5x23 - The Fugitives

[bunniefuu]

Gossip Girl here Your one and only source into the scandalous lives of Manhattan's elite.

I would like to cordially invite you to join this summer's group of artists at the Italian Arts and Letters Institute in Rome.

I would never stand in the way of an opportunity like that.

You have to take it.

You didn't hear her.

Or Chuck.

It was--it was like she wanted me to leave so she could just spend all summer with him.

I'm saying no.

Why? I can work anywhere.

I don't think my relationship can.

It's over.

And unless you want the whole world to know you run a high-class prost*tute ring, you're gonna walk away from "The Spectator" forever.

My computer's gone.

Gossip Girl.

She took it.

How do you know that? 'Cause we set you up.

The old Gossip Girl hurt people, but I'm different.

No, you're not, Serena.

Either way, it's over.

The real Gossip Girl is back.

Whatever you saw or you think you saw, you can't tell Chuck.

He has a right to know.

Do you realize how many people will get hurt if this gets out? Whatever it is, you can tell me, Blair.

You need to go back into that house.

Dad.

Oh, my God.

So the car accident was real.

I was lucky to survive it.

But it wasn't an accident.

I'd been threatened.

By who? Very powerful competitor of mine.

I had information on some transactions of his that could've put him away for a very long time.

When his threats didn't work You had someone ram your limo with a truck? Dad, you could've gone to the police.

You didn't have to-- Yes, I did.

He'd made it quite clear that both you and Lily were fair game.

Once I realized his threats weren't empty, the only way out was to make him believe he'd already won.

Once I got to the hospital that night, I thought that would be my best chance.

So, what, you just paid some doctor to switch off the machines, and hope Lily was crying so much, she wouldn't notice you were actually still breathing? What did we bury in that coffin? Charles I am here with you now, trying to explain.

Humphrey residence.

Blair Waldorf speaking.

Oh, hi, Alessandra.

No, he's in the shower.

Can I take a message? Mm-hmm.

Got it.

Yeah, no, don't worry.

I will tell him the second I see him.

That was your agent.

She wants you to reconsider the program in Rome, which is odd because you told me they went with someone else.

Uh, well, yesterday, when you ended up with Chuck, I was a little nervous about leaving for the whole summer.

And I know you told me there's other people there, it's not romantic, but Come on.

It's Chuck.

So you lied to me? Uh, I-I figured you would think I was just some jealous freak if I told the truth.

Well, maybe because you are.

But you don't have to be.

You have nothing to worry about.

Take the offer.

It's an amazing opportunity, and I would never stand in the way of it.

It means the entire summer apart.

But it's not like I can't come visit.

Rome is just two glasses of chardonnay away.

Call her back.

It's not too late to change your mind.

I assure you, there's no need to worry.

The police were never there.

The entire thing was a false alarm.

Your wife will not find out.

And if you are indeed headed for a third divorce, it will not be due to this.

Nope, no bother at all.

Cheers.

I want you out of here today.

After all the fun we've had together? What would people think if they knew about your side business? Is that a threat? Because I am your main financial backer, and we did sleep together-- sometimes right here in these offices.

So exposing me would only embarrass "The Spectator" and you.

Then I'll find another way.

You've done nothing but spread lies and cause trouble since you arrived.

I wanna actually build something here, and I can't do that with you around.

You have no idea what I've gone through to legitimize myself.

I've worked hard for this paper, and I'm not about to step aside.

And as for my other business, I'm really more of a figurehead now.

Darling, don't look so disturbed.

There are far worse things than being stuck with the likes of me.

Guess what I found out this morning.

B.

, I know what you're gonna say, but first, I really wanna tell you-- Dan turned down the opportunity to spend the summer in Rome with the world's literary luminaries.

And do you know why? Because he's scared of leaving me here with Chuck.

Can you believe it? Sort of.

I mean, the most important thing in a relationship is trust.

After sex.

And hygiene.

And earning potential.

Wait.

W-what did you think I was going to say? Oh, n--I mean, no, it's not important.

Nowhere near as important as Dan and Italy and his trust issues.

We should go get coffee, and you should tell me more about it.

Wait.

Okay.

Using a very generous grading curve and rounding up because I like your outfit, that lie was a C-plus at best.

What is going on? It's something I've been wanting to talk to you about for a while now.

I've been posting on "Gossip Girl" as Gossip Girl For a couple of months now.

What? How is that possible? When Georgina left town, she gave me her laptop, and it had a direct link to the "Gossip Girl" server, passwords, the software, everything.

S.

, you had me at "Georgina.

" But I can't believe it.

W-why didn't you tell me? I don't know.

I felt like it was something I had to keep secret from everyone.

I mean, my best friend, even.

I-I know it was wrong, and I'm so sorry.

I mean, I could've helped.

Sealing fates, forging destinies Like an imperious Greek goddess, imposing her will on the guileless masses.

But I was wondering why Gossip Girl was being so nice to me lately.

And a little off her game.

No offense.

Wait, so--so you're not mad? I am furious with you for not sharing your good fortune and omnipotence.

But right now I have to go replace my mother's La Mer before she returns from Paris and discovers that I've used it all.

Wait.

Let me do that for you-- my first act of contrition.

Please.

You think I'm cashing in your "Gossip Girl" guilt chip on some overpriced eye cream? I'll think of something more useful.

It's not like I planned any of it.

I needed help, so I contacted an old friend.

Diana Payne.

In her line of work, she has a network of influential contacts throughout the world.

She utilized them to keep me safe and hidden.

She also kept me informed.

When you needed blood, we had to act fast.

She snuck me back into the country so I could provide it for you.

Thank you for that.

There's just so much I wanna know.

I guess now we have time.

You can tell me everything.

Unfortunately, I'm afraid our time is up.

If the man I'm hiding from were to discover I was still alive, he'd try and k*ll me again.

Or go after you.

Let's go after him.

All you need to know is that as long as I'm still around, we're all in danger.

I was supposed to leave last night, but my departure was delayed because of the commotion you and your friends caused.

It was wonderful to get to see you again.

It's something I didn't think I'd ever be able to do.

But I'm afraid you have to go now.

What what is this? You're kicking me out? And then what? You go and you disappear? Leave me alone again? It's for your own safety.

I'm sorry.

Thank you for meeting me.

What can I do for you, Chuck? I just found out from an extremely reliable source someone else was after my father right before his death.

I want to know who it was.

That was years ago.

Why would a source come to you now? Just look into it.

I'll triple your usual fee if you can get me a name by noon.

I'm sorry.

I can't help you with this.

Not only am I on assignment, but frankly, this seems like a waste of both our time.

If you won't help me, I'll find someone who can.

Sometimes, looking for answers only leads to more questions.

Serena, hey.

Is Blair up there? No, she had to run an errand.

