02x21 - Call of Lunch Duty

[bunniefuu]

- Phoebe Thunderman's
journalism class topic--

"Gum Chewing Habits in a Typical
Suburban High School."

[scraping gum]

- [gum splats]

- Phoebe, did you just
spit your gum at me?

- No, Winnie, I would
never do that.

It was somebody else's gum.

I'm doing this fascinating
article on gum chewing.

- By "fascinating"
do you mean "gross"?

- Yeah.

Can I have your gum?

- Don't take this
the wrong way...

...but no.
[pats shoulder]

- I'm starting think
this was a bad idea.

[sighing]
- Hi, Phoebe.

This is for your dumb
gum project.

Ah!

- Help me come up with a new
story for journalism class.

If my article gets on the cover
of the school newspaper,

it's a guaranteed "A".

- Oh, I've got the perfect
headline--

"Handsome Brother Walks Away."

Hey, Rebel Raptor's
struck again.

Whoever's making these
has really captured

Bradford's stink lines.

- STUDENTS: [laughing]

- Stop laughing!

I am sick of these posters.

This has been going
on for weeks.

What? Oh! You!

- Hey, hey, before
you accuse me,

I want you to know I did not
do this, all right?

I was home all night.

Ask Phoebe.

- Hello, High School
Janitors of America,

um, can I please speak to
your scraped gum division?

- Max in the house!

- Quiet, Max.

Sorry, that was my brother.
He is dumb as a board.

It's true, Principal Bradford.

Max was home all night while
I worked on my article

on gum chewing habits
in a typical suburban--

- Don't care!

When I catch this Rebel Raptor,
they're gonna get

the worst punishment
this school has to offer.

- What? Being principal
for a day?

- They're gonna spend
the rest of high school

workin' the lunch line!

- Max, the Rebel Raptor.
That's it.

It's the perfect article.

If I can find out who he is,

it'll get me the cover
and the "A".

- And I'd better not see another
one of these posters of me!

- STUDENTS: [laughing]

- ♪

♪ What you see ♪

♪ Is not what you get ♪

♪ Livin' our lives
with a secret ♪

♪ We fit right in ♪

♪ Bet you never guessed ♪

♪ 'Cause we're
livin' our lives ♪

♪ Just like all the rest ♪

♪ A picture
perfect family ♪

♪ Is what we try to be ♪

♪ Look closer,
you might see ♪

♪ The crazy things we do ♪

♪ This isn't
make believe ♪

♪ It's our reality ♪

♪ Just your average family ♪

♪ Trying to be normal
and stay out of trouble ♪

♪ Livin' a double life ♪

- How is your Rebel Raptor
search going?

- Great. I made a list of
everyone at school

with the skills to pull
off these stunts

and summoned them here.

- Hm, and he's the only
one who showed up?

- Yep.

- So this isn't a date?

- No.

- Can it be?
- No!

- Your loss, baby.

- Phoebe, I don't know how

you're gonna find out
who this guy is.

You should just give up.

- You don't get "A"'s
by giving up, Max.

You have to work hard.

I mean, pffft, it's not
like the Rebel Raptor

is gonna contact me.
- [text tone chimes]

- It's a message
from the Rebel Raptor!

All my hard work
finally paid off.

- You didn't do anything.

- Um, I don't have the time to
explain journalism to you.

Wait, it says he wants to
do an interview with me

to tell his story,

but only if I keep
his identity a secret.

Pffft, it's a deal.

- Would chocolates
change your mind?

- No!

- Is your mom home?
- Get out!

- ♪

- MAN ON VIDEO: Aliens
are everywhere.

They could be in your city,
your neighborhood,

or even sitting
right next to you.

- [dramatic music]

- BOTH: Ahhhhhh!

- What's going on?

- Billy's an alien!

- That's what an alien
would say!

- Okay, I told you guys
to stop watching these videos.

There's no such thing
as aliens.

- Aw, it's just a little
harmless fun, Barb.

What's the worst
that can happen?

- Show your face, alien!

- Whoa! Whoa! Whoa!
Okay! Okay!

Guys, your mom is right.

There's no such
thing as aliens.

But have you ever heard
of the chubacabra?

- Hank!

Now no more ripping each other's
faces off, you got it?

- [screeches like "alien"]

- Okay, maybe you're
not an alien,

but do you know who is?

That weird guy who sells
pretzels at the mall.

- It's so true.

Let's see what he's
hiding under that paper hat.

[zooming]

Hair. He was hiding hair.

