01x15 - A Ninjustice to Harold

[bunniefuu]

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(Gong sounds)

Toy: Harold, recite the three rules of the ninja.

- Yes, master.

Rule number one...

a ninja must always protect others from danger.

(Phone rings) - Hello this is--

- Hii-ya! That could be a crank call!

- Aghh!

Toy: Harold, what is the second rule of the ninja?

- Rule number two is...

a ninja must serve his fellow man.

- Aw, mum forgot to cut my sandwich today.

- I'll cut your ham sandwich!

Kyaa! - Ewwww...

- Mmm... Mustard and watermelon,

not bad!

- You're welcome.

(Eating sounds)

Toy: what is the third rule of the ninja?

- The third rule of the ninja is...

A ninja must accept all dangerous missions.

Chef: Snack is ready!

- I am needed!

- Who wants to deliver these pudding cups

to the kids outside? - I accept this mission.

- Anyone? - I will.

- Anybody? - Chef! Chef-chef!

- Anyone at all? - Over here. Chef!

- (Sighs) Okay, Harold

but promise me you'll just carry this like a normal kid,

no ninja nonsense.

- I will not fail you on this dangerous mission.

- You're still doing it.

Doing the ninja thing. Gotta stop.

- You have my word. - Good.

Now go hand out the snacks.

(Playful laughter)

♪♪♪

(Gong sounds)

- Great, he has the gong again.

- Attention I, your class ninja,

have travelled many feet

to bring you today's snack.

- What's the snack? What's the snack?

What's the snaaaaaack?

- The cups of the pudding!

(Gong sounds)

- (Upset groan)

- Can we, um... have them?

- At the sound of the gong, snack time begins.

(Gong sounds) Ah!

Oh no!

All: (Gasp) - (Slo-mo) Nooooo!

- Would any of you like more tea?

Owen: Our pudding cups!

- I'll save them!

♪♪♪

- Mmmm.

- Awesome moves, Beth!

You're like some kind of ninja!

- (Shocked gasp) Beth can't be a ninja.

I'm the class ninja.

- (Gasp) We should call you ninja Beth!

All: Yay, ninja Beth!

Hip hip hooray!

Hip hip hooray!

- Okay. Wait. Wait. Wait. I'm the ninja.

I'm ninja Harold!

- Hm, that kind of steps on ninja Beth's nickname though.

- Yeah? Well, if I'm not a ninja

then why would I have this "ninja master" ribbon?

- Because they come free

in every box of Snazzy Crunch cereal?

Pretty sure we all have one.

- Yeah! Check it out!

- Got mine right here - I've got three!

♪♪♪

- (Sad sigh)

(All chanting) Ninja Beth! Ninja Beth! Ninja Beth!

- Maybe they're right.

I couldn't even finish my mission.

All my life I... I've wanted to be a ninja.

If I'm not a ninja, then what am I?

Who am I?

(Echo) Who am I? Who am I? Who am I?

(Wind gusts)

(Sad music)

♪♪♪

(Wind gusts)

(Footsteps thud lightly)

(Rain patters heavily)

(Train chugs, brakes squeal)

(Footsteps crunch)

(Splashing)

(Footsteps crunch)

(Bear roars) (Harold screams)

(Screams echo)

(Birds chirp)

- (Hopeful gasp) "Dishwasher needed".

Well, if, if I'm not a ninja

maybe I'm a dishwasher.

- Who ordered the cheeseburger?

- Hi. I'd like to apply for the dishwasher job and--

whaaaa-gi-ga-ah.

♪♪♪

Monks: Yay!

- Whoa. Kid, you're no dishwasher.

You're some kind of ninja.

(Echo) Ninja. Ninja. Ninja.

- You're right.

I am a ninja.

All: Ninja Beth! Ninja Beth! Ninja Beth! Ninja Beth!

(Whooshing)

- Mmmm.

- She's a food ninja too.

- Here, Beth. Catch this!

- Hi-ya!

All: (Gasp)

- Boy, Harold,

you were in the bathroom for a long time.

- Beth, I challenge you to an ultimate skills battle.

All: (Gasp)

- The winner gets to be class ninja,

and the loser... doesn't.

- It's okay Harold, you can be the--

- Why can't there just be two ninjas?

- (Sputters) Because... ninja rules say so...

and, and, and everyone knows that real ninjas

don't wear silly bee costumes!

