Horror Hotel the Movie (2016)

[bunniefuu]

You are out Rodger!

You're no good and you're gone.

I've waited long enough for you to
shape up and now you're out for good.

Aw! Come on Cindy.
Don't be like that.

By now Mister Rodger Dodger, you should
have given up that crummy job at

the glue factory and gotten something
that pays a whole lot better.

I deserve more than
a title pawned car.

No! I'm tired of staying in
this week-to-week Motor Court.

You need to get more money

or you're out.

May I help you?

Our Space Buggy
is about to crash.

This is a really cool scene.

Space Buggy? What Space Buggy?

That is our Space Buggy.

It looks like your Space Buggy
just pancaked Cindy's Super Bee.

Yeah. Gnarly splashdown.

Who was driving that thing?

Oh! I was.

Our Space buggy is equipped with
a Time Advance Ejection System.

In the event of imminent crash it transports
passengers to an earlier time frame

away from danger.

I could have used something
like that a few times myself.

You totally wiped out my car. I hope
you guys got some good insurance.

We do not have
insurance in space.

You're not in space anymore. Here on
Earth you've got to have insurance.

You girls had better wait in
my room while I call Al Sharko.

Let me find that title pawn to my car.
I know it's here somewhere.

What is your name
you dreamy hunk?

I'm Rodger! Rodger Dodger.

What a sexy name. My name is Aeliana.
My friend's name is Minoria.

Some kind of groovy!
Rodger Dodger baby.

Well! It's certainly a pleasure.

Smooth vibes Daddy-O.

So! What are you girls doing crash landing
your Space Buggy in this parking lot?

How come you didn't land that
thing over at the airport?

Moisture condensation caused our rear stabilizer
to freeze as we entered your stratosphere.

I totally lost
control for a while.

After the servos thawed
from atmospheric heat

I was able to get enough control
to set it down on open pavement.

Obviously not enough control
to avoid wasting my car.

That Super Bee was title
pawned with Al Sharko.

Take it easy Cindy.

These nice ladies just
escaped a fiery death.

Way Cool beat! Roger Dodger.

Turn on!

Rodger Dodger!
What a gas!

I think I love you.

Hmmm!

Dig the wig.
Yummy!

Look! I don't know what
planet you girls are from

but around here, girls leave
other girls boyfriends alone.

Oh I'm not really her boyfriend anymore.
Cindy just threw me out.

Oh! No!

He's not exactly a permanent throw out.
I was just trying to motivate him.

We have been cruising the
galaxy looking for boyfriends.

All the boys on our home planet were
wiped out by testosterone fever.

Yeah! Our cool
dudes be way gone.

Rodger Dodger might help us out.

Oh I'd like to help you out. How's
the employment situation up there?

Well Rodger Dodger. Boys just
need to stay busy being nice.

Girls do all the hard work.

Yeah! Just sh**t the tube.

Don't you get any ideas about
going anywhere with my boyfriend.

And you sure aren't getting out of here until
you clear up the mess you made of my car.

I'm calling...
Where's the phone?

I'm calling Al
Sharko. Right now!

He's got the title of
the car you just wrecked.

[phone rings]

Yeah!

Hello Mister Sharko.
It's Cindy Wood.

Cindy Wood... Cindy Wood!

Yeah yeah yeah. The Super
Bee. How's it hanging Cindy?

Not good. There's some flakey chicks
over here who just crashed into my car

and totally wasted it
with their spaceship.

Some Flakey chicks wasted
your car with a spaceship?

Sure did!

They say they don't
have any insurance.

You'd better come over
and talk to them about it.

I'll be right there.

How would you girls like
a Sonic Screwdriver?

It's an Earth drink that
everyone here loves.

I just happen to have some
Who Juice and plenty of Vodka.

Yeah! Lay it on me momma.

You will just love our home planet, Moe.
You can have your very own Castaway Island

where we can live
happily ever after.

Purr my fur!

Oh Baby!

[AM radio tunes up]

[Surfer Band, Mystery Men pick
out 'Order of the Black Sun']

So you learned all about Earth from
television broadcasts from the sixties?

That was like, fifty
years ago. Man!

Our home planet, Moe, is
fifty light years from here.

Television transmission signals
travel slowly at the speed of light.

We were only able to see a few of your
broadcasts, like Dance Train and Castaway Island

due to the solar skip.

So! How'd you get here so fast?

We equipped our space buggy
with Faster Than Light Drives

that simply folds space

so we don't have to travel
those huge distances.

