Santa Hunters (2014)

[bunniefuu]

Over the course of human history,

there have been questions... mysteries.

Our world is filled with

things we can't explain

and legends we've never even seen.

Yet there is one legend more

fascinating than the rest...

a yuletide visitor from the North.

He flies through our skies undetected,

and travels the globe on a magical sled.

We find presents beneath trees,

stockings filled by an unseen hand.

He goes about his secret work

leaving not a single whisker of evidence.

We never see him, but he knows

if we've been naughty or nice.

Without proof... he is just a mystery.

Some dare question his very existence...

until now.

Hey, wait up!

Alex, we got reindeer poo!

Frozen yogurt... Dutch chocolate with...

nuts and raisins.

Definitely not reindeer poo.

Merry Christmas!

This is it, he's on the move.

You sure you're in focus?

Duh! Of course I'm in focus.

I know how to use a camera.

I'm not five.

You're eight. Exactly.

I'm Alex.

My sister Elizabeth is behind the camera.

We're at Pinebrooke Middle School

gathering pre-holiday intelligence.

Merry Christmas. Merry Christmas.

Come on, follow me.

Um, I don't have proper authorization.

It's okay, it's for science.

Come on, come on.

Ew, what are those things?

How do you sit on those?

Shh!

Principal Welch?

Elizabeth?

For reals?

My principal is Santa Claus?

Cut!

Every kid knows Santa...

Jolly, wears red, likes the carbs.

But aside from the Tim Allen

movies and seasonal TV specials,

what do we really know about our

plus-size visitor from the North?

I don't think anyone has ever seen

the real Santa Claus outside of Claymation.

He must be real. I follow his blog.

My brother saw him once!

He said his farts smell like candy canes!

I have doubts, serious doubts.

Yeah, I kind of look the other

way on Christmas Eve, you know?

Sure, he might commit a B&E or two,

but, um, his heart's in the right place.

Heard he got a makeover back in the '90s...

Shaved the beard,

hit the gym, dyed the hair.

Now walks among us undetected.

He could be anyone.

h*, h*, h*!

Anyone.

Oh, he's totally real.

We have evidence. We have the pipe.

Santa's pipe, the one you used to see

in all the pictures, we got it.

Uh-huh, it's true.

Santa's pipe is our family's

most cherished heirloom.

My uncle Charlie found it

sitting beside the Christmas tree

on Christmas morning a long time ago.

Uncle Charlie is totally the

coolest uncle that ever lived.

Yeah.

Back it up, back it up.

This baby is going to the moon.

Whoa. Oh! Charlie!

Everybody, run!

Scatter, scatter!

Run, run!

Trick or treat.

Yeah.

Don't use it on your brother.

Really?

There was this one Christmas,

Uncle Charlie gave me

the coolest gift ever.

Santa's pipe? For real?

Uncle Charlie,

you're giving me Santa's pipe?

Uh-huh, yeah, yeah.

I figured it was time to entrust

Santa's pipe to a true believer.

This is so awesome.

A genuine Santa Claus artifact.

It was the greatest

Christmas present I ever got.

I decided to share this incredible

evidence with the world.

In conclusion,

this pipe is irrefutable evidence...

That's not Santa's pipe!

It didn't go exactly as planned.

You can't handle the truth!

And that was just the beginning.

My life spiraled into a

nightmare of yuletide pranks.

Nonbelievers and Kringle deniers

ridiculed what I knew to be true...

That Santa Claus does exist.

I just have to prove it.

Hey, Christmas boy!

You're gonna regret this!

He knows what you're doing!

Be good for goodness sake.

That's when I decided to put together...

the team.

Okay, state your name and expertise.

Uh, I'm Zoey.

I'm a puker.

Not my title... just a nervous stomach.

Excuse me.

My expertise is coloring and decoupage,

but I'm better at coloring.

I mean your Santa Hunter expertise.

Oh. Mainly,

I hold the camera and push a red button.

I also bake the cookies.

I'm Richard, Alex's favorite

cousin and deputy Santa Smasher.

It's "Santa Hunter."

Whatev, dude.

I'm skilled in ninjitsu,

bottle-rocketology,

and various forms of

improvisational camouflage.

Can't see me, huh? Can ya?

Uh, yeah, I can.

I'm the founder and president

of my middle school's

ghost hunting and

cryptozoological studies club.

I also happen to be Alex's favorite cousin.

So,

I borrowed some equipment for winter break.

Night vision... motion detectors...

a sound dish... a boat horn.

How about now?

Yeah, I still see you over there.

What does that have to do

with scientific investigation?

It's a boat horn.

Sure, I have questions,

like why stuff candy in smelly old socks?

What's that about? Gross.

You can't consume that

many cookies in one night

without incurring serious

digestive ramifications.

Observe.

That's 7,630,000 cookie

calories in New Jersey alone,

and that doesn't even count the milk.

