02x31 - Lights, Camera, Duel

[bunniefuu]

♪ Your move, your move,
your move, your move ♪

♪ Your move,
your move! ♪

♪ Yu-gi-oh!

It's time

To d-d-d-duel!

♪ Yu-gi-oh!

Yugi: the directions we got
from joey's duel disk

Said kaiba corp stadium's
about blocks from here!

Joey: den why
are we parkin' all
the way back here

In nowheres ville,
mai?

So when the finals
are over,

We won't get stuck
in traffic!

Oh yeah.
Good thinkin'.

Now let's get ova there

And see who else
made it to da finals.

So, mai...
Looks like you're gettin'

Another shot
at a tournament championship

After not quite makin'
da cut last time.

That's right,
and thistime I plan

To crush
you andyugi

In front
of a sold-out crowd.

In your dreams!

By da way...

There's something
I been meaning
to ask you for a while...

Why'd you save my hide
in the duelist
kingdom finals?

Mai: get up
off the floor, joey!!

And quit all
your crying already,

You look like a big baby!

Who's cryin'?

I got somethin'
in my eye!

Stupid thing
won't come out...

Here. Just don't
go blowin' your
nose in it.

Tea told me
about your
little sister...

How you're
dueling to win
the prize money

So she can
have that operation.

Sounded like
a bad soap opera
to be honest,

But then,
who doesn't love
a bad soap opera?

Anyway,
see ya round, hun.

Mai's tournament
entry card.

I woulda been
kicked right out.

You looked
totallypathetic...

And I guess i...

I was touched
by your story,

And I wanted
to help, ok!?

Whoa! Check it out!

Will you pay attention!

Yeah, yeah...

But look, it's
jean claude magnum's

Latest ninja flick!

Dat guy rocks!
I gottasee dis one!

I don't know why I
even bother trying
to talk to you!

Look out!

Mai: ohh.

Joey: you gotta
be kiddin',
drivin' like dat!

Who does he
dink he is!?

Ohh!
Ohh!

Look, pal.
Around here we--

Grr.

Sorry kid.

Hope my entrance
didn't spook ya.

Serenity: hey isn't
that the same guy
in the poster?

Aah!

But...you...him...
What!?

It's you!
Jean claude magnum!

I'm your
number one fan!

Maybe ya heard a me.

I'm kind of
a celebrity myself.

Ya know,
second place...

Duelist kingdom.

Ha ha! Huh?

Long time no see,
sugar.

Huh?

Don't you see
I've come back
for you, mai,

Just like you told me to.

Sorry, slick,

But you've got
the wrong girl.

Huh?

You mean
ta tell me
you're pals

Wit hollywood's
ninth biggest
box office draw?

I've never
seenhim before!

Mai! Sugar!

Have you forgotten
the offer you made me

Exactly one year ago?

What offer?

It was an offer
of love, mai.

Look what I've got.

Say goodbye to the rest
of your life points.

This duel's over.

Huh? I never lose!

It must be a mistake!

Your only mistake
was challenging me
to a duel.

Well...?

Why don't you
duel someone

At your own level?

The kiddie room's
downstairs.

You've got spunk.

I like a girl who can
stand up to me

And tell me what's
on her mind...

Take this ring, mai,
and be my wife.

Whatta ya say, sweetums?

Ohh.

But, mai, wait!

Ask me again when
you can beat me

In duel monsters.

Oh...
Guess it's too late

To say
I was kidding, eh?

I've come here today
to make you

The luckiest girl
in the entire world...

Mrs.jean claude magnum!

Sorry, ninja boy,
I'm not interested.

Whoa! Slow down
there, mai!

Da man's come
a long way,

The leastyou could
do is consider
his offer.

Face it, mai.
He's a movie star,

And you're
always cravin'
attention right!?

Ohh!

Gimme one good reason why
I should marry this clown.

Because if you
don'tmarry him,

Iwon't be able
to visit

Your beverly hills
mansion!

Hee hee hee!

Magnum:
you toldme to come back

When I can beat you
in a duel.

Ok, then let's
settle this

With a duel,
hot-shot.

And if I win, you'll
come back to hollywood
with me and become my bride.

