01x32 & 01x33 - Roughin' It/The Waiting Game

[bunniefuu]

- ♪ Crashing through
the crowded halls ♪

♪ Dodging girls
like ping pong balls ♪

♪ Just to reach
the bathroom on time ♪

♪ Leaping over laundry piles

♪ Diapers you can
smell for miles ♪

♪ Guy's gotta do
what he can to survive ♪

♪ In the Loud House,
in the Loud House ♪

♪ Duck, dodge,
push and shove ♪

♪ This is how
we show our love ♪

♪ In the Loud House,
in the Loud House ♪

♪ One boy and ten girls

♪ Wouldn't trade it
for the world ♪

♪ Loud! Loud! Loud!

♪ Loud House! ♪
- Boo boo.

- ♪

- [school bell ringing]

- [door opens]
- Oh, here they come.

These ladies are
definitely gonna ask us.

- Man, we're never
gonna get dates.

- Aw, I can't believe
we're going stag

to our first
Sadie Hawkins Dance.

- LINCOLN: Don't give
up hope, guys--

and come someone
pass the ketchup?

- Why are you guys
under the table?

- I'm hiding
from Ronnie Anne

so she can't ask
me to the dance.

- And I'm here
for moral support.

- Lincoln, I thought
you liked Ronnie Anne.

- I do, but there's a two-for-
one deal at the arcade tonight,

and there's no
way I'm missing it.

- [door opens]
- Yikes! Here she comes.

Remember,
I'm not down here.

- Hey, guys.
Have you seen Lincoln?

- Lincoln, uh...
- Uh...

- Nope.
- Never done heard of him.

- He's definitely
not under the table.

- [padding footsteps]

- [door thwacks]
- LINCOLN: Oh!

[whistling]

[gasps]

- So, did Ronnie Anne ask you
to the Sadie Hawkins Dance?

- Uh, yeah, yeah, um...
Uh...uh...

- I bet she was so excited.

The Sadie Hawkins
is literally

the most important dance
in a girl's life.

- Well, actually,
Ronnie Anne didn't even ask me.

- SISTERS: What?!

- Yeah, I waited
around all day.

But it just never happened.

- Poor big brother.
You must be devastated.

- Oh, you know, I'll get
through it--somehow.

What? I...I would have
told them the truth.

But, believe me,
they wouldn't have understood.

Sometimes a little
white lie

works out better
for everyone.

- [crickets chirping]

- Mom, I'm going to
the arcade with Clyde.

I'll see ya later.

- Hey, Lincoln,
you got a sec?

- Hey, I need to
talk to him, first.

- Dudes, urgent!
Mine is more important.

Guess what, bro?

I hit ya up with
a date for the dance.

- What?
- Hey, so did I.

- So did I.
- Me, too.

- W-W-Why?

- You were so bummed out when
Ronnie Anne didn't ask you.

I just wanted to
make you feel better.

- Me, too.
- So did I.

- Me, too.
- You guys...

I wasn't bummed out.

I didn't want her to ask me
because I wanted to

go to the arcade tonight.

- Then why didn't
you say so, ya yutz?

- 'Cause you made
me feel so guilty--

all that stuff about

"the most important dance
in a girl's life."

- Well, you're going to
the dance now, dude,

'cause my friend'll be wicked
bummed if you flake on her.

- Mine, too.
- Ditto.

- Yeah, 'cause no one
likes a flake.

[laughing]

But, seriously,
you're going.

- But, you guys, how am I
supposed to juggle four dates?

- That's not our
problem, dude.

- You dug your own
grave, Lincoln.

- Now you gotta lie in it.
- Lucky.

- [heavy sigh]

- [dance music playing]

- And here's your
raffle ticket.

- Oh, there's a raffle?
- Yep.

The winner gets to
have lunch with me

in the teachers' lounge.

- Good news, Lincoln--
I've checked the entire gym

and Ronnie Anne
is nowhere to be found.

- Oh, that's a relief.

I can't let Ronnie
Anne see me here

after I've avoided
her all day.

It'll really hurt
her feelings.

Besides, I have enough on
my hands juggling four dates.

- Don't worry, I've
got everything we need

to make the night
go smoothly--

binoculars, stopwatch,

dossiers on each of
the lovely ladies,

and, lastly, a hidden
microphone and receiver.

I'll be your eyes
in the sky.

Now, let's move out!

- Hey, guys,
did you get dates?

