1x05 - Dare Devil

[bunniefuu]

[In the living room of the Waldorf]

Gossip Girl (Blair and his servants preparing the evening): Nate being party to help Chuck's father to close his yacht for the season, B. has plenty of time to devote himself to the most important event of the fall: his sleepover. A tradition must! Each year surpassing the previous in terms of decadence. Reputations are made as quickly as they come apart. As for the budget, it is unlimited! Of bed linen glittering grand buffet, nothing is missing except the best friend of Blair, the chief star of sleepovers, I named S. Van Der Woodsen!

[At the Art Gallery of Rufus]

Dan: Dad, I'm going to the bank. You want me to deposit the check from Mom while I'm there? (Shakes a bag filled with coins)

Rufus: Tell me, you've robbed a parking meter?

Dan: Nah, I finally decided to break the bank that you gave me for my 10 years. It can not be both a man and still have a piggy bank! It was time for me to k*ll the pig in china!

Rufus: So it's finally the big night?

Dan: Yeah, and I planned everything. (Looking at his bag filled with coins) An evening that will weigh three pounds in order to nose!

Rufus: I know my hot date back to last for ages but I can not believe that cinema has risen to that point!

Dan: I'm going out with Serena Van Der Woodsen, I can still not take her to the movies! I want it to be as exceptional evening! Uh ... the check, you want me to file it? (Rufus looks away) You still have not told him. Dad, this is the first time she sells a painting, you would still have prevented, it is not nothing to it!

Rufus: I know, suddenly I thought it would be a good idea to surprise her. I intend to go to Hutson give him the check in person.

Dan: Um.

Rufus: What? The good news is better to announce the opposite, right?

Dan: It's quite the opposite. If she sees you land it may concern.

Rufus: You're saying that, uh ... you have not let me go, huh?

Dan: I'm saying that mom is not a big fan of surprises. You remember this, that famous anniversary with the clown and his llama?

Rufus: Yes ... I Pfou, I really screwed up, huh.

Dan: Total!

Rufus: Hmm. Oh, uh ... a phone call before it is not luxury.

Dan: (shaking his bag filled with coins) Do you need money?

[In the halls of Constance]

Serena: Jenny! If there's someone good who can help me it's you! I think I'll go crazy, I'm doing. J'me poses full of questions! Your brother something simmering for tonight and I can not know.

Jenny: My brother is a very mysterious guy, you had not noticed?

Serena: Wait, I even know where he wants to go. You did not have a clue to me spinning? You think he'll take me to a club to listen to obscure group denies that nobody knows or, or an exhibition of painting underground in Brooklyn, or ... Oh, is this-that the film festival has already begun ?

Jenny: You leave little room for surprises you!

Serena: I do not know how to loll for surprises. I always put the reverse of what is necessary!

Jenny: Well, jeans and a tee shirt that will be impeccable '! In the family we dress very relaxed all day!

Serena: Hmm ... (his phone rings) [/ i] Oh, he's my brother!

Jenny: Kiss him!

Serena (on phone): Eric! Are you okay? Jenny kiss you!

Eric (on phone): I kiss too! Thou hast torn the news?

Serena (on phone): No! Not one. So, where are you in?

Eric (on phone): My bags are ready to go.

Serena (on phone): And hey, is this-that mom is still there?

Eric (on phone): Yes, she is talking with the doctor. I can not believe that I still go for the weekend! What is it like a weekend? I even remember! What time you go out? It would be nice crosses.

Serena (on phone): At 7 o'clock. I look forward to seeing you.

Eric (on phone): Me too! Bye!

Serena (on phone): I love you much! At any time!

Blair: What-I learn? Eric to leave, it falls great!

Serena: How so?

Blair: Well, your mother and your brother can dine face to face while we will make you crazy by showing our a*s behind the tinted windows of the limo!

Serena: B. What are you talking there?

Blair: In the most important event of the season.

Serena: Oh, the sleepover!

Blair: I prefer short evening. Sleepover sounds a bit too adolescent.

Serena: You know I could not be there, I have something tonight.

Blair: S. ! When the Waldorf are a party, you go without asking any question.

Serena: I'm with Dan tonight. You know, the one you took so long to be considered as a human being worthy of your attention. Sorry, uh ...

Jenny: Nah, that's nothing!

Serena: Look, I want it hot date but it is untouchable. Finally, maybe we will later make a cuckoo!

Blair: Nah, nah it will not be possible! I hate the cuckoos. So if you refuse to come, I'll have to find you a replacement. Pass me the waiting list!

Serena: Okay, good! I must go. See ya!

Jenny: Good luck tonight.

Serena: Thank you!

Blair: Little Jenny Humphrey! Why I have not thought of it sooner! If you got anything planned, I invite you to my evening.

Jenny: I? Are you sure?

Kati & Isabel: She! Are you sure?

Blair: Only one thing: if you come, will have to prepare yourself to do anything but sleep!

Jenny: I'm ready for anything!

Blair: My flat ', 19 am sharp!

Jenny: Okay. See you later!

Blair: Hmm ... Oh, his first sleepover! She is not ready to forget it, we finally do the right thing.

A friend of Blair (1): I wonder how long it will take.

A friend of Blair (2): 50 dollars it takes 1 hour absolute maximum!

[In the room of Eric Ostrov]

Eric: Wait, I do not understand. He told me that I was ready, we talked about it this morning during my session.

Lily: What he said was that you could go home, not that you had to go.

Eric: But Mom, you promised!

Lily: I do not want to argue about it. I need to think about.

Eric: If you-like-.

Lily: It's not a decision I take lightly. It does not come out of here like this, hands in pockets. There's papers to be signed, forms to fill, insurance ...

Eric: It's not possible! You wanna lock me here forever?

Lily: If you continue to believe that it is I who shut in here, this is proof that you are not yet ready to be autonomous. We'll talk tomorrow, okay?

Eric: Yeah, yeah we'll talk.

[In the living room of the suite of Van Der Woodsen]

Serena: Hi!

Dan: Hi! (Looking at the casual dress of Serena) Uh ... I'm ahead or? Hmm ...

Serena: Hmm ... Nah, nah, nah! I ... It is I who am late. Come in! Uh ... I surrender one second time to go put on something a little less comfortable.

Dan: Sure, yes, yes!

Serena: You're entitled to talk to me while I change.

Dan: I hesitate.

Serena: Okay.

Dan: It's pretty cool that little furnished, that you share with 800 other roommate!

Serena: Yeah, well when you live at the hotel you turn round quickly after a time, eh! Sometimes I feel like a mouse trapped in a laboratory.

Dan: Except that lab mice do not have the chance to have a plasma screen and room service, well I guess.

Lily: Dan! Serena knows you're there?

Dan: Yes, yes, yes! It was she who opened my. Finally I hope that was it. It should be about this size, rather blond.

Lily: A merry-maker now! I love it.

Dan: (looking at the shopping bags of Lily) Fever buyer?

Lily: I needed to decompress. So where is it-are you going to take my daughter tonight?

Dan: Oh, I really know. J'pensais maybe take her to explore the subway tunnels to present my friends moles. Very friendly. A little gruff but very friendly. Sorry I do not know why I say all this is a fault I have when I'm nervous I can not stop talking. It's horrible. When I was little, it seems that what I liked most was learning vocabulary. You know what I like? Your daughter. I love it, really. I ... Wow!

Lily: Reassured me, you will not take that bag with that dress?

Serena: But Mom!

Lily: Oh, wait. (Unearthing a sack among his purchases) Take that!

Serena: Oh, thank you! And, uh ... where is Eric? It should be there by now.

