05x25 - Everybody Loves Pajamas

[bunniefuu]

N: Greetings.

N: The fall days are very comfortable.

N: How is your health?

N: I am doing well.

N: Recently, there's been a change in my life.

N: I have a new roommate in my cell.

N: I'm not sure if he's pure evil or just a fool.

N: One thing's for sure.

N: He's the reason I'm able to continue writing letters to you.

N: It won't be long before we are able to meet.

N: I hope to tell you much about my roommate, my friend.

N: I eagerly anticipate the day.

N: Sincerely yours.

Everybody Loves Pajamas

A: Hey, Gramps.

A: Where's your partner?

N: Oh, he went to the restroom.

A: What? I told you to always get permission and

: accompany him to the restroom.

N: Sorry, he's taking a dump, so I figured I shouldn't tag along.

A: Oh, it's okay.

A: Shachi needed to take a dump, so he tagged along.

A: That's not the issue here.

N: Oh, now I need to take a dump.

N: Will you come with me, guard?

A: Why?!

Shachi: Bro, if they find us,

they won't even bother sending us to the disciplinary room.

Gin: That's right.

Gin: I want to go to the warden's room,

not the disciplinary room, Shake-kun.

Shachi: It's Shachi.

Gin: We're going to find proof that he's breaking the law.

Gin: Weren't you his pawn?

Gin: Show me the way, Hamachi-kun.

Shachi: It's Shachi!

Shachi: It's impossible!

Shachi: Do you realize how many locked doors we have to go through?!

B: Yes, this is Kamiya.

B: What?! What are you doing, you idiot?!

Shachi: Damn, did they find out that we ditched our work?

B: You lost the keys?!

B: Were they stolen?!

Shachi: I guess it wasn't us.

Shachi: We need to get back before we're caught.

Gin: Grow a spine.

Gin: They're busy looking for whoever stole the keys.

Gin: They won't care about a couple fellows skipping work.

Gin: Let's go.

Shachi: They're gonna care!

Shachi: Because the person who stole the keys is right here!

Gin: Huh? Where?

Shachi: It's you! Why are you acting surprised?!

Gin: I didn't steal anything.

Gin: I just picked up the keys after someone dropped them.

Gin: And I'm going to give them back.

Shachi: That doesn't make it okay!

Shachi: Bro, you're going all the way this time.

Gin: Yeah, time for revenge, Itachi-kun.

Shachi: That's not even close to my name.

Gin: Okay, let's disguise ourselves so we don't stand out.

Shachi: You're the man, Bro.

Shachi: You must have stolen clothes from the guards.

Gin: Listen up.

Gin: I'm a guard in pajamas.

Gin: You're the prisoner I'm bringing in.

Shachi: Nothing's changed!

Shachi: How are you a guard in pajamas?!

Shachi: The only difference is you're wearing a western style prison uniform

Shachi: instead of an Asian one!

Gin: Don't blame me.

Gin: The guard was working a night shift so he had his pajamas on.

Shachi: Why was the guard wearing pajamas like that?!

Shachi: Hell, you might as well be naked!

Gin: Don't worry.

Gin: If I put on a bandanna and carry a stick...

Gin: See? Don't I look like a guard in pajamas?

Shachi: Don't act like guards in pajamas are a common phenomenon!

Shachi: Nobody's seen one before!

Gin: Then I won't pretend to be a guard.

Gin: I'm a pajama kid with a pillow and I don't believe in ghosts.

Shachi: Why would a pajama kid be walking around with a prisoner?!

Shachi: And who cares if you believe in ghosts?!

Shachi: What's that in your right hand?!

Shachi: What are we supposed to say if they find us?!

C: Hey! What are you guys doing?!

D: Why is a prisoner here with a pajama kid?!

C: What's going on?!

C: Don't move!

Shachi: K-Keep it down!

Shachi: Or this pajama kid is gonna get it!

Gin: H-Help me pajama!

C: I see!

C: He's taken the pajama kid hostage so he can escape!

D: Wait, why is this pajama kid even here?!

Gin: Shut up! Everyone wants to be a pajama kid!

Gin: If you keep talking, these pajamas will be torn apart!

