Mr. Boogedy (1986)

[bunniefuu]

I don't see why we
have to move to the middle of nowhere,

with a bunch of farmers
and cows and no cute boys...

First of all, Jennifer,
It's not the middle of nowhere.

It's the middle
of New England. (LAUGHING)

Secondly, not only
is this place beautiful,

but we'll be the only Gag City
franchise for hundreds of miles.

And best of all, Jennifer,
we're gonna have our own house.

-Our first very own house.
-Right.

Hey, Dad. Hey, Dad!
Corwin just swallowed a worm.

Oh, no,
was it a big, fat, juicy one

all covered in slime?

Yeah, and I think I'm gonna be
sick! (IMITATES RETCHING)

(ALL LAUGHING)

That's funny.
Plastic upchuck.

I've never seen
anything like it before.

CORWIN: Hey, Dad.
Are me and Ahri gonna get

our own bathroom
in the new house?

CARLTON: You bet, you are.
Both of you.

This is not only gonna be
the perfect town,

it's gonna be
the perfect house.

(HONKING)

(THUNDER RUMBLING)

All right!

As advertised,
definite fixer-upper.

(CHUCKLES)
Dad, let's go home.

This is home, sweetheart.

Do you think
it's haunted, Dad?

Of course not, son.

The realtor
would have told me if it was.

Isn't it great?

Come on, guys.

There's no such
thing as ghosts.

Let's go.

Whoa, whoa, whoa.

It's okay, it's okay.
Come on, come.

(DOOR CREAKING)

Oh, fantastic.

Oh, honey,
isn't this fantastic?

Hey, big place.

Lots of room
to stretch out.

Where we gonna
put the TV?

Daddy,
turn on the lights.

Where to put the TV?

Daddy, the lights.

Oh, the lights, right.
Where are the lights?

Here, Dad.
Brought you your flashlight.

Oh, good thinking, son.

Oh!
Wrong flashlight.

-Sorry, Dad.
-That's okay.

Carlton, over here.
I think I found a lamp.

CARLTON: Let's see.

(SCREAMING)

Oh, my gosh, look!

Don't point, honey.

(BOTH GASPING)

Oh, wow!

Wow.

How do you do,
Mr. Davis?

Witherspoon is my name.

Neil Witherspoon.

-(BUZZING)
-(GRUNTING)

Joy buzzers,
pretty great, huh?

I sell 'em by the carton.
(LAUGHING)

Very nice.

Expensive?

No, not at all.

Shall we turn on
the lights?

(DISTANT HOWLING)

I've a son your age.

He's unusual.

On behalf of the Lucifer
Falls Chamber of Commerce...

Chamber of Horrors
is more like it.

I'd like to
welcome you to our town...

And warn you to get out.

Before it's too late!

-Carlton...
-Now, now, Eloise.

Don't listen to him, Mom.

-He's just joking.
-Yeah.

Joking.

CARLTON: Neil?
Are you joking?

No jokes, Mr. Davis.

This house
has a tragic history.

You mean ghosts?

Wow.

Listen, I'd hate
to see anything...

(DISTANT HOWLING)

Evil...

Happen to you

or your family.

Well, I guess
I've heard enough.

I'll meet you guys out
by the truck.

Jennifer, old Neil
is just pulling your leg.

Isn't that right, Neil?

Well, thanks a lot
for the advice, Neil.

But I think
we'll be staying.

Whatever you say.

But, whatever you do,

I want you to keep an eye
out for the Boogedy Man.

Boogedy, boogedy,

boogedy, boo.

Okay, Neil.
We'll be watching for him.

Thanks a lot.
Don't ever change.

Okay, let's take a look around our new
home, what do you think, huh?

Corwin?

(WHISPERS) What?

Is there really
a Boogedy Man?

I don't know.

Are there ghosts?

Nah.

(CLATTERING)

(CREAKING)

Did you hear that?

Yes.

I think it's
in the basement.

Should we go
see what it is?

Okay.

(SIGHS)

(SWITCH CLICKS)

What a creepy place
to live.

I'll bet nobody here
ever heard of Bruce Springsteen.

(SNEEZING)

Corwin?

(SNEEZING)

Corwin, are you in there?

(CREAKING)

(SIGHS)

(THUD)

There it goes again.

Yep. There it goes.

(THUD)

There it goes again,
Corwin.

-Hey, Corwin.
-What?

Look, it's just his size.

Big deal.

(SOFT GROWLING)

Ahri, over here,
over here.

Find any ghosts, fellas?

-Nah.
-No.

Well, maybe you'll have
better luck tomorrow. Come on.