Lily: He was too tired to go tonight.

Serena: Mom!

Lily: Later.

Serena: (turning to Dan) Come, let's go.

Lily: One o'clock in the mornin 'limit. Extra bonus if you come back at least a quarter.

[In front of the Palace Hotel]

Serena: Han is not true! A vespa! Han is a fabulous idea! I love, it drives me crazy! I believe it, I swear. You can not know what effect it makes me, I toured Italy vespa. This is one of my best memories! My mother has always refused to buy me one, we saw a car with a driver. But I assure you, Dan, this is an insane idea! Really! Here we go, where are the helmets?

The Limo Driver: Mr. Humphrey!

Serena: Oh! Ah, that is your driver.

Dan: Yeah!

Serena: Okay, great.

Gossip Girl: seen in front of the Palace Hotel, Cinderella amount in a pumpkin while she dreamed of a carriage ride! But the lonely boy Rest assured, we have other fairy tales in stock.

[In the living room of the Waldorf]

Dorota (welcoming Jenny): This way, if you please.

Jenny: Thank you!

Blair (you choose their outfits): It's not bad.

Stylist: And this one?

Blair: Yeah it is.

Dorota (showing the sleeping bag to Jenny): Do-I can get rid of?

Blair: Oh, Jenny! Oh that's cool that you came!

Gossip Girl: Let me give you good advice Jenny in this environment, censorship can be as fast as the fall. I hope your sleeping bag is also part of the fall!

A friend of Blair (1): Let the party begin!

[In the dining room]

Dan (looking at the map): Uh ... How are the braised quail?

Server: Very good, sir.

Dan: Oh, uh, okay. And the chipions?

Server: squid! It's delicious.

Dan: Oh yes! What's that?

Server: cuttlefish, sir.

Dan: Oh, uh, I feel like it too. Hmm, I'll take the chicken, it's safer.

Waiter: Yes, sir. Miss?

Serena: I'll take a lobster bisque and duck with olives, if you please.

Host: Thank you, Mademoiselle.

Dan: I find it slightly snubbed me. But I dined there often. I'm what they call a regular. (Looking for senior couples) I come for the customer: sparkling, fresh, full of life ... They give really hard, believe me, with all those facelifts.

Serena: Hmm ... You'll excuse me? I, um ... I'll take a walk to the bathroom, just to refresh myself.

Dan: Yeah, sure, sure. I think the toilets are ...

Serena: Oh, do not worry I'll find.

Dan: Oh, if you please! How much she ordered the duck?

Server: $ 78, sir.

Dan: Okay, uh ... So thank you, is this-that you could cancel my chicken and then I would take my input instead.

Server: Naturally, sir.

Dan: That's very kind, thank you!

[In the living room of the Waldorf]

Blair (watching Jenny try outfits): Too much pink! Ha ... too panther! Too ... blue flower! Oh ... wow, even I'm impressed!

Jenny: Really? Because I feel very comfortable.

Blair: Well, as my mother often say, fashion and comfort are not made for each other. The appearance is the only thing that matters. And you, you look like someone who goes to a child's taste. But before continuing the makeover, a small glass.

Jenny: Um ... thank you nan. I do not like vodka.

Blair: Well that's good because it's the Gin! No vodka. It is an evening Jenny, then either you drink it, or you return to your small metro. Whatever you want!

Jenny: Hmm. (Taking a sip from his glass of gin)

Blair: Okay, it's time to play-acting or truth.

Jenny: Oh, I love playing that! Once I had to swallow a whole bag of machmallow!

Blair: Yes it would be great fun but we are not playing like that.

Jenny: And how do you play then? (Kati & Isabel kiss) I will choose truth!

[At the Art Gallery of Rufus]

Alexander (on phone): Hello! Allo!

Rufus (hanging up): Han, sh*t! Han, I'm more a teen! 223.28.14.71.73.

Alexander (on phone): Hello!

Rufus (the phone): Uh, yes. Uh, I had the wrong number.

Alexander (on phone): It is you who just called?

Rufus (the phone): Sorry, yes it was me but I'm pretty sure it was the right number.

Alexander (on phone): Are you looking for that?

Rufus (the phone): Do-Allison Humphrey's there?

Alexander (on phone): Uh, not leave a second! She goes out of her shower. All '! This is for you! It is from that?

Rufus (the phone): Rufus Humphrey. And you are?

Alexander (on phone): Alexander Bancroft. Uh ... I, uh ... a friend of Allison.

Rufus (the phone): Well there is two way.

Allison (on phone): I'm here, I'm there! I'm coming. Allo!

[In the dining room]

Dan (the server taking away his plate): Thank you!

Serena: Um ... Are you sure you want to order something else? Your entry was not very hearty.

Dan: Nah, nah, nah, nah! It was perfect. I even know that the cream of fish it was.

Server: Want to see the dessert menu?

Serena: Oh, no thank you, I think it will go.

Dan: No dessert, you're safe?

Serena: Yes.

Dan: Okay, so give me the bill if you please.

Serena: Um ... Actually, I already paid the bill at any time.

Dan: What?

Server: Hmm.

Serena: Yes. I, I used the credit card of my mother, it's nothing I assure you, really.

Dan: You know I can pay. I have money on me.

Serena: Yes, I would not doubt one second. But you're not obliged to spend it here.

Dan: Wait, I understand there. I made a mistake?

Serena: Nah, listen. I wanted to spend an evening with you, and you thought you'd like it here. That is, it does not matter.

Dan: Okay, okay. Well, in this case, if this is the real Dan Humphrey you want, then you'll have it and I'm assured that you will not be disappointed! Let's go!

Serena: Oh yeah?

Dan: Yeah! Miss.

Gossip Girl: Insights to the output of a restaurant: S. and the Boy Solitaire on a cloud towards the skid row!

[In the living room of the Waldorf]

A friend of Blair (2) (waving clothes guardian): I had trouble pulling him all her uniform! But action is an action.

Jenny: The concierge is in my underwear?

Blair: Do not worry for him, Choupinette! Finish your glass, you're behind.

Jenny (his phone rings) Oh it's my laptop!

Blair (spicy Jenny's laptop), "SOS, still in prison! "But it's Eric Van Der Woodsen! It should not go this weekend?

Jenny: Do you think not.

Blair: Isa ', takes girls from Visconti. You will be contacted within one hour. It is time we move on to serious matters. Truth or Dare? Oh, but you have already chosen truth!

Jenny: So, uh, action.

Blair: J'te challenge to go kidnap Eric!

Jenny: Blair!

Blair: That is great! You want him to return, and he wants out. So to you now. Action or Adios!

Gossip Girl: seen at the sleepover: Little Jenny challenged by his Majesty B. Neither key miss Holy Will she dévergonder? Or will she instead deflate that does to break the mood?

Jenny: I'm starting lineup!

[In the room of Eric Ostrov]

Jenny: Surprise!

Eric: Uh, Jenny! What is that ...

Jenny: Hi!

Eric: What, are you doing here?

Jenny: Your SOS been heard. Come! We will set you free.

Eric: Finally, how? Wait, that it "they"?

[At the reception desk of Ostrov]

Blair (who photographed the air): It's true! I have a problem! This is the super mega catamaran '! I need a prescription!

Nurse: What is that you took as a drug?

Blair: Hmm ... Caffeine, nicotine, stamen, cocaine, heroin, codeine ... Not to mention amphetamines, morphine ... Anything that ends in-ine in fact! I do not discriminate.

Nurse: It's yes, indeed! (On phone) I have a code yellow, 6th floor! (Hangs up) I leave you a minute, I will seek help!

Blair: And I would love a cappuccino!