That's not human. Do the math.

Maybe he steals the toys like

some Christmas Robin Hood.

If he's stealing, he should be exposed...

and squashed!

Hiya!

Aah...

Mom!

Only comes out at night,

lives forever, commands flying animals.

Yep, totes vampire.

Just a theory. It doesn't make him bad.

I don't judge.

He could be the sparkly kind,

or maybe he only sucks the blood

of bullies or vice principals or hipsters.

Where's Richard, huh?

Seriously?

This Christmas, all I want is one thing...

To know there's something

worth believing in...

and DNA evidence.

We are the "Santa Hunters."

Our whole family gets

together every Christmas.

This year, the party is at our house.

Our mission...

obtain irrefutable video evidence of Santa.

There he is.

Merry Christmas.

Merry Christmas, sweetie. Love you.

A Claus encounter of the third kind.

Merry Christmas. Merry Christmas.

Hey, Richard,

you're really rocking that bow tie.

I'd wear a tutu if it got

me a go-kart for Christmas.

Hey, a man's gotta do

what a man's gotta do.

Men's underpants!

In my size.

All right, all right, who's number 12?

Zoey.

Nothin' to see here.

Just, uh, hanging ornaments.

Wait! Who wants eggnog!

Charlie!

Sorry we're late.

We almost didn't make it with all the snow.

Sis!

I didn't know that you

were bringing a friend.

More like hostage.

Yes, this is Natasha.

Nice to meet... Oh!

We're soul mates.

I mean, she really is the whole package.

She's smart, she's sophisticated,

eats pizza with a fork. Ah.

It's a serious relationship...

very, very grown-up. Mm-hmm.

Ooh! Even got a tattoo of

Natasha's favorite animal.

Oh!

Yeah, I know.

That's exactly how she reacted.

But I figured everybody loves unicorns,

right?

Oh, sure, sure, of course.

You know what? We are

just glad you're here.

We're going to, uh,

put you in Elizabeth's room.

Ah, yeah. Hope you don't mind bunk beds.

Hey!

You know what? No, no, no, we can't stay.

Um, Natasha booked a room at

the Pinebrooke Resort and Spa.

We're gonna be spending Christmas

Day getting couples waxed.

What?

Wow. Well, the kids will be disappointed.

Yeah, yeah, you know, Natasha's not really

a big kids person.

She's violently allergic to

Christmas trees and... and kids.

She's from Moosplaskistan.

Yeah, it's Eastern Europe.

They got weird stuff over there.

Ooh, almost forgot.

Got a couple presents for the kids.

Charlie... It's not much.

You know, I'm kind of

employment-challenged at the moment.

I had a couple of unfortunate

alarm clock malfunctions.

Turns out that doughnut

shops place a high priority

on waking up before... Before noonish.

I like to... Oh, Charlie.

No, no, no, it's good.

Just had to sell my comic

book collection and my...

My vintage action figures, but, um...

But, you know, it's all part of the...

The Charlie reboot, Charlie 2.0.

Well, 2.0 or 1.0,

we're just glad you're here.

Thanks.

We wish you a merry Christmas

And a happy New Year

Good tidings we bring

to you and your kin

Good tidings for Christmas

and a happy New Year

We wish you a merry Christmas

And a happy New Year

Where are you kids going?

Uh, we're going... caroling.

In the backyard?

Uh... For squirrels.

Squirrels.

Oh, all right.

Come on, guys, let's go to the tree house.

All right. Okay.

Zoey will be on the second floor.

I'll be by the secondary

tree in the family room.

Elizabeth and Richard will be...

Okay, guys, who ate Richard?

I did it. I confess.

I ate myself... for security reasons.

And I tasted good.

Zoey and I preset a few

strategic stationary cameras.

Hey.

Oh!

Once Santa's in the nest,

all exterior access will be locked down.

We sealed the windows earlier today.

Well...

Would you cut it out with the toys, please?

It's a drone. I'm a woman of science.

I don't play with toys.

All footage will be wirelessly transmitted

back to the command center

and stored on a field-ready

digital video recorder

much like the one we have here.

It's the same one they used on

"Sasquatch Stalkers."

Are we gonna be much longer?

I have to wee-wee.

There's cameras in each

of the first-floor rooms,

the foyer, the chandelier,

and in the Christmas tree.

h*, h*, h*!

h*, h*, h*! h*, h*, h*?

Isn't it too early for a "h*, h*, h*"?

h*, h*, h*!

Um... uh,

according to the "Sleigh-Dar" Santa Chaser,

uh, he should be around North Africa.

It's definitely not Santa.

h*, h*, h*, h*!

Alpine stations, people.

Go, go, go, go, go!

h*, h*, h*, h*!

Oh, man, the old tree

house is looking good.

Oh, uh, Mom wants you

kids back in the house

because Grandpa's about to break out

"'Twas the Night Before Christmas."

Oh... wow, look at that.