- [whimsical suspenseful music]

- Rebel Raptor, I'm alone,
like you asked.

- [electronic voice]
Why are you dressed

like a black and white movie?

- I'm a hard-hitting reporter
with a nose for news.

- You're in a journalism
class taught by the gym teacher.

- Now, tell me, how did
you come up with your name--

Rebel Raptor?

- There are certain
things about my legend

that must remain
shrouded in mystery.

- WOMAN: Why is it
so dark in here?

- Mom, you totally ruined
my shrouded mystery!

- BARB: Oh, I'm sorry, sweetie.

Who are you talking to?

Oh, hey, Phoebe.

Why are you dressed
like a black and white movie?

- You're the Rebel Raptor?

How are you
the Rebel Raptor?

You were home every night.
I saw you.

- Did you really see
me, though?

- Hello, High School
Janitors of America,

um, can I please speak to
your scraped gum division?

- Max in the house!

- Quiet, Max.

Sorry, that was my brother.
He is dumb as a board.

- [cut-out thudding]
- COLOSSO: [laughing]

[laughing]

He's not the only dummy!
[laughing]

- Come on, Max, there's no way
that could have really happened.

- COLOSSO: [laughing]

It's too easy!
[laughing]

- Ah!

- Phoebe, you cannot tell
anyone I'm the Rebel Raptor.

Bradford'll make me
work the cafeteria

and wear a hair net.

You can't cage this mane!

- All right, relax, Max.

I--I gave you my word

and superheroes
always keep their word.

- Thank you.

- But I also want that "A".
- Oh, here's the catch.

- You're gonna give me
an exclusive photo

with the Rebel Raptor before
his next poster goes up.

- And you'll blur my face?

- I do that with
all your photos.

- All right, I'll do it.

- Great!
Now, first question...

- Max!
[sighing]

- Be right down.
Just getting a sandwich.

- Do you see any aliens yet?

- Ah! Flying saucer
shaped like the moon!

- That is the moon,
Gali-lamo.

- At least I'm
trying to find aliens.

All you did was make
tuna casserole.

- That's alien bait.

They like human brains,

so I made some from noodles
and white cat food.

- [food splatting]

- Ew, noodles!

- [screechy singing]

- What was that?

- That's the noodles talkin'.

- [screechy singing
continues]

- It's coming from
Mrs. Wong's house.

- [screechy singing
continues]

Huh?

Huh!
[growling]

- Mrs. Wong's an alien
and she saw us.

Run!
- BILLY: [zooming]

- Why did I get
the laser eyes?

- I'm telling you--
we saw an alien.

- Uh-huh. Whose hair
did you rip out this time?

- We were wrong
about Pretzel Pete.

But we're right
about Mrs. Wong.

- Just because she's completely
void of human emotion

doesn't make her an alien.

- But she has a huge
bug head--like...

- Okay, now you're
just being mean.

No more alien talk
and that's final.

- Now, I'm gonna go have
more of that delicious

tuna noodle casserole
your mom made.

- I didn't make
a tuna noodle casserole.

- Hey, did you get
the cover story?

- Yep, and the "A".

This is so great.

- No, I'm so great.

Check it out.
Less attractive copy cats.

Ah, I remember my first
act of vandalism.

- Phoebe, your article
was amazing.

The Raptor's such a bad boy.

Was he cute?

- He certainly thinks so.

- Well, you can give
us all the deets

when you sit with us
at lunch today.

- Definitely.
See ya soon.

This day could not get better.

- Tell me who
the Rebel Raptor is now!

- But it could get worse.

- The name.

- All right, Principal Bradford,
the truth is...

I can't tell you.

- Phoebe, how could you?
Wait! What?

- I promised my source
that I would protect them

and I don't break
my promises.

- [silently]
Thank you.

- Phoebe, I have to say that

I am impressed with
your integrity.

- Really?
- No.

Either you tell me who
the Rebel Raptor is

or I will make you Hiddenville
High's newest lunch lady.

- You're bluffing.

- [elastic snapping]

- Okay, you can
stop bluffing now.

- [laughing]

- [food splatting]
- Next.

Hey, Winnie! Look who's got
the hook up for ya.

Extra--

whatever this is.

- Uh, I was just
gonna have the salad.

- I think this is the salad.

- So, I guess we won't be having
lunch together, Phoebe.

- Well, I mean, unless you guys
wanna come sit over here.

I can flip over
that mop bucket.

Yeah, I just heard myself.
Go enjoy your life.

- I can't believe
I used to go out with you.

