03x05 - Circus Angelicus/The Stork

[bunniefuu]

[ Snoring]

[ Gasps]

[ Kids laughing]

[ Man laughing maniacally]

[ Wails]

Look, kid, it's just
an act-- makeup.

Under this freak show, I'm
a regular guy, like your dad.

[ Screams]

[ Wails]

[ Wailing]

Stu, maybe we'd better go.

[ Kids wailing]

Stu:
but we haven't
even seen

The amazing
human rolodex.

Angelica:
why do I
have to go?

I wasn't crying.

Sorry, folks, no refunds.

Didi:
I'm glad we left.

I'd forgotten
how unsanitary
circuses are.

Come on, deed.

Circuses are an
american institution.

They're part
of growing up.

Kids love the circus!

Blech!

I hatethe circus.

Chuckie,
it's all over now.

Whew!

Hey, thanks for bailing me out
back there, tommy.

I felt really stupid
crying all by myself.

Don't mention it.

It's not fair!
We missed the good stuff

All because
of those babies crying!

Angel, you saw a
lot of good stuff.

Remember that
big scary lion?

That dumb old lion had no teeth.

And you got cotton candy
and popcorn

And even that
nice stuffed turtle

You were
screaming for.

Stupid turtle,
it doesn't even do anything.

What do you expect for $ . ?

The whole circus was dumb!

Well, now, if you
ran the circus

You could do
everything yourway.

If iran the circus?

Hmm...

Angelica:
guess what,
babies.

[ All gasp]

All:
what?

I'm going to have
my very own circus

And if you babies
do what I say

You get to be in it.

No, not a circus!

They have wild aminals
running around

And astrobats
flying up in the air

Without anybody to catch them

And these clowns
with big scary glasses

With this scary red hair
sticking out everywhere...

Both:
hey!

Our own circus!

We can have a big tent!

And invite
everybody to come!

I could be a lion tamer,
and spike could be my lion!

And I'll be
the astrobat!

I want to be
the astrobat!

You can both be
astrobats

But I'm the
ring monster

And if you want to be
in my circus

You have to do whatever I say.

Um, angelica...

What if one of us doesn't
want to be in the circus?

Funny you should ask that.

Mr. Turtle here didn't want
to be in the circus either.

[ Gulps]

Angelica:
no, no, no,
chuckie!

That's the third
time you've missed.

You were supposed to jump up
onto lil's shoulders

Not crawl all over her.

Angelica, I quit.
I can't do this.

Okay.

Huh?

That's fine.

You don't have to be
in the circus.

I don't?

Nah, go ahead and quit.

But it's going
to be pretty hard

To explain to
all your friends

That there's not going
to be any circus no more.

[ Squealing]

You mean, just
because of me

No one's going to have a circus?

That's right, chuckie.

But why?

Because a circus
is a team.

It's a family.

It's none for all
and all for me.

Without you, there
can't be any circus.

Wow, I never knew
I was thatimportant.

Say, angelica...

All right, everybody,
listen up!

There ain't going
to be no circus

Because chuckie doesn't
want us to have one.

No more circus?

Don't you want
to play with us,
chuckie?

Don't you want us
to have fun?

Of course I do, I never said...

Why won't you let
us have a circus?

Oh...

Angelica, I changed my mind.

I want to be in the circus.

All:
yay!

I don't know, chuckie.

After all, you
can't do anything.

Circus people have
to do tricks and stuff.

Tommy:
give him a chance!

Well...

All:
please? Please,
please, please?

Well, all right.

Now-- everybody stand
on your heads!

On your heads!

Chuckie!

I'm trying, I'm trying!

Now, jumbling is
just like playing catch

Only by yourself.

Okay.

Look you guys, I can jumble!

Now do it with
two of them.

Throw them up high.

Uh-oh.

[ Chuckie groaning]

Angelica, isn't there
something easy I can do?

Oh, sure... Come see
the amazing chuckie take a nap

Play in the sand
and eat cookies.

Yeah, that'd work!

Oh, just forget it.

Hey! I know one thing
you could do!

You could be
the human candyball!

The circus is on!

[ Cheering]

What's a human candyball?

Step right up!
Get your tickets here!

Come see angelica's
one and only baby circus

The greatest show ever!

Is this your circus, angelica?

It doesn't look
like the circus
I went to.

Well, look at it harder.

Oh, I see it now!

It's great!

I brought some friends.

Hmm... Looks like
a big crowd tonight.

You're rolling too fast,
lillian!

No, you're
too slow, phillip!

Remember, spike--
you're a furry-ocious lion

But only pretend
furry-ocious, okay?

What am I going to do, tommy?

I don't know how to be
a human candyball.