You kids planning a toy store heist?

No, we're just playing,

um, the, uh, Ginger Games.

Yeah, uh,

gingerbread men fight to the death.

Loser gets eaten.

Guys, we can tell Uncle Charlie.

He's one of us.

He's a true believer.

We're on a top-secret mission.

We're hunting San...

Charlie!

Oh, hey, snoopy-poopy!

You gotta come up here and

check out this tree house.

It is awesome.

I built this baby with my own two hands.

I can fix that.

I am not coming up there!

It's time to go.

I feel an infection coming on.

Okay, give... Give me a minute.

I'll come down, and we can...

We can talk about it, all right?

I miss you, milaya moya.

That's Moosplakistanian for "my sweet."

Or maybe it's "my stink."

I'm not real strong with the language.

Playtime's over!

Grown men don't play in house in trees!

But, baby...

Come down here now

before disease-infested

brats breathe germs on you.

Wow,

sounds like somebody needs to be visited

by the Ghost of Christmas Past,

Present, and Future.

All right, I'm coming down.

I gotta...

Merry Christmas, everybody.

Merry Christmas, Uncle Charlie.

Coming, baby.

When out on the lawn

there rose such a clatter,

I sprang from my bed to

see what was the matter.

Away to the window I flew like a flash,

tore open the shutters,

and threw up the sash.

The moon on the breast

of the new-fallen snow

gave the luster of midday to objects below.

Merry, merry Christmas.

You guys drive very safe...

So...

you kids must be all

excited about Santa coming.

Is that happening tonight?

What's Christmas?

I'm just really tired.

Well, off to bed.

Good night. Good night.

Merry Christmas.

Merry Christmas, guys.

Shh.

Hi.

Yeah.

Parent alert.

Come on, guys.

It's go time.

Let's do this.

Yeah.

Make sure you wear these at all times.

It's got a wireless spy

cam affixed to the base.

The earpiece is voice-controlled.

Make sure your body cams are on.

What is that?

It's my tiara cam.

It's functional... and super cute.

Locked and loaded, chief.

30 rounds of glow-in-the-dark paintballs.

Tag Santa with one of these

and he won't be able to hide in the dark.

You're definitely gonna sh**t your eye out.

Wireless hard drive is a 5-by-5, chief.

Everything as of right now is

being streamed and recorded.

All right, team, hunting season starts now.

Dining room cam, nothing.

Tree cam, boring.

Kitchen cam, nothing.

Aquarium cam... fish bubbles and fish poop.

And I've spun too much.

Living room's clear.

Slayer II in position.

You're not Slayer II. We discussed this.

Roger that, boss man.

Roger?

If he can be Roger, I wanna be Ariel.

Nobody's gonna be Ariel

or Roger or Slayer II.

This is science, people...

Normal names, science.

Cut it out! Tyrant.

How can I make science

with all this dysfunction?

Launching drone.

Okay, we're clear, no UFOs.

I'm going to set her down on the roof.

That explains his breath.

Whoa! Alex, I got something!

What? What is it?

A... A present.

Upstairs, laundry room.

It wasn't there before.

What? What are you waiting for?

You're the only one who

isn't guarding a perimeter.

You've gotta check it out.

What if it's a trap?

Zoey, man up.

You got this.

Ow!

Hm.

Whoa!

Zoey, what do you got?

A box...

a big, weird, creepy box with a bow.

I'm going in.

Zoey!

What's in the box, Zoey? What's in the box?

You should've seen your face.

Ha, ha.

Ow! Ow!

Ow, that hurts!

You're lucky I don't

wanna wake the parents up,

or I'd really give you

something to scream about.

Zoey, stop k*lling Richard.

Ow!

Get back here.

We got a bogey on the second-floor hallway.

Go, go, go!

Santa?

Code gray... I repeat, code gray.

Grandpa's headed right at you.

She's trapped.

Ohh...

Ew!

This is gonna be bad.

Grandpa ate three bowls of

Aunt Carol's Christmas chili.

It's burning my eyes.

Ooh! Ooh.

I don't wanna die like this.

We gotta get her out of there.

We can't compromise the mission.

I don't think I can ever hug Grandpa again.

Hang in there, soldier. Be strong.

None of us signed up for

biological warfare.

Oh, my gosh!

That smells. That smells.

That smells. That smells.

That smells.

Zoey, talk to me. Talk to me.

That smells. That smells. That smells.

I need to shower and bathe

and power-wash my eyeballs.

Ew! Now, the smell's on me!

What?

That's sector three...

Outside window above the porch.

Visualize the gingerbread, people.

It's him. He's here.

We've got nothing on surveillance.

He's coming up the stairs.

Look, he's in my room.

Lights!

Time for...

Lobo cam, yeah.

Lobo cam inserted.

We've got movement.

It's in my bed.

Why does it have to be in my bed?

Those sheets are 10,000

thread-count Egyptian cotton.