D: Stop! Don't hurt the pajamas!

Shachi: Why are you a bad guy now?!

Shachi: Raise your hands! Outta the way!

Shachi: Clear the path!

Shachi: Listen to me.

Shachi: If you follow me, you know what's gonna happen!

Shachi: These white lines will be completely red!

Gin: About face, then march!

Gin: Then go into the locker room and change into your pajamas!

Gin: Listen to me, if you button them wrong, you know what's gonna happen!

D: G-Got it.

Gin: Go!

E: We're on high alert!

E: Get the prisoners into their cells!

B: Were they really stolen?

F: I-I'm sorry...

B: Apologizing isn't going to help!

B: Where's the warden?

F: Well, he's out right now.

N: They've been found out...

B: Damn, why now?!

C: Come in.

C: This is the warden speaking.

B: The warden?

C: Yes, I wanted everyone to gather in one place.

B: Who are you?!

B: You're not the warden!

C: I'm the warden.

C: But I'm not feeling well,

C: so someone else is doing the talking for me.

A: W-Warden!

C: Welcome to our land, guards.

Warden's Office

Shachi: This is bad, Bro!

Shachi: We need to hurry!

Shachi: Damn! I can't find anything incriminating!

Shachi: Bro!

Gin: I had the kids on the outside do some research.

Gin: I gave them one of the letters the old man's been getting

Gin: and told them to check the address.

Shachi: Why are you bringing this up now, Bro?

Gin: They went to the address to see his son.

Gin: But they didn't find him.

Shachi: He wasn't there?

Gin: No.

Gin: And it wasn't just the wrong address.

Gin: He's no longer in this world.

Shachi: You mean...

Gin: His son died ten years ago.

Gin: Of disease.

Gin: He's been writing letters to someone who will never get them.

Gin: That would explain why he never got any responses.

Gin: But at some point, he began to receive frequent replies.

Gin: From someone who no longer existed...

Shachi: Who was it?!

Shachi: Were those letters written by a ghost?!

D: Our positions have been reversed, warden.

E: Hey, warden.

E: Looks like your own men hate you as much as the prisoners do.

E: Hey, if you don't come out,

E: we'll take out all our stress on the warden!

E: Watch closely.

E: We're going to beat the warden to death!

N: Stop!

N: Stop this nonsense. It's for your own good.

E: Hey, unlock that door.

E: Did you say something, old man?

Gin: For an old man who was stuck in prison for the rest of his life,

Gin: his son was the only light in his dark world.

Gin: But it was an illusion.

Gin: There was no light.

Gin: But you couldn't take that away from him.

Gin: When you're sitting behind bars, the whole world is an illusion.

Gin: So he gave him what he could.

Gin: That would explain why they only made small talk.

From your son.

C: You're...

Warden: Bastards, you think you can get away with touching my toys?

Warden: I'm sending you all to the disciplinary room.

Shachi: I never imagined that the sick and twisted warden was

doing this for the old man.

Shachi: He pretended to be the old man's son to hide his death.

Gin: If the old man is allowed to see his son,

these letters will have been for nothing.

Gin: That's why he's been trying to get me to make trouble.

Gin: To get his clemency revoked.

Shachi: Why would the warden do this?

Gin: Beats me.

Gin: He probably doesn't know either.

G: Attention, criminals!

G: Open the doors and release the guards at once!

G: Or else you will all have your sentences increased!

B: You're the ones who locked us up in here!

B: We're just making ourselves comfortable!

Shachi: Shit, they started a riot!

Gin: The warden's wish came true in an unexpected way.

Gin: The old man's clemency ain't happening now.

Shachi: That doesn't matter!

Shachi: Those guys aren't gonna let the warden live!

Shachi: The old man's in danger, too!

Gin: Can't have that.

Gin: If he dies, there won't be anyone to prove my innocence.

Gin: Besides , I finally found evidence of his evil.

Gin: I'll make him pay for the crime of fooling a weak old man.

Shachi: Bro, was that your goal from the beginning?

Gin: Thanks for the help.

Gin: Now hide.

Gin: If you mess around any more, they'll hang you.

Shachi: Wait, you were using me for your own petty reasons?

