Monster Family (2017)

[bunniefuu]

Hot, hot, hot! Ow, sun, sun.

Oh, no.

Okay, then. On your marks.

It's not unusual to be

loved by anyone

It's not unusual to have

fun with anyone

If you should ever want

to be loved by anyone

It's not unusual to find

that I'm in love with you

...pathetic.

I'm just a bat, myself.

Stop it.

I am the Prince of Darkness.

I do not do cuddly!

...right there in front of everybody,

"Keep the car, it'll be worth it"...

I'm sorry.

No, not worth it to "ow".

Worth it to get rid of her.

Quiet! What is that noise?

Do you hear that?

Oh, it's me.

It's my pocket vibrating.

Hello?

Er, hello?

Oh, hi. I want your teeth.

Excuse me?

- Your fake vampire teeth. You see...

...I've been looking everywhere.

You are my last hope.

I can assure you, madam,

I may be getting on in years...

...but my teeth

are very much my own.

This is 'Vampires R Us'?

The costume store?

This is Dracula.

Who?

Dracula.

The Prince of Darkness.

No? The Bat Out Of Hell.

The Scourge of Transylvania.

King of bats.

Okay... Dracula.

I'm hanging up now.

Stop! No, please don't hang up.

Please.

Er, why not?

It's...

...it's just so nice to finally have

someone to talk to.

Are you lonely?

So, so very lonely.

Well, we could chat some more

if you want?

I would like that very much.

What's your name,

fair maiden?

Emma. Emma Wishbone.

Well, Emma Wishbone, maybe...

...it was fate itself

that brought us together.

Are you alright?

I'm sorry, that was lame.

Hello? Hello, Emma?!

- Oh, come back!

Hello? I can barely hear you.

Great. Now I get to buy a

new phone I can't afford.

Off, you stupid thing!

Emma Wishbone

Renfield!

Find me Emma Wishbone.

And I will make her my wife.

And bring in my washing.

I think it's going to rain.

Do you know what today is not,

Cheyenne?

Your day?

Precisely.

Darling, you say that every day.

Yes, but today, instead of calling a

costume store, I ended up talking to Dracula.

And because of that,

my phone fell into the drain.

Who did you speak to?

Just some weirdo.

Why do these things keep happening?

Let me relax you with a massage.

It's as if there's a curse

on this entire family.

Max is having a hard time at school

and the shop is in decline.

Max, show us your experiment.

Fellow classmates, I present you -

the Solar System.

Our group of planets

orbit the magnificent Sun.

It burns at

27 million degrees Fahrenheit.

But one day, in around

five billion years time...

...the Sun will start to cool

and the Earth will be plunged...

...into a deadly ice age.

The whole planet will be covered with ice.

And all life will end.

Any questions?

Yeah. How do you wanna die?

My daughter Fay...

...desperately wants to be

a grown-up.

"I'm the only one for you"

"Because I only love me

I only love me"

Fay, if you fancy this guy so much,

why not talk to him?

He only goes for model material.

"I only love me on my own."

- That is just so cool. - Awesome.

Is it something new of yours?

- Yes...

You're really pretty, Fay.

- Sure. Didn't you see my last magazine cover?

Well then, see you tonight,

ladies.

Oh, no, Sheila,

he's coming over here.

So you smile then say 'Hi'.

- That's way too complicated.

No, all you need is a push.

Well that's one way of meeting.

What's your name?

Er, Girdl.

You're called Girdl?

Flmm.

Flmm?

Flam.

Okay, Flam.

Do you feel like

getting off me now?

- Oh, Fay.

- Yeah, sure.

Earth to Fay.

- We're looking for...

...some pretty girls for our new video.

And we're sh**ting it tonight.

So?

- So, you're a pretty girl.

I am?

- See you tonight.

Flam.

He thinks I'm pretty.

Isn't that your brother over there?

- Brother? Who?

Oi, get back here, you geek!

And Frank,

Frank is never home.

Wishbone, I want these

loan applications by tomorrow.

But I wanted to be home on

time today to see my family.

You love your family?

- Yeah, of course.

Then avoid getting fired!

Leaving them with absolutely

nothing to eat.