Stay on target.

Richard, recon. Zoey, you're my eyes.

What are you?

Natasha! What is go...

What... No, no, no. It's a toy.

Honey hugs, it's a toy.

It's... Look. It's... Look. It's just a...

It's just a nice little toy.

Look at that.

Who is behind this sick joke?

What's happening? Talk to me. Zoey!

Mission compromised. Fall back! Fall back!

What the figgy pudding

is going on out here?

You scared Natasha halfway to Arbor Day.

Charlie, is that you?

Please don't bust us, Uncle Charlie.

I can explain.

Uh, yeah, it's just us, Mom.

Uh, the roads were icy, so we came back.

Safety first.

I heard screaming.

Yeah, that was, uh...

That was just Natasha.

Yeah, yeah, Grandpa forgot to flush again.

Okay, glad you came back, honey.

All right. Night, Ma.

Thank you.

Look at what their hijinks has done.

I'm breaking out in hives.

It's... it's okay, snoogy-woogy.

It's... it's okay. Calm down.

I'll handle the kids.

This is how you handle kids.

Everyone to bed. You're grounded.

You can't ground us.

You don't have jurisdiction.

I'm an adult. I have implied powers.

No food, one month.

Wanna make it two? Okay, okay, hang on.

Hang on, snookums.

I'm sure the kids have a good reason

for whatever it is that they're doing.

We're conducting research.

Supernatural research.

Search and destroy.

We're on a Santa hunt.

A Santa hunt?

Coolness.

They're going... Nuh, hm... Yeah, no.

You can't hunt Santa. The man's unhuntable.

He's gone decades without getting caught.

Ooh, he's probably rocking some,

you know, some stealth technology or,

like, a...

Like,

a sled-cloaking device that no one can see.

Santa is a sham.

Blasphemy!

You don't know what you're talking about,

lady.

Oh, h*, h*, I know exactly

what I am talking about, child.

When Natasha was just a little girl,

she had one simple

request for Santa Claus...

A beautiful, pink princess doll.

Natasha was a good girl, very good.

Did she get what she wanted?

I'm gonna guess...

No! No, of course not!

Natasha found another doll

under the tree instead...

Military Mike.

Awesome toy! Sweet!

No, not sweet! Unsweetened.

I was the laughingstock of my village.

I blame this Santa Claus for my shame.

He owes me. Shame...

Kids, it's late.

But, Uncle Charlie,

we've got a real shot at this.

You're the reason for this

mission in the first place.

Remember?

Oh, yeah. We've got an extra headset.

We could use another true

believer on the team.

Yeah.

Santa, you're not gonna get away... Uh, no.

Look, you know what?

I am... I'm an adult, okay?

Charlie 2.0.

I'm just gonna...

All right, merry Christmas.

I'm coming. I'm coming.

You guys get all that?

Yeah, ow.

I never wanna end up on

Natasha's naughty list.

Maybe Uncle Charlie has a point.

Maybe we just can't hunt Santa.

I'm getting a little tired anyways,

and we have a big day ahead of us,

a day filled with presents and food.

Yeah. And did I mention

it's all about the presents?

Well, presents and... candy.

Are you all forgetting the

whole purpose of this mission?

It's to prove to people like that,

the nonbelievers, that they're wrong.

It was a good try, Alex, really good,

but it's time to shut it down

and take a long winter's nap.

Agreed.

Sorry, Alex.

Mission aborted.

Fine... go to bed.

Enjoy your dreams of sugarplum fairies.

If I gotta go lone wolf...

I'll go lone wolf.

I'm gonna see this thing through.

What's going on?

Christmas! It's happening. It's happening!

He's here.

I don't hear any foot...

Come on, guys, let's go!

The cookies, they're gone!

Lock it down. Lock it down now! Let's go!

Chimney secure. Repeat, chimney secure.

Front door secure.

Backdoor secure.

Windows are still glued shut.

Hunters, we have complete lockdown.

If he's here, he's trapped.

Whoa, whoa!

Zoey, talk to me.

We got a "Black Hawk Down"

sitch on the roof.

A what? Vixen is eating my drone!

That's an expensive piece of equipment,

and I don't have a gift receipt.

Hunters to battle stations.

This is real world, people, not a drill.

Creature is stirring.

Repeat, creature is stirring.

Santa tracks.

Code red, people.

We've got him.

Checking the tree.

No gifts, stockings empty.

Looks like he hasn't been here.

What?

What do you see, Santa One?

Santa One, do you copy?

Santa One, do you see any more tracks?

Booyah! We got him.

You want backup?

Negative. Hold positions.

I don't wanna scare him off.

Careful, Slayer I... In the wrong hands,

even a candy cane can be a lethal weapon.

His footprints led me the wrong way.

It's a trick!

A trick? Well, where is he?

Elizabeth... behind you.

I can't look. I can't breathe.

