Witchouse (1999)

[bunniefuu]

(spooky music)

(thunder rumbles)

- [Scott] Nice place.

- [Marie] Nice place for an
Amityville Horror squeal anyway.

You know I can't believe I
actually let you drag me out

to this house.

- [Scott] Yeah?

What else would you have done tonight?

- [Marie] Maybe I would
have read a good book.

Who knows?

I actually would have
rather gone to a bar.

(car doors open and close)

- [Scott] Looks like we're
the first to show up.

- [Marie] Well I don't like this too much.

- I think you're being silly.

I mean look at this, this
is going to be a blast.

Partying down at the old haunted house.

- Yippee.

- What were you talking
about earlier today?

Something about Elizabeth?

- Well I was in grade school with her.

I don't remember her too well back then,

except the fact that
she was really spooky.

- Well she sure ain't like that anymore.

- I give you exhibit A.

Witch house.

(scary music)

(doorbell rings)

I told you.

Nobody home.

(door creaks open)

- Let's go in, huh?

- And what if Elizabeth gets pissed off

because we walked into her house?

- Maybe she'll turn us into frogs.

- Funny, as*h*le.

- How the hell should I know.

Let's just go in.

(dramatic music)

(thunder cracks)

(clock ticking)

(door creaks open)

(whistles)

- Wow.

She really went all out.

- How do you know this isn't
the way her place always looks?

Remember that promise?

That we'd go to the Hurricane
if this turned out bad?

- Honey we'll go in a sec, okay?

(thunder cracks)

Elizabeth?

Lizzy?

It's Bob and Margaret,
we're here for the party?

Maybe she's shy?

- Maybe it's an early April Fools gag.

We show up and no party.

Ha ha.

Well we really look stupid.

Let's split.

- Hold on, there's a
light coming for here.

Let's check it out.

(door closes)

(clock chimes deeply)

- Bob?

Bob?

- Yes mama.

- You idiot.

- You should have seen your face.

- Well take a good look d*ck head,

because I'm about to claw your eyes out.

- I wasn't trying to scare you, okay?

Ronnie, you got to
check this basement out.

It's wild.

- Okay, let's see the basement.

(thunder cracks)

(water drips)

(spooky music)

- I really hope this is just more

of Elizabeth's party favors.

Because if it isn't,

she's got some serious
problems to deal with.

- Honey,

remember when I told you

I always wanted to do it in a graveyard?

- And remember when I called
you a sick freak when you did.

- Well, we could do it here instead.

- Bob.

What if Elizabeth or
somebody else finds us?

Are you insane?

- No.

Just very,

very horny.

- Okay, you big goofball.

But you owe me if we do this.

- I'll take you to the new Meg Ryan movie.

I know you like Meg Ryan.

(dramatic music)

- sh*t.

I knew somebody was going to find us.

- Elizabeth?

Nice trick.

(yells out)

- Oh my God.

Bob!

(body thuds to floor)

(spooky music)

(thunder cracks)

(screams)

(dramatic music)

(funky rock music)

- [Marie] I'm excited.

I mean this is totally
gonna be a cool party.

- Oh, remember when Elizabeth
had that fake eye ball

at the formal, and pretended
her eye had fallen out?

God, she's awesome.

- Isn't that the same
year she hid the dead rat

in Billy Hershberger's locker,

and they had the police
investigation over it?

- Oh now, that's messed up.

- Do you guys know where
Bob and Margaret are?

Their car's here.

- Maken out, I don't know.

What am I their baby sitter?

- I just though that it was weird that

you know their car's
outside and we haven't seen

them all night, that's all.

- Brad.

You Brainiac, you think too much.

What?

- You pick on him too much Scott, okay?

- Okay boys, make nice.

Jack you can take off
your Superman costume now.

Anyways, Brad's a quantum mechanics major.

He's going to be the next Stephen King.

- That's Stephen Hawking, Marie.

- One more of these and
it'll be Bozo the Clown.

- Meanwhile, Jackie here is
going to be a TV repair man.

- That's applied sciences, okay?

And don't call me Jackie.

I really and truly hate
being called Jackie.

- You know what your problem is?

Lack of sex.

- What?

- Honey, we have to get Jack a woman.

He might explode if don't.

- Why you guys picking on me?

Pick on Brad or something.

- She's right, man.

Any fine wine Jack,
doesn't improve with age.

You got to use it or loose it.

- Don't look at me.

I gave up dating for my work.

- What does she know anyway?

- I'll have you know I
just aced my term paper.

- No sh*t, what's it on?

- Handedness through the ages.

Real mystical type stuff.

(thunder cracks)

- Handedness?

What's handedness?

- Well it's not a football term.

- It refers to the left hand
and all the superstition

that surrounds it.

Many cultures believe that

the left hand is a symbol of evil.

And that left handed people
are servants of the devil.

That kind of thing.

- Sounds pretty messed up to me.

- Hey I didn't make this up.

I mean my dissertation
focuses on the fact that the

myth of handedness started

because left handed people are so rare.

Ancient cultures glommed
onto anything out of the norm

and made it quote, unquote evil.

You know.

- So,

I'm a bad guy, just
because I'm a south paw?

- Let's hope.

- Hey and speaking of kooky magic stuff.

- Oh, our lovely hostess.

- [Scott] Whoo.

- Encore.

(applause and cheering)

- [Brad] You go girl.

- Whoa is this a costume party or what?