(BLOWING RASPBERRY)

Hey!
Where did he go?

Come on, Ahri.
It's getting late.

But Dad...

My fuzzy
teddy bear is gone.

Reginald Ernest Davis, move!

Come on.

Hi, honey.
Did you sleep well?

Not really.

What you need, Jennifer,
is a good breakfast.

Start the day off right.

That's right, Jennifer.

Eat the eggs.
(CHUCKLES)

(SCOFFS)
Rubber eggs, Daddy? Again?

Mmm-hmm. I told them
you'd know right away.

Really?

Gee, I thought
these were different.

They looked pretty good to me.
What do you think?

(SPRINKLING)

(LAUGHING)

(ALL LAUGHING)

Good one.

Like father, like son.

Do you think
this house could really be haunted?

-I sure do.
-Me too.

Daddy, I keep hearing
this sneezing...

Honey, people hear
lots of noises in old houses like this,

it doesn't mean
anything.

I'll tell you something,
we're all gonna feel a lot better

once we get
settled in.

Believe me.

There are no ghosts
in this house.

(SCREAMING)

Gag City.
(LAUGHING)

(SIGHS)

I'll get you for this,
Carlton.

Just kidding,
just kidding.

(CARLTON LAUGHING)

(SNEEZING)

(SNEEZING)

(SNEEZING)

Ahri?

Is that you?

Are you there?

(STUTTERING)
Anybody home?

(DOOR UNLOCKS)

(MANIACAL LAUGHTER)

Jennifer, honey?
Are you all right?

(GASPING)

What happened?

We found you
lying here, honey.

You were clicking
your heels together,

and all you would say is,
"There's no place like home.

"There's no place
like home..."

-I saw him! I saw him!
-CARLTON: Who?

The Boogedy Man!

His face!
It was all yucky

and like a grilled cheese
sandwich or something...

Wait a minute,
wait a minute, wait a minute, honey.

Wait a minute...

Look, look.

There's nobody here.
What... What Boogedy Man?

Look! It's his footprints!

AHRI: Wow!

Oh, that is strange.

-Slimy footprints.
-Ugh!

Careful, Carlton. You don't want to
get that on your pajamas.

Oh, boy.
These are great!

(LAUGHING)
Look at this. I can sell these.

I can. I can sell these.

Aren't they great?
Look, they stick to things.

I don't believe this...

Honey, shh.
It's gonna be all right, darling.

You know what?
You know what?

I bet Neil Witherspoon
set this up.

Huh, do you believe it?
Is this a great gag!

No, Daddy, it wasn't Neil.
It was the Boogedy Man.

Maybe you had
a nightmare, honey.

But, I saw him right here!

Did he have big teeth?

Was he gonna eat you?

Maybe he's planning to come back and
get her after she goes to sleep.

BOTH: Ooh.

All right, boys.
That's enough.

But Mom...

We're just trying
to help.

(WHISPERS) We are?

CARLTON: Honey!

Look!

The Boogedy Man
walked all over me.

Ah, isn't this great?

Ah, good one, Dad.

Come on, this is great stuff.
Look, they stick to things.

Look, come on, hey, you can stick
it right here on your face.

Isn't this great?

(BOTH LAUGHING)

(NERVOUS CHUCKLE)

Dad?

No wires.

-(WHIRRING)
-Ouch!

(WATER FLOWING)

(THUD)

(WHISTLING)

(MANIACAL LAUGHTER)

I don't believe this.

What do you think,
we should do?

Yeah, what do you think
we should do?

Dad doesn't even
believe in ghosts.

Yeah, Jennifer.

-Would you shut up?
-No.

Look, we're the only ones
who know what's going on.

It's up to us.

Let's go.

(SNORING)

Oh, great.
There's lots of help here.

(GASPING)

Who? Why?

Mr. Witherspoon?
What are you doing here?

What?
What am I doing here?

Ah, I work here.

(CHUCKLES)

What're you doing here?

Isn't this
the Historical Society?

Ah, yes, yes,
yes, yes, it is.

Yeah, we want to know
how come our house is haunted?

Ah, so that's it.

(CHUCKLES)

You want to know
about the house? I'll tell you.

Three hundred years ago...

Long before
any of us were alive...

A small group of Pilgrims

lived on this very spot.

They were a hard-working,
decent group of people.

Once in a while, of course,

they would enjoy
a good laugh... (LAUGHING)

Most of them, that is...

You see,
there was one exception.

William Hanover.

And he was a strange man.

Nobody liked him.

And everybody was
just a little bit afraid of him.

Ah, no,
it wasn't a good idea

to make jokes around
William Hanover.