I just, uh, I have some news I wanna surprise her with.

And sometimes, you're better off not knowing.

Chuck? I can't really be seen with you right now.

But how are you doing? Are you okay? Far from it.

I have to find a way to stop my father from leaving tonight.

Leaving? But you just found him.

He left to keep me safe.

Now it's my turn to save him.

Is there anywhere you have to be right now? But the best way to avoid giving an answer is to avoid the question altogether.

Is my mother back? Did she notice the eye cream already? No, it's actually Dan.

He's waiting her with big news to surprise you with.

I'm with Chuck.

B.

No, it's not like that.

He needs me.

He's going through an extremely difficult time right now.

Yeah, of course he is, especially if it means taking you away from Dan to be with him.

And you just told me Dan is having trust issues.

I know, but this is life or death.

And other than not being able to say where I am, what I'm doing, or who I'm waiting for, I honestly have nothing to hide.

Well, Dan needs you, too, and you can't be two places at once.

You're right.

I'll be right there.

Whatever news he has, I'm sure it won't take too long to relay.

Chuck I'm sorry.

I want to stay, but something came up.

Do you mind if I Diana will see you now.

I can handle this part on my own.

Thanks for waiting with me.

I don't suppose you came here to thank me? Thank you for what? Not telling me my father was alive, pretending to be my mother, or screwing my best friend? You mean for keeping your father alive, pretending to be your mother to protect him, and well, I don't expect you to thank me for Nate.

Perhaps I should thank you for that one.

Look, I'm not here to hug it out or bond over my father's resurrection.

I just need your help in keeping him here.

I'm afraid that's not possible.

I think it is.

You've been helping him hide.

I think you know who from.

Who tried to k*ll my father? I know it was one of his competitors, someone powerful enough to scare him into hiding these last few years.

I just want a name.

Does your father know you're here? If you really wanna help him, help me put an end to this.

If I do agree-- and only if-- you can never say who told you.

And I'll need something else from you.

It's not a small request.

The price is no concern.

I need this to happen as fast as possible.

Make them an offer they can't say no to, and offer them more.

Make this happen now.

Hungry? Thirsty.

Blair asked me to come check on you.

Everything okay? Blair asked you to do that? Oh, I owe her a favor or 12.

I don't need a babysitter.

Besides He already has one.

I am so sorry! Serena told me you were waiting.

I had to go to five different stores to find the right eye cream.

No, don't worry about it.

I was just catching up on some reading, which is actually for you.

A Rome travel guide? Yeah, I talked to Alessandra, who talked to the people at the program, and they said I can still go to Rome if I want.

But the best part is, you can come with me.

Wow.

All summer? Yeah.

We would have to meet with an alumnus from the program since the chairwoman is already on her way back to Italy.

You know, I mean, it's a small group, so they have to vet everyone's plus-one.

Of course.

It sounds reasonable.

Only thing is, the interview would have to be today since it's so last-minute.

So what do you think? Huh, spend the summer with me in Italy? What is she doing here? Has she come to you for help? Nathaniel, can I speak with you privately? Just a moment, please.

Take your time.

You still want her out, right? Yes.

Lola and I are coming up with a plan.

There's no need to scheme.

I've taken care of it.

There's a paper in London which is in need of a face-lift.

I've arranged for Diana to take it over at a bargain basement price.

Wait.

She didn't want to leave.

What else did you promise her? That you wouldn't expose her previous profession.

Let her leave with her reputation still in tact.

So she gets everything she wants? Where's the justice in that? There's justice in getting what we want you wanted Diana out.

I got her out.

And it's good business for me.

Now all I need to do is finalize the deal.

Hey, B.

, Diana's here and so is Nate.

It's super tense.

You have to tell me what's going on.

I can't, S.

I'm sorry.

But text me what Chuck's mood is like when they leave.

That way, I'll know if I'm needed.

Oh, hey.

What--what was Dan's big surprise? It was more of an ambush.

He got into this writing program in Rome, and he wants me to go with him the whole summer.

Oh, how dare he! Blair, that's amazing.

I told him I had to check my calendar to buy some time to think.

Oh, what's there to think about? Rome for the summer sounds like a dream.

Well, not for Romans.

The whole place will be crawling with Americans.

And you can be two of them.

But it's a big decision, and after spending last summer at Louis' side, I was hoping to do my own thing.

So your indecision has nothing to do with Chuck? Absolutely not.

My concern for him at this time is about something entirely unrelated.

Which you can't tell me about.

B.

, I hate being out of the loop.

Come on! It's simply not up to me to tell.

Sorry.

But text me with updates as to how he's doing.

Hey.

Hey.

So is she taking the offer? Getting everything she wants.

She's done nothing but lie to us.

Now she's being rewarded for it.

Well, at least she'll be gone soon.

Yeah.

We should probably warn London.

I mean, she's gonna be playing the exact same games over there, and there's not a thing we can do to stop her.

Maybe we can.

Chuck agreed that you wouldn't out Diana's secret.

But he didn't say anything about me.

So what's the verdict? I'm in.

Great! I'll call the liaison with the program to see when he can come over.

After all your father's done to protect you, I would hate to see this end in tragedy.

Are you sure you want to know who tried to k*ll him? Yes, I'm sure.

And we have a deal.

All right, then.

Mason Nevins.

One of your father's fiercest competitors with known ties to organized crime And a liking for twins.

I don't care about his sex life.

Ah, but you should.

He's quite the family man, demands the utmost discretion.

Now I'm scheduled for two of my girls to pay him a visit.

If someone were to catch him in the act, that someone would have extremely valuable blackmail material.

If your father knew, I doubt he'd approve.

Which is why not telling him is part of the deal.

Right.

Standing appointment.

The James Hotel, skyline suite.

4:00 P.

M.

He's gonna come alone.

He doesn't want anyone to know about this.

And that includes his henchmen.

Pleasure doing business with you.

Mm, that's odd.

It's my friend from the "Times.

" She can't possibly know about our little deal yet-- unless my phone is tapped, which I wouldn't put past her.

Hang on.

Marlene, darling.

How are you? You don't say.

An anonymous tip? Yes, I suppose that would be quite the scandal, if it were true, but hang on.

The deal is off, and you can forget about using my girls.

Marlene, you can't say a word of this to anybody They say the truth will set you free, but some truth comes at a price.

What have you done? Okay, someone has to tell me what's going on here.

We couldn't let her get away without any consequences.

She's done nothing but deceive all of us, including you.

It just wasn't right.

Yeah, we're sorry we messed up your deal, but this was beyond business.

It was personal.

You no idea how personal.

I made that deal with her so she would help get my father out of hiding.

Wait.

Your father-- you mean Jack? Bart.

He's alive.

The bone, Dorota? Really? Our guest is Italian.

I don't think that beige plates are very la dolce vita.