- No I just threw this old thing on.

But I'm sure you'll
discover that it sort of

fits the theme of my little party.

- Theme?

(rock music in background)

- Well first of all kids,

I have to thank you
for coming out tonight.

As I explained to you all
when I passed out the invites,

tonight is a very special
night of the year for me.

And I really wanted to
celebrate it with my friends.

So with out further delay,

let's rock.

- [Tony] Whoa, sh*t.

Look.

It's like a Dio live evil poster.

Far f*ck out.

- Wow a pentagram.

As in protects you from evil
type pentagram, or what?

- Well that depends, Janet.

Do you believe in evil spirits?

- Well I believe in all
kinds of kooky sh*t.

- Speaking of that.

So do you mind if I party?

- By all means.

- Alright.

- Tony?

- No it's just, you know,
for use of tobaco products.

- You don't part with tobacco,
you lying little stooge.

- Doesn't look like I'm going
to party at all tonight.

Since mom's here.

- Fathers lock up your daughters,

'cause ole Scott Meredith's

got an alcohol related death wish tonight.

- Honey I thought we
weren't going to drink

any hard stuff tonight.

I mean, Jack's got Janet.

Tony and Brad.

So you're going to be the one who's able

to drive you and me out of here tonight.

- Huh?

- I can always take a cab.

Remember that, slugger.

- Is there a problem?

- No.

No problem.

- Hey Elizabeth I don't mean to be picky,

but your folks need to
hire a maid or something.

- Okay you definitely have issues, babe.

- Confectioners sugar, with
a little bit of backing soda

added for good measure.

I worked at this haunted
house last Halloween,

we used the same thing.

Tre elaborate, I'm impressed.

- So wow, you put all these
cobwebs and stuff out here

just for the part?

- As I told you, it's the theme.

- And what's the theme?

I'm psychotic and I wished
it was Halloween again?

- Just knock it off Maria.

- Look I know some of you have
your reservations about me.

- Well I--

- I totally understand, Maria.

It's alright.

(thunder cracks)

Let's get the mood going.

(rock music)

- So, you're this physics major, huh?

- That's my curse, I guess.

- Well do you think maybe later on

you can look at my guitar?

I mean the amp is totally fried on it.

- I don't know that much
about musical instruments.

- Well sh*t that's okay.

I mean you look like a
fairly smart guy and all.

- Thanks.

- No problem.

- You party man?

- No.

- You know that doesn't work anymore.

- What doesn't work?

- That whole just say no to drugs crap.

Look it's been tried, and I'm
here to say, it doesn't work,

so go ahead.

- Well I just don't
get into it personally.

But thanks for the offer.

- Alright, that's cool you know.

Once my friend Skeeter,
he wanted me to have some

gold pane out of a baggie.

I was like, no way dude.

Cause that stuffs totally bogus.

- Good.

At least you didn't do it.

- No, no, don't get me wrong man.

Of course I still did it.

But I was right.

That stuff was so bogus man.

- I'll bet.

Guys.

- You had to tell him that
stupid gold pane story.

(scoffs)

What's wrong with you?

(door bell rings)

- Late arrival.

Please excuse me while I answer the door,

won't you?

- You mean more people are actually going

to show up to this thing?

- Oh, I hope it's the pizza guy.

I am hungry.

- What?

- You know what.

Your flirting with her, aren't you?

I think you're just being paranoid again.

- Look, you've flirted
with other girls before,

and I'm cool with it.

I mean, I know I'm the one
your leaving with at the end

of the night, and no harm done.

But this is different.

- Honey, I'm not flirting, okay?

Can you just chill out for a
minute or two and have fun.

Have a drink.

You always have fun when you drink.

- I think you like her.

(thunder cracks)

- This is a big place.

Why don't we go upstairs,

and I'll show you how
much I'd rather have you,

than her, okay?

- Okay.

(thunder cracks and rolls into distance)

- This place is really creepy, Scott.

- You know Brad got me
thinking back there.

I wonder where Bob and Margaret are.

(giggles)

- Maybe we'll bump into the in
one of those spare bedrooms.

- Jesus, maybe I should mention

something to Elizabeth about it.

- Can her name not edge it's way into

everything that comes out of your mouth.

- Sorry.

- It's okay.

And,

I'm really sorry about everything
that went down tonight.

I mean, I like Elizabeth a lot.

It's just that sometimes
I get a vibe from her.

Like she's watching you.

So, I guess I get jealous.

- Hey, I'll admit she's
a little out of the norm.

But she seems really friendly,

and she's been nothing but
nice to all of us tonight.

So I think you ought to
cut her a little slack.

- Listen Scott, I never got
to tell you all the stuff

about this old house.

What the kids used to say about it.

- Yeah?

- It's haunted.

(laughter)

- No wonder you're all
freaked out about being here.

I mean, think about it.

It's been building up
in your mind for years,

you just wound up
convincing yourself of it.

- It's not funny Scott.

Too many people talk
about this place for there

not to be something to it.

- It's in your head, sweetheart.

That's all.

- Yeah?

- Yeah.

You just need someone
to distract you from it

for a little while.

(heavy rock music in background)

(thunder cracks and booms)

- Can you believe this stuff?

I mean come on, it's not Halloween.

- What do you say we just
find ourselves a room, huh?

- Alright.

(thunder cracks)

(giggles)

(heavy rock music in background)

- Wonder what this means?