What is that?

- Stress gives me wind.

Sorry, guys.

- Come on, Frank!

Smells like something crawled

inside you and died.

And now I can't even find

vampire teeth for my costume.

I just wanted us to do

something as a family again.

We used to have so much fun.

Dressing up, going to parties.

Look what I've found.

Where did you get them?

- Charity shop.

Used teeth.

Just one careful owner.

What's wrong?

- I just wish we had a party to go to.

You mean like this?

Monster Costume Party.

- Wow.

Cheyenne, this is perfect!

My family will love it!

When was the last time

we did something fun together?

Don't know, don't care.

One year, nine months

and 23 days ago.

So we've got some

catching up to do.

I've got to get ready for my date.

And I need to catch up on cold fusion.

I've got work to do.

But I've already made

the costumes, see?

My baby don't care for rings

Or other expensive things

My babyjust cares...

for me

My babyjust cares for me

My dear old friend, what would you say

if I offered you your freedom?

Release me?

If you can still perform

your transformation spell.

I can.

My amulet.

By fire, by light,

by all things bright!

Here, prove it on this.

Don't we look great?

Mum, you're really embarrassing.

No matter...

No matter what I do,

you think I'm embarrassing.

When I put on make-up, I'm embarrassing.

When I don't, I'm embarrassing.

When I wear a miniskirt, I'm embarrassing.

- No, then you're not embarrassing.

I'm not?

You're just really sad.

Well I think mum is beautiful.

- Don't be so scared all the time.

I'm not scared.

If you stood up for yourself,

you wouldn't get beaten up.

Are you being bullied at school?

I'd rather be a suck-up

than fail my exams.

You're failing your exams?

Don't hit your brother!

Fay!

- You didn't say anything about kicking.

Violence is the last refuge of the incompetent.

- Dictionary mouth.

Frank, can you say something?!

- What? Something.

Well you did ask, Mum.

Don't you get smart, Max.

- Too late.

Frank!

You will transform

this woman into a vampire.

But, Dracula, you are.

Why not simply bite her yourself?

If I bite her,

she will lose her soul.

And her soul is exquisite.

Difficult spell this is,

on humans.

Will only work

if the person is unhappy.

Wow, a red carpet.

This really looks like

my kind of party.

- There you are.

- Hi.

We're here for the party.

- Yeah, I know, dear. Follow me.

This way

- Okay.

I have them.

- Wow...

...we're really getting the VIP treatment.

Good job, Mum.

- Didn't I tell you it would be fun?

Let's rock.

And where exactly is here?

What sort of party is this?

Oh, and why are we on a stage?

Why are we the only ones

wearing costumes?

They think we're the band.

Okay, then, we can do this.

Silent night, Holy night,

All is...

Imposters!

I have a feeling that Emma is

very, very unhappy.

Then enchant her, I can.

Excellent.

And fix this before you go.

Hm? Ach.

I need a holiday.

Well that was less than ideal.

- Why don't you talk like a regular person?

Can't you just be nice to

your brother?

It's the last thing

I feel like doing.

I'm sorry.

- That was totally humiliating,

and it's all your fault.

- It was an accident.

No-one wanted to come on your

stupid family outing.

Well I wanted to study.

You are so ungrateful.

Hey, come on,

don't shout at the kids.

Finally, he wakes up!

Can you to drive us home

before you fall asleep again?

Yeah. I'm just working so hard.

- And I'm not?!

Well, I wouldn't exactly call

making these costumes 'hard work'.

I hate that my daughter

does nothing but insult me.

And I hate that my kids

are always fighting.

And I hate that my husband

just sleeps through it all.

Work it will, my transformation spell.

So very unhappy, you are.

Perceptive, you are.

Help, Baba Yaga will.

Really? How?

- By cursing you.

What? Sorry?

By fire, by light,

by all things bright.

Yeah. Now, dear, don't

you have a cat somewhere...

...that needs feeding?

Or something?

Great, now it's gonna be raining.

By day, by night...

I really think we're witnessing

actual magic.

That's impossible.

- Do you have another explanation?

Not really.

You will be transformed tonight!

Why won't they come off?