You don't think this is-- this is too much? And it's just an interview with one person.

Well, we want to impress him, right? I think they're just trying to make sure we're a sane, stable couple.

I-I guess they've had some trouble in the past.

Apparently, Padma Lakshmi and Salman Rushdie broke up during their stay And it caused all kinds of drama.

Oh.

Uh You know what? You're right.

This is all wrong.

Yeah, it's a little overboard.

No, it's not enough.

We don't want pastries.

We want gelato.

What? Whoa, whoa, whoa.

But it's important for us to show how much we love Italian culture, and what says that better than gelato? I go get gelato, miss Blair.

No.

It's okay.

I will do it, Dorota.

You never get the right flavors anyway.

No one likes pistachio anything.

But, you know, we have an hour.

I'll be back in plenty of time, I promise.

So all these years, he never made any attempt to contact you? Or my mom? Too risky.

If my memory serves me right, Lily was in the process of leaving him for Rufus.

He only came out of hiding to save me after the accident.

I was hoping to return the favor, but your little girlfriend ruined that plan when she exposed Diana.

I hope she feels justice has been served because she cost me my father.

Hey, ease up.

She didn't know about Bart. None of us did.

Well, is there anything we can do to help?

I'm not sure.

Once this guy shows up, and Diana's girls aren't there, he's gonna know something isn't right.

I need to come up with a new plan fast.

You don't need a new plan.

You just need new girls.

And since you have a Juilliard actress at your disposal, and one who wants to fix what she broke I'm sure she'd love the chance to make things right.

Wonderful.

Just tell her it's a non-union job.

While we rehearse, you go after Diana and make sure she doesn't cancel her client's appointment.

We don't want to put on a show to an empty house.

Hurry.

We only have an hour.

You're gonna need every minute I can spare.

Bart, it's Diana.

Start getting ready.

You're leaving earlier than scheduled, and I'm coming with you.

Oh, and I hope you've got that check for me.

Where is she? We have to get going.

You said you needed twins, right? Or at least two blondes around the same height.

Ivy owes me.

I'll do whatever it takes to help.

I'd love to get back in the g*ng.

But just to clarify, in order to be "back in the g*ng", you would've had to be in the g*ng to begin with.

We don't need Ivy.

I can do it.

After all, B.

, you have that thing you need to get to.

Actually, I have a different acting job for you-- a part you know better than anyone.

Mr.

Daniel Humphrey, this Mr.

Emilio Pivano.

Thank you for coming on--on such short notice.

It's a pleasure to meet an esteemed alumnus of the program.

I read your book.

Not a bad debut.

Easy to see the potential.

Thank you.

How many people were you expecting? Only you.

Uh, that's just my girlfriend Blair.

She loves variety and themes.

In fact, funny story-- um, being that the program is in Rome, she wanted us to have gelato, so she--she went out to get some since we didn't have any here.

Knowing, uh, miss Blair, she go to Chelsea market for best gelato in city.

And, I mean, what--what says "Italy" better than, uh, gelato? Sh-she'll--she'll be-- she'll be back in just a moment.

Sorry I'm late.

I got stuck in traffic.

Babe, I'm sorry.

Hi.

I'm Blair Waldorf.

So nice to meet you.

Looks like S.

is B.

S.

ing as B.

Let's hope this works.

There's no place like Rome.

Where is the gelato? I actually didn't even like him at first.

I thought that he was annoying and unpopular and from Brooklyn.

And I would, uh, antagonize him on a daily basis.

We--we really couldn't stand each other for years.

But it's like a movie now, you know, because we're just madly in love.

Mm, n-not--not that madly.

It's a--it's a-- it's a calm, stable love.

We're--we're very secure in it.

We don't have to worry about it.

Yeah, yeah, it's like we were meant to be.

Mm.

Like Brad and Angelina once they got rid of Jennifer.

Yeah, I mean, not that dramatic.

Obviously, there was no Jennifer.

You'll have to excuse Blair.

She's not really feeling herself today.

You know, the point is, if Dan is in Rome, I wanna be in Rome.

That sounds wonderful.

You two make an interesting couple.

Uh, excuse me one moment.

I have to take this call.

Where the hell is Blair? If she didn't want to come to Rome with me, she should've just said so.

Something came up.

Is she with Chuck? No.

Of course not.

She's with Eleanor.

But she knows how important this is to you, and she wants to go, so she sent me in her place.

Well, you're not really helping.

He just said we make an interesting couple.

Not in a good way.

I cannot believe that Blair would do this.

What could be more important? I handpicked these myself.

You really want us to wear one of those? If it helps to get into character.

Or you can have him choose your outfits and stay clothed for now.

Okay.

When Nevins shows up, take charge immediately.

Remember, you are pros.

You call the shots.

What if he wants to touch us? SWAT his hand away and tell him "no.

" Treat him like the dog he is.

How do you know this will work? You think this is the first time I've entrapped someone with prostit*tes? Every good girl has a pair.

Now when the time is right, Chuck will burst in and take pictures, and then your work here is done.

Oh.

And if you get his clothes off before you cuff him to the bed, it'll make things a lot easier.

What are you doing here? Came to say a proper good-bye.

Sorry.

Short on time.

Besides, what about your girlfriend? That's not what I meant.

Your friend from the "Times" is on her way here now.

She seems interested in hearing what I have to say.

Why would she believe you? I made a copy of your day planner.

I can explain the code.

You don't understand.

I have to reach Bart.

As if you care about anyone but yourself.

Nate I made several bad choices early on in life.

But I wanted to escape that world and start fresh.

"The Spectator" is my shot at doing that, and being here with you it's the happiest I've ever been.

I don't believe you.

You lied to me from the moment we randomly met in Los Angeles, and you're lying to me now.

I never lied about my feelings to you.

I think in your heart you know that.

Nate, I can't go back to my old life, and I stand no choice of starting a new one with my name in the headlines.

Must you keep me here to humiliate me on top of all that? I apologize for cutting this short, but I think we've covered everything.

Um, thank you for coming by.

I'm sorry if we wasted your time.

Not your fault.

Lucia insisted we do this.

But I'm sure you'll both have a nice time in Rome.

Just watch out for pickpockets.

Che bastardi.

Wait a second.

I'm sorry.

Are you--are you saying that, uh, we got in? Of course.

This was just a formality, and if I didn't have a deadline to meet for my new novel, I would love to sit around and chat more with you guys.

You really do make a lovely couple.

A lot of energy, that one.

Hello.

I'm Eleanor Waldorf.

Oh.

You have a lovely daughter.

I can see where she gets her beauty from.

Okay, thank you so much for coming, but don't forget that deadline, buddy.

Serena, how are you? Hello! I am good.

Thank you.

Uh, wh-where's Blair? I haven't seen her yet.

Excuse me.

So what if we, like, lay down on the bed in a in a sexy pose? Yeah.