- Spells out Necronomicon.

See?

I'm kidding, I've no God
damn idea what it says.

Maybe it's in French.

Well this part says Le Fay,
that much I can actually read.

- What do you think it is?

- I don't know.

Its too old to be a
photo album I'm guessing.

- I'm serious.

- I don't know,

why don't you ask our
hostess with the mostess

when she moseys back in here.

I'll just grab my ax.

- Everybody, I would like
to introduce my friend

Jennifer to our little gathering.

Jennifer this is everybody.

Feel free to make yourself at home.

We were just getting started
actually when you showed up.

- Hey, Brad Peyton.

- Hi.

- Hey, you smoke?

It's good stuff.

Grew it in my closet.

- Wow.

Jennifer?

Jennifer Bainbridge?

You and I had progressive psych together

last year, remember?

I had to pad out my humanities credit,

don't ask why.

There you were.

- Yes, Jack Smith.

You sat in the back row.

- Wow.

Yeah, that's right.

I remember when you'd come in

and you'd just gotten
those glasses, and...

You know what I'm going to
shut up now before I make

any bigger an idiot out of
myself than already have.

- Don't worry, you're doing fine.

- Thanks.

(thunder cracks)

- Where did Scott and Maria go?

- Probably a good idea if you don't ask.

(dramatic music)

(thunder cracks and
rolls into the distance)

- Okay everybody, I'd like
to get this thing going.

I think we should all
sit around the pentagram.

- What for?

- I have a method to my madness, trust me.

- [Brad] What about the
other guests you invited?

What if they show up?

- Then they show up.

Anyway the sun has officially gone down,

and I want to start my
May Day celebration.

Who would like to join me?

- I'll do it.

What the hell.

- Dude.

You got to sit next to
the little woman, man.

Don't you know anything.

- Okay Tony, we're not
in high school anymore.

Can we put down the bong for a second

and relate to that concept.

(thunder cracks)

Thanks a bunch.

- It's okay Jack.

You can sit next to me if you want,

I don't mind.

- Hi.

- Hi your self.

(thunder rolls)

(heart beats in distance)

- Your not joining us?

- You know what,

I think I'm just going
stand over here and watch.

Seances aren't my thing.

- Well it's not exactly a seance,

but feel free to do whatever you wish.

- Okay, maybe I'll sit in.

- Hey I got this great
party game we can all play

since we're all sitting in a circle.

You dudes ever hear of suck and blow?

- I have something else in mind.

- If this has anything to do
with eating a human heart,

I'm out of here.

- I want to tell you what
this night truly means to me.

But before I do, I want
us all to join hands.

- I don't know if I'm
into that love in concept.

- Oh it's nothing like that.

It's just important to
be as close together

as possible to form a circle.

It's all part of May Day.

- What is May Day, anyway?

I've never heard of it.

Then I guess I don't get out much.

- Some Wiccan thing.

(heart beat in background)

(thunder cracks)

- I don't know if we
should sit on this stuff,

or check it out down in the museum.

- I like it.

- I'm afraid it predates most religions.

In early times some people
believed that this day

was the one day of the
year, when the moon's full,

and the position of the
stars came down to Earth

in a sort of perfect focus point.

A point that allowed terrible
cataclysm and havoc to be

unleashed upon mankind.

They say Pompeii was buried under ash

after a particularly powerful May Day.

The black plague, the day the
atomic b*mb was conceived.

(thunder rolls into the distance)

(heart beating in background)

And if you were a practitioner
of the black arts,

well it was a day of great tribute.

A day to commune with the dark arts.

- [Janet] Bitchen.

- [Brad] Why would anybody
want to celebrate that?

- [Elizabeth] For the same reason

people celebrate Halloween.

If people put on masks and
carve out jack-o-lanterns,

and ask for candy, it wards
off the darker connotation

that Halloween was once the
day people locked their doors

and hid from the evil spirits

and demons that roamed the Earth.

- Well,

At least this place has it's own bath.

- Really, does it have running water,

or just a big ole chamber pot?

- Got it's own shower, too.

- Now that we are all part of a circle.

A sacred circle I might add.

Since we are all seated around

an ancient and powerful symbol,

it is time for a story.

Though it took place centuries ago,

it is my story too.

It's repercussions have
reached down through the years.

Through the bloodline
of the Le Fay family,

and even now touch me.

(thunder cracks loudly)

Tonight marks the 300th
anniversary of my ancestors death.

Her name was Lilith.

Named after the first woman.

The true first woman who God
cast out of the Garden of Eden

as an abomination before he created Eve.

Lilith Le Fay.

She came across the Atlantic
when she was a child,

and lived in this house
until the night she died.

When she was just a little
older than I am now.

(soft jazzy music)

- So, what do we do?

- I think we can come up with something,

if we put our minds to it.

Could be a long night.

- And how long is long?

- Very.

- Well if that's the case

I think I might have an idea or two.

- Such as?

- [Elizabeth] She grew up in
the company of her parents,

who both believed themselves
to be powerful sorcerers.

They instructed her in
the ways of black magic.

Or speaking to the dark worlds
that lay beyond our own.

And it is said that she became

a favorite daughter of the Dark Ones.

And was more powerful than her mother

and father could ever imagine.

The older Lilith became the
more uncontrollable she became.

Her behavior was wanton,

even by the standards
her own family lived by.

Soon she was beyond obeying
the rules of anyone.