Hold on, I'll help you.

Get off!

Not the nicest way to treat

your brother.

Max?

I'm hairy.

All over.

Dad?

Oh, that's dad.

What have you done

to my family?

Opala. Actually, I only wanted

to transform you.

If everyone is transformed,

then everyone must be unhappy.

I'm transformed?

- See for yourself.

I'm an ugly old witch!

No, that's me.

You've now become

a reflectionless vampire.

I'm a, I'm a vampire?

Yes.

Disappear, pronto!

Where did she go?

Some time, this might take.

Come back here.

Disappear, pronto!

Curse it.

Amulet not fully charged.

Okay, Emma, last year

you went to the gym...

...twice!

Wow, it really paid off.

I'm coming,

you old witch!

Baba Yaga, you won't catch.

Oh, really? How do you know?

In tea leaves,

I have read.

Must have been a typo.

He-he, capture yourself, you have.

Just practising for when

I catch you.

Out of way!

Move, stupid birds!

Watch your step!

Who leaves their laundry out this late?

Disappear, pronto!

We really need to talk flossing.

Get back here!

Disappear, pronto!

Disappear, pronto!

Unhappy woman

not giving up.

So how's that disappearing spell

working for you?

Big, big power needed

for big, big magic.

Amulet must recharge at place

of great spiritual energy.

Oh, great. We'll come with you and

you can transform us back.

Sorry, sweetie.

Alone I travel

...to Oculus Londra

Ocula what?

Oculus Londra.

Not only is this not my day...

...it is also not my night.

Not Londra, this is.

Never working,

this piece of rubbish.

Useless, you are.

Still long way to travel.

Where are the kids?

Uffta.

What?

- Uffta.

Frank, you still know who I am,

don't you?

Uffta.

No, I'm Emma.

Memma?

- Yes. Your wife.

Uffta?

Good to see that something

hasn't changed.

I think I might be in with a

real chance here. Mustn't blow it.

Renfield!

Go and pack my things...

...I'm going to meet my future bride.

Very funny.

He passes Kobe Bryant...

...leaves LeBron James in the dust.

And he scores! Yeah!

Don't eat me.

I've just had chilli

I'll go right through you.

Help me!

Not so nice being scared, is it?

You, you can speak?

Nothing gets past you, genius.

No. No, my trousers...

No...

It's me, Fay.

Who?

- Flamm?

That costume really isn't the look

we're going for...

...in the music video.

- It's not a costume.

I'm a mummy.

Some crazy witch has cursed

my whole family.

Okay, someone's had way too

much Halloween candy.

Here, touch me.

See for yourself.

Wow, that's so...

You're so... mouldy.

You've got to help me.

You know I would but

I've got like a ton of homework.

You think I'm disgusting,

don't you?

No. You're great.

You're the best looking decaying corpse

I've ever seen.

Yeah, well, you're not

so hot either.

Fay?

Max?!

Are you here?

Careful. Watch, watch your...

...head.

- Moobid ming.

You really don't wanna break that,

it was a present from your mother.

I always thought it was ugly anyway.

Mum? Dad? Is that you?

Mummy!

Oh, Max.

Okay, that's new.

Fay, are you okay...

...sweetie?

Don't you dare "sweetie" me.

This is all your fault!

- What?

If you hadn't made us wear these stupid

costumes, we wouldn't be in this mess.

Look, we're gonna find the witch...

...and I'll make her change us back.

I promise.

And how are you gonna do that?

Look her up online?

She said she was going to somewhere

called Oculus Londra.

Ocula whatnow?

- Yes, that's just what I said.

Oculus Londra means

London Eye.

That's a big Ferris Wheel in London.

So the witch wants to go

on a Ferris Wheel?

I've read at school that the London Eye is

built on an ancient magical site.

The witch must be going there to

recharge her powers.

So we're going to London?

Moliday.

Oh, this is no way Londra.

Disappear, pronto!

That is some serious

spiritual reshaping.

Tell me about it.

I just coughed up

a fur ball.

Thanks for taking us to the airport, Cheyenne.

- No problem.

Life is a journey and I like

to travel in style.

I'm really glad

dogs are colour blind.

