05x14 - Parents Have Rights, Too

[bunniefuu]

♪ Now the world don't move

♪ To the beat of just one drum

♪ What might be right for you

♪ May not be right for some

♪ A man is born

♪ He's a man of means

♪ Then along come two

♪ They got nothing
but their jeans

♪ But they got Diff'rent Strokes

♪ It takes Diff'rent Strokes

♪ It takes Diff'rent
Strokes to move the world

♪ Everybody's got
a special kind of story

♪ Everybody finds a way to shine

♪ It don't matter that
you got not a lot so what

♪ They'll have theirs
and you'll have yours

♪ And I'll have mine

♪ And together we'll be fine

♪ 'Cause it takes Diff'rent
Strokes to move the world

♪ Yes it does

♪ It takes Diff'rent
Strokes to move the world.

- Alright now, backpacks.

- Check.

- Flashlights.

- Check.

- Pup tents.

- Check.

- Sleeping bags.

- Check.

- Hair dryer.

- Check.

- Hair dryer?

Kimberly, we're going
on a camping trip.

- It's not mind,
daddy, it's Willis's.

- You never know, I might run
into some cute little campers.

- You'd better just
hope that one of them

has a very long extension cord.

- Here's the first aid
kit, Mr. Drummond.

- Oh, thank you, Pearl.

I hope that none of
us have need for that.

- I'm really looking
forward to this.

I love the great outdoors.

In fact, my Girl Scout troop
voted me Miss Tough Cookie.

- Look who's here,
Grizzly Arnold.

- Get ready for a
surprise everybody.

In honor of this weekend, I
have dipped into my savings

and bought everybody
a little present for the trip.

- That's very nice, Arnold.

- What is it?

- I'll show you.

Okay, yeah.

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Well, how do you like it?

I named her the SS Arnold.

- That was really dumb, Arnold.

- Why?

The man at the surplus store

said I could
inflate it anywhere.

- Arnold, he meant
anywhere outdoors.

And while you were at that store

you should've
bought a surplus brain.

- Now Arnold, I want
you to deflate this thing

and repack it.

But anyway, thanks for
your contribution to the trip.

That was really very generous.

Wasn't it, g*ng?

- Yes, thank you, Arnold.

- This beautiful
raft is going to be

especially useful
where we're going

since there are no lakes,
rivers or ponds in the area.

- Run that by me again.

- I'm afraid there
aren't any, Arnold.

- Oh well, maybe I
could fill it with water

and make it a hot
tub for chipmunks.

- Let's straighten
this thing up.

- I'll get it.

- Good evening, Mr. Drummond.

- Oh, Miss Saunders,
what a surprise.

Oh, come in.

- Thanks.

- Is something wrong?

- No, your tax
audit was moved up

and I need you to sign
some papers before Monday.

You were right on my way home.

- Tell me something, how
much does a lawyer charge

for a house call?

- Not as much as a plumber.

- I want you to meet my family.

- I hope I'm not disturbing you.

- No, no, no, not at all.

I don't want to have
the IRS after me.

- What do the Irish
t*rrorists have to do with it?

- Arnold, the Irish
t*rrorists is the IRA.

The IRS is the
American t*rrorists.

- This is my daughter, Kimberly.

- Hi.

- These are my sons,
Willis and Arnold.

- Hi, how're you?

- This is Robin Saunders,
one of my tax attorneys.

- I'm so glad to meet you kids.

Your father talks
about you all the time.

- Yeah, we're his
favorite deductions.

- Is that a new
toy for the bathtub?

- Yeah, I outgrew
my little rubber ducky.

Could I get you a cup
of coffee or a drink?

- No thanks, I
really have to run.

But I have Xs where
I need your signature.

- Okay, I'll do it.

- Lawyers sure
are getting prettier.

- Yeah.

- Cool down, Willis.

Your hot breath
is singeing my hat.

- There you are.

- Thanks.

- I'll go with you
to the elevator.

I have a couple of questions

I would like to ask
you about that audit.

- Bye, nice to meet you.

I hope I see you again.

Goodbye, nice to meet you.

- I'll be back in
a minute, kids.

Okay.

- You're not only
cheaper than my plumber,

you're a better kisser.

- That's funny.

My plumber's a terrific kisser.

You said you were gonna
call me this afternoon.

- I'm sorry.

I was out buying
sporting equipment.

