04x19 - Stall Monitor/A Pimple Plan

[bunniefuu]

- ♪ Crashing through
the crowded halls ♪

♪ Dodging girls
like Ping-Pong ba*ls ♪

♪ Just to reach the bathroom
on time ♪

♪ Leaping over laundry piles

♪ Diapers you can smell
for miles ♪

♪ Guy's got to do
what he can to survive ♪

- ♪ In the Loud house

♪ In the Loud house

- ♪ Duck, dodge, push,
and shove ♪

♪ Is how we show our love

- ♪ In the Loud house,
in the Loud house ♪

- ♪ One boy and ten girls

♪ Wouldn't trade it
for the world ♪

- ♪ Loud Loud Loud

♪ Loud house

- Poo-poo.

[rock music]

♪

- Now don't forget, class,

parent-teacher conferences
are tonight from : to : .

Oh, Lincoln, I'm looking
forward to seeing your parents.

It's very important
that I speak with them.

- [gulp]
Uh, but, I--

- Gotta run.

I'm meeting my mother
for vinyasa yoga.

[sighs] She's going to know
I haven't been practicing.

Woman can bend like a pretzel.

- Clyde, what could that mean?

- I think vinyasa's the kind
of yoga that focuses on flow.

- No, what awful thing is
Mrs. J gonna tell my parents?

[gasps] It's probably about
the time I called her Mom

instead of Mrs. J.

[gasps]
Or the time I fell asleep

during the video about string.

[gasps]
Or maybe it's something so bad

I blocked it from my memory.
[gasps]

- Here, breathe, buddy.Breathe!

- I dunno why
you're freaking out.

We've all called
Mrs. Johnson "mom" before.

- [groans]

Sometime between
: and : tonight,

my life will be over.

- Hi, y'all.

Okay, here's the signup sheet
for tonight's conferences.

Tell your parents
to get here early

'cause it's first come,
first served.

- First come, first served?

Maybe there's a way my parents
won't have to meet Mrs. J,

but I'm going
to need your help.

- You got it, buddy.
- No problem.

- You got it, man.
- I'm in.

- Lincoln, it's almost : .
It's time to go.

- Great, I'm all set.

- Pants?

- What?
[groans]

Totally forgot 'em.
One sec.

- Hurry, son.

We don't want to be the last
ones on the signup sheet.

- Uh, Lincoln?

- Dang it.
Almost had it.

[groans]
Huh?

[both groan]

[crowd clamoring]

- Aww, we got
the last ding-dang slot.

- Welcome, y'all.

Now parents,
you stay here and mingle

while you wait to meet
with Mrs. Johnson.

And kids...
[whistles]

Follow this party train
to the cafeteria.

Chugga-chugga-chugga-chug!
Chew with your mouth closed.

Chugga-chugga-chugga-chugga!

- Hey,
you must be Zach's folks.

What a fun use of tinfoil.

- It's to pick up
alien signals.

- Okay,
phase one was a success.

My parents
are the last on the list.

You guys ready for phase two?

- Oh, heck yes.
I love that game.

- No, no, no, phase two
of the plan.

Getting our parents
to stall Mrs. J,

so there won't be any time left
for Lincoln's parents.

- Okay, Rusty,
your dad is up first.

- Watch and learn, guys.

- Mr. Spokes, you're up, hon.

- Dad, got a hot tip.

Mrs. J's been looking
to upgrade her wardrobe.

- Ha-cha!

This is why a good salesman

always carries samples
in the car.

- Spokes, you're a genius.

[squeaking]
Huh?

- She hates polyester,Rust.

- Why would she not want
a timeless material

that never shrinks
or wrinkles?

Sorry, Linc, I tried.

- Step aside, Rust.
Leave it to the pros.

- Mr. and Mrs. Gurdle,
you're up.

Ooh, I love those hats.

It's like walking around
with a couple baked taters.

- Mom, Dad,
just wanted to warn you.

Mrs. J has been
acting strange lately,

even...alien-like.