- Hey, Phoebe, I just wanna--
- Make fun of me?

Go right ahead.

- No, I'm not here to
make fun of you.

I'm here to thank you
for keeping your word.

And now that I'm
done with that--

what's living on your face?

- It's a mole.

Gladys says you sprout one
the moment you tie on the apron.

- And we are
"Sisters of the Mole."

- [silently]
Help me.

- Gladys!

The students are rebelling.

Look at what they've
done to me.

- Ha! Ha!

You are garbage face!

[cackling laughter]

- Ah. Ready to tell me who
the Rebel Raptor is?

- I'm sorry, Principal Bradford,
I told you I can't.

- Then you get
to keep your job.

- Now make me hot dogs
by the end of the day.

- What? But I'll
miss fifth period.

- Oh? Oh, is that when
you take history of--

just do what I say!

- That's strange.

Why would Bradford
need hot dogs?

What do you think he's hiding?

- I don't know--
a second stomach?

- No, I mean,
he's up to something.

And if you can figure
out what it is...

- ...then I can use
it against him

and get out of
this cafeteria!

All right, how are we gonna
find out what he's hiding?

- We? You mean you and the mole?
'Cause I'm out.

- What? Seriously?

I'm covering for you
and you're not gonna help me?

- Phoebe, if I helped you,

that would make your
self-sacrifice meaningless

and I can't do that to you.

[chomping apple]

[mouth full of apple]
Good luck.

- If these cool hats don't
protect us from aliens,

at least Thunderman
and Electriss will.

- BARB: All right, kids,
we'll be back soon.

We're going out for a run.

- What?

- That's what I said
when your mom suggested it.

- You guys can't
leave us alone.

- Don't worry, Max is here.

- Thank goodness
we're not totally alone.

- MAX's VOICE:
Max in the house.

- [cut-out thudding]

- HANK: [grunting]
Oh, come on.

- Hello, Thundermans.

Look what I have.

- Oh, Barb, you ordered
a pizza for our run?

[sniffling]
You really get me.

- No, Hank.

Mrs. Wong, what are
you doing here?

- I'm trying a new "Alien"
theme for my restaurant.

This is my
U-F-Oh-so-good pizza.

I came to do a taste test.
- HANK: Mmmmm!

- [slaps hand]
Not you!

You like everything.

- But not everyone.

- I want your kids to tell
me if it tastes delicious--

or like something
you'd cook.

- Hey, my wife made
a great tuna noodle casserole.

- I didn't make a casserole.

Well, go ahead, Mrs. Wong.
Billy and Nora love pizza

and they won't stop
talking about aliens.

- Feel free to
pick their brains.

- Wait, they like aliens?

Then they'll love
my new uniform.

- [door latch clicking]

- There, I've locked every
door in the house.

Now no aliens can get in.

- I'll do it, too,
just to be safe.

[zooming]
- [locks clicking]

- And now they're
double-locked.

- You just unlocked
all the doors I locked.

- [knock at door]

- It's open.

- [spooky music]

- Hello, Earthlings.

Get ready for a close encounter
of the "Wong" kind.

- BOTH: Ahhhhhh!

- [heavy thud]
- [groaning]

Good thing nobody
saw that.

- Oh, I saw that.

- Phoebe, what are
you doing in here?

- Well, I snuck back
in so I could

follow those hot dogs and see
what Bradford is up to and--

wait a minute!

Did you sneak into
school to help me?

- What? No, I'm not
helping you.

The Rebel Raptor snuck in
to get dirt on Bradford

for his latest poster.

Totally different.

- Yeah, right. You came
here to help me.

You act like you're--
- Shhhh!

Someone's coming.

That's not Bradford.

But he's our lead
in finding his secret.

Come on!

- All right, get
ready to see--

good grief, what
am I looking at?

- CROWD: [shouting
encouragement]

- YELLOW MAN: [squawking]

- The champion has
the challenger

locked in the dreaded
"pinky swear."

- YELLOW MAN: [squawking]

- [heavy thud]
- CROWD: Oh!

Oh!

- One...two...
- YELLOW MAN: [squawking]

- MODERATOR: ...three!
- [bell ringing]

- CROWD: [cheering]

- YELLOW MAN: [screaming]

- The winner and reigning
champion,

the Duke of Detention,

the Sultan of Suspension.

- Does Bradford know there's
an ill*gal wrestling club

in the school at night?

- Principal Pain!

- [laughing]
- CROWD: [cheering]

- PHOEBE: I'm guessing yes.