[In the room of Eric Ostrov]

Blair: Come, the way is clear! (Eric watching his quickdraw) You wanted some fresh air, right? And I wanted to help you!

Eric: Yeah, it's the first time.

Blair: Will a move on you, you magnez, here we go!

[In the living room of the suite of Van Der Woodsen]

Lily (on phone): Hello! What ...!? Uh ... but tell me, he was with that? But ... how is that possible? ... Young, blonde, cute, yes! This is his sister. I'll do it. Thank you! (Serena hanging up and calling on his cell remained after) Oh Of course!

[In the room of a bar]

Dan (putting the cue ball in the round): Wow! Bull's eye!

A guy at the bar: Bravo! This is the beautiful game

Dan (tending to Serena won money playing pool): Uh ... 75 dollars. It pays your duck.

Serena: Oh, well! Thank you.

Dan: So who's next?

Serena: Why not me?

Dan: You?

Serena: Yes, unless you have fear of losing?

Dan: I would not even attempt to let you win by gallantry.

Serena: Oh yeah?

Dan: Yeah.

Serena: That's what you think?

Dan: That's what I think.

Serena: Well, the ba*ls together. I'll put on some music.

[In the living room of Humphrey / In the room following the Van Der Woodsen]

Rufus (the phone): I hope it's not you Allison!

Lily (on phone): Rufus, what is it this way to win?

Rufus (the phone): Lily?

Lily (on phone): I need the mobile number of your son. That's an emergency.

Rufus (the phone): A true emergency or an urgency to Lily?

Lily (on phone): Eric is gone!

Rufus (the phone): Missing! But where?

Lily (on phone): Well, um ... he was in his room here at the hotel. I, I can not reach him. He does not answer the phone. I think he is with Serena.

Rufus (the phone): You called him?

Lily (on phone): She forgot her cell phone. I beg you, I really need the number of your son.

Rufus (the phone): Leave them alone. I'm sure they spend a good evening. Do not worry for your son.

Lily (on phone): I am so worried, however.

Rufus (the phone):-What are you talking about? Your son is with your daughter is with my son. I make them complete trust, do the same.

Lily (on phone): Rufus!

Rufus (the phone): Hi, hello, next time!

[In the hall of Visconti]

Visconti's a guy: Hey, beautiful brunette! Do not you want a quiet one s'trouve both, just to get to know?

Blair: Well, usually I never say 'never', but then I'll make an exception. (Turning to her friends) This is the mafia of traders or what? They are rednecks with their suit!

Jenny: Well, Eric is here! To you now. Truth or Dare?

Blair: In your opinion?

Jenny: J'te defy go ride a shovel this guy!

Blair: Easy.

Jenny: We have to believe in it.

Kati & Isabel: Oh dear!

Blair: Take in the seed, Choupinette! (The guy kissing the Visconti)

A friend of the guy (1): Do not worry they will say anything to Amanda!

Blair: Who is Amanda?

The guy's Visconti: Actually, this is my fiancee.

Blair: Oh! It is better to be left out of it, do not you think?

A friend of the guy (2): Wow, that's clear!

Blair (shaking the phone the guy in front of Jenny Visconti): Look what I dug up! I want you to call his girlfriend. Her name is Amanda.

Jenny: Statement Challenge! (On phone) Hello! Amanda? Hello, j'm'appelle Bla ... uh, Claire! Yes, j'viens put my tongue in the mouth of a boy and I'm sorry because I just learned that he was your boyfriend! I had to tell you. It's a real g*n! Ciao!

A friend of Blair: On the evening of the year!

Gossip Girl: There is a beginning to everything in life. The little Jenny is perhaps more so small that it after all!

[In the room of a bar]

Serena (goofing): Oh, no!

Dan: End of the Game! You've taken a monumental plate! Viewing: 4-0!

Serena: Oh, I'm as bad as that?

Dan: There's no word to describe the way you play!

Serena: Han, good. You promised me you would learn if I lost again.

Dan: Okay, okay. I will keep my promise. I do it for you and I do it to save the honor of American billiards.

Serena: Wow!

Dan Go, j'te shows. The most important thing is the pool is ... (handing him his cue) Here, take this. The most important thing is the corners. The right angles, of course. Go ahead try.

Serena: Okay!

Dan: Um ... back a bit by hand.

Serena: Hmm.

Dan: Here.

Serena: Okay.

Dan: And, uh ... wait, a little right there. You type slowly and you do slide together, okay?

Serena (loupant his stroke): Oh! This is my last song!

Dan: I did not know you liked the music.

Serena: Yes. There are still a bunch of things you know about me.

Dan: Oh, uh, outside of your natural talent for billiards! What else?

Serena: Hmm ... What I love being here with you.

Dan: That I knew.

Serena: Oh, uh, there's something that is going to vibrate in your pocket. I think it's your phone.

Dan: Oh, uh, wait. Oh, that's my father! Knowing him, it must be something important.

Serena: Oh, yes, take it. Go!

Dan (on phone): Hello! What, Nan, nan, nan, it is not there. Serena has forgotten his cell phone!

Serena: What? What is the matter?

Dan (on phone): Oh! Yes, yes, yes, she is beside me. Taking Charge!

Serena: What? What is happening?

Dan: Small change of plans.

Serena: No! Nah, nah, nah, nah, nah! I disagree. I want to leave, not right in learning.

Dan: I know.

Serena: And do not forget that you promised to fill my gaps!

Dan: I forget them, and the table either.

Serena: Well, what does that may be more important to the world that what we are doing? It can not wait until tomorrow?

Dan: Nah it can not, you must call your brother right away.

[In the living room of Humphrey]

Rufus (opening his front door): It's you!

Lily: Well ...

Rufus: I was about ...

Lily: I spent a few phone calls and nobody in my family knows your son. Unbelievable but true! So is Dan Humphrey is an assumed name, is it really very few friends. Anyway, I need his number.

Rufus: After hanging up all the time, I thought I could be a little more understanding.

Lily: Han, you think ...

Rufus: And I called Dan.

Lily: Thank you very much.

Rufus: And your son is not with them.

Lily: Are you sure?

Rufus: But Serena was able to reach him and he is fine. They will call us as soon as they are with him.

Lily: Great! And you tell me that when counted, exactly?

Rufus: I was about to do. Well, even if it delights me not, you can wait with me. They will soon be called.

Lily: Okay. Do not think I'll accept the glass of rotgut you gonna offer me. But I could eat something. Thank you for the offer. (Rufus pouting) What? Do not tell me you know cooking?

[In the hall of Visconti]

Dan: You see Jenny and your brother?

Serena: No!

Amanda: Is that you? It's you Claire?

Serena: What? No!

Dan: Are you sure that is the right place?

Serena: Yes!

Dan: Come!

Amanda: Hey, tell me, where do-is it?

The guy's Visconti: My smart! This-that what art ... But who are you talking about? You see it is between friends there! Hey, you the girl in red! Where is my phone?

Dan: Hey! Calm down!

The guy's Visconti: Where it comes out?

Blair: It's alright, your phone is on our table. You would have noticed at least if you were busy at the mouth to get drunk chicks matter.

Amanda: I'll pulverize you!

Blair: Oh! You must surely be Amanda, right? Well in your place I think twice before marrying this little sh*t! (By growing by Amanda)

Serena: Hey, hey, hey, you touch it, okay?

Blair: I do not need you to défendes!

Serena: Pfou!

Jenny: Anyway it's not even that you've called it, that's me.

Dan, Jenny?

Amanda: So what language was it?

Dan: The language! -But what are you doing here? You were not a sleepover?