Those dresses are way too short.

Do you like them?

We were watching
American Dance Train.

We wanted to dress like Earth
girls so boys here would like us.

Yo! Me like!

You would! Those girls
aren't wearing any underwear.

We were supposed
to wear underwear?

Totally groovy! Sonic
Screwdriver! Oh my!

[knock]

[sinister organ]

Looked over the damage to the Super
Bee out there. It's a total loss.

Ladies! That's no
airplane out there.

It is our Space Buggy.

Yeah well, your spaceship out
there is a total loss also.

Cindy says you girls don't
have insurance for that thing?

Oh dear! Are you going
to arrest us now?

Naw. Do you have any cash?
Anything of value at all?

An Interstellar
Navigation System.

There's no market for any of
your advanced technology junk.

I'm just going to scrap it.

What's it made of?

It is made of cheap platinum.

Platinum!

All of it?

Yes.

I think we might be able
to work something out.

Of course you'll have
to sign it over to me.

Sign right there.

It is a real pleasure
doing business with you.

Looks like we won't be
going home for a while.

Oh bad! So bad!

[Minoria moans in mortal pain]

Looks like you can't hold
your liquor, girly girl.

That's what you get for
trying to steal my boyfriend.

Oh dying!

So sad!

Oh baby!

Minoria is very ill.

Can we do anything?

She needs medical help.

Y-yeah! We need to
call the hospital.

You can't call the hospital.
These girls are ill*gal Aliens.

If you call the hospital they'll
be arrested by the authorities.

Rodger! Can I speak with
you in my office right now.

We can't call the hospital
because I think I overdosed her.

You think you overdosed
Minoria? What? How?

I put some birth control pills
in the Sonic Screwdriver.

It was only supposed to
make them a little sick.

That girl in there is very sick.
How many pills did you give them?

I only put my monthly
pills in the blender.

They're just birth control
pills for crying out loud.

What if I would've
tried to drink it?

Of course I wouldn't have
let you drink it silly.

They're just birth control
pills. They're not poisonous!

Some!..

Sometimes just one little pill
can make you dead dog sick.

A whole month's supply! Who knows
what it might do to an alien.

Don't be such a horn dog Rodger.
They're the enemy!

They were going to abduct you!

Take you away.

Use you for their own selfish
pleasures.

You didn't want me anymore.

What we need is that
g*n from your truck.

That one Alien, Aeliana,

She didn't drink her
Sonic Screwdriver.

We need to do
something about her

before she radios the mother ship and
gets reinforcements from outer space.

Ok Cindy.

I'll get the g*n.

She is dead! My poor
friend Minoria is dead!

You'd better watch your step Little Miss
Space Girl or you'll wind up dead too.

Roger's got a g*n.

It was that drink! You
poisoned the Sonic Screwdriver.

It wasn't really poison. It was
just some birth control pills.

They were supposed to
make you a little sick.

So that you'd leave
my boyfriend alone.

I'm not really your boyfriend anymore.
You threw me out. Remember!

Well! Now I'm taking you back.

No!

You're not!

You just m*rder*d this
little space chick.

It's not m*rder. She's not
human so it's not m*rder.

It is m*rder. Looks like she
was way more human than you.

I'm going to call
the authorities.

Rodger! It's not poison
in the Sonic Screwdriver.

It's just some
birth control pills.

I'll prove it.

Stop! That could k*ll you.

[Cindy gasps in mortal agony]

I'm calling the hospital.

Agh!

Do you really have to call
the authorities Rodger?

I really am an ill*gal Alien. I am
afraid the authorities will arrest me.

You won't have to be here
when the ambulance shows up.

Where will I go? What will I do? I
do not know anyone here but you.

Right now you can just hide in my
truck until the paramedics split.

No-one will see you there.

Oh Rodger! You can be
my steady boyfriend.

You're out Rodger!

Aw! Come on Aeliana!
Don't be like that.

You had your chance Rodger.
Now I'm going to get mine.

Please! I can get better.

You're not getting any better.

You didn't get a
better paying job.

You never have enough money.

Money isn't everything.

Oh yes it is.

I'm tired of living in
this sleazy Motor Court.

I want my own paid for car

with a clean title.

Bob

Bob

Hey Bob!

What's happening?

Bob.

Wake up.

You OK?

More?

That's a fifty dollar bill.

I know.

Today it's a hundred.

A hundred?

Today is a hundred?

Take it or leave it. Marvin.

All those are twenties.
You owe me ten.

I own you nothing.

