-Notice the sweet second hand.
-Oh, Henry.
It's a beautiful watch.
I don't blame you for buying it.
-It's really great.
It's got everything.
-Let's see.
-Shatterproof crystal,
waterproof, dustproof,
antimagnetic.
It's practically indestructible.
-Hey, dad.
Guess what?
I hardly pulled at all,
and the winder came out.
[theme music]
-I know he was out back, Martha.
I heard him.
-Oh, don't fret about him.
Maybe his mother's
called him to lunch.
-Well, if I'm going to have the
nursery reseed the backyard,
I'll have to mark off the area.
-Would you feed Fremont
for me while you're there?
-Oh.
Well-- oh, Martha.
-Here, Fremont.
[whistles]
-There you are, boy.
Yeah.
-Is it lunchtime, Mr. Wilson?
-Not for you.
What are you doing in there?
-We got a secret club.
You wanna join?
-No, I don't.
-OK.
-Well, how many
kids are in there?
-There's one more.
-I-- I can't believe it.
-Well, Margaret's in there, too.
But she can't vote.
-I'm the Ladies Auxiliary.
-I-- well, I-- I think I just
heard all your mothers calling
you.
Good-bye.
-Good-bye, Mr. Wilson.
-Bye, Mr. Wilson.
-Good-bye.
-Whatcha doing, mom?
-I just finished
sweeping off the patio.
-Is lunch ready yet?
-In a few minutes.
I'll call you.
-OK.
I guess you just thought you
heard my mom, Mr. Wilson.
-Yeah.
I'm a dreamer.
Ah, Dennis, why don't you go
over to your house and play?
-Because my dad's
cleaning out the attic,
and he doesn't want
me getting in the way.
-This is my third load, honey.
It's a lucky thing I
decided to clean it out.
Oh.
Look at this firecracker.
[gasps]
-What on Earth is that
doing in the house?
-It's just some junk left
over from the fireworks
at the company picnic.
-Oh.
Well, get rid of that,
for goodness sake.
-I'm going to put in the
trash can in the alley.
Can you imagine that
in Dennis's hands?
-I certainly could.
With a firecracker
that size, he could
destroy half the neighborhood.
-Right.
Besides, he doesn't need it.
He can destroy the neighborhood
with his bare hands.
-What are you doing, Mr. Wilson?
-I'm tying the string
around the peg.
-Why are you doing
that, Mr. Wilson?
Do you want to see if you can
pull the peg out with a string?
-Ah, no.
No.
No.
I-- I-- no.
I-- I-- no.
No.
-Well, then what
are you doing, then?
-Oh, I'm not going to tell you.
-But if you don't tell
me, how can I help ya?
-You can't.
That's the point.
Ah-- oh, here.
Go play with Fremont.
Here's an extra peg.
Have him chase it.
-OK.
Here, Fremont!
[barking]
[whimpers]
-Look at Fremont, Mr. Wilson.
[whimpers]
-Lookit, Mr. Wilson.
Fremont's got the wrong peg.
I didn't even throw mine.
-Dennis, you're a jinx.
And I've had enough of it.
And I don't want
you to come back.
Understand?
-Don't you want me
to help you at all?
-You are helping me, Dennis.
You're helping me
right this minute.
-Gee.
I am?
How am I doing that?
-By going away and
leaving me alone.
-MRS. MITCHELL:
(OFFSCREEN): Dennis!
Time for lunch!
-Now she calls.
-Want to come over and have a
peanut butter and mayonnaise
and banana sandwich with
some chocolate milk?
-No.
I don't, Dennis.
Now go home.
-OK, Mr. Wilson.
I'll see you right after lunch.
-Mr. Wilson, I heard what you
said to that little child.
And you should be ashamed.
-A-- a-- ashamed?
But, Mrs. Elkins, I'm
fighting for my life.
-Why, Dennis is just
full of life and spirit.
He's a sweet,
lovable little boy.
-He is not.
He's a supersonic m*ssile,
and he's aimed right at me.