Five, four, three...

This is not Londra.

Disappear, pronto!

Fay, we will find the witch,

I promise

It's not just that.

Finally a boy thought

I was pretty and now...

...he can't even look at me.

- Beauty doesn't last.

It doesn't matter what anyone

else thinks, Fay.

You have to know yourself

how special you are.

You don't need other people

to tell you.

I remember feeling like that.

Never mind.

I'm gonna get you there.

Here we go!

Mind out!

Off we go.

- No, stop.

What are you doing?

- You can't go out there.

It's daylight.

- So? - You're a vampire.

You'll burn up.

- But I've got to get on that plane.

Well, there are legends

that say vampires with souls...

...might be able to survive

contact with the sun.

Well, great. Let's go.

But they're only legends.

Who knows if they're true?

Well, I guess there's only

one way to find out.

No, Mum, don't!

Oh...

Well, I guess that answers

that question.

Thank you, magnificent sun, for not

burning my dear friend to a crisp.

Mum? What if I said I might

not want to be changed back?

I like people being scared of me.

- Oh, darling, I know what you mean.

Are you nuts? I look like a 3,000 year

old meatloaf and dad is a...

...gigantic farting idiot!

Okay, that's not so new.

- Fay!

I'm just saying, if you two

back out now...

...it's totally unfair!

Nobody is backing out.

Max, right now you think it's great that

people are scared of you.

But scary people are lonely because

nobody wants to be around them.

Which fortune cookie did you read that in?

- Quiet, Fay.

Everyone act naturally.

How can I...

...be of assistance?

- Go on.

Hello.

Five tickets to London, please.

Actually, that's four people

and a dog.

He travels everywhere with us.

This little one is part of the family.

Isn't that right, Buster?

Of course.

And why is Mr Wishbone two feet

taller than stated here?

Growth hormones. In the meat.

Don't you watch the news?

- And what's going on...

...with your daughter?

Acne. Puberty, you know.

Very severe case.

And what about you?

- Me? Oh, yes,

I've been performing in

"Dracula, the Musical" in London.

I thought I'd get into costume now

and save time.

Very impressive.

The dog will definitely have to travel...

...in the hold with the luggage.

Do you have a cage for it?

Mum, I don't want to

travel with the luggage.

Don't worry, Max.

I mean Buster.

That was me.

I'm a ventriloquist.

Hello there, madam,

I'm a dog. Give me a biscuit, please.

If you could just bear with me

for one second.

Security, we've got

a bit of a problem.

I can't look like this

for the rest of my life.

We have to get to London,

find the witch...

...so that she can make us

human again.

You have to let us on that plane.

You have to.

Hello?

No problem. And I'll upgrade you

to First Class.

Here you go, your tickets.

- Thank you.

Let's go, Frank.

Have a good flight.

Didn't I tell you that

everything would be fine?

I have no idea what just happened

- You can hypnotise people.

It's just like in. 'The Curse Of The Mummy'.

- Really?

Mummy,

I need a bigger allowance.

Don't even think about it,

young lady.

I would try that with dad.

Look, girls...

...that's what happens when

you over-exfoliate.

You are all big stupid monkeys.

And she has got a banana.

Fay!

Mum, if I have to look like this...

...at least let me have some fun.

Mocolate.

Chocolate for everyone!

Fay, stop this immediately.

Come on, Mum, this is much better

than an in-flight movie.

What's wrong?

- I'm just...

...I'm just so hungry.

So eat this.

- No.

How about tomato juice?

Okay. Who are you

and what's going on?

Does the name...

..."The Prince Of Darkness"...

...ring any bells?

I, well...

I am Dracula.

Dracula?

How did you get on this plane?

I could not wait to meet you,

my thorny rose.

And now, my dear,

to the matter in hand.

Well, in your hands,

actually.

Drinking the blood of humans

is such a messy affair...

...and considered quite common

these days.

Not to mention the matter of

disposing of the leftovers.

Leftovers?

- Come with me.

Come with you?

- To where you belong.

To my castle.

- But... but I, I...

I can't leave my

family behind.

Would you rather stay and drain these

people of their life-force...

