Where does our love lie?
In the middle of nowhere.
Will it soon pass me by?
In the middle of nowhere.
Baby won't you tell me
what am I to do?
I'm in the middle of nowhere
getting nowhere with you.
When I just looked across and I realised,
sh*t she is married to him.
Oh god, now we're joking.
So embarrassing.
That does kind of bring around
to what I'm was gonna say, ehm..
I know we only been going out for a
couple of months..
But.. yeah?
I really think.. no I know..
Go on.
I love you.
I mean, I hope that you think that's
to bored or to..
No! no....
That's great.
It's great, I love you to.
Really?
Yeah.
Well, in that case, ehm..
How would you feel about, sort of
marrying me
Oh god, Alex, of course I would.
Yes!
Can't believe that this is happening
it's fantastic.
Are you sure you can handle spending
the rest of your life with me.
Yeah, I just want to be with you
every day, it's all I've ever dreamed of.
and every night.
and every single second of every
minute of every hour.
well, apart from when I'm at work
Uhmmm, well f*ck it then...
Well, it's not been for one of these
before my friend Marina came.
Shhh.. Put your head on the cushion.
Okay...
Hmmm..
Well, it's...
That's a bit painfull, actually there..
So, that's what you think?
Au...
That feels extreme..
Au!
Au! You know that really hurt
that hurt before
Do you see, how bad the
tomatas are for you?
What?
That hurts a lot.
Shhh...
Please stop, please let go.
Get of me!
Aahh!
Au!
That hurt!
Right, can you not get any closer
to the edge here it's quit a drop
this is the famous, poets leap
so called because,
famous Pennine poet William Drury
lept his death here after been spurred
by the famous authoresse Emily Barrowed
who ehm.. hingstingly enough was
quite a plain woman
hihihi, eeh, whaaaaa
This is a very difficult time
for me and all my family.
Billy has now been missing for..
three days..
Three whole days..
Ehm. we still don't know where he is.
So, I'm bogging anyone..
is that bogging or begging?
I'm begging anyone out there
who might have caught sights of..
Is that supposed to be belly??
Billy.
Even if it doesn't seem important
it is to us, so please just phone in
Don't just say think wherever was
the last time you seen him
because, well we've tried that
it didn't work.
Since when?
Well, I..
Oh, my god!
They don't go with the...
Oh my god.. I've just remembered.
He is with the Scouts.
He is camping.
I'm sorry, he is not camping everybody...
I'm sorry...
I like to go out with blokes who have
ehmm really long hairy fat...
tattood arms, that drag along the floor.
Ehm...
Most of the blokes that I have been with
pardon my french..
they just had ordinary length arms
with no embelishment
did I say arms?
No I meant penises or peni.
Ehm.. I'm looking for a guy
who thinks like I do.
You know, like do we really need food
or is it just a habit.
You know when you are at the beach
and you pick up a shell
you can hear the sea?
Well, if you pick up your shoe
you think you can hear your footsteps?
Oh, well if you think like I do
Then...
Then...
No I can’t forget tomorrow
When I think of all my sorrows
When I had you there but then I let you go
And now it’s only fair that I should let you know
What you should know
I cant live
If living is without you
I can’t live
I can’t give anymore
Can’t live
If living is without you
can’t live,
I can’t take anymore
Well, I can’t forget this evening
Or your face as you were leaving
But I guess that’s just the way this story goes,
You always smile
But in you eyes your sorrow shows
Yes it shows
can’t live
If living is without you
I can’t live
I can’t give anymore
can’t live
If living is without you
I can’t live,
I can’t take it anymore
Aaaahhhh!!!
Papercut.
Oh yes, the youngsters,
A quite challenging free program.
And you can hear just what the
crowd her in Prague
made of that.
So, the combination of many
months of hard work
for Irena en Alexei
and anything better then five sevens
and five eights
should put them into the lead
and these are the marks for technical merit
and they are very, very good
oh, and there is a six,
a six from the swiss judge
the rest are 5.9 and 5.8
and their coach and mentor
Maria Koriakove
Should be very, very happy her own.
and feel the tension around this arena
and we await the marks
for artistic impression,
we're building up for a
terrific cl*max
this evening.
and here are the second set of marks
there are on, two, three sixes
the rest are 5.9's
That will do, that will do.
You know I don't now what to do
cause he is so horrible.
It's been like you know, two days
and I'm not supposed to like,
bring him, you know. I'll wait,
shall I wait him to bring me
I don't really know what to do..
but that it is, this time I'm not just staying
as he want me to look forward.
you know... this thing being
hardboiled..
bad tempered and really
sort of ehm...
question of luxury
I'm not really sure..
I don't know what to do
cause he..