-Oh, serioiusly.
It isn't any wonder
everyone calls you
the neighborhood grouch.
-Grouch?
Mrs. Elkins, don't you
have someplace to go?
-Yes.
I was coming to see you.
-Oh?
What do you want?
-I want to know
how much you'd like
to contribute towards
the playground
for the little children.
-You'll get exactly
what you'd expect
from a grouch, not one penny.
-You're not only a grouch.
You're a scrooge.
-Feel better, dear?
-Ohhh, a little.
Thank you, Martha.
Neighborhood grouch, scrooge.
-Oh, forget it.
It's not true.
You're just nervous.
-They hate me.
The whole neighborhood hates me.
You know what I'd like
to do tomorrow, Martha?
Get away.
Take a nice drive
in the country.
-Well, if that's what you'd
like to do, we'll do it.
But what about the
work on the lawn?
-Well, the nursery
can do it tomorrow.
I don't have to
be home for that.
Hello.
This is George Wilson.
You remember that reseeding
job I talked to you about?
Well, could you do it tomorrow?
Yes.
The backyard's all staked out.
Uh-huh.
Well, fine.
No.
I won't be here, but you
can come right in the back.
The address is Elm Street.
That's right.
- - Elm Street.
Good.
Thank you.
[crash]
-Hey, look.
You see what happened
there, Tommy?
That car that just knocked
down that signpost.
Kapow!
-Yeah.
Kapow!
-With a knocked-down
signpost, the ice cream man
could get lost.
-Yeah.
-We better go put it up again.
-Push, Tommy.
-It's heavy.
-It helps if you grunt.
[grunt]
-That's it.
Now, I'll hold it
while you stamp.
And that'll keep it in place,
and nobody'll get lost.
-Say, let's go over
to the Pickerings'.
I heard they're
giving away kittens.
-I'll give you a receipt.
What's the address
here, Mrs. Piedmont?
- Mississippi.
- Mississippi.
Ah, it's so generous of you
to donate, Mrs. Piedmont,
especially since
your own children
don't have any need
for the playground.
-I guess they will stick
pretty close to home
once we get the pool in.
-When will that be?
-Well, they're supposed to start
digging sometime this week.
-Lovely.
-I think a pool will
be a mixed blessing.
It's surprising to find out
how many new friends you
have once the word gets out.
-I know what you mean.
I have a color television set.
-Well, come on, Martha.
Let's hit that open road.
-Don't forget to put the sign
up for the seed man, George.
-Oh, yes.
I almost did forget,
didn't I. Ha.
I guess I'm so anxious
to get away from Dennis.
You know how he
hangs around when
anything important's going on.
-Well, forget about him.
We're going to have a nice,
peaceful day in the country.
-Yes.
Ahh, I can hardly wait.
-DENNIS (OFFSCREEN):
Hello, Mr. Wilson!
Hello, Mrs. Wilson.
-Hello, Dennis.
Tommy.
-Hello.
-Where you going, Mr. Wilson?
-None of your--
-George.
We're going for a drive
in the country, Dennis.
-Oh!
I notice you got a
picnic basket with ya.
-Yes.
That's right.
Just keep your hands
off it, Dennis.
-You want me and
Tommy to go with ya?
-Over my dead--
-George.
Use a little diplomacy.
-Ah.
I guess you're right, Martha.
Well, I'd like to have
you come with us, Dennis.
But there's an important
job for you to do here.
-Really?
Spies or something?
Spies or something?
-Oh, no.
No.
Some men are coming
by in a truck
to do some work in my backyard.
Now, when they
get here, will you
tell them to go right to work?
-Sure.
-That's better, George.
Well.
[laughs]
-Will you do that for your
old friend and neighbor?
Hmmm?
-Sure, I will, Mr. Wilson.
And if they're gonna build
something, I'll help them.
-No!
No.
No.
No.
Just tell them to go to work.
That's all.
-Wave, Tommy, or
you'll think we're mad.
-Well, there we are, Bob.
Mississippi Street.
must be down the block.