Even little children
had to watch their step around him.

(SINGING) Here comes
Boogedy out the door

A one-eth
a two-eth, a three-eth a four...

Boogedy, boogedy, boo.

The children called him
Mr. Boogedy,

because he delighted
in scaring them.

Boogedy!

Boogedy, boogedy, boo.

(LAUGHING)

What a weirdo.

So, what happened next?

Well, hmm.
The women of Lucifer Falls

were hardly lining up
outside Mr. Boogedy's door.

But, you could
hardly blame them.

Boogedy, boogedy, boogedy.

Still, there was one person,
the beautiful Widow Marion,

who lived with her
sweet little boy, Jonathan...

Oh, good sisters.

Do you thinketh
he is really all that bad?

He tryeth.

I am sure that he tryeth.

I don't think so, Mother.

(LAUGHING)

Hanover fell in love
with Marion.

In fact, he wanted
to marry her.

She didn't, did she?

(LAUGHING)

She turned him down.

-All right.
-Oh!

But that wasn't
the end of it.

Not hardly...

Hanover was ready to
do anything,

I mean, anything,

to win the hand
of the widow, Marion.

After all, he was a man
of great power and authority.

Used to having his own way.

Some people say,
he sold his soul to the devil that night.

Sold his soul
for a magic cloak.

A cloak so powerful,
it would make him invincible.

A cloak so powerful,
he hoped

it might even give him
the Widow Marion!

(LAUGHING)

More than anything in this world,
he wanted Marion.

So one day when Marion's boy,
poor little Jonathan,

had a terrible cold
and was on his way to the doctor,

who should jump out of the woods
in his brand new magic cloak?

-Mr. Boogedy?
-Right!

And he took Jonathan

back to his house!

Then he threatened Marion,

that if she didn't
marry him,

if she didn't marry him
that very night,

she would never ever see
poor little Jonathan again.

And just to make sure
that she went along with all of this,

Mr. Boogedy decided to

cast his very first spell
with the magic cloak. (LAUGHING)

But, something happened.

What happened?

Ah, he blew up
his own house.

He blew up
his own house?

What a dope!

Just like magic.

The whole house disappeared.

(CHUCKLES)

And every house
that has been built on that site

has been haunted.

What happened to
Mr. Boogedy?

-And Jonathan?
-And Widow Marion.

They all became ghosts.

(CHUCKLES)

And poor Marion is still
trying to get her Jonathan back.

In fact, Jonathan
still has his cold.

-That's why I heard sneezing.
-Yeah.

That's a long time
to have a cold.

Well, no one ever said
being a ghost was easy.

So, what are we gonna do?

(CLICKS TONGUE) Well...

If it were me...

I'd move.

Mom, Dad.

Mom?

Dad?

(GRAVELLY VOICE)
Boogedy, boogedy, boo.

Hi, Dad.

Aw...

(SIGHS)
Nice try, Carlton.

These guys are
just too sharp for the old man, I guess.

I was scared, Daddy.

Thanks, sweetheart.

-Well...
-Dad, we gotta talk to you.

Your Mom and I
are doing inventory.

Come on,
you guys can help.

Dad, really,
we gotta talk to you.

I'm listening.
Oh, Eloise, Eloise.

Yeah.

Need a hand?
(LAUGHING)

(LAUGHING)

Oh, gosh, darn it!
Now look what I've done.

What a mess!

Daddy, we've got to
talk to you.

Oh, I know you do,
sweetheart.

But could you hand me
the hose from the vacuum first?

Thank you.

Uh, would you mind
turning it on, sweetheart?

(ELOISE LAUGHING)

Ah! Huh?

Don't you love it!

Daddy had it made special
just before we moved.

Daddy, we're trying
to talk to you.

Yeah, yeah,
I know, sweetheart. But wait.

Watch this, watch this.
You ready?

(ELOISE LAUGHING)

Is that great?

Okay. Go on. What is it?

Okay, We went to
the Historical Society...

Oh, no wait.

-Wait, wait.
-You've got to look at this, guys. Huh?

Isn't he great?

-(ELOISE LAUGHING)
-CARLTON: Huh?

Oh, gee whiz, I am sad
because I lost my mummy.

(BOTH LAUGHING)

(WHOOSHING)

(MANIACAL LAUGHTER)

Hey, good one.
Ooh, boy. What was that?

ALL: Ghosts!

Oh, yeah, sure.

So, how did you
guys do that?

-Daddy, please...
-Come on, Dad...

No, it's great, really.
I am not mad.

I just want to know
how you did it.

Dad, the house
is haunted.

(CHUCKLES) Haunted?