By the way, what was
that I just signed in there?

Am I really in for a tax audit?

- Yes.

- Oh no.

Couldn't that bad news
have waited until Monday?

- Yes, but I couldn't.

Phil, when are we going to
have some real time together?

- Soon, soon, very
soon, I promise.

- Well, you say
that all the time,

but then you get free time

and you spend it with your kids.

- Well, I know, but they
like to have me around.

- So do I.

And by the way, why am I
still being kept under wraps?

It's nice to be in
the closet with you,

but eventually
we've gotta come out.

- Well, frankly, I
don't know why

I haven't told the
kids about you.

I think Willis and
Kimberly would understand,

but it's kind of hard to explain

things like that to Arnold.

And if I told them
I was dating you

they'd ask me questions like,

how much do you like her?

Are you gonna get married?

- Two very logical questions.

I just wish we could
have some together.

Real time, you
know, just you and me

for more than an evening.

- Oh, so do I.

I would love that.

- How about this weekend?

- Gee, I can't.

I'm going on a camping
trip with the kids.

- Oh Phil, I know you
want to be a good father,

but parents have rights, too.

And you're also a man.

- Gee, I'm glad
you noticed that.

- Look, how about getting
together next weekend?

- Oh yeah, fine, let's do it.

Oh no, I promised to take
the kids to a hockey game.

- Sure, great, you
go to a hockey game

and you keep me on ice.

Phil, I'm really tired
of playing games.

- Alright, you got it.

We're gonna spend
this weekend together.

- Do you really mean it?

- I really do.

- Oh, wonderful.

Oh, how about the camping trip?

What are you going to
tell the kids about that?

- Well, I guess I'll just
go back in there and lie

about the audit and tell
them I'm in big trouble

with the government.

- You won't be lying.

- Pearl, have you seen
my heavy down jacket?

I want to take it camping
with me tomorrow.

- Oh, it's right here in
the guest closet, Willis.

What do you suppose he's up to?

- I don't know.

With Arnold anything's possible.

- Looks like he's practicing
sleeping outdoors.

- Let's give him the real
taste of the great outdoors.

- No, no, you're
liable to scare him.

- That's the whole point.

I'm going to scare him, shh.

- Okay, now you've got
everything, right g*ng?

I'm sorry I can't go with you,

but this audit is very
important, you know.

Anyway, you're in
good hands with Pearl.

- That's right,
you're looking at

the queen of the wilderness.

I can pitch a tent,
start a fire with sticks

and there's not a squirrel alive

I can't wrestle to the ground.

- Now look, promise
me you'll be careful.

At night zip those sleeping
bags right up to the top.

Use your insect repellent.

Look out for poison
ivy and skunks.

- Don't worry, dad.

If I run into a skunk,
he'll see my behind

before I see his.

- That's it, g*ng.

Company, move out.

- Bye bye, daddy.

Have a nice weekend.

- Listen, have a wonderful time.

- Oh, we will.

There's nothing like
getting back to nature

and roughing it.

- Yeah, let's go, the
chauffeur's waiting.

- I'll see you all Sunday night.

Hello, Robin.

I'm sorry to call you
so early in the morning,

but listen, I did it.

We're all set.

The whole family is gone.

We have the entire
weekend to ourselves.

Just you and me, heaven.

It's Phil, Phil Drummond.

- I had a wonderful
time tonight.

- So did I.

- It's very nice having
you as a c*ptive audience.

- Oh, but you are the one
that's c*ptive, my dear.

This is the part
where I ply you with

very expensive French Champagne

which I very cleverly
pre-chilled for the occasion.

- I think you taught Cary
Grant everything he knows.

- Of course.

Who do you think was
the technical advisor

for all those love scenes?

Moi.

Why don't we have our
bubbly out on the terrace?

- Perfect.

- Right this way.

- Oh Phil, what
a lovely terrace.

- You like it?

I'll have it sent
over in the morning.

- Isn't it a beautiful view?

- Beautiful, the
city's not bad, either.

- Oh Phil, this is heaven.

- Robin, you are
absolutely irresistible.

- Wow, what a kiss.

- I know, I felt the earth move.

- I think we better move.

It's starting to sprinkle.

- I know.

- I'm glad it
started to drizzle.

It's a good excuse to snuggle.

- I don't need an excuse.

- Do you have a fireplace?

- No, but we can
set fire to the bureau.