Don't worry, chuckie,
angelica said it'd be easy.

Well, then,
why am I wearing this?

Everybody wears funny clothes
in the circus.

That's what makes it fun.

I'm not having fun,
I'm having a tummyache.

Are you babies ready yet?

Ready!

Ready!

Ready!

Do you think
we could go over

This human candyball
thing again?

Chuckie,
chuckie, chuckie.

All you got to do is

Just sit on
the seesaw

And wait for me
to blow the whistle.

That's it?

Yeah, that's it.

Pretty much.

Oh, okay.

Angelica:
ladies and gentleben!

Children and babies of all ages!

Welcome to angelica's
three-ring circus

Starring your ring monster,
angelica!

[ Applause]

Thank you, thank you.

A lot of work went into
making this circus

But I was happy to do it

Because I think this
really, really, really is

The greatest show on earth!

[ Thunderous applause]

And now, in the center ring,
our first act

The stupendous and
death-defrying trapeze act

The flying phil and lils!

That's us--
go ahead, lil.

After you, phil.

No, you, lillian.

No, you, phillip.
[ Thunderous applause]

Thank you, thank you.

And now for our next act,
tommy pickles

The fearless lion trainer!

[ Applause]

[ Roaring]

[ Cheering]

[ Cheering]

Thank you, thank you.

And now, for our finale

Angelica's circus
is proud to present

For the first and maybe
last time anywhere ever

The courageous chuckie

The human candyball!

And now, chuckie
the human candyball!

Hey, chuckie, get out here!

Psst! Angelica!

One moment, folks.

For pizza's sake, chuckie

All these people
are waiting.

I forgot what to do.

Oh, do I have to
show you everything?

Now, pay attention, because
I'm only going to show you once!

First, you get on the seesaw.

Then, you just sit tight.

Then, I blow my whistle.

Then, phil and lil... Uh-oh.

[ Giggling]

[ Everyone shrieking]

Wow, that was
a lot better than
the real circus.

You know what, tommy?

I think I likethe circusp.

[ Laughing weakly]

Hey, I'm a human candyball.

Hey...

[ Slurping]

I don't care if he is
chairman of the board.

He's emotionally
unstable.

[ Slurping]

I never liked
the term "hostile
takeover."

Honey, don't slurp.

Use your fork.

Let's not
get into...

[ Loud slurping]

Then again, your way's fine.

Mommy, I have
a question.

Yes, dear?

Where do babies come from?

What did you say?

Where do babies come from?

Well, you know,
angel pie

That's a very
good question.

Yes, it is.

You know, I think
I left the beets

Boiling in
the kitchen.

I'd better go help your mother.

Boiling beets can be
mighty tricky.

What are we going
to do, charlotte?

Relax, relax, we agreed
a long time ago

We'll tell her
the truth.

Right, the truth--

Honesty is the
best policy.

Okay, the truth--
okay, right.

How are the beets?

The beets?

Oh, yes, the beets.

Uh, they need
a little more time.

So, uh... What were
we talking about again?

Babies-- where do
they come from?

Oh, yes...
Well, honey

It's actually very
simple... Drew?

Thank you, dear.

Well, cupcake...

It all starts
with a mommy...

And a daddy.

Right... Well,
first they decide

They really want a baby.

They make a
responsible decision

Not recklessly

But after lots

Of careful businesslike
consideration.

Let me put it
this way.

We all start out as a tiny egg.

An egg?!

Oh, drew, you're making
it so complicated.

Sweetie,
to make a baby

Mommies and daddies
need to...

Call the stork!

The stork?

The stork?

Right, the stork--

That big ugly bird
with feathers.

So the stork
brings them
a baby?

Right.

Wait a second!

I thought you said
babies come from eggs!

Uh, they do.

Drew:
stork eggs!

Oh! So I come
from a stork's egg!

Exactly.

Tommy:
so let me get this straight.

When a mommy and
a daddy decide

They want
to have a baby

They call the stork?

What's a stork?

A big ugly bird
that lays eggs.

Eggs?

Uh-huh...

The stork brings the egg

To the mommy and daddy

Who take care of it
till it hatches into a baby.

All:
wow!

That's amazing!

Amazing... But true!

[ Cheering]

Charlotte:
we're all watching football.

Can youimagine?

Buffalo should
blow washington out

In the
first quarter.

I don't know,
betty.

Washington has
the league's

Leading passing
att*ck.

Hurry up, boys!

The game
is about
to begin!

All those women
think about is sports.

Relax-- we're
going to cook up

The best ultra bowl
omelette ever seen!

You grate
the cheese.

I always have
to grate the cheese.

I can't believe
I started as an egg!