Amanda: Wait, do not tell me what is it that you kissed?

Dan: Have you kissed this guy?

The guy's Visconti: Nah, I kissed each other!

Blair: Oh, it was a challenge.

Amanda: A Challenge! How old are you: 10 years?

Dan: Just over: 14 years!

The guy from Visconti & Amanda: 14 years!

The guy's Visconti: Gosh, I have believed. Damn, I swear it looks! It is a sacred tease.

Dan: What? Repeat that!

Jenny: Dan, you stop interfering, okay? You complicated matters further.

Dan: What complicates things is the piece of fabric you have on your back.

The guy's Visconti: Yeah, that's what I said.

Dan: You, you say nothing and you shut up! (Fighting with the guy from Visconti)

Serena: Hey!

Jenny: Oh!

Vigil Visconti: Come on, everybody out or I'll call the cops!

Dan: Okay, okay!

Eric (just arriving): Hey, Serena! You see I told you it was traveling.

Vigil Visconti: Exit if you please!

Serena: Come on, let's go.

Gossip Girl: Preview: The big brother fearless driving to the help of the little sister in distress! But can we really help someone who does not want?

[In the kitchen of Humphrey]

Rufus (preparing a dish with Lily): What? What is wrong?

Lily: Oh! Nothing at all! This is what I am looking forward to eating a dish made from scratch. I add just a little bit of salt.

Rufus: Why? It's impeccable '!

Lily: Do not worry, just a pinch.

Rufus: It's stronger than you, you always have all controls.

Lily: Well you not complain at the time!

Rufus: But I was not allowed. It was part of the settlement.

Lily: Yes, finally, I am perhaps a tad psychorigid but life is far from easy. Especially when you have children. When they are small it is the only thing that matters to them, then, growing up they build a kind of barrier. It is found on one side and the other of them.

Rufus: Yes, but they still need us. While they admit it.

Lily: Yes, maybe Serena. But Eric, I do not understand how it works.

Rufus: A boy of 14 who made the wall, it's nothing extraordinary.

Lily: Actually it was not at the hotel when it happened. He ran away from the center Ostrov.

Rufus: He was in Ostrov?

Lily: Yes.

Rufus: Drugs or alcohol?

Lily: Oh, no. It has nothing to do. It just feels, well ... a little lonely.

Rufus: It's a depression? But it is severe?

Lily: Enough so that it has attempted suicide.

Rufus: I'm sorry ... Hmm.

Lily: I do not know why, but I actually do not know what I did or what I missed, but the worst is that I do not know what to do to be sure that it never remake .

Rufus: It's best that you are listening to.

Lily (phone rings) Oh, let it be children!

Rufus (the phone): Hello! ... Yes, great! ... Uh, yeah, uh, I'll tell his mother. She is with me ... It's a long story ... Yes, at any time! (Hangs up) Eric is with Dan and Serena, and everything seems to go.

Lily: I'd better go find them.

Rufus (showing their meals): J't'emballe that?

Lily: Nah, actually it's silly are you cool if I prevail. So I go, I will stay here, quick snack.

Rufus: It's true that it would have been a shame to ruin the dinner.

[Before the Visconti]

Serena: What is that you took?

Blair: He could, he wanted to go out and have fun.

Serena: And you dragged into the box!

Blair: So what! I do not see what is wrong! I thought it would make you happy.

Serena: Well no, not at all. And I can not believe that you have dared to do that!

Eric: Wait, I have not been kidnapped you know. I followed my own free will. B. did it for my own good.

Blair: You see!

Serena: Maybe, but it was not a service to you. You'll get yelled at.

Eric: Yes, I know. And whatever happens, it was worth it! It was worth it to go out and talk to someone who is neither you nor mother, even if it is B. Without offending you.

Blair: I'm far from it.

Serena: I hate that it has come there. I'll take care of mom, okay?

Eric: Thank you!

Serena: Now she knows that you're safe, we'll, we'll go without stress. You want us to work?

Blair: Ugh, call me!

Serena: Yeah, I call you.

Blair: I was talking to Eric.

[In an alley next to the Visconti]

Dan: What are you playing there? I do not feel that it's you.

Jenny: And you call yourself that? Dad?

Dan: Well, we talk about that here. Come with me, j'te accompanies.

Jenny: Nah, we will not take me home because I will not return.

Blair (the caller of the sidewalk across the street): You just Jenny!

Jenny: Yeah, one second! Listen, I know it's gone a little spin tonight.

Dan: It's the least we can say.

Jenny: J'me'm under no illusions about the girls, and then I know who I am. This is not because I go out with Blair that I will change.

Blair: Come on! We are going.

Jenny: I'm coming! If you-please-let me go! And listen, in half an hour I'm under the covers, I promise.

Dan: Okay, okay.

Jenny: Thank you!

Serena: So?

Dan: So?

Serena: Well, I must back to the center so that's where our paths diverge.

Dan: What? No, no, no, no, I'm coming with you.

Serena: No, I assure you, it's not worth it.

Dan: I feel like it. Come, let's go.

[In front of the store Eleanor Waldorf]

Gossip Girl: Something tells me that the action part is going to play truth or extensions! The little does she know that Jenny B. can not stand to lose at his own game?

Jenny: You want me to pique jacket is on display?

Blair: Have you understood everything!

Jenny: But this is the store of your mother. I mean, you got the right to take whatever you want.

Blair: In this case too. (Giving him the keys to the store) Unless you have no desire, I understand perfectly. I do not blame you would stick.

Jenny: I understand!

Blair: So do not do it but stop so close it's ridiculous!

Jenny: The jacket?

Blair: Yes, just the jacket. (Jenny looking in the shop) Here we go! 5, 4, 3, 2, 1 ... Go quickly size it is!

Jenny (the alarm goes off): Han! Hey, where is it-are you? Let me out!

[In the kitchen of Humphrey]

Lily: Oh! You know I struggle to recognize you in this picture that I took!

Rufus:-What are you talking about! It's not you who has taken! You were not at this show.

Lily: No, but you kidding? If I remember correctly, the first song was about me, the second spoke of, of your beloved motorcycle, and in third you spoke of, a surf spot. Where it was already?

Rufus: Sayurita!

Lily: Sayurita!

Rufus: A fishing village.

Lily: With this beautiful house where we ... Yes, this was it me back. I had to take eight rolls of pictures that night.

Rufus: And why did you let down the picture anyway? You loved it so much!

Lily: Well we must believe that I'd rather be a high-class wh*re.

Rufus: Ah!

Lily: I remember the same black dress I wore that night!

Rufus: Oh yeah?

Lily: Yeah.

Rufus: Uh ... I think I remember it was blue.

Lily: Are you sure? Because according to you I was not even at this concert.

Rufus (phone rings): Uh, if you can answer-you-please? If this is my son, be nice!

Lily (on phone): Hello! Yes, here the Humphrey residence ... Yes, Yes ... Allison is Lily ... Yes, uh, second.

Rufus (the phone): Allison? (Person on the phone)

Lily: You'll have to explain to him the misunderstanding.

Rufus: Do not bother! Given this situation, I have no account to render him.

Lily: Well, I have enough abused your hospitality.

Rufus: I hope all this will work out.

Lily: Yes, me too. Thank you for your babysitter! And thank you for being such a good friend.

Rufus: Yeah. J'me am almost amused.

Lily: Rufus Good night!

[In front of the store Eleanor Waldorf]

Policeman: I'll have to ask you for ID Mademoiselle.

Jenny: But I have not. I'm only 14.

Policeman: And you're out at this hour?

Jenny: Uh, I ...

Policeman: What is your name?