Well, have fun.

- Mr. and Mrs. Gurdle.
Have a seat.

both: We prefer to stand.

- Uh, oh, okay.

Well, Zach's a great student.

Uh, and he has
a very active imagination.

Last week he made up
a cute story

about the Abominable Snowman

working as a hot dog vendor
in Kentucky.

- That's not a story.

We're planning a family trip
to see him next summer.

- Oh, well, I--
Uh, is that my coffee mug?

-Just grabbing
a quick DNA sample.

Now, may I see your hands
for a moment?

I'd like to harvest
a few of your fingernails

for closer inspection.

- [chuckles]

- Sweet!
- Awesome.

- Way to go.
- Nice job.

- Wow, Zach.

Your parents took up
minutes.

Clyde, you're next.
What's your plan?

- Oh, don't worry, Lincoln.
With my dads, I don't need one.

- Welcome, McBrides.
Well, I'll keep it brief.

Clyde is an excellent student
and a delight in class.

Thank you for coming.

- Actually,
we have a few questions

about classroom safety.

Life jackets under the desks,
you have them, yes?

- Well, actually--

- What's the UV rating
on these windows?

We assume you provide
the students with sunblock.

- Well, Mr. McBride, we--

- And what about
chalk dust levels?

- Nice one, Clyde.
Another minutes down.

Liam, ready for your turn?

- Yup, I asked my Mee-Maw
to bring Carol Anne,

so we'll be as golden as
a fresh batch of biscuits.

Especially if Carol Anne finds
the present I left in my desk.

- You must be Liam's Mee-Maw.
I've heard so much about you.

- Oh, likewise, Mrs. Johnson.

[goat bleats]
- Uh, and this is...

- Oh. Carol Anne.
She's due any day now.

Oh, she'll be fine.

As long as she doesn't eat
anything spicy.

[alarm blares]

[goat bleats, yells]

Whoo-whee, we're about
to have us some goat babies.

Clear your desk, Mrs. Johnson.
We need a birthing bed.

[popping, goats bleat]

- Aw, they're so cute.
- Congrats, Liam.

- This is great.

Only minutes left
until the conferences are over.

- Don't worry,

my parents will take
at least that long.

- Stella?
- Mom, what are you doing here?

- Your dad just got kicked
by an angry mama goat.

- Oh, my gosh.

- We have to take him
to urgent care.

- Sorry about your dad,
Stella.

Okay, not gonna panic.

I can still find
a way out of this.

- Louds, you're next.

- [gasps] Oh, no.
This is it.

- Oh, be right back,
Mr. and Mrs. Loud.

Just going to run
to the restroom.

- If only we could keep
her from coming back.

- I could make up a diversion.
- Are you sure?

I thought deception
makes your stomach hurt.

- It's worth a pot
of chamomile tea

to keep my bestie
out of trouble.

- I'll help.
I just like making stuff up.

- Uh, still one problem.
Your parents.

They're not going to leave
without seeing Mrs. J.

- Hmm!

And that's who
they're gonna get.

- What if I say
the wrong thing

and your parents
catch on to me?

- Don't worry.

I'll be under the desk
in case of an emergency.

- Oh, good.

Don't tell my dad,

but I see why Mrs. J
digs these natural fibers.

So breathable.

- Mrs. Johnson!

Quick,
there's a grammar emergency

that needs immediate attention.

[stomach growls, groans]

- Clyde, it looks like
this question

is eating away at you.

I'll help,
but only for a second.

I need to finish
my last conference.

- Oh, Mrs. Johnson,
you're back.

Must've scurried
in here quieter

than a fox in a henhouse.

Is that new lipstick?
Ooh, I love a bold red.

- [chuckles]

Um, hello.
Have a seat.

- So, how's our Lincoln doing?

- Well, uh, he's a good student
and that's about it.

Thanks for coming.

- Uh, wow.

This is the fastest
parent-teacher conference

we've ever been to,
and we've been to a few.