-I think this is them, Tommy.
-Yeah!
-You see?
They're looking
at house numbers.
Hello there!
Here it is!
This is the place.
He wants you to go right
to work in the backyard.
-While I park the rig, you go
up and let him know we're here.
-They're not home,
but they do want
me to tell you to
go right to work.
They left a note on the door.
-I'll go up and
see what it said.
-The backyard's the place.
-OK, kid.
Wait till he reads the note.
-Do you want me to
help you steer it in?
-Oh, I think I can
manage it along.
-Do you think maybe I
ought to get up there
in the car with you
while you steer it in?
-No.
I don't think so.
-This is it, all right.
Listen.
I'll be away for the day.
The yard is all staked out.
You can go right in.
-OK.
Let's get the dozer off.
-What are we gonna do?
-I don't know about
you, kid, but we're
going to put in a swimming pool.
-A swimming pool!
-Wow!
-I sure am glad you came
and told me, Dennis.
I simply wouldn't
have believed it.
-Oh, I've been telling
everybody in the neighborhood.
Good ole Mr. Wilson's
going to have
a swimming pool, all right.
-Indeed, he is.
Hmm.
Wonder if the moths
got to my swimsuit.
Well, I gotta go make
some phone calls.
-Bye, Mrs. Purcell.
-Bye, Dennis.
-Hey, you want me to
drive for a while?
-No thanks.
-I'll do it for free.
-No thanks.
-I'll give you my harmonica
if you let me try.
-I'm sorry, Dennis.
And please stop asking.
You've been pestering
me all afternoon.
-But I've wanted to drive
a bulldozer all my life.
-I'm sorry.
Look, I'd like to
accommodate you, Dennis.
But you're not old enough,
and you don't know how.
-But how can I learn if
nobody gives me a chance?
I'll be an old man
with a real mustache,
and I still won't know how.
-Sorry.
No.
-By that time, every other
kid in the neighborhood
will be able to drive one.
But I won't.
-No.
-Even Margaret will
be able to drive one.
-I will not.
I don't want to.
-Why not?
-Because I'd rather be a mother.
-For gosh sakes, you're
too short to be a mother.
-This is about the best
hole we ever dug, Tommy.
-I'm tired.
-Well, we better go
clean up for dinner.
-Well.
It was a nice day, George.
-Ah, it was fine.
Perfect.
But I kind of hate
to get back to where
I'm considered the
neighborhood grouch.
-Haven't you forgotten
about that yet?
-No, I haven't.
You know, Martha, the
people in this neighborhood
have suddenly become
very distasteful to me.
-Oh, nonsense.
Go look at your seeding job.
-No.
I'm much too tired.
I'll look at it in the morning.
-If it isn't two of my
favorite people, the Wilsons.
-Mrs. Holland, good evening.
-Good evening.
-And how are you, Mr. Wilson?
-Oh, I'm a little tired.
-I understand you've been
having some work done
in your backyard.
-Yes.
That's right.
-That's what I heard.
You know, we really haven't been
seeing enough of each other.
Why don't you come
to brunch Sunday?
-Why, we'd love to.
-Fine.
o'clock?
Thank you.
-Good night.
-Good night, Mrs. Holland.
-You see, George.
Mrs. Holland doesn't
think you're a grouch.
-Well, she just asked
me because of you.
[telephone ringing]
-George, the
telephone's ringing.
-I'll get it.
I'll get it.
[telephone ringing]
-All right.
All right.
All right.
All right.
Hello?
Well, Mr. Taylor.
Oh, well, yes.
I play, if you can call it that.
I-- (LAUGHINGLY)
I'm just a duffer.
Oh, well, I couldn't Sunday.
I'm going to a brunch, you know.
Saturday?
Oh, yes.
Saturday will be wonderful.
Oh, good.
I'll see you at o'clock.
Good night.
-Who was that?
-Why, that was Frank Taylor.
He wants me to join him
in a foursome for golf.
-Oh, how nice.
You've been wanting to get to
know Mr. Taylor and his friends
better for a long time.