You're getting what you want.

For cheap.

Next time it'll be two hundred.

Two hundred! What gives?

Take it or leave it.

What's the big idea putting
Connie under all *this trash?

You think she's
just some garbage?

Security's tight around here!

So what!

She lives here.

Next time, don't be putting
all this trash on Connie.

She can wait out in the
open like everybody else.

Don't worry Connie.

Money's really no problem.

I can come up with
four hundred next time.

The important part is
we're together now.

You and me.

You know what day this is?

It's our anniversary baby.

I'll be right back.

I've just got to get our
party stuff out of the truck.

Brought you some flowers.

Our favorite wine too.

Yep! We were married
seven years ago today.

I'll bet you even remember that funny
little preacher that married us.

He showed up with
a shiny black eye.

Said his mother hit
him with a skillet.

Your father did not
want us getting married.

You know later he told me that

your brother wanted to show up

with a shotgun and
stop the whole thing.

I think it's because your family
knows you're smarter than me.

But heck, aren't most wives
smarter than their husbands.

They all thought I wasn't
good enough for you.

We showed them.

After seven years,
we're still together.

We'll get you all fixed up
in your favorite nighty.

You look stunning!

You know I had to stop by
the store and get some ice.

The ice machine in
this motel never works.

What do you think Connie?

These roses aren't nearly as
pretty as your wedding bouquet.

Hmm! That's some good stuff!

That's a really good vino!

[knock]

What?

[knock]

Excuse me!
This is some kind of mistake.

Wrong room!

[knock]

Bob?

Yep. It's me. Let me in!

This is not a good time Bob.

You need to go away.

Ugh!

Are you here for more money?

No!

I'm not here for more money.

That's it! You're
leaving right now.

You got that right.

I am leaving right now and
I'm taking Connie with me.

Huh?

Connie and I are in love.

We're in love and
we're getting married.

Connie is not in love with you.

Where'd you get
an idea like that?

You know,

working nights there's no one
at that nursing home except

Connie and me.

Her and me got to know
each other real good.

Connie is in a coma.

How was she supposed
to be having these

conversations with you?

Well!

We just did.

I know what she's
thinking because,

I'm like,

thinking the same thing.

She speaks to my mind, man.

You've been working
midnights way too long Bob.

It's done stuff to your mind.

You need to take
your little flowers

and go back to the
Convalescent Center.

We have to get married.

It's only right.

How's that?

Connie's having my baby!

Your baby!

How'd that happen?

The usual way.

We got to be good
friends at first

and then one thing
led to another.

Connie can't be having your
baby for crying out loud!

She's in a coma!

She may be in a coma but
she can still reproduce.

Ugh!

Come on Connie, it's time to go.

Awk!

Yum!... Awk!

Awk!

You should have let
her go easy Marvin.

Why does everybody have to
make everything so hard?

When a mans in love, he's got
to do what he's got to do.

Awk!

(boink!)

Connie!

You're awake!

That's right baby! I'm awake!

You're not in a coma anymore!

I could hear you talking
to me the whole time.

I knew what was happening

but couldn't do
anything about it.

Do you know what day this is?

It's our anniversary.

Sometimes a comatose patient

will regain consciousness
for a short while

only to relapse into a
vegetative condition once again.

However, this patient will never
regain consciousness.

You're not a cop!

You're nothing but a
two bit bounty hunter.

Buzz off bucko!

Not a bounty hunter,

I'm a skip tracer.

Don't guess I need
to offer you a light.

Not for this piece of junk.

You got any real cigarettes?

Na!

I decided I'd better
give them up for good

when they made possession
a class D felony.

Those dirty rotten politicians!

I bet those slime-ba*ls
get the real cigarettes

straight from China
anytime they want them.

Just trying to protect
people from themselves.

Listen Georgia,

I've got to get you downtown

before the judge closes
his docket today.

He issued a bench warrant

when you didn't show up
for court this morning.

I'm not Georgia.

I'm her sister, Paris.

Come-on Georgia.

Don't mess around.

The judge is already
unhappy with you.

Really. We're sisters.

We're like, identical.

You're twins?

Well, quintuplets really.

There are five of us.

All identical.

Quintuplets!

Yeah!

We're some sort of
government experiment

to make human clones.

The project became
totally unpopular

so we got dumped out here.

Identical clones?

All cloned from our mother.

And the mighty USA is our daddy.

Wait!

The office manager
is your mother.

Yep!

Our mother is our
sister too, in a way.