- Well, it's nice to hear
that Lincoln's doing well.

Have a good night.

You're reading
"A Horse Named Javier"?

My book club can't put it down.
What's your favorite part?

- Oh, uh, I liked
the part where he was, uh...

[horse neighs]

Galloping, but then he...
grew wings and started to fly.

But he said, "No, Javier.

Go back to being
a horse again?"

- Hmm.
Interesting interpretation.

- Anyway, thanks for coming in.
Drive safe.

- Oh, namaste.

I didn't know you were
a fellow yogi.

- Huh?
- Do you mind taking a look

at my grasshopper pose?
I'm not sure I've quite got it.

Might help to see
how you do it.

- Thanks for explaining
the difference

between further and farther.

I'd love to discuss
it further.

- You're welcome, Clyde,

but we should also discuss

what constitutes
a grammar emergency.

Now I really have
to get back to my conferences.

- Wait, what about
who and whom?

Lincoln, we've got a problem.

Mrs. J's heading back
to her classroom.

- [groans]
Am I doing the legs right?

- Uh, uh...

- Rusty's stuck here.
We're sunk.

- Don't worry, guys.
I got this.

Will the owner
of a white sedan

please report
to the parking lot?

Your car is being towed.

- [gasps] My car!

[car remote clicks]
Oh, Daisy, you're okay.

I guess it
was someone else's car.

Dang it.

- Thanks for the assist,
Mrs. Johnson.

You are quite the yogi.

- And you should come to
my book club.

We could use
a fresh perspective.

- Oh, uh, I--

- Ah!
Mrs. J!

both: Rusty?
- What is going on, Mr. Spokes?

- Wait.
Ow!

This isn't his fault.
It's mine.

both: Lincoln?

- I've been stalling
the conferences all night

because I was afraid
of what Mrs. Johnson

was going to tell you about me.

I'm so sorry, Mrs. J,

and I accept whatever
punishment you think I deserve.

- I think a week's detention
should do the trick.

- Followed by a week
of being grounded at home.

- [sighs]
- So, Mrs. Johnson,

what were you going
to tell us about Lincoln?

- Oh, only that
he's a very resourceful

and creative student.

And tonight,
in a weird way, proves that.

- I'll take it.

- Well, you all have
a good evening.

- Now hang on, Mr. Spokes.

I'm afraid you've earned
a little punishment yourself.

- [gulps]

- Wow, Agnes, you really
have been practicing,

and I love that new lip color.

- Well, thank you, Mother.
[strains]

[upbeat music]

♪

[rooster crows]

- Good morning, Mr. Coconuts.

- Wow, you're extra chipper
today.

What's the occasion, doll?

- Today is my first official
date with Benny, remember?

- Oh right,
how could I forget?

- What should I wear?
Maybe these gag glasses?

Always a classic.

Or what about
this mini top hat?

[gasps, yells]

- Geez, the hat
doesn't look that bad.

- No, look,
I have a huge pimple.

I can't let Benny
see me like this.

Oh, why didn't you
say anything?

- I didn't notice, but I can
certainly see it now.

Yowzers!
Hello, operator?

Get me NASA.
I just discovered a new planet.

- Not helping, Mr. C.

- Okay, take a deep breath.

Pimples are literally
no big deal,

and plus, Benny should
like you for who you are,

not what you look like.

- Maybe you're right.

- Good golly, Miss Molly.
That thing's a monster.

- It is?

- Monster, where?

Aw, it's just a zit,
but man, is it huge.

Can I pop it?
Can I pop it please?

- Uh, popping that beast
will spread the bacteria.

- Wait, isn't your date
with Benny today?

- Yes, so I've got
to get rid of this.

Can you guys help me?

Please?

- I still don't think you
should worry about it,

but if it's literally that
important to you, I'll help.

According to
" / Magazine,"

this pimple patch
should vanish your zit

in five seconds or less.

- Hit me.

- Three, two, one.
Rip it.