But I don't know.

Maybe we could just, like, stand here and look sexy.

When we were doing all those crazy exercises in acting class, who would have thought that we'd end up here? Holding an imaginary orange in our hands.

Oh, God.

He's here.

Break a leg.

Whatever.

Are you Diana's girls? Strip down to your underwear and get on the bed.

You don't understand.

We heard you like it rough.

What do you want your safe word to be? I am not the client.

Chuck sent me.

You're in danger, and so is Bart.

Nevins got wise to your plan.

Chuck's on his way to see Bart now, and we're supposed to regroup there.

He said that you would know the way.

I do, yeah.

Well, good, 'cause we really need to go.

Come on.

Chuck. Chuck!

I wish you would have told me earlier you were having your P.I.

take the pictures.

I told the girls you would be doing it.

I am.

What are you talking about? Andrew Tyler.

I saw him get into an elevator as I came down.

You didn't send him? I didn't send Andrew anywhere.

Lola? Ivy? Where could they have gone? Uh-oh, Chuck.

You might need to have your private investigator investigated.

So I'm a little confused.

First, Blair says she's running out to get gelato, and then you say she's with Eleanor, and then Eleanor says she hasn't seen Blair all day.

So where's Blair? She's with Chuck.

I knew it.

I know it's hard, Dan, but you're gonna have to trust her.

How am I supposed to trust her around Chuck when I know she doesn't love me? I mean, that's the real reason she doesn't wanna come away with me.

I'm sorry.

That's--I-I should talk about this to someone else.

No, I-I can handle it.

I told Blair I loved her, and she didn't say it back.

Oh, Dan, you know how many times she's been burned by that word.

First, Chuck took a year to say it, and then Louis said it too soon.

I know how much she cares about you.

She may not have said it then, but she will.

Even if that is true, that doesn't change the fact that she lied to me.

This lie is different.

It's It's life or death.

Come on.

I know you Upper East Siders are partial to hyperbole, but it's-- Not this time.

Bart Bass is alive.

What? Chuck? Bart? Hello? Well, this is the room he was in yesterday.

Maybe he changed rooms.

You stay here.

We'll go check.

How about I come with you-- for protection? Oh, wait.

Here he comes.

What the Surprised to see me? Until you found out I was still alive.

Leave us.

You were the last person I saw before the accident.

You got out of the car right before it happened.

When Blair told me she saw you at the hotel earlier, I started thinking.

It wasn't a competitor that tried to k*ll him.

It was you.

You hired me to gather intel on Nevins, and I did.

A lot of it.

But he found out, and he threatened me and my family.

It was either you or them, so I turned.

Told him I'd work for him.

And to prove my loyalty, I helped get you out of the way.

I told 'em where you'd be-- in the car, and they told me when to get out.

Did you get all that? Every word.

Officers? I guess now the police know the truth.

You'll be sticking around.

When you care about someone, you want them to stay.

Come in.

Someone from the "Times" is here.

Yeah, tell her Diana's already gone, and she took her book day planner with her.

But sometimes, showing you care means letting them go.

Hi.

Hey.

How'd everything go? Pretty great, considering.

Bart Bass is alive and safe.

Chuck stayed up there with him.

They're talking to the police.

And Ivy and Lola? You would have been proud, if you liked either of them.

But if Lola hadn't texted where they were going, we might not have ever beat them up there.

Well, maybe I should give her some more credit.

Well, thanks for covering for me with Dan.

I called him on the way back.

He said we're going to Italy.

Well, that's great news, isn't it? Of course.

I I just hope they're not disappointed with the real Blair Waldorf when they meet her.

Oh, they never could be.

But you should probably know you volunteered to teach English at a local school while you're there.

Well, I guess I can't spend all my time shopping on the Via Condotti.

You could only stare up at the Sistine Chapel for so long.

Thanks, S.

You really are my best friend.

Hmm.

I love you, B.

I love you, too.

Speaking of which, maybe it's time to tell Dan how you feel about him? He told you about that? I'm not ready.

I really want the next person I say it to, to be the last.

You're packing to come home, right? Right.

Now that we have Tyler's confession, we can get Nevins.

And I can show my face again.

I wanna thank you, son.

I didn't think this was gonna be possible, but the way you took control, got me out of this mess, makes me think I did something right in raising you.

I think we both know you didn't raise me.

You were too busy with all those inappropriate transient women to teach me any viable life lessons Except those about inappropriate transient women.

I will have to lay low, hire security.

We'll take care of it together, like a family.

Speaking of which, what about Lily? Have you thought about how you wanna break the news to her? I'm not sure.

My relationship with Lily was on the rocks.

You and I were going through a difficult time.

Maybe hiding all these years was easier than facing things head-on.

Well How about we try group therapy next time instead? So how did Diana get away? What did she do, go out the window? Wouldn't put it past her.

But whatever happened, I don't think we'll see her again.

Oh, good.

Then I get your full attention.

Yeah.

Blair, it's three months.

We can't--we can't spend the entire summer living at the Hotel de Russie.

Well, of course not.

We also have to stay at the Portrait Suites, which is right above Ferragamo.

Of course.

That may be more for me.

Do you really wanna spend the entire summer with me in Rome? Chuck's dad is alive.

That is gonna change his world deeply.

His, yes, but not mine.

I understand why you did what you did today, but I need to know, for me, for us What is really happening here? There is nothing I want more than to spend the summer right by your side.

Where are you going? I just realized that somebody should probably break the news about Bart to my dad.

Well, then I will start researching restaurants.

We have 3 months.

That's 90 days, which is 270 meals.

I may need to create a spreadsheet.

You want camomile tea before bed, miss Serena? I just make for miss Eleanor, catch up on all the gossip, watch "Toddlers & Tiaras.

" Please, no more tiaras of any kind.

You have smile in eyes.

It's so nice to see you away from that computer.

Yeah, the computer's gone, and I finally feel like I'm getting my life back, and my friends back, too.

Feels good.

Oh.

It's probably Blair now.

Evening, Upper East Siders.

Many of you have complained I've been too kind to S.

and B.

these last few months.

But all of that's about to change because I've got a page from Blair Waldorf's diary, where she tells all about who's really in her heart.

And there's lots more where that came from, courtesy of her B.

F.

F.

, S.

V.

D.

W.

X.

O.

X.

O.

, Gossip Girl.

[bunniefuu]

(OG version)


WOMAN:
Where has she been?

GOSSIP GIRL:
And who am I?

That's one secret I'll never tell.

You know you love me. XOXO...

...Gossip Girl.

[EKG FLATLINING]

CHUCK:
So the car accident was real.

I was lucky to survive it.

But it wasn't an accident.

-I'd been threatened.
-By who?

A very powerful competitor of mine.

I had information
on some transactions of his...