Jenny: Blair Waldorf J'm'appelle. The shop belongs to my mother, her name is Eleanor. I forgot my jacket at any time and she is always pissed when I forget my business. So I came back but I forgot to turn off the alarm.

Policeman: Well, give me your number, we will contact her.

Jenny: Oh, she is moving. She is in Paris, she returned Thursday. It is 6 hours ahead, if you want to call it. Oh, it will still sting of these attacks!

Officer: Look, I can not let you go until you verify what you say.

Jenny: You see that I have the keys! And then there was no forced entry.

[On the streets of New York City]

Dan: I understand better why your brother was the trunk! I've rarely seen a place so depressing.

Serena: And say it was designed to treat depression.

Dan: It's great your brother, really.

Serena: Yeah. Your sister is not bad either.

Dan: Really? Yeah, that's true, it's true. I'm still worried about it.

Serena: Well, it manages to be concerned about you! Listen, I saw Jenny in action and my impression is that this is not the kind of girl to do things against the sandstone.

Dan: Yeah, I know, I know. But I do not think his vision of the evening was perfect to wear makeup like a stolen car to go wiggle in stilettos in a trendy nightclub by being hit on by traders dead drunk who give a damn about her .

Serena: This is perhaps not his conception of the perfect evening.

Dan: How so?

Serena: It's normal that she wanted to be friends with girls who are in his college.

Dan: Why? J'm'en sheet.

Serena: Well if you had gone a quarter of the efforts it has made, we might be known earlier.

Dan: You're not wrong!

Serena: And therefore you would have perhaps already embraced.

Dan: More restaurant '5 stars. More driver.

Serena: More bars with guys who reek of cigarette and music exceeded.

Dan: We will eventually get there.

[In the room of Eric Ostrov]

Eric: Mom!

Lily: Hi!

Eric: Sorry for tonight.

Lily: We'll talk about that tomorrow. After a good night's sleep in your bed if you agree.

Eric: I go home?

Lily: I hope I would get to be up darling.

Eric: I'm not worried. In addition to my bag is ready!

[In the living room of the Waldorf]

Jenny: Well, grabs! (Dressed in jacket and leaving the keys to the store to Blair)

Blair: Jenny! Gosh, you're not pretending to play you! (Patting the bed next to her) J't'ai kept the best place. Sleep well, you deserved it.

Jenny: Actually, I'm going home. But thank you for the invitation, j'me have exploded!

Blair: How does you go home? Nobody has ever dared to do that!

Jenny: Well, we must believe that there is a first time for everything. And I'll keep the jacket, if you do not see any downside. Well, on Monday! Lunch up the steps.

Blair: Okay, done deal.

Gossip Girl: It seems that Jenny Humphrey created a sensation at the sleepover B. An entry into the world as we had not seen Miss Waldorf in person!

[On the streets of New York City]

Gossip Girl (Serena and Dan kiss): We can only advise to B. to remain on guard and S. to beware of his heart! It seems that the lonely boy, he was robbed. Notice to all units! Gossip Girl.

[bunniefuu]

(OG version)


WOMAN:
Where has she been?

GOSSIP GIRL:
And who am I?

That's one secret I'll never tell.

You know you love me. XOXO...

...Gossip Girl.

With Blair's boyfriend, Nate...

...helping to close up
the family yacht for the season...

...Blair is free to focus
on the most important event of the fall:

Her annual sleepover.

A tradition since the year 2000,
each one more decadent than the last.

No expense or reputation is spared.

With everything from trundle beds
to truffles in place...

...all that's missing is sleepover star and
Waldorf BFF, Serena van der Woodsen.

Dad, I'm headed to the bank.

You want me to deposit the check
from Mom's sale while I'm there?

Did you knock over a parking meter?

No, this is the entire contents from my
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle piggy bank.

How long can a man have a piggy bank
and still call himself a man?

I thought it was time
to break Donatello open.

-So tonight's the big night, huh?
-It is, and I have it all planned.

Six pounds of plan, actually.

It's been a while
since I took someone on a date...

...but movie-ticket prices
haven't risen that much, have they?

Dad, this is Serena van der Woodsen.
You can't just take her to a movie.

I want this to be perfect.

Check, want me to deposit it?

You still haven't told her yet, have you?

Dad, that's Mom's first sale.

That painting sold days ago,
it's kind of a huge deal.

I know, which is why I was thinking
of surprising her myself...

...heading upstate to Hudson,
bringing her the check in person.

What? Aren't I supposed to deliver
good news in person?

I think that's bad news.

Good news might just be fine
with a phone call.

So you're saying I shouldn't go see her?

I'm saying, I don't think Mom
is a huge fan of surprises.

You remember her 30th birthday
with the clown and his llama?

Yeah, that didn't--

-Didn't go over well.
-Tanked.

I'll call her first, just to be safe.

Need some change for that?

[BELL RINGS]

Hey, just the little sister
I was looking for.

I need answers, and I need them now.

Your brother is being mysterious
about our date tonight.

He's a very mysterious guy, apparently.

He won't even tell me where we're
going. Can you just give me a hint?

Are we going to some secret club to
see the best unsigned band in Brooklyn?

Or a guerrilla art exhibit in Dumbo?

Isn't the New York Film Festival
still going on?

You don't leave room
for surprise, do you?

Well, I don't know how to dress for
surprise. Not everything goes with it.

Well, I'd say jeans
and a T-shirt's a safe bet.

The Humphrey men
do casual Friday every day.

[PHONE RINGS]

-Oh, it's my brother.
-Oh, I say hi.

Eric, hey.

-Jenny says hi.
-Well, hi back.

Did she spill about tonight?

No, not a drop. You all packed?

-Yeah, baggage is ready to go.
-Speaking of which, is Mom still there?

Yeah. She's talking to the doctor now.

I can't believe she's letting me
come home for a weekend.

I don't think I even remember
what a weekend is.

What time's your date?
Maybe we'll cross paths.

Seven. Can't wait to see you.

Me too. Bye.

Okay, love you, Eric. Bye.

What was that I heard?
Eric's coming home?

-It's perfect timing.
-How so?

It gives your mother and brother
time to bond alone...

...while you get drunk on Schnapps
and moon the NYU dorms from the limo.

What are you talking about?

S, it's only the most important night
of the fall.

Oh, the sleepover.

I prefer "soiree."
"Sleepover" is so sophomore year.

Look, you know I can't go to that,
I have that plan.

Serena, when there's
a Waldorf soiree...

...there's nothing else
on the social calendar.

Blair, the plan is Dan.

Remember, the guy you realize
is actually a human being...

...and worthy of
your time and attention?

-No offense.
-None taken.

Look, I'm really sorry,
but this date is unbreakable.

Maybe we can swing by later or--

I am not a stop along the way,
I'm a destination.

And if you refuse to attend,
I'm gonna find a replacement.

Girls, the waiting list.

Okay, well, I should get going.

-Bye.
-Good luck tonight.

Thank you.

Little Jenny Humphrey.
Why didn't I think of you before?

You have no plans.
You're coming to the soiree.

Me? Really?

-Her? Really?
-Her? Really?

The thing is, if you come...

...you'll have to be up to
a little more than just sleeping.

I'm up for anything.

-My place, 7:00 sharp.
-Okay. Bye.

A girl's first sleepover,
something she'll never forget.

Let's make sure of it.

Taking bets on how long she lasts.

Fifty bucks says an hour
and not one minute more.

I don't understand.

He said I was ready. We talked about it
in our session this morning.

What he said is that you could
come home, not that you should.

-I thought--
-I don't wanna argue about this.

-I need time to think.
-Please.