A creepy sort-of way

Really Paris, I've got to
find your sister right away.

If the cops pick her up
she'll forfeit her bond.

Did you check her room?

Which one's her room?

She shares a room with Caroline.

Room . Rooof!

You all look alike?

So how can I tell who's who?

Well, we can always tell.

Even identical twins
aren't entirely identical.

Georgia has three
freckles by her left eye.

And I have this nice
mole right here.

And an even nicer
one right here.

Room . Right?

Yeah!

Caroline wears glasses.

We all need them but
she actually wears them.

Do you want to see my glasses?

Maybe some other time.

I need to speak
with Georgia Almond,

She's not in here right now.

I've got to find Georgia

before the judge
gets really upset

and revokes her bail.

Georgia didn't do it.

Georgia was in here with me

all night when Dakota died.

We didn't find out about Dakota

getting hit by that trash truck

until the next morning.

The police think Dakota
was also shot in the head.

That's why they think
it was a m*rder.

Yeah!

They say they found
Georgia's little g*n

under the corner
of the dumpster.

Like somebody wanted
it to get found.

Like why wouldn't the k*ller

just toss it in the
dumpster with the garbage.

You know Dakota was k*lled

because she wasn't going
to share the jackpot.

The lotto jackpot?

Dakota won the big one?

Yeah!

The whole family
plays that silly game,

except for me.

If somebody wins a little
something they split it up.

The winner gets more of course.

I'll bet you were
a little chafed

about not getting your
cut of the jackpot.

I don't get a cut.

I don't play that stupid game.

Sure!

Dakota wins the big one

and decides not to divide it up.

Dakota and Georgia
wanted to move

to Oregon and buy a dairy farm.

They said we could
all move out there too

and help with the cows.

Dakota likes cows?

She likes the idea of cows

Dairy cows

She likes the idea of cows

eating grass on sunny hills

and making milk from it.

I don't think she's ever
milked a cow before.

Georgia likes the
idea of cows too?

Yeah!

But it was going
to take everything,

like the whole jackpot
to buy the farm.

So Dakota and Georgia

decide to keep
the whole jackpot?

Dairy farms in
Oregon aren't cheap.

Mother says we're
staying right here.

Mother wants to use the winnings

to buy this Motor Court.

I don't ever play the lottery

so I guess I'd have to
be a guest and pay rent.

Were you going
out to Oregon too?

Yeah! I guess so.

Dakota was my best friend,

and I really love Georgia too.

I figure they have
books in Oregon

but I sure don't dream about
messing around with cows.

You know where Georgia is now?

Georgia said her
stomach was upset.

She wanted some ginger root tea.

I figure she went over
to Elizabeth's room.

What number is that?

It's room .

But you'll have
to hold your nose.

It's my boyfriend, Cain.

He's not feeling too good.

Tongue piercing went bad.

He doesn't look too sporty.

His disability check
comes in today.

But after that, he's
out of here. OK!

Hey! I'm just a
skip tracer lady.

I'm only looking for Georgia.

She's here man.

She's really here.

We're all here.

This is it man.

This is it?

The center of the universe.

We're all here!

Right now, man.

Oh gee!

I've got to find your
sister so I can help her.

A question.

A cosmic inquiry.

My sister! My friend!

Bonds we keep! chances we take.

Stars and celestial objects
in the voids of the infinity.

It's a hairball!

Not just any hairball.

It's Peter's hair ball.

Peter?

Peter the cat

died puking up this hairball.

Peter can answer your questions.

Yeah! Where is
Georgia right now?

Cat howling.

Cat hiss!

Cat howling

Cat spits

Georgia is with mother.

She's in there man!

She's been there all along.

Georgia sits in the bathroom.

Georgia sits in the bathroom?

She sits in there man.

She reads in there.

Mother says she sits
in there all night

and sleeps in there.

Georgia sleeps in the bathroom?

She's been there all along.

Jeepers creepers! I
should've guessed!

Jumpers always
run back to Momma.

Mother's got a g*n!

You're not going
anywhere with that man.

Georgia?

Mother! What are you
doing with that g*n?

You're not taking her
anywhere Mister bounty hunter.

Not a bounty hunter.

I'm a skip tracer.

I have tried to raise
these girls right.

Like a rat eating
an onion I've tried.

Momma! You did the
best you could.

They didn't have a daddy.

I had to be their
momma and their daddy.

And teach them to
share and share alike.

This skip hunter isn't taking

my little girl down for
something she didn't do.

I did it!