I might be having a heart attack

or a stroke or a heart a-stroke.

Please don't naughty-list me.

I'm a good girl, I do Girl Scouts,

I like ponies, I bedazzle.

Oh... my... Go...

I think I just swallowed my retainer.

Zoey, use your words.

The phenomenon's on the move.

At the fireplace.

No, wait. Richard, he's headed your way.

Swarm, swarm!

I've got eyes on target, people.

He's so strangely beautiful.

I feel weird,

like I'm gonna laugh and

cry and tinkle all at once.

Before you do any of that,

tag him with a glow ball so

we can see him in the dark.

Copy that.

Slayer in pursuit.

Be advised, Santa's got some wheels.

Oh... oh!

Whoa, the foyer! Go

through the dining room.

I'm jumping in.

I got this!

Uh-oh. Whoa, whoa.

Santa!

Santa? Ooh.

He's fast for a fat man.

Like some Christmas super-ninja.

I'm pretty sure I tagged

him with a glow ball

right in the jingle bells.

How much more trouble can we get into?

We still don't have any usable evidence.

He's mine.

Alex, wait!

Wait, where's Alex?

Alex?

I saw him.

It was Santa Claus. Duh.

I'm off to use water closet

when big man in red suit

runs right past me.

I hide under dirty laundry,

another humiliation.

What about Alex?

Where's Alex?

They went down the laundry chute?

It's madness, no?

How does red-clad,

plus-size bowl full of jelly

fit down that laundry chute?

But he did.

They're in the basement.

Who's in the basement?

Alex. Hey, buddy. Are you here?

Whoo! Alex!

Hey, Alex?

No way!

The mother lode.

I've got point.

Ooh, oh, presents!

Let's stay on mission, people.

Yeah, you're right,

you're right, you're right.

You're right, you're right, you're right.

Take that thing. Yeah.

Alex, buddy? Are you in there?

Alex? Aah!

Uncle Charlie? You okay?

Alex!

It's Alex's backpack.

He's down there. It's... it's deep.

It's, like, a pit.

But... but he's down there.

Zoey, what are you doing?

I'm getting my rescue on.

Elizabeth's too delicate,

and I'm Alex's favorite cousin.

Hold up, I'm Alex's number-one cuz.

You wanna do this, then?

Uh... I'm cool with two.

Less work.

Cannonball!

Whoa!

Grab the rope! Grab the rope!

Okay, oh, oh, ease her down.

Ease her down, Ease her down.

Alex?

Yep, down here.

You did bring a rope, right?

All over it.

Hey, cuz, I'm pretty sure a present for you

hit me in the ear earlier.

Oh, great.

What happened? Where's Santa?

Almost had him...

all the way down the laundry chute.

Then we hit the basement floor... hard.

He got loose.

All I could find was Santa's sack.

A lot of presents inside, as you can see.

So, I might have peeked inside,

maybe a little too far inside.

And you fell in.

And I fell in... yep.

Here, grab my hand.

Pull her up. Pull her up.

Whoa!

It's incredible,

like some "Alice in Wonderland" thing.

It's like an endless warehouse

of Christmas presents down there.

Was there anything for me in there?

Maybe a go-kart? I should look.

The sack, it's gone.

Where'd it go?

It's gone. It's gone!

He's got tools. He's going for the chimney.

Let's go!

Go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go.

He's going for the roof.

He's headed for the sleigh.

h*, h*, h*! Merry Christmas!

Oh, my golly goobers!

Let me see.

I... I... I got it. I got the close-up!

h*, h*, h*, h*, h*, h*!

Whoa!

Oh, boy! What's happening?

Um... Santa.

Santa! Santa!

Oh! Oh!

I think he went down over

there by the golf course.

Hunters, get your coats.

We're going on a recon mission.

It's go time.

I... I...

If Santa's dead, I'm totally

getting kicked out of Girl Scouts.

Well, I'm sure the trees broke his fall.

And then, there's the snow,

and his bowl full of jelly

would probably absorb most of the impact,

so...

We're gonna need a*tillery,

the heavy stuff...

Tasers or rocket launchers.

No rocket launchers. Get in the car, man.

What if he wants revenge?

Santa doesn't do revenge.

The dude makes a naughty list.

Making lists is, like, Revenge 101.

I'm out.

Guys, Santa's out in the cold.

He might be hurt.

After all he's done for kids,

for us, we owe him.

But keep the cameras rolling just in case.

You got the memory card ready?

Duh. All right, cool.

Natasha's coming. I'm coming. I'm coming.

I had to put my face on because of TV.

America, everything is reality show.

You... you're coming?

Yes, Charlie.

I mean, this is incredible, right?

I mean, I'm trying to keep

it together for the kids,

but when I saw those flying reindeer...

I peed myself a little.

No, uh, metaphorically.

Come on, come on. Come on, come on.

My lip gloss is freezing.

All right, seat belts.

