01x09 - Holiday in the Hills

[bunniefuu]

[Man]
Ten years ago, a crack commando unit
was sent to prison by a military court...

for a crime they didn"t commit.

These men promptly escaped
from a maximum-security stockade
to the Los Angeles underground.

Today, still wanted by the government,
they survive as soldiers of fortune.

If you have a problem, if no one else
can help, and if you can find them...

maybe you can hire... the A-Team.

What are we doin' here?

What are we waitin' for?

Patience, B.A.

Face, hold still.

Boy, these mosquitoes
are K*llers.

- You get him?
- Yeah.

- Look at the size of that sucker.
- Unbelievable!

[Plane Engine Droning]

- Uh, do you know the words to...
- What?

[Both] # You are my sunshine
my only sunshine #

[Harmonizing] # You make me happy
when skies are grey ##

Shut up! What's that noise?

- Sounds like a jeep.
- Sounds like a supercharged jeep.

Sounds like an aeroplane to me.

Uh, well, it's probably
the guerillas' aeroplane.

If that"s Murdock, l"m not gettin"
in the air with that crazy sucker.

B.A., you really, really have to
lighten up on this paranoia
you have about flying.

Hold still, B.A.

Got him! That's a monster!
Look at that.

Mmm!
[Clicks Tongue]

- Thanks, Hannibal.
- It's okay, pal.

Right.

[Horn Honking]

- Why does he always fall on the horn?
- Beats me.

Shall we?

I love to crash parties.

[Coughing]

Is he down yet?

Almost.

That-a-boy, Murdock!

[Voice Echoing On Speaker]
Ladies and gentlemen...

the captain has just turned on the
"no smoking" and "fasten your seat belt"
sign for taxiing and take-off.

Please make sure that your seats are
in the upright and forward position...

and that your table trays
are secured in front of you.

Please sit back
and enjoy your flight.

Let's go, Murdock!

[Yelling]

Ya-hoo!

Yah-yah-yah-yah-yah-yah-yah!

[Chuckling]

Speak of the devil.
This is Amy Allen.

Hi. I'm Mitchell Barnes,
U.P.I.

Mitch just got back
from covering the crisis in Lebanon.

He'll be in L.A.
for a couple of days...

and, uh, he wanted to meet
the person who filed the story
on the Jamestown incident.

Excellent,
excellent example...

- of infield journalistic
investigative technique.
- Of what?

Reminded me a lot of that story
I filed from Belgrade in '71.
You happen to read that?

Ran in Time, Newsweek, Life.

I might have. I was a sophomore
in high school at the time.

I'd love to compare
battle notes with you.

- What do you say we grab a bite
to eat before we hit the Law Spa?
- The what?

The Law Spa. That's what we wiremen
call the courtrooms. Kind of catchy, huh?

Mitch wants to sit in on
the Caldwell m*rder trial.
You're covering that, aren't you?

Well, yeah, but the trial
was moved back until 4.00.

- Actually, I can"t this afternoon.
- You"ve got nothing to say about it.
It"s settled.

- Mitch, talk to you later. Okay?
- Do you have a phone I could use?

- Uh, yeah, on that desk
right over there.
- Oh, thanks.

[Beeps]

This is Captain Stewart.
Go.

I've hooked up with the skirt.
We're comin' out.

- You guys are really gonna
owe me one for this.
- Barnes, we've played ball before.

Personally, I think it's a long shot,
but Lynch seems to think this Amy Allen
might be working with the A-Team.

- She hired 'em once.
- Maybe he's right.

If I were working on a story like
the A-Team, I wouldn't give it up either.
Bet your captain's bars on it.

You've got the tailing device, so stick
with her. We'll be about a block back.

- Time's a-wasting.
- Okay.

[Hannibal]
Face, I can"t believe it.

That was the sloppiest, most
unprofessional job I've ever seen you do.

I did the best I could. I got you through
Customs and over to the church, didn't I?

- But why wasn't the bridge dynamited?
- Ah, well...

Now, look, kid.
I like a little sh**t-'em-up now and then.
It keeps the adrenaline going.