I shot Dakota that night
out by the dumpster.

Momma!

You shot Dakota.

Why?

She wasn't going to share.

I had to teach you girls,

you all need to learn to share.

There's nothing to share.

This ticket's no good.

What?

Dakota didn't read
the numbers right.

She confused a
five with an eight.

Needs glasses! We all do.

It doesn't matter to
me who shot Dakota.

I just need to get Georgia
in front of the judge today.

I guess I should ride along
and talk to that judge myself.

You can if you like.

He'll make you get a lawyer.

You must strap the patients down

to keep them from
hurting themselves.

Exchanging brains
can be somewhat

violent.

I never get violent.

I can always control myself.

I would be delighted
to personally

wire you up and strap you down.

I'm certain my
personal assistant,

Mr. Homm, can manage it.

I can manage it.

Ms. Bird

this very instrument

is the prototype
for the next wave

of identity theft.

The British Navy's Q Branch

considers this Brain
Interface Machine

to be one of the

most dangerous weapons
it's ever tested.

They consider it to be

the ultimate tool
for identity theft.

Are you planning to
steal someone's identity?

My company, Ostrich
Publishing is very big.

But it's only the
second biggest.

Big Dipper Publishing
is the biggest.

I need to know about
their next best seller

before it hits the shelves.

A young editor
over at Big Dipper

has agreed to

work with us.

So!

You're going to
implant your brain

into a young woman's

body!

A double agent you
can trust completely.

I never trust anyone.

That is why I

am more successful
than everyone.

Oh! By the way

Doctor Skipfly

Mr. Homm did ask about
your special spray?

I do market this spray
I formulated myself.

It's instantaneous
and untraceable.

It can k*ll a raging
bear dead in its tracks.

I can let you have this one

because you're
already purchasing

the Brain Machine.

Mr. Homm.

Test the sprayer on the Doctor.

What?

[TV screams]

Thank you for meeting
us in this place

Miss Sylvia Bunch.

Please call me Sylvia.

Everyone always
calls me Ms. Bird.

You've met Mr. Homm before.

Only on the phone.

Mr. Homm said that you

want to borrow my identity

so you can see some
of Big Dipper's

current projects for yourself.

When you spoke to Mr. Homm.

You said something

about your Mother being ill.

That's why you need the money.

Yes, my Mother has cancer

with just a few
short weeks to live.

Her only hope is a

very expensive
experimental treatment.

You have to understand

I really am desperate
for the money

or I would never do

this awful thing to Big Dipper.

I also have a mother.

That is why I'm
so understanding.

Did Mr. Homm tell you how I plan

to use your identity
to gain access

to Big Dipper's Boardroom?

No. He just said you have the

latest technology

for using my identity.

Homm!

Show her the Brain Machine.

Oh Wow!

Mr. Homm will connect us up

to this little
piece of technology

and it will simply
swap our brains.

You will become me and

I will become

you.

Do I need to sign

some kind of contract
or something?

On my! No!

What we are doing here

is entirely beyond the law.

My cash is my contract.

I'm ready to get started

Now! Miss Bunch.

I'm fine.

Just a little nervous I guess.

I never get nervous.

If I do, I immediately remember

that I am much too important

to get nervous.

Homm! Hook us up now.

Homm! Her hair is going to
interfere with the wires.

You need to shave her.

No! Wait!

That is going to be my hair.

The hair is fine Homm.

Leave it alone.

I wonder what kind of
nasty little people

have sat in this old thing?

Ok! I'm comfortable now.

No! Wait!

Let me just sit up
a little bit more.

Homm!

Can't you loop these
wires off my face.

I can control myself
without those.

I am not at all
nervous about this.

I'm much too important
to get nervous.

Screams

[electrical volts raging]

[ding]

[bass drop]

Saa-a-ay?

Homm!

Get me off this floor.

These clothes are horrid!

Straight off the
department store rack.

I should've made
that girl change

into something more
suitable for me.

Ugh!

My teeth need to be whitened.

I'm going to have to get
them done right away.

I just can't be seen
with these yellow teeth.

Well Homm!

What do you think?

About what?

About me!

What do you think
about the new me?

Depends on who you are.

I'm Phoebe!

Phoebe Bird!

Of course

I'm the new Phoebe Bird

in a younger body.

A body that's more my age.

Well?

You do look younger.

Younger and more attractive

don't you think?

You look younger.

Now!

You can tell me you love me.

I know you've always loved me.

I have always
liked you Ms. Bird.

You love me Homm.