...that could've put him away.

-But his threats didn't work.
-He had someone ram your limo...

...with a truck?
You could've gone to the police.

-You didn't have to--
-Yes, I did.

He'd made it quite clear
that both you and Lily were fair game.

Once I realized
his threats weren't empty...

...the only way out was to make him
believe he'd already won.

Once I got to the hospital,
I thought that'd be my chance.

So, what? You just paid some doctor
to switch off the machines?

Hoped Lily was crying so much she
wouldn't notice you were breathing?

What did we bury in that coffin?

Charles, I am here with you now
trying to explain.

[PHONE RINGING]

Humphrey residence,
Blair Waldorf speaking.

Oh, hi, Alessandra. No, he's
in the shower. Can I take a message?

[DOOR OPENS]

Mm-hm. Got it.

Yeah, no, don't worry,
I'll tell him the second I see him.

That was your agent.
She wants you to reconsider Rome...

...which is odd because you told me
they went with someone else.

Ah, yesterday, when you ended up
with Chuck...

...I was nervous about leaving
for the summer.

And I know you told me.
There was other people there, but...

...come on, it's Chuck.

So you lied to me?

Ah, well, I figured you would think I was
just some jealous freak if I told the truth.

Well, maybe because you are.

[BLAIR SCOFFS]

But you don't have to be.

You have nothing to worry about.

Take the offer,
it's an amazing opportunity.

And I would never stand
in the way of it.

It means the entire summer apart.

But it's not like I can't come visit.
Rome is two glasses of chardonnay away.

Call her back.
It's not too late to change your mind.

DIANA:
I assure you, there's no need to worry.

The police were never there,
the entire thing was a false alarm.

Your wife will not find out.

And if you are indeed headed for
a third divorce, it will not be due to this.

No. No bother at all. Cheers.

[SIGHS]

I want you out of here. Today.

After all the fun we've had together?

What would people think if they
knew about your side business?

Is that a threat?

Because I am your main financial backer
and we did sleep together.

Sometimes right here in these offices.

So exposing me would only embarrass
The Spectator and you.

Then I'll find another way.

You've done nothing but spread lies
and cause trouble since you arrived.

I wanna actually build something here
and I can't do that with you around.

You have no idea what I've
gone through to legitimize myself.

I've worked hard for this paper
and I'm not about to step aside.

And as for my other business...

...I'm really more of a figurehead now.

Darling, don't look so disturbed.

There are far worse things
than being stuck with the likes of me.

[NATE SIGHS]

-Guess what I found out?
-I know what you're gonna say...

-...but I wanna tell you--
-Dan turned down the opportunity...

...to spend the summer in Rome with the
world's literary luminaries. Know why?

Because he's scared of leaving me here
with Chuck.

-Can you believe it?
-Sort of.

I mean, the most important thing
in a relationship is trust.

After sex and hygiene...

...and earning potential.

Wait. What did you think
I was going to say?

Oh, no, I mean, it's not important.

Nowhere near as important
as Dan and Italy and his trust issues.

We should go get coffee.

Wait. Okay,
using a very generous grading curve...

...and rounding up
because I like your outfit...

...that lie was a C-plus at best.
What is going on?

[SIGHS]

It's something I've been wanting
to talk to you about for a while.

I've been posting on Gossip Girl
as Gossip Girl...

...for a couple months now.

What? How is that possible?

When Georgina left,
she gave me her laptop...

...and it had a direct link to the server,
passwords, the software, everything--

S, you had me at "Georgina," but I can't
believe it. Why didn't you tell me?

I don't know. I felt like it was something
I had to keep secret from everyone.

I mean, my best friend, even.

I know it was wrong and I'm so sorry.

I mean, I could've helped.

Sealing fates, forging destinies...

...like an imperious Greek goddess...

...imposing her will
on the guileless masses.

But I was wondering why Gossip Girl
was being so nice to me lately.

And a little off her game. No offense.

So you're not mad?

I'm furious with you.

For not sharing your good fortune
and omnipotence.

[CHUCKLES]

But right now, I have to go replace
my mother's La Mer...

...before she returns
and discovers I've used it all.

Wait, let me do that for you.
My first act of contrition.

Oh, please. Think I'm cashing in
your Gossip Girl guilt-chip...

...on some overpriced eye cream?
I'll think of something more useful.

It's not like I planned any of it.
I needed help.

So I contacted an old friend.

Diana Payne.

In her line of work, she has
a network of influential contacts.

She utilized them to keep me safe
and hidden.

She also kept me informed.

When you needed blood,
we had to act fast.

She snuck me back into the country
so I could provide it.

Thank you for that.

There's just so much I wanna know.

I guess now we have time.
You can tell me everything.

Unfortunately, I'm afraid
our time is up.

If the man I'm hiding from discovered
I was alive, he'd try to k*ll me again.

Or go after you.

Let's go after him.

All you need to know is that as long
as I'm still around, we're all in danger.

I was supposed to leave last night,
but was delayed...

...because of the commotion
you and your friends caused.

It was wonderful
to get to see you again.

It's something I didn't think
I'd ever be able to do.

But I'm afraid you have to go now.

What--? What is this?

You're kicking me out?

And then what?

You go and you disappear?

Leave me alone again?

It's for your own safety.

I'm sorry.

CHUCK: Thank you for meeting me.
-What can I do for you, Chuck?

I found out from
an extremely reliable source...

...someone was after
my father before his death.

I wanna know who it was.

That was years ago.

Why would a source
come to you now?

Just look into it. I'll triple your usual fee
if you can get me a name by noon.

I'm sorry, I can't help you with this.

Not only am I on assignment, frankly,
this seems like a waste of both our time.

If you won't help me,
I'll find someone who can.

GOSSIP GIRL: Sometimes looking for
answers only leads to more questions.

-Serena, hey. Is Blair up there?
-No, she had to run an errand.

I have some news
I wanna surprise her with.

GOSSIP GIRL: And sometimes
you're better off not knowing.

BLAIR: Chuck. I can't really be seen
with you right now.

But how are you doing?

Are you okay?

Far from it.

I have to stop my father
from leaving tonight.

Leaving? But you just found him.

He left to keep me safe.
Now it's my turn to save him.

Is there anywhere
you have to be right now?

GOSSIP GIRL:
But the best way to avoid giving an answer...

...is to avoid the question altogether.

[PHONE RINGS]

Is my mother back?
Did she notice the eye cream already?

No, it's Dan. He's here with big news
to surprise you with.

-I'm with Chuck.
-B.

No, it's not like that. He needs me.

He's going through
an extremely difficult time.

Yeah, of course he is.

Especially if it means taking you
away from Dan.

You just told me
Dan is having trust issues.

I know, but this is life or death.

And other than not being able
to say where I am...

...what I'm doing or who I'm waiting for,
I honestly have nothing to hide.