-Well, now, I guess there are a
few people in this neighborhood
who don't think I'm a grouch.
-Of course.
[doorbell]
-Who can that be?
-I don't know.
-Why, Mrs. Purcell.
-Good evening, Mr. Wilson.
-Good evening.
-Mrs. Wilson.
-Won't you come in?
-Thank you.
My, don't you have
a lovely home.
[laughs]
-Well, we like it.
-I brought you these
homemade French preserves.
I thought you might like it
for your breakfast toast.
-Well, thank you, Mrs. Purcell.
It was very kind of
you to think of us.
-Thank you.
-Well, it was in the way of
being an apology for that time
I called you an old goat.
-An old goat?
-The time we bumped
fenders in the parking lot
at the supermarket.
-Ohh.
Ohh.
Forget it.
-Oh, no.
I won't.
That accident was
all my fault, and I
want us to be close friends.
-Well, now.
-My husband feels
exactly the same way.
-Well, that's very--
-He would've come over
with me, but he found out
the stores were
open late tonight.
So he went down to get
some bathing trunks.
[telephone ringing]
-Well, we'll all have to
get together sometime.
-Yes.
[telephone ringing]
-One of these hot
summer afternoons.
-Just a minute.
It's for you, George.
-Oh, excuse me, Mrs. Purcell.
Hello?
Well, yes, Mr. Quigley.
Bowling?
Why, I'd like that very much.
Ohh.
[laughs]
-I don't think my
control's that good.
Really, Mr. Quigley?
Well, I'll be glad to
give you a few pointers.
Turn professional?
Oh-ho.
No.
No.
No.
It's just a hobby with me.
Really, Mr. Quigley?
Oh, thank you.
Yes.
Yes.
I'll see you at the alley.
Good-bye.
Well, now, there's one of
the nicest fellows that
ever walked into
a bowling alley.
-Hey, Dennis!
Dennis!
Look here.
Look at what I found.
-Wow!
That's the biggest
firecracker I ever saw.
Where'd ya find it?
-In the alley.
-Wow.
You better give that to
me, because firecrackers
are dangerous.
I'll take it over to my
house and throw it away.
[grunts]
-Oh, Great Scott.
Martha.
Martha.
-Hmm?
-We've overslept.
It's almost : .
-It is?
-Yep.
-My goodness.
-Oh, it's a wonderful,
wonderful day.
-Well, you are in a
good mood this morning.
-Well, how could I be otherwise?
I live in a wonderful
neighborhood,
and I'm surrounded
by my friends.
-Of course you are.
I've always told you that.
-But there's so many of them.
Why, everybody loves me.
Do you realize we had visitors
and phone calls all last night?
-We certainly did.
-Do you know this
morning I even see
little Dennis in a
different perspective.
-You see, Tommy, firecrackers
are for big kids and grown-ups.
-Why?
-Because after they
light them, they
can run away faster than we can.
Hi, mom.
-Oh, hello boys.
-Hello, Mrs. Mitchell.
Let's go over to Eric's.
We could help him
take his piano lesson.
Oh.
Oh, hi, dad.
-Hi, son.
Hi, Tommy.
-Hi.
-Have a good day at
the office, dear.
-Thank you, sweetie.
You, too.
-Oh, Henry.
Would you take this
out to the incinerator?
-I'd take that to the
end of the Earth for you.
-You know, Martha, from now on
I'm going to be a changed man.
I'm not going to let the little
things get under my skin.
-Good for you.
-Now, you take Dennis.
There's a nice
clean-cut youngster,
and I've been treating him like
he was some kind of a fiend.
-He's a sweet little boy,
and he's very fond of you.
-You know, I'm very fond
of him deep down inside.
And from now I'm
going to show it.
[laughs]
-Martha, why don't
you make some cookies
so we'll have some
when he comes over.
[expl*si*n]
-Great Scott, what was that?
-It sounded like a b*mb.
-A b*mb?
-Martha, it's a b*mb crater!
Martha!