Just say it!

I love you Ms. Bird.

I could be in love with you too.

You know,

I've always admired
your young, strong body!

You know,

I only surround
myself with the best.

Thank you Ms. Bird.

Whoah!

Did it work?

It worked!

It worked perfectly.

I see you made it.

I made it great.

I knew I would.

I always come through
everything great.

It's like I'm talking

to myself in some weird mirror.

It looks like I've
gained a few years.

It's no problem.

I'll get used to it.

You won't have to
get used to it.

We might as well move on

to the next phase of our plan.

Mr. Homm!

Huh?

Homm!

What's your problem now?

I don't know.

I think you need to turn

that little green
valve on the tip.

I knew that!

These things aren't
rocket science.

[spray]

Ugh!

Well!

He shouldn't have got
his face in the spray.

This was meant for me.

Now that you've
stolen a younger body.

My body!

You were just going
to discard me.

Weren't you?

I'm much too
important to get old.

Ms. Bird.

You have indeed stolen my body.

Unfortunately for you

it isn't the lease on life

you were expecting.

Everyone needs me.

I can't get old.

My mother wasn't
dying of cancer.

I was.

It's in that body
you've stolen from me.

You have cancer.

Cancer?

What cancer?

The doctors only gave
me few weeks to live.

You are going to need these.

Probably all of them
and more before the end.

I can't die. Not me!

I really was desperate
for that money.

My last ditch hope

was that experimental treatment.

But I really didn't think
it was going to work.

I was going die of the
cancer in a few weeks

just like the doctors said.

That machine!

I have to switch back.

I must have my body
back this instant.

You can't just let me
die from your cancer.

Oh! I can.

So, Sid. Why'd you
want Bettylou k*lled?

Child support, custody, alimony?

None of those.

It's the dog.

She got the dog.

I really loved the dog.

The dog would do it.

You're going to k*ll
her tonight? Right?

How're you going do it?

Don't worry about it.

Your Ex is supposed to pick
me up in a couple hours

to take me for my
physical therapy.

I heard you've done this
sort of thing before.

You're a pro. Right?

There won't be any problem?

Listen Sid! I've got the best training
available. I'm very experienced.

I used to work for the US army in Iraq.
That's where I got hurt.

You got shot in Iraq?

Naw. Didn't get shot.

My buddy and I got drunk and
were riding around in a truck

looking for somebody to k*ll.

He drove the truck
into a big rock.

But you been k*lling
people since Iraq?

Not really.

Mostly give guitar lessons
and sell stuff I find.

Oh!... Hmm?

Have you k*lled
anybody since Iraq?

I been trying to work
my way back into it.

I don't know Four-Eyes. If you
haven't k*lled anybody in that long

you might've lost your touch.

Hey! I still got the touch. OK!

Just last month I k*lled that old
bag outside the title pawn shop.

I heard about that.

I heard it was an accident.

It wasn't an accident. I did it.

I hated that mean old chicken headed lady.
She'd repo your car if you were

two minutes late on your payment.
Was she going to take yours?

No. My wheelchair.

She had the title and I
couldn't make the payment.

Like what was I supposed to do?

I'm like, going through a dry
spell in the music business.

Kids just don't want
to play guitar anymore.

How'd you k*ll her?

I backed her into one of those big
dryers in that laundry-mat she runs.

Locked her in.

Put in some dimes.

Sizzzzzzz

Hee hee!

How many dimes?

Oh... four or five I guess.

Like I said, guitar lessons

are running a little
thin these days.

Four or five dimes would do it.

So!

You bring your g*n today?

Had to hock my g*n.

But don't worry! I'll
think of something.

Maybe...

Maybe, maybe I could
choke the victim.

You know! Really! Crush her windpipe
if I can get her down on the floor.

Argh!

That sounds like it might work.

One thing...

You could suggest she tie you up.
Bettylou loves to tie and be tied.

I don't know.

How am I supposed to choke her

if I'm all tied up?

You're not the one
getting tied up.

That's just what you say. Bettylou
will insist on being tied up first.

Trust me, I've been there.
She'll want to go first.

I don't know. I don't have any
ropes or that sort of thing.

You don't need rope.
Use the pillow cases.

You get burns from rope anyway.

So, so let me get this straight.

I need to tie her up
with the pillow cases?

Like, while she's on the bed?

No big deal.

We'll do a dry run
and I'll show you.

Just twist it up a little.
Like this

No you're twisting it up too much.
You don't want it so tight.