I told the doctor
I'd take it under advisement.

You can't just walk out of here,
anyway.

There's papers to be signed,
release forms, insurance--

I can't believe you.
You wanna keep me here forever.

If you still think I'm keeping you here...

...that just proves
how not ready you are to come home.

Look,
we'll talk about this tomorrow, oka--?

Yeah. Yeah, you bet we will.

[KNOCKING ON DOOR]

-Hey.
-Hey.

Hey, am I early or...?

No, no. I'm just running late.

Come in.

Excuse me while I go
slip into something less comfortable.

Sure, sure.

Talk to me while I change?

-I will.
-Okay.

Say, this is a nice place that you
and 800 other people have got here.

Yeah, the identical surroundings
do make you crazy after a little while.

Sometimes I feel like
I'm in a secret government experiment.

Most government experiments
don't have plasma TVs or maid services.

Just something I've noticed.

Dan. Does Serena know you're here?

Yeah, of co-- Yeah, she let me in.

Or at least I hope that was her.
She's about yay tall, very blond?

It makes jokes. Cute.

-Big shopping day?
-I had a lot on my mind.

So where are you taking
my daughter tonight?

I don't know. Thought maybe we'd do a
walking tour of New York Underground.

Visit my friends, the Mole People.

They're great,
except they only ever eat leftovers.

I'm sorry, I don't know why I said that.

I have this nervous tic
where I don't stop speaking, like, ever.

When I was little, my mom used to say
there was never a word I met I didn't like.

You know what else I like?

Your daughter.
I really like your daughter.

I--

Wow.

You're not wearing that with that,
are you?

Mom....

Here, wait.

-Take this.
-Oh, thank you.

Hey, where's Eric? I thought
he was gonna be home by now.

Oh, he was too tired
to come home tonight.

Mom.

Later.

Come on, let's go.

Home by 1:00. Bonus points for 12:45.

Oh, my God, a Vespa.

I can't believe it. I love Vespas.

My gosh, you don't understand.

I spent one of my favorite summers
riding all around Italy on one of these.

How did you know?

Mom won't let me learn to drive,
she said that's what drivers are for.

But really, Dan, this is amazing.

Really.

-Come on, where are the helmets?
MAN: Mr. Humphrey.

-Is he--? Is he ours?
-Yeah.

Okay. Great.

GOSSIP GIRL:
Spotted on the steps of the Palace...

...Cinderella stepping onto a pumpkin
instead of her carriage.

Lucky for Lonely Boy, there's more
than one fable filling our inbox.

[WOMEN LAUGHING]

That's not bad.

I will take that for you, yes?

Jenny. Oh, I'm so glad
you could make it.

Here's an inside tip, Little J.

The faster you rise, the harder you fall.

Hope that Hello Kitty sleeping bag
doubles as a parachute.

Let the games begin.

[CLASSICAL MUSIC PLAYING]

-How's the braised quail?
-Very good, sir.

Okay, and the "lapin"?

Lapin. It's delightful.

Okay. What is that again?

-Rabbit, sir.
-Oh, well, I won't be having that.

How about chicken?
You can't go wrong with chicken.

-Yes, sir.
-Thank you.

-Miss?
-I'll have the lobster bisque...

...and Muscovy duck, please. Thank you.

[SPEAKS IN FRENCH]

I can't believe the waiter forgot me,
I was just here...

...the other day.

I come here for the crowd. You
wanna play mistress or second wife?

Because it's harder than it looks,
believe me. So is her...face.

Will you excuse me?

I-- I'm gonna go to the restroom
to freshen up a little.

Of course, of course.
I think the bathrooms are--

Don't worry, I'll find them.

Oh, excuse me, sir.
How much is that duck she just ordered?

-Seventy-eight dollars, sir.
-Okay, right, thank you.

Can you cancel my main dish and
I'll just have the appetizer as the main?

Of course, sir.

Thank you, thank you, merci.

[PRIMA J'S "ROCKSTAR"
PLAYING OVER SPEAKERS]

Too Beyoncé.

Too Mary-Kate.

Too Hannah Montana.

Wow, even I'm impressed.

I don't know, I mean,
I don't really feel right.

Well, as my mother always says,
"Fashion knows not of comfort."

All that matters
is the face you show the world.

And your face looks like
it's going to bat mitzvah.

But before we continue the renovation....

-Martini.
-Oh, no, thanks. I don't like vodka.

Well, that's nice, because this is gin,
as it should be.

It's a party, Jenny.

Either swallow that
or swipe your Metrocard back home.

It's up to you.

All right, who's ready
for a game of truth or dare?

Oh, I love truth or dare.

Once, I had to eat
an entire bag of marshmallows.

That's nice, little Humphrey,
but that's not how we play.

Well, how do you play?

I think I'll go truth.

MAN:
Hello?

Hello?

What am I, a teenager?

MAN:
Hello?

Yeah, hey,
I must have the wrong number.

Did you just call a second ago?

Sorry about that, but I'm pretty sure
this is the right number.

Who are you trying to reach?

Is Alison Humphrey there?

Hold on a second,
she just got out of the shower.

Al? It's for you.

Who's calling?

Rufus Humphrey.

Who is this?

Alexander Bancroft.

Just her-- Just--

I'm a friend.

So am I, it seems.

ALISON:
Hi, I'm here, I'm here. Hello?

DAN:
Thank you.

You sure you didn't want
any of my dinner?

Your entrée was so small.

No, no, no, it was amazing.
I didn't realize fish could be creamed.

Would you like to see the dessert menu?

Oh, no, thank you. I think we're fine.

-Sure you don't want dessert?
-Yeah.

Okay, well,
then we'll just get the check, please.

Actually, I already
took care of that earlier.

What?

Yeah, I just charged it on my mom's card.
It's not a big deal, don't worry about it.

You know, I can pay.
It's not like I don't have the money.

Yeah, I'm sure you do,
you just shouldn't have to spend it here.

I don't understand.
Did I do something wrong?

No. Look, I wanted a date with you,
just not the date you thought I wanted.

It's-- It's fine.

All right. All right.

Well, then...

...if it's a real Dan Humphrey date
that you want...

...then it's a real Dan Humphrey date
that you're gonna get.

-Let's go.
-Really?

Yes.

[SPEAKS IN FRENCH]

GOSSIP GIRL:
Spotted fleeing dessert...

...S and Lonely Boy,
lighter than air and heading downtown.

HARPER: It wasn't easy getting
the entire uniform, but....

Done and done.

What's the doorman wearing?

Don't you worry about that, Little J.

Just drink up, you're lagging behind.

[PHONE RINGING]

JENNY:
Oh, my phone.

"S.O.S. Still in prison!"

Is that Eric van der Woodsen? I thought
he went home for the weekend.

Guess it didn't happen.

Is, why don't you
take the girls to Visconti?

Meet you there in an hour.

Let's ramp this up, shall we?

Truth or dare?

Oh, and you already used your truth.

So dare?

I dare you to jailbreak Eric.

-Blair.
-It's perfect.

You want in and he wants out.

What's it gonna be? Do or die, Little J.

Spotlight on Little J,
now put to the test by one Queen B.

Will J take the bait
and go from Brady to Britney?

Or will her goody-two-shoes mindset
turn into the night's biggest buzz k*ll?

Let's do it.

Surprise.

Jenny, hey, what are you doing here?

Your SOS was heard and answered.
Come on, we're breaking you out.

Wait, how--?
Wait, what do you mean "we"?

Okay, I have a problem.

I have a big problem.

Starts with a capital RX.

What drugs have you been taking?

Caffeine, nicotine, ketamine...

...GHB, PCP, LSD.