And engaged in all manner
of what was considered

forbidden practices.

Elicit sex,

drinking alcohol,

dancing in graveyards on moonlit nights.

Blasphemy.

And she dared to look
in her fathers grimoire,

which according to the family legend,

was one of the most powerful
tomes on the planet.

Her father tried to punish
her for her indiscretions,

but Lilith was too strong.

And the only master she listened to now

were the voices of the Dark Ones.

The ones who gave her power.

And one night,

so they say,

Lilith's parents were suddenly
and inexplicably dead.

They say Lilith may have k*lled them,

but so many things had
been attributed to her

that the death of her family members

simply passed on into myth.

She abducted a child from
Dunwich in the dead of night,

on May Day 1698.

The Dark Ones told her that
a sacrifice must be made.

The heart of a true innocent.

And she took the child here,

to this house,

with the intention of
cutting out his heart,

in an elaborate ceremony.

- Aw man, is the kid going to be alright?

- The child was never harmed.

For you see,

the town elders sent forth
a tribunal of witch hunters

moments after Lilith kidnapped him.

They arrived shortly before the
sacrifice was to take place.

The power that was promised
to Lilith never came.

For you see, there was
only one form of punishment

regarding the crime of witchcraft.

She was burned at the stake.

(fire crackles)

(chains rattle, people
yelling in background)

(ethereal voices sing)

(bell tolls)

- Where am I?

- Silence witch.

- Scott, what's going on here?

- Thou has been accused of
the crime of witchcraft.

- I'm me, I'm Brad Peyton.

You guys know me.

Stop this.

- For the crimes of witchcraft, m*rder,

and thy unholy alliance
with the one I call Legion.

We, the goodly servants of the Lord,

the elders of the township of Dunwich,

sentence thee, Lilith Le Fay,
to be burned at the stake,

and condemned to eternal damnation.

- Eternity.

It's a real b*tch.

(bell tolls)

(frantic creepy music)

- Somebody wake me up.

Don't let them burn me.

- Whoa, dude.

- I saw.

- Jesus, what happened Brad?

- It was so real.

I was there.

When they were burning Lilith.

It was me.

It was,

I felt the fire burning me.

- You must have fallen
asleep during the story.

That's all.

You never left the room.

It was probably just a bad dream.

- I've never had a dream like this before.

- That' all it was.

I swear.

Well,

I certainly won't stop anybody

if anyone would like to leave.

- It's not your fault.

I guess I just got spooked
out by the whole thing.

Maybe I should go home.

- The phone is upstairs,

so I'll just go and call you a cab.

That way everybody else
can stick around and party.

Might be a few minutes though.

- Could you?

I'm sorry about the way that I acted.

- Must have had a bad trip, man.

I have them all the time.

(thunder cracks)

- I'm really glad we came up here Scott.

I think we really needed it.

(thunder cracks)

At least one of us got comfortable.

(slow intense music)

- It's a strange way to
finally meet someone, huh?

- Yeah I feel like I'm 14 again,

and we're all at summer
camp telling ghost stories.

- Dude.

I got booted out of summer camp.

Cause see they gave us
these pain pills if you like

busted a leg or something.

Only I kept busting my leg
to get more pills and stuff.

Finally the camp counselor
said, you gotta go son.

You got a drug problem.

So my folks threw me in drug rehab.

That's my story.

The end.

- Hey don't look over here.

I boosted a Mercedes
when I was 14 years old.

Spent that whole summer in juvie hall.

Sucked.

- Yeah.

- Me and my big mouth.

(thunder cracks)

- Hey, I really want to explore
this place a little bit.

Would you like to join me?

- Would I?

I mean,

yeah sure.

Whatever you want.

- Please, follow me.

(thunder cracks)

- Tell you what, slugger.

While you sleep it off,

I'm going to hop in the shower, deal?

Deal.

(thunder cracks)

(spooky music)

- Guys?

Elizabeth?

Scotty?

Anyone?

- I'm digging the t*rture
dungeon vibe in here.

(laughter)

- You know they say the
original Le Fay family had

this mansion shipped,

brick by brick, slap by stone slab,

to Massachusetts from
their estate in France

back in the early 1600s.

- No sh*t?

Why would they want to
do something like that?

- Well I suspect Elizabeth's ancestors

came to the new world for the
same reason the pilgrims did.

To escape religious persecution.

- So, they were puritans?

- Not exactly.

More like Satanists.

- Great.

(spooky music)

- Elizabeth?

Is that you?

(thunder cracks)

Elizabeth?

- What other stuff did she tel you?

- Well okay, like the Le
Fay family has always had

this stigma of witchcraft
and evil attached to it.

- Everybody around here knows that.

But nobody think Elizabeth
is a witch or anything.

At least I don't.

- Remember Morgan Le Fay?

King Arthur's legend?

That's what I'm talking about.

- You guys down there?

(dramatic music)

(water drips)

- You mind,

telling me what you're thinking about?

- No, I'm just looking around.

It's a nice place.

- what's you take on the
whole witchcraft thing?

- You're asking the wrong guy.

I'm about as sickeningly
normal as it gets.

The only thing I know about
witches is that they wear

those weird pointy hats, and
ride around on broomsticks.

- Yeah, but I bet you have a dark side.

We all do.

- Well,

I'm a applied sciences teacher.

How's that?

- How does that fit into
the witchcraft equation?

- Probably not very well.