If it's too tight you
can't make any good knots.

That's it.
Now put a wrap around my wrist.

Tie me to the bedpost.

This beds awful shaky.

It's not gonna hold anybody.

It only has to hold her long
enough to choke her. Ok.

Now do my other
wrist the same way.

I don't know man.
I'm not feeling this.

It's going to work. Trust me.

This old bed's not
designed for this.

It's made out of steel tubing.
It'll hold up fine.

I need to take off your boots
to tie your legs down.

Not for this job you don't. When
her hands are tied like this,

you got enough advantage to
jump up on her and choke her.

I don't know.
Now that I think about it,

I don't think I've ever
choked anyone before.

You'll be fine.

You've got strong hands from
maneuvering that chair around.

Just crush her
windpipe like you said.

How come you don't just
do this thing yourself.

Like, you could save
yourself a thousand bucks.

And you'd be the only
one who knew about it.

There's always more problems when
more people are involved in a crime.

Like I said, I've been there.

Once I tie her up,
I'm in her power.

Then I'd let her tie me up. Then I'm
right back to giving her the dog.

I'd be better off smothering
her. Like with the pillow.

That way I wouldn't have to
see her face or anything.

It's not the same thing
as sh**ting somebody.

Man, you've got to untie
me. I've got to split.

Yep! Argh!

I need to smother the victim

With the pillow.

Whatever! Untie me

so I can pay you and be gone
before Bettylou gets here.

Oh, we've got plenty of time. She
couldn't be on time to her own funeral.

Let me go!

Argh!

Whuff!

You brought all
the money with you?

You think I'm an idiot.

Don't worry about paying me.

I'll grab the cash
on my way out.

Whuff!

I'm limiting exposure
to witnesses.

Whiff!

Argh!

The hit man's not
like the yard man.

He doesn't just go away
after the grass is mowed.

Argh!

Argh!

I'm ready to be
tied up Bettylou.

Oooo! Ahh! Four Eyes.

You know you're supposed
to tie me up first.

Eighteen a night.
Extra towels are extra.

Phone's not working.

Maybe the lightning zapped em.

Happens all the time.

Cell-phones around here
quit when it's raining.

Say!

You young ladies look like you could do with a
little something to take the edge off the storm.

Moonshine!

Cool.

Two dollars. Solid coin.

Zoe?

Plus eighteen for the room.

Solid coin. No Giga-Coin.

Can't register
ya'all till tomorrow.

If I can remember.

Don't worry about it.

Bad memory's part of my charm.

I love this little place.
It's like going back in time.

Pre-Liberation at least.

Like, in the old days when people
brought their men in here.

More of your deviant fantasies.

So! I'm deviant! You know,
I've always liked men.

Zoe! You don't like men.
You've never even seen a man.

Doesn't keep me
from liking them.

There aren't any men to
like. Men are extinct.

I like them anyway.

Men are the reason for all for the bad
things that have happened in the old world.

Men are evil.

We'll explore the
Pain Pleasure Paradox.

Pain...

Precedes pleasure.

Eighteen a night.
Extra towels are extra.

We're Agents of the Server!

Oh, oh, yes sirs!
How may I help you?

We need a room.

Well, I can give you a
discount. A very good discount.

I think you'll do better
that a discount Grandmother.

Yes sir! I can do better.

Rooms for Agents of the
Server are complementary.

Grandmother! You own this motel?

I'm Gamma Class. I
don't own anything.

Of course not. Your family might have
owned it. Back before the liberation.

It was in my family
when I was little girl.

That was a long time
ago, grandmother.

Back when there were... men.

You haven't aged
well grandmother.

You were supposed to
be repurposed at sixty.

I'm fifty-eight.
It's on the Server.

Sure!

The Server's down. We
can't review your file.

Sixty's the limit Grandma.

Please! I'm not that old.

Too bad grandma! So sad!

Looks like you've got some foil
under your phone Grandma huh?

Oh, sorry sir! The strap!
It, it was itching me.

Yeah, right! You were itching to
run down your cell-phone battery!

There are more interesting
things about grandmother.

Much more interesting that
the dead battery in her phone.

No sir! There's nothing
interesting about me.

Nothing interesting at all!

Sometimes Gamma Class Non-Persons
can be most interesting.

Don't you think Coppel?

Very interesting indeed.

No sir! There's
nothing about me.

I'm only a Gamma Class!
I'm not even a citizen.

I think we're going to find out just
how interesting Grandmother really is.

Grandmother knows
something interesting.