- Did it work?
- Of course it didn't work.

We in the scientific community

refer to these ludicrous
claims as malarkey.

- [groans]

- But don't fret.
I've got your back.

[beep, machine whirrs]

- Ah!

- [gasps]
Is this safe?

- In the hands of a skilled
professional like me,

you have nothing
to worry about.

- [yelling]

- Dang it.
- Oopsie daisy.

This skilled professional
owes you a scrunchy.

- And some lumber
for a new mug!

- [panting]

[whistle blows]

- Faster!

Do you wanna sweat
that nasty pimple out or what?

- Are you sure
this is gonna work?

- Margo's older cousin said
it does, so it has to be true.

- [yells]

- Wait, Margo's cousin
also said the Jaguars

were gonna win the title this
year and they beefed it again.

Yeah, sorry.
- [groans]

- Spirits of skincare,
take this cookie.

I mean, human heart

in exchange for the removal
of Luan's pimple.

- Oh.

- Sorry, Luan,
the spirits seem to be busy.

- Yeah, it must be zit season.

- Rip Hardcore
says that frozen meat

reduces swelling
for bug bites,

so maybe it works
for pimples too.

[dog barks]

- No, Charles.
That's not for you.

- [yelling]

- Yowzers!

That thing's takin' up so much
real estate on your face,

you might wanna think
about charging it rent.

- Oh, what am I going to do?

My date's in a half an hour

and I'm no closer
to getting rid of this thing.

- Guess you'll just have
to trust he likes you,

zits or not.

- Wait,
if we can't get rid of it,

maybe we can cover it up.

- Hmm, I'm gonna need you
to back up, sweetie.

- Miguel is the makeup master.

You should've seen how
he transformed Scoots

for the Sunset Canyon Formal.

- A little finishing spray
and voila.

Dazzling and date-ready.
How much do you love it?

- I can't even see the zit.
- Spectacular.

- Thanks Miguel.
You really are the master.

- Oh, thank you
for providing the canvas.

Here are some samples
in case you need a touch up

during your date.

- Hey, ya can do something
about this burn?

Her sweetheart might be
bringing my sweetheart

along for the date.

- Love a girl
who can rock a petticoat.

I think we can fix up
your noggin.

- [groans]

- [coughs]

Lola, how many perfume samples
did you take?

- What?
The sign said help yourself.

- [gasps]
We're here.

You guys are the best.
Thanks again for your help.

- Have a great date.
- You got this.

- Benny's a lucky dude.

- Wait!
Anyone got a breath mint?

[all coughing]

- So what's on the agenda?

I saw a photo booth back there.

We should jump in
and give it a go.

- And memorialize
this gross thing forever?

I don't think so.

[gasps]
There he is.

[romantic music]

♪

- Hey, Benny.
- Hi, Luan.

These are for you.
They're from our garden.

- Wow, daisies.

[sniffs]
Ah, they smell so fresh.

- And this is for you,
my lady.

- [gasps]
Oh, wow, wood polish.

Mmm, smells so musty.

- So, Luan,
you ready for a fun day?

- Are you kidding me?

She's been counting down
the seconds.

- [chuckles]

- Hoo, oh, paddle boats are
way harder than I thought.

I'm getting
a little sweaty here.

- Oh, no.
Am I sweating, too?

[gasps]
Oh, uh, don't go anywhere.

I'll be back in a splash.

[chuckles]

- Luan's hilarious.

You just never know
what she's going to do next.

- Indeed, Benjamin.
She's a keeper.

- Oh, pick up, pick up,
pick up, pick up.

- Hey, Luan.

Are you having
the best time ever?

- No, the worst.
I sweated all my makeup off.

Can you bring me those makeup
samples from Miguel

and meet me
in the park bathroom?

[all gasp]

- Lola used up all the makeup!
- What?

Mr. Sprinkles wanted to see

what he'd look like
as a princess.

Dashing, I might add.

- [sighs]

Just grab
my emergency clown bag

in the trunk and hurry.