You don't stand
a chance, ace.

Mai, wait!

Tristan:
yeah you're
alreadygoing

To the finals,

Don't duel
this guy!

Hate to bring
this up...

But jean claude magnum

Has some serious
kung fu skills.

It wouldn't be wise
to get him mad.

Don't sweat it, guys.

Mai'll win in no time,
and we'll still make
the finals.

Yeah you should
duel 'im, mai!

Hey, a second ago
you told me

I should marry him!

Ah, I didn't say
to win!

Just do me a favor,
and let mr. Ninja

Borrow your duel disk,
a'right?

Whaaaat!!!??

Not necessary.

Ha! Hmm!

He's got a duel disk!?

Yugi: but duel disks
are only supposed
to be issued

To high-ranked
duelists!

Who says I'm not
high-ranked, shorty?

The fact is, I've won
fivelocator cards.

Does that mean
if mai loses this duel

She'll lose
a locator card

And her slot
in the finals?

Why, that's exactly right.

I'll take her place
in the finals

Not to mention
her hand in marriage.

Yugi: you don't
have to accept

This guy's
challenge.

It's not
worth risking
the finals for!

Yugi's right, mai.

No way.

I wanna show
mister hollywood ninja boy

That I'm not just
some prize to be won.

Magnum: then prepare
to lose this duel!

But win a husband
who's a star!

Yugi: I can't believe
mai's risking her spot

In the battle city finals

Just to show up
jean claude magnum!

Magnum:
remember, doll-face,

When I win,
you marry me!

Now let's duel!

Excellent!

I play
ninja commander ikusa

In attack mode!

He kinda looks like me,

But my physique
is better.

Now feast your eyes

On my ninja commander's
special ability.

Tristan: there's two!

You know, it's probably
just some hollywood
special effect!

Ha ha ha!

It's called
multiplicity, kid,

And as long as I keep
my ninja commander
in attack mode,

I can summon
ninja soldier katana
to the playing field.

Don't sound
so confident,
you b-movie hack,

Your monsters
are just like
your movies:

Second-rate
and not around
for very long!

Touche.

Bad reviews aren't
always easy to hear.

And now!

Let's see how your
ninjaslike this!

My amazon
sword woman!

Slice and dice his
ninja soldier

With your
amazon slash attack!

Unh!

Duke devlin:
this guy's not like
he is in the movies.

Jean claude duels
like an amateur,

And not only that,
he's much shorter
than he looks on-screen!

I see that you
haven't changed

Your aggressive
style of dueling,
my little sweet pea...

You're still
as charming as ever.

I play another
ninja commander
in attack mode!

And just like before,
I'll use his special ability

To summon another
ninja soldier
to the field!

Your dueling's
just one bad sequel
after another.

That attitude
only makes me
love you even more.

Ugh.

I think that mai's
really cool,

Don't you joey?

She's so tough.

I'd love to be
like that.

You serious?

Yeah, she doesn't let
anyonepush her around.

I guess!
If you think it's cool

To have a really
loud mouth,

A mean disposition,
and to walk around

Actin' like you're
the greatest thing
since cheese fries...

Sure I guess you could
say mai's cool.

I wouldn't though.

Magnum: sugarplum?
Were you day-dreaming
about our wedding?

I'd rather
eat worms, romeo.

Now,
amazon sword woman,

Attack his
ninja commander!

Aah!

I'm afraid
that you've walked

Right into the trap
I set, darling.

What are you
talking about?

Your mistake.

Now that you've sent
my ninja commander

Andmy ninja soldier
to the graveyard,

All I have to do is
sacrifice one more ninja,

And you're in trouble!!

Ninja soldier,ba-bye.

Your job's done.

It's time to bring out
the real star!

I summon
ninja master shogun!

[Growling]

What a surprise--
more ninjas!

Ever think
about trying
a different role?

You ain't seen
nothin' yet.

When my ninja master's
in attack mode

He can summon
two more ninjas,

So meet
ninja commando kabuki

Andanother
ninja soldier.

And in another plot twist
my kabuki ninja

Can also summon
a monster to the field.

So heeeeeeeere's
kunoichi ayame
the ninja girl!