Let's go get Santa!

Santa, Santa, Santa, Santa!

All right, all right, all right.

Here's the entrance to the golf course.

Come on, come on, come

on, come on, come on.

All right,

this is around where he went down,

so he could be...

He could be anywhere.

Stupid flashlight.

Anybody have any spare batteries?

Well, let me see.

Oh, hey, hey, hey.

You know, I've been meaning to tell you.

You know, I'm glad you're the

one taking care of this.

Why'd you give it to me?

You know, I thought a kid should have it,

someone who could still believe

in the true magic of it all.

Whoop!

Guys, guys, I have a visual!

Come on, let's go!

It's... it's...

The mothership.

Awesome!

We found it!

Oh, h*, h*!

Nice car!

Now, this... whoa...

Is a classic.

I smell something.

Something good.

Cookies!

Look at this!

Charlie, we need pictures.

Video. Lots of our own video.

Oh, baby, the kids got all sorts of videos.

It's all being uploaded back at the...

Ow!

Santa?

Well, this is awkward.

Whoa, oh... oh! Ooh!

Oh!

Oh, I got him. I got him. I got ya.

Ooh.

Oh.

That was a mighty one.

Oh, my gosh. Oh, my gosh. Oh, my gosh.

He's shorter than in the movies.

So, are we really sure it's him?

The belt buckle. Check out the belt buckle.

What fake Santa would

have that belt buckle?

Exactly. I think it's him.

There's no doubt.

It's him.

Uh, uh, uh, my name is, uh...

Alex!

He knows.

Alex, right, Alex!

My name's Alex, right? Yeah.

And we're the Santa Hunters. Yeah.

Aren't you a little old

to be Santa hunting?

Well, I'm a... I'm an honorary member.

See, I'm a kid at heart.

I don't have a uniform or anything.

It's just... just this.

I could use a hand.

Santa might've had a tad too many

of Mrs. Claus's snickerdoodles.

Finding it mighty hard to bend over.

h*, h*, h*, boy.

Oh... ah.

Oh, what happened? Where'd it go?

Oh, no.

It's happening.

What's going on? What's happening?

Great, now candy canes are blowing up.

That's because it's a Christmas candy cane.

I was afraid of this.

Me too.

What are we afraid of again?

Christmas's magic is weakening,

and I might be next.

Must have been what threw

the reindeer off course

and caused the crash.

See,

everything that has to do with Christmas,

well, it's in danger of shattering,

much like your candy cane, I'm afraid.

Uh, why is Christmas's magic weakening?

Yeah. Why?

Well, because of you.

Us? What?

I'm afraid so.

You see, children aren't

actually supposed to see Santa.

It's part of the Christmas rules.

That's why Santa has to

stay on the down-low.

Even if a few kids get a glimpse of me,

well, Christmas' magic lessens.

And then, that happens.

Oh!

In '72, two kids laid a

Polaroid trap for old Santa.

They only took one picture...

Blitzen's antlers... Poof!

Now he wears prosthetics.

Just looks weird.

I'll help you, Santa, or is it

Kris Kringle? Whatever you want.

Yes, this one right here.

Grab that one, and...

Oh, well.

More of those.

Aah!

Dudes, if this is what happens

from just seeing him...

What have I done?

Nothing yet,

but we can't let anybody see this video.

If it gets out, it would be...

Santa-geddon.

Childrens.

Have you all gone snow-crazy?

You're the Santa Hunters, yes?

Oh.

Big Kringle, he's just sore loser.

He's probably lying.

Whoa, what the... Did you see that?

Or not.

It doesn't matter.

No one has real video of Santa.

We can sell it. We'll be rich.

Plenty of people will pay for a

thousand Christmases, a million!

Natasha, baby, that...

That doesn't seem right.

Charlie, you can't even keep a job,

and I am woman of expensive taste.

We can finally get rid of smelly car.

Smelly? My baby? The classic?

Classic is American for "garbage."

Ow.

Just... just ow.

We're not selling anything.

Yeah.

This wasn't about money.

And now it's up to us to help Santa.

Mm-hmm.

Fine, have it your way.

We need to get back to the house,

get the drive, and erase all the footage.

Yeah, for sure.

But it will be mine.

Mush, you beasts!

She's going for the hard drive!

Oh!

She stole my sleigh!

I can fix this!

Natasha, what are you doing?

Faster! You can't steal Santa's sleigh!

This is stealing! This is looting!

Go! Go! Go!

This is not your sleigh!

What is wrong with these stupid reindeer?

Don't you fly?

This'll end Santa!

Good! Ha ha!

Who needs stupid Santa?

I can buy my own presents.

I will go back to Moosplaskistan,

live like queen, make villagers jealous.

I got a unicorn tattoo for you!

Baby... No, not the snowman!

Come on, baby, don't you...

Missed me!

h*, h*, h*, h*.

Come on, slow it down!