All: (Gasp)

- (Whimpers)

- Oh snap!

- (Threatening) What did you just say?

He shouldn't have said that.

I was just going to let him be the class ninja.

But now? Uh-uh.

Challenge accepted.

(Both gasp)

- Whoa... - Woohoo!

Yes, this is gonna get so ugly!

- Welcome to the first...

- And probably last...

- Class ninja battle challenge royale!

Let's meet the competitors.

First up is Beth.

pounds, nicknamed "ninja Beth."

She's about to try karate chopping

through ice pop sticks.

- Yeahhh!

Noah: That's three ice pop sticks!

Wow! Can her challenger chop through four?

- We'll have to wait and see.

Beth's challenger is Harold.

Noah: pounds, and once lost a fight to a chicken.

Bridgette: We are just waiting on his ice pop sticks.

Oh, here they come now...

- (Slurps)

(Ice cracks)

Owwww! Brain freeze!

Hiii-ya!

(Bones crack)

Oowwww!

- Ooh. I guess ninja Beth took that one.

Now we go to the mouse trap mine field.

Noah: You need to cross the minefield of traps.

- (Scoffs) Piece of cake!

- While dodging dodge ba*ls.

- Huh?

- (Cackles)

- Ow! Owww! Ow! Ow! Ow! (Traps snap)

Ow! Owww! Ow! Ow! Ow! (Traps snap)

- Wow. He's not missing a single trap, is he?

- No he is not.

- Thanks for clearing a path, Harold.

- You're not welcome. Ow!

Noah: It's another victory for Beth.

- I feel kinda bad for Harold. Maybe I should just--

- Beth, I will defeat you,

because I am better than you...

in every! Single! Way!

(Landing thud) (Traps snap) Ow!

- Not feeling so bad about him now.

- Time for the final event

in the class ninja battle challenge royale.

- And the title's still up for grabs

because no one has been keeping count,

and we haven't learned math.

- Yup. Whoever wins this event will be named class ninja.

- It starts with a race down the slide full of fire ants.

- Why do they call them fire ants?

(Fire whooshes) - Gahhh!

- Bridgette: Then, across the monkey bars with real monkeys.

Noah: And they look pretty surly.

- No problem!

- I thought this was going to be hard. Heh.

Noah: Gotta make it across the snapping crab sandbox

before crossing the tofu greased teeter totter.

But it doesn't end there.

Next we test the would-be ninja's swimming skills

with a splash pad dash through piranha territory!

(Chomp, splash)

- Hey!

Bridgette: Then finally take a leap of faith

over the pit of sharp objects,

and break through the winner's ribbon.

Harold, you're up first.

- (Fire whooshes)

Noah: On your mark.

- A real ninja can do anything

he puts his mind to.

Noah: Get set.

- Time to show them I'm the greatest ninja that ever lived!

Noah: Go!

- I can't! I can't do it!

It's just too scary! I'm scared!

I'm not looking, I can't no... No... you can't make me!

- Harold's given up!

Beth, remains class ninja!

- You won fair and square.

(Sobs)

- Um, about that...

I don't really wanna be a ninja.

- What?!

- I only took the challenge

because you said my bee outfit was silly.

- I-I didn't mean that.

I-I think bees are cool.

- You do?

- Oh yeah. Did you know that a honey bee can fly...

(In unison) miles per hour.

- Harold, if I become class ninja

who will be the class bee?

The ninja job is yours.

Always has been, always will be.

High five!

- Whoaaaaa!

Ah! Fire! They're breathing fire!

- Dibs on his cubby.

Harold: Ow-ow-ow.

Ow. Eeee!

Ahhhhh!

Ow-ow-ow.

Ahhhhh!

Man eating fish! Ow-ow-ow.

(Panting)

- Way to go, ninja Harold!

All: (Cheer)

- Hey guys, look what I made.

I call it a piranha launcha!

(Booms) Ha!

Kids: (Scream)

(Monkeys screech)

- (Maniacal laugh)

(All screaming)

- Ah-ha-ha-ha! Noah: Piranha!

- Nooooooooo...

- Bad fish! Bad!

- (Maniacal laugh) Whoa!

(Landing chomp, monkey cries) - (Angry grunt)

- Whoa, Bridgette. You were like...

- Oh no.

- ...a ninja.

Harold: Noooooo!!!!