- Bradford is a wrestler?

His life outside the school
is inside the school.

That is so sad.

- Yeah, but a picture of
Bradford holding

an underground wrestling match

will get me off
lunch lady lane.

Oh, I've gotta get
that mask off.

[powers zapping]

Great, it's stuck
on his fat head.

How am I gonna get it off?

- You're not.

I am.

When I beat him in the ring.

- Aha! I knew you
were here to help me.

- Okay, fine.
I'm here to help you.

You stood up for me.
Kept my secret.

I owe ya one.

Now slap me!
- What? To get you psyched?

- No, for helping you.

- [sharp slap]
- Oh! Thanks.

Now it's time to
body slam Bradford.

- You realize
that's a jock strap.

- [yelping]
Ughhh!

- [spooky "alien" music]

- Where are you,
my little test subjects?

Get out here so I can
pick your brains.

- Nora, I'm gonna jump out.

While Wong picks my brain,
you go save yourself.

- That's nice of you, Billy,

but I don't think your brain's
gonna buy me much time.

- So, what are we gonna do?

- Remember who we are.

- Terrified children--

who may have soiled
their underwear?

- No, superheroes.

I'll distract the Wong

while you super-speed
tie her up.

- Come on, kiddies, I've got
something for you

that's out of this world.

- Die, space creep!

- Ah!

Ah! I can't see!

- BILLY: [zooming]

Finish her, Nora.

- [powers zapping]
- Kids, stop!

What are you doing?

- Mrs. Wong's a creepy alien
and tried to pick our brains!

So, ET is about
to go to the ER!

- BARB: No!

Mrs. Wong is not an alien.

She was just thinking of having
an alien-themed restaurant.

Apparently, with costumes.

- She just wanted you kids
to try her new pizza.

- Not any more, jerks!

You kids are crazy!

And your breath
smells like cat food.

- You put cat food
in your casserole?

- I didn't make a casserole!

- But, wait, we heard alien
noises coming from your house.

- What alien noises?

The only sound coming
from my house

is my beautiful singing.

- [screechy singing]
- Finish her, Nora!

- [powers zapping]
- BARB: [covering Nora's eyes]

- [screechy singing
continues]

- All right, which one
of you is loco enough

to take on Principal Pain?

- I'm so ready!

Get ready, old man,
'cause you're about to be--

- BRADFORD: [roaring]
- MAX: [screaming]

- BOTH: [grunting]

- [heavy thud]
- MAX: Whoa!

- MODERATOR: Ooh, the champion
is taking the challenger

to pretzel town.

- All right, Principal Pain,
time for a little payback.

[powers zapping]

- BRADFORD: [screaming]

- It looks like this challenger
has some fight in him.

- [powers zapping]

- MODERATOR: Look at
this high-flyer.

I haven't seen moves like this

since The Flying Squirrel
fought Andrew Craig.

- Get ready,
you big-headed goon,

'cause this is gonna hurt.

Hey! Hey, I can't see!

Down in front!
down in front!

- MAX: Oh!
- [heavy thud]

- Uh-oh, looks like
Principal Pain's gonna

send him to the school nurse.

- Nice try, pal.

But you're about to
be expelled!

- MAX: [screaming]

- And the challenger
is down!

One...two...

- Not so fast!

- MODERATOR: Another mystery
wrestler has entered the ring.

Looks like this
challenger's a tag team.

If there were rules,
this would be ill*gal.

- Thanks. Ready to do this?

- PHOEBE & MAX: [roaring]

- Okay, I'm really surprised
at how good he is at this.

- MODERATOR: Principal Pain
is outside the ring

looking for something.

- What's he looking for?
What's he looking for?

- He's found it--
The "Board" of Education.

- Okay, there really
should be some rules.

- CROWD: [shouting
encouragement]

- [roaring]

- [powers zapping]
- [hot dog wiener zooming]

- Oh!

Oh, my back.

- MODERATOR: One...two...

three!
- [bell ringing]

- CROWD: [cheering]

- That was the most
electrifying match

in underground school
wrestling history.

Who are our new champions?

- I am the Rebel Raptor!

- I knew it!

- And I...

Am the Lunchador!

- Oh! Oh!

- Take me off the lunch line

or I'll send this picture
to the real Board of Education.

- [growling] Fine!

Man, I hate your family!

- Wow. So who gets
to keep the championship belt?

- Uh, I do 'cause I helped
you and saved your butt.

- What are you talking about?
I saved your butt.

- No, I want this.
- Gimme it.