I don't know.

You still
kind of look

Like a egg
to me, tommy.

I don't think I'd
like being an egg.

Small spaces make
me uncomfor'ble.

Hey, you know what?

If my mommy and daddy
call the stork

Then I could have
a baby brother!

Too bad
we're babies.

Otherwise we could just go get
a stork's egg ourselves.

Oh...

I'll get the
screwdriver.

Sure you got
enough eggs?

Yeah.

To be safe, I got a gross.

A gross? Stu, that's eggs!

Oops.

There's got
to be a stork

Around here
somewhere!

How do you know?

Someone had
to bring me!

[ Squawking]

All:
the stork!

Now's our chance.

Let's get the egg!

See anything, lil?

There's a big basket up here.

Oh, great, a basket!

Whoever heard of
eggs in a basket?

[ Grunting]

An egg! I got an egg!

It's got spots.

I wonder
if it's sick.

Nah, I think
it's just freckles.

Hi, I'm tommy.

I'm your brother.

Chuckie:
he's probably shy

Hanging out with
big kids like us.

So what are you
going to do

With your baby
brother, tommy?

Let's hatch it!

Maybe we'd better
give it to your mom.

No, chuckie, we can't show it
to the grown-ups!

They don't
understand babies!

Then what are
we going to do?

We'll keep it
and raise it ourselves.

You know,
if he's a baby

We'll have
to name him.

Let's call him phil!

Or lil!

I know! We'll call him milton.

All:
milton?

I think it's time
for milton's nap

Or he'll start to get cranky.

We got to make sure
he's warm enough.

Nighty-night, milton.

Hey, babies!

All:
shh!

What's going on?

All:
shh!

Quiet! You'll
wake up milton.

Who's milton?

He's my new
baby brother.

We got him
from the stork.

Oh, it's so cute!

Hey, tommy...

That's not your
baby brother.

It isn't?

Nope.

It's mybaby sister!

[ Cries of protest]

You're wrong,
betty.

Henderson
just isn't a
big-game player.

Shows what
youknow.

And then I'll teach you
how to act real super cute

So the grown-ups will give you
whatever you want.

Tommy:
angelica!

What do you want?

We want
milton back!

Oh, yeah? It just so happens

That miltonia here
wants to stay with me.

Miltonia?
Miltonia?

Isn't that right?

You better give
him back, angelica!

Why should i?

It'd be too bad if you
never saw cynthia again.

Hold on! Just don't do
anything crazy!

I'll do it, I'll do it!

I think he's
going to do it!

What's he doing?

Okay, okay,
here's what we'll do:

You give me cynthia,
I give you miltonia.

Milton!

Right, right, milton.

Wait a minute,
angelica!

How do we know
you're telling
the truth?

Yeah! How
do we know

You won't just
take cynthia

And then
keep milton?

I know.

Angelica gives
milton to phil.

Then chuckie gives
cynthia to lil.

Then phil can give
milton to chuckie

And lil will give
cynthia to you.

Okay.

Angelica!

[ Whistle]

Touchdown!

Yes!

All right!

Milton!

Attaboy, spike!
Good job!

Hey, spike!
Where you going?

What are these?

Greek olives.

You can't put those
in an omelette!

Why not?

They have pits!

I knew that.

Wonder how
that got there.

Hey, drew, we got
to get cracking!

I'll save him!

But how will you know
which egg is milton?

You think I wouldn't
know my own brother?

[ Screams]

Hey, chuckie,
what's wrong?

[ Wailing]

Here, I'll give you a hand.

Hey! How'd you get
up there, champ?

Now, just stay put
a little longer.

We're almost done.

Whew! That was
a close one!

Taking care of a baby
brother is not easy!

Hey, look!

Oh, no,
it's broken!

Poor milton!

Sorry, tommy, guess
we broke your brother.

Guys, I don't think
he's broken.

I think he's...

Hatching!

All:
wow!

Boy, I heard
new babies were
kind of ugly...

He ain't ugly,
he's my brother.

Didi:
goodness gracious!

How'd a little
bird get in here?

Pop, you got to stop
leaving the door open.

We'd better get
this little fella

Outside where
he belongs.

There-- home sweet home.

Stu:deed!

The carmichaels
are here!

Coming!

Maybe your mommy didn't
want a baby right now.

Yeah, I guess not.

Hey, tommy, know what?

I don't think that
was a baby person.

I think it was
a baby stork.

A baby stork?

If that's a baby stork

Then where do baby
people come from?

Susie:
oh, everybody
knows that.

Hi, susie.

Come here,
I'll tell you

Where babies
come from.

[ Whispering]

Huh?

Really?

Get out of town!

[ Cheeps]