...in order to quench your

insatiable thirst?

No.

I'll come with you.

- I hoped you might.

This place is not being Londra either.

Disappear, pronto!

Forgive the mask, I'm not overly

fond of the sun.

I know, how about

a parachute?

Parachutes

are for wimps.

Just out of interest,

where are we flying?

Towards our future together.

Call me pampered but...

...I like to travel in style.

Memma?

She was right here.

- Where's she gone?

Hey, give me that.

Come on. Jump.

You can do it if you try.

That's gonna be handy.

A little jest.

Only I can do that.

This is a bit sudden, don't you think?

Your lunch.

What on earth is this?

I want blood, not a pill.

Trust me, Emma.

- But how can I trust you? You're Dracula.

That's why only I know what you need.

Yes, it's an acquired taste.

It's working.

I'm changing back.

Why are you helping me?

You're the first person

in a thousand years...

...who has lifted my melancholy.

- That's so sad.

No, because you have

been worth the wait.

Finally there's someone who can

understand me and share my life.

Romantically.

A vampire wife.

Wait, did you send that

witch after us?

Witch? No, I don't know any witches.

Do they even really exist?

I want to get back

to my family.

Do they really make you happy?

Well... sometimes.

"Sometimes" is nowhere near enough

for you, my darling.

You deserve to be happy "always".

I will devote myself to...

...showing you a life beyond

your wildest dreams.

Our home would be

my castle.

But we will travel...

...to the most romantic places.

I will give you this world...

...and worlds beyond.

It could be wonderful.

Can your husband offer you anything

like that?

We did play Scrabble on a Tuesday night

last May for no particular reason.

Then what are you waiting for,

my love? Follow your heart to me.

Oh. I...

...I have to get back to my family.

You would choose

to be unhappy?

No. But when you're a mother,

you have to take the good with the bad.

Well if you're that sure,

don't let me keep you.

You could have just called me a cab!

If mum doesn't show up here...

- ...we might never see her again.

Emma will be fine, guys.

Relax.

Tai chi with me. I call this one...

'Chicken Flies Into The Soup'

Mum?

Memma.

Coming!

Mummy!

I really need to practise that.

You're back!

- We thought we'd never see you again.

I'm fine. It's okay.

Memma. Memma. Memma.

Gently, gently, gently.

So what's with the disappearing act?

Did you ever think of

calling your family?

Yes, we were really worried.

Where have you been?

It wasn't that easy.

Dracula has a way...

...of hypnotising you.

- Dracula, the vampire?

No, Dracula, the hair stylist.

So, is he handsome?

Like in the films?

Mammsome?

He's kind of looking for love.

Mmove?

Renfield!

Prepare Operation Ice Age.

If I can't have love,

then no-one can.

I will eliminate all

life on Earth.

Oh and tell Baba Yaga...

...I have something

particularly nasty planned for her...

...if she doesn't destroy

this 'happy family'...

...immediately!

This not Londra.

Hi.

Disappear, pronto!

Mig Men.

Big Ben.

Mig Men.

It's the witch.

Oculus wrong again.

- Get her!

This is Londra.

There's no way I'm jumping

in after her.

Of course not,

scaredy-cat.

Oh, could you please stop arguing

just for once.

Oh, no, not this

crazy magic again.

What is she doing?

Is she going to change us back?

It's about time.

Let's go.

Change us back

so we can fly home.

No, do I will not.

Fully charged, my amulet is.

Now finish my task,

I can.

So Baba Yaga free can be,

at last.

No.

Stay here,

you little piece of...

Enough, messed up my work,

you have.

By air, by sky.

Now you will fly...

...to Egypt!

Curse it again, all of them I've hit.

- No...,

...not all of them.

So who thinks the evil witch

just tricked us?

That would probably explain why

we're now in Egypt.

This is not a problem.

We are getting out of this desert and

finding that witch.

And how do you think

we should do that?

I haven't worked that out yet

but, come on...

...we're a family.

We can do anything.

Follow me! We're getting out

of this desert.

Bring back my friend.

- Never.

You run fast

for an old crone.

Disappear, pronto!

Not cool.

My amulet.

Got it!

Hold on.

