07x09 - Guys With Big Nostrils Also Have Big Imaginations/You Never Accept a New Sentai Series at the Start, But By the Final Episode, You Don't Want It to End

[bunniefuu]

Shin: Huh? A poster?

Gin: Yeah.

Sugar,Sign: Sugar Content

Gin: Why don't we make a poster advertising Odd Jobs?

Shin: Why now, after all this time?

Gin: I thought maybe our business was doing badly

Gin: because we've been skipping out on publicity.

Gin: Our work itself is top-notch, right?

Shin: Is it?

Gin: That's right.

Gin: Until now, we've been taking advertising too lightly.

Gin: In other words,

Gin: we've been taking Shigesato's nostrils too lightly!

Shin: Uh, I haven't!

Shin: I played the Mother series in its entirety!

Gin: He may be a famous copywriter who made the Mother series,

Gin: but nobody wants to enter the nostril of an old man, right?

Gin: Basically, advertising acts as a gateway to your business!

Welcome,Sign: Welcome.

Shin: Nostrils aren't gateways, damn it!

Gin: Anyway!

Gin: The anime is in its third season,

Gin: and we've even made two movies.

Gin: We need a second wind right now.

Gin: We've reached a point where we have to show off how cool and awesome Odd Jobs is

Gin: in order to attract new customers.

Shin: Why all this talk about flashback arcs and second winds lately?

Shin: Just how worried are you?

Gin: And that's why

Gin: I figured I'd ask you guys if you have any ideas for the poster.

Gin: For example, this is the poster for a certain famous game.

Cry,Sign: Don't cry until the ending.

Shin: In the end, you're totally neck deep in his nostrils!

Shin: His nostril hair already has a vice grip on your heart!

Cry ,Sign: Don't cry until the ending.

Gin: "Don't cry until the ending."

Cry,Sign: Don't cry until the ending.

Gin: Now this is what you call a copy.

Gin: And as you can see, the key visual perfectly captures

Gin: the image of the product...

Gin: I can't!

Cry,Sign: Don't cry until the ending.

Gin: Sorry, I need a moment.

Shin: Don't cry until the ending!

Kag: So we just have to show off Odd Jobs' appeal with visuals and text?

Gin: Exactly.

Shin: That won't be easy.

Shin: Especially the copy.

Sugar,Sign: Sugar Content

Kag: We should base it off Mother to an extent.

Kag: How about this?

Kag: "How much longer until the opening?"

Cry,Sign: How much longer until the opening?

Shin: What kind of copy is that?!

Title: Guys With Big Nostrils Also Have Big Imaginations

Snack,Sign: Snack Otose

Sign: Odd Jobs Gin-chan

Gin: We need a copy that tells people what we do,

Gin: while at the same time making them want to take a peek inside.

Kag: You mean telling them what this shop's like?

Gin: Something like this, for example.

Cry,Sign: It's okay as long as you don't go beyond pe**ing

W: "It's okay as long as you don't go beyond pe**ing."

Shin: What kind of shop are we?!

Shin: That's just a flyer for a brothel!

Shin: What, Odd Jobs allows pe**ing?!

Gin: It's just saying that in this frigid modern society,

Gin: we can provide some pe**ing for the soul, know what I mean?

Shin: We'll end up getting a call from JARO!

Shin: Also, would you break free of Mother's spell already?!

Shin: You're completely bound by it!

Kag: Well, all men do have mother complexes.

Shin: That's not what I meant!

Sugar,: Sugar Content

Gin: Fine.

Gin: Let's change the theme, then.

Gin: Forget about Odd Jobs.

Gin: Let's advertise this anime.

Gin: Sell some DVDs and Blu-rays.

Shin: Are we really gonna do such explicit shilling?

Gin: You can't run a business by sugarcoating everything.

Gin: You gotta be explicit with it.

Shin: No, that's not your business!

Shin: It's Aniplex's job!

Kag: How about this, then?

Cry,Sign: I still can't come up with an ending.

Sor: "I still can't come up with an ending."