That's four ninjas
for the price of one!

Serenity: joey, does this
mean mai's in trouble?

Nah. It'll take
a lot more

Than a bunch
of second-rate ninjas

To stop a duelist
like mai.

Trust me.

I know first-hand
how good she is.

Ninja master!

Attack her
amazon sword woman

With your merciless
flame attack!

[Growls]

Aah!

Aah!

And now my four ninjas,

Attack my future wife's
life points directly!

[Gasping]

That's rough.

Ohh!

Magnum: sorry,
my little ginger snap.

But that's the price
you pay for love!

But hey...
When I defeat you,

At least you'll have
a husbandwho's
a battle city finalist!

You could brag
about me, right?

Really? You're
so sensitive,jean.

Stop flirtin', mai,

There's too much
on da line ova here!

If this keeps up,
she'll have to
marry this creep

Andforfeit
her place

In the battle city
finals!

I'll place one card
face down

And ready my ninjaarmy
for a final attack!

It's true
what they say, mai.

Sometimes you have to...

Destroythe ones you love!

Your life points
are wide open

For attack, my dear!

Not for long...

Show your claws,
my cyber harpie!

I hate to leave you
at the altar,

But I'm not
losing this duel!

Cyber harpie,
scratch out
his ninja master!

You've set off my trap!

Unleash ninja smoke ball!

[Coughing]

I'm afraid your attack
has just been blocked.

Which means your
ladybird's gotta take
her claws offa my ninja!

Tristan:
mai, crushthis wannabe!

I'll finish
with one card
face down,

And it's
back to you.

No hard feelings?
Alright!

It looks like
we'll be walking
down the aisle together

Sooner than I'd expected!

You'll be limping
down the aisle alone
when I'm done with you!

Are you bitter because
hollywood's hottest
celebrity's

About to take your place
in the battle city finals?

Observe my magic card...

Go!

Great kiteof ninja...

Hovering overhead,
my ninja masteris protected

From all of your monster
att*cks andmagic cards!

Oh no!

My kitealso allows
my ninjato bypass

Any of your monsters
and attack your
life pointsdirectly

As long as I sacrifice one
of my ownmonsters first!

So now I'll sacrifice
my ninja soldier...

And attack
your life points

With my ninja master's
thunder attack!

Unh!

Atta boy!
We're almost done!

Now we can start
planning our honeymoon
on waikiki beach!

I wouldn't pick your
best man just yet!

Mai's gonna
get bumped
from the finals,

And then
she'll have to
marry this jerk!

No! We can't
let that happen!

Hey, yuge, can mai
turn this around?

Mm-hmm. If she plays
harpie's feather duster

It would cancel out
all active magic cards
on the playing field!

You don't happen to have
harpie's feather duster
in your hand do ya?

Doncha think
I woulda used
it by now!?!

In dat case,
what do ya think
I should wear

To your hollywood wedding,
huh, mai?

I just can't lose!
No way!

[Thinking]
now there's
a magic card

That'll help!

Let's just get this
over with shall we?

Time is money.

And the finals await.

Yuge we need a plan
before dat flyin' ninja
att*cks again.

Mai should focus
on destroying

The ninjas
on the groundfirst.

Remember he has
to sacrifice them

To attack
her life points,

But if she wipes
them out first,
she'll be safe.

Yeah, you're right!

Hey, mai, I got some great
ninja-destroying advice!

Look, I can do this
on my own!

Well excuse me.

I was only trying
to help you win

So you wouldn't
have to miss out

On the battle city finals,
mrs. Grumpinheimer!

Just keep your
big mouth zipped

Or I'll stick your
duel disk in it!

Tristan:
she's gotta get rid

Of those other
three ninjasnow.

One more
direct attack,

And her life points
are history!

Then it's good-bye,
battle city
finals...

Duke devlin:
...and hello,
mrs. Magnum!

We're all
behind you, mai!

I get the point!

Then duel
like the mai I know!

Huh?

[Thinking]
alright. No more
mrs. Nice mai!

Watch out, jean!
I'm back!

I play a magic card!

Elegant egotist!

It turns one harpie
into three.

Take out his ninjas!