Take my hand!

- Trust you, why should I?

Because I'm one of

the good guys.

Imprison me, Dracula did,

for a thousand years.

The more I hear about that guy,

the less I like him.

And then freedom,

he promised me,

if I did his evil bidding.

- So now...

...will you turn the

Wishbones back?

Do that, only they

themselves can.

Really? But how?

Only when happy they are...

...human they

will become again.

Well, I guess they'd

better get used...

...to being monsters.

Renfield!

The fate of the world...

...rests in my hand.

The innocent snowflake...

...engineered into

a deadly weapon.

Behold what this tiny flake...

...alone can achieve.

Now imagine billions

of these flakes...

...pressed together into

an icy sphere.

With that I will destroy

the Sun itself.

And the Earth will be plunged

into a deadly ice age.

Mum?

Mummy! I found footprints.

Footprints?

Well, we just have to follow them

and we're saved.

- Uffta.

- Uffta.

Mummy...

- Yes?

- These are our own footprints.

Oh...

Mhat?

- Everything will be okay.

How? Look around.

We're in a giant,

enormous sandpit!

You're making it sound

as if this is my fault.

Well, you are the one who gave the

amulet back to the evil witch.

Everything always has to be your way...

...and we just have to deal with it.

You don't actually think I'm good

at anything, do you?

No. Well you're great at making us look

hideous and completely monstrous.

You know how to ruin our lives

better than anyone.

And I'm gonna be smelly

and ugly for ever!

Why can't I have a daughter

who is nice...

...who doesn't beat up her brother

who doesn't flunk school...

...and who doesn't make me feel

like an actual monster?!

I'm so very sorry, sweetie.

Then maybe you should find another daughter.

- Fay. Come back!

I'm counting to three.

One, two...

three...

87...

88...

89...

I don't think she's coming back.

Max, I'm sorry, but that really

doesn't help at all.

Oh, great. Fay's not here

so you're yelling at me.

I'm through with this family.

I'm a lone wolf now.

Max, I'm counting to three.

One...

two...

741...

742...

Oh...

Why is it whenever I need

you most, you stand there and...

...don't say a word?!

- Uffta?

Well it's too late to start now.

- Uffta?

I can't deal with this any more!

Just go away! Move!

Uffta.

Memma.

We're better off apart.

Emma has left her family.

I might have just been given

a second chance.

I'm going to fly

back to my Emma!

Renfield,

pause Operation Ice Age.

Oh, I'm so hungry.

I need blood.

Dinner time.

And just when you think things

can't get any weirder...

You are trespassing in my desert.

...you meet a talking whirlwind.

Nobody enters my...

Welcome to Egypt...

...beautiful creature.

Here it's hot.

Finally some shade.

Cut it out.

I don't need a haircut.

No-one messes

with Weremax!

Melp.

Melp.

Whose great idea was it

to have a...,

...fashion photo sh**t

in the desert?

Girls.

I say.

Come a little closer, honey

Come to me

Whoa!

Gosh,

you surely startled us.

What are you doing out

here all alone?

Are you alright, dear?

You look a little pale.

And you look delicious.

My darling needs me and

here I am.

May I?

Oh, my, what a man.

Come a little closer, honey

Come to me

am Pharaoh Imhotep.

You're Johnny Depp?

- Im-h*-tep!

Oh, okay, great and sandy one.

You are very beautiful.

Me? - I have lived

for more than 3,000 years...

...and in all that time I have

met no-one as beautiful as you.

Come, let me show you

the true power of the mummy.

You, too, can do this.

Yeah.

You simply have to wish it.

So nice.

- Uffta!

Welcome home.

Wow. Are you sure

you've got enough room?

Would you give me

the honour...?

Hold tight!

Stay with me, Emma

and make me the happiest...

...immortal plasma-dependent

fiend on Earth.

Hey, anything on four legs

stays on a lead!

Who's on four legs?

Hi.

It's okay,

I won't hurt you.

Scary people are lonely because

nobody wants to be around them.

Wow, this is amazing!

Welcome to my home.

For thousands of years...

...I have waited for a woman

like you.

One who is special.

One whose beauty shines brighter...