Shin: That's too explicit!

Shin: And explicit is all it is! It's not advertising anything!

Shin: All it did was expose the mangaka's dark secrets!

Kag: It's about time

Kag: we made it clear why this anime's been dragging its feet for nine years,

Kag: stopping and starting all the time.

Gin: Kagura...

Gin: At times like these,

Gin: it's better to say the ending was finalized right from the start or something.

Gin: Or else they'll think the anime did the final chapter thoughtlessly.

Cry,Sign: I still can't come up with an ending.

Kag: Oh, so it's better if the ending is finalized?

Shin: Why are you finalizing the mangaka's ending?!

Shin: Calm down for a second!

Shin: Instead of making things too complicated,

Shin: let's just talk about this anime's good points.

Sugar,: Sugar Content

Sugar Smaller,: Sugar Content

Sugar Smallest,: Sugar Content

Cry,Sign: We got nothing.

All: "We got nothing."

Shin: That's depressing!

Shin: That can't be true!

Shin: We've gotten all the way up to episode , so there's gotta be at least one thing!

Cry,Sign: We got no glasses in this thing.

Bo: "We got no glasses in this thing."

Shin: What do you mean, no glasses?!

Shin: They're here!

Shin: They're shining brilliantly right in front of my eyes!

Cry,Sign r: Isn't he annoying? Why doesn't he suggest something instead of complaining?

Gin: "Isn't he annoying?"

Kag: "Why doesn't he suggest something instead of complaining?"

Shin: Why are you using the copy to have a conversation?!

Cry,Sign: No one in glasses until the ending.

Bo: "No one in glasses until the ending."

Shin: Even the guy in glasses got his ending finalized!

Shin: Come on, knock it off already!

Shin: You call this advertising?!

Shin: At this rate, we'll never finish the poster!

Odd ,Sign: Odd Jobs Gin-chan

Shin: Let's forget about Mother for now.

Shin: Think outside the box.

Shin: We can just decide on the visuals first,

Sugar,: Sugar Content

Shin: and match the copy to that.

Gin: Well, we certainly don't have the time to be getting stuck here.

Shin: Let's go with pictures we've already taken.

Shin: People can remember our faces that way.

Shin: First, let's decide which photos to use.

Shin: Okay, these three.

Gin: How are we gonna turn these totally different photos into a poster?

Sugar,: Sugar Content

Shin: Like this.

Gin: Ah, I get it.

Odd ,Sign: Odd Jobs Gin-chan

Gin: I've seen stuff like this before.

Kag: I guess it works.

Shin: The biggest problem is the copy.

Gin: We've got three spaces here, so we should make use of them.

Shin: How about something like this?

Snob,Sign: Cynical Slob

Gin: "Cynical slob."

Throb,Sign: Always on the Job

Shin: "Akways on the job."

Snob,Sign: Shyest of the Mob

Kag: "Shyest of the mob."

Snob Small,Sign: Cynical Slob

Throb Small,Sign: Always on the Job

Slob Small,Sign: Shyest of the Mob

Odd ,Sign: Odd Jobs Gin-chan

All: "Odd Jobs Gin-chan!"

Gin: Nah, that's kinda stale.

Kag: And corny.

Shin: But it rhymes!

Gin: That kind of thinking itself is stale.

Gin: You're like an old man who thinks doing things like a rapper is trendy.

Kag: And how come you're the only one who gets a

Kag: nice description like "always on the job"?

Kag: Damn Bespectacled Bob!

Shin: Nothing else came to mind!

Shin: You try it, then!

Kag: You need to treat everyone equally at times like these.

Kag: What do you think of this?

Judy,Sign: Judy

Gin: "Judy"

And,Sign: and

Shin: "and"

Judy,Sign: Marie

Kag: "Marie!"

Judy Small,Sign: Judy

And Small,Sign: and

Marie Small,Sign: Marie

Odd ,Sign: Odd Jobs Gin-chan

All: "Odd Jobs Gin-chan!"

Shin: How is that a good use of the three spaces?!