However, I can tel you that the Le Fay's

have a messed up wiring.

- The wiring?

- You see up here.

You can find that kind of
house wiring in old English

castles and stuff.

They can't drill through the rock walls

because of the maintenance
problems it causes,

so they just string it
along, exposed to the walls

and cracks and stuff like in here.

But you get a whole
different set of problems

doing it this way.

Rock walls tend to get damp,

short out the exposed
transformers all the time.

I did an analysis on it back in--

- That's pretty fascinating stuff, Jack.

Really.

- You had to talk about
the wiring, didn't you?

(thunder cracks)

- I call upon the forces
higher than I to release

the energy that is held inside.

I call upon thee, I call
upon thee, I invoke thee,

my angels and demons.

My gods and devils.

My divine goddess and dark lord.

I call upon the ancestors
that watch over me,

protect me, enfold me,
guide, and shape my destiny.

(dramatic music)

(thunder cracks)

- Hey.

I was hoping I would find me a copy of

As you like it, in here.

- Oh yeah.

Well what girl could
live without her very own

copy of the Complete
Predictions of Nostradamus?

(chuckles)

(suspenseful music)

- Holy cow.

This looks like that book
Elizabeth had back in the den.

There's got to be dozens of them in here.

- You know, it's not so strange.

I think I've heard of
something like this before

where families keep multiple copies

of the family bible around.

You know like one around for
each member of the family,

it's sort of like a diary.

What are you doing?

- Well right before you showed up,

I was kind of looking
through the one in the den.

Kind of got my interest.

I think it would be kind of
neat to find out where someone

like Elizabeth came from.

- I invoke the spirits of my dread clan.

By Cerberus and Ball.

I give thee this sacrifice,

the blood of two innocents.

For I am only your
servant upon this earth,

and ask of you for your love,

and the blessing of your power.

(dramatic music)

Give me the power.

Hello my dear, long, lost Lilith.

- It's nice to see the family
has kept up with tradition.

- Brad, how nice of you to join us.

- Elizabeth, I...

- You're interrupting a family moment.

- Who are you?

- I'm your destiny, Bard Peyton.

I told your ancestors I would return.

And I have.

And I've waited oh so very long,

for your kiss.

(thunder cracks)

(loud kissing noises)

(screams and groans)

(evil laughter)

- Ah, the sweet taste of revenge.

(maniacal laughter)

Now, go forth and claim your prize.

My beloved ancestor.

- Oh this is weird.

- What?

- It's a list of names.

Goodman Darrow, Goodman
Meeredith, Goodman Salisbury,

Goodman Smith.

- So?

- So, all these guys have
the same last names as us.

Well most of us,

I mean I don't see your last
name listed on here anywhere.

- Maybe it's a condescension.

- What does Goodman mean anyway?

- Goodman?

Well Goodman was sort of like mister.

Back in the early 15, 1600s.

Totally an anglo endearment.

It's basically a term of respect.

I told you I'm a history major.

(thunder cracks)

(spooky music)

(thunder rolls into the distance)

(bed creaks softly)

- What about those names?

- Well are you originally from Dunwich?

Or did you move here from someplace else?

- Well I was born in Boston,

but both my folks were
originally from here,

and then they moved back
when I was about five.

They liked the area.

- Then you know what, I bet if
you asked Scott, Janet, Marie

or anybody else they'll
tell you the same thing.

You guys are direct descendants
of these witch hunters.

- So, essentially what
we're dealing with here

is some really nice girl, maybe
a little on the spacey side,

somebody we all like, who just
out of the clear blue sky,

decides to have a party 300
years after her ancestor dies,

and just happens to invite all
the descendants of the guys

who k*lled her?

- Essentially, yeah.

(hisses)

Do you think she knew all this

when she invited you guys here?

- Of course she knew.

I mean I don't know how you
guys wound up with an invite,

but when she invited me, Scott, and Maria,

she was very specific about who we were.

Made sure to mention our
last names and everything.

Even though we've pretty
much known her forever.

- You know, this could
still just be a coincidence.

Or maybe it's part of her jokes.

She's certainly got a twisted
enough sense of humor.

- Yeah well Goodman Banbridge
wasn't mentioned in that

edict thingy we were reading earlier,

so you're not part of this.

Why were you invited?

- Like I said, coincidence.

- See this is just too
perfect to be some coincidence

or accident.

Maybe you got an invite

just to throw the rest
of us off the trail.

- You know what, she
could be up to anything.

And I mean anything from,

surprise the lights are all off,

we could just stumble around in the dark

in a big ole spooky
house, pissing our pants,

right up to spiking the booze
and pushing us off the roof.

- Where is Elizabeth anyway?

Maybe we should just go find her.

- Are you sure you want to do that?

What about everybody else?

- I just wanted to study for
my applied sciences final.

(suspenseful music)

(heart beat in background)

(water dripping)

(music slowly increases pace)

- It's your destiny, Marie Darrow.

You pay for the past.

(screams)

- What was that?

- I don't know, it sure didn't sound good,

whatever it was.

- You got to be kidding me.

That's like the screamer

from haunted house sounds volume one.

Lame.

- Dude, dude are you sure?

That sounded like the real deal to me.

- Well the only way it
could have been real, Tony

if it's the freaking cheerleader
getting porked upstairs.

And that one kind of sounded
like she was faking it, huh?

- Well ain't Maria's usual
line like tackle men cowboy

when her and Scott are going at it?