I don't know.. really
I don't know, what do you..
sorry, now, don't we, should we?
he's to old for you
and he's ehm..
and he's short.
has that left a mark?
no... you're fine.
drink your own, excuse me..
seven, six, five, four, three
two and, one,
clear... lower left eight
seven, six, five,
four.... ueeewwuh..
could I have a fresh probe, please?
thank you..
three... yes you have got a cavity there
so I´ll deal with that later
ghl. ueeewwuh...
had a physio check earlier..
Shouldn't really ... of course
and two, and one, clear
ueeeewwuh...
it's not a ... fresh
fresher maybe..
would you hold that..
okay... and upright, eight and...
ueeewwuh, mph excuse me
excuse her, she's in the middle of a curry
well, we both are.
meat biryani, is a bit disgusting.
hehemm...
euuehwwuhh.
ooh....
I am faul.
uuweh, excuse me
Sarah actually I've got one trapped
could you just ehmm...
give you bit of a pump?
heah..
heeeh....
excuse me..
be all gone..
nohh...
Hello, I'm Margaret I'm 46
and I have never c*m.
I did c*m a couple of years ago,
but my friends say that I'm not sure
I probably didn't
eh, I was just wondering ehm..
Is this it?
huhm huuuhhhhhhmmmm...
Or.. is this it?
auw.. auauwwwhh..
aauwwhh.. auuwwwh..
ooh... or, or is this it?
pffww, fffww, pffww, fffww,
pffww, fffww, pffww, fffww,
Or.. or is this it?
hoh, hoh, hoh, hoh, hoh, hoh...
does not, not too sure..
oh, I was nearly Miss Ireland, but I
lost out because
my left hand is massive
men seem to like it and...
I keep it behind my back
most of the time
Are you allright, madame?
Yeah..
I've got to ehmm...
Got to fill one of these in.
At some stage.. right.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Can I have your work tool?
Ehm, well it's basically 72 Road
You know and ehm...
I´ve done it a million times, I could have
done it with my eyes shut to be honest.
no I didn´t
Okay, so that´s the usual route?
No actually thats ehm a different system
towards the ferry end
right, wel eh.. I did a left until Axxon Road
then I went straight on I did a second left
to make avenue, straight on, left
left into Cress Row, left again,
into River Street
and then I have been looking down
and thinking that one is bigger then the other one
and I´d gonna be like lopsided
for the rest of my life
and I just...Just.......
what could that be in words?
I think I overtook a right...
one turn right got straight into the river....
yeah.. well I know that now
didn´t I?
Okay so I´m, I´m still confused.. to this
Cause, of incident question..
Probably because I was
going to many lefts
You got that?
Simply not no....
What about I swore, to
have avoid a bunny?
Like nine?
Yeah...
Are you gonna turn 'm on?
Not personally no, but she may
find that on
Ooh that a big herron!
She just legged, didn't she?
In an uncertain world..
In uncertain times...
They will prosper.
They will triomph.
They'll always be loved...
They'll never be out of work.
They are people who look Irish.
Hi look, I'm a little bit in a
hurry, ehmm...
I bought this camera, the other day,
I've had it two days, or something,
and it's just completely pracked in
all right, you've not dropped it
or stood on it or...
well, I think that I'd know if I
dropped it or I stood on it or something..
you now and I'm really, really
not happy about it..
maybe one of the kids started messing up...
I haven't got any children
hihihihi.. I haven't got any children..
I.. d ehmmm....
I haven't got any children..
I you want to know it..
I haven't got any bloody children.
Could just been the battery..
Hello.
My name is Alice.
Aaaahhhh!!
Hello...
My name.. is...
Bwuhaliceehh...
I'm just a simple girl
ordinary, I've got
funny way to have it , I got
always seems you'll have
and those little things I do
are most cause like to do
I'm just a simple girl, so
ordinary and you
you know, when you met me
and that's really fun by you
but there's something else to say
there are times when I'm a horse
oooooo, then I go nenenenene
it's okay, that's there to send me them
something strong by lord
oooooo, they come to dress I drive or die
nothing else can turn me on
it's the thing I like the most
I'm just a simple girl
I done it , done it, I just
need to creep quite near the stable
I surprise okay, it's not very
much to ask
to have a sugar love
of course I´m in
cloud shanshanashan
oooooo, then I do just now driving by
but you now you musn´t prack your thing
use excessive force
oooo, if you did your close in I defy
don´t you drive to make me cancel
It´s not, I´m not that kind of horse
brphhhh.....
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01x01 - Episode 1
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Among the show's regular themes were unsuccessful relationships, competition in the workplace, and latent lesbianism, but sketches would also dip into the surreal.
Among the show's regular themes were unsuccessful relationships, competition in the workplace, and latent lesbianism, but sketches would also dip into the surreal.