Shin: Good for you! You get to be Marie!

Shin: Why am I "and"?!

Shin: Is there any point to me living?!

Kag: I actually wanted to use "Ch*ge and "As*a," but now's not a good time!

Shin: That'd be bad!

Shin: We definitely can't do that on air right now!

Shin: Wait.

Shin: I'd still be "and" then, too!

Gin: Settle down, you two.

Gin: Jeez, you're fighting over something so stupid.

Gin: This is why I can't stand kids.

Gin: Let the adult here distribute it evenly.

Gin: "Love, heartache, resili"

Love,Sign: Love, Heartache, Resili

Shin: "ence,"

And,Sign: ence

Kag: "and"

Judy,Sign: and

Snob Higher,Sign: Love, Heartache, Resili

And Small,Sign: ence,

Marie Small,Sign: and

Odd ,Sign: Odd Jobs Gin-chan

All: "Odd Jobs Gin-chan!"

Shin: You're being too greedy!

Shin: Wouldn't one normally let us have the heartache and resilience?!

Kag: Talk about dirty! Is that how an adult should be acting?!

Gin: It's too early for you guys.

Gin: I was offering to carry all of the load, you know.

Sugar,Sign: Sugar Content

Gin: Then how about this?

Gin: Why don't we each write our own copy?

Shin: But they'd be all over the place, then.

Sugar,: Sugar Content

Gin: In that case, we can just set a theme.

Gin: Like the passion you have for work or something.

Shin: Oh, that sounds good.

Shin: Let's go with that.

Beeeeeeee,Sign: I'll do my beeeeeeeeeeeeeeee eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

Gin: "I'll do my best!"

eeeeest,: eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeest!

Workers,Sign: The workers are all nice people, so feel free to stop by.

Shin: "The workers are all nice people, so feel free to stop by."

Kag: "I'll do it!"

iiiiiiiit,Sign: eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeest! I'll do iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii

Workers ,: so feel free to stop by.

Beeeeeeee,: I'll do iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiit!

Snob Higher,Sign: I'll do my bee eeeeeeeeeeee eeeeeeeeeeee eeeeeeeeeeee eeeeeeeeeest!

Workers Small,Sign: The workers are all nice people, so feel free to stop by.

Slob Lower,Sign: I'll do iiiiiiiiiiii iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiit!

Odd ,Sign: Odd Jobs Gin-chan

Shin: Think about the space constraints, damn it!

Shin: And you guys were just trying to write something long!

Shin: You're totally just out to crush me!

Shin: I quit!

Shin: I'm done trying to work with you two!

Gin: Right back at you, dumbass!

Gin: You guys have no talent for this!

Kag: Boil Shigesato's nostril hair in water and drink it, you useless hacks!

Gin: What did you just say?!

Gin: Want me to write our copy with your blood?!

Kag: You're on!

Kag: I'll rip off your d*ck, make a print of it, and use that as our poster!

Shin: Bring it!

Shin: On second thought, I'm sorry!

Shin: I got carried away!

Shin: W-Wait a sec, Gin-san, Kagura-cha—

Shin: I was wrong!

Shin: It wasn't my place to say anything!

Odd ,Sign: Odd Jobs Gin-chan

G: There is but one reason we've all assembled here today.

Meeting,Sign: Kabuki District Association Meeting

G: In recent surveys taken by the government,

G: our Kabuki District has won the

G: triple crown of "least desirable place to live," "scariest town," and "least happening town."

Whiteboard,Sign: Kabuki District Cleanup Drive

Whiteboard ,Sign: (Survey results) -Least desirable place to live -Scariest town - Least happening town

Whiteboard ,Sign: Kabuki District

G: As such, I'd like to propose

G: a cleanup drive to improve the town's scenery, and...

Ago: Uh, I'm sorry,

Ago: but get lost, trash.

G: I'll be excusing myself now!

Ago: Improve the Kabuki District's image?

Ago: That's easy.

Ago: All we have to do is get rid of you yakuza.

