want to do
the stuff I like,

so I taught Lily to do it.

Now I won't bother you.
Everybody wins!

- KO!
Player Lily wins!

- [giggling]
- Well, not everybody.

"And Ace Savvy defeated
the evil Card Countess.

The end."

- [snores lightly]

- Thanks
for the best day ever.

I think this is the start
of a beautiful friendship.

[Edvard Grieg's
"Morning Mood"]

Rise and shine, Lily.

We've got a lot to do today.

Aah!

- Now batting,
Number , Lily Loud!

- Huh?

Wah!
Lynn, what are you doing?

- Dude, you're not
the only one in this family

who doesn't have someone
to do stuff with.

Lily's gonna be
my sports buddy.

- Hey, this was my idea,
and I want her back!

- You don't own her!
She wants to hang with me.

- Introducing Luan Loud

and her amazing dummy,
Lil Lil!

Say, Lily, who's your favorite
singer? Lady...

- Gaga!

- What's your favorite
Hawaiian platter?

- Poo-poo!

- Hey, that's no dummy.
That's my cleanup hitter.

- No, she's mine.

- Give me that dummy!

[indistinct arguing]

all: Lily?

- Hee.

- This is Grandma Harriet.

And this is
Abraham Lincoln.

- Lucy, what are you doing?

- I'm introducing Lily
to my ghost friends.

- She already has a friend
named Lincoln!

- Sigh.

- Black is not your color.

Orange is!

Dang it!

- Now, Dylan can only pick
one girl

to spend the rest
of his life with.

And it better be Marisol.

- [blows raspberry]

- Yeah, you're right.

Maybe he will be happier
with Tiffany.

- Give her back, Lori!

- Why should you get her?

I've literally
been waiting years

for someone in this family
who likes the things I like.

- Help!

Oh, thank goodness!

I got in here to show Lily
my fashion magazine,

but now I can't get
out of this baby prison!

[crying]

- Upsy-daisy.
- There you go, Leni.

- Agoo.

- [laughing evilly]

- Poo-poo?

- [laughing evilly]
- Hold it!

[record scratches]
- Are you nuts?

- Come on, Lincoln,
no one in this family

ever willingly lets me
do experiments on them.

- Lisa, she's a baby!

- I was going to give her
a sucker afterward.

- Look, everyone
just stay away from Lily.

She's my little Lincoln!

all: Uh...

- What?

Dang it!

[rock music]

- [giggles]

- Stage dive!

Whoo!

Whoo!

all:
Where's Lily?

- More tea, Lady Lilington?

- She doesn't want to have
a dumb tea party.

She wants to play
with Izzy!

- No, she doesn't!
- Yes, she does!

- No, she doesn't!
- Yes, she does!

- Dudes, give her back!

We were in the middle
of a jam sesh!

- She was my specimen!

- We were talking
to Great-Grandma Harriet.

- We were playing ball!

- We were getting ready
to take our show on the road!

- We were gonna look
at my magazines!

- We were watching
Dylan's date!

- BT-dubs, Lori,

Great-Grandma Harriet knows
you regifted her brooch,

and she is not happy
about it.

both:
Give us back Lily!

[indistinct arguing]

- [giggles]

all: Where do you think
you're going?

- I'll take that.

- Oh, no, you don't!

- Whoops. Sorry, Linc.

- [gasps]

- Sorry, dummy!
[laughs]

- Ha!
Na-na-na, na-na-na!

Lily's invisible!

- Boo.
- [screams]

- Boo.
- Aah!

- [giggling]

[upbeat music]

♪

[slow-motion music]

[slow-motion laughter]

[giggles]
- Dang it.

[indistinct arguing]

- [whistles]

Look, we all want Lily
to be our mini-me, right?

Well, there's only one way
to settle this.

We'll let Lily choose.

Now, whoever Lily crawls to
is the one she wants to be with.

Agreed?

Come on, it's Ace Savvy!

- Wooden you like
to be my friend?

- Low and inside!

- Izzy!

- Look at the magazine!

- Marisol?

- Extra sugar!

- Walk this way!

- Abe Lincoln.

- I have more suckers!

[voices overlapping]

- Lincoln!

You want to hang out
with babies?

Then let's hang.

[all gasp]

- Hey, look!
Lily's coming to me!

- Nuh-uh! To me!

- To me!
- To me!

all:
She chose Clyde?

- I have something to say to
you, little Miss Friend-Stealer.

You are...

absolutely adorable!

No wonder Lincoln
wants to hang with you.

- Clyde, why are you
wearing a diaper?

- You replaced me with Lily,

so I thought this was
the only way to win you back.

- I'd never replace you.
You're my best friend.

- Blankie!

- Her blankie, of course!

Now I get it, you guys.

We can't mold Lily!

No matter what we do,

she's always gonna want
the things she wants.

Besides, I forgot
I already have someone

who likes everything I like.

What do you say, Clyde?
Want to hang?

- Sorry, Lincoln.

Lily and I have plans.

Hey, Lily, what has four thumbs
and loves milk?

These guys!
- [babbles]

- Bobby, does your Mom still
have that brooch I gave her?

- ♪ Cramped inside
this tiny space ♪

♪ May sound bad
but ain't the case ♪

♪ In the Loud house
- ♪ Loud house

- ♪ Duck and dodge
and push and shove ♪

♪ That's the way we show
our love in the Loud house ♪

- ♪ Loud house

♪ Laundry piles
stacked up high ♪

♪ Hand-me-downs
that make me cry ♪

♪ Stand in line to take a pee

♪ Never any privacy

♪ Chaos with kids

♪ That's the way
it always is ♪

♪ In the Loud house