Aw, cookie crumbs.

We'll never beat her back

to the house on foot.

Come on, reindeer, fly.

That's right, you dumb reindeer, fly!

The sidewalk! Mush, mush!

Slow down, slow down, slow down.

Natasha, we can make this work, baby.

Slow down.

You can't steal a sleigh!

Faster!

This is Santa's. This is not your sleigh.

This is Santa's sleigh.

Give it back to Santa.

This is not yours.

I finally get the Christmas

I've always wanted!

Natasha's Christmas!

Mush! Mush!

Natasha! Faster!

Come on, baby, this is crazy!

Are you sure you know what you're doing?

How hard can it be?

Grandpa drives,

and he can't even zip up his pants.

Merry Christmas! h*, h*, h*, h*, h*!

Natasha!

What is wrong with you, stupid reindeer?

What is wrong with you?

Fly! No!

Whoa!

Fly!

Oh, this is what I need, the fly button!

Ooh! Ooh! Ooh!

Ohh!

Don't try this at home, people.

Oh!

That's why we wear seat belts, people.

Don't tell Uncle Charlie I ex*cuted

that entire chase with

the emergency brake on.

Come on, let's go!

Whoa.

The reindeer broke free!

There goes the reindeer without the sleigh.

She must've pressed the

reindeer-release button.

This is bad. This is very bad.

Speaking of bad, where's Natasha?

Backdoor!

It's locked!

She locked us out.

Why would she lock us out?

It's cold out here! Not really.

You know what she's doing up there, right?

If she gets her hands on the

command center's hard drive...

And shows the footage to the world...

Christmas is ruined...

forever.

h*, h*, no!

Okay, okay, okay, hold on.

Wait!

Maybe I can hack into the

command center's network

from my laptop and erase everything

remotely before she downloads it.

The tree house!

We've gotta erase that footage!

Hello.

Ooh, ooh.

Ooh!

Oh!

I still can't believe it.

Is this really real?

Yes, it is real,

and that's causing some real pain,

my friend.

Guys, leave Santa alone.

Zoey, give me some good news.

It's too late. Our files

have been breached.

She's got everything.

Now what is she gonna do?

What was that?

The ladder!

Oh!

Natasha! Baby, this is crazy.

It's Christmas Eve.

These kids should be in bed.

Look, just put up the ladder.

We'll all come down.

We can discuss this over some hot cocoa.

I'll put some marshmallows

in there for you.

You like that.

Oh, it's too late for marshmallows,

Chuckles.

I have a lottery ticket to cash.

Oh, and I will be traveling

in your precious classic

for its very last ride.

Have a good life.

Well,

it's hard to go anywhere without the keys.

And you're not gonna get a ride.

It's Christmas,

and it's a long walk back to the city...

A lot of wear and tear on those heels.

Okay.

Okay, okay.

In the spirit of the Christmas,

we can do an exchange of the gifts.

You throw down keys, and I put up ladder.

Listen, kids, if you can buy me some time,

I think I figured out a

way for us to get down

even without my magic.

Sure. Everybody, Operation Arctic Thunder.

Snowballs, guys,

we're gonna throw snowballs.

- Oh.

- Come on, let's go!

What are you waiting for, Christmas?

The car key, give it to me.

You heard the lady. Give it to her.

Nice one, Richard! Ah... ah!

Not the face. Not the face! Hey!

Ankle-biting monsters!

I got your fancy coat too!

Nice one, Zoey.

I got her lip gloss.

I got your hair!

I got her shoes! Awesome!

Looks like Charlie 2.0 gets the last laugh.

Oh! No!

Uncle Charlie, really?

Thank you.

That's what you kids

might call an epic fail.

Don't worry, Santa's got this.

Santa might be down, but he's never...

Ooh!

Santa!

Oh! Uh-oh!

Oh! Santa!

I'm okay. Just my spleen.

He's okay. He's okay.

Um, a little help with the ladder.

Go, come on, come on. Let's go.

Alex, she's going for the classic.

We'll never make it in time.

Zoey, go for drone.

Roger that, boss. Roger that.

Yes!

Yeah! Get her! Get her!

Oh, you stupid, evil, flying toy.

Oh!

Ha ha! Oh...

Natasha?

The pretty ponies are dancing.

Isn't she beautiful when she's sleeping?

Oh, h*, h*, h*, h*, h*, h*, h*, h*!

Oh, yes, yeah.

Hm, well...

Hey! Guys, there's some good news.

Whoa. We have the hard drive.

Whoo! Yeah!

But there's still some bad news.

Oh!

Ooh!

It's getting worse.

Christmas is disappearing.

This is not good.

Oh, Santa.

Oh, I'm feeling weaker.

Oh, man, I've destroyed Christmas.

You were just trying to share

Santa with everyone else.

What's wrong with that?

No, I was trying to prove that I was right.

That's a total naughty-list move.