Name,Sign: Kabuki District Four Devas Representative King of Fist Ago

You monsters are the ones ruinin' the scenery.

This ain't Universal Studios Japan.

Name ,Sign: Kabuki District Four Devas Representative Kurogoma Katsuo

Nobody wants chins jumpin' out at 'em.

Ago: You dare call my chin a D attraction?

After that w*r,

the Kabuki District Four Devas were destroyed for all intents and purposes.

Our boss retired,

Kada disappeared,

and Otose and Saigo have become completely docile lately.

I came here to see the next generation of Four Devas I'll be competin' with,

but it's lookin' like I can easily take control of this town myself.

I'm outta here.

Feel free to pick up the trash or get your chins fixed or whatever.

Ago: Katsuo,

Ago: haven't you heard about the new member of the Four Devas?

Ago: The super rookie that even Mama and Otose-san called

Ago: the person most likely to rule the Kabuki District?

Super rookie?

You don't mean...

Him?

What the hell?!

Y-You're...

Name ,Sign: Kabuki District Four Devas Representative NEET Samurai Sakata Gintoki

Ago: Pako!

The super rookie got taken out already!

Ago: What are you saying?

Ago: Pako's just Pako.

Th-Then...

Ago: Who did this to you?

Gin: R-Run away!

Gin: The super rookie is...

Gin: The Kabuki District Four Devas are done for...

Ago: What do you mean?

Ago: H-Hang in there, Pako!

I-It's a raid!

The new Deva is launchin' a raid!

G: Fortify the defenses!

G: Don't let them lay a finger on this town!

Wha—

Tae: Now, this won't do.

Tae: We're in the middle of an important meeting.

Tae: You guys always try to slack off the moment one takes one's eyes off you.

Tae: We can't let Otose-san and the others do all our work for us forever.

Tae: From now on, as the new generation,

Tae: we have to keep the Kabuki District safe.

Tae: Right?

Name ,Sign: New Kabuki District Deva Queen of Kabuki District Shimura Tae

Title: You Never Accept a New Sentai Series at the Start, But By the Final Episode, You Don't Want It to End

Odd ,Sign: Measures to improve the Kabuki District's image

Tae: Now that we're all here, let's begin.

Tae: Our topic is how to improve the Kabuki District's image.

Tae: As you all know,

Tae: we've been ranked first in "least desirable place to live," "scariest town,"

Hey.

How did a cabaret girl rise all the way to the position of Deva?

Tae: and "least happening town."

Gin: Gran Otose and Saigo encouraged her for some reason.

Gin: They even made me tag along. What a pain.

Gin: Forget about the Four Devas.

Tae: Let's think about how to give the Kabuki District a more positive image.

Gin: We're headed toward an era of gorilla rule.

You gotta be kiddin'.

As if we could obediently follow a cabaret girl!

Most of all,

I can't accept the next generation of Four Devas

being comprised of a yakuza, a NEET samurai,

a cabaret girl, and a baguette!

Ago: Whose chin are you calling a baguette?

Lady, I dunno about this improvin' the image nonsense,

but our town has many different faces.

And I like everythin' about it, includin' the filthy and dangerous bits!

Tae: You're right, Katsuo-san.

Tae: If everyone were to get Botox or cosmetic surgery,

Tae: they'd all end up with the same pretty face and no individuality.

Tae: I'd rather take an approach

Tae: with which we can show that if you take a closer look,

Tae: this town is kinda nice, if a bit unruly.

Tae: I love our town, too, you see.

G: Hey, that young lady...

G: I thought she was just a violent gorilla, but she actually knows where it's at.

Don't be moved by her words!

I'll admit yer heart's in the right place,

but how exactly are ya gonna approach this?

Cleanin' up the trash again? Cleanin' up the baguettes?!

You ain't gonna fool us with that!

Ago: I told you, I'm not a baguette!

Tae: I have an idea.

Tae: Why don't we all come up with a local mascot for the Kabuki District?

G: A local mascot?

G: I've heard of those!