But it was not part of my plan
to be chased...

by the Guatemalan army
to the airport.

Oh, the archbishop's
gonna be real happy.

We got him his money back.

That"ll teach the government
to try and throw the clergy
out of the country...

and then steal
their building-fund money.

Yeah. You do have a point there.

I like working for the church
now and then.

Insurance
against Judgement Day.

[Engine Chugging]

Knock it off, you guys!

Uh...

are you having a problem,
Murdock?

Well, it's hard to tell with these.

With these?
What do you mean, "with these"?

- Where" d you get this plane, Face?
- Face didn't scam it. I did.

- What?
- Well, I-I had to con
the passport people.

Okay. Murdock,
where did you get this bird?

I clipped it off
of the rental plane repair line.

It would be ridiculous for me
to assume that it'd been fixed.

Of course it wasn't fixed.
They start to miss 'em
once they've been fixed.

- You gotta get 'em before they're fixed.
- Of course.

Uh, Murdock?
What's gonna happen?

- Looks like we're gonna crash.
- No, come on, really.
What's gonna happen?

- It looks like we're gonna crash and die.
- I'll get the parachute.

Four thousand feet
and dropping.

This thing's got the glide
characteristics of a free-falling safe.

- Where are we, Murdock?
- I don't know.
Somewhere in South Carolina.

Uh, I think.
I've been dead reckoning it.

This funny little thing
that points and spins ain"t workin'.

There's just one parachute.
I'll jump and go for help.

Too low, too late to jump.

- He got this plane off a repair line?
- Okay!

Find a comfy little spot
and hold on!

[Murdock On P.A.]
Ladies and gentlemen,
that concludes your flight.

Thank you for flying Miracle Airlines,
the only airline where Lady Luck
is your co-pilot.

[Chuckles Quietly]

Easy for you to laugh.

We're probably the only guys
to survive an aeroplane crash...

only to be k*lled minutes later
by an irate passenger.

[Murdock] Another satisfied customer.
See, he"s not complaining.

- Here we go. One, two, three!
- Two, three!

Oh!
I got him, I got him, I got him.

[Hannibal]
Hang on to him a second.

- Anybody know
how much this man weighs?
- God, man! He's heavy!

- I ain't knockin' him out no more.
- This is the last time I'm carrying him.

You think it's easy on this end?
I got 200 pounds of gold
pullin' me down.

Maybe it would help
if we took the jewellery off.

No. Can't. I think he's got it
hooked up to a burglar alarm.

[Snoring, Moans]

[Grunting] Put me down!
Put me down! Put me down!

Put me down!
Put me down.

Face, check the rear,
see if we lost those guerrillas.

Lost them? Where are we?

They've been following us
for two hours.

It's all clear... for now, Colonel...

but those guerrillas are tricky.

- They could be flanking us
up on that ridge there.
- Sergeant, how're you feeling?

Boy, that concussion grenade...

almost put your lights out
for good, man.

Concussion? Grenade?

All I remember is
being bit by a mosquito.

- Where did you come from?
- When I get that figured out,
I can drop out of analysis.

- Face, take the point.
- Anybody want to switch?

Face!

B.A., take the rear.
Murdock, follow me.

This don't look like
Guatemala to me!

Well, it ain't South Carolina.

- Pine trees?
- South American Chi-Chi trees,
but they're related.

[Man]
We decide how much we pay you.

Let me tell you something, mister.
We got a code among us.

We got no time for folks
who don't respect our rules.

- Ain't that right, boys?
- Right. We got a code.

It's all agreed, now.

- Fire him up, boys!
- [Men] Yeah! Yeah!

Are they doing
what I think they're doing?

Are they burning that guy
at the stake?

Since we don"t know what"s going on,
let"s run these guys off.

Besides...
Baby's a little low on a*mo.

B.A.,
take the right flank.

Face, take the left.

Murdock...

cover the rear.

What are you fellas doin'?
You havin' a cookout?

k*ll him!

Return fire!

[g*n Clicking]

[Clicking]

Get out of here
or you're all dead!