- Look,
the photo booth is open.

We could snap a few.

- [groans]
Not now, Mr. C.

- Hey Luan,
is this the right bag?

Yup.

- Sorry, Lincoln.

Now where's my face paint?

[upbeat music]

[horn honks]

- [chuckles]
Love the new look.

- Oh, you know me.

Always clowning around.

- Wow, Benny,
this picnic is so nice.

- Care for a macaron?

My mom and I made them
last night.

- Yes, please.

- And he bakes?
Hang on to this one.

- Hey, look, a clown.
- I'm gonna get you.

- Um, I'll be right back.

[children cheering, laughing]

- Turns out it wasn't a great
idea to dress like a clown

in a park full
of small children.

I need a new cover for my zit.
- Copy that.

Cover, cover, cover.

- Get your Flippees here.

Now also serving hot dogs.

And for a limited time,
cotton candy.

- [snap]

- h*, h*, h*.

Got any more of those cookies
for Santa?

- Wow, all the way
from the North Pole.

Wanna play some chess?

Hmm.

[fly buzzes]

- [groaning]

[gasps]

[chuckles]

Hmm, if I move
my bishop here...

And just leave your rook
flapping in the breeze?

But then Luan will probably
move her queen there.

- Hey, scram, would ya?
This is my turf.

- Sorry.
Gotta pee real quick.

- Oh, oh, okay.
We'll be here.

- What do you think
of my new look?

Too corny?

- No, I love it.

Okay, I finally made my move.
It's your turn.

- Hmm.

[horse whinnies]
Huh?

- Looks like somebody's
got a crush.

- Uh oh.

Sorry, I, uh, gotta go,
uh, charge my phone.

- But you just got back,

and we don't have
that much time left.

- Won't be long.

[yelling]

[grunts, horse whinnies]

Oh, no.
[grunts]

Mayday.
I need your help.

- Okay, everybody.
On the count of three.

One, two, three.

- Whoa!

- Are you okay?
- I've been better.

- Luan?

- Benny at : !
[grunts]

- Everybody, form a wall.

- Uh, hey, Luan,
and all of Luan's siblings,

is everything okay?

I'm really sorry, but my mom
is on her way to pick me up.

- No, I'm sorry.

Today was supposed to be
about spending time together,

but now our date
is almost over,

and I've spent the whole time
hiding from you.

- Why have you been hiding?
- Oh, I'll show you.

- What?
- No!

- Guys, it's okay.

I've been hiding this.

- [yells]

- I understand
if you don't want

to hang out with me anymore.

I mean,
who wants to date a girl

with a gross pimple
on her cheek, right?

- Um, I do.

I don't care
if you have a pimple.

You're still you.

You're sweet,
you crack me up,

and you're so much fun
to hang out with.

- Oh.
[chuckles]

- So romantic.

You wouldn't happen to have
a little brother, would you?

- All right, let's go.

- Pimples are no big deal.
They're just a part of life.

- You're right.

Thanks for making me
feel better.

I'm sorry I wasted our whole
date obsessing about this.

- Well, we still have
five minutes

before my mom gets here.

- Ooh.
I know what we should do.

[camera shutter clicks]

[both laugh]

- Wow, these turned out great.

I'm gonna hang a copy
in my locker.

- I was thinking
the same thing.

- I had a really nice time
with you today.

- Me too.

[machine beeps]
both: What the...

[ominous music]

- ♪ Cramped inside
this tiny space ♪

♪ May sound bad
but ain't the case ♪

♪ In the Loud house
- ♪ Loud house

- ♪ Duck and dodge
and push and shove ♪

♪ That's the way we show
our love in the Loud house ♪

- ♪ Loud house

♪ Laundry piles
stacked up high ♪

♪ Hand-me-downs
that make me cry ♪

♪ Stand in line
to take a pee ♪

♪ Never any privacy

♪ Chaos with kids

♪ That's the way
it always is ♪

♪ In the Loud house