G: Like Nara's Sento-kun, and Kumamoto's Kumamon,

O: and that bouncy, squeaky thing!

O: They're weirdly-designed SD characters holding the area's local specialties, right?

Station,Sign: Kabuki District Station

Tae: That way, people could gain an affinity for the town along with the mascot.

Tae: And if it goes well, we could bring wealth to the town by selling character merchandise.

Tae: I think we can profile the Kabuki District's charm from a different perspective.

Are you stupid?!

Like hell we could sell somethin' that fancy in this town of hooligans!

What the hell is the Kabuki District's local specialty, anyway?

You ain't gonna profile cabaret clubs or s**plands, are ya?!

Ago: We can solve that problem by summing it all up as "nightlife."

Ago: Beyond that, if we give it a name that puns on "Kabuki District," we'll be fine.

Gin: Nightlife and Kabuki District...

Gin: How about something like this?

Odd ,Sign: Kabuki-kun

Gin: Kabuki-kun.

You're taking the gangster meaning of "kabuki"?!

What part of him is an SD mascot?

His glare seems awfully menacing!

Ashtrays,Sign: Local Mascot Kabuki-kun Ashtrays

Gin: You can tell at a glance that you could enjoy the nightlife here.

Ago: He's a fine man, and it's not a bad idea...

Ago: But I'm not sure about the name "Kabuki-kun."

Ago: Shouldn't we go with a fancier name and visual?

Ago: Like Kumamon.

Gin: Right.

Gin: How about this, then?

Odd ,Sign: Kaburimon

Gin: Kaburimon.

That's advertising something totally different!

Gin: Isn't having something on top (kaburu) fancier than being circumcised?

My ass!

All you did was give Kabuki-kun an extra layer!

Gin: In that case...

Gin: Shall we try taking it all off?

Odd ,Sign: Kaburimon

O: Good morning!

Why is there a guy inside Kaburimon with something else on his top?

How'd he grow his hair back?

Gin: He didn't.

Morning,Sign: Oh! Tokudana!

He didn't, but it's there!

He's makin' it look like he has!

Gin: Should we take that off as well?

No need! No need to take it off!

O: Good morning!

Odd ,Sign: Kaburimon

Gin: Like this, there'll be a tiny Kaburimon inside Kaburimon.

Gin: And inside that tiny Kaburimon...

O: Good morning!

O: Good morning!

What's this, a matryoshka doll?!

O: Good morning!

Ago: Well, it does look more like a local specialty product now...

How so?!

In the end, it's turned into Russia's local specialty!

Ago: But this part right here is too prim and proper for an SD mascot.

Odd ,Sign: Kaburimon

Ago: It looks so unnaturally good, it ends up feeling fake.

Enough about Kaburimon already!

Ago: The appeal of SD mascots lies in the fact that they seem amateurish...

Ago: That they're not as refined as they could be.

Ago: Like, "we forcibly put a cute animal and our local specialty together" or something.

Gin: Yeah, I know what you mean.

Ago: Why don't we start with an animal and take it from there?

Ago: For example, something like this.

Cat,Sign: Kabukat

Ago: We use a cat as the base and dress it like a cabaret girl.

Gin: Yeah, that could work.

That chin's too long!

Cat,Sign: Kabugiraffe

Ago: Or a giraffe dressed like a host.

Seriously, that chin's too long!

Cat,Sign: Inoki

Ago: Or a chin dressed like a pro wrestler.

The only feature there is a long chin!

What is wrong with your eyes?!

Does everythin' look like it has long chins to you?!

Ago: What? Isn't this normal length?

You have a weird standard for chins!

The world doesn't revolve around chins, you know!

Gin: We could use this chin and put inside it...

Ino: One!

Ino: Two!

Ino: Three!

Quit tryin' to solve everything with matryoshka dolls!

Tae: Listening to you all makes me think

Tae: we're restricting ourselves to the Kabuki District too much.

Tae: Let's forget about the Kabuki District for a bit and think more freely.

Ina: Baby!

Tae: On that let's go with Inaba-san from B'z!