Come on.

Oh, one moment, please.

Just a little something you
can sip from your slipper.

Don't mention this to the kids.

- Ah, at last.

Home, dry home.

- Wow, I've never seen
anything like that before in my life.

That camping ground turned
to a lake in five minutes.

- Now I know why they
call them flash floods.

In a flash you're up to
your armpits in water.

- It's even worse for me.

I end off where
your armpits begin.

Boy, if we didn't have
my trusty inflatable raft,

we might have all
gone to a watery grave.

- Don't overdramatize
it, Arnold.

We didn't need your raft.

- We might have if
the dam had broken.

- What dam?

There's no dam up there.

- There will be when he
gets to school on Monday

and tells the story.

- Okay kids, let's get
out of these wet clothes

and off to bed.

- Goodnight, Pearl.

- Goodnight.

See you in the morning, Pearl.

- You know, daddy's
really lucky he didn't go.

- You think we
should wake him up

and tell him what happened?

- Oh no, it's so late.

Let's just let him sleep.

In the morning, we
can surprise him.

- Is Arnold coming down?

- In a minute.

He's on the phone telling
Dudley about the big flood.

How the dam broke
and he used his raft

to save us from the
hundred foot waves.

- How about your father?

He's sleeping kinda late
this morning, isn't he?

- He probably had a late meeting

with his tax attorney.

- Well, he won't be
sleeping for long.

Arnold said as soon
as he gets off the phone,

he's going to jump in
dad's bed and surprise him.

♪ I love New York in June

♪ How 'bout you

♪ I, aye, aye aye

- Morning Mr. Drummond.

- Hi, daddy.

- Hi, hi, hi, hi.

What are you doing home?

- We got flooded out so
we came home last night.

- Last night?

You were here last night?

- Yeah, we got here
about two in the morning.

- I see.

Well, isn't that something.

- Hi.

- Hi.

- Aren't you, Miss Saunders?

- That's right.

- My dad's tax attorney?

- That's right.

- Is this part of his tax audit?

- That's right.

- Oh, you know something?

- What?

- You look real different
without your glasses.

- Maybe I do.

I think I better
go put a robe on.

- Why, you look okay to me.

- Well, thanks, but
I feel a little chilly.

- Really, I feel kinda warm.

- Well, nice chatting with you.

- Same here.

I got a strange feeling
something's going on here.

- Then we packed up
and got out of there.

- Don't you want to sit down

and have some
breakfast, Mr. Drummond?

- Nope, not hungry.

Where's Arnold?

- Didn't you see him?

He said he was going to
your room to wake you up.

- What?

Arnold, I was just
coming to get you.

Arnold, I would
like to talk to you.

- I'd like to talk to you, too.

- Have you been in my room?

- No.

- Good.

I mean, I forgot
something in there.

- I know.

It just went back in.

It was wearing a blue nightgown.

- Oh no.

- Oh yeah.

- Arnold, I guess I have
a little explaining to do.

- It's kinda turning
out that way.

- You know, daddy's sure
acting strange, isn't he?

- Yeah, I wonder what
could've made him

run out of here like that?

- I hope it's not what I think.

- Hey everybody, dad's got
some big explaining to do.

- I don't know how big it is.

- It's about five foot seven.

- It's exactly what I think.

- Well, as I was
telling Arnold upstairs,

I, uh,

see, guys, we have
a little situation here.

- What kind of situation, daddy?

- Well, uh, Pearl, I'll
have a cup of coffee.

- I'm sure you can use some.

- See, I thought that I
had this place to myself

for the weekend
so I invited a guest.

- Who?

- It's not Tootsie.

- As a matter of
fact, you've met her.

It's my tax lawyer,
Robin Saunders.

Now I know this is a
little awkward for all of us,

but I hope you'll understand.

- I understand.

- I understand.

- God knows I understand.

- Well, I'm not
sure I understand.

For one thing, why did
she stay here last night?

- Well, it was awfully
late, that's why.

- And where did she
get the nightgown?

- Oh, she borrowed that
nightgown from Pearl.

- From me?

- Yes, from you, Pearl.

I hope that's alright?

- Oh, I didn't even
know it was gone.

- Dad, I may be young and naive,

but I'm not stupid.

- Arnold, why don't
you just drop it?

I'll explain it
to you all later.

- No, no, no, Willis.

I think this should
come from me.