I mean, you don't have to prove anything.

Christmas is what you make of it.

You don't need videos or DNA evidence.

You just need a little... Belief.

Belief.

Belief is not limited by the impossible.

It's belief that makes

the impossible happen.

Belief, that's it!

The magic is believing.

Oh... Oh, boy.

Hold on.

And I believe we gotta get Santa here

back to doing what Santa does best,

all right?

It's getting late.

Hate to be O Tannen-bummer,

but we don't even have

reindeer for the sleigh.

Santa isn't going anywhere.

All right, come on. We'll figure it out.

Come on, come on, come on, come on.

Huh, I don't reckon that this thing

can, uh, fly without reindeer.

You reckon correctly.

But I remember back in the day

the elves built a fancy engine

just in case anything

happened to the reindeer,

like back in '62, when Dasher brought back

a terrible case of diarrhea,

and the whole team caught it.

Oh, my gosh.

Oh, the mess.

You can't unsee things like that.

Anyhoo, the fancy engine needs a key,

which I lost in a blizzard some years ago.

A key?

Yes, a funny-looking thing.

It was supposed to fit right here.

Huh. I recognize that shape.

Me, too, but why?

The key, what did it look like?

Well, it was a curvy thing about yay big.

No way.

Did it look anything like...

this?

h*, h*, h*!

h*, h*, h*... Oh, my key!

Oh, a key.

That pipe is your key?

Oh, a pipe, heavens no, heavens no.

Common misconception. Santa never smoked.

Oh, I can't believe you found my key.

Oh!

So, I am way behind,

and I could use all the help I can get.

Oh, yeah, let's... Oh, yes, yes!

Come on, get in there.

This is crazy, even for me,

and I'm Santa Claus. h* h*!

Tonight's been insane.

We met Santa, saw reindeer fly.

We're in Santa's sleigh.

I mean,

nothing's impossible as long as we believe.

Mm, it's not going. Something's missing.

Christmas fuel.

What?

Have you people learned nothing tonight?

Believe, believe, believe.

Believe, believe, believe,

believe, believe.

Oh, h*, h*, h*, h*, h*!

We're flying!

This sure beats looking at reindeer butts,

huh?

And this baby is a classic.

All right, everyone, aim for the chimneys.

Christmas magic will take care of the rest.

Here you go!

Santa, check it... Sky hook.

h*, h*!

You got skills to pay the bills.

Great!

We're almost back on schedule.

It's working. The magic's coming back!

The more presents we deliver,

the stronger it gets.

Exactly.

Who wants to help Santa land this thing?

I do, I do, I do!

Come on, let's go.

Come on over! Gotcha.

h*, h*, home sweet home.

What did we just do? Thank you, everyone.

I thought the turbulence over Australia

would surely be the end of us.

I didn't think we were ever... Ohh...

What about Natasha?

We can fix this.

Oh!

Merry Christmas, milaya moya.

Shh.

Well, thank you for helping

me bring the magic back.

I couldn't have done it without you.

I always believed, and I always will.

Good.

Merry Christmas, Santa Hunters.

Oh, that reminds me.

I think it's time for a name change.

Carrots?

Carrots.

I heard that dang bunny

is impossible to catch.

Oh, h*, h*, h*, h*, h*!

Bye! Good-bye.

Merry Christmas! Bye, Santa.

h*, h*, h*! h*, h*, h*!

Good-bye, Santa!

Bye!

I never got to ask him what "h*,

h*, h*" meant.

Alex, we forgot to give Santa

the hard drive with all the footage on it.

What?!

Now what do we do?

Uh, I don't know. It's up to us.

I guess we could just smash it.

Hey.

I never did have a chance to use this.

Have at it.

Aw, yeah!

That's a $200 hard drive.

Come on.

Oh, blerg, it's Christmas.

Yeah!

Okay, go, go, go.

Hey, hey, kids! Hey, it's Christmas.

That's weird. Usually they're the ones

waking me up on Christmas morning.

Well, go on up. Go see what's up.

All right, thanks. Mm-hmm.

Hey, guys?

Come on, sleepyheads.

Kids.

Santa came.

Kids?

Elizabeth... time for presents.

Give 'em to charity.

You're letting in the cold.

Guys.

Give us another hour...

or six.

The paint marks, they're gone.

The tree's back up.

Christmas is, like, normal again.

Wonder what we got.

I hope coffee...

gallons and gallons of coffee.

Merry Christmas!

Oh, my gosh!

I've lost all ability to speak.

A new tiara.

Cool.

And it matches my pajamas.

I've got to go find a mirror.

A new hard drive with unlimited storage?

No way!

Merry Christmas, Alex.

Always believe.

Huh.

So, I guess the tradition continues, huh?

Oh, my gosh, this is awesome.

Hey, guys, come on!

You will not believe this.

The classic, it's...

Classic.

How 'bout we give the

cameras a break this year?

Cut!