- Nah, we're just
here for the raffle.

I've always wanted to
see the teachers' lounge.

- CLYDE [through earpiece]:
Lincoln, I'm in position.

I forgot I'm afraid of heights,
but I'll be okay.

- LINCOLN: [through headphones]
You're a true pal, Clyde.

- Don't mention it.

Now, at your : o'clock,
you'll see a girl

with purple streaks
in her hair.

That's Luna's friend, Tabby.

She loves sweatin'
to the oldies,

turning it up to ,

and her ideal date is sound-
proofing a wall with egg crates.

- Hi, Tabby, I'm Lincoln.
- Good to meet ya!

Wanna jam?
- Oh, uh, okay.

- Rockin' that piano.
You got some chops.

- CLYDE: Sky Guy to the
Ladies' Man, your time is up.

Move on to girl # .

- Ooh, sorry, Tabby, my piano
elbow's acting up.

Gonna grab an ice pack.

- CLYDE: Okay,
at your : o'clock,

is Luan's friend from clown
school, Giggles.

A Virgo with
an infectious laugh,

Giggles' ideal date
is trying to figure out

how many people she can
cram into one car.

- Hey, Giggles, I'm Lincoln.
- Pleased to meet ya.

- [buzzer zapping]

- I heard a lotta
buzz about you.

[laughing]
- Good one.

You got something
on your shirt.

Boop!
- [laughing]

Touché!

- CLYDE: Wrap it up,
Ladies' Man.

Girl # is waiting.

Lucy's friend Haiku
is an up-and-coming poet.

Her dislikes include
kittens, sunlight,

and people who
smile too much.

- Hi, I'm Lincoln.
- Hi, Lincoln.

Wanna hear my poem?

"Empty. Lonely. Dark.

"The universe is weeping.

I have no tissues."

Okay, your turn.

- Uh, "Jack and Jill
went up a hill

to fetch a pail of water."

- Oh, yes, the futility
of teamwork.

Deep stuff.

- CLYDE: Time's up,
Ladies' Man.

Girl # is Lynn's roller derby
teammate, Polly Pain.

I think she's over by the--
- [heavy thud]

- I found her, Clyde.

- Nailed ya, bro.
In roller derby,

that's a move I like to
call "The Booty Block."

And this is the "Helicopter"!
- Whoa! Oh! Oh!

- [heavy thud]
- Wow!

You didn't even barf.
I'm impressed.

- Thanks.

- CLYDE: That's time,
Ladies' Man.

Get ready for round two.

- [dance music playing]

- So...high...up.

- [dance music continues]

♪

- [wheezy breathing]

- LINCOLN: Ahhh!
- [loud crash]

- [barfing]

- How ya feeling, Sky Guy?
- Better.

I think I'm ready
to go back up.

- No way, Clyde.
You've done enough.

Thanks to your help, I've got
everything under control.

- [dance music continues]

- Ah! Ronnie Anne!

Clyde, what am I gonna do?
Ronnie Anne is here.

- Well, you can't
stay under here.

You're already seconds late
for air harmonica with Tabby.

- I've got an idea.

Pssst! Guys!

- [head bonks]
Hey, what the heck, Lincoln?

- LINCOLN:
Get over here.

- You two sure like to hide
under tables, don't you?

- How would you guys like
someone to dance with?

- Sorry, Lincoln,
you're not my type.

- Not with me--with girls!

- ALL: Girls?!
- [gasping]

- On second thought, I think
I'd rather dance with you.

- Come on, guys, it's not
that big of a deal.

Pop a breath mint,
look 'em in the eye,

make sure your fly's up,
and you're golden.

- ALL:
[zipping flies]

- Clyde, I need
you to go, too.

- [zips fly]
- Thanks, guys. You're the best.

- [dance music continues]

- ALL:
[taking deep breath]

- LINCOLN:
Problem solved.

I'll just hide under here
until the dance is over.

- RUSTY: Whoa!
- [heavy crash]

- Dang it.

- Gee, that Polly
is quite a handful.

And I like it!

- [dance music continues]

- [butt thwacks]
- LINCOLN: Ahhh!

[sighs]

- [dance music continues]

- [gasps]

- [balls thudding]

- Whoa! Oh! Whoa! Whoa!

- [laughing]
Bravo!

Ever thought
about clowning?

- ♪

- [feet padding]

- Lincoln?