-George, what are
we going to do?
-I must do my duty.
This is w*r.
You get under the bed.
-I'm going with you.
-No.
You stay under the bed.
-George, be careful.
-Careful?
When my country's
being att*cked?
Air raid!
Air raid!
Air raid!
To the shelters!
Air raid!
Hey--ahh!
Air raid!
To your shelters, everybody!
To the shelters!
-What's going on?
Oh, Great Scott.
Our first casualty.
I'll telephone the
medic as soon as I've
altered the others, Henry.
Air raid!
Air raid!
-What are you talking about?
-Take cover, Mrs. Elkins.
We're being bombed.
-I knew it would finally happen.
Your mind has snapped.
-No.
There's a b*mb crater
in my backyard.
-b*mb crater?
That's the hole for
your swimming pool.
-What are you talking about?
I don't have a swimming pool.
-Sure you have, Mr. Wilson.
And I helped dig it.
-What?
Ohh.
-Hey, Mr. Wilson, what
are you doing out here
in your sleepers?
-Martha!
Martha!
-Very well, Mr. Wilson.
We'll fill the hole
in a couple days.
-What's the matter with today?
-Well, be reasonable,
Mr. Wilson.
We have only one bulldozer
crew and one cement crew,
and they're booked way ahead.
-Well, where's that
bulldozer today?
-Doing the job it
should have done
what it dug that hole of yours.
-All right.
I'll tell you what I'll do.
Now, your man destroyed
one of the finest lawns
in this neighborhood, but--
-George.
-Now, you just hush, Martha.
-One of the finest lawns
in this neighborhood.
So I'll settle if the hole
is filled in a couple of days
if you put in new
topsoil and pay
for a complete reseeding job.
-Mr. Wilson.
-Otherwise, Mr. Banner, I'll
be forced to call my attorney.
-All right, Mr. Wilson.
We'll do it.
We'll do it.
-Ah.
Thank you, Mr. Banner.
Thank you very much indeed.
Good afternoon, Mr. Banner.
-Good-bye, Mrs. Wilson.
[laughs]
-That, Martha, is known
as pulling the fat out
of the fire.
-George, you ought
to be ashamed.
-Well, I saved us almost
a hundred dollars.
And you know what I'm going
to do with that money, Martha?
I'm going to take you up to Lake
Bailey for a couple of days.
Ah, besides, I'd like to
get away for a little while.
-Now, George, the neighbors
aren't laughing at you.
-Oh, yes, they are.
They're calling me
Air Raid Wilson.
No, sir, Martha.
We're leaving first
thing in the morning.
-It was a silly mistake.
Some kid turned the
sign around, but that's
been straightened out.
The excavation on
Mississippi Street
has been completed and ready
for you to pour the cement.
-But what about that
street sign now?
I don't want to end
up pouring cement
at a hole at the wrong house.
-You don't have to
worry about that.
That sign's OK.
I went out and turned the
sign around right myself.
Where it says Mississippi,
that's Mississippi.
You pour the cement,
and you'll be all right.
-I didn't think he'd still
be mad about the sign,
but he sure is.
-How do you know?
-Because this morning
he told me so.
Then he climbed in the
car with Mrs. Wilson
and drove to Lake Bailey.
-I'll miss him.
-Me, too.
-You know what we ought to
do for good ole Mr. Wilson?
We ought to turn
it the right way
and not wait for
the city to fix it.
-There it is,
Mississippi Street.
01x02 - Dennis and the Signpost
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Follows the Mitchell family – Henry, Alice, and their only child, Dennis, an energetic, trouble-prone, mischievous, but well-meaning boy, who often tangles first with his peace-and-quiet-loving neighbor, George Wilson, a retired salesman, and later with George's brother John, a writer.
Follows the Mitchell family – Henry, Alice, and their only child, Dennis, an energetic, trouble-prone, mischievous, but well-meaning boy, who often tangles first with his peace-and-quiet-loving neighbor, George Wilson, a retired salesman, and later with George's brother John, a writer.