This is a conversation that I
have postponed for too long.

- Willis and Kimberly, I
need some help in the kitchen.

- Later Pearl.

I want to see how
dad gets out of this.

- Willis.

- I'm coming, I'm coming.

- Now, Arnold, there
are a number of things

that I want to say to you

and I'm sure that you
have some questions for me.

- You go first.

You've got seniority.

- Okay.

You remember a little while back

we had a discussion
about the facts of life?

- Yeah, I remember all of that.

All that giggling
and embarrassment.

You were really shook up.

- Yeah, well, I think
we covered the birds

and the bees pretty well.

But I'm afraid I may
have neglected to tell you

some things about men and women.

- Oh, I've learned
a lot about that stuff

since then, dad.

- How much?

- Enough to want to know
what that lady's doing upstairs.

- Yeah.

Well, what we're
talking about here

is dating and relationships
between men and women.

- You mean getting it on.

- Yeah, I guess you
could put it that way.

In fact, you did
put it that way.

- Dad, I know what
goes on with grown ups,

but that's other people.

I just never thought
it would be you

and anybody else that way.

Especially a tax attorney.

- Well, Arnold, Miss
Saunders is a woman

and I'm a man and
sometimes grown ups

need to be alone
with each other.

- Oh, I see.

Is that why you cancelled
out going on our camping trip?

- Yes, it is, Arnold
and I realize now

I should have leveled with you.

- I guess that means you'd
rather be with her than us.

- Not at all.

I love being with both of you.

Sometimes with her,
sometimes with you.

And when I'm with
her, it doesn't mean

that I love you any the less.

In fact, when my life is
enriched by other people

that I care about,
then I'm happier

and I love you all the more.

You understand?

- I think so, dad.

- Good, I'm glad you do.

- Dad?

- Yeah.

- Do you feel enriched enough
to marry Miss Saunders?

- Marry her?

Well, that's pretty enriched.

Arnold, we really don't know
how this is going to turn out.

- Well, you must
love her, don't you?

- Well, yes I do.

But you see, son, there
are different kinds of love.

Sometimes people
have a deep affection

and respect for each other,

but that doesn't necessarily
mean that they'll marry.

Sometimes they
stay good friends.

On the other hand, if
a relationship continues

to grow and deepen,
people do indeed get married.

At this point, I
really don't know

where Miss Saunders
and I are going.

- Well, at least you're having
a good time getting there.

- I think that's fair to say.

- Well, thanks
for the talk, dad.

We covered quite a
bit of ground, didn't we?

- We certainly did.

- Kimberly, Willis!

Come out, I know as
much as dad does now.

- Great, Arnold.

If we have any questions
we'll come to you from now on.

- Well, I better go and
get Miss Saunders.

She's probably
hiding under the bed.

- No she's not.

Phil, I hope I haven't
caused you any problem here.

Nice running into you again.

- I saw her without
her glasses on.

- I'll be going.

Phil, call me.

- Oh, no, no, wait
a minute, Robin.

You don't have to go anywhere.

I've just had a long
discussion with my family.

Everything's out in the open.

Everybody understands.

You and I started to spend
this weekend together.

I think we should
finish it together.

- That's right.

We got rained out, not you.

- The house is all yours.

- Are you sure you don't mind?

- We understand.

We're all adults here.

- Phil, are we
taking them up on it?

- You bet we are.

- Okay guys, let's get lost.

- Wait a minute.

Can't we get lost
after breakfast?

I mean, these
heavy, emotional trips

are hard to take on
an empty stomach.

- That's a great idea.

Let's all have
breakfast together.

- Oh, I'd love that.

- I'll tell Pearl.

- Thanks, Kimberly.

And I have got a
terrific suggestion

for this afternoon and
it's a treat that's on me.

First a really good horror
movie with lots of popcorn.

Then video games at the arcade.

And then dinner
at the pizza parlor.

- Hey, we'd love that.

- Not you, us.

♪ Now the world don't move

♪ To the beat of just one drum

♪ What might be right for you

♪ May not be right for some

♪ A man is born

♪ He's a man of means

♪ Then along come two

♪ They got nothing
but their jeans

♪ But they got Diff'rent Strokes

♪ It takes Diff'rent Strokes

♪ It takes Diff'rent
Strokes to move the world

♪ Yes it does

♪ It takes Diff'rent
Strokes to move the world