- [gasps]

- ♪

- [electronic voice]
All right, party people,

I wanna see you
on the dance floor.

- [dance music]
- Hot diggity dang!

Turn it on up to .
- I love turning it up to !

- [dance music continues]

- Haiku, I have
to be honest.

My heart belongs
to an older woman.

- That's okay, my heart
belongs to an older man.

He just turned .

- Unrequited love,
am I right?

- [scratching record]

- Hey, kid,
what are ya doing?

- [screams]

- Attention, everyone.

The lucky student who gets
to have lunch with me

in the teachers'
lounge is...

Lincoln Loud!
- STUDENTS: [applauding]

- Uh, Lincoln?
Oh, where are you?

- LINCOLN: [screams]

- Lincoln?
Where have you been, mate?

You left me standing
out there.

- You? He's here with me.

- Wrong.
He's here with me.

- Actually,
he's here with me.

- You guys, I'm sorry.
I can explain.

- Wait, let me go first.

I'm sorry to say
this, Lincoln,

but would you mind if I hung
out with somebody else

for the rest of the night?

I really hit it off
with that guy, Liam.

- Yeah, and I'm having
a really great time with Beck.

- Yes, and I enjoy Clyde.
We share the same pain.

- Same with me and Rusty--

though the pain
is mostly his.

- Sure, no problem.

I'm glad you're
all having fun.

How about that?

I guess tonight worked
out for everyone.

- Hey, Lincoln.
- [screams]

Well, except for me.

Guess it's time
to come clean.

Ronnie Anne,
I'm really sorry.

I know I hurt
your feelings.

I should have just let
you ask me to the dance.

- What are you talking about?

- Isn't that why you were
looking for me today?

- [laughing]
To ask you to a lame dance?

No. I wanted to invite
you to the arcade.

There's a two-for-one
deal tonight.

Since I couldn't find
you, I just came here.

- [smacks forehead]

- Wait. So, you knew
I was looking for you?

- Yeah, I was kinda
ducking you. Sorry.

- Not cool, Lincoln,
but, to be honest,

if I thought you were gonna
ask me to the dance tonight,

I would have
ducked you, too.

- So, we're cool?
- We're cool.

- We're gonna close out
Sadie Hawkins with a slow song,

and if you liked what
you heard tonight,

I'll be spinnin' at
the Finestein bar mitzvah

this Saturday--peace!

- [slow dance music]

♪

- [rollers clanking]

- ♪

- RUSTY: Whoa!
- [loud crash]

- Should we do this?

- I'm game if you are.

- FEMALE COMPUTER VOICE:
Dance Battle starts!

- LINCOLN:
Oh, watch this.

- RONNIE ANNE:
Oh, I'm much better.

- ♪

- LORI: Bobby,
Boo-Boo Bear!

- Hey, babe,
ready for an epic date?

- [gasps]
"A-truck-alypse Now."

This does not sound
like a romantic comedy.

- It's better--

an arena show where mutant
trucks crush each other!

- Yeah, I'm literally
not going to that.

Why don't you take Lincoln?

- LINCOLN & BOBBY: What?
What'll we even talk about?

- Come on, guys,
you'll have fun together.

I know it.

- LINCOLN & BOBBY:
Wahoo!

- That was an awesome
celebration

of senseless destruction.
- Right?

Bro handshake.

- I told you you guys
would hit it off.

- How do we end this?

- I have no idea.

- Boo-Boo Bear,
would you get my back, please?

- I can't right now, babe,
Lincoln just got here.

- LINCOLN:
Hey, Bobby!

- Lincoln?
- Yeah.

We had so much
fun yesterday

that I invited him
to hang with us.

Wooooo!

'Sup, bro?
- Hey, bro.

- Last one in the water
is a loser!

- Hey, guys,
sorry I'm late.

- Lincoln?
- No worries, bro.

We wouldn't start
without ya.

I challenge you to a duel,
Monsieur Lincoln.

- Oh, it is on,
Señor Roberto.

- [bread thwacking]

- [cell phone music]
- Boo-Boo Bear!

I haven't heard
from you all day.

You're where?
With Lincoln?

Stay right there.
I'm coming over.

[screams]
- [cell phone crashes]

- It was bad enough when they
treated me like a third wheel.

But now they're
hanging out without me?

I don't think so.
- [door slams]

- Oh, Edwin, I'm so glad
you're not like mortal men.