She may even know about
deviants staying here.

I think we need to
play a little game.

Let's take a walk!

Have a seat Grandma!

There's nothing to be afraid of.

The truth will set you free.

Don't you just love this Alice!

The Server doesn't
know where we are.

Like, it can't see
us or anything.

The Server protects us.

If something bad were to happen
to us the Server could send help.

Something did happen.

The Server went off-line.

When the Server does come up it'll see
we're not at the fertility clinic.

I wish the Server would
go off-line forever.

Zoe! That's blasphemous!

Alice, I don't want to get
pregnant at the fertility clinic.

Everybody wants to get pregnant
at the fertility clinic.

It's a privilege.

Getting impregnated with a
turkey baster is no privilege.

That's how people get pregnant.

Or... a man could love me.

That's ridiculous.
Men are obsolete,

Still off-line.

It's a book!

Whoa! It really is a book.

It's actually a book from
the old days of paper.

It's a Bible!

Playing Gin Rummy by
yourself Grandmother?

My little game, the truth game, is
much more entertaining than cards.

Much more entertaining.

Please! My file
is on the Server!

We can't access the Server.

However, we can
access the truth.

Unbutton your shirt grandma!

No! Please! No!

Put the wires on me.

Ms. Marx?

Please Penelope!
If you don't mind.

To do this property, you must
know exactly how it feels.

Hook me up!

Now, give it a crank.

I don't know Villa.

Crank it!

What was that supposed to be?

I don't want to hurt you.

Crank that thing!

Villa! Are you alright?

I'm becoming
impatient Lieutenant

Light me up! Now!

I'm afraid.

My dear sweet Penelope.

You really must get over that.

No one does it like I do it.

You need to get rid of that thing
before the Server sees you reading it.

Books are outlawed!

You need to turn that
thing into the authorities.

Maybe we can put it back in its
little hidey-hole where you found it.

Zoe! I thought you got
rid of that pencil.

The Server could have you repurposed
for playing around with that thing.

Chill out! The
Server can't see us.

I drew a picture of a man.

It looks like me!

Just in the face.

You gave me parts!

You gave me a dongle.

Well yeah! I've never
seen a real man.

It looks like...

A fish.

It didn't come out
exactly how I wanted.

When we left I time-lined all my friends
that we were going to be in Atlanta.

Everyone's going to
be worried about us.

All those friends on your page.

You know they don't give
a flying rat about you.

They wouldn't even notice
if you never posted again.

I'm telling you the truth!

It's all my fault grandmother. I just
haven't asked the right questions.

I'll tell you anything
you want to know.

I'm sure you will.

Do you have a man in here?

Like perhaps some old geezer who managed
to slighter away from the purge?

There's no extra doors
in here grandmother?

No escape tunnels?

So! The old man is
still in here with us!

Right under our noses!

A man?

Lieutenant! Your g*n please.

A true leader never asks her subordinate
to do something she wouldn't do herself.

Please! I'll do anything!

Betray the man!

Villa!

Villa!

Villa!

What!

What's your hurry
putting that thing on?

The battery. It
could use a charge.

It'll survive a little longer.

You know the Server can have us
repurposed for un-monitored intimacy.

Don't you just love how it
feels when we're totally alone?

Put your phone on.

No. It drains my life force.

Zoe!

I don't want it on me.

Stop. You're going to break it.

It's the Whisky!

You don't know what you're
doing.

Maybe.

Maybe I don't know
what I'm doing!

Death by broken heart.

How did you know about that man?

I can smell them.

Makes the hair on
my neck prick up.

You can smell them?

They're like rats.

Rats?

When you see one, there's
ten more you don't.

We need to check the
rest of the Motel rooms.

Agents of the
Server! Allow entry.

We're investigating criminal
activity in this district.

I did it! I broke
the cell-phone.

Destruction of Server property.

Second-level felony.

Move it lieutenant.

We're not here for this.

Whuff! What's happening?

Alcohol! A drunken
Beta Class Citizen.

What is it?

What are you people
doing to Alice?

Ms. Marx! I found this.

What is this trash?

This Beta Class Citizen was concealing
this contraband material, Sir.

Looks like

A fish.

There's no men in here.
This is a dry hole.

Men? In here?

The paper's not yours, sister.

Neither is the phone.

It's my phone.

She was lying to protect you.

They're both guilty.

Just sh**t them Coppel.

For only a second
level felony sir?

Well then

Just sh**t one of them.

Pull the trigger Lieutenant.

Now.

Now!