And that was not it.

- I ain't exactly keeping score here.

- Alright well let's say it's not like

two people having sex, then what?

- Well gee, let's just say
that a big plastic pirate

skeleton out in the hall way
isn't from Wal-Mart either.

Come on Tony, it's all a big set up.

Don't you see?

I know Elizabeth and this is
one of her not so funny jokes.

You know what's going to happen next?

Somebody is going to pop
out with a Bbogeyman mask

and yell trick-or-treat.

- Did you want to go home?

- Well I'd rather stay with you.

If that's okay?

- That's more than okay.

(soft gentle music)

- You know back in progressive psych class

I'd catch you looking at me sometimes.

- Really?

- I mean I never knew
why you were doing it.

I never actually though you
liked me or anything like that.

- Why not?

- I just don't think of myself like that.

Not like most girls, I don't
think I'm very attractive.

- Hey,

look,

I'm just some guy, okay?

I'd be willing to bet there's
a ton of guys out there

who'd find you attractive.

- Well where you going?

- Well it's been real,

it's been fun,

but it ain't been real
fun, you know what I mean?

I think it's time to let
the air out of this shindig.

- Well what about Jack?

- Jack is probably going to make it

with little miss wallflower tonight.

- No, Jack was our ride out here tonight.

We don't find him, we don't get home.

- sh*t.

- Well where do you think he is?

- I don't know.

If he's smart he probably got the room

next to Scott and Maria.

- Dude, I'm serious.

I don't know my way around
creepy castle, do you?

- No.

But we're just going
to have to walk around

until we bump into Scott
and Maria, Jack, somebody.

- Well about the names in that book then?

- Oh, Lizzy gets a wild hair up her a*s,

invites the descendants of the guys

that burnt up that ancestor of hers?

Yeah, right.

I mean this whole thing sounds

like a big load of crap to me.

I mean look how long it
took for her to put up

creepy castle here.

Think about it, Tony.

She's got us all out here while her folks

are off in Switzerland or whatever,

and she's got this big plan
to freak everybody out.

- Man, she's a real b*tch.

- No, you're just a brain dead drug addict

who would fall for something like this.

Witches?

(scoffs)

Jesus.

(thunder cracks)

- I ain't a drug addict.

(soft romantic music)

- You should look at yourself sometime.

(giggles)

- I can't see without my glasses.

- You have incredible eyes, Jennifer.

- Really?

- Goes with the rest of you.

What?

(giggles)

- I'm sorry, Jack.

I'm sorry.

That was a pretty cheesy
line, you have to admit it.

- You thought it was cheesy?

- Just a little bit.

- Well, what's a good line to use?

- How about, I like you Jennifer.

And I would like to
get to know you better.

(chuckles)

- And that one's not cheesy?

- Shut up and kiss me, Jack.

- That one's good.

(pop)

- What happened to the lights?

- Looked like a power surge

with the bulbs popping like that.

An old house like this
has really shitty wiring.

Probably an old kicker box from the 50s

instead of a transformer.

Instead of blowing a fuse,

the breaker probably kicked off.

- Great.

- You know we should really find everybody

and get out of here.

I think this party died an
unatural death about an hour ago.

- Do you think everybody is okay?

- Well yeah, you know unless
Tony finally went section eight

and offed everybody with an U*i.

I don't see why not.

- What about that scream we just heard?

- I was just hoping that
we me mistaking someones

bad singing for a blood
curdling shriek or something.

Right, come on.

- What the hell happened
to the power in this joint?

- Dude I don't know.

But this is the part of the
movie where that hilljack

starts whacking up kids with an ax.

- Hands off, Tony.

- I'm afraid of the dark.

- It's not dark, look there's
candles and stuff, see.

- Oh yeah, that's a whole lot better.

- What I want to know is
where's our football player

pal and his girl toy?

I'm for calling it a night,

and I ain't too keen on leaving
anybody behind when I split.

This is so called party, is bad news.

- Dude if Elizabeth called
a taxi then we should stay

right here before it comes
so everyone can hitch a ride

out of here together, alright?

- Oh, here's a question.

So where did Stevie Nicks tra-la-la off

after she left us in that room?

How long does it take
to call a cab anyway?

It's a rhetorical question, goof ball.

- I don't know what that means.

- It means just shut the hell
up and follow me, alright?

Scott?

Maria?

Jackie, Brad?

Any f*cking body it's me, Janet.

Alright fine, I'm coming in.

(thunder rolls into the distance)

Oops.

- Dude, what is it?

(chuckles)

- Hey Scottie, Maria,

sorry for busting in on you two like that,

but Tony and I are gonna make
like a baby and head out.

So get your God damn clothes on,

and we can all do it together.

(thunder cracks)

Come one you two.

I'm all about sex 24 hours a day,

but now ain't the time,

and it sure as hell ain't the place.

(thunder cracks)

Alright fine.

But we're coming back for you
guys after we find the others.

- So um,

what exactly was going on in there?

I mean did you,

see anybody's breasts?

- What do I look like?

Penthouse forum?

Just shut up and help me
find Jack and Jennifer.

There's got to be someone in this place

who ain't getting it on.

(thunder cracks)

(dramatic music)

(low growling)

- Did everybody go home?

- I don't know.

- I thought the power was off?

- It is.

- Well what do you need that for?

- I'm liking this less
and less by the second.

- Yeah, well maybe it's
more of Elizabeth's

quote, unquote jokes.