Well, Dan needs you too
and you can't be two places at once.

You're right. I'll be right there.

Whatever news he has,
I'm sure it won't take too long to relay.

Chuck, I'm sorry.

I wanna stay, but something came up.
Do you mind if I--?

Diana will see you now.

I can handle this part on my own.
Thanks for waiting with me.

-I don't suppose you came to thank me.
-Thank you for what?

Not telling me my father was alive?

Pretending to be my mother
or screwing my best friend?

You mean,
for keeping your father alive...

...for pretending to be your mother
to protect him...

...and, well,
I don't expect you to thank me for Nate.

-Perhaps I should thank you for that one.
-I'm not here to bond...

...over my father's resurrection.
I need your help keeping him here.

-I'm afraid that's not possible.
-I think it is.

You've been helping him hide,
I think you know who from.

Who tried to k*ll my father?

It was one of his competitors, someone
powerful enough to scare him...

...into hiding these last few years.

I just want a name.

Does your father know you're here?

If you really wanna help him,
help me put an end to this.

If I do agree, and only if,
you can never say who told you.

And I'll need something else from you.

It's not a small request.

Price is no concern,
I need this to happen as fast as possible.

Make them an offer they can't say no to,
then offer them more.

Make it happen. Now.

-Hungry?
-Thirsty.

Blair asked me to come check on you.

-Blair asked you to do that?
-I owe her a favor or 12.

I don't need a babysitter.

Besides, he already has one.

I am so sorry,
Serena told me you were waiting.

I had to go to five stores
to find the right eye cream.

I was just catching up on some reading,
which is for you.

BLAIR: A travel guide.
-Alessandra talked to the people...

...at the program
and I can still go to Rome.

But the best part is
you can come with me.

Oh, wow.

-All summer?
-Yeah.

We would have to meet
with an alumnus from the program...

...since the chairwoman
is on her way to Italy.

It's a small group,
so they have to vet everyone's plus one.

-That sounds reasonable.
-The thing is...

...the interview would have to be today
since it's so last minute.

So, what do you think? Huh?

Spend the summer with me in Italy?

[ELEVATOR BELL DINGS]

CHUCK:
Details--

[DOOR OPENS]

What is she doing here?
Has she come to you for help?

Nathaniel, can I speak
with you privately? A moment, please.

Take your time.

-You still want her out, right?
-Yes.

-Lola and I are coming up with a plan.
-No need. I've taken care of it.

There's a paper
in London in need of a facelift.

I've arranged for Diana to take it over
at a bargain price.

Wait, what else did you promise her?

You wouldn't expose her profession,
let her leave with her reputation intact.

So she gets everything she wants?
Where's the justice?

There's justice in getting what we want.
You wanted Diana out, I got her out.

And it's good business for me.

Now, all I need to do
is finalize the deal.

Hey, B. Diana's here and so is Nate.
It's super tense.

-You have to tell me what's going on.
-I can't, S, I'm sorry.

Text me what Chuck's mood is like.
I'll know if I'm needed.

-Oh, hey, what was Dan's big surprise?
-It was more of an ambush.

He got into this writing program in Rome
and he wants me to go with him.

How dare he. Blair, that's amazing.

[SCOFFS]

I told him I had to check my calendar
to buy some time to think.

Uh, what's there to think about? Rome for
the summer sounds like a dream.

Not for Romans. The place
will be crawling with Americans.

SERENA [OVER PHONE]:
And you can be two of them.

It's a big decision. After spending
last summer at Louis' side...

...I was hoping to do my own thing.

So your indecision
has nothing to do with Chuck?

Absolutely not.

My concern for him at this time
is about something entirely unrelated.

Which you can't tell me about.
B, I hate being out of the loop.

-Come on.
BLAIR: It's not up to me to tell. Sorry.

But text me with updates
as to how he's doing.

-Hey.
NATE: Ugh, Hey.

-So is she taking the offer?
-Getting everything she wants.

She's done nothing but lie
and she's being rewarded.

-Well, at least she'll be gone soon.
-Yeah, we should warn London.

She's gonna be playing the same games.
There's nothing we can do to stop her.

Maybe we can. Chuck agreed
that you wouldn't out Diana's secret...

...but he didn't say anything about me.

So? What's the verdict?

-I'm in.
-Great.

[CHUCKLES]

I'll call the liaison from the program
to see when he can come over.

After all your father's done
to protect you...

...I would hate to see this end
in tragedy.

[CHUCK SIGHS]

Are you sure you want to know
who tried to k*ll him?

Yes, I'm sure. And we have a deal.

All right then.

Mason Nevins.

One of your father's fiercest competitors
with known ties to organized crime.

And a liking for twins.

I don't care about his sex life.

Oh, but you should.
He's quite the family man.

Demands the utmost discretion.

I'm scheduled
for two of my girls to pay him a visit...

...if someone were to catch him
in the act...

...that someone would have
extremely valuable blackmail material.

If your father knew,
I doubt he'd approve.

Which is why not telling him
is part of the deal.

Right. It's a standing appointment.

The James Hotel, Skyline Suite, 4 p.m.
He's gonna come alone.

He doesn't want anyone to know about
this and that includes his henchmen.

Pleasure doing business with you.

[PHONE RINGING]

Hmm. That's odd.

It's my friend at the Times.
She can't know about our deal yet.

Unless my phone is tapped,
which I wouldn't put past her. Hang on.

Marlene, darling. How are you?

You don't say. An anonymous tip?

Yes, I suppose that would be quite
the scandal if it were true, but hang on.

The deal is off
and you can forget about using my girls.

Marlene, you can't say a word of this
to anybody.

GOSSIP GIRL: They say the truth will set
you free, but some truth comes at a price.

-What have you done?
-Someone tell me what's going on here.

We couldn't let her get away
without consequences.

She's done nothing but deceive all of us,
including you. It wasn't right.

We're sorry we messed up your deal,
but this was personal.

You have no idea how personal.

I made that deal so she'd
help get my father out of hiding.

-By your father you mean Jack?
-Bart.

He's alive.

Ah, the bone? Dorota, really.
Our guest is Italian.

I don't think that beige plates are very
La Dolce Vita.

You don't think this is too much?
It's just an interview with one person.

Well, we want to impress him, right?

They're trying to make sure
we're a sane, stable couple.

I guess they've had trouble in the past.

Padma Lakshmi and Salman Rushdie
broke up and it caused drama.

[PHONE BEEPS]

Oh, uh....

You know what,
you're right, this is all wrong.

-Yeah, it's a little overboard.
-No, it's not enough.

We don't want pastries.
We want gelato.

What? Whoa. Whoa. Whoa.

It's important to show
we love Italian culture...

...and what says that better
than gelato?

-I go get gelato, Miss Blair.
-No. It's okay.

I will do it, Dorota.