Shachi: It's my turn to use you.

Shachi: I don't give a damn about the old man or the guards.

Shachi: But I can't let our sentences be extended because of one stupid warden.

Shachi: I'll act as a decoy and draw the attention of the guards.

Shachi: Use that opening to deal with this riot.

Gin: Wait, that's...

Shachi: Go crazy and get some more time tacked onto your sentence.

Shachi: Then we can continue to have a blast in this place.

Gin: Hey, wait!

H: Hey, look!

H: It's Shachi!

H: Get him!

Shachi: Catch me if you can.

Shachi: But it won't be easy to grab the sleeve of the king of criminals!

H: Your sleeves were ripped off!

Shachi: I'm counting on you, Bro.

Gin: Yeah, I got this, Buri.

Shachi: It's Shachi!

G: Damn! They used the commotion to run away!

F: Shachi's men aren't around either!

C: Damn! If the hostages escape, we'll be crushed!

C: Find them!

B: Warden, a lot of men have been injured.

B: We need to get them medical care.

B: Old man, hang in there. Hey, old man!

Warden: The prisoners want me.

Warden: I'll hold them here.

B: What?

B: But you'll be...

A: Are you trying to get yourself k*lled?!

Warden: Give this to the old man.

Kuzunosuke Beri

Warden: It's the last letter.

D: Found ya.

D: Hey, what are you all doing here?

Warden: Move it!

Warden: If you don't hurry, I'll throw you into the disciplinary room!

B: Warden! We'll be back with help as soon as we can!

A: Don't die!

Guards: Warden!

Warden: Greetings.

Warden: I apologize that this isn't a letter from your son.

Warden: If you are reading this letter,

Warden: it means that I have disappeared for one reason or another,

Warden: and you are no longer receiving letters from your son.

Warden: However, you don't need to worry.

Warden: Your son is doing fine.

Warden: His work has taken him to another planet,

Warden: so it's difficult for him to send letters.

Warden: There is a lot of paperwork that has to be done

Warden: before you can receive mail from another planet.

Warden: I apologize that I was unable to continue delivering his letters.

Warden: I'm sure that you no longer remember,

Warden: but when I was first assigned this position,

I was a complete outsider.

Warden: After causing trouble everywhere I went,

my parents dumped me in prison.

Warden: The hardened criminals weren't going

to listen to a clueless young fool,

Warden: and the guards resented me for my connections.

Warden: I would often find myself going to the oldest prisoner, you.

Warden: The rules of the prison,

Warden: methods for handling nasty prisoners,

Warden: the way to strike underhanded deals,

Warden: as well as the fact that the outside light was a ray of hope

Warden: for the prisoners in their dark cells...

Warden: I learned everything from you.

Warden: I can't say that I'm a respectable member of society.

Warden: I'm aware that I have nothing to be proud of.

Warden: However, you're the reason I'm able to stand

on my own, unsightly legs.

Warden: All I could manage was to help deliver these letters.

Warden: However, I would be happy to know that they gave you hope.

Warden: There will be a significant delay before the next letter arrives,

Warden: but please don't forget that there is

someone outside who is thinking of you.

Warden: Please remember that your son is not the only person

who cares about you.

Warden: It was nice knowing you.

Warden: From the evil prison warden.

C: We finally shut him up.

D: Hey, we're not finished with you yet.

D: Excellent.

D: It's your favorite place, the disciplinary room.

Disciplinary Room

D: This will make the perfect tomb.

D: Time to pay you back for all the abuse.

Gin: Hey, I have something to tell you guys who are

never returning to society.

Gin: When entering someone else's cell, knock first.

Gin: That's prison etiquette.

Gin: Especially when you're entering the disciplinary room.

Gin: There might be a really violent criminal inside.

All: Son of a bitch!

Warden: B-Bastard...

Warden: Why are you here?

Gin: It's too early for you to die.

Gin: You haven't met your father yet, you stupid son.

Warden: Bastard...

F: Hey! Have you forgotten what he did to us?!

Gin: I haven't forgotten.

Gin: Let me handle this.

Gin: You've blown off enough steam.

Gin: If you still need some exercise, I'll be happy to take you on.