- Yeah.

Ha ha.

This is a laugh riot.

Janet.

Tony?

You guys?

- You know, I just keep
getting this picture in my head

that everybody is waiting
behind a door or something.

Right? I mean, they're
all going to jump out

and yell surprise, right?

- Yeah, well I can tell
you at this point if they

pull something like that on us,

I'm going to beat them to death with this.

- [Demonic Disembodied Voice] Jack.

- Come on.

I mean it's one of her jokes.

It has to be.

- Yeah well, this joke
stuff is getting real old,

real God damn quick.

- What are we going to do, Jack?

- We'll hide into the foyer.

If we don't run into anybody there,

then I say we ditch these loosers,

and go and catch the
late show or something.

That'll fix their asses.

- Ordinarily I'd say that's pretty mean,

but I think under the circumstances.

- Come on.

- I'm right behind you.

(dramatic music)

(thunder cracks)

(soft female voice singing)

- Are you crashing my party?

(thunder cracks repeatedly)

(low growls)

(lightening hisses)

(dramatic music)

(maniacal laughter)

(low growls)

(body thuds to floor)

- Tony.

Are you alright?

- Yeah dude.

I'm great.

I don't think you want to know
what I just did to my pants.

What happened to that--

- I cold c*ck her, and
locked her in that room.

So we're cool.

- I want to know what the
hell's going on around here.

Was that, that thing that we just saw,

that Lilith chick Elizabeth
was talking about,

or what?

- Well what do you think?

- I don't know.

No, no, no, this ain't happening.

- Well I definitely think
we're dealing with something

outside the God damn norm.

Did you see her face,

and hear that voice?

This ain't no joke.

That's a God damn exorcist.

- Well what are we going
to do about it, alright?

We don't have any holy water or nothing.

- Alright.

I want you to go back there
and get Scot and Maria.

Now I'm going to go downstairs

and see if I can find anybody else.

And after that, we're going to vamoose.

Any objections?

- I'll eat my way out
of here if I have too.

(suspenseful music)

- Hello?

Anybody here?

- No need to shout.

- Jesus, don't do that.

- Whoa, Conan.

It's okay.

I'm not packing any heat.

- Sorry.

I'm just a little edgy at the moment.

- What the hell happened to the power?

I've been looking for a
fuse box for like hours now.

- We thought you turned
it off to scare everybody.

- I did all of this
just to scare you guys?

I'm twisted, but I'm
not quite that twisted.

- Did you happen to see anybody else

when you were walking around?

- Well I think I saw Janet and Tony

running around somewhere.

- Really?

- Well, look Elizabeth
I hate to do this but,

I think it's time for us to split.

Do you know where everybody is,

because we got a group together

so everybody can get a ride home.

Elizabeth?

- I have someone I want you to meet.

- What?

- Guys, meet Lilith Le Fay.

Remember I was telling
you about her earlier.

- Nobody is going to
leave my little party.

I'm your destiny, your
curse, nobody leaves.

You are all mine.

- Get away from me.

God.

- Our father who art in heaven,

hollowed be thy name.

Thy kingdom come, thy will be done,

on earth as it is in heaven.

Give us this day our daily bread,

and forgive us our trespasses,

as we forgive those who
trespass against us.

(maniacal laughter)

- My god is far older
than yours, little boy.

- That won't help you for long, Jackie.

You know that, don't you?

- How'd you know how to
do that with the cross?

- I don't know.

Seemed like the right thing,

I was raised catholic.

What can I say?

- Okay, so what the hell do we do now?

- I'm thinking,

run.

f*cking terrific.

- What was that?

A Halloween mask?

- Hey I trick-or-treat.

I think that was the real deal, folks.

- No it's nothing like that.

It can't be.

Maybe there's a legitimate
explanation for all this.

I mean maybe she got the
whole place rigged like

a haunted house or some sh*t,

and she's just setting
us up for something bad.

- We'll figure it out later.

Come on, keep running.

- Run all you want, Jack Smith.

But you won't get far.

Because this is my house,

and the door won't open again
until my family gets it's

revenge upon you all.

- Scotty?

Marie, are you guys okay in there?

Okay dudes, I can dig it if you cats

all want to do the marathon sex thing.

But it's real dark and scary out here,

and there's this demon chick after us,

and Janet wants us all to split,

or she's going to kick my a*s sideways.

Oh, and I gotta pee really bad, too.

- [Maria] It's okay Tony,
we're getting dressed.

Come right on it.

- Yo.

(suspenseful music)

Hey dudes.

You want to party?

- It is party time, Tony.

- Don't loose your head.

(screams)

- sh*t!

What's happening?

- It's Elizabeth.

- There's thing thing,

I mean it, it, it just came out of her.

- It's Lilith Le Fay.

- Like how?

- Who gives a sh*t like how.

Just is.

We've got to find the
others and pull out of here.

Look, whatever this
chick is, or she ain't.

This one mean mother that
just pop out at me and Tony

like she just did.

So we're going for the
door, and we're going now.

And when we're about 90
miles away from this place,

we can try and explain to the cops.

- No good.

Elizabeth is down by the door right now.

We gotta find another way out.

- How about a window?

- Also no good.

This place is locked up like Fort Knox.

It'll take a Mack tuck to get
through those security bars.

- Do you think all the windows
in the house are like that?

- With our luck,

yeah.

- Oh God guys, this is really bleeding.