Ina: Baby!

That's thinking too freely!

He has nothing to do with the Kabuki District!

You just like him!

Tae: I'm sure he's visited the Kabuki District at least once.

And you're okay with such a flimsy connection?!

Gin: Then in order to link Inaba to the Kabuki District,

Gin: let's start with his hot pants.

Why'd Kuniko pop out of Inaba?!

Gin: Kuniko reminds me of...

Kun: Chin.

Why'd this turn into Magical Banana?!

Gin: Chin reminds me of chin.

Ago: Chin reminds me of chin.

Gin: Chin reminds me of chin.

Ago: Chin reminds me of chin.

You're staying on "chin" too long!

Ago: Chin reminds me of long.

Gin: Long reminds me of hair.

O: Good morning!

Ago: Hair reminds me of wig.

O: Good morning!

Gin: Wig reminds me of wig.

O: Good morning!

Ago: Wig reminds me of Zura.

You ended up back at Kaburimon!

O: Good morning!

Enough is enough!

I'm done with this crap!

We're outta here!

Tae: Then what would you suggest, Katsuo-san?

What would I suggest?

I've been against the local mascot thing all along.

Tae: What exactly don't you like about the idea?

Tae: I'd love to hear your thoughts.

Tae: Even if they're terribly harsh.

Tae: So please.

Well, if I were to symbolize the Kabuki District's identity,

I wouldn't limit it to just cabaret girls or hosts.

There are cabaret girls,

trannies,

shady samurai,

and gangsters.

A chaotic mix of all those blacks and whites...

That's what Kabuki District is all about.

Long story short,

you need to be more than just cute to cut it in this town.

Tae: Blacks and whites...

Let's go.

Tae: Um, Katsuo-san!

Tae: Thank you.

Tae: Also, I'm glad to have learned that you truly love this town.

Tae: We'll definitely create a local mascot you'll approve of.

G: Bro, at first I thought that girl was nothing but a violent gorilla,

G: but she's really just doing her best to help this town...

Shut it!

I won't accept it.

A girl like that?

One of the Kabuki District's Four Devas?

I'll never accept it.

G: Bro!

G: We got a delivery addressed to you.

Who's it from?

Boxes,Sign: Kabuki District Association

G: The Kabuki District Association.

Sign: With your help, we've managed to create a local mascot for the Kabuki District. Thank you so much. - Kabuki District Association P.S. We're returning the favor, seven for three. Seven went to Kabuki District, and the three is for you, Katsuo-san. Feel free to use them however you like.

Tae: With your help, we've managed to create a local mascot for the Kabuki District.

Tae: Thank you so much.

This is stupid.

But I guess I can accept that she truly loves the Kabuki District.

You louts!

Go sell these all over the Kabuki District!

The Jirocho Family gets to keep all the revenue!

G: O-Okay!

I wonder what those idiots ended up making.

G: This will earn us a fortune.

G: I've never seen such a cute mascot before.

G: Look!

G: It's called Burakkuma, apparently.

I've totally seen that bear before!

It's totally black market merch now!

G: What do you mean?

G: It makes for a perfect cell phone strap!

No, that ain't the issue.

This is a ripoff!

C: Excuse me.

C: We've received information that you're illegally selling Rila*kumas here.

That bitch!

And you. What did you just hide there?

Tae: I'm sorry,

Tae: but I need the people defiling my Kabuki District to disappear.

Tae: You said it best, Katsuo-san.

Tae: You need to be more than just cute to cut it in this town.

You'll pay for this,

you damn bitch!

Preview Green,Sign: Preview

FT: Would you like your fortune told?

Name ,Sign: A shady fortuneteller calls out to Kyubei.

Preview Green,Sign: Preview

FT: You people must face up to the sex you've been given.

Name ,Sign: And then...

Title: + = Yagyu Jyubei

Gin: Huh? What the hell?

Text r: Huh? What the hell?

Text l: Men into women? Women into men??

Text r: Next week,

Text l: the "Genderbend Arc" begins!