...than the sun.

One with whom I can...

conquer the world.

Er, conquer the world?

I'm a lazy boy

I watch the sun shine

Lighting up

the peerless peaceful sea

Moliday!

Ladies.

Uffta?

I'll take it from here, girls.

You're certainly taking your time

to decide, my love.

That's going to hurt

in the morning.

So, darling,

will you be mine?

They're better off without me.

I accept.

Then I am more happy than

any man living or dead

...has reason to be. Renfield!

Show my fiance to her chamber.

And prepare my Lazarus bath.

I think I'm starting to

sag a little.

Now that we have finally

found each other...

...we have the immense power

to rule the world like gods.

No-one will disobey

our commands.

And all will worship your divine,

immeasurable beauty.

I don't think so.

Do not contradict me.

Will if I want to. No way you can force me.

- Oh, yes, I can.

Oh, you sound exactly

like my mother.

You still have much to learn.

Education is not really

my thing. So bye.

This is mine?

Renfield is such a chatterbox.

What a mattress!

Why was I always so strict?

I'm a lazy boy

I watch the sun shine

Lighting up

the peerless peaceful sea

More.

Help!

Melp?

Meow.

Dad.

I think you might need

a little mirror time.

I, I, I can't...

...I can't

be seen like...

...this.

Beauty doesn't last.

Now that I've found you,

I will not let you go.

I'm not going to let you take

over the world.

You must come with me.

Who else will accept you...

...looking like you do?

It doesn't matter what anyone

else thinks, Fay.

It doesn't matter what

I look like.

It matters

who I am inside.

If you will not come

with me willingly...

...I will force you.

Ow!

Leave my sister alone.

Die!

Hm?

Thanks for trying to save me.

That was really brave.

You're welcome. And we really need to

talk about your choice of boyfriend.

Uffta. Mash.

Okay, he is way scarier

than I am.

Mash! Immommebb.

You know I only have cucumbers

in my bath!

Although drowned bats are

a welcome addition.

You!

Be cool.

She's on our side.

- What?

True, it is.

- I've fallen for your lies far too many times.

We can trust her. She brought

me here to you, didn't she?

Well...

that's true.

Dracula forced her to put

the spell on you.

She was his prisoner.

- Dracula did that?

Monster he is, who will stop at

nothing to get what he desires.

I guess I didn't want to see

who he really was.

Now I may never see

my family again.

It's alright.

For you, change that I could.

Who knew dad had it in him?

I guess he just

needed a holiday?

Oh, I missed you so much.

Are you okay?

Yes. Thanks to dad.

You should have seen him

fight the giant beetle.

You fought a monster?

And won.

What are we doing here?

- And what...

...is she doing here?

- Here to help, I am.

She brought us

all together.

Emma...

...you mustn't

leave this castle.

So he can speak.

- Yeah.

If you don't...

...marry my master,

he will destroy the world.

What?

- Talk about over-reacting.

He plans to sh**t a giant

ice sphere into the sun and then...

...the sun

will be extinguished...

...and all life on Earth

will come to an end.

Except for vampires.

Who don't need sunlight.

So in order to save

all life on Earth...

...I have to marry Dracula?

Mmm.

No. We'll stop him.

- But how?

My master is currently

in his Lazarus bath.

He needs it to stop

himself from aging.

Good to know but we're trying

to save the planet here.

You misunderstand.

In the bath he's helpless.

But he's only inside

until sunset.

Okay, we've got no plan

and no time.

Wait. Does this castle

have a kitchen?

Only the best

in the catalogue.

Okay. We need salt,

olive oil and water.

We're making Dracula pasta?

- With salt, olive oil and sacred balm...

holy water, you make!

- Major anti-vampire mojo.

Holy water will beat Dracula?

- For sure.

Once he's beaten,

we'll lock him up forever.

Salt and oil.

And water.

- Er, Max.

Where will we find sacred

balm in a kitchen?

I don't think it's gonna

be in the spice rack.

It's been here

all the time.

Your bandages are steeped

in a sacred embalming fluid.

Okay. Sometimes being smart...

...is extremely cool.

It's amazing what people will do

to knock off just a few years.