It's Mr. Boogedy.

Okay. (CHUCKLES)

Now, I don't know
how you guys are making those noises.

One thing I do know,
this house is not haunted.

(PIANO PLAYING)

(SCREECHING)

Whoa!

(MUSIC STOPS)

Well, that's it.
Time to call a realtor.

Eloise!
How can you say that?

Time to call a realtor.

No, no,
but you mean, move?

I think we ought
to go right now.

No, it's late,
the boys are tired.

BOTH: We're not tired!

I'm not spending another
night in this house. It's full of ghosts!

No, wait, wait.
Relax, everybody.

I have got an idea.
Uh, sleeping bags.

We have sleeping bags.
Uh, we'll camp out!

CORWIN: Dad, can you
tell us a story?

CARLTON: Okay, sure.
Let's see.

It was a dark
and stormy night.

The spooky old house
was filled with shadows.

Crawling, slimy,

creepy things.

(HOWLING)

Suddenly there was a noise.

(THUD)

It sounded like, like...

(SCREAMING)

Daddy!
What are you doing?

Well, you're supposed
to tell scary stories

when you're sitting around
the old campfire, darling.

Yeah, Jennifer.

But this isn't
the old campfire.

It's the old fireplace,

and we're sitting on the floor of
this stupid old haunted house,

and any minute some dumb
ghost is going to come up and...

(SCREAMING)

Oh, my... Corwin!

Corwin, I'm gonna k*ll you.

-All right, all right.
-That's it, come on.

Carlton, let's just
not have any more talk about ghosts.

Okay, guys.
Mom has spoken.

Time to hit the hay,
let's go.

Oh, shucks.

-Let's go, let's go.
-Come on, Ahri.

Everybody in bed.

Come on, in your bags.

Slippers off, Corwin.
Good one, son.

(GRUNTS SOFTLY)

(LAUGHING)
Just kidding. Just kidding.

(SIGHS)

(THUDDING)

(THUDDING CONTINUES)

Is somebody
tap-tap tapping at my window?

(THUDDING)

Are you a ghost?

Yes.

Oh, dear.

(SIGHS)

Well, would you
like to come in or...

Have a cup of coffee?

(SOBBING)

Is it something
about coffee, dear?

Something that's
painful for ghosts. About coffee?

I cannot enter your home.

Well, yes, you can.
You certainly can. If I invite you.

-Mr. Boogedy preventeth me.
-He preventeth you?

How dareth he?

He hath kept me from my son
for over years.

You are Widow Marion.

-Yes.
-Oh, well, this is a pleasure.

Because the children
told us all about you.

Oh, please,
you must come in. You must.

You don't understand.

As long as Mr. Boogedy
dwells within

the magic that
keepeth him there

also keepeth me out.

And apart from my Jonathan.

-(SOBBING)
-Ooh.

I don't believe it, Mom.

You actually went out there
all by yourself.

-Yeah.
-What did she look like?

Did she have fangs and stuff,
like a vampire?

With lots of gooky
stuff oozing out of her face?

She was a very
nice woman, Ahri.

And she misses
her little boy very, very much.

This is terrible, Eloise.

Just awful.

We have to do
something about this.

Yeah, Mom.

What did the ghost lady
tell you to do?

We have to get rid
of Mr. Boogedy.

Get rid of his cloak.

Come on!
Okay, be real quiet, guys.

Maybe we can
sneak up on him.

Do you think
this is wise, dear?

What if he blows us up?

Wait a minute.

We can't just
give up like this.

Yes, we can, Dad.

Come on,
this is important.

Come on, come on.

(THUD)

Dad.

Ahri?

Uh, did anybody leave
a weird green light on in that room?

Mmm-mmm.

I didn't think so.

Must be Mr. Boogedy.

-Daddy, be careful.
-Careful, Carlton.

Don't worry, Eloise.

I'll talk to him.

Oh, yeah, that's good, Carl.

Talk to him.

Oh, boy! This I got to see.

Dad is gonna negotiate
with Mr. Hamburger Face.

Ahri?

Ahri.

(KNOCKING ON DOOR)

-Boogedy, we're coming in now.
-But it's just to talk.

Well...

(SIGHS) He tricked us.

Ahri.

Ahri, are you down there?

Ahri.

AHRI: Stop, stop!

(SCREAMING)

AHRI: No, stop it.
BOY: Get off of me.

-AHRI: Come on!
-Ahri.

AHRI: Come on, give him here!

BOY: Ow, let go!
AHRI: You're hurting him!

AHRI: Don't do this to him!

Oh, no!

He's my fuzzy teddy
bear! He's mine!