You never get the right flavors.

No one likes pistachio anything.
But we have an hour.

I'll be back in plenty of time, I promise.

So all these years, he never made
any attempt to contact you?

-Or my mom?
-Too risky.

If memory serves me right, Lily was
in the process of leaving him for Rufus.

He only came out of hiding
to save me after the accident.

I was hoping to return the favor...

...but your girlfriend ruined
that when she exposed Diana.

I hope she feels justice has been served.
She cost me my father.

Hey, ease up. She didn't know
about Bart. None of us did.

-Is there anything we can do to help?
-I'm not sure.

Guy shows up
and Diana's girls aren't there...

...he's gonna know something isn't right.
I need a new plan, fast.

BLAIR:
You don't need a new plan.

You just need new girls. Since you have
a Juilliard actress at your disposal...

...and one who wants to fix
what she broke.

She'd love the chance
to make things right.

Wonderful.
Just tell her it's a non-union job.

While we rehearse,
go after Diana.

Make sure she doesn't cancel
her appointment.

We don't wanna put on a show
to an empty house.

Hurry. We only have an hour.

You're gonna need every minute
I can spare.

Bart? It's Diana.

Get ready,
you're leaving earlier than scheduled.

And I'm coming with you.

Oh, and I hope you've got
that check for me.

[PHONE BEEPS]

Where is she? We have to get going.

[ELEVATOR BELL DINGS]

LOLA:
You said you needed twins, right?

Or at least two blondes
around the same height, heh.

Ivy owes me.

I'll do whatever it takes to help.

I'd love to get back in the g*ng.

[IVY CHUCKLES]

But just to clarify,
in order to be back in the g*ng...

...you would have had to be
in the g*ng to begin with.

We don't need Ivy. I can do it.

After all, B, you have that thing
you need to get to.

Uh....

Actually, I have a different acting job
for you.

A part you know better than anyone.

[ELEVATOR BELL RINGS
AND DOOR OPENS]

Mr. Daniel Humphrey,
this, Mr. Emilio Pivano.

Thank you for coming
on short notice.

Pleasure to meet an esteemed alumnus.

I read your book. Not a bad debut.

Easy to see the potential.

Thank you.

How many people
were you expecting?

Heh. Only you.

Uh, that's just my girlfriend, Blair.
She loves variety. And themes.

In fact, funny story.

Um, being that the program is in Rome,
she wanted us to have gelato.

She went out to get some
since we didn't have any here.

Knowing Miss Blair, she go to
Chelsea Market for best gelato in city.

I mean, what says Italy
better than, uh, gelato?

She'll be back in just a moment.

[ELEVATOR BELL DINGS]

SERENA:
Sorry I'm late. Heh.

I got stuck in traffic.
Babe, I'm sorry.

Hi, I'm Blair Waldorf.
So nice to meet you.

GOSSIP GIRL:
Looks like S is BSing as B.

Let's hope this works.
There's no place like Rome.

Where is the gelato?

I actually didn't even like him at first.

I thought he was annoying
and unpopular and from Brooklyn.

I would, uh, antagonize him
on a daily basis.

We really couldn't stand each other
for years.

But it's like a movie now, you know,
because we're just madly in love.

Not that madly. It's a--
It's a calm, stable love.

We're secure.
You don't have to worry.

Yeah, yeah.
It's like we were meant to be.

Like Brad and Angelina,
once they got rid of Jennifer.

I mean, not that dramatic.
Obviously, there was no Jennifer.

You'll have to excuse Blair,
she's not feeling herself.

[PHONE RINGING]

You know, the point is,
if Dan is in Rome, I wanna be in Rome.

[SERENA GRUNTS
AND THEN CHUCKLES]

That sounds wonderful.

You two make an interesting couple.

Excuse me.
I have to take this call.

[PIVANO SPEAKING IN ITALIAN]

Where the hell is Blair?

She didn't wanna come to Rome,
she should've said so.

Something came up.

Is she with Chuck?

No. Of course not. She's with Eleanor.

She knows how important
this is to you, and she wants to go...

...so she sent me in her place.

-You're not really helping.
-Hmm, I don't know.

He said
we make an "interesting couple."

Not in a good way.

I cannot believe Blair would do this.
What could be more important?

I hand-picked these myself.

You really want us to wear
one of those?

If it helps get in character.

Or you can have him choose your outfit
and stay clothed for now.

Okay, when Nevins shows up,
take charge immediately.

Remember, you are pros.
You call the shots.

What if he wants to touch us?

Heh. Swat his hand away and tell him "no."
Treat him like the dog he is.

How do you know this will work?

Heh, you think this is the first time
I've entrapped someone with prostit*tes?

Every good girl has a pair.

When the time is right,
Chuck will burst in and take pictures...

...and then your work here is done.

Oh, if you get his clothes off
before you cuff him to the bed...

...it'll make things a lot easier.

What are you doing here?

I came to say a proper goodbye.

Sorry, short on time.
Besides, what about your girlfriend?

That's not what I meant.

Your friend from The Times
is on her way.

She's interested in hearing
what I have to say.

Why would she believe you?

I made a copy of your day planner.
I can explain the code.

You don't understand.
I have to reach Bart.

As if you care about anyone
but yourself.

Nate, I made several bad choices
early on in life...

...but I wanted to escape that world
and start fresh.

The Spectator was my shot
at doing that.

And being here with you
was the happiest I've ever been.

I don't believe you.

You lied to me from the moment
we met in Los Angeles.

And you're lying to me now.

I never lied about my feelings to you.
I think, in your heart, you know that.

Nate, I can't go back to my old life.

And I stand no chance of starting
a new one...

...with my name in the headlines.

Must you keep me here to humiliate me
on top of all that?

I apologize for cutting this short
but I think we covered everything.

Um, thank you.
I'm sorry if we wasted your time.

Not your fault.
Lucia insisted we did this.

But I'm sure
you'll both have a nice time in Rome.

Just watch out for pickpockets.
[SPEAKS IN ITALIAN]

I'm sorry.
Are you saying that, uh, we got in?

Of course. This was just a formality.

And if I didn't have a deadline to meet
for my new novel...

...I would love to sit and chat more
with you guys.

You really do make a lovely couple.

A lot of energy, that one.

[SERENA CHUCKLES]

Hello.

I'm Eleanor Waldorf.

Oh, you have a lovely daughter.

I can see
where she gets her beauty from.

[CHUCKLES]

Thank you so much for coming by.
Don't forget that deadline, buddy.

-Serena, how are you?
-Hello. I am good, thank you.

Uh, where's Blair?

I haven't seen her yet. Excuse me.

So, what if we, like,
lay down on the bed?

-In a sexy pose?
LOLA: Yeah.

Or-- I don't know.

Maybe we can just, like,
stand here and look sexy.