Let's get out of here!

- B.A., you all right?
- Yeah, I'm okay!

- Murdock?
- Yeah. I'm okay!

Face?

Face!

[Murdock] His position"s been overrun.
Those men are after him.

Okay.
Let's get this guy down.

- Give me a hand, Murdock. B.A.
- Okay.

- You got him?
- Yeah.

- a*mo report.
- I'm out.

- l"ve got five rounds left in my.45.
- I got three rounds left in my.45.
My r*fle's empty.

Okay, let's get back
to the plane.

- Plane? What plane?
- Sergeant, grab Baby.

Bring up the rear.

Stay in tight, Murdock,
on the point.

- Hello.
- Get up.

[Sighs, Groans]

Well, I, uh...
I guess you caught me.

[Grunts]

We ain't restin' until every one of'em
trespassers are caught and punished.

Every one of'em.

Murdock,
give me a hand.

See if we can get him
under this tail section here.

[Hannibal Grunts]

We gotta set up a perimeter.

Murdock, get some shrouds off
that parachute. Set up some trip wires.

We ain't in Guatemala
no more.

Them guys back there
was hillbillies.

Murdock crashed the plane,
didn't he?

No! No, no, no, no,
no, no, no, no.

I simply relocated the aircraft
with extreme prejudice...

because of a total loss
of thrust and lift functions!

- You crashed it, sucker!
- Sergeant!

Now, we did put you
aboard this plane.

You were unconscious because
we took a hit on that truck in Guatemala.

Now, Murdock risked his life
and flew in and rescued us.

- I should be given a medal.
- You're both gonna eat medals.
I die before I fly!

Put it on hold, Sergeant!
I'm not gonna stand around and argue.
This man is dying!

I don't like you guys
always lying to me, man.

Now, we don't always
lie to you, B.A.

That isn't fair,
and you know it.

[Panting]
Boy, that was close.

Those Guatemalan hill troops
are real tough customers.

- What's up?
- I'll tell you what's up.

I know you guys lied to me.
I know you put me on an aeroplane.

And I know Murdock crashed it.

B.A. Baracus gonna take that lie
out of each and every one of your hides.

B.A., you got something there.
Murdock.

Better get those trip wires out,
and don"t forget the last belt
for the M-60.

Those guys could be on us
any minute.

This plane sticks out
like a fly on a wedding cake.

B.A., you better watch
our back trail.

I wonder what they got
against this guy.

"James McDonald...

age 54."

- He"s got three kids.
- This guy works for the county.

Here's a surveyor's map.
They're gonna put a highway in up here.

Murdock, come here.

Can you make any sense
out of this?

Yeah. Yeah.
That's the peak right there.

That"s the one we barely missed
when we came in.

And we almost hit that summit
right there.

[Sighs]
We're surrounded by mountains.

Okay, we can climb over 'em
and leave him here...

or we can stay here
and try and keep him alive.

- We never left any wounded
back in 'Nam, Colonel.
- That's right.

Okay.

We stay.

Uh, Hannibal, how are we
gonna get this guy outta here?

They show movies at the hospital
every Thursday night.

We get old ones mostly, but some...
some are all right, you know?

Look, Murdock!
I'm on a real short leash here,
and I'm getting tired of your crazy rap!

Flight of the Phoenix.
Last Thursday night they showed
Flight of the Phoenix.

These guys crash in the desert,
and they fix their aircraft
by redesigning it.

Will you let go of my arm
before I get gangrene! Man!

I could design an ultralight.

It's like a hang glider
with a motor.

Seats two. I could fly out of here
with our patient. You guys could take off.

- A motor?
- Yeah.

- How long would it take?
- Depends on how long it takes
to get what I need.

- With wings?
- Flap, flap.

Just like 'Nam.

And "Nam was no picnic,
believe me.

There I was, perched between
the U.S. bunkers and Charlie.

There were weapons and b*ll*ts
everywhere.

I know what you're saying.
"This guy is crazy."

But my answer to that is,
if you're gonna cover a w*r,
you cover a w*r.