- Got yourself a genuine
battle scar there, Cinderella.

It's not deep though.

It just looks bad.

- There has to be another way out of here.

I mean a back door, something.

- We don't know our way around this place.

And I don't especially
dig the concept of going

around and trying to figure it out.

Do you?

- How about a phone?

- I'm thinking no, on that one.

We got better luck finding
a space ship in this place.

- Maybe an attic window?

- I ain't leaving here without Tony.

(squelching)

(dramatic music)

(hissing)

- [Jennifer] Oh, oh God.

(low growling)

- What the hell happened to them?

- Tell you what,

you can ask them while
I haul a*s out of here.

(suspenseful music)

I don't want to just wonder, b*tch.

- Neither do I.

- Where do you think she is?

Elizabeth I mean.

Or Lilith.

- I don't know, I'm trying
not to think about it.

- What's wrong, kids?

Is it the music?

Not enough booze?

You guys weren't really
going to leave so soon,

were you?

After all, I think it's time
we get this party really going.

(demonic laughter)

(water dripping)

- We're totally screwed.

- Well if Elizabeth, or Lilith,

or whats ever left of
our friends don't get us,

then we'll just end up
dying of starvation.

Terrific.

- This place is like a lab.

- Yeah, or those wacko dungeons
in a Frankenstein flicks.

- I bet ya this is where
I buddy Liz comes after a

hard day of yanking out peoples hearts.

(gasps)

- Oh God.

(dramatic music)

Must have gotten here first.

- Anne Brown must have found them.

- I'm not ending up like that.

(dramatic music)

Maybe this is that book,

the one that Elizabeth
was telling us about.

The one that's like
super evil or something.

- Ugh.

Yup, that's the one.

What are you keeping it for?

Aren't we in enough trouble?

- Look maybe we can find out.

Maybe it'll come in handy.

Maybe we can use it
against that witch b*tch.

- [Lilith] Jack.

- Don't, let's stay together.

(spooky music)

Janet?

- How do you like the new improved me?

- sh*t.

- The party is almost over, Jack.

So you can either go outside,

and let Elizabeth and her
friends take care of you.

Or you can let me play
with you for awhile.

What do you think?

- Sister I think you got
some serious f*ck problems.

- So be it tough guy.

(yells)

(dramatic music)

(grunts)

Oh we don't need that nasty little thing

to spoil our fun, now do we?

(dramatic music)

It's destiny, Jack.

Sit back and enjoy the ride.

(dramatic music)

(demonic yelling)

(thunder cracks)

- Can you walk?

- I might be able to crawl.

(heart beating in background)

(suspenseful music)

- Maybe we could still
make it to the attic.

- No dice.

Even if we could get up there,

there's no way I could climb down

the side of the house like this.

(thunder cracks)

- Jack, I'm worried about you.

You're loosing a lot of blood.

- Look,

there's only one way out of this mess.

We have to k*ll Elizabeth.

- Well that's easier said than done.

- Maybe, kicker box.

- Yeah, so?

You think having the lights on

is like the least of
our problems right now.

- No, no I have a plan.

Look, I need you to cut that wire.

But make sure it stays
connected to the box.

Here grab that sword.

Grab it.

Good.

Right at the bottom.

Great, great.

Okay.

Alright.

Good.

I'm an applied sciences major, right?

So now it's time to apply
some science to the situation.

Okay.

I need you to go over to the kicker box.

- The kicker box?

- Yeah, go.

Now when I say when.

You pull down on the switch.

- Jack I still really don't--

- Just trust me.

When I tell you too,

just pull down on that switch.

- Okay, okay.

- Okay.

Elizabeth?

You around here anywhere?

You and Lilith might want
to come and check this out.

(dramatic music)

- Be careful what you ask for.

You just might get it.

- Not so fast.

You come any closer,

and I'm going to burn
this little book of yours.

It would be a real b*tch if
you came back from the dead,

and you couldn't take over the world

because someone burned your
f*cking instruction manual,

wouldn't it?

- Oh little Jackie,

I'm going to certainly save you for last.

That is most of you, anyway.

(yells)

you get an A for effort, Jackie boy.

But I'm afraid you just don't understand.

I've been doing this hundreds of years,

before you were ever born.

(gags and groans)

And I will have what is mine.

Oh yes.

(squelches)

(dramatic music)

(hisses and growls)

What's this?

- That's what you get
for calling me Jackie,

you ugly b*tch.

Now!

(lightening crackles)

(dramatic music)

(low growls)

(moans in pain)

(expl*si*n)

- Oh my god, oh my god.

You okay?

- I'm okay.

- You k*lled her.

Again.

But it doesn't matter, you guys.

She's still going to have
her revenge through me.

- Don't you know who I am, Elizabeth?

See I had an ancestor too in Dunwich.

Remember that child who
almost got sacrificed

300 years ago by Lilith?

I'm his descendant.

- You?

- No more scarifies, Elizabeth.

Like your family is so fond of saying,

we pay for the past.

So do you.

(yells out in pain)

(body thuds on floor)

(sorrowful music)

Man I am definitely switching my major.

Come here.

- What are we going to tell the cops?

I mean all our friends are dead,

and we almost got k*lled

because our parents were witch hunters.

- I think we can finally
put the past to rest.

- And what about us?

I mean,

cause I,

well I,

- Shut up and kiss me, Jack.

(uplifting music)

(dramatic music)