Hey! Cut it out!

He stole my fuzzy
teddy bear, Corwin.

No, I didn't.
I just borrowed him.

Ahri, do you know
who this is?

Yeah. He's the guy who stole
my fuzzy teddy bear.

Ahri, this is Jonathan.

The ghost.

(CRACKLES)

Wow.

He feels like one of
Dad's joy buzzers.

(SNEEZES)

He sneezed on him!

I'm sorry.
I didn't mean to take him.

I was just lonely
for a friend.

Hey, wait.

Here.

But not for keeps.

And don't sneeze on him.

-Come on.
-(CRACKLES)

...and Mr. Boogedy
scared them away, too.

They were lucky to
leave this house.

Wow.

Me and Corwin will
be your friends.

-You will?
-AHRI: Sure we will.

-And you know what?
-What?

Corwin will beat up Mr. Boogedy so you
can go back to your mom.

Ahri, I can't do that.

AHRI: Why?

CORWIN: Because...
AHRI: Oh, Corwin.

(MR. BOOGEDY SNARLING)

-What's the matter?
-Quick! Run! It's him!

-Who?
-Mr. Boogedy!

Be careful, Ahri.

If he gets you,
he could keep you here forever!

Come on, let's go.

(MR. BOOGEDY SNARLING)

Dad! He's coming!

He's coming!
He's coming!

You're downstairs.
I've been looking all over for you.

What? Who, who?

-What are you talking about?
-Come on, Dad, he's coming!

Calm down.
Who is coming?

KIDS: Mr. Boogedy!

-Where?
-Come on, Dad. Let's go!

I think Jennifer
has a point, dear.

What is that?

It's him!
He's coming!

He's here!

-Okay.
-Look!

(MANIACAL LAUGHTER)

ELOISE: Let's go!

This is it!
We're ready!

(LIGHTNING CRACKLING)

Ugh!

(EVIL LAUGHTER)

Look here, Boogedy.
Don't you think this, uh,

this haunting business
has gone far enough?

Boogedy! Boogedy!

Okay. So you don't
want to talk, fine.

Uh, but this is our house,

and we're not leaving,
so forget it.

-Whoops!
-Boogedy, boogedy, boogedy!

Ahri, come on.

(THUNDER RUMBLING)

(LAUGHS)

Ahri, look.

You blow some
of this at him,

-and I'll go grab his cloak.
-Okay.

(MR. BOOGEDY LAUGHING)

Boogedy!

Corwin, don't!

Hey, Mr. Boogedy!

Eh?

Ah!

(GROANS)

(SNEEZES)

(LAUGHS)

MR. BOOGEDY: Whoo...

Whoa!

Corwin!

Help, Dad!

Corwin! You let my
brother down, you creep!

CARLTON: Okay. I'm coming!

Help, Dad. Get me
down from here!

I'm going up, hurry!

Okay. Let go.
I got you.

Ow! I can't,
my hands are stuck.

(LAUGHS)

Okay, hang on.
I'll get you, Corwin.

CORWIN: Hurry!

Boogedy!

Help me down.
Hurry up.

CARLTON: All right, Corwin.

My hands are stuck.
I can't get down.

-Coming.
-Why you...

(SHOUTING)

You stop it!
You stop it now!

(GROWLS)

Boogedy!

Uh-oh.

(MR. BOOGEDY LAUGHING)

AHRI: Whoa!

CORWIN: Ahri,
get out of there!

Run, Ahri.

Ahri, run!

Oh, no!

Help, somebody!

Get away!

Dad, get me down from here!

Give me back my cloak,
you miserable monster!

(GROANING)

(SCREAMING)

What have you done to me?

(GROWLS)

Where are you going, Dad?

-Wow.
-Way to go, Ahri.

My son.

Corwin, be careful.

Boogedy, boogedy, boo!

Wow.

-Jonathan!
-Momma!

That's Widow Marion.

BOYS: That's Jonathan.

Oh, thank you.

Thank you so much.

Ahri.

You were very
brave, Ahri.

I knew you could do it.

(SNEEZES)

Here you go, son.

Thank you.

(SNEEZES)

Gee, Mom, do you think
they'll be okay?

Oh, yes. I'm sure
they will, darling.

Well, I guess we got rid
of those ghosts, huh, Dad?

Yep. Got rid of those
ghosts, huh, Dad?

You bet we did.
Absolutely.

Besides as we all know,
there are no such things as ghosts.

MR. BOOGEDY:
You want to bet!

Just kidding.
Just kidding.

-(LAUGHS)
-Carl.

(EVIL LAUGHTER)