I would've stayed to the bitter end,
but my boss wanted me
to cover the Middle East.

But I guarantee you, by then I saw
more action than 90 percent of the G.I.s.

- Really?
- By the way, who are
these friends you're meeting?

- Oh, nobody newsworthy.
- Hmm.

So that's how I came to be
in the Middle East for the Six-Day w*r.

Six days?
I made it a full week.

I knew every tollbooth
from Kangnung to the 40th parallel.

And they weren't taking tokens,
believe me.

I mean, your life wasn't worth a dime
out there. We're talkin' survival here.

You gotta know,
the regular troops figured that
if my porch light wasn't out...

it was at least blinking.

But I knew the stories were hidden
in that jungle, and I had to find 'em.

- Is that so?
- [Car Door Alarm Dinging]

Is this where we're
picking up your friends?

Guess they're not on time.

- What was their E.T.A.?
- Around now.

Huh. Gee, it doesn't even look
like there's anybody here to ask.

Well, let's wait a while. I mean,
they're always a little bit late anyway.

Maybe they got into
some trouble.

[Grunting]

Hey, Face. Come here.

"Two 10-inch wheels.

- A 10, uh..." What?
- Horsie power.

"Horsie power engine.
Three bolts of industrial silk."

- Are you nuts?
- Absolutely and totally.

How am I gonna get all this stuff
in the middle of nowhere?

- You always say you can get
anything, anywhere, anytime,
- Yeah, but...

Think of it as a challenge.
How did you get that '53 Cadillac
in the jungles of'Nam?

How did you get that '53
Cadillac in the jungles of'Nam?

Professional secret.

Of course,
he was a lot younger then.

Industrial silk.

The guy
is absolutely incredible.

- Come on, mudsucker.
Get up and get going.
- Sucker...

B.A., get a blanket and cover this guy.
His temperature's really droppin' fast.

Okay, Murdock.

I'm gonna take our little
country cousins on a decoy operation...

lead 'em away from here
as far as I can...

buy some time.

They're used to
huntin' rabbits.

Let's see how they do
with a wolf that bites back.

You see, I have what you call
your nose for news.

That"s why I was there when Big Daddy
Amin pulled off his coup in Uganda.

- I was there when the shah
took his hike from Iran.
- No need to wait here any longer.

[Chuckling] Don't think I was just
looking for a spa in Czechoslovakia...

when the big red machine
came over the border.

Oh, no, no, no, no, no.

[g*nsh*t]

Hold it!

Why, you're a priest!

[Chuckles]
I'm sorry...

but I can"t keep from laughing
whenever I hear that term applied to me.

- You ain't a priest?
- Ah, I don't know what I am.

Why does life have to be so hard
for some of us?

All my life,
I-I've dedicated myself to the Lord...

only to wake up one morning
and discover I have no inner peace...

no tranquillity in my soul...

no... no faith.

Mister, are you all right?
Maybe you oughta sit down.

You're such a sweet soul.

So innocent and... pretty.

Just like... Mary Ann.

- Mary Ann?
- Mmm.

- My name's Louanne.
- Really?

You know, l"ve always been
kind of fascinated with priests...

because they aren't allowed...

I mean, they don't...

Ah, but sometimes... they do.

Oh, no! You and Mary Ann?

Sometimes the runner stumbles.

Oh, Father, I'm truly sorry.

What can I do to help?

Well... would you happen
to have a gasoline engine?

Gasoline engine?

You know, for my power
lawn mower.

You want a power lawn mower?

Well, yes. You see, I feel that if I could
put my garden in order once again...

then it would be akin to putting
my internal house in order...

and I'd have a chance
at another beginning.

Hmm, we don't have
a lawn mower...

- but we do have a power seeding machine.
- Perfect.

This is the seeding machine.
We're not gonna need it till next month.

It's, uh, just what I had in mind.

Actually, all I need to borrow
is the, uh, engine and the wheels.

How you gonna do your plantin'
if you don't take the whole thing?

Oh! Oh, I forgot to tell you.

I have a seeder.
See, I just lack parts.