I'm gonna jump on the tank and

I'll pour in the holy water.

Awake, the Dark One is.

Emma, why would you stay

with your wretched family...

...when we can achieve

greatness together?

Oh, no, I sense you

brought holy water.

Wow, how can he smell

through that thing?

Your heart is so dark,

no-one could love you.

Do be careful. It's very steep.

- Ouch!

- Told you.

This is from the Wishbones!

For every antidote there

is an antiantidote.

Bon apptit.

And welcome back.

I'm hungry!

I'm sure your mother's love for you

is bigger than her appetite.

Memma. Mon't.

Now bite him and we shall live

together for all eternity.

You are mine.

You are a vampire.

Fulfil your destiny.

I...

...Immove... you.

What are you doing?

Yes, Emma. Do it!

Do it now!

Emma?

No!

No!

Yes!

The greatest magic,

love is.

Yuck.

What?

Why does this always happen to me?

You leave my mum alone.

Ah, so much for romance.

Humans, why must you

always be so... human?

Is everyone okay?

I'm so glad you're awake.

What I have in store for you is...

...much more enjoyable

if you're conscious.

The ice sphere is expanding.

And soon we'll be

ready for launch.

So I'm afraid it's

going to get very cramped...

...and very, very

cold in here.

Let my family go and

I will stay with you.

It's too late,

I'm afraid...

...Emma. You chose

your family over me.

And now I choose

to destroy you.

Just look at it as a

particularly bad break up.

You and my traitorous servant

are about to discover what happens...

...when you betray

the Prince of Darkness.

I've made a huge mistake and

I got us into this.

You were right, Fay.

I'm really good

at messing up.

No, Mum, you were right.

- I was?

It doesn't matter if people look at

me and see an ugly mummy.

I know who I am under

all these bandages.

And it's not that much

fun being scary.

It's actually kind of lonely.

- I'm sorry...

...I said all those

awful things.

I wouldn't want any other family.

- Frank...

...mmove... family.

I mmove you, too.

Room for one more?

You broke the spell!

You're finally happy.

Come on, we have

to stop Dracula.

We've just got this little

problem with the chains.

I don't.

And so you're going

to step up and single-handedly...

...conquer the

Prince of Darkness...

...and take us all home.

- What?

You're the only one

who's not chained up.

Hey.

Hello.

Wishbones, let's save the world then.

The sun is

about to rise...

...for the last time, because

very soon, my little friend...

...your big brother will be

sent to destroy it!

Not you again.

What are you doing here?

You are meant to be frozen.

In your dreams.

The Wishbones never give up.

Such confidence.

Do tell me, my dear...

...how do you plan to defeat

a being who can freeze you at will?

Vile deceivers!

I guess you're not

so powerful now.

I can still press a button.

Not so fast, you creep!

Take that, and that,

and that, that and...

Enough of this.

What's he doing?

Mrap. I mean crap!

Pathetic creatures.

Look at you.

Hideous. Weak. Timid.

But we are a family.

Something that you will never have.

And neither will you.

What now?

I beat a beetle.

- And won!

I think I can

deal with that.

Okay, let's settle

this man to bat.

The sun.

Did you really think

you could defeat me?

Me?

The Prince of Darkness.

The Scourge of Transylvania.

Say goodbye to your...

Pitiful mortals.

You cannot... defeat...

Huh, Dracula.

As I've always said

it's good to do things

together as a family.

More work for you, Wishbone.

No can do.

I'm going home.

I can fire you, you know.

You should think of your family.

That's exactly what I'm doing.

Wishbone! Wishbone!

It might seem crazy what

I'm about to say

Sunshine she's here,

you can take a break

Because I'm happy

Clap along if you feel

like a room without a roof

Because I'm happy

Clap along if you feel

like happiness is the truth

Because I'm happy

Clap along if you know

what happiness is to you

Because I'm happy

Clap along if you feel

like that's what you wanna do

Here comes bad news

talking this and that, yeah

Well, give me all you got,

and don't hold it back

Da-da!

- Yeah!

Happy

Only you

can make me happy

Happy

Only you

can make me happy

So happy

Bye.

Only you

can make me happy