Yeah!
Yeah!
All right!

Hmm.

Duh!

Yer starting
to bug me, kid!

You talkin' to me...
Ninja nerd?

Why doncha leave
this duel

To the grown-ups,
you little twerp!?

Don't push me,
claude!

Or I'll show ya
a few ninja moves
of my own,

Ya big ape!

Huh?

Err! Uh, what?

I'd do the same
for any of you!
Hee hee hee!

That whole tough guy routine
is really cute, kid.

But mai's
a big girl now, jimmy.

She doesn't need
the whole play group
looking out for her.

Look, pal!
The name's joey!

And after that
remark of yours,

You can consider
my membership

In the jean claude magnum
fan club cancelled, ya fraud!

Well...
I'll survive somehow.

But the money and fame
just won't feel
the same without you.

Ahem.

If you two
are done...

I'm placing one card
face down!

It's about time.

That's right!

You remember
my ninja girl
don't you!?

Hai!

Ha! Once I sacrifice her,

My ninja masterwill
finish you off for good!

Oh no!

Oh yes!

Sorry but
I'm about to cut

Your ninja girl
from the scene

With my grave arm
magic card!

It sends
her directly

To the card
graveyard.

No way!

You've got
no monsters
to sacrifice!

But wait
there's more!

You forgot one
veryimportant thing.

That kiteup there
may protect

Your ninja master
from being att*cked,

But it also takes
your monster out
of allthe action,

Includingdefending
your life points.

Which means that
you're wide open
for a direct attack.

So you can cancel
those wedding plans

Because
I'llbe busy--

At the battle city
finals!

Ohh!

Now, cyber harpies!

Finish off
this washed-up
has-been!

Attack his
life points directly

With your triple
scratch attack!

Ohh!

Unh!

Joey: show's ova!

Ohh.

I give you
two thumbs down,
movie-boy!

I hope you've
learned I'm not
a prizeto be won.

Ha ha ha!

I think
I'm missing the joke.

Tristan:
it's not you, joey,

He's lost it!

Oh there's
a joke all right,

And if you're missing it,
that's probably because
the joke is on you.

Please stop
reciting your lines!

The duel's over,

Get outta
my life now!

Your monster's
still there!

Duke devlin:
but the duel's over!

Tea: all the dueling
holograms

Should have
disappeared!

Hey, guys, I don't think

That's a hologram!

[All screaming]

Joey: dat flyin'
ninja's closin' in!

Welcome to the world
of hollywood special effects,

Where anythingcan happen!

Ohh! Aah!

Let me out,
you sore loser!

Joey: mai!

If I can't win
your heart, mai,

Then I'm just gonna
have to stealit!

You won't get away
wit dis!

Come back, joey!

Let me go!

[Mai grunting]

Nice work!

Now get her down quickly!

[Joey panting]

Hang on, mai!

Huh?
Huh?

Put me down now,
you ninjafreak!

Joey:
mai, be careful!

Aah!

Joey: mai!!

[Grunting]

Hang on!

I'm comin'!

She needs help!

But I've got
no idea what to do!

Joey: hey, mai!

Come on, let go!

Are you nuts!
No way!

Do it! I swear
I'll catch you!

Dat's it!
Aah!

Oh no, joey!
Are you all right!

Magnum: hey.

Here,
take my hand, mai.

You're safe now.

Get lost!

You don't even do

Your own stunts,
you coward!!

So does this mean
our wedding plans
are off, dear?

You're nothing
but a cheap hollywood
phony, jean claude.

The only real
action hero

Around here's
right there...resting.

Ohh. Ohh.

I'm a fraud...

It's the truth.

Hey, joey! Mai!

You're
the best, joey.

But you coulda married
a movie star.

If I did that
I wouldn't be able

To kick your butt
in the finals
would i?

Plus if ya eva
did get married,

You'd drive
your husband crazy!

Ohh!
Aah!

Are you gonna be
alright, joey?

[Grunting]

Of course,
I've never been better...

Now let's get
inside dat stadium

And do what we all
came here to do!

Yeah!

Yugi: the battle city
finals start tonight!

Joey:
may da best man win!

Mai: you mean woman!

[Music]