[BOTH LAUGH]

When we were doing all of those
crazy exercises in acting class...

...who would've thought
we'd end up here?

Holding an imaginary orange
in our hands.

[BOTH CHUCKLE]

Oh.

[KNOCK ON DOOR ]

[BOTH GASP]

Oh, God, he's here.

Break a leg.

Whatever.

Are you Diana's girls?

Strip to your underwear
and get on the bed.

You don't understand.

We heard you like it rough.

What do you want
your safe word to be?

I'm not the client.

Chuck sent me.
You're in danger, and so is Bart.

Nevins got wise to your plan.

Chuck's on his way to see Bart.
We're supposed to regroup.

-He said that you would know the way.
-I do.

Good, because we really need to go.
Come on.

BLAIR:
Chuck.

Chuck.

I wish you would have told me you were
having your P.I. take the pictures.

-I told the girls you'd be doing it.
-I am. What are you talking about?

Andrew Tyler. I saw him get into
an elevator as I came down.

-You didn't send him?
-I didn't send Andrew anywhere.

Lola? Ivy?

Where could they have gone?

GOSSIP GIRL:
Uh-oh, Chuck.

You might need to have
your private investigator investigated.

[DAN SIGHS]

I'm a little confused. First, Blair says she's
out to get gelato.

Then you say she's with Eleanor.

Then Eleanor says
she hasn't seen Blair.

So where's Blair?

-She's with Chuck.
-I knew it.

I know it's hard, Dan,
but you have to trust her.

Trust her around Chuck
when I know she doesn't love me?

That's the real reason
she doesn't wanna come away with me.

Sorry. I should talk about this
to someone else.

No, I can handle it.

I told Blair I loved her
and she didn't say it back.

You know how many times
she's been burned by that word.

Chuck took a year to say it.
And Louis said it too soon.

I know how much she cares about you.

She may not have said it then
but she will.

That doesn't change
the fact that she lied to me.

This lie is different.

It's life or death.

Heh, I know you Upper East Siders
are partial to hyperbole--

Not this time.

-Bart Bass is alive.
-What?

Chuck? Bart? Hello?

This was the room he was in yesterday.
Maybe he changed.

-You stay here, we'll check.
-How about I come with you?

For protection.

Oh, wait. Here he comes.

TYLER:
What the--?

[TYLER GRUNTING]

Surprised to see me?

So you found out I was still alive.

Leave us.

You were the last person I saw
before the accident.

You got out of the car
right before it happened.

When Blair told me she saw you
at the hotel earlier, I started thinking.

It wasn't a competitor
that tried to k*ll him.

It was you.

You hired me to gather intel on Nevins
and I did.

A lot of it.

But he found out.
And he threatened me and my family.

It was either you or them so I turned.

Told him I'd work for him.

And to prove my loyalty,
I'd help get you out of the way.

I told him where you'd be, in the car,
and they told me when to get out.

[DOOR OPENS]

Did you get all that?

Every word.

Officers?

[SIGHS]

I guess now the police know the truth,
you'll be sticking around?

[CHUCK SIGHS]

GOSSIP GIRL: When you care about
someone, you want them to stay.

[KNOCK ON DOOR]

Come in.

Someone from The Times is here?

Yeah. Tell her Diana's already gone
and she took her dayplanner with her.

GOSSIP GIRL: But sometimes showing you
care means letting them go.

-Hi.
-Hey.

-How'd everything go?
-Pretty great, considering.

Bart Bass is alive and safe.

Chuck stayed there.
They're talking to the police.

And Ivy and Lola?

You would've been proud.
If you liked them.

Lola hadn't texted
where they were going...

...we might not have ever
beat them up there.

Hmm. Maybe I should give her
some more credit.

Well, thanks for covering for me
with Dan.

I called him on the way back.
He said we're going to Italy.

Well, that's great news. Isn't it?

Of course.

I hope they're not disappointed
with the real Blair when they meet her.

Oh, they never could be.

But you should know
you volunteered to teach English...

...at a local school while you're there.

Oh, well, I guess I can't spend
all my time shopping on the Via Condotti.

You can only stare up
at the Sistine Chapel for so long.

Thanks, S.

You really are my best friend.

Hmm, I love you, B.

I love you too.

Speaking of which...

...maybe it's time to tell Dan
how you feel about him?

He told you about that?

[SIGHS]

I'm not ready.

I really want the next person
I say it to to be the last.

You're packing to come home, right?

Right.

Now that we have Tyler's confession,
we can get Nevins.

Then I can show my face again.

I wanna thank you, son.

I didn't think
this was gonna be possible.

The way you took control,
got me out of this mess...

...makes me think
I did something right in raising you.

I think we both know
you didn't raise me.

You were too busy with all those
inappropriate transient women...

...to teach me any viable life lessons.

Except those about inappropriate
transient women.

I will have to lay low, hire security.

We can take care of it together,
like a family.

Speaking of which, what about Lily?

Have you thought about
how you wanna break the news to her?

I'm not sure.

My relationship with Lily
was on the rocks.

You and I were going through
a difficult time.

Maybe hiding all these years was easier
than facing things head on.

Well...

...how about we try group therapy
next time instead?

So how did Diana get away?
What did she do, go out the window?

Heh, I wouldn't put it past her.

But whatever happened,
I don't think we'll see her again.

-Well, good. Then I get your full attention.
-Yeah.

[PHONE BEEPING]

It's three months.

We can't spend the summer
living at Hotel de Russie.

Well, of course not.

We also have to stay
at the Portrait Suites...

...which is right above Ferragamo.

Of course, maybe more for me.

Do you really wanna spend
the entire summer with me in Rome?

Chuck's dad is alive.
That is gonna change his world.

His, yes, but not mine.

I understand why you did
what you did.

I need to know, for me, for us...

...what is really happening here?

There is nothing I want more...

...than to spend the summer
right by your side.

Where are you going?

I just realized that somebody should
break the news about Bart to my dad.

Then I will start researching
restaurants.

We have three months, that's 90 days,
which is 270 meals.

I may need to create a spreadsheet.

You want the chamomile tea before bed,
Miss Serena?

I just make for Miss Eleanor.

We catch up on all the gossip,
watch Toddlers & Tiaras.

Please, no more tiaras of any kind.

You have smile in eyes.

It so nice to see you away
from that computer.

The computer's gone.
I feel like I'm getting my life back.

And my friends back too. Feels good.

[PHONE BEEPS]

That's probably Blair now.

GOSSIP GIRL:
Evening, Upper East Siders.

Many of you have complained
I've been too kind to S and B...

...these last few months.

But all that's about to change.

Because I've got a page
from Blair Waldorf's diary...

...where she tells all
about who's really in her heart.

And there's lots more
where that came from...

...courtesy of her BFF, SVDW.

XOXO, Gossip Girl.