Gin: Well, warden?

Gin: Did you forget your promise to me?

Gin: If I make trouble, you'll set me free.

Gin: Now, who's the most stressed out guy here?

Gin: Let's start the first Tournament of Stress!

Prisoners: Bring it!

Gin: Welcome to my disciplinary room!

F: Warden!

F: Are you okay, Warden?

B: What? I don't see any of the prisoners who were rioting.

F: Over there! There's a prisoner!

F: Why is he in a western uniform?!

B: Hey, stop!

B: Where are you going?!

Warden: Enough.

B: Warden!

Warden: Set him free.

B: Huh?

Warden: These prison walls can't contain him.

I: The prison's really calmed down.

J: We got prison guards and prisoners sleeping next to each other.

I: They all need to relax.

J: Still, I'm surprised they haven't hanged us yet.

I: That's the thing.

I: I heard that we won't be punished.

J: Huh? Why not?

J: The warden isn't going to let us off.

I: Didn't you hear? The warden...

Gin: I heard that you're going to shoulder the prisoners' crimes.

Warden: I knew that it was risky to play with prisoners

Warden: since there are people like you.

Gin: What I did was nothing compared to your letter business.

Gin: You chose a kind illusion over harsh reality.

Gin: Since you made that choice,

Gin: you're obligated to keep up the lie until the very end.

Gin: But you got scared

Gin: that he would eventually find out you were lying.

Gin: So you gave up and ran away.

Gin: As a result, the old man's being allowed to meet up with his son again.

Warden: I no longer have the right to walk through this door.

Gin: You don't have the right to whine either.

Gin: You're supposed to be an evil warden.

Gin: Tell the old man the harsh truth and laugh in his face,

Gin: or keep feeding him illusions until the day he dies.

Gin: One or the other.

Gin: Make sure the old man knows your decision.

Gin: And then I'll forgive you for throwing me in the slammer.

Gin: Or else, I'll send your head flying and go back to jail.

Warden: If I'm an evil warden, you're a demon.

Warden: The old man never told me

that it was so hard to give prisoners hope.

Warden: I don't know what I'm doing anymore.

Gin: True, you've been fooling the old man for a long time.

Gin: You pretended to be his son and offered him false hope.

Gin: But your feelings for the old man are no illusion.

Gin: Come on. It's time for the meeting.

Warden: Wait, I no longer...

Gin: No longer have the right to go in?

Gin: That's not true.

Gin: I have a criminal who's been

accused of falsifying documents and identity fraud!

Shachi: O-Okay, get in here, maggot!

Shachi: The victim is waiting in the visiting room,

Shachi: you mother-licking insect!

Warden: Y-You bastards...

D: Yes, pajamas are the best.

C: I don't see anything happening.

Gin: Warden, time for some of the best prison role playing of your life.

Shachi: Listen up, you have ten minutes.

Shachi: Any longer and the chief will find out...

Shachi: I mean, you're not allowed to meet any longer!

Shachi: Got it?

N: Good grief.

N: We have so many nasty-looking guards around now.

N: I heard that you quit your job.

N: Do you have another job yet?

Warden: No, I'm searching still.

N: I see...

N: Well, I wish you the best of luck.

N: Try not to get yourself called an evil warden again.

Warden: Yeah...

N: Guard, we're finished.

Shachi: Huh? Already?

Warden: Wait, old man!

Warden: I've been...

N: Don't say anything.

N: We were able to make small talk, just like always.

N: That's all I need.

Warden: Old man, did you...

N: I read the letter.

N: It was better than usual.

N: But your handwriting is still ugly.

Kuzunosuke Beri

N: Warden, I've always been writing letters to my son outside.

N: A son who turned out to have a nasty personality,

N: but that foolish son of mine is dedicated to his job.

N: I'm glad I was able to see you today.

N: Will you continue to write?

Warden: Yeah, I will.

N: It's a promise.

Warden: Yeah, whoever breaks the promise gets sent to the disciplinary room.

Gin: Ow!

Next Episode: Speaking of Crossovers, Don't Forget About Alien vs. Predator

A: Next week at this time:

A: Sket Dance!

A: For real?!