Dry-- Diazepam? Lorazepam?

All the pams, really.
No, I don't discriminate.

Apparently not.

Code Yellow, Floor 6.

Why don't you wait right here?

I'll get a doctor.

And I'd love a cappuccino.

Come on, let's go.

I heard you were bored
and I figured I owed you one.

-Yeah, try 50.
-Okay, come on.

Get a move on, come on.

[PHONE RINGING]

Hello?

What?

How did this happen?

He was with who?

Young, blond and beautiful.

Yup, that's his sister.

I'll find them. Thank you.

[LINE RINGING]

[PHONE RINGING]

Of course.

[TWO HOURS TRAFFIC'S
"JEZEBEL" PLAYS ON JUKEBOX]

MAN:
And another one.

DAN:
Sorry, Joe.

That's game.

That's 75 bucks.
I think that pays for your duck.

That it does. Thank you.

So, what now?

You play me.

-You?
-Yeah, unless you're afraid to lose.

Only thing being lost
would be your dignity.

-Oh, really? You think so?
-Yes.

-I think so.
-Rack them up. I'll buy us a soundtrack.

[PHONE RINGING]

This better not be my wife.

Rufus, do you always
answer the phone like that?

-Lily?
-I need your son's cell phone number.

It's an emergency.

A real emergency or a Lily emergency?

Eric is missing.

Missing? From where?

From his room, here...

...at the hotel.

I'm trying to get in touch,
he's not answering his phone.

I think he's with Serena.

Did you try her?

She left her phone here.

Your son's cell number, that's all I need.

They're on a date.
If they picked Eric up along the way...

...I bet they're having fun.

I have a situation here.

A situation? Your son is
with your daughter and my kid.

I trust them, why don't you?

Rufus.

Goodbye, Lily. Always a pleasure.

[KAT DELUNA'S "WHINE UP"
PLAYS OVER SPEAKERS]

Hey, baby, you wanna
maybe show me the bathroom...

...get lost somewhere
around coat check?

My answer's usually "never say never,"
but for you I'll make an exception.

[WOMEN LAUGHING]

[MAN GROANS]

Who let the Hedge-Fund Mafia in here?
I thought matchy-matchy was over.

So Eric's here. Now it's your turn.

Truth or dare?

-You have to ask?
-I dare you to make out with that guy.

Easy.

And mean it.

Watch and learn, little Humphrey.

[MEN CHEERING]

I hope Amanda never finds out.

-Who's Amanda?
-Just my girlfriend.

Amanda never has to know, does she?

I'm not telling her.

Look what I got.

I dare you to call his girlfriend.
Her name's Amanda.

Done and done.

Hello? Amanda?

Hi, this is Blai--

Claire.

Yeah, I just had my tongue
down your boyfriend's throat...

...and he neglected to tell me
you existed until after it was over.

Just thought you should know.
He's a real catch.

Bye.

All right. Sleepover of the year.

Hey, everybody's gotta start somewhere.

Maybe Little J isn't so little anymore.

SERENA:
Oh, no.

Game over. You lost, fair and square.

And that's squared.

Am I really that bad?

There aren't enough words
to describe the kind of bad you are.

Well, you promised if I lost again,
you'd teach me.

All right, all right.
That's a promise I intend to keep.

Not just for you,
but for dive bars everywhere.

-All across America.
-Whoo.

All right, come here.

You have to remember,
in pool, it's all about--

Take this stick.

Remember, it's all about the angles.
The right angle, of course.

-Take the shot.
-Okay.

-Bring your hand back, here.
-Right.

And--

Wait, oh, okay, hold on.

You gotta be slow
and just follow through, all right?

[OZZY OSBOURNE'S
"MAMA I'M COMING HOME" PLAYS]

Oh.

Oh, this is my song. Finally.

I didn't know
you liked this kind of music.

I think we've already established things
you don't know about me.

Other than your total lack of pool skills?

-What else?
-That I'm having the best time right now?

That, I knew.

There's something vibrating in your
pocket and I really hope it's your phone.

DAN:
Hold on.

Oh, it's my dad. He knows I'm with you,
he wouldn't call if it wasn't important.

-Oh, yeah, of course. Take it.
-All right.

Hello?

What? No, no, no, he's not.

Serena left her phone at the hotel?

What? What's up?

Yeah, Dad,
she's standing right here next to me.

We'll take care of it.

Wait, take care of what?

Slight change of plans.

No, no, no change of plans.

I like this plan
of you teaching me the angles.

-I know.
-Remember?

-Cute girl with total lack of pool skills?
-I remember. So does the table.

What could it possibly be that's
more important than this right here?

-Can't it wait till tomorrow?
-Actually, it can't.

You need to call your brother, right now.

[KNOCKING ON DOOR]

Hey, I was just about to--

So I made some calls, but none
of my people know your people.

Shocking, but true.

Either Dan Humphrey is an alias
or your son is not very popular.

Regardless, I need that number.

I realize
when I got off the phone with you...

...that I could have been
a little bit more understanding.

-You think--?
-I called Dan.

Thank you.

-And your son's not with him.
-He's not?

But Serena got Eric on the phone
and he's okay.

And Dan said they would phone
when they were all together.

Yeah. And you didn't think to call
and tell me all of this?

I was just about to.

Now, I hate to say this,
but why don't you sit and wait here?

We should hear from them soon.

Fine.

And I'll pass on a glass of that
non-premium liquor that you're drinking.

But I will take something to eat.
Thank you for offering.

What?
You still know how to cook, don't you?

[ZOOLAND'S "GET UR PARTY ON"
PLAYS OVER SPEAKERS]

-Do you see Jenny or your brother?
-No.

-Are you her? Are you Claire?
-What? No.

Are you sure we're in the right place?

-Yeah.
-Come on.

-Where is she?
-Baby, what?

Who? I'm here at the club with the guys.

Hey.

Excuse me, hello.

-Where's my phone?
-Hey. Let go of her.

-Who are you?
-Your phone is at our table.

If you weren't drunk and drooling over
every girl, you would've seen that.

-I'm gonna k*ll you.
-Oh, you must be Amanda, right?

Well, I would think twice
before marrying him, because he's a pig.

-Hey, hey, hey, back off of her, okay?
-I don't need you to defend me.

It wasn't even her who called you,
it was me.

-Jenny?
-So she's the one with the tongue?

Tongue? What are you doing?
You're supposed to be at a sleepover.

-Made out with a girl from a sleepover?
-Made out with him?

-Made out with her.
-Ew.

It was a dare.

-A dare? What are you, children?
-Yeah, pretty much. She's 14.

-Fourteen?
-Fourteen?

I swear, I had no idea, baby.

-I mean, look at her, she's jailbait.
-What? What's that?

Dan, stay out of it, okay?
You're causing more problems.

Only problem
is the c*ck napkin you're wearing.

-That's what I'm talking about.
-You're not talking--

Hey.

-All you out before I call the cops.
-All right.

Hey, Serena.
See, I told you everything was okay.

BOUNCER: Let's go.
-Eric, come on.

Spotted.
Big brother to the not-quite rescue.

Too bad no one told him,
you can't save a damsel...

...if she loves her distress.

What's wrong with the sauce?

Nothing. I'm just so happy
to have a home-cooked meal.

-It just needs a little salt.
-What? It's perfect.

No, just a pinch.

You haven't changed a bit.
You always have to be in control.

Well, I don't remember you complaining.

Well, I wasn't allowed to.
It was one of your rules.

Yeah, well, I may hold the reins
a little tight, but life is complicated.

Especially once you have kids.

When they're little,
you're their whole world...