- LORI: Bobby,
this has got to--

- Hey, babe.
Look, I won you these.

Thanks for being so cool about
me hanging with Lincoln.

You know, all my life,

I've always wished
I had a brother,

and now I feel
like I've got one.

It's like Lincoln
completes me.

Sorry, what were
you gonna say?

- Uh...nothing.
I mean...

Go finish your game,
Boo-Boo Bear.

- Thanks, babe.

We're still on for the county
fair tomorrow, right?

- You bet. We're totes riding
the Tunnel of Love together.

- Sweet! Lincoln and I
will meet you there at : .

- What do I do? I'm sick of
Lincoln crashing our dates.

But it makes Bobby so happy.

He says Lincoln's like
the brother he never had.

- I know. Why don't
you hang out with

Bobby's little sister
Ronnie Anne.

She could be like
the sister you never had.

- You know, this happens
in my book.

Griselda thinks
she's losing Edwin,

so she makes him jealous,

and he totally
comes crawling back.

Well, flying, actually.

- Ooh, that's perfect.

But how do I make
Bobby jealous?

- [doorbell ringing]

- Hi, Lucy,
is Lincoln around?

- Clyde, am I glad
to see you.

- L-L-Lori?
[groans, thuds]

- Clyde, how would you like--
- L-L-L-Lori?

[groans, thuds]

- Clyde?
- L-L-L...Lucy?

- I come with
a message from--

the sister-who-
cannot-be-named.

Said sister would like
you to join her

at the county fair tomorrow.

- I would love to accompany
the lovely L-L...

unnamed sister
to the county fair.

- Yay!
- CLYDE: [groans]

- How are you going
to make Bobby jealous

with someone who's lifeless
and covered in blood?

Oh, wait, that's
exactly what Griselda did.

- [carnival music]

- Hey, it's my fair maiden.
[laughing]

Get it? Ready to have fun?
- Totes.

But, since three
is an odd number,

I invited someone
to join us--Clyde.

- That's cool.
I love the Clydesdale.

Hey, I'm gonna grab us
all some mini-donuts.

- Great, donuts for bros,
or as I like to call them--

bronuts.

- BOBBY: [giggling]
Bronuts.

- What are you up to?

- Whatever do you
mean, Lincoln?

- I mean this--
he's not even conscious.

Oh, wait a minute.
I get it.

You're trying to
make Bobby jealous

by dragging
poor Clyde around.

- No, I'm not.
- Well, it won't work.

- Yes, it will! I mean--
[groans]

I wouldn't have to do
anything if you'd stop

hogging my boyfriend
and give him back to me.

- He's not just
your boyfriend.

He's also the big brother
I've always wanted.

- Let me guess.
He completes you.

- What? I would
never say that.

My point is there's plenty
of Bobby for everyone

and you'd better
get used to sharing him.

- Check it. I got
chocolate for Lori,

powdered for Lincoln,
matches the hair, bro,

and sprinkles
for the Clydesdale.

Here you go, dude.

- [groans]

- He'll eat it later.

- Come on, bro, let's
hit the Whirly Gig.

- Right behind you, bro.

Babe, you coming with?
- Totes.

Clyde and I will
be right behind you.

[straining, groaning]
- [heavy thud]

- You know what?
We'll meet you there.

- This is gonna be awesome.

I tipped the guy to
make it go faster,

so we get super-dizzy.

- Oh, what's that Clyde?

You want me to ride
to make you dizzy?

[laughing]
I do that to you?

[laughing]
Oh, you're so sweet, Clyde.

- Babe?
- Oh, hey, Bobby, check it out.

Some left a perfectly
good corndog in here.

- Sweet! Splitsies?

- [ride bell rings]

- BOTH: [laughing,
screaming]

- [loud thudding]
- LORI: Oh!

- [milk bottles clatter]
- A winner!

- Heya, babe.

- Oh, Clyde, thanks for
winning this for me.

You have such a good arm.
Do you work out?

- What's going on here?
- Uh, hey, Bobby?

Look, Tic Tac Toe,
or as I like to call it--

Tic Tac Bro.

- A winner!

- For you.
- Whoa!

I've always wanted
a remote-controlled airplane.

- [buzzing airplane thuds]
- LORI: [gasps]

- BOBBY: Come on, bro!
- Later, sis.

- [buzzing airplane thuds]

- [bell clangs]
- MAN: A winner!