It would be very selfish to borrow
what I don't really need.

- Waste not, want not.
- Whatever you say.

I know it sounds silly, but,
Louanne, you must... you must understand.

I am a lost sheep...

and you... you've helped me
to find my way.

You can't put the rudder on
before the elevator.

- [B.A.] Man, ain"t nothin" I can"t do.
- Look, I'm the supervisor here.

You ain"t nothin" but a nut
that know how to fly.

You know, B.A., this bickering
is so counterproductive.

I think that now we're out here alone,
just you and me, takin' on the elements,
trying to survive...

- that this would be a good time to...
- [Bird Call]

It's Hannibal.
It's okay, muchacho.

[B.A.]
What took you so long?

I bought us some time,
like I said I would.

This thing is supposed to fly?

I've got no fear. I'll go up
in anything except an elevator.

Where are they?

I left 'em in a canyon
up east of here.

There's more than we thought...
about 20 of them.

B.A., you know those flares
we got aboard the plane?

You think you could put those together
with a... maybe a pipe from
the hydraulic system on the brakes...

and get us some firepower?

Right, right.
No problem, Colonel.

B.A., there's an old saying...
"The best defence is a good offence."

You got that wrong, man.

A good offence
is the best defence.

Okay. Have it your way.

Thanks. Thanks.

- What now?
- I have somebody I have to look in on.

Okay.
Where are we going?

I'll let it be a surprise.

So this is an insane asylum.

I always wanted to do an in-depth
on a bin like this.

I visited one once in Germany...
the Freudian Institute.

Met a guy who thought
he was Douglas Fairbanks.

Shell-shocked.
w*r's unmerciful to the mind.

- Mitch, I think I should go in alone.
You know what I mean?
- No sweat. I understand.

It's not easy having complete strangers
watch your loved ones
bounce off the walls.

- Hang tough.
I'll be out here if you need me.
- Thanks.

Murdock.

An answering machine.

[Murdock Screams] Hi, y'all.
Howling Mad here in voice only.

This time my body has split,
along with my mind.

So at the tone, leave your name
and the message, and I'll get back to you
as soon as my shock therapy's over. Bye.

What are you doing inside?
You want her to spot us here together?

Not that it matters much.
I don't think she has anything
to do with this A-Team any more.

- Wrong. Then what is she doing here
checking in with H.M. Murdock?
- It's in her files.

She's remained friendly with him
ever since a while ago when she
tried to contact the A-Team.

Look, she's a good kid.
She just probably feels bad for the guy.

Look, she...

Great!
Now we've lost our bird dog.

Wrong. The tailing device
is still in the car.

And working.

This thing is never gonna work.

[Panting] Hey, you want to
give me a hand here?

Pays to stay fit.

So you found us a wheel
and a motor.

[Loud Grunt]
That's right.

Not a five-horse,
not a seven-and-a-half horse...

but a 10-horse, air-cooled
gasoline motor, as ordered.

[Murdock] Face, I don"t know
how you do it, but you sure do it good.

Well, look, you give me
a job to do, I do it.

I pool my resources, I consider
my options and then I go for it.

Sure, it's not easy.
There are risks, but I take 'em.

- What was her name?
- Louanne.

- [Gasps]
- That preacher was workin'
with them city boys.

- He helped them steal our prisoner.
- No!

He said he was plantin"a garden
and that he needed parts for his seeder.

He said that he was
becomin' a lost sheep.

- All right. We're goin'.
- Where?

To help the reverend find God.

Red Carpet Flight 86
now ready for boarding.

All passengers holding tickets
will now be on board.

You got some structural weakness
in the wing struts...

and they won't hold if you start
any of your aerobatics.

Remember, keep an eye on the silks.
If it starts to shred, take it down.

I didn't know you cared, sweetheart.

Thanks, B.A.

Don't thank me.

Just keep it out of the trees.

Get this bird off the ground.
That guy's sweatin' b*ll*ts.

[Mock German Accent]
I will find civilization, muchacho!

I will bring back reinforcements!
What on earth will you be doing
while I'm gone?