...and then, one day, the wall goes up...

...and you're on one side
and they're on the other.

They don't like to admit it,
but they want us to break through.

Yeah, well, maybe Serena.
But Eric? I don't know what he wants.

You're awfully concerned
about a 14-year-old boy breaking curfew.

Well, it's not my curfew he's breaking.

He's been staying at the Ostroff Center.

-Ostroff Center?
-Yeah.

Drugs? Drinking?

No, he's not a bad kid,
he's just a lonely one.

It's depression? Is it bad?

Bad enough to try to k*ll himself.

-I'm sorry.
-You know, I don't know why.

I don't know what I did
or I didn't do, but...

...I just don't know what to do
to make sure it doesn't happen again.

All you can do is be there for them.

[PHONE RINGING]

I hope that's Dan or Serena.

Hello?

Hey. Great.

Yeah, actually, I can tell her.
His mother's here with me.

It's a long story.

Sounds good. Take care.

So he's with Dan and Serena,
and everyone's fine.

All right, I should go meet them.

-I'll wrap this up.
-You know what?

This isn't gonna travel well.
Why don't I just...

...stay here and I can eat it quickly?

It would be a shame
to let it go to waste.

-What were you thinking?
BLAIR: He was bored.

-He wanted to get out, have some fun.
-So you took him to a bar?

He didn't do anything wrong.
I thought you'd be happy.

Well, I'm not, okay?

-I can't believe that you did this.
-Hey, I wasn't kidnapped, Serena.

I left of my own free will.
Blair was trying to do me a favor.

-Told you.
-Well, it's no favor, Eric.

-You're in a lot of trouble.
-Yeah, I know.

And you know what? It was worth it.

To be out after dark
and to talk to someone...

...who isn't you or Mom,
even if it is Blair.

-No offense.
-None taken.

Well, I'm sorry this was the only way.

We'll work on Mom, okay?

Thanks.

And since she knows you're okay,
I guess there's no real reason to rush.

-How about we walk?
-Ugh. Call me.

Yeah, I will.

I was talking to Eric.

What is wrong with you?
This is not who you are.

And who are you right now? Dad?

We're not doing this now.
We can do this at home.

Except I'm not going home.
I'm going with my friends.

BLAIR:
Coming, Jenny?

Yeah, one second.

Look, I'm sorry that things
got out of hand tonight.

-To say the least.
-I know who Blair and those girls are.

But I know who I am. And I'm not gonna
forget that because I hang out with them.

Come on. We're leaving.

I'm coming.

But just let me go, please.

I mean, look, I'll be tucked in bed
in a half-hour, I promise.

-All right, all right. Yeah, go ahead.
-Thank you.

-Hey.
-Hey.

I gotta take him back to the center,
so we should probably just call it a night.

-What? No, I'll go with you.
-No, it's okay. You don't have to.

I want to.

Come on, let's go.

This just in:
Truth or dare has gone into overtime.

Looks like no one told Little J you
don't beat a Waldorf at her own game.

JENNY: You want me to steal the jacket
from the mannequin?

-That's right.
-Blair, it's your mom's store.

I mean, you could have
anything you want.

So can you. Unless you don't want to.

Which is totally understandable.
And I wouldn't judge you for that.

-I don't get it.
-Then you don't have to do it.

It's just a shame,
because you've come so far.

The jacket?

Just the jacket.

Oh, God.

Five, four, three...

...two, one.

Okay, come on, we're out of here.

[ALARM RINGING]

Guys, come back. Let me out.

[LILY CHUCKLES]

Are you still the same guy you were
when I took this photo?

RUFUS: What? You took that photo?
You weren't even at that show.

Oh, excuse me.

If I remember,
the first song was about me.

The second one
was about your motorcycle.

And then there was the one
about that surf town. What was it?

-Sayulita.
-Sayulita.

Fisherman's town.

Was that the one with the villa,
where we...?

Yes, indeed it was.

God, I must've taken
eight rolls of film that night.

Why did you give up photography,
anyway?

You loved it so much.

Well, I guess I figured
social climbing would be more fulfilling.

I even remember
the black dress I wore that night.

-Really?
-Yeah.

You know,
I think it may have actually been blue.

I thought you said
you didn't remember me being there.

[PHONE RINGING]

Can you grab that, Lil?
And if it's my son, be nice to him.

Hello? Humphrey residence.

Hi, Alison.

Yeah, it's Lily.

Yeah, hold on, just--

Alison?

[CLICKS]

[DIAL TONE HUMS]

Looks like you're gonna have
some explaining to do.

Trust me, I don't owe Alison
any explanation right now.

You know what?
I've overstayed my welcome.

Okay.

I hope everything turns out all right.

Yeah, me too.
Thanks for babysitting me.

And thank you
for being such a good friend.

Yeah, it was almost fun.

Good night, Rufus.

I'm gonna need you to show me
some form of identification.

I'm only 14, I don't have any.

What are you doing out at this hour?

-I--
-What's your name?

My name is Blair Waldorf.
This is my mother's shop.

Her name is Eleanor.

I left my jacket here earlier,
which irritates my mother to no end.

And I completely forgot about the alarm.

All right, what's your home
phone number so we can call her?

She's not home,
but she's in Paris until Thursday.

It's six hours ahead, if you wanna call.

She's gonna be so angry.

Well, look, we can't just let you go
without confirming your story.

I have my own set of keys.

You could watch me lock up.

Well, I can see why your brother
would wanna leave.

That place is very depressing.

And yet it's designed
to treat depression.

He's a good kid, Eric. He is.

Yeah. Jenny's not so bad either.

Yeah?

-Yeah.
-Yeah, I know, I know.

I just worry about her sometimes.

Well, worry looks cute on you.

Look, I've seen Jenny in action.

And my hunch is she doesn't get pushed
in anything she doesn't wanna do.

No, I know, I know, it's just....

She's never mentioned
her idea of a great Friday night...

...consists of painting her face
full of makeup...

...and stumbling out
to a hip bar in high heels...

...hanging out with drunk Wall Streeters
who don't even care if she has a name.

Maybe that wasn't her idea
of a great Friday night.

-What do you mean?
-It's okay for her to wanna be friends...

-...with people she goes to school with.
-Why? I'm not.

Uh-huh.

And if you made half the effort she did,
maybe we would've met a long time ago.

That's true.

And so maybe
you would have kissed me already.

No five-star restaurants...

...no Town Car.

No smoky pool hall or bad '80s music.

Looks like we finally found
common ground.

[TIM'S "SOMETHING LIKE THAT"
PLAYS ON STEREO]

ERIC: Hey, Mom.
-Hey.

-Sorry about tonight.
-Oh, we'll talk about it in the morning.

After you've had a good night's sleep
in your own bed.

I'm going home?

I'm not sure exactly
how this is gonna work, you know.

Hey, I'm not worried.

It's a good thing I didn't unpack.

Catch.

Jenny?

Well, well,
looks like you came to play after all.

You know which trundle bed is yours.

Sleep tight, you've earned it.

Actually, I'm going home.

But thanks for inviting me,
it was a blast.

What do you mean you're going home?
Nobody ever leaves a sleepover.

Well, I guess
there's a first for everything.

Oh, and I'm keeping the jacket,
if that's okay with you.

Monday, lunch on the steps?

Done and done.

Word is Jenny Humphrey k*lled
at Blair Waldorf's sleepover.

It was a debut the likes of which
haven't been seen...

...since Blair herself.

If Blair's gotta watch her back, Serena
needs to keep an eye on her heart.

We hear it may have been stolen
by Lonely Boy.

Putting out an APB, Gossip Girl.