- LORI:
[sighing]

One cotton candy, please.

- [machine whirring]

- [Clyde's head thudding]

- Hey, babe, you never eat
cotton candy off my head.

- Here, Bobby,
I got us snow cones,

or as I like to call
them--bro cones.

- Sweet!

Let's see who can
get a brain freeze first.

- BOTH:
[gasping]

- Yeah!
- Wahoo!

- Ew...

- [water squirting]

- CLYDE: [thuds]
- LORI: Oh, Clyde...

[laughing]
Here, snuggle in closer.

Oh? Hi, guys.

- Wait, babe, are you snuggling
with the Clydesdale?

- Bobby, check it out--
cowboys on dinosaurs.

Wanna take a broto?
- Good call, my man.

- [sighing]

Hey, guys!

- Babe, the Tunnel
of Love is our ride.

- I know, but you were
off with Lincoln, so...

- Bobby, look at that
ride--the Toilet Bowl.

Or as I like to call it--
the Toilet Browl.

- No way! Let's go
get flushed, bro!

- Bobby, wait!

- Join hands, you lovebirds.
- [ride bell rings]

- LORI: [groans]
- What an adorable couple.

- Oh, shut it.

This stinks.

This was supposed to be
a romantic date with Bobby--

and now look where I am.

No offense, Clyde.

It's just I should be on
this ride with my boyfriend.

Maybe I don't even have
a boyfriend anymore.

Bobby doesn't seem to care
about being with me at all.

Clyde?

- CLYDE: [plunks]
- Clyde!

- [alarm blaring]
- Got him!

We are five for five
this week.

- BOBBY & LINCOLN:
Toilet Browl!

- That was awesome!
Up for number two?

- You read my mind, dude.
Be right back.

- I was talking about
the ride, but that's cool.

- [sobbing]

- Miss, your
boyfriend's okay.

He's in the medical
tent drying off.

- He's not my boyfriend.

I literally don't think
I have a boyfriend anymore!

[sobbing]
- All right, dude.

Ready to hit
the broller-coaster?

- Listen, Bobby,
we need to talk.

I don't think we should
hang out anymore.

- What? No! What
did I do wrong?

- It's not you.
You're awesome.

But we're not being
fair to Lori.

She misses you.

- [whimpering]
- Be strong.

We can still do bro
stuff once in a while.

But, for now,
maybe you should find Lori

and take her on
the Tunnel of Love.

- Good idea.

The way you look
out for others--

it's what makes you
such a great bro.

I can't right now.

- Thank you for riding
the Tunnel of Love.

Watch your step, lovebirds.

- Hey, Linc, Bobby
told me what you did.

Thank you.
- No problem.

I'm sorry I was
hogging him.

Besides, I was running
out of bro puns.

- Bobby was right.
You're literally a great bro.

- You'd better get back
to your boyfriend.

- But what are
you gonna do?

- Don't worry about me.

Now that I think about it,
I've already got a bro--Clyde.

Where is he anyway?

- MAN ANNOUNCING: Would
the parents of a soggy boy

with cotton candy in his nose
please come to the medical tent.

- There's my answer.

Clyde, I hope you
didn't feel left out

while I was hanging
with Bobby.

- Are you kidding? I got
to have a date with Lori.

I just wish I could remember it.
- [knock at door]

- Hey, is Lori here?
- Yeah, come on in.

So, are we cool?
- Totally, dude.

- I appreciate you
being so mature--

especially after
the very romantic date

I'm told I just had
with your lady.

- ALL: Broshake!

- Clyde?
- ALL: [gasping]

- The sister-who-
cannot-be-named

would like to thank you

for hanging out with
her at the fair.

Further, she would like
you to have this gift

as a remembrance of
your time together.

- For me? L-L-Lori?

[thuds, groans]

- That's my bro.
- OTHERS: [laughing]

- ♪ Cramped inside
this tiny space ♪

♪ May sound bad,
but ain't the case ♪

♪ In the Loud House

♪ Loud House

♪ Duck and dodge

♪ And push and shove

♪ That's the way
we show our love ♪

♪ In the Loud House,
Loud House ♪

♪ Laundry piles
stacked up high ♪

♪ Hand-me-downs
that make me cry ♪

♪ Stand in line
to take a pee ♪

♪ Never any privacy

♪ Chaos with kids

♪ That's the way
it always is ♪

♪ In the Loud House ♪