Just guess, Murdock.
Just guess.

[Engine Revving]

♪♪ [Singing In Mock German]

Oops!
## [Continues]

- ## [Continues]
- Beautiful!

That man is crazy.

Yeah, but it's
a good kind of crazy.

Whoo-hoo!
We are flying!

- # Someday the birds will come to me #
- [Ripping]

♪ Someday the birds
will say I'm free ♪

♪ Someday the birds
will sing my song ♪

♪ Someday the birds
will come along ♪♪

♪♪ [Singing In Mock German]

You're gonna be okay, Pop.

We're gonna get you there
in no time.

- [Silk Ripping]
- Uh, hang on, Lucy. I'm comin' around.

I know you're only pretending
to have your eyes shut!

But it doesn't matter anyway
'cause it's gonna be a rough landing.

Keep your arms in
and don't put your feet over the side.

I think I see the landing strip.

[Engine Droning]

There it is!

I think we"re gonna come in safely.

Just hold your breath, Pop.
We're on our way down.

And with a...
[Mock German]

we are gonna manipulate this son of a g*n
into the correct position.

Tighten your seat belts!
Secure your trays!

Blah, blah, blah!
I am coming down!

Oops!
Pay no attention to that rip!

Air goes through that
like water through my nose!

We are just 20 feet, Pop!
Twenty feet!

And we have... landed!

Whoo! Phew.

Help me! Help me! I got a sick man here!
I gotta get him to the hospital!

There's a hospital about a mile and a half
down the road in Fulton.

Best way is to put him in my
four-wheel drive and take him on down.

What the heck happened
to him anyway?

You've got some guys with white eyeballs
living on the other side of that ridge!

I've seen some crazy guys
in my time.

I've been in a whole ward full of them,
but I've never seen anybody like those.

- They did that to him?
- Well, it wasn't a grey,
furry squirrel with a shotgun!

Now get! Get!
Before he croaks!

- I'm on my way.
- [Tyres Squealing]

[Mock English Accent]
By the way...

would you mind awfully
if I borrowed your shiny little chopper?

[American Accent]
Absolutely not! No problem, pal.

[English Accent]
Well, that's very kind of you.
I'll certainly take good care of it.

You Americans certainly know
how to take care of your friends
from across the sea.

[American Accent]
Have you had dinner yet, by the way, pal?
Maybe we could get together...

All right.
Now we know where they is.

There's that plane crashed up yonder
in the holler...

the one Zeb saw from the hills.

We're gonna spread out
and come in on 'em from all sides.

There he is!
Let"s get him!

Get him! k*ll him!
Get to the cars.

[Hannibal]
Now, Face!

[Men Shouting]

[Hannibal]
Now, B.A.!

I've had enough of this.
Let's get out of here.

Ain't nobody around here.

We'll just close off this valley.
We'll find them sooner or later.

[Helicopter Blades Whirring]

Whaa!

Drop 'em!

Do it now!

Or the next one
won"t be over your heads!

Everybody in the aeroplane!

Now, close that door!

Anybody sticks their head out...

Ioses everything!

- How come you put 'em in there?
- Because I'm out of ammunition.

[Murdock] The guy they tried to k*ll
is with the road department.

We'll hold these fellas down
till you can come out and arrest them.

Don't you love it? They're in there
worried we're gonna k*ll 'em.

And we're out here with no a*mo.

Hannibal, sometimes I think
you're crazier than Murdock.

[Laughs]
Sometimes I am.

All right, that must be it.

Come on. Let's go. Inside.
Come on!

[Man On P.A.] Will Colonel Lynch please
check at the reservation desk, please?

- Colonel Lynch, please check
at the reservation desk.
- M.P.s.

[Driver] Hey, man. In or out.
I gotta take this bus in to be cleaned.

Amy must have paged Lynch
to warn us. Good girl.

I wonder how long
they been following her.

Well, if it was since this morning
and if we'd been on schedule...

we'd have landed right
in Lynch's military lap.

- That means we're
pretty lucky we crashed!
- Ohh!

I love it when a plan
comes together.